I want to forget my ex, but I can't. How to forget your ex and start a new life. Hello new life

It's hard to believe, but russian psychology there is not a single more or less meaningful study on how to get over grief. Loss of love, divorce, or separation is a major mental health test. Grief syndrome is capable of long years to dull feelings and fence off the colors of life. And still own practice and the experience of my foreign colleagues allow me to propose a universal and rather effective scheme for coping with the tragedy of parting, loss, betrayal.

Revision phase

Sigmund Freud wrote about the importance of “tearing off psychic energy from a beloved but now lost object. " But in order to emerge from grief, one must first surrender to the wave. Do not restrain yourself, allow yourself to grieve, remembering all the brightest and best that is associated with a departed person, remembering the unfinished - unspoken grievances, unresolved feelings of guilt, unfinished joint plans.

Disposal phase

When the first acuteness of the loss subsides, try to abruptly, mercilessly get rid of things and photos of your ex-partner (it's better if you just return everything to him!), Forbid yourself to go to his pages in social networks, call common acquaintances to get information. This will undoubtedly take some time. When you stop touching the material carriers of the memory of your ex, you will be ready for liberation.

Separation phase

Psychologists call the third phase of liberation the final separation, separation. It is as if two streams of life begin to flow in your memory - the present and the past. At some point, you suddenly find that you are able to look back without pain, without feeling anger and resentment. You feel like an observer, before whom the river of memory brings memories of yesterday to the shore.

Advice: Don't try right after hard parting build new relationships, make a partner a "plaster" from heartache... From my counseling experience, I can say that nothing good comes of such a relationship. It is better to give an opportunity to your soul to rest, to rethink the bitter experience, to become stronger. This takes time. Everyone has their own countdown - someone will need several months, someone a year.

Our head is a real labyrinth. Everyone knows the entrance, but few manage to get out.

A lot of psychological theories and practices help to forget about people "toxic" for your life. Unforgotten exes fall into this category.

But for some reason, many forget that the effect is guaranteed only if you work on yourself. It’s not enough to simply obediently reproduce affirmations and convince yourself that everything will be okay.

And if…

How often do you analyze the events that happen in your life? Tell us in the comments.

But let's be honest ... Analysis is not "what would happen if ..." and cry out of self-pity.

Real introspection allows you to evaluate and track the chains of events that make up your life. Understand your real internal state and consider yourself in the people who paint your biography.

And this is directly related to each of your exes.

Why don't you notice how you build a relationship with the same man in different faces, I go into detail in my free online course Man: Honest Instruction.

Take a notebook, pen and write down what will help you to forget HIM! There are three stages to go through:

1. Catharsis

Usually, a breakup triggers a standard set of emotions: pain, resentment, frustration, and a complete lack of understanding.

IN modern psychology there is a concept called "catharsis". Imagine that a person is a festive fireworks display in a beautiful package.

Set the fuse on fire - you release energy, put it into something bright. If you hide it in the far corner, the packaging will wrinkle, the fireworks will damp and deteriorate.

In order to emerge from sadness into a new life, and not into depression, allow yourself to realize emotions. What do you want? Screaming, crying, breaking dishes, hiding under a blanket, watching tearful melodramas, drawing, leaving?

GO ON! ACT!

Want to tell him everything? Do this! Record a video message, write a letter about your experiences. Straight with a pen on paper. About what infuriated him, what annoyed him, from what it hurt.

Then hide it. You will re-read / review everything in a week and see yourself from a different angle. This is the beginning general cleaning your life.

Parting without catharsis is self-deception. Well, an interrupted connection cannot but cause any emotions. Even the feeling of emptiness is, in fact, one of the manifestations of sadness.

2. Cleaning

So that the memories and experiences associated with a man do not provoke a spiritual response, it is not enough just to go through.

Your memory (and mine too, by the way) is a very tricky thing and will try to block conflicting memories, leaving only your "best".

And they rushed ... Joint photos, holiday gifts and a shower repaired by his hands ... and again longing. Just get rid of it all. Throw it in an urn, delete it, forget it.

Yes, even a teddy bear ...

If you cannot resist and monitor his status a hundred times a day and new girl in social networks - ban him, for your own sake!

Disassemble deposits (old books, trash on the table, documents, clothes) is one of the easiest and effective techniques in the transition from old to new.

This may take you a weekend, or a week. But the main thing is that the result will not be long in coming.

Allow yourself to take a day off at work to clean your feathers in a relaxed atmosphere and start living with renewed vigor.

3. Break

Separation from him is your main goal. At this stage, your psyche and memory will do inexplicable things.

Life will be divided into "before" and "after" the former. There will be a desire to return everything, see, explain, start over, ask for forgiveness for everything that you were and were not to blame, if only he was there.

First of all, try to stop yourself. If it doesn't work out, call your family and friends who can control you. And they will not make one of the most unpleasant mistakes - "goodbye" sex.

Not that it's taboo. But this very situation is perceived by the majority of women as a mistake and vain hopes, such as: "What if he comes back?"

It is close people who will be able, if not to turn your attention to the positive, then at least not to ring his door after the third glass of wine.

It is important to understand that sooner or later this state will end. And when you get through it all, become a pilot top class - and you will be able to on the fly, without leaving reality, look back without pretensions, resentment and anger.

Test of endurance

Breaking an emotional bond is perhaps the most difficult part of a relationship that is leaving.

Especially for women. Simply by virtue of the emotional perception of the world.

“For some, it is completely inexplicable - love loses its colors. And someone just loses their love ... "- said in one wonderful film.

And each of these cases is a serious test for the psyche. The question is how much are you willing to thank ex-man for the experience that she received and free the “prisoner” from the prison of her own memory.

I am sure that you can handle it, Yaroslav Samoilov.

yaroslav-samoylov.com

Forgetting Your Ex: How to Overcome Emotional Addiction to Men

Even the most beautiful romantic relationship may end one day. Perhaps you cannot find a woman who would not have experienced at least once a break with a loved one. Some find the strength to leave past relationships behind and move on. Others harass themselves for years, unable to forget their ex.

Paradoxically, in this situation, most often women find themselves who sacrificed everything for the sake of relationships. They sought to please the beloved, that they lived his life, forgetting about their own. At the same time, such victims were considered proof of their love.

However, in most cases, tender feelings have nothing to do with it. The phrase “I can't forget my ex” is usually evidence of psychological dependence on a man. Moreover, the woman does not at all strive to forget the former, the emotional connection with him is important to her. This is how addictive behavior manifests itself.

Often, addiction arises in childhood, when the parents inspire the girl that love must be earned. As a result, she develops a behavioral stereotype “to be loved, you need to please”. Growing up, the girl transfers this behavior model to her own family or love relationship... She does not seek to be desired, on the contrary, she tries to get her husband's approval in everything. When such a relationship collapses, the woman instantly loses the ground under her feet. It is difficult for her to admit that life does not end with the departure of a man.

If you yourself cannot forget your ex and suffer from it, believe me - new love will come into your life. It is important just to make room for her. Do you want to annoy your friends for years with monologues on the topic "I can't forget my ex"? You need to move on, but first you need to free yourself from emotional dependence.

How? You can seek help from a specialist psychologist if your suffering is prolonged. For a start, you should try to cope on your own, using simple psychological techniques.

1. Analyze your life scenario. Answer honestly next questions (better in writing):

Do I often do what I want?

How did my parents treat me as a child?

What is more important to me - to be desired or to please my man?

Why am I letting a man do this to me?

Why can't I forget my husband or why can't I forget my ex?

Am I afraid to be alone? Why?

By writing down the answers, you will probably realize that you continue to live according to the scenario laid down in childhood. This scenario needs to be changed. You have already made sure that it does not lead to anything good.

2. Understand your feelings.

Try to remember the most significant events of your childhood and adulthood... How did you feel? What were you afraid of? Perhaps disapproval or not desired? Isn't that why you compromised your interests? Did you try in every possible way to please your parents, and then your husband? What did your past relationship bring you the joy of intimacy or the fear of losing it? Think if it's so scary to have own opinion? You are no longer a child and you can stand up for yourself.

3. Each has an inner fulcrum. Find yours.

You are an adult, a mature personality with your own needs and desires. Start bringing them to life. You dreamed of something, didn't you? Perhaps you wanted to become a doctor, travel, or learn to paint. Start realizing your childhood dreams. And most importantly, do not be afraid of failure. It doesn’t matter if not everything will work out. You will find yourself an interesting activity that will help you get past failed relationships out of your head.

4. Strive for harmony in your relationship.

A meaningful relationship is a partnership where each spouse is equal. People who are engaged in self-development and do not interfere with the development of a partner can achieve harmony in relationships. Do you want to be desired? Become an independent, interesting woman. Men appreciate these women.

And remember, no more sacrifices on your part! Harmonious relationship are built only on mutual respect.

Share your experience in the comments. Are partings easy for you? Not necessarily in your personal life. Attachment can arise to friends, work, colleagues, parents, acquaintances. If something keeps you in the past, it will be difficult to really assess the present and move into your bright future. It's like walking down the street with your head constantly turned back. How far will you go?

Did you come across this page by accident?

If you find the material useful - like it, repost in social networks, write comments! Let's improve the world together!

ladnaya-ya.ru

How to Forget the Man You Love: 8 Steps to Healing

Loving someone who is completely indifferent to you is not the greatest grief for a woman? There are different situations: someone initially does not feel a reciprocal feeling for a person who loves him, someone thought that he also loved, but love faded away, and someone did not know anything at all about the warm feelings that someone felt towards to him, and he himself fell in love with a completely different person ... Be that as it may, love for someone who is completely indifferent to you is the most hopeless feeling in the world, because the love of another person is not at all something that you could control and somehow influence it.

But falling out of love and throwing it out of your heart is exactly what you need to do in order to begin the healing process. After all, it is not your fault that you love, but you do not; and the only thing left for you to do is move on and try to free your heart for another, mutual and happy love... And although now it may seem impossible to you, we will help you understand how to forget the man you love with all your heart, if he does not feel love in return.

So, have you made up your mind? Do you want to stop loving and forget a man who does not love you? Then you should proceed as follows:

Don't be ashamed of the fact that you loved but didn't keep the relationship. In some cases, it can be very difficult to stop loving, it even seems impossible to imagine how to forget the man you love. But there is nothing wrong or shameful about that. Love for another person is a beautiful, selfless feeling, even if this love is unrequited. Over time, the pain will decrease, you can even become interested in a completely different man, and then a new love will wake up in you. If there is anything that can improve this world, it is love. Remember that you will have a great future if you can free yourself from your past!

www.jlady.ru

Psychological advice to eliminate pain and resentment after parting with a loved one

How to forget the guy you love? It is unlikely that there is at least one girl or woman who, at least once in her life, would not ask this question. Mental pain is sometimes unbearable, it seems that life after the loss of love has lost its meaning. Thoughts about the past, unfulfilled happiness do not allow to develop and live on.

Girls often seek advice from moms, girlfriends, or websites famous psychologists... Understanding the problem comes gradually, and there is confidence that if the breakup could not be avoided, then you need to resort to efforts to forget the guy after the breakup.

Experts insist that it is impossible to forget love by an effort of will. But you can turn it into pain-free memories and learn from the experience valuable lessons.

First of all, you should understand that an unsuccessful relationship does not mean that love has been taken away from you. No, you have been deprived of the opportunity to enjoy the company of a loved one, to receive positive emotions from him, to make joint plans and so on.

But no one can take love away from you. And in fact, only she is the source of real happiness. Mentally thank fate for giving you the opportunity to experience this feeling, even if you received pain.

The next tip is to try to remove all claims to yourself and your ex, to forgive him. Stop blaming him for ruining your happiness. If you find a third culprit in your mental pain (for example, a female homeless woman), then be sure to forgive her too.

If you think you are at fault, forgive yourself and promise yourself not to do this again. Wisdom and maturity in a relationship comes with the understanding that if something happened to you, then it was necessary for you at that very time, in these circumstances. All other people and conditions are instruments in the hands of your destiny.

Pain in relationships - breakups, betrayal, betrayal - all this comes into our lives for a reason. This is necessary so that we learn to love regardless of the circumstances.

For example, it is very easy for us to love if a sweetheart is nearby, carries us in his arms, says compliments, calls us to the registry office, if he is rich, handsome, smart and gentle. But if he insulted, betrayed, left, became a loser, disabled or impotent - then for some reason we stop loving him. Psychologists call this not love, but affection that grows together with pleasure.

If your relationship with your sweetheart for some reason did not work out, then you are not ready for it. So, most likely, you know how to love only if the person gives you pleasure. You need to learn to love in spite of.

Not for something, but in spite of something. Therefore, the question "how to forget a guy" becomes irrelevant. Better ask yourself the question: "How to learn to love correctly?"

So, the relationship did not work out, but love remained after parting. It hurts? Yes, but also great! This means you have a chance to learn to love regardless of pleasure. Do not turn yourself against this person, do not convince yourself that he is not worthy, do not tell yourself "I will find a hundred of the best."

Instead, forgive, as already mentioned, him, yourself, everyone around you and fate at the same time. And sincerely wish him and everyone around him happiness. It is very important to really sincerely wish this person happiness. That's what it is unconditional love, which not everyone is capable of experiencing! Now let's move on to the next steps.

Unspent love and painful experiences depress creative energy and pull you into depression.

The accumulated potential of love must be released, transformed:

1. to make a trip, near or far, because a change of place is always beneficial for emotional experiences, because it makes us react to new impressions, helps to switch to the external world instead of the internal;
2. pay attention physical activity: dancing, running, strength exercises on simulators, and concentration positive energy does well in martial arts classes, archery;
3. to begin creative activity, perhaps secluded, without the help of other people: a self-instruction manual for playing the guitar, breeding rare cacti, sewing will do. The more you give energy, creative powers, the more happiness you will receive;
4. communicate more and meet with friends, acquaintances and relatives. Isolation and "digging into oneself" in such a situation has not yet been beneficial to anyone.

And when you stop mentally going back to the past negative experience, blame yourself, your beloved guy and life itself - then you will have a real chance to meet happiness.

You will stop feeling pain and calm down, there will be just gratitude to this guy for the feeling of love that he helped you experience. Perhaps fate will change dramatically, and he will return.

Or another person will appear who will become your love and happiness. In any case, if you learn to love - him, yourself, people, the world - your destiny will turn out amazingly and beautifully! Be happy!

Video: How to Forget ex-boyfriend?

mjusli.ru

Sooner or later, this question arises before almost every woman. Forgetting your ex-boyfriend is not as easy as we would like, but, nevertheless, it is advisable to do it as soon as possible. Open, friendly girlthat radiates positive, most likely, and will receive the same return. Therefore, to be sad about something that cannot be returned is at least unreasonable. Forgetting an ex-boyfriend and starting a new life are the primary tasks facing a girl after a breakup.

The right thoughts for forgetting your ex

In most cases, after parting, the thought revolves in my head: how to build your life without his presence in it, after all, everything was planned out - and what about now?

It is worth remembering the simple everyday wisdom that true love cannot cause suffering, and that one that passes (for one or both partners) is not real. Therefore, you need to direct all internal resources not to longing for what could have been, but to letting go of this feeling, which in fact was not real love. Even if you can't immediately forget your ex-boyfriend, you need to force yourself through force. A strong obsession with the past carries only negative, first of all, for the woman herself, and can turn into depression.

To forget your ex-boyfriend and everything connected with him, you can follow these tips:

1. Remove from prominent places everything that reminds of him. If the ex-boyfriend showed himself not with better side, you should immediately forget about him, why destroy all photos, gifts, postcards, remove him from the list of contacts on the phone and remove him from friends in all kinds of social networks;
2. Analyze relationships. Most likely, the ex-boyfriend had some shortcomings, about which it's time to remember and be glad that you will no longer have to deal with this person;
3. Limit yourself from negative emotions. Light, pleasant music (but not the one that reminds of the time spent together), comedy or a good new book with a happy ending will help you relax and tune in to positive mood;
4. Go headlong into work. Being busy will not give time for memories of an ex-boyfriend, and a busy woman will be able to forget him much faster;
5. Give up thoughts of vengeance once and for all. If your relationship with your ex doesn't work out, then this is not the person you want. Therefore, apart from indifference, he can not cause anything. Not to mention the fact that any ill-considered actions (and revenge is most often committed on emotions) often turn against the avenger or expose him to ugly light... No matter how good everything is with the ex-boyfriend, forgetting and not remembering is the main goal.
6. Open image life - right way to quickly forget your ex. Try something new, go to new places, communicate with new people, get new emotions and impressions.

Of course, to completely forget and erase the ex-boyfriend from life, one work with thoughts and memories is not enough. The best healers - active lifestyle, new impressions and new acquaintances.

Some tips on how to forget your ex to the maximum short time:

1. Do not close in yourself. Surely, with the beginning of a relationship, communication with friends and girlfriends faded into the background. Now, finally, you can call those with whom you have not seen for a long time, go on a visit or go on a picnic out of town. After all, when, if not now, enjoy the beauty and advantages of a free life;
2. It's time to do some sports or find a hobby (preferably one that implies constant active communication in real life, and not just via the Internet). You can start jogging in the morning, thereby increasing your tone and improving your figure. In addition, there are always like-minded people in any stadium in the early morning. Therefore, communication, and communication again!
3. Have fun actively. This is participation in the cultural life of the city (visiting exhibitions, presentations, concerts, discos), and going to the beach in summer or an ice rink in winter. The main thing is to be at home alone with your thoughts as little as possible, and then forgetting your ex-boyfriend will work out much faster;
4. Try not to date an ex-boyfriend if you had the same company or have mutual friends, not to go to places where you can meet him. You should forget your ex-boyfriend as soon as possible, and chance meeting can only throw firewood on the fire.

If you even try to follow all of the above, your life will surely take on new colors much faster, and you will find that forgetting your ex is not so difficult.

Elena, www.garmoniazhizni.com

www.garmoniazhizni.com

How To Quickly Forget Your Ex-Boyfriend Who Dumped You

You were abandoned by a young man, and you just can't forget him, and you don't know what to do. Common situation? Unfortunately, perfect relationship does not exist. It's hard to believe now, but life doesn't end there. We will call on psychology to help and teach you how to quickly and painlessly forget the ex-boyfriend you still love. From our article you will learn about the 5 main rules of survival after breaking up with an ex.

Time heals

This does not mean at all that you need to "mourn" for a bygone relationship and shed tears for many months until the long-awaited remission occurs. Give yourself time to get over it. Realize the fact itself. Without the help of "vests", alcohol and throwing to extremes. Independently, at least a week or two. You will see that after a certain period, everything that happens will look much less tragic.

Before killing a person who did not accept yours sincere feelings, see if it was love. Let me remind you: love is a constructive feeling that helps to grow and develop. If the relationship brought for the most part negative, it is rather one of the types of addiction (emotional, sexual, etc.) or psychological game type "Aggressor - Victim", "Othello - Desdemona", etc. Therefore, rule number 2 is:

Diagnosing a departed relationship with an ex-boyfriend

Don't be afraid to lose someone. People destined by fate are not lost. The ones that get lost are for experience. The most important thing that you need to understand for yourself is why this happened. This must be done even if you are already dating another young man. Why? That's why we make mistakes, to become a little wiser.

Put on the shelves what was more in your relationship: tears, accusations, mutual claims or positive emotions. Try to figure out what you lack the most from what your ex gave you: support and care or perverse attention in the form of constant control, tenderness and warmth, or delicious sex.

If at the moment of sobering it turned out that the relationship was initially destructive, do not forget to be glad that you “jumped off the hook” in time.

The most best medicine after parting - a new relationship with another man who will make you truly happy. We advise you to watch the new free video course of Alexei Chernozem "12 laws of seduction for women." From the course you will learn how to attract his attention, push him to acquaintance, interest and captivate.

Unfortunately, it also happens that, only having lost a person, we realize how much he really meant to us. If, after weighing all the pros and cons, you are convinced that it was “exactly the one”, do not rush to put an end to your joint future, but try not to make active efforts to return your ex for a while. Rule # 3 is:

Let it go, even if you want it back

Simply put, give him time to weigh everything and assess the extent of the loss. It may very well be that on this moment he feels no better than you. Give him the opportunity to be a man and make decisions. Do not annoy with night calls and silence on the phone. You don't want to make him feel sorry for him or worse, annoy him.

After parting with a guy, many girls are immersed in a kind of vacuum that separates them from outside world, and prefer to suffer, buried in a pillow, eating grief with sweets or free time girlfriends for many hours "confessions". The collapse of a relationship should not become a stone pulling you to the bottom, but a pretty slap or, if you like, a slap on the head, encouraging self-development. Next rule №4 –

Total upgrade

Consider breaking up with your ex as an opportunity to spend more time on yourself. Display your external and intellectual indicators on new level - change your hairstyle and wardrobe, visit a beauty salon and SPA, sign up for gym, for foreign courses, painting, cooking, cutting and sewing ... The main thing is to remember: everything that you do, you do first of all for your beloved.

New classes will help not only to gain self-confidence, but also to change the environment, social circle. And who knows, if you will meet a new love on the way to training or English lessons ...

It often happens that, despite an active lifestyle, socializing with friends and many-sided activities, something inevitably brings you back and makes you relive painful memories again and again. First of all, you need to figure out what exactly is such a "stop signal", some material object or pity that you feel for yourself. Whatever it is, rectifying the situation requires following rule # 5, which we will call

spring-cleaning

It must be carried out both in the apartment and in the head. The first, of course, is easier. A necessary element of cleaning is the elimination of material evidence of outdated relationships - old photos, souvenirs, his toothbrushthat you keep as a relic ... There is only one verdict - to destroy.

Let the tear that falls from your eyes when "burying" a package of relics in the depths of the garbage can be the latest manifestation suffering for the former and everything connected with it.

Cleaning your own head is much more difficult: you first need to acknowledge your weaknesses in the form of self-pity and the desire to cherish your suffering, constantly feeding them. You must once and for all forbid yourself to suffer, at least about old relationships. Fight dreary melodies, movies, thoughts. Hurray for positive communication, music, movies, books. Correct organization thinking and space will effectively help you survive any crisis.

Useful video on the topic:

And do not forget: if fate deprives you of something, perhaps it is preparing some kind of grand surprise ahead!

selfishlady.ru

Many girls take a breakup with their boyfriends very hard. Everyone faces this sooner or later. Sure, nice memories, photos, correspondence on social networks disturb the soul every day. But all this will pass over time! I want to help you to part with this unpleasant sediment on your soul as quickly as possible and make your life more colorful. In this article I will give a few different ways and methods of how to quickly forget a guy.

Let's start with the advice of a psychologist:

1. Analyze how you feel about your ex. Whether it was love or not. After all, when they love, they do not suffer! The feeling of self-doubt, ownership, hurt pride, fear of loneliness makes you suffer. It takes a lot of effort to get rid of all these negative feelings.
2. The next step is to take 2 sheets of paper. On the first one write "The Story of Your Love". List all the happy moments that have been for all time, and then the experiences and suffering that you experienced at the end of your relationship. And at the bottom of the piece of paper write the phrase "It's all in the past!" Tear this piece of paper into small pieces and discard. On the second sheet, write down all the feelings that you had after writing the first letter. Write down what you lack to become stronger and more self-confident. Don't kid yourself, write down all your strengths and weaknesses.
3. Psychologists advise if you wake up in the morning with bad mood and with thoughts of your parting, you need to quickly get up and accept cool showerto wash off all the negativity from yourself. To sleep well, you do not need to drink sleeping pills at night, just drink soothing hot mint tea. Immerse yourself in your studies. The state in which you are now will help you achieve many successes.
4. If your ex constantly catches your eyes, pay a minimum of attention to him. After a while, looking at him, you yourself will be surprised how you could suffer because of this guy, who also has a lot of shortcomings. Always smile, let him see that you are happy without him, but he just made a huge mistake by parting with you.
5. See for yourself that all your suffering is ridiculous. Only in books is suffering so beautifully painted, but in real life it looks pretty funny. Pitying yourself is humiliating. Be strong!
6. After breaking up with your ex, draw a couple of conclusions for yourself, because this life experience, you have become wiser and smarter.

Forget the guy and get even better!

Are you sitting at home all alone in misery? Then you need to make a plan rehabilitation periodwhich will last 2 weeks.

Day 1. Day of Tears

I advise you to cry, but ONLY ONE DAY! Cry all day, re-read all your correspondence, listen to "your" songs, review all the gifts that he gave you, your joint photos. Tears will help you get rid of negative emotions that are consuming you.

Day 2. All memories are in the trash

Collect all your photos, his music CDs, his clothes and just throw it in the trash. Of course, it's a pity to do this, but you want to throw it out of your life, and not put it off for later, so do not regret it.

Day 3. Make yourself a SPA resort

Take a full bath of hot water, add a couple of pinches of salt, a few drops of rosemary. Climb into the bathtub, warm up ... and let all your sorrows float down the rusted pipes down the drain. After all, tomorrow you will start new life.

Day 4. New acquaintances

Of course, you cannot part with all your mutual friends just because your ex will be in the company. If you have friends who don't intersect with your ex-boyfriend, it's time to get close to them. At the same time, you will spend your free time with new good and interesting peopleavoiding meeting with ex.

Day 5. New look

Nothing cheers you up like new hairstyle! Change dramatically, sign up for good salon beauty, trust the professionals.

Day 6. Sports achievements

When playing sports, endorphins are released - "hormones of happiness". Go to the gym, do some dancing.

Day 7. Healthy eating

Take care of your diet. Try to eat more vegetables and fruits, eliminate fast food from your diet. After all, you began to radically change your life.

Day 8. Bad thoughts away

Thoughts about your ex constantly creep into your head? You have to do something about it. Load your brains with a bunch of new ones, but useful information... Sign up for language courses, which can also lead to new acquaintances.

Day 9. Everything he didn't like

Your boyfriend didn't like watching melodramas with you, listening to pop music, or going to a cafe together. Dedicate your whole day to what he forbade you to do in his presence. But all this should be without harm to health.

Day 10. Job search

You have already begun to devote more time to study, you have started to actively engage in sports, but you have a couple of hours a day left. Take this time to work, let it be on the weekend, participate in exhibitions, hand out flyers. Thus, you will have small, but YOURS money for personal expenses.

Day 11. A little magic

Do you already feel that you are ready for new communication and new relationships? You can dream about your future boyfriend. To do this, sew a bag of red fabric and black threads and put red rose petals inside. Put this bag under your pillow and you will have vivid dreams with the participation of your future prince.

Day 12. The girls go shopping

Sports activities have already yielded results? Excellent! New things are also needed for a new life. Set aside a shopping day with your friend. You will have a great time.

Day 13. Pretty woman!

You already look great - new hairstyle, toned figure, trendy outfits ... you're ready to go out. Attend a party with your girlfriends. Bring colors and emotions into your life.

Psychology how to tie a girl to yourself The husband does not pay attention to his wife what to do the advice of a psychologist

Life presents us with both pleasant and unpleasant surprises. A once-strong relationship cracks and people break up. Time passes, and many girls continue to think about their ex, not knowing what to do. But when the remaining feelings interfere with life, and it is impossible to return it by the very different reasons, there is only one way out - to forget the former once and for all, making room in your heart for true love.

How to forget your ex

There is nothing harder than letting go of feelings for an ex. Even if you broke up for mutual consent, over time, you may be surprised to realize that you are increasingly remembering him. All those representatives strong half the humanity you met after him are losing out against him, and you feel that you miss him. But before deciding what to do, remember why you broke up.

After all, if the reason for the breakup was his infidelity, cruelty, rudeness, unwillingness to be responsible and work, in no case should you return to him. Think, why do you still think about him, is there really no man who will love you and will not use you ?!

Women are so kind and compassionate that they readily believe in the remorse of those who have ever raised a hand against them. Although it has long been known that someone who dares to hurt someone who is weaker than him will never improve if he is constantly forgiven. Don't let such men, if you call them that, spoil your life and make you feel humiliated and insulted. No one is worth the sacrifice True love makes people care about each other, protect and help, and not offend, change, insult or mock.

Not worthy of your attention is the one who decided that it is not necessary to be faithful to a woman. Since he believes that everything is allowed to him, and you are ready to endure such an attitude in the future, disappoint him. Not a single representative of the strong half of humanity deserves love simply because he is a man and has chosen you. Neither loneliness, nor the desire to be happy, nor the fear that you will never meet your love again, should dictate their terms to you and influence decision-making. Life is too short to waste on unworthy partners.

If you broke up calmly, deciding to go separate ways, but now you feel that it was a mistake, talk to him. Maybe the ex-boyfriend is ready to try to revive the relationship. If it becomes completely clear that nothing can be returned, make a plan for how to forget your ex before the pain ruins your life.

And start by making a list of wishes that never came true. Write what you had to give up for the sake of the relationship, than sacrifice. Which of these goals are still relevant and evoke pleasant emotions in you. Analyze how you can achieve them. Think over all the details, your capabilities, what you need to do to accomplish your plan. This process is so fun that you won't have time to suffer.

Get involved in developing your creativity. There is nothing better for getting rid of heartache than creativity. Thus, you can throw out all the negative emotions that interfere with living and breathing. Describe your love story on paper, depict it, dedicate a poem or song to it. It will give you a sense of relief. Instead of wasting time on memories, experiences, and pipe dreams, devote time to yourself, forgetting who left and did not appreciate. And when the pain reminds of itself, burn the leaf with what you wrote, as if getting rid of the past forever.

As soon as thoughts about him appear in your beautiful head, switch to something more important. Think about your plans for the day, where you would like to visit, what to achieve. Imagine you already got what you wanted. Feel happy and successful girl, remember all the amazing meetings in life and forgive the mistakes.

Worrying about a failed relationship is always stressful. It is difficult to get rid of them, but nothing helps as much as playing sports. Sign up for the pool, for self-defense courses, start running in the morning, find the sport that you like the most. In addition to being very beneficial both for your health and for your safety, it will help raise your self-esteem for a new, more high level, as well as expand the circle of friends and charge with positive emotions for a long time.

Or maybe this gap is a long-awaited chance to start building your own career. Analyze what is required for this: knowledge of a foreign language or certain computer programs, the second higher education or courses in public speaking. Decide what you can offer the employer now, and how long it takes to get new skills that are in demand. In the meantime, you choose the most suitable option for the future, feelings for former partner will slowly start to disappear. And before you know it, you will meet someone who will make you forget about him forever.

I can't forget my ex: what to do?

• Take away all the things that remind you of him. As much as it would be a pity to get rid of them, think if you are really ready to constantly remember him just by looking at them. It's too difficult to change the memories associated with them. Therefore, if you are still not ready to throw them away or give them to those in need, hide them in the darkest corner of the pantry, where you, even remembering about them, just do not look. Maybe as time passes, you want to plunge into the past, recalling with slight sadness about what has passed. Truth, new man he will hardly be happy if he finds out that you wanted to remember your ex.

• Avoid visiting places where you have fun. In the first months after the breakup, nothing should remind of him. The fewer memories and events associated with it remain in your life, the faster you will be able to get rid of emotional dependence.
• Just do not rush to immediately look for a replacement. In general, you should never rush to find a partner. Making the wrong choice can make the situation even worse. After all, disillusioned with your new boyfriend, you will involuntarily begin to compare him with your ex. Therefore, start a new relationship only when you are completely sure that all your thoughts are exclusively about a new acquaintance.
• Take care of your inner peace... Don't think about your ex, think about yourself. What you lack in life can be self-confidence, the ability to feel at ease in any society, get rid of anxiety and set goals for yourself, achieving them. A person can always become even better by devoting time not only to personal growthbut also spiritual development.

• Try to watch comedy films, humorous programs, listen to cheerful and energetic music, read books that increase your self-esteem and level of optimism. Melodramas, romantic comedies, books and films about unhappy love, like sad music, are contraindicated for you.
• Don't be alone with your worries. Visit as much as possible interesting places, go to a museum, art gallery, visit a movie theater, bowling alley or a party with your friends. The main thing is that all your evenings are filled interesting events and meetings with nice people... Just don't go where you are likely to meet your ex. Until you finally get rid of feelings for him, it is better not to see him. It is not for nothing that there is a saying “Out of sight, out of mind”.

• If you want to get rid of thoughts that prevent you from feeling joy in life, find strength for good deeds. You will always be welcome in orphanage, in animal shelters, nursing homes, boarding schools or volunteer organizations that help people with disabilities or sick children. Compassion and mercy will not only allow you to manifest all of your best qualities, but also make you think that a person is able to deal with life's difficulties no matter what. Your kindness will definitely come back to you.

When the relationship ends, not every woman agrees to let go of her beloved and start life anew. Even realizing that it is impossible to return him, and sometimes it is not necessary, it is not easy to forget the ex and get rid of feelings for him. And this problem can be solved only by tuning in to long work above oneself.

Sadness, melancholy, sleepless nights, tears in the pillow can become companions of girls in this situation for a long time. And this is not at all surprising, because the guy has become close and dear to you, you are connected by wonderful moments and tender memories. Therefore, to forget the guy, you will need to make a lot of effort.

It won't be easy. But on the other hand, having coped with this problem, you will gain valuable experience, become much wiser and more mature. The result is definitely worth it!

How to quickly forget a guy?

Ways to help you forget your boyfriend:

1. The first thing to do is understand and accept the fact that the relationship is over. No matter how painful it is, no matter how much you want to dream of a joint future, your goal is to fully accept the separation.
2. After you stop deceiving yourself and accept parting as a fait accompli, you need to go through all the pain, all the emotions that have arisen in you. Give yourself a certain amount of time to live and throw out all your negative emotions, see joint photos, read correspondence, shout, cry, talk to your friend, do whatever you want, but only a certain amount of time.
3. Next, you need to get rid of those things that yesterday caused you memories of your ex: joint photos, postcards, joint correspondence. Try not to go to his social media profile. Yes, it's difficult to do, but in the end it will become much easier for you when there is nothing to remind of him.
4. , it is important for you to understand what exactly was lacking in them: understanding, respect, support, passion, tenderness, care or affection. Understand what caused the breakup, and what your mistakes may have been. Both are to blame for the relationship. Therefore, do not judge yourself. Just draw conclusions, they will be useful to you for the future.
5. After you've done the work on yourself, indulge yourself with something. Go to the salon, go shopping with your friend. Buy yourself some tasty treats and watch your favorite movie. Take a bubble bath with your favorite aromatic oils and relax.
6. Prove to yourself that nothing terrible happened, on the contrary, since it happened so, it means that it was necessary. Write on a piece of paper negative traits your partner, and on the other - your positive traits... So you will help yourself to look at the former with different eyes, and remember all your virtues.
7. Start thinking positively. Remember that everything starts with a thought. We attract only what we radiate. Therefore, you need to become a positive and optimistic person in order to attract happy moments into your life. Make a plan for the future. Remember your dreams, desires, goals. Try to take at least a few steps to achieve them.
8. Fill your life with positive emotions so that they completely overshadow the negative ones. And for this it is ideal little trip... New places will give a feeling of joy and delight, and the rest itself will normalize your emotional condition... If there is no way to leave, then just go camping with friends, go to the country house or just unfamiliar city on weekend.
9. Chat with family and friends more often. Pay attention to the family, start a general cleaning. And on weekends, be sure to go with your friends to the movies, and then to the disco. There you will release all stress through incendiary dances, you will be able to relax and recharge with positive emotions.
10. Enjoy your free time. You finally have free time for yourself. Improve, develop. Find a hobby you like. Maybe it will be drawing, singing, knitting, or reading. You might want to enroll in drama school or aerobics. Sport is an excellent antidepressant, so do not forget to do exercises, jogging in the morning, if time permits, well, you can safely sign up for the gym.

How to forget the guy who dumped?

A rather difficult situation arises when he cheats on her. It's double stress for a girl! She is hurt and offended, and here it is also necessary to forget him, because there is no other choice.

But there is a way out of any situation, so you can use the following tips to quickly forget the guy:

• Allow yourself to do something you've never done in a relationship before. Dance all night in the club, visit a friend for a couple of days. Have fun, wear short skirts and candid dresses... From such actions you will get drive and positive emotionsbecause the forbidden fruit is sweet.
• Change something in yourself: appearance, character, behavior. The wind of change should sweep over you and bring you wonderful changes in the form of a wonderful new hair color, gorgeous haircutsand optimistic outlook for life. As they say, a new life, with a new clean slate
• Promise yourself that you will never return to your ex. Whatever he does, no matter how he asks later, remember that you deserve the best. Why would you put up with such an attitude towards yourself, and be in a relationship where you are not appreciated? Do you value yourself? Then even stop thinking about the possibility of renewing the relationship.
• Be happy for yourself. Fill your day with positive moments: walking, hanging out with friends, watching your favorite movie, reading interesting book... You can even get yourself a pet. Do what you have long wanted and dreamed of. Jump off a parachute, take a beautiful photo shoot, sign up for a Spanish course.
• Don't forget about self-improvement. You must do everything to bring happiness and harmony into your life, because you deserve it like no other.

How to forget a guy who you like unrequitedly?

It also happens that a girl really likes a guy, but he doesn't really like her. He seems to be communicating with her, but there can be no more talk. This is a very sad topic!

Unrequited love is always hard. But you can take advantage of this situation as well:

1. First, think about why you like this guy so much? What attracts you the most about it? What character traits, what behavior attracts you to him. After analyzing the situation, start working with it.
2. Understand that you are precisely his character traits that you yourself lack. Therefore, start working on yourself and develop them in yourself. For example, if your boyfriend is brave and self-confident, then you need to develop these qualities in yourself, and courage and confidence will never hurt. If he is gentle and attentive, then you try to become the same. Over time, you will develop all the missing qualities in yourself, and you will become attractive not only for him, but also for yourself in the first place.
3. Learn to love and appreciate yourself. Improve yourself, encourage yourself for it. You need to understand that until you love yourself, no one will love you. And when you become a full and harmonious person, the same people will be attracted to you.
4. Stop pushing the guy. Do not call or text him. It will only push him away. Instead, focus on your own development. Dive headlong into study, work, sign up for additional courses. Your task now is to try to pay more attention to yourself.
5. Be patient. Your main assistant is time. If it gets really hard, then splash out your emotions on a piece of paper, or tell your best friend what worries you. Mom will also support you and help you in difficult times.
6. Enjoy life. Go to discos, cinema exhibitions and theaters. Try to meet new people. You can register on various thematic sites or forums. Dating sites can help you get over your melancholy too. And if you meet a guy you really like, then be sure to meet him and have a good time. And remember, the best is yet to come.

How to forget your ex-boyfriend?

The most ordeal - this is when you need to forget the person you love madly. But experts advise not to waste their energy on this, they believe that you cannot forcibly forget love. But it can be turned into wonderful memories and valuable lessons can be learned from it.

• First you need to understand that if the relationship did not work out, this does not mean that love has been taken away from you. You just cannot yet enjoy the company of your beloved, make plans for the future with him. But the feeling of love is always with you, no one can take it away. And this wonderful feeling Is the source of true happiness. Therefore, you need to thank life for giving you the opportunity to experience it, even if it hurts.
• You need to sincerely forgive your loved one, remove all claims to him and to yourself. Do not blame anyone for what happened, even if there was a third person who caused your pain.
• If you blame yourself, reflect on your mistakes, promise yourself not to do this again, and sincerely forgive yourself. Understand that if everything happened this way, it means that it was necessary at this particular period of your life. Everything else is just tools in the hands of your destiny.

Pain in relationships - separation, betrayal, come into our lives for a reason. This is necessary in order for us to learn to love regardless of the circumstances. If your relationship has not worked out, then you are not ready yet.

Perhaps you can love only when a person gives you joy, and when he is on you, then yours. Psychologists say that it was not love at all then, but only affection.

• So instead of to tearfully forget a guy, you need to learn. Forgive him everything, stop judging, and start with yourself. Engage in self-development, read and. If it's difficult at all, then go to a psychologist, he will help you transform pain into love and give you a lot of valuable advice.
• Direct all your unspent love into creativity and self-expression. You can achieve amazing results. Be in nature more often, it energizes and takes away all the negativity. Connect with friends, family and share your love and joy with them.

And when you stop returning to the negative, blaming yourself, the guy and life itself, then your pain will go away, and only gratitude will remain. And then, you will begin to attract happiness and love into your life. Perhaps even he will return to you, or another person will come into your life and become your destiny.

Remember that happy, harmonious, filled with love and joy, people are always incredibly attractive.

Psychologist's answer: why can't you forget your ex?

It's been a long time since breaking up with your ex, but you can't forget him? Have you even started dating another guy, but still your thoughts keep returning to your ex? Let's try to understand the reasons for this situation:

• You blame yourself for something. You may think that you have made many mistakes in previous relationship, which served as their final completion. You have a lot of fears in your current relationship and are afraid to repeat the same mistakes. You also have a lot of unsaid things in previous relationships. Therefore, you need to analyze the situation and state all your experiences on a piece of paper. If the situation allows, you can meet with your ex and have a heart-to-heart talk. Ask him the questions that bother you so much. And if this is not possible, then just understand that all people are different: one did not like it, while the other might be delighted with the same.
• Take a closer look at your current relationship. You are clearly not satisfied with something in them, if you constantly return your thoughts to the past. Analyze them: what do you lack in them, what is annoying. Be honest with your partner and try to find a compromise.
• Intimate life. If you had a passionate and eventful intimate life with your past partner, but with your current partner it is somehow boring, then this may be the reason. You remember the partner who brought you more pleasure. Therefore, add variety to your intimate life with your partner, discuss your intimate moments together and share your preferences.
• Stop comparing your ex. All people are completely different, this is how it works in this world, this is the essence. Don't live in the past. Work on your current relationship and develop it.

You need to live only in the present moment, your present. Find the pros and cons in your relationship, because there are actually many of them. And remember what we focus on, this is what increases. So let's see more good things.

Our head is a real labyrinth. Everyone knows the entrance, but few manage to get out.

A lot of psychological theories and practices help to forget about people "toxic" for your life. Unforgotten exes fall into this category.

But for some reason, many forget that the effect is guaranteed only if you work on yourself. It’s not enough to simply obediently reproduce affirmations and convince yourself that everything will be okay.

And if…

How often do you analyze the events that happen in your life? Tell us in the comments.

But let's be honest ... Analysis is not "what would happen if ..." and cry out of self-pity.

Real introspection allows you to evaluate and track the chains of events that make up your life. Understand your real inner state and consider yourself in the people who paint your biography.

And this is directly related to each of your exes.

Take a notebook, pen and write down what will help you to forget HIM! There are three stages to go through:

1. Catharsis

Usually, a breakup triggers a standard set of emotions: pain, resentment, frustration, and a complete lack of understanding.

In modern psychology, there is a concept called catharsis. Imagine that a person is a festive fireworks display in a beautiful package.

Set the fuse on fire - you release energy, put it into something bright. If you hide it in the far corner, the packaging will wrinkle, the fireworks will damp and deteriorate.

In order to emerge from sadness into a new life, and not into depression, allow yourself to realize emotions. What do you want? Screaming, crying, breaking dishes, hiding under a blanket, watching tearful melodramas, drawing, leaving?

GO ON! ACT!

Want to tell him everything? Do this! Record a video message, write a letter about your experiences. Straight with a pen on paper. About what is in HIM, what annoyed me, from what it hurt.

Then hide it. You will re-read / review everything in a week and see yourself from a different angle. This is the beginning of a general cleaning of your life.

Parting without catharsis is self-deception. Well, an interrupted connection cannot but cause any emotions. Even the feeling of emptiness is, in fact, one of the manifestations of sadness.

2. Cleaning

So that the memories and experiences associated with a man do not provoke a spiritual response, it is not enough just to go through.

Your memory (and mine too, by the way) is a very tricky thing and will try to block conflicting memories, leaving only your "best".

And they rushed ... Joint photos, festive and renovated by his hands shower ... and again longing. Just get rid of it all. Throw it in an urn, delete it, forget it.

Yes, even a teddy bear ...

Disassembling deposits (old books, trash on the table, documents, clothes) is one of the simplest and most effective methods in the transition from old to new.

This may take you a weekend, or a week. But the main thing is that the result will not be long in coming.

Allow yourself to take a day off to clean your feathers in a calm atmosphere and start living with renewed vigor.

3. Break

Separation from him is your main goal. At this stage, your psyche and memory will do inexplicable things.

Life will be divided into "before" and "after" the former. There will be a desire to return everything, to see, to explain, to start over, for everything that you were and were not to blame, if only he was there.

First of all, try to stop yourself. If it doesn't work out, call your family and friends who can control you. And they won't make one of the most unpleasant mistakes -

Not that it's taboo. But this very situation is perceived by the majority of women as a mistake and vain hopes, such as: "What if he comes back?"

It is close people who will be able, if not to turn your attention to the positive, then at least not to ring his door after the third glass of wine.

It is important to understand that sooner or later this state will end. And when you survive all this, you will become a pilot of the highest class - and you will be able on the fly, without leaving reality, to look back without pretensions, resentment and anger.

Test of endurance

Breaking an emotional bond is perhaps the most difficult task in those who leave.

Especially for women. Simply by virtue of the emotional perception of the world.

“For some, it is completely inexplicable - love loses its colors. And someone just loses their love ... "- said in one wonderful film.

And each of these cases is a serious test for the psyche. The question is how much you are ready to thank the ex-man for the experience that he received and free the “prisoner” from the prison of your own memory.

I'm sure you can handle it
Yaroslav Samoilov.