Children and money: how to cultivate the right attitude? Successful league

It is important to know about the principles of proper handling of money from childhood. Do not deprive the child of pocket money, control his expenses and pay for help around the house. We suggest that you familiarize yourself with these and other mistakes in the financial upbringing of a child in detail.

1. Ban on talking about money

Many parents prefer not to devote their children to the financial affairs of the family. Usually, a conversation about planning a monthly budget takes place without their presence. As a result, the younger generation may have a misconception about the purpose of money, and in more adulthood there will be difficulties with the disposal of their own funds. Remember that the discussion family budget- quite normal process which should not be hidden from the child. It helps to understand how to spend money, thereby forming financial literacy.

2. Absence pocket money

Having their own money allows children to feel independent. Starting around age 6, try giving your child small amounts weekly or monthly that they can use as they see fit. With age, he will begin to spend this money wisely - pay for the Internet or buy gifts in honor of any holiday.

We read on the topic:Children and pocket money. How to teach a child to treat money correctly -

3. Constant control

Do not forbid the child to buy something with pocket money or scold him for another unnecessary waste. Of course, you want to teach him how to properly handle finances, guided only by good intentions. However, it turns out that the allocated funds belong to your children only formally. Such a rigid approach gives rise to a feeling of insecurity - the child is constantly afraid of making a mistake and angering his parents. Get ready for the fact that initially attempts to spend money on your own will be erroneous. Only in this way valuable experience is accumulated and desires and possibilities gradually begin to be measured.

4. Complete lack of control

It is important not to go to extremes, trying to take part in the financial education of the student. He must be sure that he has reliable support in the face of parents who will give wise advice and support. Be sure to voice the basic rules for handling money: take only small amounts with you, do not tell friends about your “wealth”, avoid gambling and disputes. Give advice on how to quickly collect the necessary amount for the purchase of a coveted toy.

5. Cash reward for achievements

It is not recommended to use money as an incentive - this applies to both good grades, and exemplary behavior. The child goes to school not to earn money, but seeks to acquire the necessary later life knowledge and experience. This is practically the only serious task of the student throughout the entire period of stay in the average educational institution, so learn to instill a craving for knowledge in some other way. In extreme cases, let useful things be a gift for a report card with excellent marks - a computer or a sightseeing trip to another city.

6. Paying for home help

Permanent award Money for a carefully cleaned room or timely watered flowers - not the best solution. Children will quickly get used to this way of “earning money” and will refuse to do something for free in the future. But the mother does not receive a surcharge for the cooked dinner, and the father repairs the broken vacuum cleaner for free. Teach your child the idea that all family members should equally take care of the house and create comfort in it. It is better to provide a teenager with intangible privileges for buying groceries or helping raise a younger brother.

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7. Measuring everything with money

It is necessary to teach the child to distribute values ​​correctly, while not neglecting spiritual education. Certainly financially. successful person has a lot of advantages, but security does not at all imply the presence of unlimited possibilities. It is worth explaining to children that the importance of a person is not measured at all by his well-being. Form right attitude to not material values books, illustrations or films, the main theme of which is love, friendship, kindness and mutual assistance, will help.

8. Withdrawal of earnings

Often teenagers want to earn some extra money during the period summer holidays. No need to take away their entire salary to replenish the family budget. Instead, ask for a meal for the whole family, or offer to part-pay for a shared movie trip. At the same time, part of the funds should still remain with the teenager for personal needs. It will be useful to inform him about the possibility of capital accumulation - for example, a tenth of the money earned can be set aside every month in a savings account.

We also read: How and why should children be encouraged? Should money be used as a reward? How not to praise a child -

9. Salary career choice

There are many professions that do not involve career development and a solid income. A teenager has the right to choose a specialty he likes and realize himself in a field close to him. You may not like his choice, but you should respect him. Offer to discuss his plans for the next few years. Ask where he sees himself after graduation, and ask if he will be completely satisfied with life if he gets the job he wants. Most convincing argument will be the example of parents. Share with the children your personal experience of choosing a profession, climbing the career ladder, and your own achievements.

10. Money manipulation

The main purpose of issuing pocket money is to lay the foundations of financial literacy. With their help, the child feels independence and responsibility for his own actions. Make the process of receiving funds transparent and obvious. It is recommended to establish a clear and consistent scheme for the payment of a certain amount, which should in no way affect the relationship between parents and children. It is worth depriving pocket funds only for serious misconduct.

12 rules for issuing pocket money to children ( personal experience). Plus video consultations of specialists -

How to answer the child correctly, where does mom and dad get money from? —

Upbringing: Children and money. Evening tea with N. Ahmedova

Pocket money: why and when to give it to children?

Should parents give their children pocket money? When to start doing this and how much can we talk about? These are very difficult questions financial consultant Elena Eidelman answers in the Rosina Mother program:

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“, told the site how to educate children in the right attitude towards money and material values.

- What problems related to money most often arise in the relationship between children and parents?

— Attitude to material values ​​and reward system. How carefully does the child treat expensive things that parents buy? And is the child worth the money or expensive gifts to encourage you to study well and follow the rules?

At what age should you discuss the topic of money with your child?

— I divide the children into about four age groups: junior (4-7 years old), school (7-11 years old), teenage (11-14 years old) and older teenage (14-18 years old). You can start at the age of four. At this age, the concept of “mine or someone else” appears, but children still often ask their parents to buy a toy and hardly stop inquiries. It is important to properly explain to your child why you cannot constantly buy new toys. four year old baby will not understand what a crisis or a mortgage is. But he will understand that there is “mine”, and there is “someone else's”. A person cannot spend more "mine" than he has. The family needs not only toys, but also food and clothes. If you spend everything only on entertainment, then there will be no money left for the rest.

A little later, at the age of 6-7 years, it is worth saying why mom and dad go to work. Every day they perform a number of duties, receive money for them. Money is worth the effort and time of mom and dad. At 7 years old, a child already has an idea of ​​\u200b\u200bvalue. Discuss with him why some things are expensive and others are cheap.

With going to school, children have more needs and questions. Why does my dad have one car and Sasha's dad another? Why did everyone buy a smartphone, but I didn’t? All of these questions require answers and honest discussion.

V adolescence a new layer begins, children begin to spend money on their own, there are already doubts about what it is worth spending money on, what not. Teenagers want to have their own money and the ability to manage it. Explain when you are ready to give extra money, and when you are not, and why. A teenager should be told about the economy, the banking system, loans, and production. It might be of interest to him.

From the age of fourteen, children can already be given ideas for independent earnings. For a teenager it useful experience. Not bad if he saves up for something, if he has a dream or desire. Independent earnings will help to form responsibility and the right attitude towards money and work.

- If the child does not live in a very wealthy family and faces discrimination at school?

“It's not an easy situation, but it happens quite often. Schools often mix children from different families. It is important to be honest with your child and tell him how much parents earn. For example, if the work is pleasant, but they earn a little, the parents themselves must accept this and feel comfortable. I think that the child will be able to adopt this feeling.

Difficulties in the classroom can still be. Classmates sometimes touch on this topic. Unfortunately, financial situation may affect the child's self-esteem. But it needs to be discussed and discussed. The position of the parents will help the child develop their attitude and assessment of what is happening. They can support him and give him the motivation to study well, get a prestigious job and earn as much as he wants.

- If the family, on the contrary, is very wealthy, how not to spoil the child?

- It is important to make it clear to the child that there are restrictions on purchases related to poor academic performance or behavior, or, for example, with the opinion of parents about the purchase.

In addition, children can earn pocket money from the age of fourteen. This is a useful experience that will come in handy for a child even from a very wealthy family. It gives independence and forms the right attitude towards life. If a child doesn't realize that spending has limits, they may not realize that there are limits in dealing with other people. It is important to show children that the financial situation of the family does not determine the personality of the child.

- If a parent notices that a child "buys" the attention of other children with sweets, ice cream, what to do about it?

- If this is not acceptable in the family, talk to the child about what he really wants. When a child tries to earn attention in this way, most likely he cannot earn it in another way. If a child is forbidden to pay friends for sweets, he will not understand why this is not possible, because it works. It is worth starting from afar, asking about close friends what they do together. Gradually reach out for what he lacks ordinary communication heart-to-heart, best friend etc. You can ask what he does to make friends, why it turns out that after buying sweets they begin to communicate, and if he does not buy, they do not communicate.

The child himself can not always adapt to social environment, he chooses the method of adaptation that seems simple, and it is impossible to take it away immediately until a new one has formed.

How to calculate the amount of pocket money? What should be guided by: what the child asks, or personal opinion?

- The question is complex and very individual. The size is determined by the parent. Pocket money should include money for food at school and something else, candy or something nice, so that the child can manage his money. When baby goes walk, you also need to give some money.

It is important that the child has pocket money. When it comes to big purchases, the point here is how much you can afford to spend on a child. However, these expenses should not include mandatory expenses. For instance, Winter Jacket should not be a birthday present or New Year. The jacket is obligatory thing, not a gift and not his dream. For the holidays, you want to get something nice.

- What to do if the child was caught petty theft from friends, acquaintances?

- First you need to understand the need of the child, why he does it. There may be several options: because the “friend-foe” border is poorly built, because he does not have enough money for what he really wants, because strong emotions: envy, anger, revenge, desire to attract attention.

Often what is needed is not money, but something more. Even if he does not have enough money to buy, it is little more than money, for example, a dream that he is saving up for. In each of the cases it is worth understanding individually. Do not use force, punishment, forbidding to do something. Most likely, the child will find a way to bypass this system and return to theft again. It is better to talk about it, try to understand it. If this is not possible, it is better to contact a psychologist.

— A few words of farewell.

— The attitude of the family to money is an important topic. Parents should talk to their children about money, they are very interested in this different ages differently. This is a significant aspect of life, a lot is tied to money. From the side it seems that the topic is understandable, here is the money, I pay so much, I get so much. But there are many ups and downs in it, feelings and relationships are intertwined. The child does not understand this by default.

Curriculum vitae:

Anastasia Parshukova - head of the camp

Parents often try to hide money problems from their children by protecting and protecting them in this way. In one case, the parents (and most often the mother, especially if she is raising the child alone) take on all the difficulties associated with the low income of the family, they try to ensure that the child has everything necessary and even more. On the one hand, it is good when the child does not feel disadvantaged, especially in comparison with peers. But, on the other hand, such a child may show selfishness and not take into account the needs of other family members, to believe that his desires should be satisfied first of all.
The same situation occurs if wealthy parents, especially those who have left poor families and have achieved well-being by their own labor, they indulge their children too much, wanting to give them what they themselves lacked so much. Such a child has everything that he can wish for, only he does not have the ability to earn money on his own.
The other extreme is the behavior of parents when they overly emotionally demonstrate their concern. financial condition families. Then the child very often hears: “We can’t buy this, we don’t have money,” “I don’t know what we will live on,” “if we buy this, we will have nothing to eat.” Children, especially young ones, may take such statements too literally, they may develop fears. So one child recalled: “My parents, not experiencing material need, said that I should remember that“ in one beautiful morning“We can wake up beggars. And so I sometimes lay in bed at night, afraid to close my eyes, so as not to wake up in the morning in poverty, hunger and cold.
Older children, especially teenagers, may then begin to have a negative attitude towards the lifestyle of their parents, getting an education, fixing on the topic of money.
As always, the right approach is in the middle: it is good if the parents calmly and intelligibly explain to the child what the financial difficulties and how the family is going to deal with it.

Commodity-money love

Often wealthy and very busy parents believe that "they can give children more than just spending their time on them", because they "work for the sake of children." And the time saved by communicating with the child, parents are ready to compensate “financially”, often not understanding that children do not need money at all.
I recall a proverb that came from China: money can buy a house, but not comfort; hours, but not time; bed, but not sleep; a book, but not knowledge; position, but not respect; medicines, but not health; blood, but not life; sex, but not love.
According to a survey conducted by the University of York among children aged 11 to 15, teenagers do not feel more or less happy depending on the income of their parents. Happiness is not affected by pocket money or parental income. What do children need to be happy? Trite and simple - a family in which they are loved and accepted by anyone.
Even if the father has lost his job, his baby, as a rule, is more satisfied than not with the new opportunities for home communication.
When there is no healthy contact between parents and children, and there is a substitution of real emotional relationships"commodity-money" - money, things, etc., we can get two diametrically opposed behaviors depending on the temperament and character of the child.
In children who are more active, stubborn, demanding, constant emotional hunger and irritation are manifested in chronic dissatisfaction and endless exactingness. The child unconsciously tries to “get enough” with the help of money, uncontrollably demanding more and more from the parents and not being satisfied with anything. Whatever you give, whatever you buy - it is always not enough for him, everything quickly becomes boring, something new is always needed. Such children tend to constantly compare themselves with others and, of course, not in their favor. It seems to them that they are deprived of something, that their parents did not give them something. Parents try to compensate with money for the lack of deep inner interaction, but, of course, to no avail.
Children are less active, rather melancholy, depressive, dependent, unable to express themselves without receiving due due from their parents. emotional support, not feeling loved, needed, they simply do not know what to desire. The child withdraws into himself like a snail, hides in his shell, and no matter how hard the parents try, no matter how hard they try to captivate him, showering him with gifts, he does not allow himself to be “lured” out, accepts offerings without much joy, for granted, and none of the most expensive thing cannot brighten up his life, compensate for the absence parental love and warmth. From his small, but already bitter experience, he knows that he still won’t receive the most important thing - parental attention, so is it worth dreaming about something at all?
In both cases, this is a protest against the replacement real relationship monetary, which, due to the characterological characteristics of children, is expressed in different ways.

Child management tool

Often, parents, realizing that the child is financially dependent on them, begin to manipulate this, sometimes unconsciously, using money to influence the child: “if you don’t do as I said, you won’t get a penny”; or: “if you want to do it your own way, then go and earn money yourself, here I am at your age ...”, etc. This causes alienation, a protest against the lifestyle of parents, against the overvaluation of money, and often manifests itself in the depreciation of money, in refusing to accept them, to take advantage of what parents have. As a result, all the efforts of parents are also depreciated: “For whom did I earn all this? »
Often, parents seem to invest in a child: by investing significant funds, they expect to receive a significant return, and therefore make excessive demands on the child, not taking into account his real capabilities, abilities and desires. And children, willy-nilly, have to justify the funds invested in them and spend their lives realizing parental ideas and fantasies.
Another important factor the relationship of the child to money is his personal experience in dealing with them.

Good afternoon, dear readers and subscribers of the Tvoya-Life blog. I have three children, two of whom are already old enough, and therefore there is a problem of their relationship with finances. When children start going to school, many parents ask themselves questions such as whether to give the child pocket money or not, to encourage and penalize the child for his actions?

Let's try to solve this problem in detail in this article.

Is it necessary in early age teach children the basics of financial literacy? And I think that as soon as a child can independently make a purchase for himself in a store, from then on it is worth introducing the basics of financial literacy into his education.

financial literacy, one of those very important and main sciences, which for some reason is not studied in schools. And therefore, the entire responsibility in raising a child in this area falls entirely on the shoulders of his parents. Therefore, parents should teach their child how to earn money, create sources of income for themselves, use the banking system and

1 Buy everything the child asks for

One of the very gross and common mistakes. It is abused mainly by those parents who have already achieved financial well-being, and believe that their child should have everything that he does not ask for. You need to buy only the equipment that the child really needs for study and education. For example, a computer or tablet.

The child eventually ceases to perceive real value money, and will consider that it should be so, that everyone buys him. In adulthood, such a child can grow into a person who heavily abuses loans, since he is used to having everything. But his income may not allow him to buy all this, and he may fall to the bottom of the financial abyss.

2 Lack of pocket money

Also very big mistake parents. If you do not give your child money, then he, seeing that his peers have them, may develop an inferiority complex in himself, and may begin to blame himself that he is not like everyone else.

3 Buy the cheapest things and toys for your child

This mistake of parents is the exact opposite of the first. And if a child is constantly infringed on something and saved on him, then he may develop a sense of self-doubt, and. And if his parents did not achieve great financial heights, then in 90 percent of cases he will repeat their fate in adulthood and grow up as a person, without any special financial goals, and will simply go with the flow in life, not trying to change something.

4 Formation of a negative attitude towards money in a child

Under no circumstances should this be done. So very often do those parents who themselves do not have enough in financial plan"stars from the sky" You should never explain your inability to buy something for a child by saying that money is bad and everyone is rich. bad people. It is always necessary to instill in the child such an opinion that everything is ahead of him, and he will be able to achieve more in his life than his parents. It is necessary to motivate the child to achieve and succeed.

5 Paying your child for school responsibilities and performance

You need to instill in your child such a point of view that all family members should contribute to family well-being and this is not done for money, but is done out of love and respect for others. With regard to school grades, it is necessary to instill in your child such an opinion that good academic performance is the key to his successful future, and the opportunity to enter a prestigious university, so that after that it will be easier to do business or manage your company.

Notice that we don't say "get a job" because in our country it's a road to nowhere. Perhaps in other more developed countries this way works, and being a highly paid employee is profitable and prestigious, but not in our country.

Another danger associated with paying a child for his household chores may be such that he simply stops doing something without money, or will raise prices. This is no longer a family, but some kind of business game.

6 Take full control of your child's expenses

It is necessary to make sure that the child can independently distribute and control his pocket money. And if he himself earned this money, even more so. Parents can only advise their child what they can do with money, but final decision must always be taken by the child himself.

The only exception is spending on prohibited items such as cigarettes and booze.

7 Forbid making money

If a child has a desire to earn money on his own, then such a desire should only be encouraged, and, if possible, advise and guide the child in this matter.

This approach will teach the child to be more careful about money, since pocket money is one thing, and self-earned money is another.

8 Removing a child from financial responsibility

If a child has spent his pocket money ahead of schedule, then it is necessary to explain to him that these are his problems, and it is necessary. You should not replenish his loss or overspending immediately, at his request. He must feel responsible for the money entrusted to him. This will help develop his planning skills.

9 Do not follow what you teach your child

No matter how hard you try and tell your child how to handle money, it will still be best to show him by example, and if you are a financially successful person, then your child will be successful.

Always remember that financial education for your children always your concern, and no school or institute will teach this, and your proper training will be the foundation of your children's financial success in adulthood.