What is the difference between true friendship and companionship. How to tell a friend from a friend? What is the main thing in friendship

What is the difference between true friendship and companionship? Friendship should be for centuries, it cannot be destroyed by a careless word or a stupid situation. She is able to survive time, all troubles and problems, she is persistent and unbending. And it is very important to create just such a relationship in order to know that you can rely on someone, there is support. Another thing is friendly relations - they are superficial, crumbling from one breath of sadness, in such a relationship there will never be complete trust or a feeling of kinship. It is only a relationship for a short period of time, created by a certain environment or other temporary circumstances.

For example, Pechorin and Werner in the work of Mikhail Yuryevich Lermontov "A Hero of Our Time". In reality, they were not friends, since, according to Pechorin, the protagonist was not capable of friendship.

Only friends who discussed recent events reflected on the behavior of other people and nothing more. Just a pleasant pastime, but nothing more. So they parted imperceptibly when their paths parted.

In this way, true friendship has no time limit and does not depend on the circumstances. The same cannot be said about friendly relations.

Updated: 2017-11-19

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Incredible facts

Best friends have a special place in our lives.

They don't get the title of "best" from scratch.

This prize is won by them after a lot of joy, effort, hardship, communication and love.

Your best friend, on the other hand, will defend your honor to the end, because he knows the value of loyalty.

7. Friends can be your supporters, but your best friend is the one who will always be there.

If you suddenly find your dream job, buddies can alert you to the competition you will face while competing for a job.

Your best friend may also tell you this, however, he will be the person who will cheer you up. He will definitely emphasize all the qualities, skills and experience that you can get in a new place.

8. Friends are just joking, and best friends remember all the funny episodes with you

Your best friend remembers all your jokes, and can fetch them from memory at the first opportunity. Friends most often have difficulty remembering small episodes, and often do not even remember them.

9. Friends can help you, but your best friend is in touch 24/7

You may be ashamed to call a friend at 2 a.m. if you are very unwell, but your best friend will surely help you with advice.

Difference between friend and buddy

10. Friends often don't know how to keep secrets, best friends know how

Often when you ask your friends not to talk about something, this does not happen, but with your best friend you are always sure that your secret is safe.

11. Friends will rarely tell you about your mistakes, best friends do it much more often.

Each of us makes mistakes in relationships, at work, and in family matters. Friends will rarely agree to try on your problems, but your best friend will always tell you what went wrong and where, and will also help you avoid repeating the mistake.

12. Friends are always ready not to remain in debt, the best friend does not think about the benefits

Be it material goods or services, a friend is always ready to pay and expects the same from you. This scheme does not work with best friends, no one invoices anyone.

13. Friends do not understand all the intricacies of your personal life, best friends understand very well

Your buddies are not willing to put the time and effort into you, so you often feel not confident enough to give your buddy all the details. The best friend is a great listener, he remembers all the details: both bad and good.

14. Friends are strict about time, best friends are more flexible in this sense.

Of course, punctuality is an important trait, but your friends can often react very harshly to you being 20 minutes late. Your best friend is relaxed and will find something to do with his time while waiting for you.

Friend, comrade or buddy?

15. Friends are wary of your obsessions, best friends accept

We all have obsessions. You should be careful with your friends because they may find you strange and out of line with any of their notions of normalcy. Best friends just laugh it off when they hear each other's obsessions.

16. Friends don't really like it when they hear the same thing from you, best friends like repeating stories.

Old stories, anecdotes, some small funny stories ... We think about all this when we communicate with friends, and often think over the conversation carefully, because we are afraid to repeat ourselves.

What is the difference in communication acquaintances, friendships, friendships, close and loving relationships people with each other?

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I wish you mental health!

Relationships of acquaintance, friendship, friendship, intimacy and love - differences

Dating relationship - acquaintances

The relationships of acquaintances are based on ritual, memorized and habitual communication. Such human relationships are superficial (hat acquaintance) and, usually, are limited to a short greeting and questions about well-being and affairs, to which a monosyllabic answer is expected.

Familiar people, as a rule, have nothing in common: no business, no interests, no hobbies, no problems.

Under certain conditions, they can continue and develop into friendships.

Friendly relationship. Friends.

Friendly relationships, although they do not include concern for each other's well-being, and do not take on the responsibility of being around in difficult times, still have some degree of trust and affection.

Friends can have common interests, affairs and hobbies, they can solve common problems. They can, upon request, help each other, give advice, criticize and impose help.

In a friendly relationship, there can be mutually agreed and non-binding sex.

Under certain conditions, buddies can become friends, or even close ones.

Friendship Friendship, friends

Friendly relations are characterized, first of all, by a high level of trust and sincerity, some concern for each other's well-being and mutual assistance if necessary.

In friendships, there can be no sex, negative criticism and compulsive help. (The last two criteria show why a critical or over-caring mother cannot become a friend.)

Friendship can turn into intimacy.

Close relations. Proximity (intimacy)

A close relationship is complete trust and sincerity, without hidden expectations, dirty tricks and exploitation of each other. In proximity, people can understand each other with a minimum of words, openly using their feelings, thoughts; talking about their desires and needs.

In close relationships, people open up to each other without fear and fear, without asking anything in return, just enjoying the conversation and their partner.

True, healthy pleasure from sex can only be in a close relationship between two people.

People who are in proximity are easily distinguished from others. They can look directly into each other's eyes and talk directly about their problems and secrets.

An integral feature of intimacy is freedom in communication with a loved one from the prohibitions of upbringing and adult requirements of reality.
It's like a mother-baby relationship. In a relationship of intimacy, people can see, hear, taste, feel, and experience things as they did when they were young children, without the teaching put into their heads.

Love relationship. Love

True love and loving relationships are markedly different from all other types of human relationships.
The main thing is in a love relationship, when love rules the ball, and the well-being and happiness of another person, your beloved or beloved, is at the forefront.

Love, the most complete and grateful attitude of all, and it includes all the best from other human relationships: from acquaintance, friendship, friendship and intimacy; it all comes together with the addition of her own grace and charm.

In a loving relationship, falling in love, a person becomes like a primitive child. He, as with intimacy, sees everything as it really is, but plus to everything, he adds his own aura, decorating this love relationship.

Love is good only when it is mutual, otherwise, one-sided love brings not happiness, but suffering.

Love is a sweet trap that no one leaves without tears.

However, it should be remembered that if all the listed components of love are absent, then it can only be neurotic attachment, and not true love.

Read online The Science of Love (How to Build Love Relationships for Many Years)

The degree of candor and topics for communication between friends can vary. Common to any (close and not so) warm relationship will be the reciprocity of expectations and feelings.

He did not turn out to be there in difficult times, did not support when it was necessary, did not justify trust and hopes ... If something like this happened between us, the one whom we considered a friend becomes a traitor. And frustration can be very painful. But the friend was clearly counting on a different relationship.

“Friendship is built on an implicit agreement that it should be of mutual benefit or pleasure,” writes philosopher Helge Svare. "When one of the parties feels that this agreement is not being fulfilled, it is frustrated."

And yet: did we treat the other incorrectly, considered him a friend, "and he suddenly turned out to be ...", or, perhaps, the other was not going to be what he seemed to us? “The idea that there are real friends who will never fail, and false ones who skillfully hide their true essence is based on our fantasies,” the philosopher believes. - And therefore one-sided and infantile. We are all flawed, which means we can disappoint others. "

Therefore, before condemning, it is worth asking yourself a few questions. How often did a friend not meet my expectations? Are there circumstances that might explain his behavior? Am I expecting too much from him? Am I sure that I always behave impeccably towards him? Such a conversation with oneself will allow one to realize one's part of the responsibility - after all, two people always "build" a relationship.

It is important to understand how easily we can call an acquaintance a friend. Maybe we're just ... in a hurry? It takes time to get to know each other, learn to accept positive and negative in another, quarrel with him and put up with disappointments, without ceasing to be friends.

“It should not be forgotten, however, that there are several degrees of intimacy,” recalls sociologist Jen Yager. A friend can be the one with whom we sometimes meet to drink coffee together, and the one whom we see every day. With some friends we discuss books, films, performances, and with others we share the most intimate.

Jen Yager has been researching friendships for nearly thirty years. She believes that different types of friendship differ in the degree of intimacy (buddies, close friends or best friends), and offers her analysis of the conscious and unconscious bonds that determine the relationship.

Buddy

“Friendship is a common type of relationship for many busy men and women who prefer to spend their free time with their family and not waste their energy on friends,” explains Jen Yager. A friend is more than just an acquaintance, but less than a close friend: there is less intimacy and trust in such a relationship.

A friend can also be called a "good acquaintance" with whom it is good to spend time, relax, play sports, go to the cinema or to exhibitions, discuss work matters ... You can be friends with him alone or join him in the company of other friends. As a rule, friendships develop quickly, friends are united by similar views and common interests.

We have a right to expect: benevolence, reciprocal assistance in simple matters, positive attitude (approval of their decisions and actions).

: over time, interests diverge more and more, moving or moving to another job, gossip, intrigue, withholding information, lack of reciprocity in providing assistance.

Close friend

Caring, sincere, reliable, honest, sincere ... “It is with close friends that special relationships develop that satisfy intellectual and emotional needs and complement family and romantic relationships,” says Jen Yager.

At the same time, a close friend does not claim an exclusive place in our life and does not conflict with other important relationships for us. There may be several close friends, and not all of them (another difference) may know about some events from our past. We may not be as honest with them as we are with our best friend. But it is with them that we will share both the joyful and difficult moments of our life. Close friends tend to become mutual friends of the couple.

We have a right to expect: tact, sincerity, generosity, benevolence, help and support.

Reasons for distance or rupture: asymmetry in relationships (one begins to give more than the other), a growing difference over time in views, values ​​and lifestyle, the emergence of jealousy or rivalry.

Best friend

This is a friend in the full sense of the word. "He personifies the ancient ideas of what a friend should be, and fully corresponds to the dreams of an ideal partner who is always there and for whom we are always in the first place," says Jen Yager.

Friendship with him has passed not only the test of time, but also withstood all the tests, from the insignificant to the most important: a change in social status, marriage, the birth of children ... It is based on a deep conviction (confirmed by facts) that we are loved and appreciated for being there is. From this the key "ingredient" of our relationship is born: exclusivity, uniqueness.

With your best friend, you don't have to show your best side. He is to us the same as a kindred spirit in love. What are the qualities that hold true friendship together? Indifference (loyalty to a friend and friendship), sincerity (willingness to open up and share feelings and experiences with others), trust (confidence that we will not be betrayed), honesty (openness in discussing relationships) and common interests (we have common values, but we are easy accept the features of the other).

We have a right to expect: loyalty, "exclusivity" of relationships, frankness, dedication.

Reasons for distance or rupture: betrayal (your shared secret became known to outsiders, a friend "took away" your partner), serious disappointment associated with an important moment in life (attitude to marriage, death, birth, illness ...) that you cannot forgive.

False friend

He does not poison life, as a manipulator or a self-serving friend does, he even behaves sincerely and good-naturedly in communication, but violates (rather unconsciously) the golden rule of friendship: reciprocity and reciprocity. In friendship, such a person is changeable and egocentric.

Jen Yager distinguishes among false friends “friends in happiness” and “friends in misfortune”. The first ones are friends with you only when everything is fine with you, and as soon as problems begin, they try to disappear. However, they do not hesitate to complain and call for help if they need it. This tactic is especially noticeable in conversations: they talk about their own problems three times longer than they listen to about yours.

Friends in misfortune, on the contrary, feed on other people's problems, because the position of the "vest" and the savior is both beneficial and pleasant and also increases self-esteem. For such people, someone else's suffering is the best antidepressant, a guarantee of good health.

Reasons for distance or rupture: Awareness that the “friend” does not empathize with or support us in our difficulties, or even gloats when we are in trouble or suffering.

"We are connected by lived experience"

Irina, 43 years old, artist, restorer

The younger brother of one of them introduced me to the guys. They were all three or four years older than me, but then the difference seemed significant. They were a company, and I was a timid, bystander. I admired their ability to speak interestingly, their erudition and cheerfulness. Communication quickly grew into friendship.

The first close relationship arose with Natasha. We decided to go to her village, jumped on the train without tickets and ended up in a restaurant car, from which it was already impossible to get out. That trip became a real Scheherazade night: so that we could safely reach our station, Natasha endlessly told our fellow travelers stories, real and fictional, and I inspired her to do this ... In the morning, getting off the train, we collapsed into a haystack and slept there all day. After that, I realized that we are connected forever by this shared experience.

Probably, our company looks like a necklace with large and small beads. We are all different. Someone sets the tone, poetic, intellectual, a little philosophical, someone provokes, sharpens the discussions. There are those who, by their presence, create lightness, benevolence, warmth. Man is spirit and flesh. When we meet, everything that touches the spirit begins to pulsate and live. And in ordinary life, everyone runs, takes care of children, works. When we meet, we do not discuss all this, but as if we are floating above.

"Those with whom he breathed the same air, no one can replace"

Ekaterina, 46, Russian language teacher

Irina with her husband Ivan

With Igor and Vanya, we went to the same school. They knew each other from the age of seven, I joined them at 16, and at 20 Vanya became my husband. Igor is a real poet. At school, we gathered at his home and listened to his poems. Igor is a lover of classical music, he had a collection of gramophone records, and we listened to concerts and symphonies of Beethoven, Mahler, Wagner. Sometimes he would stop the music and share his comments with us, hum and conduct.

With a large group of classmates, we went hiking on bicycles to summer cottages in early spring, skipping lessons. Then Igor entered the Literary Institute, Vanya went to the medical one, and I went to the philology department at Moscow State University. At the university on the very first day I met Natasha, she joined my company of classmates quite naturally, as if she had studied with us in the same class all her life.

We met and became friends with her friends: Maxim, Anya ... Often we all gathered together with Vanya - in a small but separate apartment. We played charades. A lot of them were delivered over the years, the most memorable word was "pacification": it was divided like this - "died of jam." They sang a lot with guitar or a cappella.

We also traveled. All together went to Kozyukas to Vilnius, to Georgia, to the homeland of Father Igor, to Western Ukraine - on folklore expeditions. We lived together, a common life, common joys. We went to church. How joyful it was to stand and pray all together, to rejoice in God. We fasted together, broke the fast together.

And in 1994 I entered the graduate school at Yale University in the USA at the Slavic department. And we left for America. Three of our children were born here. And here we stayed to live. Every summer, except for the last two, we come to Moscow. I try to show children what Moscow is.

We have been in America for 20 years. I have many close friends here. And a bunch of friends. But no one will ever replace that closeness in spirit, that friendliness, that depth that is felt in our company. I talk to Natasha every week, and not a single more or less important matter remains without discussion.

In Moscow, we usually live together for several days in order to enjoy uninterrupted communication and discuss everything that has accumulated. I really miss all my Moscow friends. And if you ask me if I would like to return to Moscow, I would say - yes, tomorrow! To be close to family and friends. With those with whom in his youth he walked the same streets, with whom he breathed the same air, with whom he spent the happy days of his youth, with whom he grew up and became older - no one can replace them.

Now we meet very gray and shabby, aged and tired. But it's amazing that none of us has changed in spirit. For some reason we remained all the same young at heart, laughing, laughing, singing and reading, going to church and traveling.

"Silence means as much to us as words"

Igor, 47 years old, philosopher, writer

Friendship, like any other human relationship, goes through different stages. The beginning of friendship is a hot stage, when friends are in constant interchange and mutual enrichment, they have a great need to communicate, to conduct a dialogue, which, like two rivers running alongside, then merge into a single stream ...

But, as a rule, it cannot go on like this all the time. And then the question arises: what is friendship - cooperation, community of spiritual interests, as in the relationship between Freud and Jung? Or mutual understanding, mutual understanding at the level of simple things, trust and a sense of reliability. That is, in other words, creativity or barbecue and wine?

When Maxim and I were about thirty years old, we were united by important common interests related to psychology, we spent time in philosophical conversations, apparently, we needed to live at the same time that was important for both.

By the way, it often happens that this is precisely why friendship is due: at a certain stage of life, people meet with approximately the same life questions. And they try to talk and think about it together. But such intersections cannot last forever. Sometimes this develops into professional interest, cooperation, where, sooner or later, ideological rivalry arises. Or, after the hot stage of the relationship, there is cooling, even disappointment.

But if you treat it without maximalism, do not abandon the relationship, it will be replaced by a pleasant maturity - friendship, which, in the final analysis, is wine and barbecue. When people can just be around with pleasure and silence means no less than words. This is just such a mutual understanding, reliability, trust - something that can remain for a long time, maybe for a lifetime.

In their youth, people come up with more kinds of entertainment, more opportunities, which you can then return to, remember for a long time. The gradually welded long-term company becomes such a team where the parties are scheduled in advance. Such a distribution can set the teeth on edge, we already know what to expect from whom, but on the other hand, you can treat it as a tradition and get high. To enjoy the performance of all the usual roles - and it will be a perfectly played part.

Of course, when people have a lively mind and character, then with age such roles are enriched, but they cannot change completely. If this happens, most likely, it will cause surprise and concern of the entire team - something happened to the person, he became different, how to help him? Although, sadly, perhaps he just finally became himself.

Verified final essay on "Friend and Friend - What's the Difference?" in the direction of "Friendship and enmity".

Introduction (introduction):

"Don't have a hundred rubles, but have a hundred friends," says a Russian proverb (not related to this topic, it seems that the proverb was written so that there were more words). A huge number of people are present in a person's life: they are enemies, and friends, and friends. But what is the difference between true friendship and friendship? Thesis: In my opinion, a friend is a person who comes and goes. You can help each other, have common interests, sympathy, but at the decisive moment it is a friend who will come to the rescue - a time-tested person, on whom you can confidently rely.

TO Commentary: not the best start for an essay on this topic, BUT !!! The topic is covered, the thesis is there and it is designed very well)

Argument 1:

In Russian classical literature, there are many examples of true friendship and friendly sympathy. For example, in Leo Tolstoy's epic novel War and Peace, the relationship between Andrei Bolkonsky and Pierre Bezukhov is an example of true friendship. They do not need the money of another, do not put an emphasis on authority. The heroes value each other's inner qualities. Bolkonsky - the kindness and wisdom of Pierre. Pierre - the intelligence and fairness of Bolkonsky's decisions. Heroes repeatedly help each other in difficult situations: some with advice, some with action. The line of their friendship runs through the whole novel, until the death of Bolkonsky, after which Pierre still treats the hero's son with the same love.

A comment: the author of the essay went in the right direction, but touched on the main problem too superficially. It is important to describe in detail some case when a person really helped his friend in a difficult moment, no matter what.

The proportions of the composition are slightly violated: the main part in volume should be three times larger than the introduction.

Argument 2:

We find the opposite example in the novel by A.S. Pushkin's "Eugene Onegin". The narrator described the relationship between Onegin and Lensky as "there is nothing to do with friends." The heroes communicate almost daily, personal topics also flicker in the conversation, but Onegin does not hesitate to poke fun at the feelings of the romantic Lensky, and as a result - puts his reputation above their "friendship", kills a friend in a duel.

A comment: again too small an argument.

Moreover, this argument does not quite fit the topic. "At the decisive moment, it is a friend who will come to the rescue ..." the author wrote in the introductory part. That is, in order for the argument to be consistent with the topic, you need to either write about how a friend came to the rescue, or, conversely, describe a situation in which a person refused help or "disappeared" in a difficult situation because he was just a friend. (for example, "Love of Life" by Jack London, where Bill left the main character with an injured leg alone, alone with the wild)

Argument 3:

It is impossible not to mention the "lyceum brotherhood" of the Tsarskoye Selo lyceum, among which was A.S. Pushkin, I.I. Pushchin, V.K. Küchelbecker and many others. No matter how hard life was for them, memories of the Lyceum days always served as a voice of consolation:

Gives the same consolation

May he illuminate the confinement,

A ray of clear lyceum days!

• Pushkin wrote in verses to Pushchin (poem "To II Pushchin"), sent to distant Siberian mines ... Here you can observe true friendship. Lyceum students from the "brotherhood" tried to maintain relationships and help each other until the end of their days.