How to distinguish love from falling in love in a man? How to tell love from falling in love in adolescents? Falling in love and love: how to distinguish these feelings from each other

In this article, we will look at the difference between love and being in love.

Love, sympathy or falling in love, and sometimes just passion - these are the feelings that are familiar to each of us. Well, this is how we are arranged - we will definitely be drawn to another person and we will always have a desire to be attached to someone. Love and falling in love, as well as friendship and affection, go in pairs. Yes, they stand so close and go toe-to-toe that many of us confuse them or do not even realize that they have any feeling.

How to distinguish love from falling in love: comparison, signs, psychology, test

Love and falling in love are very closely related, they are similar and cannot exist without each other. More precisely, how to say, love does not arise without sympathy and previous love. After all, love takes time. Therefore, these feelings are often confused. Perhaps this is due to the fact that each of us wants to find that very true love. By the way, much still depends on the character. There are individuals who fall in love with a new partner every week. Naturally, in this case we are talking about falling in love.

What are the signs of falling in love. Everyone knows these rampages of hormones, butterflies in the stomach, sensations of elevation - all this is a side of the emotional aspect of falling in love.

• As they say, "love at first sight" is a myth. Only love can arise. So she will take you by surprise. And we, unfortunately, cannot choose who and when it will happen.
• Falling in love begins in a person like the flu. Yes exactly. Some scholars even attribute this feeling to the status of a disease. A person in love has mood swings, pressure surges and insomnia, and some even have headaches.
• The desire to always and more be close to the person you like. Yes, now the conversation is about those "chance" meetings.
• Lovers want to communicate, talk, act and learn something new about each other every day. And most importantly, there should be no boredom and monotony.
• But a person in love often feels absent-mindedness, confusion in thoughts (from this, delusional first speeches are obtained). And what kind of rash acts love pushes. If you look at your life in the past, you become ashamed of yourself. Yes, this point applies more to adolescents, but a person in love is susceptible to them at any age.
• And how you want to expose yourself in the best quality and light. That is, a person in love, as if making it clear that he is the one.

IMPORTANT: Falling in love is more selfish, because a person in this state, first of all, thinks about himself. He wants to look, touch and be close so that he feels good. A person in love rarely asks the question, but what is the soul mate. Even if such thoughts arise (purely out of common sense), personal interests and benefits always outweigh the scales.

• You cannot be 100% sure of a passion (no, for example, girls often have thoughts about a future wedding and children), but external data (smile, eyes, gait) can cause feelings.
• By the way, when interests come into contact, each other's shortcomings begin to appear, which we may not accept. Some even manage to start a family or create a civil marriage. And then, a whole bunch of discontent blooms.
• If you cannot be near, then look with your eyes. Yes, a man in love will most often (almost constantly) look for his passion with his eyes. Therefore, so often lovers meet with their eyes.
• And yet, when we begin to talk with a person we like, the timbre of the voice involuntarily softens and becomes quieter.

But love already has slightly different characteristics:

• The first thing I would like to highlight is time. Love does not arise quickly and spontaneously. It takes time and work on yourself (for both partners). But on the other hand, you can be sure of the duration of such a feeling for many years.
• We mentioned that in a person in love, feelings are caused only by external data, and flaws can be wildly annoying. Then, in a state of love, we perceive a person as he is. That is, they love him not for his eyes or expensive gifts, but simply because he is, he is the best and only one.
• There should be no one else. That is, a person becomes everything to you. For example, a girl walks and looks at a nice guy, but thinks to herself: "The jacket is beautiful, my husband should buy it!" You don't pay attention to others and don't even notice their positive qualities.
• No, we keep in touch with friends or relatives. Even more than during the period of love. This means that no one else arouses such sympathy.
• With a loved one, you can just keep quiet. Yes, loving people know how to communicate, as if with a look or at a telepathic level. And with such a person you feel calm, safe and comfortable. After all, you are in your place.
• In love, there are no thoughts of separation (divorce). Even during a period of quarrels (they happen to everyone - this is also a natural and normal process), a loving person understands that they will make up, find a compromise and move on. And what else! After all, now they have become halves of one whole.
• By the way, lovers do not have “mine” or “yours”, but instead “ours” comes to replace it. Moreover, both partners develop not only common interests, but even common habits and even character traits become a bit similar.
• The main thing is that there is always work on yourself. Both partners. This can also include a sense of forgiveness. Yes, you always need to discuss the problem and look for a compromise.

IMPORTANT: A loving person is always more concerned about the state of his half. That is, he does not think about his own benefit or convenience, but so that the beloved is good and comfortable.

And now let's touch on the psychological side of them.

Love:

1. We all want to continue our kind. This is inherent in nature and not only in man, but also in any living creature on the planet. Therefore, there is such a feeling as falling in love. Therefore, one thing can be said - the human body itself induces the feeling of being in love.
2. By the way, falling in love is often deceiving. The person was attracted by external data, and the mind and imagination have already done the rest. And then, when we have to face reality, we are disappointed. In other words, we idealize our partner.
3. Under the influence of hormones, a person rises, becomes joyful and cheerful. Moreover, the feeling of being in love is also reflected in our luck. After all, with a positive personality, things go much higher than others. Therefore, being in love is even beneficial for our body.
4. And it is impossible not to touch upon such an aspect as parents. No, now we are not talking about the love of parents and children. Probably, many have heard that on an unconscious level we choose a partner who is similar (if positive aspects are associated with parents) or, conversely, opposite (when parents are associated with negative memories) with our parents.

Now let's talk about love:

1. Love arises over the years - this is a fact. But there are also some types of love, for example, maternal or brotherly, and there is also love for a neighbor, for the Motherland or work. And, of course, there is sexual love, that is, between a man and a woman, between spouses.
2. Love is often confused with feelings of attachment or fear of being alone. But more on that later. I just wanted to say a few words about love - a loving one will not suppress a partner or create unsuitable living conditions for him, and he will not try to assert himself by any means.
3. And one cannot fail to note the stages of love. Yes, they exist:
   • Sympathy or falling in love is a period when hormones are dancing a waltz, and pink glasses are in front of our eyes.
   • Oversaturation, or tipping point, is the period when all flaws begin to be noticed. Moreover, the glasses are off, and we really don't like these habits of the partner. And he (or she) does not want to refuse or change them.
   • Denial or the desire to give up everything arises after the rose-colored glasses. It is difficult to find a compromise, the partner has many complaints, and he himself does nothing for the sake of the relationship (and this is what each of the partners thinks). And then there are thoughts that parting would be ideal. Unfortunately, this is the longest period and most couples end up breaking up.
   • The beginning or inception of love occurs when partners dare to stay together and begin to work on themselves. Again, don't confuse it with hopelessness or feelings of attachment. In love, care and tenderness for a loved one comes first.
   • And true love, as the final stage. Unfortunately, it can only be achieved by mature partners who really know both joys and sorrows. Friendship, passion, interest and emotional closeness should also go with love. Of course, partners should be able to get along in a team, be responsible and devoted to each other.

To finally establish the final verdict, we offer you a small test:

1. Pay attention to your appearance.
   • A person in love becomes prettier and tries to attract maximum attention to himself. There is a blush on the cheeks, a radiance in the eyes, and a smile on the face.
   • Love does not like loud and flashy outfits. She is generally more inconspicuous, and changes in appearance are minor.
2. Character and conversation.
   • During the period of falling in love, we try to be with our chosen one more often, and conversations can only be about him. Constantly tormented by questions: "Do you like me?", "Do I look good?", "Did you notice my outfit?"
   • In love, there is a desire to make your soul mate only better, so that he feels good. And not only, people around fall under the distribution of happiness and help.
3. What emotions are overwhelming.
   • Jumps and mood swings are characteristic of falling in love. Cry because you didn't call on time, or didn't meet at the first break, and then, at the sight of a passion, it all changes with loud laughter and uplifting mood.
   • The weak point of lovers is their views. There are no longer those leaps (now quietly, now loudly), the feelings are more stable and calm.
4. And what is the difference in behavior.
   • When in love, some can blush sharply, others become silent or, conversely, begin to communicate loudly and fervently. And there are cases when shy representatives just run away.
   • In love, everything is different - with a family (in love he becomes so) he feels easy and at ease. There is no desire or need to show yourself from another, unnatural side.

How to distinguish love from affection: comparison, signs, psychology, test

We have indicated above the symptoms and signs of such a feeling as love. Therefore, we will not go deep again. Let's talk about affection, which is also often confused with love. Falling in love is more related to schoolchildren and adolescents, but affection is more characteristic of those partners who managed to live together.

• In general, attachment is a feeling of closeness, which is based on sympathy or the same love. As you can see, all these feelings are very closely interconnected.
• In a couple where attachment is present, one always gives and the other receives. That is, one loves, and the second turns his cheek.
• Attacks of jealousy are also more related to attachment. The desire to control and completely personally possess a partner does not say love at all. Therefore, excessive control appears. There is always room for trust in love!
• Fear. An important indicator, because the attached person is afraid of losing a partner. Moreover, they are more concerned with material qualities. From here and excessive attention.
• Also, it should be noted that there is no development of partners as individuals. That is, loving people can develop not only together, everyone can have their own hobby or hobby.
• And yet, attachment, like falling in love, is based on external qualities.
• And also let's talk about distances. Attachment can first lead to melancholy, and then, on the contrary, cause a feeling of lightness and freedom.

Therefore, you can easily pass a small test:

1. Again, notice that you like your partner.
2. How do you feel after a week off
3. You put your interests higher than your partner. Or vice versa?
4. Now think about your partner's shortcomings and how you feel about them.

Answer only honestly, and the conclusion can be drawn from the above signs.

How to distinguish love from feelings of passion: comparison, signs, psychology, test

The Kamasutra interprets love in its own way. Each person has three drives: mind, soul and body. In the first case, respect arises, in the second - friendship, in the third - desire (aka passion). Love is the combination of all three qualities together. We will not walk in circles for a long time and will repeat ourselves, so we will immediately move on to passion.

• Again, it is based only on physical sympathy.
• It breaks out like a fire in a forest. But just as quickly it goes out.
• Passion often forces you to solve any conflict with bed. Pay attention to how you resolve your conflicts. In love, there is always room for quiet conversations, while passion overshadows the mind.
• A loving person will never offend his partner, while passion allows barbs and rudeness towards the other half.
• And an important criterion! Passion can relate to several. Love is monogamous (we already mentioned this above).

If we talk about the test, then it is enough to answer the questions from the previous paragraph. Answer honestly and quickly, and also remember (we have already mentioned) aspects such as conflict resolution and flirting on the side.

How to distinguish love from passion: comparison, signs, psychology, test

To distinguish the feeling of passion from love, and to understand what kind of feeling overwhelms you, it is enough just to give answers to the following questions. The feeling of infatuation is very similar to falling in love, but it can even be called the initial stage.

• Naturally, answer honestly what attracts you to your partner. Hobby can only be called a few points. And only external or physical aspects.
• How often and for how long is interest shown. The hobby is so fleeting (yes, falling in love is more constant in this matter) that a person very quickly switches to another object. Moreover, the person goes out very quickly. He is engaged in other matters, only when reminded can he recall his passion.

• Again the topic is how conflicts are resolved. With passion, of course, all roads lead to bed, but attraction is expressed by too emotional perception. Yes, a person begins to react very sharply to any comments. And any quarrel turns into a world-class conflict.
• Do you care for your soulmate. This point plays an important role. Yes, love arises gradually and, naturally, people get to know each other in detail. Passion is selfish in nature and is aimed only at personal gain.
• And such an aspect should be noted - earthly or supermundane feeling. The fact is that with passion, only earthly needs are of interest, which are expressed by thoughts, pleasures and banal actions. Love has no barriers, and for lovers, intimacy is in the first place.

How to distinguish love from friendship: comparison, signs, psychology, test

They say that there is never a feeling of friendship between a man and a woman. We will not delve too deeply into this issue, since it is a "sore" and eternal topic of controversy. Perhaps friendship for someone develops into love. Or maybe a feeling of sympathy in someone, on the contrary, will destroy friendship in a few years. We will consider an example when there is only spiritual closeness (that is, friendship) or the desire for the body (love) already appears.

1. How you behave. If it is easy and at ease, you are not afraid to put yourself on the funny side, then there is only friendship between you. No, in love, too, no one experiences tension, but it comes over the years. Communication moves to another level, and it differs from all other friendships.
2. There should be no place for jealousy in friendship. You easily communicate with the passion of a friend (girlfriend) or you can simply discuss the person you like. And no negativity. That is, a person specifically does not want to put a passion in a bad light. Of course, unless circumstances really require it.
3. Care. No, friends also care about each other, but lovers do it differently. You will not be able to allow your loved one to snack on dry food or junk food (or drink a lot of alcohol), but a friend will sit down for such a meal with you.
4. Analyze the time apart. How often do you think about your friend, but think about who and what you are doing. Friends do not have such a question. They live their own lives.
5. And how do you feel about criticizing a friend in your address. As a rule, a loving person wants to show his best side. Of course, it's too early to talk about deep love, but its initial stage will not allow you to listen to reproaches or even comic barbs addressed to you. The words of a friend are perceived easier, moreover, you can even laugh at them together.

Of course, you can endlessly consider examples of love and friendship, but in order to understand your feelings, the above five points are enough.

How to distinguish love from the feeling that a person just likes: comparison, signs, psychology, test

We will not beat around the bush. Since we looked at several options, simple sympathy is similar to regular falling in love or infatuation. The only difference is that we can like many representatives. One person who likes it has beautiful eyes, another has a smile, and the third one jokes well. But! All of them also have negative sides, which we immediately notice.

• That is, in a simply sympathetic person, we single out only one or two qualities that we like.
• And this is necessarily either external data, or just some kind of behavior.
• There is no desire to be around all the time. You can have your own life, and remember about your passion only if necessary.
• With a person we like, we always feel embarrassed and awkward.
• And sympathy can fade away very quickly, and in general is characterized by its inconstancy. If someone with more beautiful eyes appears, attention will turn to him.

How true love is different from other feelings: psychology

We have indicated what are the main features of each of the feelings and how to recognize them. Therefore, we will not repeat ourselves, but simply summarize the information.

• Love is a feeling that arises gradually and after a certain time.
• A person is loved in the big picture, yes, for his soul (as they often say). No, external data is also important, but not in the first place.
• Love includes friendship, passion, and spiritual closeness.
• Love is not idealizing like other feelings. A person is perceived with all the pluses and minuses. And they love him because he just is there.
• Love does not require constant presence (like falling in love), control (like affection), and at a distance or through time it does not pass and does not go out (like hobby).

• In love, they always put their soul mate above their hobbies, amenities and even happiness. More precisely, for a loving person, it consists in making the partner feel good.
• You can have your own entertainment, hobbies, and even different friends. But this does not become a reason for jealousy and conflicts on this basis. This is love.
• We also do not forget to pay attention to those around us. Love has enough time and attention for everyone, and even a piece of your happiness. Other feelings are simply fixated on one person until they go out. Or until they grow into something bigger and higher.
• And once again, let's touch on the topic of conflicts. With love, quarrels become rare over time. Yes, the reason for this is that you perceive your partner completely and completely, and with all the shortcomings. Moreover, solving them is also easier. Conversations are calmer, and a compromise is easier.

Can there be love without falling in love?

No, he can not. The lover must go through all these stages of sympathy. Moreover, love also requires friendship and mutual respect. The fact is that nature has thought out everything to the smallest detail.

• If not for the hormones and the euphoria of falling in love, then no couple would have lived together for more than a week.
  • Recall that conflicts are normal. After all, two different people are on the scales. If everyone does not begin to adjust the scales from their side, then they will continue to outweigh and fluctuate.
• Then the habit turns on. Yes, her role is also important. You don't need to live only by habit or attachment, just at that turning point, when you want to give up everything and run away, it is just attachment that slows down.

• And only then, when you go through the “seven circles of family problems”, learn to put up and accept your partner as he is, then love will begin to generate.
• And then, for its development, you need to constantly work on yourself and your relationship.

How long does love and being in love last and can falling in love turn into love?

They say "love lasts 3 years." This is both true and wrong at the same time. This is the period of being in love. When the butterflies from the belly are gone, and you begin to look at the world with a sober look. By the way, for some, this period develops in different ways - from 6 months to 4 years. Love is born for a long time and does not have a specific time. They say that it is eternal. Yes, love can really last a lifetime.

Love and Falling in love: a parable

There is a very informative, instructive and touching parable. The essence of the parable is that Love will forgive and endure much, except for Indifference.

High feeling

Love is a complex and multifaceted concept. It can be different: maternal love and love for parents, for work, for occupation, love for life in general. But the most important feeling that almost everyone dreams of experiencing is love for the opposite sex. At all times, people But such a burning desire often caused excessive haste, which, in turn, led to sad consequences. Most often, this happens when a person is not sure of his feelings and wishful thinking. So what's the difference between

Love or is it falling in love?

These two words, which have the same root, mean slightly different phenomena. Falling in love is a certain sympathy, admiration for a person. In a sense, she is the initial stage towards a strong and confident feeling - love. Love is no longer an easy passion and not a blind desire to be with the object of one's adoration, but a feeling of boundless warmth, trust and tenderness, thought out by the heart and mind. So what is the difference between being in love and time. It takes time to realize that your feeling is really more than a fleeting flash. The second condition is experience. You will have to go through a lot with your chosen one, see him in different situations in order to boldly declare that this is love. You should really know what kind of person he is, how he lives, how he looks at the world.
This does not mean that your views and behavior should be the same.

Instead, you just accept them and love the person for who they really are.

Another thing that distinguishes falling in love from love is that in the first case (due to lack of information and time), you can create an ideal image using the example of your sighing subject. Not noticing his shortcomings and adding imaginary advantages, you are in a state of love with respect not to a real person, but to your fantasy. What else? What is the difference between falling in love and love? In the first case, it is an incredible desire to be near, blind passion. Pure noble love does not ask for anything in return. For a person who loves, it is enough to know that his chosen one is happy in order to feel happy himself. Falling in love - Love is self-giving. Falling in love is a surge of emotions. Love is a wise calm feeling. Here, perhaps, we have named the main criteria that allow us to answer the difficult question: "What is the difference between falling in love and love?"

Don't be afraid to fall in love and love

And one more thing: if you stopped loving a person, it most likely was not love. No resentment, pain, quarrels and partings can kill this strong feeling. So, if after a certain time of suffering or, conversely, a good time spent, your feelings began to fade away, then your heart has not yet overtaken love. There is nothing wrong or wrong with falling in love. It's okay for people to like other people, when they want to be with them. It is also correct to give in to such desires. But don't rush and call it love. If this is really her, then you yourself will understand this over time and also realize how falling in love differs from love.

Today we will analyze another concept - falling in love.

What is sympathy and what does it depend on?

Often not only love but also sympathy for a person is taken for love. Although these feelings have some similarities and signs, they should not be confused, because in depth and strength of manifestation, they differ significantly.

Sympathy is sustainable approving attitude towards other peopleexpressed emotionally. Usually it is manifested by friendliness, benevolence, admiration for someone or something. Sympathy is also the desire for communication between people, to provide them with help, attention, etc. actions in relation to the one to whom it arises.
What can cause sympathy? Several factors and circumstances:

• similarity of views, values, attitudes and moral ideals;
• attractive appearance, demeanor, character;
• the presence of any similar signs, for example, the same birthday, the same age;
• neighborhood in residence, study in the same school, class, etc .;
• mutual sympathy, i.e. if we like someone, then this person can cause sympathy for us

Sympathy has one distinguishing feature - similarity in anything two sympathetic people. But sometimes it is the other way around: a nice person seems to us something like us.

Sympathy can turn into passion, a strong attachment, when reinforced by some action, combines several bonding factors, such as physical attractiveness, common interests, and frequent communication. When disappointed in a person we like, a cooling of feelings for him appears, which can develop into antipathy.

What is falling in love?

Falling in love is a characteristic feeling, which is distinguished several features, visible to an outside observer, but usually not noticeable to a lover blinded by this feeling:

• she literally flashes falls suddenly, "Like snow on the head", accompanied by strong emotions, new impressions. Often the glamor passes just as suddenly, causing bewilderment and the question: "What was that?"
• falling in love is often accompanied by self-doubt, fear of literally everything, from weight gain to possible disappointment in you as an object of adoration due to your insufficiently high social status, etc.;
• all life is concentrated on one person, all other interests recede, the subject of love is idealized, is seen as a fairy-tale prince or princess, an example in everything. Because of this, there are frequent conflicts with relatives and friends who do not wear “rose-colored glasses” and perfectly see the shortcomings of the so-called “ideal” and try to dispel your delight by pointing out them;
• lovers are two persons, there is no community in the relationship, the word "we" is not in their lexicon either, because only passion, often purely sexual, connects two;
• over time, the relationship is clouded by frequent quarrels, which end in a complete break.

They usually fall in love not with a person, but with some idealized image that has little in common with a specific person. The intoxication passes, giving way to disappointment and pain.

Falling in love is human desire to end loneliness, warm up next to someone, take care of this person, be with him. All unclaimed feelings are poured out on the subject of adoration. But the hero of your fantasies remains a stranger, who often have no desire or opportunity to study, because euphoria in relationships does not allow at first to destroy the image created in the head with the features of an ideal hero hung on it.

This feeling can only become something more with wide open eyes and ears. And this requires a lot of effort, patience and desire.

Young people who easily start and end romantic relationships "prepare" themselves for a future divorce.

Are you ready for marriage?

• How do you feel about money?
• What shows that you are wisely managing your funds?
• Do you have debts, loans? If so, how do you pay for them?
• How much will your wedding cost? Will you have to get bogged down in debt?
• When you get married, will you both be working? How will you combine your work schedules (to spend time together)?
• How will you plan your expenses?

True love ... What is it?

Falling in love from a deeper and more real feeling is distinguished by such a simple example. If a woman has freckles or another visual defect, then a man in love does not notice them, and a loving man sees them perfectly, but loves as an integral part of his beloved.

True love is a miracle that has a whole a number of excellent qualitiesthat distinguish it from ordinary love:

• all the human dignity of a partner, his personality are important no less than physical attraction to him;
• the positive traits of a loved one are extremely appreciated, and his weaknesses are accepted without pretensions, just as a fact;
• love is not sudden, it does not come immediately, because You can love with all your heart only a well-known person, this feeling is always tested by time;
• you always want to be with your loved one, he never gets bored, separation from him is a great test;
• love reveals the best qualities of a person who strives for self-improvement, struggling with his shortcomings and weaknesses;
• true love is a strong bond of souls for many years, when neither time nor distance is afraid. In separation, loving hearts always find an opportunity to communicate;
• in disagreements, loving hearts seek compromises, understanding a partner, yielding to each other. Discord in their relationship is a reason for reconciliation, strengthening real relationships;
• real feelings are disinterested, love gives itself completely and completely, not looking for any benefits and self-affirmation;
• trials and obstacles are overcome together, so nothing can overcome this great feeling.

Love or falling in love?

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1. Question 1 of 10

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   “… Blind, and she likes it. She doesn't want to face the truth. "

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   "... does not close his eyes to mistakes and shortcomings and is ready to put up with them."

Perhaps there is no stronger feeling among the entire spectrum of human emotions than love. She rules the world, inspires heroic deeds and just keeps the planet alive. Although, is it fair to attribute all these merits to this feeling? And how not to confuse it with what is commonly called the basic instinct? Indeed, in a fit of passion, a representative of the opposite sex may seem so attractive that confessing love to him will not be the slightest difficulty. Especially when it comes to the age at which hormones undergo a kind of "test drive", and life experience does not yet allow one to orientate himself well enough in what is happening. That is, it is young girls and young people who most often do not know how to distinguish love from falling in love and just attraction.

However, there is nothing reprehensible in this, because all people are subject to emotions, and all ages are subject to love. In a fit of feelings, even a mature person finds it difficult to soberly assess his condition and behavior. And yet you need to strive to observe, analyze and draw correct conclusions about what is happening not only in the body, but also in the soul and consciousness. Distinguish between vivid, but fleeting and superficial impressions from genuine, long-lasting and deep experiences. It's not so difficult if you pull yourself together in time and figure it out properly, without neglecting the important signs that distinguish love from falling in love. He is them, we propose to talk. But, getting acquainted with the following information, do not forget to comprehend it and apply to yourself. This is the only way to avoid mistakes and distinguish love from falling in love.

What is falling in love
The emotional sphere is very complex and multifaceted. All people are different, and the manifestation of feelings very much depends on the temperament, character, upbringing, life experience and even the hormonal state of each person. And yet, psychologists and neuropathologists are not working in vain. They were able to create at least a schematic representation of the stages that almost everyone goes through, who met a strong hobby on their life path. Regardless of whether the feeling turns out to be mutual, and how the new relationship will develop, falling in love can be conditionally divided into two main parts: inspiration and actually falling in love. Each of them has its own characteristics and typical manifestations.

1. Inspiration occurs almost at the same moment when you saw the person you are interested in. You still do not know who he is, what his name is and how old he is, but he is already different in your eyes from the other people around him. From this second on, you will also highlight it against the general background and unconsciously search among others. You are fascinated by everything in a new acquaintance: his voice, eyes, facial features, facial expressions, manner of dressing, sense of humor and hobbies. But at the same time, the shortcomings are leveled, and such insignificant nuances as the shape of the lips, eye color and even the style of the shirt can acquire great value. Inspiration can last from a couple of days to a couple of months, after which it either dissipates or moves into the next, slightly more conscious stage - falling in love.
   
2. Love comes after the enthusiasm in the event that you managed to continue communication with the person interested. You dared to speak to him and made sure that he is really as beautiful as he seemed to you at first glance. When he is near, your heart beats faster, your cheeks glow, and time flies by. When he is not around, you find yourself thinking about him almost constantly, remembering his words and imagining what he is doing at this moment without you. All this testifies to the fact that in your mind there is an image not of a real, really existing and met person, but of an imaginary one, as you would like to see your ideal chosen one. If you understand this in time, you can even get some benefit from this state: it will help you understand what exactly you are looking for in your life partner, how you want to see your loved one and what qualities you need most of all. But avoid strongly associating these traits with reality - most likely, most of them are invented by you.
   

• Partner idealization - these are pink glasses that you wear 24 hours a day and look at your beloved exclusively through them. There is no person in the world more beautiful, smarter and more attractive than your sweetheart. All other people seem unworthy of his little finger. It has no shortcomings and cannot be by definition!
  
• Excessive emotionality, in which state you are. Speak a lot and loudly, smile often and be ready for any madness, especially if the object of your passion is watching them. You so want to make an exceptional, most favorable impression on him!
  
• Obsession with a partner. Wherever you are, whatever you do, your thoughts invariably return to him, and actions are directed towards him. In a clothing store you are looking for something that suits him, in a grocery store for something that tastes good to him. Even at a dog show, you manage to find exactly the breed that would suit him!
  
• Impatience in desires and actions. You need everything at once, here and now. A slight delay or being late for a meeting is equivalent to a disaster, because you will spend an extra 5 minutes apart. You'd rather spend half your salary on a plane ticket than travel three times longer to meet a sweet friend on the bus. No time to wait!
  
• Resentment to anyone and everyone who dares to question the value of your feelings or the uniqueness of your beloved. You are ready to answer him rudely without hesitation, rush to protect your beloved and prove to the whole world that no one dares to speak badly about your partner. You take insults against him personally, period!
  

1. Love is classic. Probably, it is not for nothing that it is considered the best, most valuable and rare feeling between people. After falling in love, only a small part of partners manage to achieve it, especially given the varying degrees and depths of their love for each other. And only if the goals, life positions and personality traits of two people coincide, they form a strong couple, connected by true love. This is a long-lasting feeling, experiencing which, two people sincerely care for each other, strive to help and support. They are ready to sacrifice themselves for the well-being of a loved one and give more to him than take for themselves. At the same time, the balance of comfort is still observed - provided that the feeling is mutual and equal on both sides. Such love can be called realized.
   
2. Attachment - a deep, calm feeling that comes after love. It is more measured, does not imply explosions of passion and accepts all the flaws in the character, age, behavior of the partner. It is even difficult to name two people at this stage of the relationship as partners - because they have already become family, truly inextricably linked. Affection can be considered the final stage of a love relationship, but this does not mean that it is talking about the ending. On the contrary, attachment can last until the death of the spouses and sometimes takes up the lion's share of the life span. Love affection is love multiplied by habit, comfort and complete understanding. This is the pinnacle of feelings that a human being can experience.
   

• Knowing a partner, features of his character and individual traits. Not only its advantages, but also disadvantages. After all, your loved one is just a person. He is dear to you personally, but there are other people in the world, both the best and the worst. You do not need anyone but your beloved - but not because he is perfect, but because he is him, and there are simply no others. And even if there is, you will not search and find out. You just don't need anyone else.
  
• Calmness - a peaceful, even state of confidence without emotional outbursts. You always remember about your loved one, but thoughts about him cause not close to stress, but a calm and warm feeling. You are not afraid to part with him for a minute or even for a day, because you know for sure that you will see each other soon and both will be glad of this meeting. Internal and external harmony is a sign of real, "quality" love.
  
• Development - own and help in the development of a loved one, broadening one's horizons together and one by one, sharing experience and new knowledge. In general, a lot of important, constructive information and the world around and life apart from relationships. All this makes love itself deeper, more productive and fulfilling. Because only the union of two developed personalities can become lasting and interesting for both.
  
• Patience and tolerance. Your feeling was not born yesterday and you do not expect its finale from day to day. You don’t think about time at all, don’t rush things, don’t rush your partner - you just live for today and enjoy the moment. Deep down, knowing for sure that you still have a lot of time ahead of you to be happy, and you will have time to complete everything planned and what you just come up with and want later.
  
• Irony stems from knowing oneself and a loved one, as well as understanding the nature of relationships, all the pitfalls and the inevitability of some moments in life. This gives you the strength to face trials with a smile and overcome them with dignity. This is acceptance of one's own choice, understanding of its value, awareness of one's own imperfection and condescension to the shortcomings of another. Ultimately, this is an unwillingness to compare.
  

And if you are still in doubt about where your personal feelings are at the moment, try to take a small test yourself, honestly answering such questions to yourself. From time to time it will not hurt anyone to ask them, you can even regularly arrange for yourself re-certification - for example, every spring or after meeting a new pretty representative of the opposite sex:

1. What is your appetite? Is there an addiction to a certain type of food? Don't feel like looking at food at all? Forgotten to eat?
   
2. Do you experience emotional "withdrawal" in the absence of a partner, or can you calmly wait for the next meeting with him?
   
3. Do you feel jealous at the thought that your beloved at this moment can talk and / or spend time with other people, even of the same gender?
   

Ah, love! It is the creative force of being that dominates everything. And only a person asks questions about how to distinguish love from falling in love, instead of just tasting the goodness of being. But since there is a request, we are ready to satisfy it.

Love as an affect

There can be two ways here.

1. You can reveal the topic through images.
2. You can go to dry scientific language.

The second way is not close to us (we suspect that neither is the majority of readers), so we will use the universal language of mental pictures.

Affect is a powerful emotion. Imagine you set fire to paper and it burns up in a minute. This is how our experiences “burn out” during the passion.

"At a drunken party ..."

And you don't have to make such a face. Alcohol, in addition to negative qualities, has some positive ones. For example, it reduces the level of mind control over a person's feelings.

Each of us had such a classmate who really wanted to hug, but we did not dare.

And now 10 years have passed since the day of graduation from school. Everyone is celebrating. All funny and drunk as a lord. And the man is left alone with her, and suddenly "Morozov's passion seized him with his calloused hand," and "the love of all school life" succumbs. Then what happens is what usually happens in such cases. He doesn't call her anymore, she doesn't call him either. School complexes came out with the sweat of the first and last love night.

What was it? How to distinguish love from falling in love in this case? Everything is simple here: it is love marinated for long summers. After all, two people are not connected by anything except memories, and, trying to catch up with the outgoing youth, they fall into each other's arms.

Teenage love

Adolescence is the time to fall in love spontaneously and therefore insane. Falling in love is generally much more fun than love. Love is something so fundamental, rooted in the deep layers of metaphysical and everyday life. Falling in love is an easy barefoot girl who does not know how to cook, does not want to give birth to children and run a household. She languishes in such conditions. Falling in love is an emanation and embodiment of sexual energy as it is. It's almost pure sex drive with a touch of romanticism. Love motto: "I want!". Unfortunately or fortunately, only a teenager or a young man can fall into this insane state when he is not burdened with any worries. And then you can't fall in love like that. Then either sexual attraction without any romanticism, which is vulgar, or true love, which, although based on passion, is no longer so crazy. Love has its own advantages, but, unfortunately, it is no longer a child of spontaneity, like being in love. Love is a grown-up young girl with clearly defined priorities. To keep it, you need to work hard, and above all on yourself. We hope it is clear to you now how to distinguish love from falling in love.

Teenage love is impossible. Why?

Someone will be indignant and shout about Romeo and Juliet. Calm down. They were in love. In addition, if it were not for all these obstacles, and the heads of the warring families would say with one voice, “Lord, what is wrong with us? Get married, children, good health, and we will look forward to our grandchildren ”, how much longer would the love / falling in love of the most famous teenage couple live? We don't know, but surely not for long.

Feelings Benefit from Difficulty

And yes, there is another vulgar formulation (probably once it was a deep thought, but over time it got worn out): difficulties harden love and throw wood into its fire. Eh, the Montagues and the Capulets did not show psychological sensitivity, but in that case there would be no Shakespeare's tragedy. However, we are distracted. Please be patient and calm. All this in one way or another relates to the topic: "How to distinguish love from falling in love?"

Sinclair Lewis and his "love schemes"

Sinclair Lewis, who was not always a super-demanded writer and Nobel laureate, was once engaged in a literary day: he wrote simple love stories for newspapers and magazines. He invented several schemes according to which events in his works were to develop. They paid pennies for them, but an American writer wrote them at 15 pieces per evening. And in these patterns there were always difficulties, partings, then reunions.

Eternal theme: boy and girl

Teenagers cannot form a stable, long-term bond, since the boy and the girl have different motives. A boy wants a girl, and a girl wants romance and a beautiful relationship. The chosen one of a young lady cannot give her this due to natural hormonal reasons and general psychological immaturity.

Therefore, the question of how to distinguish love from falling in love in adolescents is a little idle. At this time, there is no love, and it cannot be like a union of two people oriented towards the distant future.

Someone will say: "But there are people who have been together all their lives, isn't this love?" Different answers are possible here. But these people grew up together and with each other, where is the guarantee that this is not a habit or a convenience? In this case, love has outlived itself, and love took its place. This also happens, but do not confuse one and the other.

What does the phrase "I love you" mean?

It is so often pronounced by all and sundry. We already forget what it really means. We will try to return it to its original meaning. "I love you" means "I want children from you and I am ready to grow old with you (next to and together)." All other interpretations are from the evil one.

A natural question arises: how to distinguish love from falling in love in a man?

House. Children. Dogs and cats

If a man does not stutter about anything like that, then he thoroughly fools the woman's head. Maybe it's falling in love, maybe it's just lust. The latter is more likely. If a man does not make plans for the future, it means that he does not see a woman in them.

And for women, this is always a very painful question (how to distinguish love from falling in love). Psychology can give the answer: motives are key here, that is, the answer to the question "Why?"

Why does a man meet a woman, what does he expect, what does he offer? By answering these, we will not be afraid of this word, eternal riddles, you will resolve the situation one way or another.

Wives and mistresses are not only different concepts, but also categories of women.

The sign of our time is the consumption of people and things. It is not surprising that people are afraid of being deceived. This is especially true for women, because their youth is not eternal. A girl must achieve some definition in her personal life before she is 25. “Definition” does not mean exactly the wedding, children, etc., but at least the final choice of whoever it is possible with. When a girl makes the most important bet in her intimate life, she probably should no longer be wondering how to distinguish love from falling in love. The short answer here may be this: in relation to the beloved man towards her.

By the same criterion, one can understand who a woman is for a man - a mistress or a future wife. Again, we return to the damned bourgeois side of life: does he want to have cats, dogs, give birth to children with a girl, then make animals and children a living cocktail of happiness, if yes, he is yours, and you are his. If not, then run, because you are either a mistress or a future housekeeper, on whom there will be a house and children, as well as maintaining some kind of warm atmosphere in the family, where everything has already been covered with a cold frost of alienation.

It is clear that this is not very specific and very figurative, but if you ask how to distinguish love from falling in love, the answers can be very different and always individual, because psychology is not mathematics, and in the "queen of sciences" not everything is as definite as it can show up.

Modern marriage is a space of alienation. Why?

There are two main reasons:

• lack of education and intelligence;
• consumer attitude as a norm of life.

For the same reasons, the divorce rate reaches 50 to 70%. So it goes.

The consumption attitude ruins not only marriage (a good deed will not be called “marriage”), which would not be so scary, but consumption as an ideology destroys warmth and warmth in human relations.

People are not looking for a comrade in arms on the battlefield of life, but a biological object that could satisfy their physical and psychological desires. And this is a big problem.

We hope that it has become clear that the question of how to distinguish love from falling in love cannot be answered shortly, because every time you have to look vigilantly at those who are under suspicion and draw conclusions.

The main thing is to remember: you are free and do not have to be with someone who does not appreciate or offend you. Life time is fleeting and, unfortunately, irreversible.

The all-Russian problem is that women have low self-esteem. This provokes various tragic collisions of the fate of the girls. They live with alcoholics, drug addicts, let their husbands dismiss their hands. Perhaps if a girl at an early age learned to distinguish between love and being in love, then we would all live a little better.