A man behaves like a child to do. He does not seek career growth and material supply. Men - Adults Children

All life remain childrenBut not always it pleases. Most often, the husband who behaves like a child is annoying with his infantality. He cannot provide a family because he does not like to work and is not looking for a good job. Does not know what it means to take care of my wife and children, as it is not used to take responsibility for yourself.

Infantile man - sorry sight. Without the help of his wife or mother, he cannot even find himself clean socks. But they raise such sons themselves women themselves, and then they are surprised why he manifests laziness and egoism. In adult life, the infantile man is content with what he has, without taking any attempts to improve his life, although it has such an opportunity.

In psychology such education is called " learned helplessness". The simplest example of this helplessness - a man is sitting at home alone and waits when the wife comes from work and will prepare dinner. He meets his wife with a dissatisfied face, because he is hungry, but he can't make himself even buckwheat porridge or omelette. Such behavior manner is purchased In childhood. Little child wants to touch everything with his hands, everywhere to climb and do it yourself. So it develops and becomes independent. If every time he says: "I myself!", Mom is irritably answered to him: "I'm late, Sydi Skidno, Oderea herself! "Or" do not touch, spread! ", then the child grows by an infantile man, that is, hazardous, helpless and having his own opinions.

Of course, none mom wants to save son From dangers or seeking to have time everywhere, does not want to destroy the child from the child. Each mother wanders the child and does everything for him in the hope that he will have time to learn everything, when it grows, but until he is more convenient for her more conveniently to do everything when the kid sits near Smirno and quietly.

IN 3-4 years old Wake up a brutal desire to help parents. He gladly wash the dishes, watering flowers and vacuum. If my mother does not allow him to splash in the water with soap foam due to the fact that everything else follows him and finish, and he can smash the dishes or pour flowers, then the child quickly assimilates that he should not touch anything and Do, Mom will do everything herself.

In adolescence aged baby Trying to object to mom and defend your opinion. But the way to communicate with the son of my mother is the same as 10-12 years ago. She draws his son as a child, every time demanding from him: "Do, as I said, I better know what is good for you, but what is bad." After years, Mama himself has to choose a specialty son, since he will not have any desire to learn and work, but he will disobey mom and dad is afraid.

"We will become a doctor, they won how well live, not as engineers in the factory" - declare thoughtful parents. And the son enters the medical university, and then all his life regrets that he chose this profession. Over the years, he will hate something that he does and marry, hoping that at last his life will be more joyful and happy.

Actually to change your a life For the better, first of all, you need to change your attitude towards people. Women who marry men who behave like small children, from the first days of living together begin to understand that her chosen one does not love himself to bother and prefers to live at her. With surprise, they discover that her husband does not know how to even fry the scrambled eggs or launch a washing machine.

He got used to live on everything ready. After all, I prepared, I washed and cleaned my mother for him before that time, and now, from under her wing, he wants to go into the caring hands of his wife. But a rare woman can accept the husband's infantality, most of them cannot accept the irresponsible attitude of the spouse to ensure family and education of children.

On this soil in many families Quarrels regularly arise. If they are not, then this suggests that the wife herself grew into the family, where Mom worked and led a household, and Dad brought a meager salary and believed that if the family lacks money, then let the wife herself looking for ways to earn more.

Sadly such women They do not consider it necessary to demand from her husband to participate in home affairs, being confident that this is not a male matter. They close their eyes to the fact that the husband lives on all ready, and his salary is enough only to feed themselves. So they support male helplessness and show the wrong example of the behavior of the dad to their sons.

Typical phrases of menwho behave in the family as a child: "Go to the meeting itself to school, I do not know where to go," suddenly I will buy not what you need, let's better you, "you are to blame that our son is bad learn ", etc. Unfortunately, globally change the character of his husband's husband can no longer. An adult man can change only in trifles.

For starters, ask muga Every month pay bills for the apartment and wash the dishes. If he does not want to take over these responsibilities, do not do this work for him. Wait patiently when he fulfills household goods with which he can cope and praise it for every achievement. Perhaps in this case, your husband will finally grow up and will more often make actions inherent in real men, and will not be all his free time to lie on the sofa or play computer games.

Hello Dear Blog readers Self-thrustballs!

"Why does a man behaves like a child? What is this infantality? The woman should be for a man, as behind a stone wall, and not be a nannik, who should solve problems for him and know what he wants in life, "- Writes Eugene.

"You often mention in your blog about psychologically immature men. What if a man behaves like a child when difficulties begin and need to solve problems? When I told him about it, he laughed and said that men are big children, "-writes Olga.

"At first we had excellent relations, he ran after me like a dog. Then suddenly sat down, my questions asked to give him time to think if we were worth developing the relationship further. I'm tired of waiting and I asked him that we would break up then or how? He admitted that he was not ready to be ready for, because then he would not be able to go to nightclubs and would have to part with other girls with whom it was occupied periodically. It turns out that I was not alone, but simply in favorites. And the man, by the way, already for 40, never married. So probably will jump in life and never matures. And I will now have to start again, " Writes Julia.

About what men are best to navigate, read in my past article →. And in this release we will analyze one oddity in the behavior of some men.

A man is a big baby?

It is often said that a man is a big child. And in principle, this is not bad if we are talking about the desire to open the world, to learn from a new one, develop a logical and creative potential with the help of games. Children, in contrast to adults, are not yet burdened with negative experience and irrational fears that interfere with living normally and rejoice in every day, every new event.

My friends have a small 4-year-old daughter took an iPhone, downloaded the application and started playing. Dad was amazed how quickly and easily, she learned to use the technique with which he himself does not always find a common language. In fact, the child is not yet susceptible to stereotypes and fears that it is difficult to master the new and scary, his consciousness is free from oppressive irrational thoughts and blocking protective mechanisms.

We often brake stereotypical thinking, fears and stop in our development. Therefore, in the sense of direct, free from stereotypes, the perception of reality and thirst to master the world, even useful to remain a child, openly a smiling new day. This is a wonderful quality, both in a man and in a woman.

Peter Pena syndrome

Unfortunately, child behavior is not always a sign of immediacy. More than 20 years ago, a social phenomenon was discovered in society, which was given by the name "Peter Peter" syndrome. This term introduced the American psychotherapist den Cayle. Peter Pen is the protagonist of James Barry's fairy tale, a 12-year-old boy who lives on a fabulous island and not an adheat. Perhaps you have already seen such in life:, but still behaves like a child when difficulties and problems arise.

The main feature of men with Peter Syndrome Pena is the fear of being responsible for yourself and others. They evade all means of duties, do not recognize their mistakes and love to dump all the blame on other or external circumstances. In other words, these are men who in the process of growing not formed into a mature person.

Such men feel that they cannot satisfy the requirements that are put in front of them, as before adults. They cannot cope with reality and find shelter in their own world, where everything is easy and there is nothing serious. They are not able to truly establish a close relationship with a woman or friends or loved ones. As a rule, their relationship with the opposite sex is short-lived.

Psychotherapeutic practice collected by various specialists shows that Peter Peter Syndrome may be caused by genetic predisposition, such as high extroversion in combination with low emotionality and environmental influence.

Often, such immature men had a very strict father and they did not feel love in their family. Parents presented high demands for the boy, wanting to make it successful and send along a certain path. Perhaps he was forced to follow in the footsack of parents, to learn a certain profession. The boy was forced to play the role that did not meet his abilities and interests. In such a situation, the child goes into his inner world in which he does not grow.

Another case of the development of "Peter Foam's Syndrome", when parents excessively take a child and do not teach him responsibility. If a man in children's and adolescent age was not accustomed to take responsibility, it will be difficult for him to do it, becoming an adult. He prefers an easy way: to stay in the soul of a small boy.

Such men often experience a chronic feeling of boredom and therefore are in search of fun and adrenaline. They can be committed to extreme sports, tie into sexual adventures, alcohol and drugs. On the one hand, they want to be loved ones, but to maintain reliable relationships, they lack maturity. On the other hand, they claim that they want to live to live that they always satisfied them, that is, easily and careless. Most of them suffer from emotional isolation, which is compensated by hypertrophied behavior, for example, such as narcissism or macho behavior.

Staying young in the soul is the desire of many people, but it has nothing to do with psychological immaturity. The ability to take responsibility gives us the possibility of self-realization, the ability to develop further and open up new faces of full-fledged life.

Unfortunately, many women have to deal with psychologically immature men. I know a man who first meets women, and then runs away from them, sleeps with his little dog and spends all incomes only for their entertainment. I ask him: " listen to you for forty, when will you marry "?To which he answers me like this: "In front of marriage, I want to go to the army first and see other cultures ...".This is truly a big child for whom life is a solid adventure and game. To marry, it means to leave the game and adventure, and this is impossible for him.

Question to a psychologist:

Hello! In relations with the guy for 2.5 years. Before that, everything was fine: understood each other, no quarrels, compromises, general views on life. But over time, the guy began to change. I am 20, he was 26. It would seem, an adult guy, what problems may be: it works, earns, invested in our joint future, both financially and morally. But he began to behave like a child! Offended every little thing; When a quarrel happens, I am constantly to blame (this is so a guy says). When I propose to pick up, the guy begins to guide himself as a small child, makes putting up "on the little sinters". "On Misinchiki"! Right as in 5 years in kindergarten. Or, when I am ready to go to reconciliation begins: "Well, you ask me well, I'll think about it .." Maybe at the time of quarrels start going to gather with the words: "If you don't catch me now on the expense of three, then I'm leaving! Once Two, three ... ", if I do not catch him, then makes a sufferer face and really goes away. I already have nerves at the limit. I can't accept this behavior of a big child. When I start it to explain that this kindergarten is annoying me, it is answered: "Well, I like it so much, I find it difficult for me to play?". Already explained that I want to see an adult man with me, and not that. The compromise in this situation is not possible to achieve. As a result - scandals, resentment, reduced sexual attraction and excitement to the partner. Before that, everything was fine. Nothing was observed. This guys began six months ago. I became irritable, aggressive, I do not show a caress, more precisely, I want to show it, but I can't do it. Because of this, the young man is offended, says that I ceased to be tender, affectionate and it seems to him that my love is fastened to him. And he is right, my feelings have become not like before. We used to be on the same wave, never was bored in each other's society, constantly something new, and now I understand that I'm tired and I want to be alone. The guy is offended. I love him and see that he also loves me, sincerely. Will do to the detriment of yourself, but better for me. But with this feature of his character I can not accept. Tell me what to do in the current situation? How to solve this problem and save the relationship? How do I enroll in this matter? Thanks in advance for the answer!

The psychologist Sviridova Lyudmila Pavlovna is responsible for the question.

Hello Julia! You with a young man together for 2.5 years already, and half a year ago his behavior began to change. Let's look at the situation from different sides. First of all, any relationships are mobile, the changes are influenced by different factors, and the environment, and addiction, and self-affirmation, in the end, even heredity. Therefore, try to analyze with what the first manifestation of such capriciousness was associated with, maybe this behavior is inherent to someone from your guy or from the environment, and he liked it, maybe you allow yourself to be a capricious, or vice versa, too serious, And your relationship lacks ease. Secondly: you write that in all the rest he suits you. This is also an important factor, look at the basic roles expected from a man, how he copes with them: a defender, a minider, the chief, "detachment", the future father. How much does he manifest himself in this regard? What are his future prospects? If all this is accepted, then you can close your eyes on some disadvantages. Understand that ideal people do not happen - these are illusions. Each person has any drawbacks. Recommend to his positive manifestations. Learn to play in relationships, find inside yourself and turn on a "little girl" at such moments, then it will be easier for you to remove the tension among yourself. It is impossible to be serious all the time, it makes life boring and monotonous, the sense of humor helps in this. Thirdly: There is a big difference when people are just found and when they begin to live on one territory. A joint accommodation is almost a family life, and it takes place in different functional areas: household, financial, financial, communication, sexy, leisure - Look at which one you most often occur conflicts, what you can not agree. As I have already written that the relationship is always dynamic, they are or developing or destroyed. If this is consciously conscious, with the understanding that difficulties, conflicts are from everyone, and this is normal, but everyone decide that in their own way, then ask yourself: "I want to be always right? Or do I want to save and develop relationships? " From this will depend on the direction of your actions: to be offended and irritated or changed and embedded in each other as puzzles. Such moments in life are called crises, they are like steps in motion on a common life, you can go down, and you can rise. Crises put new tasks before us, and all different decisions and answers. Therefore, Julia, here much depends in person from you. I wish you to learn flexibility in relationships!

Natalia Kapartov

Reading time: 5 minutes

A.

Adult men are adult children. In fact, only age is changing, but the behavior is practically not changed, the toys are changing more likely to which men play.

But there are two big differences. It's one thing when a man remains in the soul child and child behavior manifests itself in trifles: in the incredible joy of buying a new phone, in the demonstration of the new clothes. This is more likelying and brings joy. But there is also another side of children's behavior, it is infantile manifestations in all life situations. Communication with such people is very problematic, they are practically not susceptible to the arguments of common sense.

Causes of child behavior of a man

If a man behaves like a child, it is not necessary to ignore it, it is worth understanding about it. But first let's look at the evolution of the behavior of men.

When a boy is completely small, he still does not know how to speak, but can only cry, so in most cases it is possible to achieve the desired from him due to whining, whims and tears.

When the child learned to speak, he appears a new tool for obtaining what he needs. This tool word. And the word can be achieved what you want faster than crying. Now the child can say "Give!" And parents are satisfied with the fact that the child spoke, give him what he asks. If the child does not get this, it resortes to the old method - whims and whining.

Further parents begin to teach a child of courtesy. And now the child understands that an effective way to get the desired is to say "please." And here, if the child wants to get the desired candy in the store, he begins to explain to his mother, why he needs she need and say, if it does not work, the previous work tool will be turned on and if it does not work, then the very effective roar will turn on.

Further, an adult, a child becomes more and more new tools. So in kindergarten or school, he can learn to deceive in order to get the desired one. He still understands that money is also a good tool to obtain the desired one. New and new tools appear.
And so, when a man matured, to get the desired he uses the most successful tools, and if nothing happens with their help, it all starts to go downwardly.

Signs of child behavior

The biggest problem in the relationship is that a man is not always and not in everything corresponds to the role of her husband and does not assume responsibility that this role implies. In such cases, the husband continues to be the same child as before, but two roles in a woman fall at once: the role of mother for an adult baby and the role of her husband, the head of the family.

What to do in such a difficult situation? Oddly enough, but the best, winning and correct option is to fit the role of women and wife and relieve the role of a big child's husband and mother.

How to do it? Your husband is still the child and everyone has to remind him of everything that the hands are waved, and the garbage carried out and that did not forget it. You are all reminding and reminding him of everything in the world, and he cannot live without you and day without you. And it will not be able, if you continue to continue to do so. Give him freedom and independence, let him learn to remember what he needs to do what his duties exist. Not trouble, if he is about something for the first time, and what happens in life from the first time well? But he does it himself. Praise him from time to time that he was well done and did not forget to pay the rent today. You must be support for him, and what kind of man don't like praise?

What if the husband plays on the computer as a child?

Unfortunately, you will not be able to remove it from this, and why. From time to time they are even useful, a man is where to spill the accumulated negative energy, discharge. But try to reduce the time spent behind the games you can still. It is possible that it would be interesting for him and to some extent would have a gaming nature.

It can be as a joint active rest, just such that you liked both if he does not like volleyball, then going to the game together for him in a burden. If you want it to help you at home, create conditions for him to encourage help, it can be both praise and promise or bake his favorite poppy cupcakes.

What if the husband spreads everything and / or does not remove it?

Of course, you're tired of collecting all dirty socks in the apartment behind him, he learns him from this very difficult. To begin with, pay attention to the husband on the fact of the existence of the garbage basket, some of her existence do not even know. And define it as a place to store dirty socks. If it did not help, then arrange regular reminders where they still have to be provided.

And how do you struggle with the children's behavior of your man?

Welcome to you, dear readers! If yours husband behaves like a childAnd you do not know what to do, then our article is for you! Here we will consider the main reasons for such behavior, as well as ways to solve the problem.

Following the recommendations below, you can correct the habits of your husband and make it a real chapter family. Do not forget that in order for the husband to do not behave like a child, it is important to let him understand what he is supporting in the family and without him you can not cope.

In the case when you already have a child in the family, then this is a good reason for the "re-education" of your chosen one. Do not forget to occasionally say my husband that your child is equal to him, and therefore it has time to behave accordingly. Such a comparison will show the chosen one with all the responsibility of his behavior.

Try to build a trust relationship with your husband. Do not criticize and do not scold him as a child, but on the contrary, support it to behave differently. The chosen one must feel that you are his companion and a good friend, not mommy. Try to your family clearly divide the duties around the house so that the beloved knew for what actions he is responsible, and for which you are.

Dear readers, we sincerely hope that in our article you have found effective recommendations, how to make the husband stop to behave like a child. We say goodbye to you with faith in what you can relationships in your family.

If your girlfriends are present in the family the same problems as you have, then you can recommend them to read our article in the social network.