How to deal with a home tyrant: advice from a psychologist. What to do if the husband is a tyrant Is it possible to carry a child with a tyrant husband

Good afternoon, dear readers! Today I would like to talk to you about how to behave with your tyrant husband. Such relationships greatly spoil women's self-esteem, negatively affect the psychological state, and, in addition, can lead to serious physical injury. How to recognize a tyrant in your husband and what to do to get out of his chains?

How to recognize a tyrant

It happens that a girl meets a pleasant, kind and sweet young man. Everything in the relationship is good, they are playing a wedding, and after a while the nightmare begins. The man turns into a real tyrant and despot.

What are the characteristics of a tyrant man?

The first thing to pay attention to is the desire to control your life completely and completely. Such men try to make their woman dependent and helpless. Financially, emotionally, physically.

Tyrants control all the actions of their faithful, do not allow access to finances and do not allow them to freely dispose of money, track calls, meetings, trips. Control can go to the point that a woman is not allowed to work, meet with friends or relatives, or leave the house.

It is possible and necessary to fight the tyrant. The main way is to show that you are not afraid, you are stronger, you are confident in yourself, you have another life without him. How can this be done?

To change yourself

The fight against a tyrant is not about changing his behavior or character, but about changing yourself. To begin with, I recommend that you familiarize yourself with the articles "" and "". It is in your power to become stronger and suppress the oppression of your tyrant husband.

Get financial independence. Find a job that will allow you to support yourself, thus, you will become independent of him in terms of money, and this already allows you to find another apartment and move away from him.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. Truth and law are on your side. You can always contact the law enforcement agencies. Also, don't forget about your friends and family. Be sure to tell them all the details of your spouse's bullying.

It will be much easier for you to deal with this situation together. If it so happens that you have no one to turn to for help, then you can always come to specialized psychological support centers. They can provide housing and help to get on their feet with work.

Sometimes a tyrant husband gets his wife out even after a divorce. Don't let it happen. Be stronger, don't fall for his manipulations, don't be afraid or take his threats seriously. Usually such people talk more than they actually do.

The despot humiliates his family, and in a situation of real danger he simply runs away, because an insecure coward lives inside him.

Of course, the choice is entirely up to you. Continue living with such a person, succumbing to his manipulations, living in fear for yourself and your children. Or fight back, get a divorce, leave him and start an independent life.

Share your story with us. Perhaps together we will find a suitable solution for you. Tell us how the tyranny of your husband is manifested, what he forbids you, how he takes out his anger on you. What steps have you already taken to combat it?

Remember that your main enemy is fear of your spouse. I am sure that you will succeed and you will be happy!

How to live with a tyrant husband

Every woman dreams of creating a strong family in which love and mutual understanding reign. It is this goal that every woman pursues, she is the main goal in life, whether a woman realizes it or not. Some women disagree that starting a family is their main purpose - very often they put a successful career at the top of the list of goals. Of course, with a high degree of probability it can be argued that such a point of view of women is caused by a deliberate departure from their main goal (creating a family) as a result of unsuccessful attempts to achieve this goal. If a woman once married unsuccessfully, and this left a serious imprint on her heart, then, fearing once again “getting burned,” she will replace the goal of creating a strong family with other, less important goals (for example, a career). However, after years, every woman returns to her main goal and achieves it in any possible way, because a woman is not able to live without a family. Do not think anything bad, dear women, this is not an attempt to belittle your independence. Of course, there are many examples in life of how women achieved success in life, never even once without starting a family, but only if they needed these successes later, if there was no real female happiness.

And now a woman, who has decided to create a strong, prosperous family, goes in search of a person with whom this family is supposed to be created. She, as a rule, is not in a hurry with her choice, carefully looking at all the qualities of the chosen one, what kind of family man he is, how he treats her, whether she pays attention to her, how she behaves in society with her. When a woman is convinced that she wants a relationship with this particular man, she gets to know her parents, which also affects the woman's choice (and how else, because for most men, the family is sacred). If the family accepts the beloved of their son “with a bang,” the woman is even more convinced that next to her is the very person with whom she wants to create a family, with whom she wants to raise children and accept all the joys and bitterness of life. At the same time, the woman is sure that the man next to her is ideal: loving, caring, affectionate and gentle, very attentive and sensitive - well, what else is needed for happiness? As it is sung in the song: "Woman's happiness - would be nice next, but nothing else is needed." And the woman is absolutely sure that the man will forever remain as cool as he is now. And then together they will decide - stop just being in love, it's time to move on to the next stage of relationships - to family life.

The wedding fanfare will play, the last glasses of champagne will be emptied, the spouses will take an oath of love and fidelity to each other, and now a new unit of society called “strong family” will begin to exist. "How wonderful, these are the names of the life I wanted!" - the woman will think. In the future, the family will have a child, for a couple of years the spouses will not be able to stop looking at each other, the courtship stage will continue, but one day everything will turn upside down. A woman will increasingly begin to notice the cold attitude of her husband towards her. He will stop helping her with household chores, will stop spending time with her, justifying himself either by having important things to do at work, or will not consider it necessary to explain anything at all: “This is my life, as I want it, I live it.” And where will all the beautiful days that made a woman very happy go to….

Of course, all this will not begin to happen immediately, but somewhere in a couple of years after the marriage. Many psychologists are of the opinion that love lasts for three years, and the experience of many couples proves the truth of this judgment. But if, after three years, family life, love will certainly pass, then maybe you shouldn't create a family at all? Definitely worth it. It's just that not everyone understands that it is not love that passes, but romantic love. At the heart of romantic love are feelings, a desire by all means to make a loved one happy here and now, to show all your care. In family life, after a couple of years, romantic love passes, and it is replaced by family love based on respect. Unlike romantic love, passion in family love is manifested much less often, but two people who are united by family love will never sacrifice the interests of their half for the interests of other people, will not betray or leave in a difficult situation. Respect is an essential part of family life. Therefore, dear ladies, if you feel that your spouse has lost interest in you, this is not at all a reason to file for divorce, and certainly not a signal to attempts to return your spouse's romantic relationship to you. You just need to talk to your spouse honestly, not hiding anything, with maximum frankness. Sometimes an ordinary conversation between two people united by family ties can dispel a thousand conjectures and solve many problems.

However, a heart-to-heart conversation presupposes one important condition - the desire of your spouse to hear you, to understand what you want to say and what is important to you at the moment. But the conversation will not give results in situations where the spouse begins to show absolute disrespect for the spouse, not put her interests at all, constantly criticize all her actions. In these situations, it's not that romantic, and it's time to think about the loss of family love. Sometimes the spouse loses so much interest in the spouse that he turns into a real tyrant. Very often, women are subjected to violence from a male tyrant, both mental and physical. But what about women, immediately collect their own things and run away from their tyrant husband to hell? Whatever it is. A lot of women not only stay with their tyrant husbands, enduring endless humiliation and beatings until old age, but also naively try to change their husbands for the better.

What makes women keep families ruled by tyrant husbands? There are two main reasons:

1. Children. Of course, the maternal instinct is a terrible force that can suppress the will of a woman and force her to submit to the breadwinner of the family. When a woman has a small child in her arms, she completely forgets about her own interests, and the well-being and full life of the child comes to the fore.

Most women go on maternity leave, and therefore all responsibility for maintaining the family falls on the husband. And then the tyrant husband recalls the expression: “He who pays calls the tune,” starting to take the reins of the family into his own hands, husband's work - and for her husband. Often, a tyrant husband in the morning makes a list of things that a spouse is obliged to do before his arrival (it does not matter at all how she feels), and if the list of things is not fulfilled, the tyrant husband throws a tantrum, often accompanied by assault. And the spouse suffers - after all, if she leaves the tyrant, then who will take care of the child?

The spouse is trying to somehow change the prevailing atmosphere of tyranny - she adjusts to her spouse, fulfills all his instructions, and takes care of him. Do you think the tyrant husband is becoming more empathetic towards his wife? Whatever it is. Contrary to all logic, tyranny not only does not end, but also intensifies. Each time a tyrant husband has new reasons for his wife's tyranny. And then the tyrant husband begins to apply various sanctions to his wife. At first, he forbids his wife to communicate with her friends, then he locks her in four walls, after that he takes her phone from her, and demands a full report on the day when and where the wife went. And although the tyrant husband has no right to this, he restricts the freedom of his wife as much as possible. But for the sake of the children, the spouse decides to continue to endure humiliation, making a serious mistake. What will she get in the end? The tyrant husband will one day, for no reason, raise his hand against her. And then, if the spouse tolerates this, very soon beatings will become practically a ritual in the family.

2. Former memories. This is another reason why many women tolerate the antics of a tyrant husband. "But he was not like this before - he was loving and affectionate!" - a favorite phrase of many women who have suffered at the hands of a tyrant husband. We humans very often hold on to old memories - this is a fact. Of course, sometimes it's great to return to the old days, when life seemed carefree and the loved one was perfect. But in the case of a tyrant husband, immersion in past memories is a very dangerous thing, because, of course, the person you once fell in love with will give your current tyrant husband a colossal head start, but ... this person is no more! You should understand that he has disappeared irrevocably, and you will not have to live with him, but with your spouse, who every now and then shows you dissatisfaction with your appearance, your environment and way of life. Therefore, you need to give yourself an answer to the question: "Am I ready to continue to live with this person who does not respect me, beats and infringes on all my rights?" The experience of many women who have suffered at the hands of a tyrant will tell you the only correct answer.

Now that we have figured out the reasons that induce women to endure family tyranny, we will consider, in fact, what types of tyranny exists:

1. Economic tyranny. The most common of all types of tyranny. The tyrant spouse completely controls the family budget, not giving the spouse any right to dispose of it. Therefore, the spouse is forced to literally beg for money from the tyrant for every purchase, down to the smallest detail for travel in public transport.

“But the spouse can go to work, earn money and dispose of it as she wants!” - you say. Yes, but even here the tyrant husband has foreseen everything. There are two options for the tyrant's behavior model in this situation:

A) he completely forbids his wife to get a job under any pretext, so that the spouse does not have personal funds and continues to be completely controlled by the tyrant;

B) the tyrant takes all the money she earned from his wife, without giving any right to dispose of them.

Over time, the spouse completely loses the will to change anything, and obeys the will of the tyrant spouse.

2. Psycho-emotional tyranny. This type of tyranny presupposes an absolute disregard for the wife's opinion on any issues related to the family, imposing on the wife his own opinion as the only true one, complete disregard for the interests and desires of the wife. The spouse begins to exercise total control over the actions of the spouse - where to go, what to wear, what to do from this moment of time. He begins to look for every, sometimes reaching the point of absurdity, an excuse for his wife's disobedience to his opinion. All the same, the wife's questions about why she should do everything as he wants, the answer is unequivocal: “Because I said so!”. Whenever the tyrant feels the disobedience of his wife, he attacks her with harsh criticism, accusations and abuse.

3. Sexual tyranny. It is a natural continuation of psycho-emotional tyranny, moving into a more intimate part of the relationship between spouses. With this type of tyranny, the tyrant spouse absolutely does not take into account the interests of the spouse while having sex with her. The tyrant does everything as he wants, completely without thinking that next to him is a living person who also has feelings. At the end of intercourse, the spouse invariably feels used, feels terrible mental pain and resentment from such an attitude towards himself.

4. Physical tyranny. This tyranny, as a rule, is applied by a tyrant spouse in cases where none of the above types of tyranny has had a result. Therefore, in order to subordinate the spouse to his own will, the tyrant uses his fists. At the same time, from time to time the beatings become more severe, and the mental and physical wounds - deeper and deeper. Alas, in the case of physical tyranny, nothing can be changed - the relationship has died irrevocably, and if a woman has at least a little bit of self-esteem left, she must leave the tyrant, otherwise it will certainly only get worse.

The ideal option seems to be not only the departure of a woman from the tyrant, but also her appeal to the law enforcement agencies in order to punish the despot. However, frightened women, as a rule, gripped by fear for their health and the health of their loved ones, do not take any action in this direction. Therefore, in most cases, all actions get away with the tyrant spouse.

Thus, now you and I know the main types of tyranny followed by tyrannical husbands, which means that we will be able to identify the basic rules that will help defend against tyranny.

Rule 1. Do not try to remake the tyrant. Tyranny is in the blood of many men, therefore, having applied tyranny to a spouse once, and not meeting proper resistance, the spouse will use it again, only with greater force. Any attempts by the spouse to remake the tyrant or convince him of anything is a waste of time and effort. Do not waste your time on this, but rather read rule number 2.

Rule 2. Do not let the tyrant get away with the slightest display of disrespect for you. The propensity for physical strength should also be nipped in the bud by you. Remember that you are a person worthy of respect, and no one ever has the right to infringe on your freedom. You do not have to put up with the intolerable nature of the tyrant, accepting his point of view as the only correct one. Tyrant husbands do not understand beliefs and normal human language. Remember that every insult you significantly lowers your self-esteem, negatively affects the psyche.

Therefore, the next time your spouse begins to apply tyranny towards you, answer him. Answer, no matter how difficult it is for you to do it. If you do not know how to defend your rights, if you are a timid and quiet woman, you will have to learn to be strong and confident, otherwise the tyranny of your spouse will kill the remnants of pride in you.

But what to do if, in response to the tyranny of your spouse, you verbally answered him in a harsh form, and he continues to humiliate you, scolding you with “the last words”. There is only one way out - give him a slap in the face. If he doesn't understand, give one more, only stronger. I understand that many of you find it difficult to do this, but if at the moment of the highest irritation of your despot spouse you do not destroy his anger with a slap in the face, then he can easily destroy your whole life.

Of course, many of you will ask a quite reasonable question: “What to do if, in response to a slap in the face, the spouse himself uses assault?”. Run to file for divorce. Seriously. Think soberly - no man who hit a woman (no matter what state he was in) is worthy of respect. If he managed to hit you once, he will do it again and again. Do you need it? But even if you do not dare to hit the tyrant, be sure that as a result of one of the tyrannies your spouse will still raise his hand to you, only then it will be too late to change something.

There is another variant of the development of events, more favorable for everyone - after the slap you inflicted on the face, the spouse will calm down and will be under the influence of shock (but of course, he expected everything, just not resistance from you). After that, he realizes that you cannot be behaved in this way, and will reckon with your opinion, without resorting to tyranny.

3. Never go with the tyrant on the occasion and do not break ties with relatives, because it is the relatives who will provide you with invaluable help, they will be able to listen to you and understand like no one else. In addition, if you have a child and after another attack of tyranny from your spouse you will not stand it and leave home, you can turn to your relatives for support and live with them.

4. Always keep a social hotline and helpline close at hand. Whatever one may say, women are weak and emotional creatures, and after humiliation from a tyrant husband, they may not control their emotions, causing themselves harm. At this moment, you can always call the helpline and get quick psychological help.

And finally, if the attacks of the tyrant's husband have become a daily tradition in your family, think about whether you need such a family? It is much better to put an end to a relationship with a tyrant once and for all than to endure his antics all his life. Respect yourself and do not infringe on your own rights.

Good day everyone! With you Sasha Bogdanova ... and today I would like to talk with you about "special" men! And they would be like this, if there were not millions of them in the world ...

There are such men, next to whom, life can be a real test for a woman. For those around him, he is quite so sweet, pleasant, and only those close to him know that in fact he is a despot - a real home tyrant.

I will say right away that you will never succeed in remaking your husband - a tyrant! Any attempts to convey to him that he somehow treats you like that will be nipped in the bud. Because for himself "he is always right", he knows everything and does everything better than you.

In the best case, he will simply tell you “you idiot, you don’t understand anything! I'm trying stupid for you! "

Those. all his nit-picking and tyrannical actions in relation to you, he will cover up with care. Allegedly, you are doing everything wrong, but he is so smart he will teach you how to live right. They say everything is for the good.

And he never admits that he is wrong! And even more so neither you nor yourself admit that he is not healthy - mentally ill.

Moreover, most likely he will also turn everything upside down so that you will begin to consider yourself a psychopath, and not him, so that yours falls to zero, and this is the goal of your “precious” hubby.

After all, the less confident you are in yourself, in your strengths and abilities, the more you are attached to him. He will do everything to convince you that such a stupid woman is not needed by anyone except him and that you should be grateful to him that he is busy with you.

Should the relationship be maintained?

Day after day torturing you with his supposedly vital "necessary" moral teachings for you, he will drive you to madness, completely depriving you of the feeling of joy and any significance of yourself in this world.

It is possible that the husband will agree to visit a psychologist with you, but if suddenly a specialist says even a word that you also have a problem, even a small insignificant one, the tyrant will perceive it and turn it over so that you are to blame for everything.

And at every opportunity he will not miss the opportunity to remind you of this. And you will again be trampled by his malice, not having a word to counter his arguments.

Do you think that you love him and that he is the best thing in your life? I remember the lines from the song:

© "What then to expect from life, if the best thing I had in it was YOU?" - Zemfira ...

What to do to keep yourself under the pressure of tyranny?

Is it worth trying to keep something in your life together with someone who does not just make you unhappy, but frankly cripples you, both mentally and physically?

I think the answer is obvious: NO!

The only thing to do is to run! Run without looking back and without remembering!

Dear, lovely, women! Take care of yourself! Your happiness is in your hands and only, and not in someone's, and even more so not in the hands of your tyrant husband! Nobody has the right to decide for you!

We are all free in our desires, actions and choices!

Women often endure beatings from their husbands, believing that the situation cannot be changed. In vain! The home sadist can be tamed.

Domestic violence can be conditionally divided into three types: moral, psychophysical and physical.

Moral torture lies in the fact that a sadist constantly insults a woman, suppresses her will, trying to completely subjugate and destroy her as a person.

Psychophysical abuse - this is when assault is added to the insults.

Physical torture the most insidious: the husband brutally beats his wife for no reason, “without warning”. And this happens more than once, not twice, but systematically. Such a person is most likely mentally inadequate and needs treatment.

Teaching life

Men who morally harass their wives usually make the excuse that they want their best - and scold them solely for educational purposes. In fact, they feel a sense of satisfaction that they are hurting another.

Photobank Lori

What are sadists? Usually these are people who are afraid of society. They are primitive, embittered, envious or arrogant individuals. Society, as a rule, rejects such people, and quite harshly. Resentment towards the whole world for this turns into a hidden anger, which the sadist is trying to take out on someone. Since such a person is cowardly outside the house, the wife and children have to take the blow.

Hanging out on the weak

During the psychophysical torture of his wife, the man turns on animal instincts. This type of sadist takes pleasure in watching his victim suffer.

It is noticed that in a purely male environment such a person cannot defend his interests, he quickly fails. Perhaps, as a child, his parents beat him. And now such a person asserts himself against the weak.

I beat without hesitation

If a man beats his wife without words, without explaining the reasons, then he, most likely, has already completely degraded. They are guided by instincts and nothing more. This is a serious mental illness, and it is dangerous to be around such a person. He can easily hit his wife with a fist, knife, ax. Such individuals in the future can pose a danger both to the family and to the whole society.

The man who drinks

The abuse of alcohol often makes a person a tyrant. A man who regularly drinks is not able to give an account of his actions. His culture, adequate self-esteem disappears, only primitive reflexes remain.

Quite often you can hear from women: “Before the husband was a completely different person - affectionate, attentive, calm. And now - just a monster! " But the most interesting thing is that many wives believe that vodka is to blame, and not the one who drinks it and then dismisses his hands. Men take advantage of this with pleasure: "I don't remember anything, I was drunk." As if that justifies his ugly behavior. The patience of the wives and the impunity of the sadist provoke him to new violence.

Alcohol tends to destroy a man's sex drive. And this is a reason for jealousy: "If my wife is not with me, then with someone else." And fantasies that she and her lover can laugh at him, drive him into a frenzy. It is impossible to convince a jealous person, to prove that this is not so.

Why do they endure?

But what about women? Why don't they part with the person who mentally and physically destroys them?

First, girls with certain character traits and specific family history marry a sadist. If in childhood the baby saw how her father offends her mother, and she puts up with humiliation, then she concludes for herself: humility and humility are good traits. And in order to manifest them, you need a male aggressor. Such girls, as a rule, choose nice, arrogant, cruel guys as their husbands.

Secondly, the destruction of a woman's personality occurs often unnoticed by her. In the early years, assault may not appear. But the husband is capable of humiliating his wife in the presence of friends or in the circle of relatives. It still seems to a woman that she can control the situation: the inappropriate behavior of her faithful justifies him by failures, bad mood, stress. In fact, everything is different: the spouse knows perfectly well what he is doing. He already got a taste: he began to enjoy the consciousness of his power. Now the tyrant can leave his wife without money, forbid her to see friends or relatives. Having deprived her of the "support group" and knowing that she will not complain to anyone, he begins to let go.

At this stage, the woman can still leave him.

But if she does not do this, then the irreversible destruction of her personality will begin. After all, a sadist not only beats and insults his victim. Allegedly "having come to his senses", he begins to ask for forgiveness, shower his wife with expensive gifts, swears that this was the last time. A woman forgives her husband, but a little time passes, and everything repeats itself. As periods of beating alternate with reconciliation, she begins to think that it’s all about ... herself. It is she who is so bad that she "brings" him. The mockery is becoming more and more sophisticated each time. And, not finding a way out of the vicious circle, some of the victims commit suicide or ... they kill their spouse, and then, by the verdict of the court, are sent to prison.

Reigning on the tyrant

All home sadists are afraid of publicity and specific interference from outside people. Remember: in public, and especially in men's companies, such personalities are quieter than water, below grass. Therefore, never hide your misfortune, do not withdraw into yourself.

Tell your husband's parents, relatives, friends about how he behaves with you. Many of his acquaintances may not even be aware of his sadistic inclinations.

Connect your parents, sisters and brothers. Tell them frankly about the inhuman behavior of your husband, let them shame him. The brothers can talk to him in a purely masculine way, make a warning.

Contact a psychological help center, ask for help in this situation.

Go to the local policeman, write a statement asking to understand the situation. The police have enough methods of influencing the home sadist. For example, the district police officer can exhaust him with daily calls to the department or constant visits to your apartment at 22.00 with a half-hour educational conversation. If your husband threatens with violence, call the police squad.

The most important thing is not to give the tyrant rest. Let him know what a "fun" life awaits him every time after he swings at you.

Or is he sick?

However, all these methods work only if the tyrant of the household does not have a mental illness. Therefore, go to a neuropsychiatric dispensary, tell the doctor about your husband's behavior, get advice on how to behave with him. An experienced psychiatrist, even for individual manifestations, can suggest a diagnosis. Some diseases are dangerous both for others and for the patient himself (he is able to turn the resulting rage against himself and commit suicide). Especially the situation is aggravated under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

If the doctor suspects that your husband has a mental illness, try to persuade him to undergo treatment. And if you do not agree, then with the next attack of aggression, immediately call an ambulance for psychiatric help.

The question arises: is parting with such a person inevitable? If, despite treatment, doctors cannot guarantee that your spouse will not have outbursts of anger, then the best thing you can do for yourself is to leave him. No benefits can replace the greatest value - your own life and well-being, as well as the health of your children.

"Beacons" of a sadist

There are many reasons why a person has sadistic inclinations. This is a genetic predisposition, and a cruel upbringing in the family, and drug addiction, and alcoholism. But maybe the main factor is character. And it manifests itself already in the first days of acquaintance. Knowing these "beacons", you can determine if your new friend will become a home tyrant.

• He begins to control you like a child: “Don't meet your friends. Do not dare to wear makeup and do not talk with men, even with colleagues ”,“ Why, when I called you, you didn’t answer? ”,“ I should know at any moment where you are! ”,“ I don’t like your friends! ” , "I don't like your parents!" He does not allow you to express his opinion, shouts, does not leave you for a minute.
• The next indicator of a dysfunctional state of mind of this person is his negative opinion about children, animals, the elderly. You should be alerted by the statements: "Everyone is bastards!"
• Notice if this person has a sense of humor. Can he just laugh at himself, at his mistakes? This is not typical of a primitive soul. Such a person does not know how to joke or laugh at the jokes of others.
• And finally - the presence of intelligence. If a person's vocabulary is meager, there are no hobbies, but there is only deep dissatisfaction with everything and everyone, then a family union with him will not be easy.

What to do? If you find some of these traits in your new friend, run as far away from him as possible. Do not hope that your boundless love will be able to change him. Rather, he will remake you. After a year of living together, such a person will break your will, and it will already be difficult for you to commit a decisive act - to leave him.

Thoughts that turn a woman into a victim:

• "I will not live alone, I have neither my own home, nor my profession."
• "Such is our female lot: we must learn to endure."
• “Nobody should know what's going on in our family. If my husband becomes aware that I have told someone about his behavior, he will become completely furious. "
• “Children should have a dad. Even a bad father is better than not having one. "
• “Of course, I myself am largely to blame. It was not necessary..."
• "We need to find such behavior so that the husband does not have reasons for irritation."

Many women imagine family life as idyllic from the cover of a glossy magazine. The long-awaited passes, but the reality turns out to be meaner and more prosaic.

The prince and ally gradually turns into a tyrant who sets the boundaries of your freedom. Relationships are becoming more painful every day and the question "how to get rid of your tyrant husband?" looms more distinctly on the horizon.

A happy family is the dream of many

The strategy used by tyrant husbands to suppress the will of the victim is simple to the point of impossibility. They are trying to impose their values ​​and attitudes, to replace your opinion with their own.

Naturally, when your opinion is devalued, you lose confidence in yourself and become vulnerable to any suggestion from the outside. If you often hear such phrases from your husband, then it's time to think about further relationships:

• You know nothing;
• I will tell you how to do it better;
• Nobody asked you;
• The husband knows better;
• It's your fault.

A tyrant man will do everything possible to make his wife feel vulnerable. Guilt manipulation occupies a special place in the arsenal of psychological sadism. The sadist entrusts his victim with responsibility for all events occurring in the marriage and, sometimes, even outside it.

In the event of the slightest discrepancy between expectations and reality, the woman is always the culprit. Sometimes such a man can deliberately provoke conflict situations with one goal - to blame his spouse.

In order to get rid of your tyrant husband, you must realize yourself as a whole person with your desires and interests. Before you do anything on the recommendation of your beloved husband, ask yourself if you want to do this and what will be useful for you?

Taking care of your needs will be the first step towards breaking free from tyranny. If you are in doubt whether to leave your unlucky husband or not, then honestly answer the following questions:

1. What do I get from this marriage?
2. What did my husband do for our happiness?
3. Do I feel good around him?
4. When was the last time I was not afraid of my own husband?

To get rid of any doubts that have surged, write down the answers on a piece of paper. And reread them every time you feel like forgiving him.

This is not love

A husband should not oppress his woman!

The catch phrase says that "the road to hell is paved with good intentions," tyrants often unconsciously take it into service. They justify their cruelty and thirst for power with "love."

He beats, it means he loves - another victim of codependency thinks and continues to get involved in destructive relationships.

Stop entertaining yourself with illusions, a loving man will never apply both physical and psychological violence to his woman. Love is, first of all, caring for the needs of another, and a tyrannical husband is guided by the principles of selfishness.

In fact, all his actions are aimed at improving his own well-being, and this is another reason to leave her tyrant husband.

Only a mature and self-sufficient person is able to build a situation of love and harmonious relationships. And tyrants do not possess such qualities, since they are vulnerable and superficial people. For the tyrant, your relationship is just a game, and he prepares to make another move. Do not turn your life into a chessboard, so you will never achieve happiness and tranquility.

With an eye on the crowd

Raising a hand to a woman is a man's weakness!

Thinking for a couple of minutes, you will surely remember a few examples of everyday household tyranny.

It is likely that people you know are still living in such traumatic relationships and stoically endure any kind of moral bullying.

Do not look back at someone else's life and think that this demeanor is normal for all men.

Domestic violence thrives on misconceptions about its normality. In some families, the man may be the main one, but never - the prosecutor, judge and executioner all rolled into one.

The role of the family leader does not involve bullying the victim with impunity in any philosophical or religious concept.

Obstacles to the goal

The desire to get rid of a tyrant husband is half the trouble. Often, these thoughts remain somewhere in the space of other desires, along with the dream of a new fur coat and a trip to warm lands.

You perfectly understand that you will never realize your plan, but the very presence of such a desire gives you a good moral justification before your own conscience. Of course, you do not continue to be idle, you wanted to leave and you will definitely take the first step at the right time.

If you truly want to end a traumatic relationship, self-deception is not the best strategy for dealing with the problem. The woman, accustomed to being the victim, begins to come up with excuses for her tormentor.

By keeping the family together with the tyrant, you become hostage to your desire to live with a strong man. The tyrant's power is as mythical as your family happiness.

Self-affirmation at the expense of a woman is a weakness for a successful and confident man.

Happy ending

Finding a compromise is not always possible

One of the biggest mistakes women make is trying to compromise. It seems to you that you will change the despot by long persuasion, caress, tears, or invent other, more reliable ways.

Negotiating with your tormentor can take years, during which time you suffer from tyranny. Unfortunately, half measures are not limited here.

You cannot influence your husband in any way, because he is an adult. In his head there are already standards and models of behavior that he will not give up for your sake. After all, if he wanted to hear from you, he would have done so a long time ago, before the question of the breakup came up on the edge.

It is possible that his behavior is the cause of the violence that he himself experienced. But you are not a psychotherapist and you need to improve your life, so the way out is obvious - divorce.

Tyrants are actually afraid of divorce, because then the victim will disappear from sight. Having heard the proposal for a divorce, your home tyrant will begin to beg for forgiveness, bombard with gifts and the most unthinkable promises.

Your direct task is not to be led by provocations and not to believe the words. If you forgive your spouse, then later this incident will be blamed on you, opening up a new field for manipulative opportunities.

Getting rid of your tyrant husband will give you confidence in your own strength and give you new opportunities. Feeling your own freedom, you will reveal your natural potential and begin to live the way you really want it. The freedom to be yourself is the main reward for getting rid of domestic tyranny.

If a guy is a tyrant, what to do and can you change him? Answers - in the video:

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