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Church fasting Truly, truly, I say to you: you are looking for Me not because you have seen miracles, but because you have eaten the bread and are satisfied. Seek not for corruptible food, but for food that abides in eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you, for the Father, God, has put the seal on Him. Evang. from

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In the comments, it was suggested that this position is rigorous. I would like to know your opinion.

Hieromonk Job (Gumerov) answers:

In spiritual matters, there must be complete clarity of definitions. It is unacceptable to substitute one for the other and confuse two different subjects: the spiritual meaning of fasting as abstinence (not only for the stomach, but for the whole person) and pastoral economy - condescension and considerations of practical benefits in resolving issues of the spiritual life of individual members of the Church.

The fact that the period of fasting is a time of marital abstinence is clearly stated by the Apostle Paul: “Do not deviate from each other, unless by agreement, for a time, for exercise in fasting and prayer and [then] be together again, lest Satan tempt you with your intemperance ”(1 Cor. 7: 5).

To understand this passage, let us turn to the patristic interpretation. I will give an explanation of St. Theophan the Recluse. His method of interpretation is distinguished by an important feature for us: it is based on the entire exegetical experience of the holy fathers that preceded it. His exegesis is final. Secondly, it is close to us in time. The spiritual questions he solves are not much different from ours. Citing the verse we have quoted, the saint writes: “He commands to abstain during fasting for the most fervent prayer: this can go to all church fasts, especially to fasting ... It is evident that the apostle would like to keep abstinence as if it were the law, but converge, only yielding to extreme necessity , which is determined not by desires, but by nature, and even not by nature, but by prudence "( Theophan the Recluse, saint. Interpretation of the Epistle of the Apostle Paul: To the first Corinthians. M., 2006.S. 322).

The Apostle Paul says: “This I speak according to counsel, (but) not according to command” (1 Cor. 7: 6). Saint Gregory the Theologian, to whom there was a reference in one of the comments, only repeated this thought: “I only ask for one thing: accept the gift as a fence, and bring purity from yourself for a time while the days established for prayer, which are more honest than the days of the workers, continue. , and then by mutual condition and agreement (see: 1 Cor. 7: 5). For we do not prescribe the law, but we give advice and we want to take something from yours for you and for your general safety "( Gregory the Theologian , saint. Creations. M., 2007.T. 1.P. 469).

Unlike food, marital abstinence concerns a very delicate and fragile area of \u200b\u200bthe relationship of two, which often (as experience convinces) in their spiritual development differ from each other. Therefore, there is no direct canonical prescription (hence, penance) of abstinence, but still it is a spiritual and moral norm, non-observance of which in the absence of an appropriate reason is a sin that must be confessed.

We must sacredly adhere to the teaching of the Church about fasting as a necessary school, without which we are unlikely to have spiritual fruits. "Abstinence does not consist in moving away from food, nothing in itself insignificant, the consequence of which is the body's lack of mercy, condemned by the apostle (see: Col. 2:23), but in the complete renunciation of his own desires" (St. Basil the Great). The whole life of a Christian should be a constant striving for a high ideal, the achievement of which is impossible without a certain achievement. If we look in the rules for some opportunities to live outside the salutary feat, then we will gradually become equal to the Protestants who have long since abolished fasts and are doing everything to meet the fallen human nature.

All of the above not only does not cancel, but, on the contrary, requires pastoral sensitivity and indulgence in each specific case, when it comes to fasting spouses, if one of them is still spiritually weak.

The statement made in one of the comments that I bless the breakdown of families is not difficult for me to answer with facts. We have an archive of personal letters. For three years and three months we have sent 11 873 letters. I had to answer questions about marital abstinence. I will cite the advice that I gave.

“Dear Dionysius! I really sympathize with you. If your spouse does not yet understand the meaning of the Christian life, including abstinence in fasting, then do not abstain, but give in. Peace in the family is essential. There will be no sin. Most importantly, reveal the fruits of your Christianity: peace, joy, long-suffering, love, and so on. Be attentive to your wife. "

“Dear Anastasia! Relationships with your husband during fasting must be built wisely and sensitively. If he is not yet ready for fasting, then you can give in, but gradually lead him to life according to the holy rules. "

“Dear Oleg! I am aware of the difficulty of your position. Since peace in the family comes first, in order not to strain the relationship, give in to your wife. At the same time, do not forget to reproach yourself and repent ”.

"Dear Elena! I congratulate you on the beginning of the saving Lent. Observe fasting in food, but for the sake of peace in the family (since the husband has not yet become churched), the spouse must yield. So you will quickly lead him to the Church. He will see your wisdom and love for him. Make up for the incompleteness of bodily fasting with spiritual fasting: abstinence of the tongue, non-irritation, non-condemnation, etc. "

I will not bore you further with extracts. From the above extracts it is clear that there is no “rigorism”. But I emphasize that this is a different topic. Unfortunately, some priests who participated in the discussion of the problem of abstinence replaced one question for another. In the spiritual life this always leads to serious mistakes.

The biblical understanding of fasting includes abstaining from physical intimacy for married people. This is one of the characteristics of fasting, but with a proviso, which is not me, but the Holy Spirit through the Apostle Paul in the Epistle says: this abstinence must be under three conditions.

First: mutual agreement. Precisely, so that both agree, and not one side.

Second, abstinence must be for the purpose of fasting and prayer. That is, not abstinence in itself is valuable, but abstinence to strengthen the fast. And third: the time of abstinence must be agreed upon by both spouses.

Great post is long. The entire Fast is about abstinence, and my other half says “no”. So no. How much will you and I abstain? The other half says: “With you? Long. Exactly one and a half days. " Well, and, thank God, that there is so little, that's good - not to suffer.

The strong should enable the weak to set the time. I mean the weak spiritually, not physically. There are more women in the Church, and I must say one very important thing: many women, not knowing masculine nature, demand from men what is easy for a woman, but very difficult for a man. Therefore, I would like to advise women who are married to remember that the head of the family is the husband. Let him decide the question of the amount of abstinence.

And the men wanted to say the following: whoever has zeal for God and abstains ... From the pastoral experience, I came across many times when a husband turned to God, began to go to a monastery, his confessor began to demand from him that he refrain from intimacy with his wife during fasting. And the wife is different, she is half-worldly, she does not have what her husband has. She came to church twice. We talked with her, and she said: "Father, I feel that he is cooling towards me." There is no cooling - just another joy overwhelms him, spiritual. He found something new in himself, which he did not even suspect, but she is experiencing this in a purely earthly, feminine way. For her, the evidence that her husband loves her is important.

Therefore, we, husbands, men in marriage, need, if we abstain, ask ourselves: "How will I compensate for my love for my wife then?" What do I need to do then so that she knows how much I love her? Men have their own peculiarity, women have their own. But the general church rule is that one must abstain by mutual consent, only for the purpose - fasting, prayer. The Apostle Paul writes that also and only for a specified period.

From my priestly experience, I will say that, for example, for young couples getting married, I do not advise even thinking about this topic. I say: "Wait, catch up with us, here you will be 89, let's talk, meet." This is a joke. But in fact, young people should not start with this. First you need to acquire love for each other. And then - to exploits. The main feat is love. Here, to learn in a family, first of all, to yield to your other half and at the same time to experience happiness from victory over your pride. This is more valuable in the eyes of the Almighty than abstaining from intimacy.

"When a couple with a sick child approached John of Kronstadt and asked to pray for the healing of the child, he sharply refused, saying:" You better remember what day you conceived him! " As it turned out, the conception took place on Holy Week. " - "Sretenie", issue # 2 - February 2009.

Archbishop Vikentiy of Yekaterinburg and Verkhotursky: “The overwhelming number of marriages that are concluded during the period of Orthodox fasting do not bring happiness. Modern scholars say that up to 90% of marriages entered into during Lent or other fasts throughout the year are destroyed. And the children who are conceived these days are likely to be sick. " - Interfax-Religion - Here is what the priest Sergiy Nikolaev writes: “According to the testimony of a doctor who has been practicing for more than 40 years, children conceived in fasting are very difficult to treat. I have heard opinions that "guard" children are more difficult to bring up. The sin of intemperate parents can be a breeding ground for the sin or unhappiness of children. There is modern scientific research on why babies are born sick. Studies have shown that 95% of sick children were conceived on fast days, and already from a scientific point of view, medical scientists advise: if spouses want to have healthy offspring, they should refrain from intimacy on fast days. - "Penza Orthodox Interlocutor" No. 11 (52), November 2006, p. 3.

The Monk Seraphim of Sarov pointed out the important role of Christian piety in married life. Here are some advice he gave to one young man getting married: “Keep clean, keep Wednesdays and Fridays (fasting), and holidays and Sundays. For non-keeping of cleanliness, for non-observance of Wednesday and Friday by the spouses, children will be born dead, and if the holidays and Sundays are not kept, the wives die in childbirth ”- Metropolitan Benjamin (Fedchenkov). World lamp // M., "Pilgrim", Orthodox St. Tikhon's Theological Institute. 1996, p. 191.

The Monk Ambrose of Optina wrote the same in one of his letters to the laity: "The illness of your wife, perhaps, occurred through your own fault: either they did not honor the holidays in marital relations, or they did not observe marital fidelity, for which you are punished with the illness of your wife." Or another example. One couple had a son who showed some deformity of the soul. The Monk Leonid Optinsky said that this was the punishment of his parents for their non-observance of church holidays in family life. - About Orthodox marriage. SPb., "The Society of St. Basil the Great." 2001, p. 96.

The Orthodox Church calls on her children, according to the pious tradition, to abstain by mutual consent by fasting and during the days of great holidays from marital relations. However, situations are very different. It happens that the unbelieving spouse insists on marital intimacy, and the rejection of it will lead to the disintegration of the family. It happens that a sailor husband returns from a long journey during the fasting period, and then goes back to sea. Therefore, this issue is resolved individually with a confessor for each family. The Lord sends the child to the spouses; without His will, conception will not take place. Therefore, I would advise during the period of fasting to refrain from intimacy and purely pray at this time for the gift of a child after fasting. It's one thing if one of the spouses is an unbeliever or, let's say, unchurched. Everything is clear here: a person does not know what fasting is. And to demand from him compulsory observance of marital fast means subjecting him (and with it himself) to trials, the consequences of which can be very deplorable. The Apostle writes: “Do not deviate from one another, unless by agreement” (1 Cor. 7.5). And with an unbelieving spouse, agreement on marital fasting is not easy to achieve. But there is another side to the question: what if both spouses are believers and churchly, if both live a Christian spiritual life, confess and receive communion? And what if they are already close to that "like-mindedness of souls and bodies" for which the Church prays in the Sacrament of the Wedding, but one of them wanted to break the marital fast? The fact is that here the agreement already exists in advance: both spouses agree that fasting must be observed in all respects. Against this background, the desire of one of them to break the fast looks like a whim, or a temptation. In this case, does he need to go to hell? Ideally no. In my opinion, if both spouses are already living a church life, the refusal of one of them to enter into a marital relationship during fasting will serve the general benefit, and the other half will subsequently only be grateful for this. However, in real life, not everything is as simple as we would like. Therefore, there are no universal rules on the observance or violation of marital fast and cannot be. And if the issue of marital relations during fasting worries you, discuss it with an experienced confessor, whose opinion you trust - I think he will give you good advice on how to act in your particular situation. Priest Mikhail Nemnonov

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The Orthodox Church distinguishes between multi-day and one-day fasts.
The basic rule: WEDNESDAY and FRIDAY throughout the year, except for Christmastide and continuous weeks, are strictly fasting days (unless there is special permission to relax the fast). In some monasteries, they also fast on Mondays (in honor of the Angels). Then, there are 4 large fasts per year:
1) Great Lent - 40 days; He is joined by Passion Week - the last week before the Bright Resurrection of Christ - Easter; movable post.
2) Peter's fast begins a week after Pentecost (Trinity Day) and ends on July 12, Peter's day; mobile post, of varying duration.
3) Assumption - a two-week fast from 14 to 27 August.
4) Forty-day Christmas fast from November 28 to January 6.
In addition, the following are considered strictly lean:
Day of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross (September 27)
day of the Beheading of St. Forerunner and Baptist of the Lord John (11 September)
Christmas Eve (January 6)
and Epiphany Eve (Eve of the Epiphany) - January 18

On intimacy in the post. We offer the answers of Father Daniil Sysoev to the questions of parishioners about marital relations during fasting.

Tell me why the current Orthodox tradition strictly regulates the time of abstinence from marital relations: multiple fasts, Christmastide, a week after Easter, Wednesday and Friday? Why does the apostle say that the time of abstinence from physical relations is the business of the spouses themselves, i.e.« by mutual agreement», and in the church, breaking such fasts is considered a sin?

I know of examples when wives refused to have intimacy with their husbands during fasting. As a result, serious family scandals arose, in the end the wife yielded, and then fled to repent of "intemperance from married life." And this idea of \u200b\u200bfasting is perceived by us as a dogma. Moreover, the opinion is imposed that children conceived in fasting are flawed. I know of another example when a wife's attempts to observe such fasts pushed her husband away from the Orthodox Church. I think this case is far from an isolated one.

Indeed, in the Holy Scripture there is a rule of the Apostle Paul: “And what you wrote to me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But, in order to avoid fornication, everyone should have his own wife, and each should have her own husband. Husband show his wife due favor; like a wife also to a husband. The wife has no power over her body, but the husband; likewise, the husband has no power over his own body, but the wife. Do not shy away from each other, perhaps by agreement, for a while, for exercise in fasting and prayer, and then again be together, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance. However, I said this as permission, not as a command. For I wish that all people were like me; but each has his own gift from God, one this way, the other differently ”(1 Cor. 7: 1-7). On this basis, since ancient times, there has been a norm in the Church of abstaining from conjugal cohabitation during fasting. But, unlike food prohibitions, for the violation of which without a good reason the canons are called excommunication from St. Communion ( Rule 69 of St. apostles), the sacred rules say: “Those who marry themselves must be reigning judges. For they heard Paul writing, as if it is proper to abstain from each other, by agreement, until the time, in order to practice prayer, and then packs of being. " (4 rule of St. Dionysius of Alexandria).

Also says and Rule 13 of Timothy of Alexandria:

Question 13: To those who mate in the communion of marriage, on which days of the week must they abstain from intercourse with one another, and on which days should they be entitled to it?

Answer: before the rivers I, and now I say, the apostle says: do not deprive yourself of one another, only by agreement, until the time, but abide in prayer: and gather together again, may Satan not tempt you with your intemperance (1 Cor. 7.5). However, it is necessary to abstain on the Sabbath and Sunday, because in these days the spiritual sacrifice is offered to the Lord. ».

This prohibition itself is connected with the fact that it is assumed (according to the 8th Canon of the Holy Apostles) that a Christian participates at each Liturgy, and according to the 5th Canon of Timothy of Alexandria, he should not receive Communion after marriage.

The holy fathers who interpret this verse taught in a similar way. St. John Chrysostom says: “What does this mean? The wife should not, he says, abstain against the will of her husband, and the husband should not abstain against the will of his wife. Why? Because from this abstinence comes a great evil; from this there were frequent fornication, fornication and domestic disorder. For if others, having their wives, indulge in adultery, how much more will they indulge in it if they are deprived of this consolation. Well said: do not deprive yourself; for to abstain from one person against the will of the other means to deprive, but by will, it is not. So, if you take anything from me with my consent, it will not be a deprivation for me; the one who takes against his will and forcibly deprives. This is done by many wives, violating justice and thus giving husbands a reason for debauchery and all leading to frustration. Unanimity should be preferred to everything; it is most important. If you want, we will prove it by experience. Let the wife of two spouses abstain, while the husband does not want to. What will happen? Will he not indulge in adultery, or if he does not commit adultery, will he not grieve, worry, be annoyed, angry, and cause a lot of trouble to his wife? What is the use of fasting and abstinence when love is broken? No. How much grief will inevitably arise from this, how much trouble, how much strife! If in the house the husband and wife do not agree with each other, then their house is no better than a ship overwhelmed by waves, on which the helmsman does not agree with the ruler of the helm. That is why the Apostle says: do not deprive yourself of one another, by agreement until the time, but abide in fasting and prayer. Here he means prayer, performed with special care, for if he forbade those who are copulating to pray, how could the commandment of unceasing prayer be fulfilled? Therefore, it is possible to copulate with a wife and pray: but with abstinence, prayer is more perfect. Do not just say: Yes, pray, but: Yes, abide in prayer, because the marriage business only distracts from this, and does not produce defilement. And pack together, let Satan not tempt you. So that they don't think that it is – law, attaches and reason. Which one? Let not Satan tempt you. And so that they know that the Devil is not only the culprit of adultery, he adds: « your intemperance"- this is how St. John Chrysostom interprets these words.

Likewise, St. Gregory the Theologian, exhorting those preparing for Baptism, writes: “I ask you about one thing: accept the gift as a fence, and bring purity from yourself for a time while the days established for prayer, which are more honest than the days of the workers, continue; and then by mutual condition and agreement. For we do not prescribe the law, but give advice, and we want to take from you and for your general safety. "

Thus, the position of the Church can be expressed as follows - it is good and useful for the soul to abstain from conjugal communion during the days of fasting, but this should not be against the will of one of the spouses. How long this abstinence should last is beyond their own conscience to decide. The only ecclesiastical restriction is the prohibition of carnal communication before the sacrament. It was established in the Old Testament, when before the coming of the Lord to Mount Sinai, the people were commanded to refrain from wives for three days Ex. 19:15

And he said to the people: be ready for the third day; don't touch wives.

The position of those who argue that a relationship in marriage is possible only when weddings are allowed is completely unjustified. In fact, the ban on weddings on some days is due to the fact that because of the fast or the upcoming festive services, the marriage feast cannot be performed (explanation of St. Simeon of Thessaloniki), and not with the ban on carnal communication. Moreover, according to the rules of the ancient Church, on the night after the wedding, marriage was not approved.

The very attempt to impose marital fast as mandatory on those days when you cannot get married, in fact, is, as Chrysostom said, pushing people to commit adultery. After all, if you strictly follow the norms put forward by some modern confessors, then it turns out that you can have marital relations less than a third of days a year (from 115 to 140), which will lead (especially in modern depraved times) only to the destruction of families, which, in fact, observed.

All the more, it is unacceptable to consider children conceived by fasting as somehow flawed or damned. This statement is not based on the Scriptures and the writings of the Church Fathers. It condemns without guilt millions of our contemporaries, whom our parents conceived at the “wrong time,” although God says that children do not bear the guilt of their father. All this intimidation is fundamentally contrary to the very spirit of gospel freedom, which advises but does not impose. Recall that the desire for abstinence, according to St. Gregory the Theologian:« not law, but advice». But this, of course, does not mean our disregard for the apostolic counsel, because the spiritual benefits of abstinence are obvious.

“I was always very indignant with a phrase like:« And they lived clean». Every Orthodox person perfectly understands what it is about, so often it is used both in literature and in colloquial speech. What about the words of Scripture« The marriage is honest and the bed is undefiled»? After all, it is logical to conclude that if one state is clean, then the other, on the contrary, is dirt !?

The other state is not purity, but it is not filthy either. Marriage is the natural state of man in a fallen world, blessed by the Lord in Cana of Galilee. Therefore, in the prayers of the Wedding, we ask you to make the marriage honest and the bed not bad. But celibacy for Christ's sake is much higher. It is a supernatural virtue that makes man equal to the angels. But at the same time, abstinence, which occurs due to the oppression of marriage, the Church considers as a reason for anathema (14th Canon of the Gangres Council, 51st Canon of the Holy Apostles).

Hello! Father, thank you for touching upon such delicate and at the same time important topics. I have accumulated several similar questions, but I am always somehow uncomfortable discussing them with the parish priest. If you find it necessary, maybe you will answer them. Thanks in advance. And further. I understand that these are not the most important questions in our life, but I would like to clarify them for myself once and for all in order to avoid embarrassment of all kinds. 1. Is it possible to bring an infant to Communion in the morning if there was a conjugal relationship at night? 2. Is it possible on this day to go to church at all, to kiss the icons, St. relics and come to the anointing, or the person is considered unclean all day (and where is the “bed without blemish”?). Is it possible at home to light candles and a lamp, to taste holy and baptismal water and prosphora? 3. Is the night of the Sacrament Day considered marital fast?

The Apostle Paul said: "marriage is honest and the bed is not shameless," the prayers of the Sacrament of Marriage speak about. Therefore, it is impossible to talk about the uncleanness of the matrimonial bed if there was no sin (any unnatural relationship). Therefore, after marriage, you can touch any shrine and bring the child to the Holy Chalice. Only participation in St. The sacraments are in accordance with the rule of Timothy of Alexandria. On the day after communion, one should also keep oneself from the nearness of "love for the sake of the heavenly King" (according to the Serviceman). But nowhere is anything said about the next night. A new day begins and there are no prohibitions on it.

Father, tell me what to do. My husband is not a very churchly person, but a few months ago he declared that marital relations in a room with icons on the wall is impossible. I asked who told him about this? The answer was: "I know." But, as far as I know, icons should be in every room. And how then to be? And if there is only one room? This argument did not convince her husband. Can he be right to some extent?

The apostle Paul said: “ the marriage is fair and the bed is not bad". Therefore, marital coexistence can in no way desecrate icons. A Christian should always have icons in sight, so as never to forget God, who sees everything. Therefore, your husband is wrong. Icons can and should be over the family bed. So, by the way, you can protect yourself from various abuses of marriage.

about. Daniil Sysoev

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