Why is the guy alone. I could never be a man. I am a weakling and a mattress, and often roar under the covers. And no one will say a word to me. I won't say a word to myself. And real heroes have a tough taboo on self-pity. Why are guys lonely

Male loneliness has long ceased to be a unique phenomenon. Formally, every sixth man is single, and every fifth man is actually single. The stereotype that a bachelor looks like an unshaven, tastelessly dressed and constantly hungry man is a relic of the past. The modern lonely representative of the stronger sex is most often well dressed, fit and perfectly shaven.

He cooks wonderfully, can easily iron trousers or a shirt, he always has perfect order in his apartment. From the material side, a loner does not experience problems. But it should be noted that all this applies only to men who do not abuse alcohol.

However, the psycho-emotional state, due to loneliness, especially in men, if they are over 40, is quite deplorable. Of course, exceptions to the rules are possible, but according to statistics, single individuals live 5-10 years less than family people.

The first step is embracing loneliness

First of all, before getting rid of loneliness, considering ways to deal with it, you need a clear understanding of the fact that you are still lonely. Many people, even on their own, cannot admit this. You should seriously think about the situation around you, and really assess the state of affairs. So, after the phase of realizing your loneliness, you need to do the following:

• After realizing the abandonment, express your feelings about this, in actions or deeds. It will be great if you keep a journal in which you display your thoughts with the utmost sincerity.
• If you are a creative person, take up writing music, playing musical instruments, or painting. The meaning of these actions is to convey the essence of loneliness in full, and through creativity, all negativity could find a way out.
• You should feel, and forever understand the difference between loneliness and solitude. In the first case, a man suffers from abandonment, she brings him pain, he is very worried about this. For a man, if he has experienced a breakup, it is difficult, without communication with an individual person, he may need a familiar way of life, in a large company, etc. In the second case, a person receives pleasure from the silence surrounding him, and from the inner state when he is alone with his own "I".

One should not confuse loneliness, with the state if a man lives, for any reason, isolated from society, while not losing the desire for communication.

How to overcome loneliness for a man?

After you have effectively worked on accepting abandonment, you need to start a full-scale fight against this condition.

Enjoy your privacy

As mentioned earlier, solitude is fundamentally different from loneliness. Therefore, try to enjoy spending time alone with your "I".

When solitude begins to bore you, do not become obsessive with the people who are shipping you. To overcome this unpleasant state of thirst for communication, walking and cycling, with headphones in your ears, in which your favorite music is played, will help. Well removes psychological stress, swimming in a pool or open water.

In solitude, do not limit yourself to a certain framework. Learn to get along with yourself, stop being dependent on society, feel free.

It is very good if you enjoy reading. Books should be chosen in such a way that they are, for example, trilogies, or higher. Read books one by one, and this will not only increase your erudition, but also enjoy your time.

Also, men should not forget about such a physiological need as sex. Regular exercises with it are the prevention of various male diseases that can occur due to stagnation in the pelvic organs. For example, abstinence can provoke the development of prostatitis or vesiculitis, as well as the development of cysts in these organs.

If, due to loneliness, full-fledged sex is almost impossible, then men are advised to do "relaxation" on their own, at least 2-3 times a week, in order to maintain normal men's health.

Get a pet

It is quite difficult for a man, like a woman, to live alone, so the appearance of a four-legged pet in the house will have a positive effect on the situation. After all, pets are the best and most devoted friends. They are able to wait for the owner home for days, and when he returns, they are always sincerely happy. Get yourself a dog, and her love for you will bring new colors to your life.

But it should be understood that a pet is not a toy. You will have to look after him, take him out for walks, buy food for him, and vaccinate him. If additional employment is not a hindrance for you, then the problem of how to deal with loneliness will be solved by itself.

Get busy

When doing nothing, a person has a lot of time, as a result of which, obsessive thoughts may appear, leading to stiffness and self-doubt. At this moment, as luck would have it, there is no one to talk to, everyone is busy with something, and the individual begins to feel very lonely.

Sit back is highly discouraged if you are seriously dealing with the problem of how to get rid of loneliness. Try to keep your day busy. If you have a free minute, take a walk, go to the gym, redo your household chores, etc. If you find yourself a hobby, then it will also fill all your free time. At the same time, all obsessive thoughts that you were abandoned by everyone, which once led you to a depressed state, will appear less and less often, and soon, they will go away forever.

Having found something to your liking, develop in this direction. Attend various educational events, meet new people with the same interests as yours. Some of them may become your friends in the future, the question of how to overcome loneliness will be resolved by itself.

Get serious about sports

It is no secret that a beautiful, toned body increases a man's self-esteem, and physical activity itself improves mood. Buy a gym membership and don't miss a workout. Visit stores that sell sports nutrition. A healthy lifestyle should be a priority for you.

Also, martial arts (karate, judo, kickboxing, aikido and others) are wonderful sports options for men. Regularly studying in sections, you will no doubt find people with similar interests, with whom it will not be boring to spend your free time.

If it is not possible to visit the sports sections, you can do morning jogging in the park, and in winter - skiing. Forget the elevator, get into the habit of walking up to your floor. If the distance to your place of work is not too great, be sure to walk to it.

For some men, due to their individual characteristics of the psyche, it is very difficult to cope with abandonment, and even more so, to independently decide how to overcome it. All their attempts to change the situation, for the better, lead to disappointment, and often - to prolonged depression. In this case, the help of a psychologist will be extremely important.

Do not "drown" in the social. networks

Remember, the internet can never replace live communication. You should not plunge headlong into the virtual world and thus isolate yourself from society, finding comfort in such communication. Apart from addiction, virtual friendships will not end well.

• Use social networks to communicate with friends, within reasonable limits, and only in order to make a real meeting in a cafe, cinema, or other place to relax.
• Join various interest groups and also strive to meet people of interest to you.
• Before each new meeting, study well the information about the person you are going to meet. Do not drag out a meeting in the real world for a long time. Try to meet new people as quickly as possible. Otherwise, they may lose interest in you. Why date people you don't care about?

It is very important for a man to maintain a positive mood in any situation, especially if he communicates with people unfamiliar to him. Complaining about your hard life, or about your former half, is a sign of weakness and cowardice. Remember, showing weakness in any issue is unacceptable for a man.

How much has been said and written about female loneliness! However, you won’t surprise anyone: according to demographic statistics, there are only seven or eight “suitors” for ten ladies, and even less with age. But it is all the more striking that among these men - smart, educated, successful and independent - there are bachelors. Relationships with them become a real test for those seeking female happiness, because the main and, perhaps, the only phobia of these "knights" is marriage.

Loneliness in men

Among the reasons that turn mature men into "eternal bachelors", of course, there are pathological ones. This is both infantilism, which firmly tied the "marriageable groom" with the mother, and social phobia, forcing the unsociable to lock himself at home, and inadequate self-esteem, which gives rise to an irresistible complex in a man or, on the contrary, makes him a "narcissist." And some bachelors from childhood are not used to building close relationships. Getting to know women and caring for them, choosing the right words and taking decisive steps ... For such men it is constant stress, an inaccessible art, which they had nowhere to learn, and over time, as if there was no need.
"Oppression is not a pathology!" - the ladies who have been waiting for months from the "modest" an invitation to a date will object with hope. Alas, this is not trivial modesty, but "loner syndrome", from which only an experienced psychotherapist can save a man. And, perhaps, he will not cope with this task either. After all, in order to turn to a specialist, you need to admit the problem yourself, and men who have been avoiding communication with women for years are afraid of any changes. It is not difficult to recognize a "pathological bachelor". To do this, it is enough to get rid of "rose-colored glasses" and take a closer look at a free stranger - a friend or colleague - more attentively. And, finally, to give up once and for all the hopeless desire to one day get his hand and heart, and in addition to them - his depressing "features".
However, it happens that even after careful "dissection" of shortcomings, a man remains a "knight" - mature, caring and ... unapproachable. Following such a glance, how not to ask the question: "An eternal bachelor - necessarily a man with a problem?"
We decided to ask about this from the "culprits" of our worries themselves, who, having grown a beard, bought an apartment and held leadership positions, still do not think about getting married.

Broken happiness

Maxim, 34, top manager, single: There are many beautiful women around me. Charming, intelligent, with impeccable taste, household ... Such as Nina, with whom I met for almost five years, before one day I did not learn from our mutual friends that she had another. I dreamed of making her happy, but if she talked to me, admitted that she was in love, I would just wish her luck.
However, she probably didn't want to lose me until she realized how serious her new man was about her. So I became a "fallback".
Every evening, when I came home from work, I expected a serious conversation. But Nina was silent, and after that she even became somehow softer. Probably, the other one turned out to be “unpromising”. She loved to repeat this word ...
After several months of tense anticipation, I left her myself. Quietly packed up his bags and moved out of the rented apartment, paying her rent for six months in advance. For a while she called me and listened to long beeps, and then, apparently, she realized that she had no future with me ...
I watch every girl I like. I wonder if she's capable of running out on dates without the man she falls asleep next to every night. And although almost three years have passed since the day of separation from Nina, i'm not ready to believe the woman yet.
Tatiana Kurchatova, psychologist comments: Unfortunately, love is passing. But the greatest pain we are caused not by plans for a common future that have shattered against reality, but by disappointment in a partner and in feelings as such. Women who think men deal with breakups easier and faster are wrong. Education and stereotypes do not allow the "stronger sex" to show their experiences. Therefore, men accumulate resentments and fears, which over the years turn into an irresistible unwillingness to get closer to someone.
“Wounded” once, a bachelor tries to look at a woman as a friend, even if he is not indifferent to her. He is simply afraid of repeating the unfortunate "script".
However, this does not mean that a broken heart cannot be healed. Become a real friend for a single man, earn his trust. Let him understand that you are patient and not just “walk by”, but want to stay in his life. As you know, water wears away even a stone. Moreover, under a flawlessly ironed shirt your "eternal bachelor" hides not a stone, but, on the contrary, a very sensitive heart.
However, be prepared for unpleasant "surprises". Having recovered with your help from the traumas of the past, a man can introduce you to his new darling at the next "friendly" dinner. And it is unlikely that gratitude for the fact that you "changed his life" will soften the blow from falling from a height of unfulfilled hopes.

Actively looking

Nikolay, 40 years old, lawyer, single: Male loneliness is not about me! I don’t remember when at least a couple of months my apartment did not smell of homemade cabbage soup and was not cleaned. From work I am always met by a woman who seems to me perfect. True, until I get to know another - even more suitable for me.
Sometimes I think that I have finally found the one in front of which I'm ready to kneel down and, blushing, swear the oath of allegiance, putting the ring on her graceful finger. I even went to a jewelry store once. I wanted to go out with a velvet box in my pocket, and instead got the phone number of a new, amazing girlfriend.
Is there an excuse for this behavior? I just really love women.
Tatyana Kurchatova: Alas, to finish the many years of "wandering" of this bachelor, the ability to cook the most delicate kulebyaka and sew like a hereditary dressmaker is not enough. Even deep cleavage, stockings and push-up underwear will not help.
Unfortunately, this man's passion for a hunter has long "drowned out" the instinct of self-preservation, which, after thirty, persistently whispers to bachelors that it is high time to "moor" to a safe family harbor. Perhaps only a child can send the "hunter" into the orbit "home - work - home".
Surprisingly, such men value children more than their own freedom. And if someday the beloved still resumes his "active search", your son or daughter with him will always be more important to him than another long-legged hobby.
Wake up a caring father in the chosen one, and perhaps you will get what you want - a husband. Quite frivolous, though. But there's nothing you can do about it: there are such men - bachelors by vocation.

Breadwinner's complex

Alexey, 38 years old, minibus driver, divorced: Relationship? I don't even have time for that. My daughter will go to school soon. The ex-wife asked for help with money. And you also need to send your mother and father to a sanatorium, visit your sister and nephews - you can't go to them empty-handed either! So I work, when it turns out, in two shifts. And then I return home exhausted and immediately go to bed. I'm used to it. I don't need anything else. But would any woman be satisfied with such a life?
Tatyana Kurchatova: A jack of all trades, reliable, prudent and tireless ... Such a man seems ideal. But, alas, not only for you.
If a "hyperresponsible" bachelor refuses to have a cup of coffee with you under any pretext, most likely he is either rushing to his ex to paint her balcony frames, or he spent his last money buying his niece an expensive Barbie doll. And he would gladly open the door to his life in front of you, but on the other hand, ex-wives, children, elderly parents, friends - everyone for whom your man is “responsible” “props up” it with a load of their own problems. Or he thinks he is answering.
The "hyperresponsible" bachelor is not hopeless, but only a flint woman can oust from his life the eternally needy second cousins \u200b\u200band put his insolent ex-wives in their place.
If, instead of an “iron” character, you have an angelic character, then you risk either hearing a polite “forgive me - goodbye” from the chosen one, or share his difficult burden with him - when instead of other people's lives you most want to arrange your own.

Strength is in weakness

Andrey, 46 years old, an English teacher, not married: My sister constantly complains to me that men allegedly have excessive demands on women. Like, give us only photo models who will sit at home, cook three-course dinners and raise children for us.
I argue with her, because the truth is in her words - only that it is really important for us to be strong and provide for the family, and not willingly shift this responsibility onto fragile female shoulders.
I've never been married, but not because I'm afraid of commitment. It's just that until now I have only met women who, it seemed, did not need a husband. They were in control of everything - even our relationship. Although this was precisely what killed the intimacy.
I don't need a housewife, but even less want to marry a house-ruler. I do not despair of one day meeting a woman who will allow me to be a leader, not a follower. But so far, alas, I don’t know such.

A person in this world is always alone. Even people with families and children can be lonely. The fact is that the internal state is less dependent on the environment. And male loneliness is a conscious or unconscious choice of a person. A self-sufficient person with strong convictions will never feel lonely. What is the cause of mental decline and how to get rid of oppressive feelings, read below.

Male loneliness

Someone might think that loneliness is the temporary physical absence of suitable people around. But actually it is not. The male opinion about loneliness is this: a person who knows what he wants, has unshakable life values \u200b\u200band knows the value of his words, will not feel lonely. Only that person who is torn apart by mental anguish and who does not know how to properly manage his own life will be tormented by the search for the meaning of his existence. A person needs support and support nearby. But the personality must be complete in itself. You don't need to look for the meaning of life in someone. A person who does not find much pleasure in spending time in his company should understand that others will be bored with such a person. Therefore, you should not get rid of loneliness by filling it with another person. First you need to solve all your internal problems and only then look for a person with a similar system of interests and values.

pros

Many men do not mind being alone until a certain point. Up to 30 years old, young people prefer to be a bachelor and build a career. What are the advantages of male loneliness?

• The freedom of action. Men love to be the masters of their lives. They like freedom, which opens up many possibilities. You don't have to think about someone else's desires other than your own.
• Lack of responsibility. Another plus of male loneliness is the ability not to think about someone other than yourself. Responsibility for the family is simply unthinkable for many of the stronger sex in 20 years. You need to gain experience in order to be able to manage your business and make the right decisions.
• An opportunity to build a career. Male loneliness is good when it is beneficial. Being able to devote all of your time to building your career is very important. A person who arranges affairs before the creation of a family will be able to achieve more than an individual who will arrange affairs with a burden in the form of a wife and children.

Minuses

Men can only enjoy life when they are self-sufficient. But to find yourself, you need to go through a thorny path. And not everyone can go through life alone. What are the downsides to being alone?

How to overcome male loneliness? Psychological advice that experts give comes down to one simple thought: to eliminate the effect, you need to find the cause. A person who cannot get rid of an oppressive feeling must understand why it arises in his soul. It's foolish to think that the right girl will solve all problems. The root of loneliness lies deep within. A man who is busy with what he loves, has good friends, can support any conversation, and will be successful with women. And closed men who are afraid to open their mouths in the company of beautiful ladies will cause pity, but not admiration. Many poems have been written about male loneliness. They reflect the essence of the problems of the strong half of humanity. Men are too often afraid to show the world their true emotions.

If you suffer from loneliness, consider if everything is as good in your life as you think. Do a simple test. Draw a circle and divide it into 6 parts. Label each part in accordance with the main areas of life: health, career, friends, love, family, leisure. Put a point in each sphere as close to the outer circle as you develop this or that area of \u200b\u200blife. Ideally, you should have an even circle. If you have got a spider, then you can easily understand what area of \u200b\u200blife you need to develop in order to get rid of inner inferiority.

All the problems from childhood

You can see photos of male loneliness in expensive glossy magazines. Even successful and beautiful people do not feel self-sufficient. Why? All human problems lie in his childhood. Think about what the relationship was like in your family when you were little. How you were raised, how dad treated mom. If the father beat his mother, scolded her all the time and said that all women are fools, then the boy involuntarily believed this statement. Growing up, the man began to seek confirmation of his father's words. And he who seeks will always find. It is not surprising that a young and handsome guy will remain lonely if he constantly tries to find flaws in any of the girls he likes.

The situation becomes even more difficult if the boy did not have a father as a child. The role of the main man in life could be taken by one of the relatives. Unwittingly making an idol of a person who was a teacher, the boy could pick up on his life beliefs. And it is difficult for a child who grew up in an incomplete family to get rid of the feeling of inferiority. From childhood, the boy understood that not all families live peacefully and that divorce is quite natural. In such a situation, you need to independently or with the help of a psychologist get rid of the statements inherent in childhood, rewriting them for new ones.

Low self-esteem

What is the reason for male loneliness? Psychologists say that those representatives of the stronger sex who suffer from low self-esteem are more likely to face loneliness. Men consider themselves unworthy of love. A girl cannot fall in love with a man who considers himself unworthy of her. Moreover, the guy can subconsciously inspire the chosen one with the confidence that she is adorable and can find someone better.

To change the situation, the guy must reconsider his attitude towards himself. Moreover, the changes should not be external, but internal. But if a man is not satisfied with his appearance, first of all he needs to do it. Everyone knows what they meet by their clothes. A fat man needs to lose weight, a guy who dresses in rags should flip through glossy magazines and learn about current trends. Having changed your clothes and pumped up your body, you can move on to working out your inner qualities. You should write down your strengths and weaknesses on a piece of paper, and then get rid of the shortcomings.

Hobby

What is one of the reasons for male loneliness? There is a lot of free time. A person who is constantly engaged in self-flagellation has a clear excess of time that can be spent on self-development. The guy must come up with an activity that will fascinate him. It can be sports training, construction, programming, or education. A person who is busy will not cheat himself and think about his own insolvency. An enthusiastic person will be interesting not only for himself, but also for others. If a guy does not have a couple, then he can easily find a girl by going to a club of interests. For example, a man who enjoys reading might enroll in a literary club. From time to time, attending events at which different people will gather to discuss books, the guy will be able to find himself a lady who shares his interests.

Life goals

Anyone should know where he is going. If a guy has no plans, his future will seem very cloudy to him. And this fact will oppress a person. Male loneliness after 30 years is found in poor men who have no idea why they came to this world. A person who learns something new every day and seeks to realize their plans will be passionate about life. Loneliness will not accompany such a person. A person who communicates with several dozen people every day can easily find a soul mate.

If you still don't have a purpose in life, then it's time to find it. Sit down and write down everything you've ever wanted to do. Remember all dreams - both big and small. You will disassemble them later. If you already know exactly who you want to become, then do not delay the implementation of the plan for long. Sign up for appropriate courses where you gain the skills you need to fulfill your goal. And small dreams can become vacation plans. Don't be afraid to take risks and do crazy things. They will help you gain the necessary experience and become an interesting person.

Second half

A person attracts those people whom he deserves. And this is not some kind of prophecy, but a real fact. The person always chooses his environment from the type that he considers cute. Male loneliness is an indicator of bad choices. But if a person does not change, then over and over again he will step on the same rake. You've probably noticed that most men choose girls of the same type. And this applies not only to appearance. For example, someone is attracted by a bitchy character, and someone is attracted by reverence and obedience. Someone likes bright girls, while others prefer modest persons. It is worth remembering that if you make the same choice all the time, there is no point in waiting for different results. If a man burns himself against a girl who preferred an open relationship, then there is no point in taking the same rake. It is better to look for a lady who will want to start a family, and not a person who wants to take a walk and get a lot of new impressions. Always be mindful when choosing a girl. A lady should be attractive not only outside but also inside. You need to pay attention to the interests and values \u200b\u200bof the lady. If they coincide with yours, consider that you made the right choice. But relationships are not so simple. It's not enough just to find the right person. You need to be able to maintain love and make concessions.

Friends

Male loneliness is not only the absence of a soul mate. A person will not feel lonely if faithful friends are next to him. Any man should have at least two friends with whom you can talk heart to heart, discuss your problems and ask for advice. There may be many friends in life, but the best friends should be chosen especially carefully. These should be time-tested people who can be relied on and who can be trusted with their secrets. They say that male friendships are more reliable than female ones. You will have to check this on your own experience. And in order not to be convinced of the incorrectness of the saying, think about who you admit to your social circle.

Is it possible to live without friends? It is possible, but difficult. If a person does not have close friends, he will feel loneliness more clearly than if he does not have a soul mate. A girl cannot always share men's interests, and not all thoughts can be told to her. Therefore, take care of finding like-minded people in a timely manner, because every year it will be more difficult to find friends.

Family

The person who is loved is always striking. If a man has a loving family, then he will never suffer from loneliness. And this applies not only to the wife and children, but also to parents and relatives. A man should maintain normal relationships with mom, dad, brothers and sisters. It is these people who will love a person not for some achievements, but for the very fact of his existence. Male loneliness is the absence of like-minded people and loved ones nearby. But you don't always need to look for love on the side. It can be found in the family. Whatever the parents are, they are the one and only. They always want their children to be happy and are ready to sacrifice their interests for their good. Sisters and brothers are best friends who sometimes know you even better than you do. Close people will help in a difficult situation, they will always give good advice and will not intrusively meddle into your life. The care and attention that your family shows to your candidacy should be appreciated. If a man sacrifices normal relations with relatives for the sake of a girl, this will come back to haunt him many times. You can change the lady of the heart, but you cannot find a replacement for your parents. Remember this always.

The article proposes a simple solution to one of the most difficult problems that many men face and which haunts many, because not everyone can pick-up in 5 minutes or something like that, and not everyone can keep a woman for a long time or forever.

How to live alone for a man without a goal and how to find yourself

In order for a man not to suffer from a lonely life, he needs to switch his attention to more important issues: working on himself and his environment.

The important thing in the life of a single man is work on removing all prejudices. After all, the designation of loneliness as something bad is a stereotype imposed by society. After all, quite often, if you sit down and think carefully, listen to your own desires and thoughts, it may turn out that without unnecessary obligations it is not so bad.

Only a man who does not need to constantly solve the problems of a woman walking next to life is able to fully engage in self-development, spend all his free time on satisfying his own desires and looking for himself.

How to live alone for a man after a divorce

Take care of your own health. Undergo a complete medical examination, if any problems are found, find their causes and solutions. If all is well with health, there is an opportunity to engage in prevention: exercise, yoga, stabbing, herbal medicine.

If there were children in a broken marriage, then you should think about securing their future. After all, sooner or later they will go to study, create their own family, give birth to your grandchildren. At such moments, they need the help of their parents, and not only moral, but quite often also material.

1. Do everything possible in order to self-actualize.

2. Give up excuses and start doing what seems impossible.

3. Do everything possible to improve yourself regularly.

4. Charge yourself with positive and enthusiasm from others.

5. To cultivate in oneself the idea that all people are different and similar cannot be.

What do men want and how to provide them with a problem that they have to face constantly, therefore it is not surprising that many want to find from ...

Why is this happening? Almost any society in general is very aggressive: people get angry at black cats, at leisurely drivers in front, at lost keys and most of all at each other. Why aggression in people flooded all tolerance, leaving only small islands of it, is a question for another story. But why exactly do women get such a good portion of hatred from single men?

Imagine a situation when nature tells you to look for a mate, but your mate does not want to be found by you. You are a young guy, and your peers are looking at you as if through glass, jumping briskly after a graying gentleman in a huge white Mercedes, or after his son in a smaller Mercedes. This behavior, in general, is easy to explain: poverty pushes young girls into the arms of men with a strong and constant income, they want to fly out of their father's nest as soon as possible, because very often the atmosphere in it is not the most pleasant.
Photo: Depositphotos

The point, of course, is not only about money, girls grow up spiritually earlier, they become interested in older men, with their position, knowledge and life experience; Another important factor is their desire to have offspring from a young age, which can only be fully educated by being married. In addition, everyone is well aware of the tendency of women to get lost almost in harems around the most charming or wealthy representatives.

No, all this is not speculation: according to statistics, up to 30-35 years old guys who have never been married are one and a half times more than girls who have not yet married.

If marriage polygamy is prohibited in the Russian Federation, and the total number of men and women is approximately equal, then there can be only one conclusion: young girls are actively marrying older men, and many young guys are out of work. So what, in this case, is left to do the guys who are a little less fortunate in life than the rest? They can only watch how their peers arrange their personal life, get married, have children, get divorced, get angry with their ex-husbands and remarry ...

Photo: Depositphotos

All these love adventures pass them by exactly at the time when they most want to taste. And young girls, in turn, surrounded by the attention of men of all ages on all fronts, grow crowns on their heads with might and main, turning their modest abodes into palaces and castles. There seems to be nothing reprehensible in such behavior either: a high demand for a limited batch always raises the final price; girls, seeing a lot of fans, become demanding, sort out candidates in search of the best - there is sexual selection in action.

Now - how it all looks in general and why the laws of competition do not work in the field of interpersonal relations... Let's return to the initial situation: you are a young guy, you want to get your portion of love and affection from life, but, given the above, it may well happen that you will not get anything. You look at how people try to build their lives, create couples, happy and not very happy, but no one lets you into this world of romance.

Things are very bad if the guy is shy: the girls will not show the initiative, they would have to fight off their boyfriends; Seeing such a huge amount of attention to themselves from almost every man, they are already making plans for Hollywood stars, often running from one groom to another. It turns out that someone gets practically nothing, while someone gets novels for a whole book. A little unfair ... Animals are not familiar with the sense of justice, but the higher human brain activity is very familiar.

So what is the appropriate response from an unclaimed guy to this state of affairs? Naturally, at least, there is a deep resentment towards women, and the guys with a weakly expressed knightly nobility have a sincere open hatred towards them. A woman is not a thing, she chooses a mate for herself. So why become better for someone else and strive for someone who may end up not appreciating your efforts at all? Yes, in general, and there is no need.

Single mothers problem

It would seem that the position of young guys is not the most enviable, but finally their hopes are finally finished off by the figures regarding the number of single mothers in the Russian Federation. Who is to blame for the breakdown of marriages is a too intimate question, and it should not touch anyone except the members of the former couple: could the woman keep the warmth of the hearth, or the man could not keep within the boundaries of the family or keep his vices, or maybe they were originally did not fit each other very well.

Most likely, the truth, as always, is somewhere in between, and both former lovers and the circumstances surrounding them are equally to blame. In any case, the fact that sooner or later exactly half of the marriages are dissolved is a reality that cannot be avoided, and most divorces (about 40%) occur in the first 4 years of marriage.

A woman diligently chooses a father for her future offspring, the head of the family, gives him her hand and heart ... Then something happens, and as a result we have a little over 5 million raising at least one minor child. This is a monstrous figure. The age structure of this category of female citizens is unknown, but if we make a rough estimate, then 5 million women are about half of all unmarried women aged 20 to 45 years. As a result, the chance for a lonely guy to find his soul mate without bursting into someone else's and already formed (albeit consisting of only one mother and child) family is completely narrowed to the size of a needle's eye. To this we can add that many single mothers, having accumulated grievances against all men in general and against their ex-husband or lover in particular, stop even striving for new ones, completely devoting themselves to caring for their children.

Such is the life, and most likely such a future for not the most numerous group of people who were unlucky once with the opposite sex.