What are the names of people who don’t want children. Childfree about conscious refusal to have children and society's reaction to their choice

They are sure that in old age they can easily do without a glass of water, which there will be no one to give it to them. And they know that humanity will not die out, because not everyone will follow their example and stop giving birth. From their point of view, life without children is joy. Let's try to figure out who these people are and why they think so?

There is a movement called childfree, which means “free from children.”

Childfree are men and women (not just women) who deliberately refuse to have children. Contrary to idle speculation, for the most part – adequate and without mental disorders. If you ask the most ideological supporters of the trend - very intelligent, successful and educated - why they made such a choice, in response you will probably hear lengthy discussions about the reluctance to aggravate demographic situation on the planet and their personal contribution to the fight for the environment. But one should not think that there are no more real (and not far-fetched) reasons. There are at least six more good reasons so as not to give birth.

"Thanks to parents

Behind the reluctance to have children is always family stories- very different, but at the same time similar friend on a friend. These are stories in which there were problems with parental love- either it was not there at all, or, on the contrary, there was too much. It’s a paradox, but mom and dad ignoring children who grow on their own like grass, and overprotection when parents literally strangle the child with their love, can give the same result. Grown children do not want to give birth to grandchildren. Some are afraid that their children’s childhood will also be unsweetened, others are not ready to turn their entire lives into an endless feat of self-denial for the sake of the next generation. In addition, thanks to “greenhouse” upbringing, reason number 2 can easily arise.

Infantilism

Many childfree people are residents of the same country as Peter Pan and the Tinker Bell fairy, even if at first glance they seem completely grown up and independent. Their psychological age does not coincide with the biological one. It is clear that the desire to have offspring and take responsibility for the child. such immature adults lack it. For what? After all, they already have the most beloved, beloved and dear child who needs to be pampered, cared for and cherished - it is themselves.

Fears

Pregnancy deteriorates your figure: your breasts sag down to your knees, stretch marks make your stomach ugly; giving birth is painful and scary, you can end up crippled. Children are sleepless nights, unkempt hair, circles under the eyes, screaming, yelling and endless problems, the right way say goodbye to inner freedom, a cross placed on professional growth... The list of such arguments - both true and frankly ridiculous - can be endlessly long. And any of them can become one of the reasons for refusing to procreate. Finding out why this or that argument has become the basis of a child-free worldview can only be done through an individual consultation with a psychologist. But, as you understand, they are not in too much of a hurry to get to this meeting.

Selfishness

Many childfree people are afraid that having children will no longer allow them to fully enjoy life the way they do now, it will confuse all their plans, make it difficult to climb the career ladder, force them to change priorities, etc. That’s why they prefer to live “for themselves,” without denying themselves anything.

Desire to be trendy

Where is the fiery revolutionary Clara Zetkin, who dared to say that a child is a man’s leash, compared to today’s stars who openly and boldly promote life without children. Celebrities, who are often role models (note that there are no frankly ugly losers among them and by default cannot be), are not shy in their statements. So it turns out that some are delighted with Renee Zellweger, who is confident that children are voluntary slavery, others - with Kim Cattrall, who is the most she can do - “to be a good aunt”, and still others are inspired by the example of Eva Mendes, who prefers healthy sleep and a quiet life communicating with “nice assholes.”

Disguising infertility

Among those who do not reproduce on a “voluntary” basis, there are also those whose statements about not wanting to have children are a kind of mechanism psychological protection, with the help of which it is easier to cope with problems in the reproductive sphere. The principle “I didn’t really want to” sounds in this case about the same as “Green grapes,” but it eliminates the feeling of shame and awkwardness that arises when you have to admit to others your own sterility.

Despite the fact that the childfree movement is gaining momentum year after year, many people are in no hurry to talk about the fact that they share this ideology. They do not seem to be against procreation, they simply “postpone” the birth of children “for later.” At some point, they understand that they need to choose between “now or never” and choose “never”, without entering into confrontation with society.

Incredible facts

Among the representatives of the zodiac circle there are signs that have much in common: for example, the desire to live independent and at ease . It is these qualities that push women of certain zodiac signs to abandon motherhood in favor of a career or simply freedom.

Today we will talk about which women most often remain childless, and let's try to understand them.

Nowadays, a movement called “childfree”, that is, “without children,” is gaining momentum; many couples in the civilized world increasingly refuse to have offspring, explaining this for various reasons, but at the heart of it all lies the absence maternal instinct And unwillingness to take responsibility.

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Most often, those who give up motherhood are not those women who have no housing above their heads, low wages or lack of education, because children in this case are extra mouth.

Just everything is exactly the opposite t: those who refuse to have children more often are those who have a career, money, and even loving husbands- everything is in place! So why is this happening?

Childless women

♒ AQUARIUS

Aquarius women most often refuse to have children, as statistics say. They are generally strange creatures. main reason perhaps because they believe that children will take away what is most precious from them– freedom!

Yes, when a woman has children, a certain part of her personal life becomes subordinate to these little creatures. There is no longer that carefreeness and lightness that you can feel if you don’t have children. The thought is constantly attached to the child: How is he feeling? What did you eat? How did you go to the toilet? What does it need? And so on. Full belonging to one's loved ones disappears, the personality fades into the background.

Any Aquarius woman, having given up motherhood, is sure that she has the free opportunity to choose: to give birth or not? And if the choice is to be free or dependent, she, of course, will choose the first! Another question is whether she will regret it in her old age or not?

Among Aquarius celebrities there are many childless:

1. Jennifer Aniston (born February 11, 1969 at 10:22 pm in Los Angeles, California, USA) once said in an interview: "Children, like men, can break your heart" which revealed her fears and concerns. Various media outlets often attributed her pregnancy, but at almost 50, Jennifer never became a mother. Jennifer does not like to discuss this topic, although she hears the question about children regularly.

In her horoscope there are no categorical signs of childlessness, and the planet that is responsible for children falls in the 12th house, the house of fears, mysteries, secrets, and charity. It is probably quite easy to explain refusal to give birth: I could, but I was afraid.

In any case, this situation suggests that the topic of children is a secret behind seven seals, and only the actress herself can probably answer for sure. why didn't I give birth?. Who knows, it is quite possible that she may adopt a child in the future. By the way, Jen fully compensates for the absence of children with charity work. For example, she supports an orphanage in Mexico, helps a children's hospital and much more.

2. Natalie Imbruglia(born February 4, 1975 in Berkeleywell, Australia) is a singer and actress. Although Natalie tells reporters that she would like to have children, the 43-year-old actress does not have them yet, and neither does her husband. Well, there's still time, who knows?

Childless couples

3. Ellen Lee DeGeneres (born January 26, 1958 in Mathery, Louisiana, USA) is an American actress and television presenter. Sticks to unconventional sexual orientation. In 2008 she married the actress Porsche de Ross and, who, by the way, is also an Aquarius (born January 31, 1973 in Horsham, Australia). Such a strange married couple in the “Aquarius” style.

Ellen herself often appears on her talk show invites children and shows funny videos and photos with their funny pranks in a section called "Why don't I have children" trying to jokingly justify his childlessness. Helen works so hard that she doesn’t have to think about children. However, it is possible that her wife Porsha will someday become a mother, although she is already 43 years old.

4. Oprah Winfrey(January 29, 1954 04:30 in Kosciusko, Mississippi, USA). Despite the fact that not everyone watches American television channels, Oprah is known all over the world as a very influential lady in show business.

In an interview, Oprah said: “If I had children, they would hate me. There are things in my life that can hurt, they could suffer from this. They would probably discuss me Oprah-style.

Oprah gave birth to a baby at 14 years old, but he did not survive. After that she never wanted children again. In Oprah's horoscope, the planet responsible for the theme of children is in a very weak position, afflicted by a malefic planet, combusted and also located in the sign of Aquarius, like the Sun.

However, with her charitable work related to children, Oprah fully compensates for her childlessness. She created an Academy for girls from poor families in South Africa. She considers her charges to be her own daughters.

Better late than never

Some Aquarians, however, come to their senses in time and still manage to give birth at the end of their childbearing years. For example, an actress Svetlana Permyakova(born February 17, 1972 in Perm, USSR) became a mother for the first time at 40.

Childless people

♍ VIRGO

Virgos are perfectionists in many ways and usually work hard to ensure that there is order around them. Most of Virgo, who decides to live life without leaving offspring, simply don’t want to spoil their perfection, be it figure or health. The fear of losing it overpowers the desire to get pregnant.

But there may be more to it than that. The lack of maternal instinct in Virgos is often associated with rational thought, because Virgos have logical thinking : There are already too many of us! These are a kind of survival instincts. Often noticed in animals that stop breeding in a very limited space. They can easily still give birth, but they understand: “We’re too crowded, it’s time to stop this!”

Read also: Top 6 truly most beautiful zodiac signs, part 1 and part 2 (60+ photos)

Also, Virgo’s passion for everything ideal and done conscientiously sometimes brings them doubts: I can't be a good mother! These reservations, of course, are closely related to the more deep reasons, which everyone has their own. But the fact remains: Virgos very often become childfree!

Priority gradually shifts to some other area of ​​life (often career and work), and Virgo, as a person who takes a long time but very firmly to get used to something, at a certain moment understands: I don’t want to change anything, I’m already fine!

1. Rachel Ray(born August 25, 1968 in Glen Falls, New York, USA) - American television presenter cooking shows and a writer who publishes a food magazine. Since Rachel's family owned restaurants, she knew a lot about cooking since childhood. Although Rachel does not have any children of her own, she is a patron of various charitable programs in which children participate.

magazine People Rachel admitted why she doesn't want children: “I don't have time for this. I work too much so I probably won't a good parent. I feel like a bad mother to my dog ​​when I'm away from home for a long time. If, for example, I still find time to give birth to real children, I will feel like I’m doing a bad job.”

Ray's horoscope is unique in that she was born at a time when... sign of Virgo visited immediately 7 planets! And the Sun, and the Moon, and Mercury, and Venus were in Virgo. We do not know her time of birth, but even based on these data, it is clear that some area of ​​her life is completely undeveloped, for example, the area of ​​motherhood. She is so focused on her Virgo work (cooking) that she simply doesn’t want to waste time on anything else!

2. Mylene Farmer(born September 12, 1961 05:17, in Pierrefonds, Quebec, Canada) is a French singer, actress and songwriter, the richest singer in France. Milen, at 57 years old, has never been officially married, she has no children, and her personal life was carefully hidden from journalists.

Usually, when asked about children, she only laughed it off and said that her monkeys were enough for her. Your unspent mother's love the singer transfers to animals. By the way, all Virgos are big lovers of pets.

3. Anastasia(born September 17, 1968 in Chicago, USA) is an American singer and songwriter who survived cancer and went through a double mastectomy.

Anastacia also had other serious illnesses. Moon in Cancer The singer says that she most likely still had a desire to have children, but for some personal reasons she never decided on motherhood. This often ultimately leads to illness. Although she was married, the singer never had children; her husband had two children, and he did not want others. Ultimately, the couple separated.

Just like Rachel Ray, who was born a couple of weeks earlier, Anastasia has stellium in the sign of Virgo, which indicates the focusing of energy in one place. Both women focused on their careers and work, but did not have enough time to think about children.

4. Jacqueline Bisset(born September 13, 1944 in Weybridge, UK) is a British actress. In her almost 74 years, the actress never got married and never gave birth to children, although she constantly had relationships with men. In an interview, the actress admitted that she had been caring for her sick mother for about 35 years, so her mother was always more important to her than any relationship. The actress still has a goddaughter, this is - Angelina Jolie, mother of many children.

Better late than never

By the way, it is possible that avid childfree Virgos will one day suddenly realize that, in principle, what's wrong with children? Often all they needed was... to meet the right person.

Virgo's Cameron Diaz(born August 30, 1972 in San Diego, California, USA) had no children for a long time, but having married a young rocker, the actress probably realized that it would be nice to leave offspring.

Luckily it's not too late: she is only 42 years old. Diaz for a long time was against children and considered mothers with many children...selfish, because the planet is already overpopulated. She was also afraid that she would not be a good mother to her children.

But rumors about the actress's pregnancy have now already officially confirmed. So: better late than never!

Famous Hollywood actress Salma Hayek(born September 2, 1966 in Mexico) spent a long time building her personal life and career, so her children were not in her first place. Only at the age of 41 did the actress decide to have her first child.

Childless celebrities

♐ SAGITTARIUS

It has been noticed that Sagittarius women also refuse to have children or decide to become mothers for the first time in late age. To a greater extent, this is due to the fact that children are simply not included in their plans, because the thirst for adventure and the desire for change overpower.

Like Aquarius, Sagittarians are very freedom-loving and want to be in several places at the same time. If they view motherhood as new adventure, then, of course, they do not remain childless. But if children are not included in plans for new experiences, then nothing can be done.

It also happens that Sagittarius is simply afraid to take on another responsibility for someone else’s life.

1. Margaret Cho(born December 5, 1968 in San Francisco, California) is an American comedian and actress of Korean descent. She is a member of the gay community and is openly gay. Although Cho herself suffered a miscarriage and hoped to give birth in her late 40s, she previously wrote on her website that she did not want to take responsibility for someone else's life. “To be honest, I don’t think I would want to feel vulnerable because of someone else.”

The connection of the Black Moon with her Moon in the birth chart, as well as the defeat of the Moon, only confirm her words. At 47, Margaret finally changed her mind, but it was too late. Who knows, maybe it will work out after all, and at 50 years old become mothers.

2, Another American comedian Sarah Silverman(born December 1, 1970 in Bedford, New Hampshire, USA), also a Sagittarius, at 47 years old she has never been married and has no children. Sarah has made a good career and has many prestigious awards for her age, but at the same time she suffers from a depressive disorder. This is why the actress decided not to have children, because she was afraid that they would inherit this problem.

Like all Sagittarius, Sarah good sense of humor, which made her a celebrity. In her speeches, she joked about children more than once:

“...I love children, but there is one thing I love more: constantly doing what I want!”;

"God, I'm really going to guys...I'm really going to NOT have kids";

“People are not shy about asking me why I don’t want to have children, but for some reason no one bothers asking pregnant women why they want to have children?”

3. Patricia Kaas(born December 5, 1966 in Forbac, France). Another super popular French singer, known to the whole world, is on our childlessness list. In an interview, Patricia admitted that she was not happy in her personal life. Although she grew up in large family, never gave birth to her own children, although she worried a lot about it. She could easily have adopted children, but she didn’t dare because she worked and toured too much. Like many childless ladies, she loves dogs.

4. Marisa Tomei(born December 4, 1964 in New York, USA) - American actress, winner of the 1993 Oscar statuette, has never been officially married and has no children. She said in an interview: “I’m not a fan of marriage and I don’t know why all women need to have children to feel complete.”

Better late than never

Kim Basinger(born December 8, 1953 in Athens, Georgia, USA) gave birth to her first and only child, daughter Ireland, in 1995, when the actress was already over 40. After 5 years, she had to zealously fight for custody of the child with her ex-husband Alec Baldwin.

Childless actresses

♈ ARIES

Among childless women, there are also many representatives of the Aries sign. As is the case with Sagittarius, Aries are quite independent and are used to build your own life the way they like. It is difficult to force Aries to do anything, and they usually live according to the principle of “one man in the field.” Therefore, being childless is often not considered a problem for them, because they are used to relying on themselves in everything.

In addition, Aries always have their own own opinion, which may often differ from the opinion of the majority, but they will argue and insist on their opinion to the last.

1. Ashley Judd(born April 19, 1968 in Granada Hills, California, USA) is an American actress. She played mothers more than once, but in reality she did not become one. Ashley said in an interview: “It is not wise to have children at a time when so many children are starving in poor countries”;

“I don’t want to have children, because the children that are already here are mine. I don’t need to give birth to my own children when there are so many abandoned and orphaned who need love, attention, time and care... I felt this when I was 18... My point of view has not changed because it is a part of me.” Very similar to Aries, who makes a decision once and for all!

2. Lara Flynn Boyle(born March 24, 1970, in Davenport, Iowa, USA) is an American film actress who, already at 20, became world famous thanks to one of the main roles in the cult series Twin Peaks.

In the actress's horoscope we see quite weak afflicted Moon near the full moon, which can cause difficulties with motherhood, but the main thing here is also the disharmony of the Moon and Venus, which makes Lara constantly dissatisfied appearance and pushes for endless plastic surgeries.

In one interview she said: “I love children and I love men, but I can hardly devote my whole life to one of them. I will always compare myself with my mother, who is the best in the world.”

Among celebrities Russian show business There are too few childless people, probably because the childfree movement is not very popular in Russia and the countries of the former Soviet Union.

3. You can celebrate Aries Laima Vaikule(born March 31, 1954 in the Latvian SSR), who at 64 years old has no children. As the singer admitted, when fate offered her a chance to become a mother, she ran away from responsibility because of her career.

At the age of 56, Laima was going to give birth using IVF, but the attempt was unsuccessful. Laima has been living in civil marriage with one partner. As usually happens, she gives...to dogs.

Lima’s horoscope simply amazes with the huge number of favorable aspects that add up to a very rare configuration - Star of David. With such a card, you can hardly remain without luck in life and not climb Olympus, becoming a celebrity. Laima used the talents and opportunities given by nature and successfully implemented them in life.

Moon in a sign Aquarius gives the singer a desire for freedom and independence. Perhaps this is also why the singer did not want to officially register the marriage, says astrologer infonioac.ru, and also did not want to take responsibility for children in the past.

Date of creation: 11/15/2008
Update date: 09/07/2012

Now many people are increasingly asking another question: “Why do people NOT want children?” And there are people who call themselves childfree and say openly that they are not going to give birth at all...

One monk said to the elder:
- It is not always easy to find out what your debt is.
“On the contrary, it’s very easy,” the elder answered. - This is what you least want to do.

Christian parable

At one time I wrote a short article: “Why people want children.” It would seem that reasons really matter? If they want - good, if they want and can - even better; and in any case, as you know, children are our future.

But on the other hand, it is for a psychotherapist, and for a consulting psychotherapist, that the reasons that encourage people to have descendants turn out to be important. Because the problems with which they then turn to psychotherapists, in particular problems child-parent relationships, often stem from the fact that unconscious expectations subsequently do not coincide with reality.
But now many are increasingly asking another question: “Why do people NOT want children?” And there are, they say, individuals who call themselves childfree and say openly that they are not going to give birth at all: but of course, children are our future and all that. Therefore, it would be nice if there was the same paired article - why people don’t want children.

Of course, in this article I in no way refer to those who cannot have children and suffer from this. Infertility is another story, and often a very sad one, and today we are not talking about it. And about people who seem to be physically healthy, socially prosperous, but don’t want to give birth!

Oddly enough, this phenomenon - when someone can, but does not want to have children - is not a subject of study for a psychotherapist. People don't want to - it's their right. Forcing people to become parents is a destructive move, and as a rule, nothing good comes of it.

But the first problems sometimes begin when those around them are increasingly trying to find out from a friend or acquaintance: “Why don’t you still have children?” And they themselves begin to analyze possible reasons this, calling them by names that are more understandable to oneself. Most often, “infantility” is mentioned (that is, a person considers himself not yet socially mature enough to be a parent); “selfishness” (a person simply thinks that he must first get on his feet socially and financially, and then give birth); "perfectionism" (a person wants his children to live in better conditions than he is now, and he postpones the issue of parenthood until he achieves these conditions).
I think it’s clear why I put these “definitions” in quotes.

In addition, it is not always possible to understand and formulate the reasons for the reluctance to have offspring: and this is not necessary, unless the person himself is concerned about this and comes to the reception with a request to “help figure it out.” And if he himself does not consider this a problem for himself, then again, it is not necessary to delve into the reasons; rather, one can be glad that unwanted and unloved children are not born into the world.

But my clients (and more often clients) often ask a slightly different question: why is it so important for an outsider that everyone becomes parents? Why can’t some people calmly pronounce the word “childfree” and say that “these people are violating their natural destiny”? Sometimes the pressure of public opinion is such that, it seems, just a little more and a person will be sued “for criminal inaction.”
Therefore, we will not talk about why some people don’t want children, but about why others want them. Even more precisely, they didn’t want to, but had to give birth!

To date, it is rare that a psychotherapist, psychologist or other family specialist has not voiced the maxim “children should be desired.” This is indisputable if we're talking about about the future happiness of children and parents. But for some reason the reluctance to have children is now being fought through public violence. Although it seems to have long been known that if a need is formed by coercion, then instead of a need, a person experiences, on the contrary, a reaction of rejection and protest. If you want, at the level of instincts, in particular, the instinct of self-preservation. A person will fence himself off not from the imposed need, but from the very fact of violence. In the same way, any desire for reproductive activity, especially in a person who thinks and analyzes the situation, can be killed by pressure from the series “Every woman must certainly give birth, and you!..”

The belief that “everyone must certainly give birth” was true a long time ago, when such a terrible phenomenon as infant mortality had a very high performance. And out of, relatively speaking, ten children born, one or two survived. And now the survival rate, fortunately, is much higher. And the current society, if we think logically, can easily survive so that those women who do not yet feel the need to become mothers do not become one (the same applies to men who do not feel the need to become fathers). Because motherhood, and parenthood in general, is still not a profession or a duty. This is an opportunity that, if implemented under pressure, the result, as a rule, will be quite sad.

It’s a pity that other people don’t understand this and continue to stubbornly wonder why a person still doesn’t have children. As one of my clients said, “When asked questions like these, I feel like I’m being stripped and my reproductive organs are being publicly examined.”
By the way, men are also pestered with such questions, although less often.

As a result of this, to put it mildly, tactlessness, many childfree people of both sexes are forced to unite (for example, in online communities) and even defend themselves, sometimes quite aggressively: just as any oppressed minorities unite. Precisely for the purpose of protection from public opinion, which crushes with this very maxim “If you don’t want children, you...” Next, substitute any unflattering epithet according to your taste and upbringing.

Of course, the escalation of confrontation on both sides often leads to excessive extremes: on the one hand, “down with all pregnant women,” on the other, “down with all childless people.” This is no longer conscious choice, but an outburst of aggression that has nothing to do with consciousness and logic. And now we are not talking about these emotional outbursts, but about those people who balanced and calmly said to themselves “I don’t want” (maybe “I don’t want yet”), but public opinion in hundreds of voices, he first strictly asks - why don’t you want to, and then here and there he stamps: MUST/MUST!!!
And then the question arises: why?

Why do some strangers, most often, care about other people's reproduction? And why is it so important for some, as it was said in one childfree community on the Internet, to “work as a cuckoo in your biological clock”?

Of course, we cannot accurately diagnose the causes of each in absentia and with a general approach, but offhand we can make several assumptions.

The first reason to do this is hierarchical. “I have the special power to control people, and you in particular, and I do it in a socially acceptable manner!” Of course, no one has endowed a person with such power, but sometimes it is very difficult to get rid of unconscious beliefs. As a rule, the desire to “teach life and talk about duty” is appropriated by individuals with so-called hierarchical thinking, who thus simply feel socially superior at the expense of others.

The second alleged reason is some kind of revenge. This is the same case when a person himself at one time became a parent, obeying the pressure of society and “duty”, as a result he suffered a lot, and now strives for others to do the same: “I bore this burden, and you? Did you do your duty, and you?”
And if you tell this person that in reality there has been no such debt for a long time, he will not accept it. Because otherwise it turns out that all his parental sacrifices are in vain!
As the saying goes, “there is no worse oppressor than a former slave.”

Third possible variant– attempt to control someone else intimate life. Moreover, it is increasingly common to hear or come across statements online like “children are a logical extension of sex.” Today, in the era of developed contraception, this sounds at least strange. In addition, if we consider children as a logical continuation of sex, then it turns out that a person needs approximately the same number of sexual acts in his life as he has descendants; no more.

The fourth reason is gender discrimination. Unfortunately, both men and women suffer from this: professing the principle “A woman should be, first of all, a machine for producing population, and this is the main purpose of all female creatures!...”
For some, this also means that specific woman- their daughter or wife - they would thus gladly tie her “to the family and home” in order to avoid their own worries about her “inappropriate” excessive socially active behavior.

And one more reason is the one why such curiosity does not appear in strangers, and from relatives. It is from them, unfortunately, that it is most difficult to distance yourself when they ask “When will you have kids”: because they seem to be in their right. "Mom (Dad) wants grandchildren"! But in fact, this means that mom (dad) most often unconsciously strives to realize her sense of power and become the “head of a big clan.” In our language, “grandmother” means “old woman”, and grandfather means “old man”; in the same English, German, French woman having grandchildren is called " big mother". And the man is a “big father.”

And it’s a pity that some parents, who intend to eventually become “big parents,” believe that their descendants are absolutely obliged to fulfill their desire.

Of course, for many, children are happiness. But it’s hardly worth imposing any kind of happiness on anyone. Everyone comes to their own understanding in their own time. happy life, sometimes completely different from yours. And, as you know, people are not forced into heaven.

In this regard, we can analyze another rather problematic point: often people with children treat childfree people with pronounced and overt aggression. However, if we think logically, any parent, on the contrary, should be childfree grateful: those who do not have children do not aggravate the competitive situation for those already born, do not force them to more actively and intensely fight for oxygen, food and place on the planet. Childfrees do not join queues at children's clinics and do not apply for places in kindergartens; children not born to them do not increase the competition for other children entering universities and looking for work. And most importantly, why should a parent personally hate childfree children if each of them lives in accordance with their own understanding of happiness? Some give birth for pleasure, while others do not. That is, there are no intersecting interests and, as a result, no grounds for conflict.

And again it turns out that hatred of childfree is experienced by those who view their childbearing in the depths of their souls as the above-mentioned duty to society (no matter what beautiful words did not speak out loud about his own pleasure). In this case, everything is much clearer: here, they say, I stepped on the throat of my free flight - I gave birth, I fulfilled my duty, but I didn’t fulfill this one! How dare he/she, let’s all point a finger at him/her and tell everyone to his face what he/she is like... (here again insert any unflattering epithet).

Accordingly, if someone acquired offspring by at will- He has nothing to hate childfree for. And if they simply obeyed the stereotypes about “duty and obligation” - then this someone will dislike them very much. Because they dare to live according to their own principles and for their own pleasure, but he does not.

They may tell me that, “Shame on you, doctor, you are against having children!” However, I am not against this in any way. I am for society to be concerned not only with the quantitative, but also with the qualitative growth of the demographic curve. For it is not enough to give birth to children: they also need to be helped to grow into adequate, well-mannered and yet happy people.

From childhood, we all have a script for our future life laid down in us. It manifests itself gradually like a mosaic, consisting of what happens in the family, school, immediate environment, from what we see on TV and read in the media. mass media. And no matter how we imagine ours future life, it almost always contains children. Even if career comes first, a woman still imagines that having achieved success, she will have a child. But it turns out that there are people in whose life scenario there was no place for children - these are childfree.

People come to the decision that they do not need children in different ways, and this decision is not necessarily final. Quite often it is akin to teenage maximalism, and is an expression of protest against the foundations of society. Such people, having matured, abandon the decision not to have children and, having had a baby, lovingly fuss with their child. It is true that people grow up different time and it is likely that some women Those who deny motherhood will mature to it only at the age of forty. Now they claim that the planet is already overpopulated, that they do not have to act like everyone else, etc.

Another category, in general, quite close to the first, due to its immaturity, is egoists. They don’t want to have children because they are afraid of pain during childbirth, spoiling their figure, gaining weight, or that children will take up a lot of time. In general, everything that can bring new worries and distract them from their own person. Men this category is against children, because they don’t want their wife to waste time on someone else, even his own child. Egoists often do not even admit to themselves the reason for abandoning a child, but come up with a bunch of excuses for why they do it. There may be plans to build a career, improve their life, but even when the goal is achieved, they come up with a new one, just so as not to have a child.

Another reason that is increasingly talked about childfree, this is a fear of the future. They believe that nothing good awaits us ahead and that it is not worth bringing a child into such a cruel world. In addition, many women now, even after getting married, do not feel protected. They are afraid that at any moment they may be left alone with a helpless child and without support. Sometimes people become childfree if they were raised by a mother who found herself in exactly this situation. Memories of a difficult and joyless childhood, and even reproaches to the mother that because of them she could not get married again and worked two jobs, can discourage any desire to have children of their own.

In general, whether to have children or not is a personal matter for everyone. Let it go better person, who does not love them, will devote his life to something else than, having given birth for the sake of tradition, will spank the unfortunate child all his life.

She doesn't want to have children! Why?

Modern girls are increasingly putting first place not family and children, but career and personal development. Financial independence made it possible fair half humanity to become free from prejudices and standards of behavior. But many people are still very outraged by the question, why does a woman not want to have a child?

A long time ago, society developed a stereotype that the main purpose of a woman is to give birth and raise children. Be a keeper family hearth and mother - natural for the fairer sex. However, the statement that all women are obliged to give birth is fundamentally wrong. It can just as well be argued that the main task men - to become a father.

Children are the flowers of life. They bring joy and happiness to parents and are the key to a calm and well-fed old age. However, raising a child is not easy daily work, both moral and physical. This process requires patience and certain knowledge, and most importantly - psychological maturity. If a woman does not want to have children, there is no need to rush to condemn her. Let's try to figure out the reasons.

1. Lack of maternal instinct. According to statistics, there are about 10% of women on the planet who are deprived of the instinct of motherhood. This is their innate feature, and it must be tolerated. Still, not wanting to have a child is not a crime. Such girls can benefit society in other ways. It is much better to improve your own personality than to raise a new person incorrectly.

2. Focus on your career. Many business ladies They simply don’t have time to plan for children. They spend their time at work from morning to night, strive to achieve success and constantly compete with men. Crying baby and sleepless nights clearly don’t fit into their schedule. Of course, you can give birth to a child first, and build a career after 35 years. But more and more modern girls They throw themselves into work from an early age.

3. Fear of losing freedom. Some girls are scared by the fact that after the baby is born they will have to give up entertainment and have a fun life. A child takes up a lot of time and effort and requires constant supervision. For many emancipated ladies, this is a nightmare.

4. State of health. Doctors do not recommend that some girls give birth due to congenital or chronic pathologies. IN in this case giving birth real threat woman's life. There are also girls who are simply afraid of pregnancy and childbirth itself because they have poor health. Carrying a baby and caring for it can be a real challenge.

5. Lack of a reliable life partner. If a woman has a husband, but does not feel behind him like behind a stone wall, then she does not want to have offspring. She is not sure that he will be able to provide and protect her and the children; she fears that all the difficulties of raising a child will fall on her shoulders. There is no suitable father, which means the child is not worth having.

6. Material needs. Nowadays, children require significant financial investments. As babies they need strollers, diapers and baby food, V school age– clothes, books and beautiful notebooks. And what can we say about mobile phones and computers? Modern parents they try to do everything so that their children do not feel disadvantaged. However, not everyone succeeds...

7. A sad example of your own family. If the girl’s father and mother lived like a cat and a dog, and she, in turn, suffered from this, then her reluctance to have offspring, and a family in general, is quite understandable. The woman is afraid of repeating the fate of her mother; she does not want to relive the situation that traumatized her psyche in childhood. Only a loving and loving person can change a girl's position. reliable man, who will prove to her that you can live differently.

8. And finally - selfishness. Sometimes there are girls who simply don’t want to have children, because they live only for themselves. Most of them grew up in luxury and were not used to sharing their blessings with anyone else. They are capricious and spoiled, and do not want the love and attention of everyone around them to switch to the child. It happens that a wealthy woman knows what will come of her bad mother, and decides not to have a baby. She can give him everything he needs, but only in material terms.

How to treat women who do not want to have offspring is a personal matter for everyone. But a child should be given birth only when both parents are mentally ready for it. You need to feel responsible for your family and baby, realize that you are already an adult and serious man. If the father or mother is still a child at heart, you should not rush to give birth to your own. If all people understood this, there would be fewer unhappy children's fates on earth.