How not to depend on the opinions of others. Public opinion

01/02/03
A person does not do what he wants, or even what is necessary, because "he is afraid of what people will think." What the hell does it matter what people think? I understand if the opinion of a loved one, a friend is important ... But when they think about abstract people who will all think badly, talk badly about you, whisper, turn to you in unison with angry faces full of sadistic moods, and flash their eyes, in anticipation of public execution ... In the modern world, for the sake of public opinion, a person can renounce dreams, love, friendship ... It's not fair ... I hate people's dependence on public opinion - also because I myself cannot get rid of it ...

Super (gay) man, 01/02/03
Dependence on public opinion is equal to the fear of being humiliated. All the time to be afraid that they will look at you in the wrong way, or they will say ... "Here, he looks after himself too much, he even does a manicure, she saw it! Something is wrong with him ..." Damn, because of I could not live normally for this fear for a long time, I tried to create the appearance of a "normal person", and gradually began to feel that I had lost myself, that I had become the way they wanted to see me. This is a complete paragraph.

Nelooser, 01/02/03
Public opinion really influences people's decisions and actions. It forces people to contradict their needs and desires. Because of him, we cease to be individuals, to be ourselves. It is one of the ways (means) for society to absorb our personal qualities and opinions ...

victim, 09/09/06
public opinion is not always correct, not always logical. This is the opinion of many people at once, it cannot be clear, it cannot ... but damn it, it cannot do anything. Public rules, principles, opinions. All of this is too vague to be a guide to action. Yes, it follows from experience and makes common sense, but only for society as a whole, but not for a specific person or situation. Unfortunately, many people are too dependent on this opinion. Conduct themselves according to social rules. Then they start to doubt. But all the same they answer something like "Well, yes, you are right, but I think so too .. but it's so strange, because it shouldn't be that way, look no one thinks like that, no one does, what will people say?"

Zabila, 10/09/06
Dependence on anything is unpleasant, and even more so. Of course, I absolutely do not care what strangers think if I walk barefoot down the street, or suddenly scream loudly. just. But the opinion of people you know still has to be taken into account, and you really have to limit yourself, sometimes you don't do something really worthwhile, fearing that they will not understand it that way. Nafik, it shouldn't be this way!

Varniss, 09/12/06
Of course it is. but there are simply people who are soaked to the marrow of their bones with the "herd feeling". They can't even dream to fight off the team. This is the worst part. It's my opinion. But personally, I sometimes listen to public opinion, but if I want something, I don't care what others think. But although this is also not correct. Everything should be in moderation. Damn, I'm already confused ...

sweet kiss, 11/04/10
in fact, it's hard to live in a society and not depend on public opinion. and a multifaceted topic. everyone understands it and defines it only through the prism of himself ... it's one thing to throw a cigarette butt out of the window or not have breakfast in the morning and say that you don't care about public opinion, and another thing is to build relationships and, in general, your whole life the way you want, but not as this very opinion imposes ... probably independence from public opinion depends on the level of a person's inner freedom, his awareness, etc. etc. Each person is an individual. And if the society goes to drown - do not follow the crowd. It is necessary in rare cases to pay attention to public opinion, otherwise there are such opinions ..... that in general you can get off the bag. You can pretend. what we listen to, and do our own thing. In general, to be honest, I don't care what others say about me, since the most important thing is what you think about yourself.

IronnFelix, 12/12/10
A person's lack of confidence in his abilities makes him listen to the opinions of others. Here you need either auto-training or a doctor. Provided that the person wants to get rid of it.

Man is a social creature who, from childhood, is in close contact with society. Thanks to those around us, we grow and develop, absorbing the experience of communication. Too strong influence of society on a person can cause a lot of complexes and fears. This must not be allowed. Each of us knows the basic rules of behavior in public places, and we adhere to them.

Dependence on public opinion

There are individuals who do not care what people think of them. The third category is very afraid of public opinion and builds their lives so as not to arouse public interest. This is a direct dependence on public opinion, the excess of which negatively affects everyday life.

Possible reasons

It is no coincidence that people become dependent on the opinions of others. The reasons may vary.

1. Childhood is the main source of addiction. The complexes of childhood and adolescence serve as the basis for the formation of dependence on public opinion.
2. Often addiction because we choose someone else's life as the basis for ours. Sooner or later, others will find out about this and begin to criticize our choice.

As a result of these reasons, the personality becomes closed. After that, she is not able to make independent decisions if she is not sure that they will be accepted by society. The feeling of anxiety gradually overcomes. A person loses the opportunity to live the way he would like him, and not those around him. He accepts the role of a performer in his life, not noticing that he is led by society, like a puppet. A constant discomfort settles in the soul, which haunts.

The pressure from the outside is so strong that sometimes we are afraid to take an extra step towards achieving our dreams. Often, dependence on public opinion is formed by the same dependent parents. The child should be taught the rules of etiquette, but his life should never be overwhelmed.

Personal and public

The couple has been married for many decades, but relationship problems arise that force people to divorce. If people are dependent on public opinion, they will never do this, because they will be afraid of condemnation from the outside. They will suffer, but continue to pretend that everything is fine in the family, so as not to become a topic of conversation for neighbors, friends and acquaintances.

Experienced psychologists are convinced that craving for public opinion does not do any good. She simply drives into the framework that interferes with life. Therefore, people live with the unloved only in order not to arouse the suspicion of others.

The whole essence of public opinion

Signs of addiction

Experts have identified several signs of dependence on public opinion. Among these should be highlighted:

• it is difficult for a person to decide on his own when buying basic things (clothes, equipment and even food);
• in the process of a controversial issue, such an individual tries to consult with the one whom he considers best;
• the person loves praise and regularly expects it;
• addicted people are afraid to express their opinion, as they are afraid to be ridiculed;
• lack of confidence in yourself and your strengths;
• a person is afraid to change something in his life, therefore he never brings what he started to the end;
• such people adjust to others and fulfill the whims of stronger and more independent people;
• an individual on social networks demonstrates every event: holidays, going to the cinema, to a concert, etc., so that others can watch and understand what a busy life he has.

And this is not the whole list of signs that a person is dependent on someone else's opinion, but most often these symptoms appear.

Getting rid of the disorder

What is the name of a person dependent on the opinions of others and how you can get rid of it: in psychology there is no definite term for this phenomenon, but experts were able to develop a plan for diagnosing and treating the problem. You can get rid of addiction in different ways:

• help of a psychologist;
• support of loved ones;
• self-confidence and the ability to ignore the opinions of others.

The patient is obliged to understand that the people around him do not really need the way you live. Some actions can cause discussion, but after a few days any event is forgotten, and other news replaces it. This is a normal process that should be resigned to. The success of this therapy is entirely up to you. If you become more confident in yourself, stop thinking about others, then success in overcoming the problem is 100% guaranteed. In order to get rid of addiction as quickly as possible, you should seek the help of a professional psychologist.

The influence of public opinion is a complex psychological problem that interferes with our daily life. If you want to get rid of this heavy burden, take advantage of the advice of a specialist who will tell you what exercises will help in overcoming your fears.

"Loyalty and treason"

110. Can a dream be changed?

"Indifference and responsiveness"

210. Why is indifference dangerous?

"Goals and Means"

"Courage and cowardice"

"Human and society"

Central Federal District, Southern Federal District, Northwestern Federal District, Volga Federal District, North Caucasian Federal District, Crimean Federal District

111. When can betrayal be forgiven?
201. What actions of a person speak of his responsiveness?
305. Is happiness built on the misfortune of others possible?
403. How does courage differ from recklessness?
508. Is public opinion wrong?

Volga Federal District

Udmurt Republic, Samara region

113. Can there be an excuse for treason?
209. When is indifference ostentatious?
311. Do you agree with the statement of B.L. Pasternak: "We must set ourselves tasks above our strength"?
405. What role can a cowardly act play in a person's destiny?
511. Conflict of generations as a social problem.

Northwestern Federal District

Kaliningrad region

106. Values ​​to which you can be faithful all your life ...
211. Do you agree with the statement that indifference impoverishes a person's life?
308. What can you sacrifice for the sake of achieving a great goal?
411. What helps a person to overcome fear?
513. What kind of person can be called an established personality?

Ural federal district

108. What does it mean to be faithful to duty?
204. Can a responsive person be lonely?
310. What kind of person is called purposeful?
402. Do you agree with the opinion that courage is the ability to overcome fear?
507. What can be the sources of disharmony between the individual and the society?

Siberian Federal District

Altai Territory, Novosibirsk Region, Altai Republic, Tomsk Region, Krasnoyarsk Territory, Tyva Republic, Khakassia Republic, Kemerovo Region

109. As you understand the phrase from the novel by M.A. Bulgakov's "White Guard": "But not a single person should break the word of honor, because it will be impossible to live in the world"?
202. What person is called responsive?
313. What is the difference between a goal and a dream?
412. In what life situations do you need to be ready for bold actions?
503. When can a person feel lonely in society?

Omsk region

101. When a person is faced with a choice between loyalty and betrayal?
205. Do you agree that your own suffering and difficulties make a person more responsive?
304. What are the main goals in life?
409. How are cowardice and weakness connected?
504. Can one person resist the surrounding society?

Irkutsk region

110. Can a dream be changed?
206. How are responsiveness and selflessness related to each other?
309. What helps people achieve their goals?
407. Why can a person be afraid to express his position?
510. Do you agree with the proverb "One is not a warrior in the field"?

Zabaykalsky Krai

102. How and why do they become traitors?
208. Is indifference a man's fault or his misfortune?
303. Does it make sense to set unattainable goals for yourself?
413. Do you agree with NM's statement? Karamzin: "Courage is a great property of the soul"?
512. What does it mean to be an authoritative person in society?

Far Eastern Federal District

Magadan Region

107. When can we say about a person that he is true to himself?
203. Do you consider the concepts of "responsiveness" and "mercy" synonymous?
312. How do you understand the words of the philosopher I. Kant: "A person should always be a goal and never a means"?
406. Is the principle good: “whatever happens ...”?
502. What role can a strong personality play in the life of society?

Jewish Autonomous Region, Primorsky Territory, Khabarovsk Territory

112. What reasons can lead a person to betrayal?
210. Why is indifference dangerous?
306. Is striving for an unattainable ideal justified?
404. Is courage given by nature or is it brought up in a person?
506. Can a person put himself above society?

Kamchatka Territory, Chukotka Autonomous District

104. Who can be called a true friend?
213. Do you agree with the assertion of the writer K. Lewis: "The main enemy of love is indifference, not hatred"?
307. What should be guided in the choice of life goals?
401. What helps a person to become courageous?
505. Is it possible to be independent of public opinion?

What the task looks like:

Good day to you, dear readers of the Wonderful World! Today the article is not easy - about the dependence of public opinion, and by the way, I noticed this problem exists in absolutely all my acquaintances, like me. Let's figure out what kind of attack it is.

Any person is part of the whole society. And without his influence, a person cannot develop. It is through interaction with society that a person acquires a set of social skills necessary for life. But if society or its opinion on an individual person is influenced excessively, then this can lead to adverse consequences.

Public opinion is the opinion of those who are not asked.

There are quite a few people for whom public opinion matters too much. And if they have to choose between their own desires and aspirations and public opinion, they will most likely focus on the latter.

Public opinion and family

For example, a particular married couple has been legally married for more than a dozen years. But over time, people realized that not everything is going well in their relationship and they would like to get a divorce. However, such an impulse will shackle dependence on public opinion. It is very important for people what others or just acquaintances can think or say about them. What might people think?

Just such a question is asked by almost everyone who is highly dependent on the opinion of society. However, psychologists are inclined to believe that such an addiction for the person himself is absolutely not an ounce of benefit. There is no practical help from her. On the contrary, such dependence often puts people in a strictly limited framework in their behavior.

As a result, you can live your whole life, completely focusing only on the opinion of someone else, and push your true aspirations into the background. But let's think together, who is more capable of influencing the thoughts and even actions of people so dependent on the opinion of society? After all, society as a whole cannot influence a person, since it is only an abstract category. Therefore, a specific person will also be influenced by specific individuals. And among them, parents should be singled out separately.

Children at a certain age tend to move away emotionally at a certain distance from the people around whom they spent their entire childhood. At the same time, if the parents raised the child correctly, then it is completely normal if in the future he will go on an independent "voyage" through life.

However, there are a considerable number of children who have already matured who not only continue to live in their parents' house, but are guided in their actions by their attitudes. In this regard, ordinary laziness is perhaps the key determining factor. But the numerous complexes existing in a person play an equally important role.

A person can be influenced by public opinion, the tone of which is also set by so-called authoritative personalities. Their role can be successfully played by friends or some unfamiliar but respected people. Often, such an authoritative person for a person becomes his immediate boss, one of the employees, or persons in charge of the country. The latter can influence specific people using the media for this.

Estimated dependence

The dependence on public opinion can be of different nature. Some people just panic if someone comments on their clothes. Others are guided by public opinion even when making vital decisions. Excessive dependence can eventually transform into different forms and types. Thus, some people literally worship their authorities and completely trust them to determine the course of their lives.

Particular cases of such blind dependence are, for example, unconditional adherence to fashion trends, the desire to always avoid possible conflicts in public places, the desire for everyone to be good. Often, a person dependent on the surrounding opinion trusts his parents or someone close to him to decide for himself which educational institution he should enter and which of the professions to choose for subsequent work.

Where does the dependence on public opinion come from?

Dependence on public opinion does not appear in a person by accident. There are quite understandable and analyzable reasons for this. However, most often these reasons determine addiction in their totality. Their source is various childhood fears, adolescent complexes, habits of choosing someone else's plan for themselves as the basis for life.

As a result, a person becomes unable to make a conscious, reasonable, and most importantly, independent choice. So gradually anxiety becomes familiar to him. A person does not have the opportunity to live his own life. He takes only a passive part in it. Constant discomfort and pessimistic mood settles in the soul.

The pressure of public opinion on a person can be so strong that some are afraid to even make an unnecessary movement or step. They are driven only by the fear of encountering condemnation from other people and their sidelong glances. It is not uncommon for children whose parents have taught them that it is indecent to do certain things in the presence of others, or it is impossible to behave in public in any particular way, that children become dependent on the opinions of others.

Of course, it is important to teach the child the elementary rules of politeness, tact and other useful things. However, for everything else, he must form his own opinion. Otherwise, the child will live in a state of constraint with numerous fears, complexes and other prejudices.

How to get rid of public influence?

A person can get rid of the influence of public opinion. To do this, first of all, you need to understand that other strangers to you, in fact, are indifferent to your own life and the actions that you perform. Therefore, it is absolutely pointless to be afraid of condemnation on their part.

Moreover, many people are also extremely reticent in their behavior in the same way that you are. And they are also very scared to come across condemnation or rejection of their actions by society. And even if someone begins to condemn the way you look, behave, or say something, then after a few minutes people around will simply forget about this expression of opinion.

Of course, we are not talking about such acts or even crimes that, according to general rules, are beyond the boundaries of reason. However, you have the right to boldly and without fear to carry out the whole set of other actions, aspirations and words based on your personal desires. The pressure from the community is often just something you make up your mind.

However, work with personal fears, as well as with complexes, you must carry out on your own. After all, no one knows them better than you yourself. If you yourself cannot cope with them, then it is permissible and even desirable to turn to a psychologist for help. It is for him that it is easiest and easiest to help you in your difficulties. It is extremely important for you only to admit to yourself that you still have some problems.

Set yourself up to fight this negative addiction. Those people who depend on the opinion of someone else are actually most afraid of the disapproval of others. It is this factor that scares a person the most. As a result, a person is exposed to constant moralizing. But even that is not scary. The scary thing is that it seems to a person that these moral teachings are fair and fully justified in relation to him.

Psychologists recommend speaking out the essence of your fears. It will be much easier to deal with them this way. Getting rid of any addiction should be gradual. It is important for you to tune yourself to such deliverance, then public opinion will no longer dictate its will to you, and you will find freedom and harmony of your soul.

It is impossible to be completely free from society. There are rules of behavior among people that are customary to observe: any educated person will not raise his voice in the walls of a public place and use obscene words in speech, will not go out naked into the street, but will stand in line at the store. However, for some individuals, the dependence on public opinion is too strong and comes to the fore, changing the line of behavior. Why is this happening and is it possible to get rid of the constant obsession with what people will say?

Someone else's opinion affects every person in one way or another.

Defining the problem

Allodoxophobia - this term in psychology refers to the fear of being condemned by society, both close and unfamiliar people. This leads to the fact that a person does not act as he would like. It starts with small things like the choice of clothes and spills over into global ones. How many spouses, unhappy in marriage, do not get divorced because of fears of becoming objects of gossip of others. There are two particularly close groups of people whose opinion is so important to a dependent person.

1. Parents. It happens that overly persistent guardianship makes a weak-willed person out of a child, unable to make decisions on his own and constantly looking back at the reaction of relatives. The sons and daughters of such powerful parents usually do not marry for a long time, since their choice must first of all be approved by the mother and father. The choice of the future specialty is also assigned to the parents, and the interests of the teenager are not always taken into account.
2. Friends. From an early age, we attach great importance to what classmates, children from the yard, etc. will say. Children are sometimes cruel, they still do not know the sense of tact and they almost always say what they think. Therefore, since childhood, every person has a fear of being ridiculed by their peers, and over the years, many continue to adjust their actions to the criteria established by the closest circle of friends.

Colleagues, bosses, neighbors can also act as authorities. You need to take into account the opinions of others, but you should make decisions about your life yourself. Suspiciousness can lead to the fact that a person will miss something important in their life, fearing to be judged.

There are times when there is a so-called reverse reaction. A person deliberately challenges society, showing that he absolutely does not care about its foundations.

This is mainly typical for adolescents. Such an extreme is not very good, because the decision is made in the heat of the moment and is contrary to the interests of the individual himself. Often the challenge is expressed in boorish behavior that is contrary to the norms of etiquette. It is worth noting that dependence on other people's opinions and reactions forces a person to keep himself within limits. For some individuals, the fear of public condemnation saves them from rash and illegal acts.

Causes of allodoxophobia

The reasons for the development of dependence on public opinion should be sought in childhood:

• complexes;
• fears;
• relationship with parents.

The mother and father can inspire the child that the main thing is the approval of others, publicly besiege the child for a wrong action, and often appeal with the words “not allowed” and “indecent”. Infantilism and failure in decision-making, low self-esteem also affect the formation of fear of the reaction of society. The consequence is:

• constant feeling of anxiety;
• developing depression;
• inability to live your own life and defend your opinion.

The person becomes passive and is afraid to take an independent step, fearing condemnation and criticism.

The patient lives in constant fear of receiving the disapproval of others.

Overcoming the complex

One day you realize that listening and following blindly are two different phenomena and decide to get rid of your suspiciousness. Is it realistic to do this? Psychological ailments are no less serious problems than physical ones, and require a competent approach to their resolution.

1. People are much more concerned about their own lives than outsiders. You don't need to think that everyone around is doing nothing but discussing your persona. After commenting on something, gossipers will immediately forget about it. Self-sufficient people will not crawl into the soul of a stranger.
2. Act so that you are not ashamed in front of yourself, live according to your conscience. You have the right to take any action in relation to your own life, as long as it does not contradict the law and does not harm others.
3. You need to want to overcome your dependence on someone else's word, to realize that this spiritual quality pulls you down. It is advisable to consult a qualified psychologist, since the problem is based on low self-esteem and lack of confidence in one's own competence. Work on yourself and learn to value your personality.
4. Lay out your fears. What are you afraid of hearing from others? When these fears are spoken out loud, they will no longer seem so terrifying to you.

Working on suspiciousness and analyzing your complexes will become a spiritual impetus. It's never too late to improve.