Where to find a life partner. Be in public places more often. Think about why you still don't have a couple

Honestly, anyone can find a life partner. Whether for marriage or just for communication. It's not a problem. There are many ways of dating in our world.

But, I am sure, each of us dreams of finding our soul mate, a soul mate, with whom we living together we will have a deep understanding.

We all want to live a life where we are true to ourselves. Because only by being true to ourselves can we turn our dreams into reality and follow our ideals that underpin our lives.

We will be able to know what drives us and what makes us happy. We will also be able to decipher what is truly good for us, filling the depths of our souls with the rich experience of using our talents.

A soul mate, the so-called soul mate, is the person who happily joins you on these private journeys. Your soul mate can be your spouse, partner, or just your best friend.

To meet your soul mate - to find your person, as close as possible in spirit and worldview. This is the highest happiness.

How to know your soul mate? How to understand that it is she?

There are several ways to appreciate and understand that you have found your soul mate:

Let me explain each one:

• Eternal love

The main characteristic of a soul mate is that he must love you. Yes, head over heels in love with you. Although it can be tricky, distinguishing a soul mate from a typical romantic partner is initially.

love with kindred spirit only gets stronger the more you are together and best friend know a friend.

It's like wine. The longer its exposure, the more refined and noble its taste.

He is very concerned about your well-being, and will always sincerely care for you.

He is always there to support your decisions and you in any situation.

• Unconditional acceptance

Why unconditional? Because if you enter into a marriage or relationship with a person whose goal is to change you, then this is not a soul mate.

A soul mate will accept you simply for who you are, without appreciating your positive and negative qualities. Every person has advantages and disadvantages. You cannot have one without the other.

For example, if you are a very determined person and you always achieve your goals, this is great, this is your positive trait. On the other hand, because of your determination, sometimes you can be too stubborn and cause inconvenience to some people around you.

Your soul mate understands that if he tries to change you, the traits that attracted him to you in the first place will also be distorted.

Natural tolerance and understanding makes you feel safe with him.

Remember that it must be mutual.

If you, too, love and accept him for who he is, and have learned to appreciate his good and bad traits, congratulations, you just found your soul mate!

• Selfless giving

The person you are spiritually connected to will be willing to share any part of their life with you. I don't mean literally, referring to his life, but rather various aspects which are largely valuable.

aspects such as time.

He will constantly make an effort to be with you, not because he has to, but because he wants to, knowing that such communication will help build relationships and take them to another level.

For example, always find time to call your friend, at least 5 minutes a day, despite being tired and busy.

Also, your soul mate is always eager to know your likes or dislikes, get to know your friends, participate in activities you enjoy, and let you know his needs.

His selfless giving includes money. Even when he doesn't have many of them.

Even when he faces financial difficulties, he will find a way to communicate together regardless of the amount of money.

But it is a mistake to expect the selfless giving of a soul mate when you don't feel that way in return.

Each characteristic of the assessment of your soul mate is equally applicable to you. Because-only when it is mutual, then you can consider a soul mate in a relationship. Is it logical?

• Joint Growth

Yes, you both need to grow up together.

mutual growth kindred spirits is a consequence full communication. You wanted to know more about your soul mate just as much as he is interested in it. He wants to know more about you through your family, your friends and your colleagues.

He loves your joint adventures or excursions where you both laughed, cried or dreamed together, revealing what makes each of you happy, angry, joyful or sad.

While it's highly likely that you can't have the same hobby as him, you have a lot in common that makes both of you not only physically active, but also emotionally and psychologically attached.

The desire to understand and do what you like causes common hobbies and mutual joy communication. It is easy and pleasant for you to communicate with each other.

This mutual exchange of love makes you and your soulmate one, your relationship blossoms, and the world gets better and better.

Although interest in couple living in many countries for some reason is decreasing, for many it is still important.

Let's see what modern social psychology has to say about this.

In social psychology, there are four basic conditions for the appearance of a life partner in your life (details can be found in the excellent textbook "Social Psychology" by David Myers).

1. Territorial proximity

I draw your attention to the interaction. If you just come in gym, work out your program and leave, you interact in best case with a trainer. The rest of the visitors to the gym remain nothing more than interior items for you.

What is needed is interaction. If you are engaged in a theater studio, you interact a lot and actively with each of the studio participants. In this interaction, the views of a person, his well-established patterns of behavior are revealed, habits and interests are visible.

Rapprochement is slow, but correct - first interest / attraction, then emotional closeness and then it comes to sex. As a result, people have something to talk about, absolutely bad choices are rejected even on distant approaches, there is little disappointment and broken hearts.

Unfortunately now really a big problem here with such places for full-fledged interaction. Usually everything happens at work, because. most people in large cities spend almost everything on travel and work free time. Weekends are usually reserved for sleepovers and minimal chores around the house.

However, if you are looking for a life partner, get off the internet and go to people. Do what interests you with other people. With a high degree of probability, you will meet the right person for you.

2. Physical attractiveness

It is clear that attractiveness is a relative thing to a certain extent, but if we take a hundred people and ask another thousand people to rank this hundred according to attractiveness, it turns out that the estimates more or less converge. In other words, each of us does have a different level of attractiveness.

Apparently, at the level of the spinal cord, we understand this, and therefore we choose those who are more or less equal to us.

Are there exceptions? Of course there are. When something other than physical attractiveness comes into play. An obvious example is that financial security can increase the attractiveness of even a very ugly man. And not necessarily the partner of such a man will prevaricate, finding him attractive. With her, this can be a completely sincere reaction (about the reasons - later).

3. Similarity of installations

Perhaps people from the same social circle will have such a similarity of attitudes, but this is not necessary. Such a similarity can be in people of completely different social origins.

Of course, one should not understand the similarity of attitudes as their complete identity. There are no people who were identical in all their views. It is enough if the views are more or less similar.

4. Sympathy

The fact is that we love those whose behavior somehow rewards us, or those who we associate with such a reward.

Here is an example. Suppose we have two girls of approximately equal attractiveness and a boy. One of the girls shows sympathy for him (that is, rewards him in the most obvious way), but for some reason he is more interested in the second girl. Why?

Because the second girl, as it seems to our hero, will reward him more. What exactly is not important. Maybe the second one has red hair, and our hero, for some unknown reason, believes that redheads are incredibly hot in bed. Maybe the second girl's dad is the dean and can solve the young man's problems with his studies. Does not matter. It is important that the second "promises" more rewards than the first. So she likes it more, despite her coldness.

Total. If you are looking for a life partner, start doing something with other people (preferably not work), look at those who roughly match you in appearance, feel free to show your views on life and show sympathy for those you like.

And I have everything, thank you for your attention.

Man is a social being, and therefore he must get acquainted with other people, communicate. However, in addition to this, every homo sapiens (at least the majority for sure) wants to love and be loved, to find a soul mate. How to find your life partner?

Love can hide anywhere

A life partner can be waiting for you literally everywhere, so take a closer look at those who surround you. Maybe one of your friends has already laid eyes on you for a long time, makes you hints about her feelings, but you don’t even notice. Or it could be a girl on a tram, sitting in the next seat, a neighbor in a place in a cinema hall, a work colleague or even a casual passerby. Always be ready because fateful meeting could happen any day.

Don't stay at home

Probably the only place where you cannot find a life partner is your home, so do not sit within four walls, but constantly get out somewhere whether it be a park, night club, cafe or a quiet little square not far from home.

Think about why you still don't have a couple

Maybe you still haven't found a girlfriend because you're doing something or behaving wrong.. Try to find the problem in yourself first and only then look for problems in the people around you.

More communication with friends

The more you communicate with friends, the more time you spend with them, the more chances you have to find a girlfriend. Old friends introduce you to new friends, new friends introduce you to their buddies. And so your circle of acquaintances grows, and finding a soul mate among acquaintances is easier when there are a lot of them.

Be in public places more often

You are walking around the city not far from home, hungry. Your actions? You can, of course, return home and eat there for free, or you can go to a cafe and order something inexpensive there to kill the worm and at the same time get to know pretty girl. Generally, visit public places more often.

Attend all your friends' parties

A great option to meet your future life partner is to attend a party hosted by one of your friends.. There are usually a lot of young people at such events, the main thing is not to miss the moment and find among the guests one that will be free.

Register on a dating site

You can try your luck at dating site, but it is better to register for several of them. Maybe it is on the Internet that you will find your love, and only then will you transfer your relationship to the real world.

Question to the psychologist:

Hello. At 29 and a half, I'm single. I have never been married and have not been in a relationship with a girl for over 3 months. I am constantly engaged and engaged in self-development, I try to improve. I do a lot of sports, I try to constantly grow and be more versatile and diverse. I tried myself in business quite successfully, I had very good results from scratch. Now I also run a small but successful business. Before that, I always achieved growth in the companies I worked for, or rather I didn’t achieve, but it turned out that I became the favorite of the authorities, although in my opinion I didn’t do anything specifically for this (I never hesitated to conflict with the management) . In life, everything somehow develops from childhood very simply. He graduated from school with one A (although at one time he was almost expelled for the fights that he started). A university with a red diploma, and certainly did not make efforts for this. He changed sports several times, in all he achieved good results. This is athletics, and boxing, parachuting, I really like horizontal bars. Never spared money and compliments for girls. One-time dates have always been a hit. I used to end many relationships myself when something was not for me. Then he reconsidered his attitude, recognized the partner's right to make mistakes, gained a reserve of patience, because he really wanted constancy. And got the opposite effect. Now they started throwing me. No matter how I bend, no matter how hard I try not to notice the inconsistencies in the relationship. I got the impression that everything only worsened from my acquired flexibility. Now the circle of communication has narrowed a lot. I don't talk much with my friends, because they are all far from healthy lifestyle life, and I don’t want to be a drinking companion for anyone. A female circle communication almost disappeared. If someone appears, and I show sympathy, then according to the standard I get an answer - what are you, we're just friends! I tried dating sites, but came to the conclusion that complete people not there, or I didn't find them. This is a collection of those who cling to options, there can be no talk of love. I became very lonely, the blues more and more often. Why is I so good no one needs. The girls are crying because they got in touch with alcoholics, drug addicts, etc., but they don’t want to get involved with me, although they don’t face such problems with me. I love and want to have children very much. But the more I think about it, the stronger the apathy every day. What could be my problem? Thank you very much for your answer.

The psychologist Bogutskaya Olesya Anatolyevna answers the question.

Michael, hello!

You have “success and good results” in all spheres of life. And it comes easily and effortlessly. Therefore, it is quite understandable why difficulties in personal life are perceived so acutely - after all, it does not work out by itself and in the right way. And how to achieve, how to go to the result in small steps, small victories - you have no experience. Just because everything was always easy. There is not the slightest reason for apathy and depression ... You just need to learn something new, something that you still do not know how, everyone does it all the time. Now your turn has come.

Patience and the partner's right to make mistakes is very cool, it's important, it's true. But not only on this are built successful relationship. Giving in and not noticing are not the best strategies to choose. It won't lead anywhere. The other person feels everything and always, even if not always on a conscious level. But on the subconscious, everything is read. And now the girl in front of you reads that you are bending ... and if a person is bending, he is playing, he is not real. And if he plays, does he want to achieve something that cannot be achieved honestly? Or is he hiding something in himself? Or does he have more good reasons not to be yourself?... And it's better not to mess with this at all, because everything is somehow murky ... The one who is drunk and beats - at least it is immediately clear what to expect from him.

But in any case, you should not build on how girls will perceive you. Need to push yourself, how comfortable are you to be? What kind of girl do you want to find? Who will appreciate YOU? Together with all the shortcomings and weaknesses (despite all the good results in life, you also have weaknesses, like everyone else normal people…)? Or which will lead to generous compliments and gifts? Decide on this to get started. Who do you want to find? Honest, sincere, loving? Then, first of all, you yourself must become one. Sincere and honest. And if you see inconsistencies in communication, there is no point in hushing up. What to do with them is a completely different question, for another conversation. But silence will never lead to good. The problem will come out anyway, only the longer you push it to the bottom, the uglier it will surface at the most unexpected moment.

Although interest in couple living in many countries for some reason is decreasing, for many it is still important.

Let's see what modern social psychology has to say about this.

In social psychology, there are four basic conditions for the appearance of a life partner in your life (details can be found in the excellent textbook "Social Psychology" by David Myers).

1. Territorial proximity

I draw your attention to the interaction. If you just come to the gym, work out your program and leave, you are interacting with the trainer at best. The rest of the visitors to the gym remain nothing more than interior items for you.

What is needed is interaction. If you are engaged in a theater studio, you interact a lot and actively with each of the studio participants. In this interaction, the views of a person, his well-established patterns of behavior are revealed, habits and interests are visible.

Rapprochement is slow, but correct - first interest / attraction, then emotional intimacy, and then it comes to sex. As a result, people have something to talk about, completely unsuccessful options are rejected even on distant approaches, there is little disappointment and broken hearts.

Unfortunately, now there is a really big problem with such places for full interaction. Usually everything happens at work, because. most people in large cities spend almost all their free time on travel and work. Weekends are usually reserved for sleepovers and minimal chores around the house.

However, if you are looking for a life partner, get off the internet and go to people. Do what interests you with other people. With a high degree of probability, you will meet the right person for you.

2. Physical attractiveness

It is clear that attractiveness is a relative thing to a certain extent, but if we take a hundred people and ask another thousand people to rank this hundred according to attractiveness, it turns out that the estimates more or less converge. In other words, each of us does have a different level of attractiveness.

Apparently, at the level of the spinal cord, we understand this, and therefore we choose those who are more or less equal to us.

Are there exceptions? Of course there are. When something other than physical attractiveness comes into play. An obvious example is that financial security can increase the attractiveness of even a very ugly man. And not necessarily the partner of such a man will prevaricate, finding him attractive. With her, this can be a completely sincere reaction (about the reasons - later).

3. Similarity of installations

Perhaps people from the same social circle will have such a similarity of attitudes, but this is not necessary. Such a similarity can be in people of completely different social origins.

Of course, one should not understand the similarity of attitudes as their complete identity. There are no people who were identical in all their views. It is enough if the views are more or less similar.

4. Sympathy

The fact is that we love those whose behavior somehow rewards us, or those who we associate with such a reward.

Here is an example. Suppose we have two girls of approximately equal attractiveness and a boy. One of the girls shows sympathy for him (that is, rewards him in the most obvious way), but for some reason he is more interested in the second girl. Why?

Because the second girl, as it seems to our hero, will reward him more. What exactly is not important. Maybe the second one has red hair, and our hero, for some unknown reason, believes that redheads are incredibly hot in bed. Maybe the second girl's dad is the dean and can solve the young man's problems with his studies. Does not matter. It is important that the second "promises" more rewards than the first. So she likes it more, despite her coldness.

Total. If you are looking for a life partner, start doing something with other people (preferably not work), look at those who roughly match you in appearance, feel free to show your views on life and show sympathy for those you like.

And I have everything, thank you for your attention.