How can you make your relationship stronger? The goals can be related. Full, frank communication

Great and terribly romantic: a beautiful bride, a courageous groom, moved parents. This is an ordinary wedding, it doesn't matter if it's expensive or not.

Young cutely hold hands, He supports her, She timidly hugs him. Champagne, "Bitter!", White dress and flowers.

But! Very often after a while She is not at all so sweet, and He is far from courageous, kind and gentle.

Why is that? Is there any formula for a happy married life? And what are its components.

Marriage and heaven

The predestination of fate and therefore obedience to it is the main enemy for a happy family life. And even if God himself sent the other half to you, you need to understand that becoming one with this half is quite difficult.

General views on life, interests for a happy marriage should develop into a joint perception of any given at a cellular, necessarily, general level.

And this gift needs to be learned. It doesn't come easily. It is not enough to love a partner, to get pleasure from life and intimacy with him, you need to do a lot to say: "our marriage was made in heaven." So,

• It is not easy to blindly love a partner and be his shadow, you need to correspond to him, become, indeed, an integral part of him;
• A happy family is a family in which they constantly work on relationships: they learn lessons from quarrels, improve themselves, correct shortcomings (and only their own);
• You must always support your partner. Then, indeed, family relations will be warm, friendly, and love will never pass.

But! You can't overdo it. It is impossible to be around all the time, to call constantly, not to give any freedom in any case.

In general, a marriage made in heaven is a relationship built on love, respect, and friendship. But this relationship has one terrible enemy - everyday life... His insidiousness is constancy. You can't get away from everyday life. But even he can be made your ally.

Life and love

Constant little things like hair on a comb or an uncleaned plate can make even an angel mad and bring a romantic, warm and reverent relationship to a complete break. To prevent this from happening, it is worth somehow rationally distributing all everyday tasks. Perhaps the division of responsibilities and, no doubt, general cleanliness in everything will help.

If only the spouse is busy putting things in order, and the spouse is only bringing him into a state of chaos, there will be no peace. Even if the wife is silent, resentment and unspoken reproaches from the inside undermine her love and completely there may come a moment when she realizes that there is really nothing to love her husband for.

It is quite possible to refer to everyday life not only order in the house, but also caring for children and even the ability to make money. A family built according to the patriarchal principle will keep on respect for the head of the family, who a priori supports it well.

The matriarchal arrangement assumes that the spouse takes over the household responsibilities. And half of it is busy earning daily living. It is desirable that in such a situation the man managed to maintain his dignity and remain a representative of the strong half.

It is important! Whatever strong-willed women say, each of them dreams of resting on a man's shoulder (truly masculine). Everyday life should not become either the basis of relationships, nor the beginning for their destruction. He just needs to be streamlined and then he will not become the enemy of a happy family.

A happy family is constant work. But whose?

So, the couple is happy with a well-organized life, stable income, excellent (or at least just good and regular) sex and mutual respect. And this short phrase includes daily and sometimes quite hard work on oneself and on one's own not the best qualities.

It is important! Strong family relationships must be created from the first day of life together and then constantly maintained. If there are any failures (and they happen to all just wise, sensitive people pass faster), both need to work on the problem.

Such a family is doomed to a long life. With mutual respect, the hobby will last for a long time, and the second half will always be interesting, and her problems are really important.

Trying to level out your shortcomings and cultivate your merits, you can keep your partner's interest in yourself for a long time and thereby spur him on to improve himself.

Are there rules for happiness?

And although Tolstoy once said that every happy family is equally happy, and an unhappy family is unhappy in its own way, there are rules that will allow you to at least balance at the level of the first part of the classic's statement.

1. To truly love.
2. Be genuinely interested in your spouse's affairs.
3. Work on imperfections.
4. Develop dignity.
5. Find common interests.

These phrases can be supplemented with the following: strong family ties mean not only spending time together, but also separate. Respect and love, but also your own dignity. Common interests, but also the development of their personality.

In general, everyone can become happy in a strong marriage, if there is a desire.

Some Things to Avoid in a Relationship to Make It Strong and Happy

Serious and lasting relationships don't happen by themselves. . You need to work on them, strives to give them all your free time and patience. Both partners must invest their hearts in order for their relationship to become strong and stable.

What you need to do to build a strong relationship

After hundreds of all kinds of workshops, discussion and analysis of relationships between different couples, learning methods and examples of how people built strong relationships, we finally found several ways to build them.

Whatever you are working on, be it friendship, family relationships, or just communication during the candy-bouquet period, you must pay attention to little things and details... They are the foundation of your relationship. A joint life is built on the little things.

Methods on how to build strong relationships have been published a million times already, but I consider it necessary to pay attention to points to avoid in a relationship.

1. Don't rush things

Because of the desire to quickly feel the emotions of a happy "happy ending", people often miss all the joys of current events. You live right now - do not miss the present, because of thoughts about the future! You need to enjoy the moments and people that are nearby in your present, because tomorrow all this may no longer be.

2. Don't expect your relationship to solve all your problems.

Strong relationships bring joy and pleasure, in herehappiness inside each of us... No one will make you happier and more cheerful than your own inner strength. No one but you will heal your old mental wounds, emptiness, and no one will teach you to forgive. Don't make anyone responsible for your own happiness.

3. You shouldn't even think that building a relationship is an easy thing.

Long-term relationships are great, but building them is difficult and not everyone succeeds the first time.

Partners more and more often think that they may have made a mistake, perhaps they chose the wrong person. In short, a bunch of thoughts that evoke a terrible sense of doubt.

But on the other hand, this is a feeling of challenge in front of uncertainty, the opportunity to reach a new level in your relationship. It makes you move forward towards a happy future.

All feelings are contradictory, and you need to work hard to develop your relationship.

4. Don't let fear take over love and sincerity.

You will never lose in love, only the fear of going forward will keep you an outsider. It's impossible to build relationships without giving your loved one a chance.

Love lies in the fact that you allow a person to hurt you, because you open your soul to him, and he is already doing everything so as not to harm you, but, on the contrary, to protect you.

Without trust, love dies.You cannot live with the idea that you will be deceived, you need to learn to trust people. If you want to trust someone, you need people to be able to trust you.

5. In no case, do not reveal each other's secrets

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. And if it is suddenly violated, then it takes a lot of time and effort to restore trust.

Recently, at master classes and trainings, they more and more often say "I did not deceive her, I just did not tell the whole truth." This statement is contradictory, because understatement is already a lie and pain.

It's just a matter of time when the truth comes out. And they will definitely find out about her, and then there will be no turning back, there will be no way to return trust in the relationship. This will be the beginning of the end.

6. Don't hide your feelings.

You can't pretend when it comes to feelings. There is no place for pretense in love. You need to be real and sincere in all matters. To be real is to be able to love.

7. The main thing is to be yourself

There is nothing better for relationships and happiness than being yourself in spite of all life's ups and downs. Strive to be better.

8. No need to assert yourself at the expense of other people and their feelings.

Never expect other people's permission to be yourself. Not everything depends on others.

Nobody can allow or forbid you to be happy and live for your own pleasure. This is your personal decision, your creativity, your conclusions. All of this makes you exactly who you are.

9. You can not be angry with each other

Now is the time! It is high time to let go of grievances and misunderstandings. Let's forget about everything that hurts. Let's tell you what we don't like.

Find a common language with those who are dear to you and do your best for this every day. Even if something cannot be forgiven, pull yourself together - and forget. Life is too short to remember grudges.

10. The past cannot be changed. You need to remember this

Happiness in a relationship is about will come to terms with the fact that the past has already passed and nothing can be changed in it... Sometimes you allow yourself to accept past events, and sometimes they kill you from the inside. But you always need to forgive the people you love. And look to the future with peace in your heart.

11. No need to think that your loved one will always be strong and powerful

Sometimes loved ones upset us because they cannot support you the way we need to. But people are not telepathic, and cannot read other people's thoughts. "I can't stand it" doesn't mean "I don't love you." It simply means that "I am still struggling just like you."

12. You can not concentrate on the shortcomings of people.

Have you done your best to convey your sincere love to other people? The more goodness and light you see in them, the more goodness and light there is in your heart. After all, you can see in others only what is within you.

13. No need to do something because of a sense of duty, you need to do everything at the behest of the heart

Do selfless acts not only for the people you love, but also for strangers. Start doing this today.

Do them because you can do it, and it will make the world brighter and happier. Always give more than you receive. Shift your priorities from "How do I get something?" to “How can I give something?”, and you will be delighted with the result, because you will receive more than you gave.

Honestly, the happiest people in strong relationships look for ways to help each other. Unhappy people ask themselves the question: "What is the benefit to me?"

14. Relationships need work.

The craziest and most glorious things happen when you pay attention to someone. You need to breathe life into relationships, pay attention and care.

Now let's think about those you want to take care of. With our crazy schedule, we forget to rest and relax with loved ones. Parting is often measured not in kilometers, but in affection and the ability to wait.

Some may be very close physically, but spiritually they will be hundreds of kilometers apart. So don't ignore your loved ones. The most offensive feeling is the feeling that you are not needed, that you are ignored and not noticed.

15. You can not make fun of each other

Be there for good and bad times, no matter what happens - joy or sorrow.

Be prepared to be a lifeline, trusted friend, quiet listener, and good counselor in all circumstances.

In a stable relationship, everyone should be confident in their partner, in his support and care. You need to boldly rely on each other, but not when it is convenient for one of them, but when it is really needed.

16. You cannot assume that a person is a constant in your life by necessity, you just need to love him

Now I will try to explain. The art of caring for others is at the heart of feelings of love and respect. Caring means being able to listen, giving a sense of complicity in a problem, and letting people know that they are heard and appreciated.

17. You can't interrupt when your loved one needs to talk

It takes courage and courage to stand up and voice your opinion, but trying to open the soul and listen requires more courage and strength... You need to be careful and, above all, you always need to be a good listener.

This skill will never be superfluous for you. Since people most often need exactly those who know how to listen, and not those who constantly express their point of view.

The most valuable thing is to get to the bottom of what has been said. The main thing is to understand what the interlocutor is saying between the lines. You are as beautiful as you feel love and as intelligent as you can listen.

18. Don't take it personally

If you take everything to heart, and always assume that people want to offend you, then you will simply sulk at everyone for life.

People do this or that because of their inner convictions, and not personally because you think something about them.

Never let the behavior of the people around you affect your inner balance with yourself.

19. Don't deny your identity

When two people meet each other, the one whose inner world is stronger wins. He is stronger in spirit, more confident in himself and easier to find a common language with others. You can't kill yourself in a relationship.

20. Don't say yes when you want to say no

You cannot always agree with everyone, people will not appreciate it, and you will lose yourself. You need to be able to set boundaries and priorities.

21. Don't hold back yourself and your personal growth

You need to learn to give people a second chance, but you need to understand that the person with whom you are now together should always develop, and not be a supporter of a static life.

Try to spend less time with those who are afraid to take risks and are always in their "personal comfort" zone.

And if a loved one does not contribute to your development, then it's time to let him go. Your relationship should reinforce you in this long life of your own development, not hurt you.

22. You can not interfere with the development and growth of a loved one

A stable relationship promotes personal growth, both for the relationship as a whole and for each partner individually. If one of the partners is not happy with the success of the other, then this is most likely an indicator of inner fear.

Even if someone begins to feel that their paths diverge, then they need to disperse with dignity, without harming anyone. Mutual growth is, first of all, setting the personal goals of each of the partners.

23. You cannot immediately look for a replacement after the break

Feeling the pain of losing a loved one or friend shouldn't make you feel desperate.

You cannot immediately look for a replacement so as not to feel lonely. Such sudden decisions will prevent you from examining your thoughts and clearing your mind to make the right decision.

24. Don't look at an ended relationship as a failure.

Even if not all relationships lead to a “happy ending,” that doesn't mean they were your biggest failure and disappointment. Each person in your life brings you new experiences and teaches you something previously unknown. And it will make your future relationship stronger and more stable.

25. Don't let what's left get in the way of your life.

As long as your thoughts stick to the problems and mistakes of past relationships, you cannot create new ones. You cannot be afraid of your own fears. We need to fight them.

YOU are the master of your life, you have the strength to create new, strong relationships. You already have experience, and you learned from your mistakes. It's time to get smarter.published. If you have any questions on this topic, ask them to the specialists and readers of our project .

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness - together we are changing the world! © econet

The modern world is the world of fast love. It was our grandfathers who took care of the grandmothers for years. Today we fall in love with lightning speed. One look, one smile, one flirtation. And a relationship has already begun. A couple develops in just a couple of days - and everything is fine with her: crazy sex, pleasant pastime, joint fun. All his friends are delighted with her, all her colleagues do not like him. A week later, we moved in to be closer and enjoy each other to the fullest. It seems that the whole world lies at their feet. But two weeks later, the first quarrels begin, the relationship is cracking. After three months, it becomes unbearable to be together, from one glance at each other hatred boils inside. We ran away ... The modern world is a world of quick love, but without strong relationships. But I really want the latter.

Why does a relationship end quickly?
Why doesn't fast love often turn into strong relationships?
How to build the strongest relationship with your loved one?
Are there rules for strong relationships? What you need to know in order not to be bitterly mistaken in love?

No matter how quickly we fall in love, we always want a strong relationship and a happy life to follow. But this does not always work out. Repeating our experience over and over again with new partners, it becomes obvious that somewhere we are making a mistake. But where?

Why does fast love fade so quickly?

When love ends, disappointment in your chosen one (chosen one) inevitably comes. We see all his / her shortcomings and more often than not, looking back, we are looking for an answer to only one question: how could you fall in love with THIS? And it seems to us that next time everything will be different: the chosen one will be better chosen, which means that the relationship will turn out to be stronger. Time passes, these wounds heal, a new person meets and ... the same story repeats itself. Why it happens?

The answer lies on the surface: we fall in love quickly, just at the behest of the heart, but strong relationships never spontaneously appear. It `s that what you need to be able to build, often through effort.

We treat love as a given. I love and feel my beloved as something ideally created for me. And here a bomb has always been planted under the relationship - life inevitably disappoints, because people always fall in love with their opposites.

Nature is rational and it does not bring the same people together: they will always be different in their properties. No wonder they say that these are two halves of an apple. Some people mistakenly believe that they mean the similarity of people in a pair. No, here the meaning is different: not similarity, but complementing each other, adding in those properties where there is not enough. For example, if the wife is fast and nimble, then the husband is reasonable and calm. He does the job well and is very flexible. Individually, each of them has flaws, but together they are strength. But to become strength, they need to understand each other's strengths and weaknesses. Unfortunately, we often act exactly the opposite: we see our strengths as a kind of role model, and our partner's weaknesses only irritate, anger and offend. What a strong relationship there can be - only quarrels and swearing.

Do not create the illusion that the problem lies solely in the speed of modern love. Earlier, some say, it was not so. People fell in love and built strong relationships for life. This is not a completely true statement: indeed, in fact, we see that there used to be strong relationships, there were much fewer divorces, but was it really love until the grave? Or something else?

More recently, people have had completely different relationships. At the beginning of falling in love, they did not have an intimate connection and on this attraction, when you want, but you can't, there was a recognition of each other. The tension made you look after, try to make a person feel good, keep yourself on top. This period was much longer than it is today. People gradually got used to a stranger, in fact, a person, understood his features and, on the basis of falling in love, learned to forgive, grind, accept the features of another.

That is, as a rule, when people got married, they already had some kind of relationship basis. At least an elementary adjustment to some character traits. But, of course, this is too little for a strong relationship. And, of course, after the wedding and honeymoon, they inevitably began to quarrel, swear. However, they had a clue that saved them from divorce - children were born immediately. And with the birth of a child, their lives changed: they no longer looked at each other, but took care of the third. And it was difficult: there were no diapers, cooking, washing and cleaning took almost all the time. A man and a woman needed each other, which means that their life together continued.

Today, the opposite is true: people enter into love and sexual relations very quickly. After a couple of days, acquaintances come together and face the peculiarities of a stranger in all their ugliness. We embellish ourselves when we go on a date, but we don't do it in front of the person we are sleeping with in the same bed. Features of the opposite nature appear quickly and brightly, literally creep out of all the cracks. We are drowning in these little things: it turns out that he throws his socks all over the apartment, spits in the bathroom in the morning and forgets to twist a tube of toothpaste. And she doesn’t wash the dishes for two days, she’s not going to give up going to the club all night.

How to build the strongest relationship with your loved one?

This does not mean that everything is lost and modern fast love is doomed to failure. Quite the opposite. It's just that today there are new circumstances of life that need to be adapted, learn to live in them and create strong relationships.

A person is created for a strong relationship in a couple. And any accomplished adult contemporary has the power to build them. You just need to understand where and how to move.

From fast, crazy love, it is possible to build a very strong relationship for life.

The first thing to do is to create a base for a relationship. Previously, people rubbed themselves against each other through the tension from the lack of an intimate connection - courting and trying to please. Today the same the base can be built in a different, more advanced way- learning to recognize the desires of a loved one through an accurate understanding of his psychology. Not guessing about its features, but knowing them. And at the same time, knowing yourself.

This can be done by knowledge of the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. Thousands of people have already attended lectures on system-vector thinking and their relationship has changed qualitatively along with this. ...

Try it too! Introductory lectures are free, take place online and are available to everyone. To register, go to

In order not to be disappointed in the chosen one, a woman needs to deal with her own desires, to understand what qualities are important to her in a man. There is no doubt that almost all women strive for correct, close to ideal relationships. It turns out this is far from all. When illusions collapse, many decide to come to terms with the shortcomings of the chosen one due to the fear of loneliness. Some tips on how to avoid disappointment in a relationship:

• In order for the relationship to be harmonious, it is necessary to show care and support not only in moments of joy, but also in difficult life situations. Always be honest with a man. Start working on yourself, strive to become better.
• Do not try to remake a man, accept both the strengths and weaknesses of his personality. Sometimes taking the initiative into your own hands is much better than endless waiting. The time has long passed when only men were the initiators.
• There is no need to interfere with the relations of relatives and friends - the personal problems of a couple are solved only in private, without the participation of other people. Spending time together makes you very close. You can often go to the cinema, to performances, walks, or even better, to find a common hobby.
• small romantic gifts for your companion. Men love signs of attention no less than women, they just do not admit it. Compliments and declarations of love are the key to a warm and lasting relationship.
• It is better to never lead to quarrels and scandals, but if a disagreement does happen, you should try to make up as soon as possible. You just need to come up and hug your loved one, without figuring out who was to blame and who started the quarrel.
• It is worth showing oneself from the economic side, because a man sees in a woman not only an object of adoration, but also a potential wife, mother of future children.

It is important not to forget that any relationship is built on mutual respect and love. A couple who follow this simple truth will be able to avoid many problems and misunderstandings.

There are some general tips that can help you build a strong alliance of people who love each other.

Better not to imagine any young man next to your future husband. Biased questioning about life plans can scare a guy off. Having retreated in front of such a powerful onslaught, he will not have time to discern the girl's sincere intentions. Although in fact she can be sincere, disinterested, caring, and in general, ideally suited to him. You should start with ordinary communication, learn about each other's personal qualities. There is no need to rush, even if it really is destiny. Everything has its time.

A reckless desire to start living together as soon as possible, by all means, can do a disservice. Perhaps, having learned the characteristics of a partner better, a woman will no longer want to live with him. Irritation will quickly be replaced by annoyance. There will be no one to blame for this, except perhaps excessive haste.

Too frequent meetings and calls are also undesirable, especially at the initial stage of a relationship. Such intrusiveness can quickly get bored. Rare but productive meetings a couple of times a week are less tiring and a good way to test how strong your feelings are.

It is best to avoid sudden and drastic changes in the relationship. It is impossible to recognize a person in a short time, which means that it will not be that this is the same companion for life. that overwhelm people at an early stage of a relationship, do not provide an opportunity to adequately evaluate many things. Plus, too rapid a development of events is morally and physically draining. This can be the reason that, quickly burnout, a person will put an end to the relationship.

You should not turn your soul inside out, complaining and showing your weaknesses. Losers are pitied, but not loved. It is much wiser to keep some kind of secret in the relationship. The more negative emotions are dumped on a partner, the less chances there will be for a happy and reliable relationship. You should always strive to focus on positive circumstances.
It is better to avoid petty quarrels, and if sometimes this fails, it is better to take the first step towards reconciliation. It is important not to lie and make it clear that cheating on the part of a man is also unacceptable.

A respectful attitude towards the chosen one should be manifested not only in communication with him, but also in the society of other people. If possible, it is necessary to stop once and for all any attempts to humiliate or offend him. This position not only increases the authority of a woman, but also the authority of her partner. No need to listen to gossips. You should always protect your happiness from outside attempts to destroy it. A sense of mutual support plays an important role in strengthening the alliance. The sexual side of the relationship should also be in last place.

It is better for a woman not to start dating a man burdened with more problems than herself. This is often true in situations of significant age difference. For various reasons, a woman may not be able to cope with solving some difficult life situations, for example, in the case of serious health problems. And if she succeeds, there is no guarantee that the man will appreciate it.

Relationships should not be one-sided; this will only increase misunderstandings. The constant infringement of their interests in favor of a partner will sooner or later lead to a break. Jealousy is a destructive feeling. Being at the initial stage of a relationship, people still do not make serious promises to each other, much less swear eternal fidelity. If a young person is flirting with someone, you can try to do the same. If light flirting is not confirmed by anything serious, there is no reason to worry. Trust always brings a couple closer together.

You should never give up on the dream of a perfect relationship. If a woman learns to go through distrust, she will be able to build a strong, sincere union. The main thing is to always remember about self-esteem.

00:00 5.11.2015

You want to be happy with a man, and this desire is normal. But how to get along with another person? How to find ways to each other and stay with yourself? Psychologists Tatiana Vlasyuk and Doris Castillo Mendoza helped us to understand these issues.

We all read fairy tales in childhood. Oh, what love was there! Cinderella and Prince, Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty and (also) Prince, Vasilisa the Beautiful and Ivan (Fool or Tsarevich - it doesn't matter). Then we grew up a little, reading "Scarlet Sails" until the holes of 13-14 years old, where Assol finally waited for her Gray, the multivolume series "Angelica", "Gone with the Wind", "Singing in the Thorns" ...

We read them, at times, at night with a flashlight under the covers, bursting into tears with delight. And then they dreamed, dreamed, dreamed. Of course, imagining yourself in the place of the main character - but what else ?! At the age of 16-17, they experienced their first love, largely idealized, not always mutual, light. Then - the second, the third ... We left, left us. The ground swayed underfoot, and there were scars on my soul. Then, probably, you said for the first time mentally or aloud the phrase "all men are ...". The synonym is rich and consists entirely of negative epithets.

It hurt every time, but we still fall in love again - that's life. "But the grass will sprout again through all the obstacles and adversities. Love is a spring country, because only in it there is happiness," sang Larisa, the "dowry" in the film "Cruel Romance". But each of us, saying goodbye to another love (always the last), asked herself Tsvetaeva's question: "My dear, what have I done to you ?!"

Let's work on the bugs. It may be hard to believe, but ideal relationships exist. It happens, it can happen to you. It doesn't matter if you are just waiting for him, have already met him or you have been together for a long time.

"An ideal couple is two people, a man and a woman, who, being together, remain themselves. They do not play roles, do not lie and do not manipulate, but appear as they are. And they love this openness and trust in themselves, and in a partner ". Our consultants offer several original techniques and tests that will help you understand yourself and delve into relationships with a loved one.

How to meet the right man

Do you think you first need to lose weight for this? But no! You need to start not with the external attributes of beauty, but with working on yourself.

You - the one and only: realize your own worth. When a woman appreciates herself, it is as if a crown appears on her head. Not arrogance and pride, but the crown of self-love.

It is on your quality of love and respect for yourself that the corresponding person is attracted, who, by his behavior and attitude towards you, shows how you feel about yourself. Therefore, it depends only on you what kind of man will be next to you.

Allow yourself to wish

There is the Law of Pure Desire, which says: "As long as we maintain purity of intention, a positive result is guaranteed. But if we pollute our desire with fear, greed, or the desire to get someone else's, it is unlikely to come true."

There are five qualities in the Law of Pure Desire:

• hope
• inspiration
• faith
• knowing that you deserve the best
• ability to retreat

And a conflict of intentions can prevent your desires from coming true. You want love. But uncertainty and anxiety cool the enthusiasm and provoke feelings of fear and anxiety: "What if I do something stupid again, say something wrong, trust the wrong person? What if I fail again?"

Stop. If you want to attract love into your life, you need absolute faith that you deserve it and everything will be fine. In love, it is the firm belief that you can love and be loved.

Take on board the affirmations: "I am worthy of love and respect", "I can love and be loved", "I deserve to be loved for who I am."

Believe me, no matter what happened in the past, no matter what you thought of yourself before, you deserve love. But! To make your wish come true, give up the attachment to the result. Be happy here and now, not when you meet the right person. It is very important not to dwell on this. Especially when you are 30-35 years old.

In psychology, there is such a concept "panic of the closing gates": you have to give birth to a child, and you have to get married - I’m late! This panic attracts into life something completely alien to you. You cannot allow yourself to despair or fuss, you need to clearly understand what you want and what you deserve. You can't live constantly thinking about how to attract a man. This state repels with the same force as it attracts.

One hundred percent enjoyment

“The most correct state in which a woman needs to be is simply to enjoy life, herself, her mood. After all, according to Gabriel Garcia Márquez, all the most beautiful things happen unexpectedly, when we do not expect it. This is the right state.

Do not pull to yourself with all your mental strength, but enjoy! The same person will come to the woman's enjoyment of herself and life. As soon as you start to devote enough time to yourself, to do what you love, what you like - go to dances, travel, read, listen to music, learn something new, interesting and worthy people appear around you, life gives you gifts and new acquaintances ", - our consultants are sure.

And, you must admit, to stay in such a state does not need large material resources. Start doing what you wanted for a long time, but there was still no time.

"It is important for a woman to learn to be happy alone with herself, of herself, then she will be happy with a man. The mistake we often make is to tie our happiness to a partner or an event that will happen sometime."

The world's reaction to you reflects your inner state.

All men…

I remember a joke: "The biology teacher cried and called pistils like horned artiodactyls." So that's it. Try to permanently exclude phrases (and thoughts) like "all men ..." from the lexicon and further along the negative synonymous row.

"To attract the right partner, you need to understand and respect each of the men around. Learn, looking at someone you meet, to see something good in him, do not condemn the masculine gender as such.

Don't judge, don't neglect, don't blame. Accept!

Enter this state, and a high-level partner will be attracted to you. You will send completely different signals, project yourself in a different way. The result is that a man will take the right place in your life, "says Tatiana.

Let's enjoy the wait

This technique will help you attract the right man into your life. Practice it a couple of times a week. Choose a calm and quiet place in your home, sit or lie down, relax. Take a deep breath in and out several times. Feel the stress and tension sink into the floor beneath your feet. You are warm, calm and serene.

On the next breath, imagine that five years have passed, and you and your loved one are in a pleasant place. Maybe the two of you are at a table in a cozy restaurant, maybe in bed. Stop for a minute and pay attention to what you are doing right now - details.

Are you married? Do you have children? Take a breath and feel the joy of this scene. Your dream has come true. You are close to your soulmate, you love each other. Let this reality fill your heart and mind. Imagine looking into his eyes and remembering what you were up to shortly before you met him.

Now remember the present moment again, leaving this joyful state with you. Remember that by promising yourself to get the best out of every day, you have already connected in your mind with your beloved. As you prepare yourself for his appearance, so he prepares to meet you.

Take the last and deepest breath in, as you exhale, fold your arms at your chest. Open your eyes slowly.

After that, take the time to write down something that you would love to remember with your partner, and promise yourself to start creating that experience right now. There is a chance that the ideas came to your head for a reason ...

Relationships at the start

You met a man. Everything is just beginning for you. Are you plagued by vague doubts? Then read on.

Time magazine, together with CNN, conducted a study. As a result, it turned out that women are more likely than men to reject marriage or close relationships, expecting a meeting with the Ideal Man. And men tend to forgive a woman more if they like her appearance. But we women judge harshly and quickly. Are we winning? In fact, there are no ideal ones in nature. The ideal partner for you is the one with whom you feel as good as possible. And the first sign is when partners are comfortable in any situation. Even to be silent.

I accept you ...

At the initial stage of a relationship, it is important to help yourself, new relationships. How? Agree: “Let's accept each other as we are.

Tell yourself, "I accept my partner as a person."

Hard? Do one more exercise. Divide the sheet of paper in half. On the left, write what annoys you, pisses you off, and on the right - everything that "includes" you, and like, and supports, and inspires you in it.

Look - what is really more. And honestly give an assessment - are you ready to accept this minus, looking at this plus? And what else do you need to work with to make this minus less. After all, as soon as the sock forgotten under the bed stops annoying you, it miraculously evaporates somewhere. A man can change.

Speaking of princes

“Very often, many of those who are waiting for a prince on a white horse overly idealize a man. This attitude is instilled by mothers in their daughters, because girls like fairy tales and movies about ideal relationships. Doris says.

It is important to understand and realize that a man, like a woman, can be different, in some ways ideal, in others not. Allow initially for yourself the possibility of being imperfect. If a woman has a syndrome of ideality, then she is very demanding of herself, she herself tries to be perfect, and wants the same ideal partner. But he may not exist in nature.

"An idealistic woman should relax, enjoy life, allow herself to be manifested in different ways, do not meet the standards.

In the same way, a man - he can be better than the norms that you came up with for him. In order to understand this, you can also sit down and pee. What is my ideal for me? How important are all these points that I have written, for me, critical and principled. Basically - blond with blue eyes? Where there is categorization, there is no longer freedom. Or maybe fate has already prepared a brunette with brown eyes for her? "- adds Tatiana.

By the way, where are your wings?

Is this the man? The answer to this question lies in the realm of intuition.

But. It is not yours if after some time after the beginning of your communication you begin to feel a lack of energy. Inspiration, vital activity disappears, and quarrels, clarifications of relations draw out all vital juices from you. If this is grinding, it's not scary, because in moments of intimacy, when everything is fine, partners fill each other with energy. But if there is no filling, only a constant release, energy leakage, is not your relationship.

On the contrary, if you feel that wings are growing, if they give you compliments, how you look younger, you look great, this is an indicator that your man is next to you.

Together in life

You have been a couple for a long time now, your honeymoon is over. How can two realized people learn to coexist together?

When an accomplished woman meets a self-sufficient man, the question of the compatibility of freedoms arises. Everyone is used to their non-free schedule, to express their opinion, no one wants to obey - how can they find a common language? This is the question!

And I love to look out the window!

The first recommendation for those who are already a couple is, at first glance, simple. You need to sit down and over a cup of tea or coffee, without pretensions or any reproaches, tell each other what you like to do. But it's easier to write lists: what each partner likes and dislikes.

Divide the piece of paper in half. One half is what you like, the other is what you really don’t love, what’s not yours, what you don’t like, what upsets, brings discomfort, what upsets the other half, what makes you sad. A man and a woman write lists, then they are discussed together.

“I love it when you bring me coffee in the morning”, “I love it when you come home from work and say“ Hello, mouse! ”- maximum details!

The couple prescribes the details of their relationship, looking at the last few years of their lives, to the maximum "I love it when you water the flowers", "I love to sit in the kitchen and be silent, looking out the window, when you respect it and do not touch me."

First, we discuss who loves what, then - the second column. “You’ll say that I’m inattentive, it hurts me, I’m upset”, “I don’t like to visit relatives“ for show ”,“ I don’t like to pull your socks out from under the bed ”.

The task is for each of the partners to enter as deeply as possible into a state of introspection, to think slowly, having allocated at least an hour or two for this, to create a suitable atmosphere.

The requirement "I love it, it means that you are doing this to me, otherwise you will be guilty" is unacceptable. The conversation should not proceed in the mainstream of making claims against each other. “You know”, “it turns out”, “it seems to me” - this is a set of phrases. This work is an investment in yourself, in your relationships.

And on Saturdays we have a diplop

"The second technique is family rituals. It is designed to help each other experience more states that they like. We recommend that women take the initiative to organize all this," says Tatiana. "You can arrange a week of some country, a week of state: generosity, gratitude ( a week we thank each other for all the little things) or a week without comments - no matter what my husband does. "

This technique is very helpful in getting to know your partner. It seems to us that if we live together for a long time, then the partner knows what we love and what not, just like we do, by default, and he may not even guess about it!

After all, most people are not telepathic at all! We also recommend going to concerts, to the cinema, going to sports events together, playing "mafia" with friends, running together, cooking dinner - not spontaneously, but on certain days, so that there are things that will later become called family traditions, traditions of a couple, what they only do together.

One of the recommendations is to have some kind of book of funny moments and joint jokes. Some things that amuse both of them. For example, they pulled out a phrase from a movie we watched together, it stuck in my mind - write it down in the book. Or start a game like this: “When we say this phrase, we mean it” - you can play this way, for example, at a party.

In the film "What Men Talk About" - "diplope" - such a dish, one word, one phrase, and how much is behind it! For example, a wife is about to cook something unusual for dinner and calls the dish "diplope". It is exquisite, there is very little of it - hence - a dip flop. Little things like that turn into family jokes.

You can watch films together, pull out phrases from there and apply to situations in family life, phrases that will mean something, dilute everyday life and bring an element of play into it. "We are coming to the end of the month, we will eat a diplop - it is not enough, it is expensive."

And if you touch on sexual relations in a couple, in order to somehow resume them, you can also use the technique of rituals. For example, take a bath with candles and music every Saturday. Or make a silk bed on Saturday, all weekend ...

You touch me with your hand

Another powerful technique for a couple who are together for a long time is to choose a week and only touch, kiss, caress each other - and not have sex. It's called the Sensual Expectation Technique. We take a bath together, wipe each other with a towel, three backs, but no further.

After that, if the couple is really together, the feelings are heightened. There is a feeling of a honeymoon - you are touching each other, as if for the first time. Men like it too, this is a state of foreplay, a kind of expectation. By nature, a man is a conqueror, and he is interested in doing it over and over again.

Rewind the tape

Is there any development in your couple? Rewind the tape back five, ten years. Then you were one, now you are different. This development should reflect on you - on your inner state, on some material values, increasing your positive attitude, improving mutual understanding.

If you have lived a certain amount of time together, and you remember losses, illnesses, problems, conflicts - this is also a marker of how correctly you chose your partner, how harmoniously you developed, and whether you are a couple at all. In fact, development is possible without these negative moments and serious cataclysms. If life sends them, it means that we do not see or understand something.

You can develop more environmentally. Nobody says that it will be calm and even, but nevertheless life together can be a pleasure, with real interest, and not leaps from scandal to reconciliation.

Excessive emotional swing is the first indicator that something is wrong with a couple. Even at the very beginning of a relationship.

There may be a lot of strong love, but if it is too bright, with jealousy, quarrels, this is an alarming signal. "When a person tries to control another, to manipulate him, this is not love, but an artificial attachment to oneself. It is important to understand: as soon as we catch ourselves in a state of jealousy, something is wrong in the relationship," Tatiana is sure.

The more freedom we give our partner, the more ideal we are for each other. There is no need to be afraid to internally let go of a loved one and allow him to act according to his choice. It's so nice to know that this person wants to be with you according to his own sincere and free desire, and not because he is being held by the throat.

If a man pays attention to you, makes some gifts not because "it is necessary", for show, but because he just wants to please you, appreciate and take care of this attitude.

“A man wants to take him there - let's go. He offers something - we agree. Follow him! You don't need to say that it's expensive, and“ I don’t like football at all and I don’t understand it. ”If there is an impulse, it should not be stopped . The following may not be. Taking the initiative of another person, you can build an ideal relationship, "- said Doris.

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