Lover for a married woman. She wants communication. What explains the big age difference?

ONLY FOR MARRIED WOMEN WITH LOVERS!
All sorts of men and morally minded young ladies milk age please don't worry.
Please explain why you took a lover, what is your relationship with your husband and how do you feel about both? Are there those who have a lover—just a lover, and not a beloved (like a husband)? Not for the sake of idle curiosity, but to understand life) Thank you.

Just wondering)

Of course there is no time. The hardest job is being a housewife.
A lover is like a spark. It burned and faded away.

She started it as revenge on her husband (he cheated + loved to disappear with friends). She loved her husband, then she fell in love with her lover - the love for her husband passed. The result is divorce. I didn’t get along with my lover, because... married. Now I’m dating MCH, things are heading towards marriage, but I don’t want to leave my lover. Husbands come and go good lovers don’t lie on the road 😉))))

married housewife 30 and I had a young lover for 19 years. I left him because I got tired of him.

Almost all working friends have lovers, but housewife friends do not. What is this connected with? Or do housewives simply not have the opportunity to have a lover?
Just wondering)

At this time, my relationship with my husband was more than perfect in all respects.

Almost all working friends have lovers, but housewife friends do not. What is this connected with? Or do housewives simply not have the opportunity to have a lover?
Just wondering)

For the last 2 years there has been constant misunderstanding with my husband, there are a lot of complaints on his part, apparently from the dissatisfaction of the person himself, I went to work, quite a successful lawyer, in general I enjoy life. I recently met a man at work (we work in the same building) at first we just smoked together, I steadfastly resisted his advances, but in the end I gave in, I’m very gentle in sex, and my husband has a consumerist attitude and doesn’t bother to satisfy me, and there are also constant complaints on his part, one way or the other. My conscience doesn’t bother me at all!

I'll tell you about a relative. Her last lover, whom she successfully meets recent years 12 started when I was still with my husband :) Then I got divorced, the child grew up and separated, and recently I finally got together with my lover.
So it goes. L started it, it seems to me because her husband was a drinker.

I recently finally got together with my lover.

By the way, I never thought that I would cheat on my husband, but his constant reproaches against me brought me to the point that now I get from another person what he does not give me

especially to my husband tender feelings I haven’t experienced it for a long time, there are too many things I can’t forget to him. The affair on the side has been going on especially closely for the last 2 months, I don’t guess what it will lead to. By the way, he is also married and his relationship with his wife is similar to mine with my husband like this.

and my revenge is terrible.

Just wondering) where do they come from? From the playground or from the store??

Not this is revenge just a desire to be loved or something, and to feel like a woman

Guest Almost all working friends have lovers, but housewife friends do not. What is this connected with? Or do housewives simply not have the opportunity to have a lover?
Just wondering) Housewives hold on to their husbands more strongly) because without him, where would a housewife be?

I didn’t start it on purpose, we talked a lot at work, and so things started to happen... I fought with myself until the very end!! She loved her husband, but she didn’t have enough banalities - his attention, compliments, sparkling eyes, etc.. In addition, my husband is not an emotional person, he doesn’t talk much.. And here, he’s just my man.. Before the first sex, we talked for a long time and a lot. .I didn’t disappoint in bed, but I didn’t experience any piggy delight either. L means a lot to me in human terms, he is both my adviser and assistant and my vest in any issue and situation. I trust him with all my experiences and problems, and so does he. With my husband, in general, everything is not bad... that’s how I live... my conscience doesn’t bother me)) something like this, in short...

Ordinary a holiday romance, went on vacation without my husband (he couldn’t make it due to work) and things started to get worse. The warm sun, carefreeness and some feeling of unreality played a role. And after the vacation we met in Moscow, it turned out that we actually live in the same area. This is how the third year meets. Of course, I’m fed up with him, I need to somehow break off this whole relationship.

My lover is a generous sponsor)

There was a thing, I started an affair at work, at first, like everyone else, the euphoria of playing spies (oh, yes, the reason was that I didn’t work up because I was young, I got married early), and then I compared it with my husband and was disappointed. Greedy, dull and not at all interesting as an interlocutor or in principle. And when it comes to sex, my husband is 100 times better. Sometimes it’s worth a try to know for sure that your choice was right from the start. Now no, no, I'm a faithful wife.

Do you feel sorry for money for a social survey at work? Have you decided to use forums?

I didn’t start it on purpose, we talked a lot at work, and so things started to happen... I fought with myself until the very end!! She loved her husband, but she didn’t have enough banalities - his attention, compliments, sparkling eyes, etc.. In addition, my husband is not an emotional person, he doesn’t talk much.. And here, he’s just my man.. Before the first sex, we talked for a long time and a lot. .I didn’t disappoint in bed, but I didn’t experience any piggy delight either. L means a lot to me in human terms, he is both my adviser and assistant and my vest in any issue and situation. I trust him with all my experiences and problems, and so does he. With my husband, in general, everything is not bad... that’s how I live... my conscience doesn’t bother me)) something like this, in short...

5. There are women who need activity in everything, they need communication (work, a lover) - they probably have more male hormones, but there are those who sit at home and don’t need anyone except their husband (there are, of course, housewives and whores, but there are also beautiful women), but they feel good like this. It’s not just the whirlpool of work that sucks those who simply work. You know, research results show that the more educated a woman is, the more likely she is to have a lover. Well, or I’ll paraphrase in the manner of moral advocates: the more educated, the more f***ing (that’s exactly what they will say), but sometimes you can’t argue with statistics.

Housewives hold on to their husbands more strongly) because without him, where would a housewife be?
But you're right, damn it!)))

By the way, I never thought that I would cheat on my husband, but his constant reproaches against me brought me to the point that now I get from another person what he does not give me

No, to hurt your husband, to deprive him of his mind - that’s your goal. Power over husband. War with my husband. Why don’t you love yourself so much, Lucy?

It’s a shame (You’re trying here, you’re puffing yourself up, faithful wife you build, and your husbands finish, finish, think. that a woman’s patience is limitless. And then they are surprised - but I thought you were good. Well, if you made one yourself, get one)))

It’s a shame (You’re trying here, you’re puffing yourself up, building a faithful wife, but your husbands are trying, they’re trying, they think that women’s patience is limitless. And then they’re surprised - but I thought you were good. Well, the one you made yourself, that’s what you get)))

What kind of power does she have over her husband? When your husband is so fed up that he has no strength, you don’t want to own him at all. No way. Let him sit quietly, and I won’t touch him) You want power when you love, when there is a possessive instinct. And she loves precisely because she allows herself to be happy, but those who do not love themselves allow themselves to be ruined by their own husband, but they boast of fidelity.

Just admit that you are cheating because you are unhappy in your marriage.

I put my hand on the Bible. I repent “I’m unhappy in my marriage”

Just admit that you are cheating because you are unhappy in your marriage.

Koshanya if you are on the verge of making a decision like “to be or not to be.” I’ll say it in my own way personal experience“to be” because a person was created for happiness, and if this person is currently bringing it to you, take a step towards him!!

Why don't you get a divorce then?

ONLY FOR MARRIED WOMEN WITH LOVERS! All men and morally minded young ladies of milk age, please do not worry. Please explain why you took a lover, what is your relationship with your husband and how do you feel about both? Are there those who have a lover—just a lover, and not a beloved (like a husband)? Not for the sake of idle curiosity, but to understand life) Thank you.

And I am so honest, so correct. A counter question, why don’t you kill yourself - after all, in heaven there are people needed the right people. Sorry for the cruelty! Understand that there are many reasons why people don't want to get divorced.

Calm down, I don’t give a damn about morality and righteousness. I'm just interested in this issue. Can you name the reasons why unhappy wives in marriage do not divorce their husbands?

That’s the same for me, we understand each other perfectly! What are your forecasts for the near future?

oh, I have the same nickname.))))

Banal ones - children, common joint household, business, and then there is habit and love. Sometimes it’s easier to forget yourself for an hour with your lover than to start life with a stranger (probably this is called laziness)). And getting a divorce and starting a life with someone else is not a guarantee of the absence of problems. There won't be these, there will be others. Sometimes you have to choose. Do you know the proverb - bad world Better than a good fight, that's about it. It’s easy for some people to change people around. I don't. Let it be better to have two, but they will complement me, than I will change them in a dozen years, but I will be faithful to each - and I will make excuses, they say, I’m looking, but it’s not the same. Of course, provided that no one gets hurt, otherwise there’s nothing to talk about.
You can't say it more precisely!

oh, I have the same nickname.))))

Let’s talk more about conscience) I’m afraid that if something happens, my conscience will eat me alive (Because I love my husband very much, but there’s not enough attention, etc.

I myself suggest that my wife take a lover. Refuses

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The topic of betrayal is eternal, like love itself. For a married woman, a lover sometimes has higher value than her husband: he can be for her not only a loved one and bed partner, but also a friend, like-minded person, and work colleague.

The reasons for the emergence of “love triangles” are varied and do not always lend themselves to classical logic. Why classic? Because classical logic is masculine. It is fundamentally different from women's. But the logic of women can sometimes explain the inexplicable...

But, be that as it may, the appearance of a lover in a married woman is always, in one way or another, connected with sex.

Traditionally, the reasons for the appearance of a lover in a married lady are considered to be:

• Lack of attention from the spouse, lack of warmth in the relationship. Moreover, this aspect is valid both for physical signs of attention and in the spiritual sphere - when a husband ceases to be interested in his wife as a woman, when he ceases to be interested in her life outside the family.
  This line of behavior of the spouse may also opaquely hint that he himself is a participant in his own “love triangle,” but not always. Perhaps he has some problems that he would not like to “burden” his beloved woman with.
• Sexual incompatibility. It happens that after living in a marriage for several years (especially when the marriage is early), people admit to themselves that their partner does not suit them in bed. It is not always enough to have the courage to admit this to your other half, for fear of simply offending.
  This phenomenon occurs often and is explained simply - too different temperaments. But this is not a verdict - everything can be discussed and resolved.
• New love. This is probably the worst thing. New love, new passion... You can do something stupid...
• Sometimes the appearance of a lover happens because the spouse does not want to have children. Motherhood for a woman is almost the most important instinct, and it requires implementation. If one man does not give her this, then there will be another, more accommodating one.
• Another reason is lack of money in the family. When there is a catastrophic shortage of funds and a woman cannot afford to buy extra tights, this is a reason to look for a “sponsor” on the side.

If, nevertheless, the decision that a lover is necessary in your life has been made, then you should familiarize yourself with a number of rules that will significantly facilitate hard life in a "love triangle".

Rule No. 1 - “Rule of Sex”

Adultery always involves lying and acting. In order not to get caught red-handed, if this is of course relevant to you, you need to be able to live double life so that you are not suspected of lying and betrayal.

You will need remarkable acting talent and the ability to “silence the voice of conscience.”

In moments sexual intimacy a woman is especially vulnerable emotionally - the risk of exposure increases at least twice. Therefore, the head should be light, cool, and work like a personal computer. But, Lord, how difficult it can be sometimes!

It must definitely be thought out unpleasant option, if the deception is still revealed. A woman should clearly know what she will say and do if her husband accuses her of cheating.

All men, without exception, are owners. This should always be remembered. There will be no “human understanding” of your excuses. Only 1 man in 1000 can calmly respond to your revelations, but even he will not provide the expected support. Russians are not Swedes, they have a different mentality, approval for sex life the three of us will definitely not follow.

Rule No. 2 - “Rule of Life”

Cheating is always painful. Only those novels where there is love, or at least falling in love, are easy and painless.

It’s difficult to negotiate with your own conscience, and it doesn’t always work out. And combined with heightened emotions, it’s simply unbearable. Think about whether you can easily and calmly deceive loved one? Realize that you will never have the opportunity to fall asleep and wake up next to your loved one, endlessly make excuses to your lover, why are you still not divorced from your husband?

And here’s the other side of the coin: put yourself in the place of your lover, just mentally switch roles. Can you live like this? Will it be easy in his place? If “yes,” then there are no reasons or barriers to adultery. If “no”, then you should think about whether this is really necessary?

Rule No. 3 - “Divide and conquer”

In order to avoid problems, understand that your men should not even suspect each other’s existence. Each of them should feel like the only one loved.

If you decide that you are giving this day or hour to this man, then you should not be distracted by other people at this time, phone calls, SMS, Internet or guilt.

One day the choice was made in his favor. You wanted this, so enjoy the victory! This is your choice and it is without any doubt worthy of respect.

This day is yours with him, and no one can become an obstacle. Well, unless there is some kind of force majeure in the form of a natural disaster or sudden military action.

Rule No. 4 - “Be yourself”

Life in a “love triangle” is itself dual. It is not surprising that in this state of affairs a woman feels like 2 in 1, but at the same time she is the same as before.

The ability to be true to yourself is not innate. This is rather the result of upbringing and personality development. This quality of character must be constantly developed.

Remember, you are you, there is no one else like you. With every man you should be yourself, if only because they love you, and not a fictional character.

If you give in any slack, that's all - the threat of exposure. " Love triangle"Not for the faint of heart.

It is also worth remembering that if the situation becomes confusing, you should not be led by your emotions, they are the most useless adviser. In such situations, you should be calm and have a cool mind. This the only way to make the right decision.

Rule No. 5 - “Your health is your concern”

A married woman is an adult, mature person who is independently responsible for her life and health. Often she has to take responsibility for others, for example, for her children. So it's a question of responsibility for married lady not new, rather the opposite.

Everyone knows that sex produces children, even younger schoolchildren. Is it then worth mentioning contraception once again? Costs. From unprotected sex there are not only children, but also a whole bouquet sexually transmitted diseases. Many of them are incurable. Always remember this.

Will be justified before starting intimate relationships ask potential partner a certificate of his sexual health. There is nothing inconvenient about this. If a man needs a woman, then a certificate of health will in no way become an obstacle for him to a relationship.

For her part, the lady would also benefit from regular monitoring of the flora, which is documented.

All your men must be ready to take responsibility for you, each in turn. But practice shows that this is far from the case. In a fit of passion, a man’s brain turns off earlier and faster than a woman’s, so don’t blame me.

If a man is not ready for any responsibility, think about whether you need such an unreliable partner? Will this relationship bring more troubles than happy moments?

Rule No. 6 - “A friend will not betray you, God will not notice, a good horse will not let you down”

If so intimate relationship took place outside of marriage - do not give yourself away, hide your emotions and disguise yourself. Reputation is everything to us. She must be flawless. For strangers, friends, acquaintances, you are an impeccable housewife and wife. Homebody.

In camouflage, indirect evidence is important, accumulated constantly, little by little, methodically. Then no one will be able to even entertain the thought of your infidelity.

If you say that you are going to the gym, then you need to return “as usual” at the same time, without makeup, tired, with a wet T-shirt in sports bag. If you go to the spa, then exactly the opposite - satisfied and refreshed.

Rule No. 7 - “Live without illusions”

Everything always passes. "Love Triangle" too. Over time, its corners are smoothed out, and it dissolves into Summer.

Eternal love between lovers is a priori impossible. Triple alliances, where all participants lived happily ever after and died on the same day, are a utopia. She should be left high art poets and directors of erotic productions.

IN real life love affairs There's a lot of emotional cost on the side. It is necessary to constantly lie, adjust, play a role. It's tiring. Moreover, you never know how it will end and at what moment. You also need to remember this and not build castles in the air in your imagination.

conclusions

If, after reading everything stated above, you have come to the conclusion that a lover is not a luxury, but a necessity, then you simply must read about the mandatory taboos below.

Taboo No. 1

The inner circle of friends is prohibited. This means that the lover should not belong to either friends or work colleagues in common with the husband. Best friend husband - a categorical “no”, because this is a failure from the very beginning.

Taboo No. 2

Don't compare anyone to anyone. Neither a lover with a husband, nor a husband with a lover, and certainly don’t talk to them about it. This attitude is at the very least insulting to both men.

Even if any of them have questions, this is just a provocation. Smile back, kiss, hug, just love and think about the beautiful North Star... It will be better for everyone.

Taboo No. 3

Don't discuss your personal life with anyone, especially with your friends. Happiness does not like talkative people.

Even if it gets really bad, don’t say a word to anyone! As soon as you open your mouth, you can time it - in a few hours, your inner circle will be fully or partially aware of all the events of your intimate life.

Remember the old joke - “If a woman’s head is held high, the woman has a lover. If a woman lowers her head thoughtfully, then she has a lover. If a woman has a head on her shoulders, that means she has a lover”? Everything, of course, is not so simple, but almost each of us has thought about responding to the obvious advances of some Yakov Petrovich from the sales department, who showers you with compliments, treats you to coffee and gives you cute bouquets on occasion.

Lover for sex

Perhaps your husband is too used to you, has stopped noticing your advantages, and sex has become routine and rare. He even stopped kissing you just like that, but this is vital for female body! After numerous hints, initiative in bed, you go and look for a lover solely for sex.

There are lovers for sex everywhere - what kind of man would refuse an easy affair? It can be beautiful and exciting, champagne, flowers, everything unfamiliar and passionate.

Very soon you may find that your orgasm does not tend to come regularly during sex with this delightful man. Well, at least because he doesn’t understand what exactly you need, and it’s somehow strange to explain. Or maybe you just lack love, which is not at all included in your plans with this particular person. Well, how can you fall in love with the storekeeper Sergei, who has a beautiful body, but the intelligence of a grasshopper and three children?

Chat

Well, well, your rightful one has once again run off fishing, giggling stupidly, confirming your suspicions that the mind is not his strong point. And you, in addition to cooking, washing and children, need to talk to someone. About Kusturica, about karma, about the influence of the northern lights on the afterlife of insects. And then an old acquaintance turns up with whom you can discuss all this.

pros

Why do you need a lover? By and large, physical relationships are not even needed here, you get an intellectual orgasm. Life is playing again bright colors, after all, even scientists confirm that relationships in which a man and a woman are the same in terms of intelligence are much more durable and interesting.

You may fall in love, and he may fall in love with you. And then an easy relationship will turn into a nightmare with divorce. And it’s not a fact that living with this person will be as comfortable as living with your fishing enthusiast. He, despite his narrow-mindedness, knows how to hold everything on his shoulders, but whether a wonderful intellectual can do all this is a big question.

Do you need a virtual lover?

Perfect option, do you think? Well, it’s true, few of us can resist the temptation to start virtual romance. Letters, SMS, messages to in social networks... Romance!

It's not like it's cheating. You've never seen him, and light flirting only increases your feeling self-esteem And inner attractiveness. Dear, this is not at all what you think, but only the exchange of photos, emoticons with kisses and no sex!

Never meet him in person. 90% that it will turn out to be completely different from what you imagined. Well, not like that at all. Many people write much better than they speak... Or, even worse, he will turn out to be exactly as you imagined him - subtle, sensual, beautiful and smart, who will immediately understand that you are exactly the same as he thought. And he has a wife, mother-in-law, children and guinea pig Vanessa. And you have your own trunk with a mortgage behind you. And how to live with this now?

To have a lover or not is, of course, a personal matter for each of us. Maybe your family is just worried at this moment difficult period and you need to help her, and not run away from the problem into the arms of a strange man? After all, yours too own husband could be the object of someone's desires? Take a closer look, he’s basically nothing at all!

What are lovers for and are they needed at all?

It would seem a stupid question. However, according to soulless statistics, every fourth married couple there is a “skeleton in the closet” in the form of a lover or mistress. How do psychologists explain the connection on the side?

So, lovers are needed for:
1. For sex! Spouses are not always sexually compatible with each other. In many couples, women do not know what an orgasm is, and men believe that they are sleeping with a “log”. This is bitter and offensive, but often we choose to preserve the family, having carnal pleasures on the side. At the same time, the wife or husband is still dear to us as the closest and most beloved people.

2. For variety. Here, of course, men are in the lead. They like to say that a wife is bread, and a mistress is a sweet dessert. There’s nothing you can do about it either; it’s nature, which didn’t care about such a concept as male fidelity.

3. Out of revenge. This option, on the contrary, is more typical for women. By cheating, they take revenge for betrayal, for inattention, for coldness, for dissatisfaction - for anything. The cheater raises her self-esteem by rejoicing in the fact that someone else is sexually attracted to her. By cheating, a woman sometimes simply drowns out her pain and resentment towards her loved one.

4. To shake up relationships. Sometimes change is even useful. Quarrels, worries, jealousy, passion can shake up a sluggish union and add pepper. Reconciliation, frank conversations can bring spouses closer together again. But you shouldn’t play such games, otherwise they can become a habit.

5. Just like that. For some, cheating is normal. These people cannot imagine that they can live any other way without cheating. They are polygamous, they are not tormented by feelings of guilt, they do not believe that they are doing something immoral. Well, that’s their right; they don’t even really want to talk about them.

6. For the thrill of sensations. Such lovers simply lack drive and adrenaline in life. What about home, work, and children? And here is such an intrigue: appearances, passwords. The main goal of extreme sports enthusiasts is simply not to be caught, and the constant feeling of danger gives them acute pleasure.

As we see, cheating can also have some benefit for a couple’s relationship. But we should not forget that lovers are still unnatural, and any plus at any moment can turn into a minus. A relationship shake-up may end with your spouse constantly reminding you of this annoying fact from your life, sexual satisfaction will result in disappointment and spiritual emptiness, and the search for diversity will result in divorce and the destruction of the fortress called “family.” So, when you step on the slippery path of betrayal, think seven times whether it’s worth it. Happiness and love to you!