Some kids don't like being in contact with strangers. I don't love my child, or is motherhood always wonderful?

A psychologist or teacher would call such a child withdrawn. Most people - both kids and adults - enjoy interacting with other people. They like to smile at each other, talk to each other, that is, enjoy communication. Most babies report waking up by either crying or babbling. But children with developmental disabilities, when they wake up, lie quietly and look at the ceiling.

In fact, some babies don't seem to enjoy being around other people.

They act as if they want to be alone.

Some babies don't smile when you talk to them, others don't reach out to you when you pet them or pick them up.

Some babies are hypersensitive to touch, and communication with them requires compliance certain conditions(see section “Movement problems” topic 8. pp. 116-119).

Others take longer to understand what is happening and react accordingly. You need to pet these babies for a long time and smile at them before they smile back at you. Sometimes a child with a developmental disability is ready to smile, but the adult turns away at this time.

If the baby does not smile, then it is very difficult to wait for the manifestation of joy on his part with a smile.

"Children with developmental disabilities: A book to help parents / Translated from English. Edited by D. V. Kolesov. M.: Pedagogika, 1988. P. 120-127; 148-152.

You may feel awkward or offended by your baby.

When an adult doesn't answer you, you usually stop communicating with him.

If the baby does not coo and is not happy about being held, it is quite natural for you to want to stop communicating with him.

However, remember that many children with developmental disabilities do not respond as quickly as you would like.

Your baby may take significantly longer than other children to learn.

To understand the meaning of what is happening, he may have to see and hear the same thing over and over again. That's why, if you want to help a troubled baby learn to smile and coo, you should smile and talk to him more often than you do with normal babies.

Instead of responding to your smile with a smile and a gurgle, your child with developmental disabilities may simply look at you or even look the other way.

Of course, you will think that the baby does not want to play with you.

However, it is extremely important that you do not stop trying to communicate and

play with him.

Your baby needs more communication than ordinary children to learn how to behave in the presence of other people.

It may very well be that you will have to make special efforts to teach your baby to communicate not only with you, but also with other people.

You may need to interact with your baby longer and more frequently to give him enough time to develop communication skills.

If the baby does not know how to smile, walk and show with some body movements what he wants, he can use other means to attract attention. For example, a baby may pull your clothes, hit you, and even hit you in the face if you pick him up, pull his hair or glasses, and he does not stop his actions, although you try to distract him. This behavior of your baby may mean that he wants to play or communicate with you, but does not know how to communicate this.

The baby can resort to such methods even when his attempts to communicate his desires to you with the help of humming and smiling are unsuccessful. The baby does not want to hurt you, he does not want to upset you, he just attracts your attention, not knowing how it can be done otherwise. Of course, if your child hits you or someone else, others will judge you for your bad parenting.

However, you need to remain calm and patiently teach your child how to get adults' attention in ways other than hitting and pulling hair. While carefully monitoring your baby's behavior, you should not miss situations when the baby is especially inclined to communicate. Let's say if the baby is looking at you, smile at him and take him in your arms.

Then the baby will know that you really enjoy being with him. You need to pay attention to him every time you notice him smiling, and try to ignore his hits and hair pulling, although this is not easy.

However, remember that the baby easily repeats his actions if they attract attention. ,

If you become angry with your child for actions that you do not like, and do not react in any way to actions that you like, the child will begin to do what is somehow noted by you, that is, precisely the actions that you condemn.

Communication problems are more likely to occur in those babies who do not like to be stroked, touched or picked up.

Babies learn to enjoy the company of other people, enjoying feeding, bathing and dressing.

If the baby has problems with movements, it is difficult to feed, dress and bathe him. You probably won't enjoy these procedures. Moreover, at these moments you will be especially tense.

However, if you are tense, your baby will easily feel it. When developing communication skills in a baby whose movements are not all right, we should not forget about this. If your baby's muscles are too tense or, conversely, constantly relaxed, or if he is hypersensitive to touch, talk to your doctor about what position your baby feels most comfortable in. It is in this position that the baby will be most comfortable and pleasant to play and communicate with you (see the section “Movement problems”, topics 1-3. pp. 76-91). Even if you are extremely concerned about the baby’s health, or his physical disabilities, or how difficult it is to teach him something, it is especially important that the baby feels not so much your concern as your love for him.

To do this, you need to pick him up and play with him. He should feel that you enjoy being with him. Then he will feel confident and will want to smile and cheer when you or anyone around him talks to him.

Of course, sometimes you will give up because of all the problems that have arisen. This mood is a sign that you need to take a little break from your activities with your baby. Ask someone you trust to babysit while you go to the movies, visit friends, or have some other fun. Don't let your child feel that his problems upset you. After all, if he has them from birth, then he perceives them as something completely natural.

Doctors around the world unanimously confirm: the delicate skin of a baby needs periodic ventilation. And air baths for a child are great way hardening and development of sensory sensations. But it's one thing short stay naked, the other is permanent. The location is also important: a children's room, a lawn in front of a dacha, a public beach or a swimming pool. If you think that the baby loves to remain naked from birth, then in vain. After a long stay in an aquatic environment in mom's tummy It’s not easy for a baby to adapt to the airy atmosphere, even with help natural mechanisms. Surely, many parents have noticed that in the first months of life, toddlers cry when their clothes are taken off. The reaction is explained by the fact that the baby, accustomed to warmth, is uncomfortable in a cool environment. The baby's first air baths occur naturally– when changing a child’s clothes, changing diapers, bathing. And you have to get used to them.

Why? It is air baths for a child that step by step mobilize the reserves of the body’s adaptive systems. Air hardening, that’s what it’s called air bath in babies, start at 2–3 weeks. First, during swaddling, the child is left to lie naked for 1-2 minutes 2-3 times a day and by the end of the first half of the year it reaches 15 minutes.

Naked child: got the taste

As soon as the child gets used to the temperature difference, he begins to experience pleasure from his own nudity. Which is not surprising: he still has nothing to be ashamed of - the baby still doesn’t know anything about gender differences, and clothes do not restrict movement. Further more. The habit of running around naked gets stronger, and it becomes more and more difficult for mom to dress the little one. And experts advise acting according to the circumstances. If a child is at home or on the dacha lawn, and adults are convinced that his skin will not suffer from contact with harmful substances and dangerous circumstances, then let everything remain as it is. The situation has changed, for example, it is already past 11 am, i.e. the sun is starting to get hot, or, conversely, evening is approaching, mosquitoes are flying - put clothes on the little one.

Why? At the site of an insect bite, itching occurs, which is poorly tolerated by children: they begin to fiddle with the point of contact with the fauna inhabitant, scratching it until it bleeds, risking infection. Unpleasant sensations intensify, the skin becomes red, inflamed, scratches and even wounds appear on it. WITH sun rays you also need to be careful: they will burn instantly delicate skin. Sand is also dangerous: in hot and wet sand, streptococci, chlamydia, mycoplasma, various fungi, the human papillomavirus, which causes warts, and poxvirus, which can cause molluscum contagiosum, thrive. Sand also causes inflammation of the skin - contact dermatitis.

What do psychologists think?

Psychologists also do not insist that a toddler who takes off his clothes must be clothed. Moreover, a persistent desire to remain naked is considered a sign mental health. And the opposite desire indicates problems. Gymnophobia - fear of nudity - cannot occur in a healthy toddler. If your child is only 3 years old and already feels uncomfortable with his own nudity, you should consult a psychologist.

Why? As the baby gets older, he feels freer. He can already crawl, sit, stand against a wall, which means he is confident in his strength own body, admires it and shows it to others. Now he likes the way he looks. Therefore, he feels much more confident naked than dressed.

What does mom think?

Parents certainly want to dress their baby for several reasons: to prevent hypothermia, for sanitary and hygienic reasons, or for the desire to teach the little one the rules good manners, prescribing to be in in public places in clothes. Otherwise he will grow up to be a nudist or shameless. Theoretically, a child who is not aware of his gender cannot be ashamed of his sexual characteristics. But there are two opinions on this matter. Dr. Komarovsky is quite categorical: “As soon as the child begins to walk, we put panties on him.” On the other side of the barricade is psychologist, specialist Natalia Litvin, who states: “Children’s sexuality awakens after three years, but not later than six. Each child has his own time. By this age, the child begins to study his body according to the principle “how it works”, understands how it differs from others.”

Why? Until the baby realizes that people are divided into two sexes, he should not be shamed for wanting to run around naked. But as soon as the “process has begun”, connect. Help your child understand the boundaries of intimacy - explain that everyone has genitals, but they cannot be shown in public, that we all (including mom and dad) cover them with underwear.

From letters from readers

For the first time, I thought about the acceptability of child nudity on the beach. Some parents looked disapprovingly at my blond two-year-old little daughter, happily playing on the shore with her bare bottom or splashing in the pool. In a Muslim country, women themselves swim in long dress and with his head covered. And their children, who cannot even walk, take sun and sea baths in swimsuits. At home, because of the heat, I can still afford to walk around completely naked. My daughter is still only two years old, and we have only recently completed breast-feeding, and the sight of a bare chest does not raise any questions other than “about eating.” We also sleep naked and together. Is this really abnormal?

Anna Ts., Penza

It’s one thing to run around naked all day, but it’s another thing to spend ten minutes while changing clothes...

Inna, Moscow

The daughter doesn’t hide from her dad, the son doesn’t wrap himself in shorts and T-shirts from me. Well naked and naked. Everything should be calm, naturally...

Svetlana, Bolshevo

I feel sorry for the girls who, with horror, quickly pull on their tights, just so they don’t see their panties. Why such complexes?

Vera, St. Petersburg

I regularly monitor children dance competitions. Everyone changes clothes in one room, boys and girls, small and large. And they don’t care who has what underpants...

Marina, Kazan

I don’t welcome sitting with my bare butt on the floor, but I’m also not horrified by naked walking around the house. Everything is good in moderation. Until they are two years old, cubs still have no shame in nakedness, so until they are two years old, let them show off their naked bottoms.

Olga, Tver

All children are different. My mother told me how, when I was two years old, I made the audience laugh on the Black Sea beach, not allowing my dad to take off my dress, covering myself with my hands and shouting: “What are you talking about, I’m not wearing a bra!”

Masha, Moscow

Memo for parents

• After three years, do not allow your child to walk naked around the house.
• If a child sees a parent of the opposite sex naked, do not make a tragedy out of it. Don't focus on the situation at all.
• Right now, a child may ask you: “Where did I come from?” And it’s best not to tell fairy tales about the stork and the cabbage, but to give a truthful answer without burdening the child with unnecessary details and details.
• There is no need to panic and change sandy beaches to pebble ones. Pests also live on stones.
• The baby will not run into trouble if he is on the beach in a swimsuit or at least panties, and walks along it in shoes.
• It is better not to sit or lie on bare sand, especially damp sand, near sun loungers or under awnings.
• After visiting the beach, be sure to wash your child and treat his feet with an antiseptic.
• Avoid swimming pools that do not insist on cleanliness for swimmers, including showering before swimming. Sweat and other body products mix with chlorine to create disinfection byproducts. When people wash with soap and water before entering a swimming pool, they help minimize the generation of harmful byproducts.
• Check to see if your baby’s clothes are tight, rubbing or tight. Maybe he's just uncomfortable?
• Try putting it on your toddler different models, suddenly you’ll like something.

Hello, dear mothers. Probably, almost every one of you has heard a child say that he does not love his mother. In this article, you will learn what exactly can cause this behavior and how to deal with it.

Why is this happening

Let's figure out what factors contribute to the birth of such phrases in the baby's head.

1. Mom often finds fault, behaves too strictly and biased.
2. Constantly busy, tired.
3. Indifference to events in the child's life.
4. Mom is bad, she forbids everything, but dad and grandmother allow and spoil.
5. At the age of 4-5 years, a girl may begin to be jealous of her mother and father; it seems to her that she must certainly become his wife, hence the dislike for her mother. This condition passes quickly and is an age-related feature.
6. The answer to the prohibition of any actions or failure to fulfill cherished desires.
7. A child may react this way to punishment, especially if it is unfair.
8. Repeating words previously heard from adults, spoken in a fit of anger, for example, from dad to mom.
9. A response to the same attitude.
10. When a mother really treats her child badly, over time the baby realizes that she is bad and really stops loving her.
11. An attempt to convey to my mother something wrong with words.
12. Antisocial behavior of the mother, for example, alcoholism or drug addiction.
13. Physical violence against a child, all kinds of humiliation.
14. Constant scandals in the family.
15. A method of manipulation to achieve the main goal.

Age characteristics

1. For the first months of life, the baby is completely dependent on his mother; she is the closest and dearest person. It is difficult for the child to part with her, he cries when she is not around, and only calms down in her arms. But as the baby grows older, he begins to pay attention to other close relatives. Perhaps you have encountered a situation where a child is one year old and does not love his mother. This is mainly due to the fact that the baby at this age is already beginning to actively communicate with dad and grandmother, and pays less attention to mommy. Mom's first punishment, the appearance of any prohibition (it may not even be permission to open cabinet doors or throw toys out of the crib), can lead to aggressive behavior, pinching, biting, a rattle may fly into her eye. A woman may think that the toddler hates her. In fact, this is how the child shows his resentment; in reality, he still loves her.
2. Before two years of age You may hear your child say, at a moment of offense, the phrase “you’re bad!” The child already has the minimum lexicon.
3. At the age of two to three years, the toddler already understands the meaning of his statements. At this age, you can hear the phrase “I don’t love you!” for the first time. Often it appears in response to a ban, and the baby can also duplicate what he had previously heard from adults.
4. The age from three to five years is the period when the baby understands that he can manipulate his parents. He realizes that everything has a cause and effect. In addition to manipulation, the way of expressing one’s resentment is also preserved.
5. Ages from five to seven years - the child consciously pronounces this phrase, tries to punish the mother with his own words, and the phrase can also be pronounced in a fit of anger.

How not to behave

1. Don't stop your child from expressing his anger. This behavior serves a specific purpose of a constructive nature.
2. The baby is just learning to express his emotions; there is no need to take it out on him or show your irritation.
3. Never remain indifferent to the feelings and statements of your little one. Sometimes it is better for the child to be scolded than to show no interest in what he has done. After all, then the child may think that you don’t care about him.
4. Never move the conversation from one topic to another. It is important for a child to understand everything completely.
5. Never be led by your feelings. If you punished a child for something and heard words of dislike in response, then you should not, being frightened by this, immediately allow him what was previously prohibited. In this case, the child develops the opinion that a phrase of hatred can solve any of his problems; all he has to do is say it and his mother will allow everything.
6. Never reproach your child for being ungrateful. Don’t say that you do everything for him, and he pays for it with such coin.
7. After the baby’s statement, you don’t need to start delving into yourself and thinking that you “ bad mom" The child will notice this and, at any opportunity, will “cut to the quick.”
8. In some cases, the mother understands that her punishment is unreasonable, this is how her subconscious fears manifest themselves, she blames herself for the lack of attention and care for the child and is afraid that she may lose him. He begins to indulge him in everything, satisfies his every whim. You can't do that.

What to do, how to react

1. Choose your words keeping in mind age characteristics child. You must understand that in the very at a young age It’s still difficult for a toddler to control his anger, so don’t expect good behavior, he himself does not yet realize what he is doing. Take into account what kind of vocabulary your baby has; your explanation about the wrongness of his actions should be constructive and concise. Your task is to explain that the child’s statements are unpleasant and even painful for you. A child over three years old will have to explain for a long time the wrongness of such an act, and perhaps more than once.
2. Leave the right of choice to the child, let him decide for himself whether to pronounce offensive words or not. Tell your offspring that you love him, even if he treats you that way.
3. If once again a phrase of hatred was uttered, describe to your baby how you feel and what you think he is feeling now. Help him understand his own feelings.
4. When you first hear that your son or daughter doesn’t love you, carefully analyze the current situation, think about what provoked such words, what went wrong.
5. Install certain rules in the family, together with the child, negotiate this or that punishment for specific type disobedience. The baby must be prepared for what will follow this or that action. In addition, it is important that his opinion is taken into account when making decisions.
6. If you hear such a statement, you need to react calmly and not take it personally. You need to keep thinking that you great mom, and these words were spoken by the baby in a fit of anger.
7. If, after analyzing your actions, you see that you were indeed wrong, realize that everyone makes mistakes. IN next time see yourself differently.
8. If a child tries to manipulate with his words, think about where he got the stereotype of such behavior. Perhaps you yourself often manipulate, for example, with your dad.
9. Don’t forget to show your love to your baby, show your tenderness and care. He must feel wanted.
10. Give your child as much of your time as possible, engage in creativity, play, go for a walk together.

Grandma is the best

Some families are faced with the fact that the child loves his grandmother more than his mother. This happens especially often if the baby has a lot of contact with her or not at all. In such a situation, jealousy on the part of the toddler’s mother cannot be avoided.

The problem is that in our time, few people can afford to quit their jobs and devote themselves entirely to raising a child. The situation becomes especially complicated if the toddler does not have a father and all concern for his well-being falls on the mother’s shoulders. It’s good if your mother or mother-in-law is nearby, ready to help. So it turns out that the baby spends days on end with his grandmother, while his mother spins like a “squirrel in a wheel.”

A woman becomes very upset when she realizes that she is no longer the most beloved person in her child’s life. But this is a natural process that the child gets used to his grandmother and now it is her who asks for advice, asks for help, hugs and cuddles.

Because of work, parents may not be home much. Some mothers run away even before the baby wakes up and return when he is already asleep. It is not surprising that the child becomes weaned from it, and all love is redirected to the person who is constantly nearby, spends time with him, plays.

The mother must understand that the current circumstances are dictated by the necessity of life, if possible, try to spend more time with the child, even if she comes home late from work. You can read a fairy tale to your child or just have a heart-to-heart talk with him, hug the child, support him in his endeavors, and rejoice at his successes. It's important to find time in your schedule. A mother and a toddler should have joint activities or some kind of traditions. It is important that the baby does not feel abandoned, because there are often cases when, precisely for this reason, he redirects all his feelings to his grandmother, who does not abandon him and is always nearby.

Dad is the main thing in life

There are families in which the child loves the father more than the mother. Moreover, this does not depend on the gender of the baby.

1. In most families, the father scolds the child much less often and puts forward fewer prohibitions. This is due to the fact that he manages to spend very little time with his offspring, and the father does not want to disrupt the relationship or cause tears in the child’s eyes.
2. In families in which only the father works and the mother stays at home with the baby, there may be a feeling that the child loves the head of the family more. In fact, this is dictated by the fact that mom is always nearby, and the baby manages to miss dad.
3. Fathers love to pamper their children and try to give them gifts for any occasion.

Every day, when my brother returns from work, he brings some sweets or small gifts for his daughter.

1. An adult man often behaves like a child. This is what allows you to establish a closer relationship with your offspring.
2. The son likes to spend more time with his father; together they can play with cars, go go-karting, run around with a ball in the yard, and shoot at the shooting range. They have many common interests.
3. Dad will not play with toys with his daughter, but will take even greater care of the little princess, will try to fulfill her every whim, will protect her from mother’s punishments, will always support her, and will have a heart-to-heart talk. Some girls behave like tomboys, so they will happily play boyish games with dad.

I'll tell you about myself. My parents divorced when I was not yet eight years old. Most of all I loved spending time with my dad. It was interesting to play with him, go hiking, listen to his stories. Now I understand that mom had to have time to run to work, do chores, cook food for everyone, and dad, when he came home, could devote all his time to the children. After the divorce, my father moved to live in another city, it became much harder for my mother, she had to raise me and my brother on her own feet, she was forced to work three jobs to feed us. Therefore, she had no time left at all to be close, even just to talk or hug.

1. Often dad's actions contradict mom's educational process. It is difficult for a father to forbid his child to do what he wants. So it turns out that mom is categorically against it when dad allows everything. This is how the father earns his authority in the eyes of the younger generation. The end result is that dad only needs one word for the baby to obey him, but mom doesn’t have a thousand reasons to achieve this goal.

How to change the situation

How to behave so that the little one’s love for you is no less than for dad:

Now you know what can cause such behavior in children. Do not forget about the need to calmly react and think about the situation that has arisen. Act correctly, in accordance with the above recommendations, build a stable bridge of communication with your child, do not forget to pay attention to him, communicate as equals, show your love and care.

It seems that it could be more natural: dad loves mom, mom loves dad, dad and mom love Misha and Katya - their children. Loving family, where all its members treat each other with warmth and tenderness, respect and understanding is only positive emotions. They look up to her, she is presented as an ideal. But what if the program family relations there was a failure - the mother does not love her child?

It’s not customary to talk about this, it’s painful to admit even to yourself, but it happens. Despite the days and months spent together, mother and child do not find mutual language. When they are left alone, it becomes more difficult to hide their feelings, the child feels the mother’s cool attitude and withdraws into himself.

From birth, children are tuned in to the wave of love; they expect warm hugs, gentle touches from loved ones, nice words. Not receiving all this, they look for the reason in themselves. Children feel guilty that they do not live up to their parents' expectations.

Externally this can be expressed as bad behavior, too acute reaction to certain words, nervousness, whims and tearfulness. In this case, parents usually say: “The child is dressed, has shoes on, what else is he missing?” But these words hurt even more, because the child lacks love, parental love. And he doesn’t understand why he’s deprived of it, and how to fix it?

A mother who does not love her child - who is she?

If you were asked to imagine an image of a mother who does not love her child, who would you see? The image will appear first antisocial personality who is busy organizing her personal life, regardless of anyone. She can abandon her child at the first call from a man in order to rush to the last man to the ends of the earth. Her child will suffer, patiently waiting for his mother to return from his next spree, but this fact will not melt the mother’s cold heart.

Another option- the image of a stepmother, who received the child as an addition to a loved one - a spouse or lover. She has nothing against the child himself, but, nevertheless, she believes that it is better for him to live with his own mother than with her, a stranger. The relationship between her and the child can be quite friendly, but naturally, they will be far from heartfelt affection.

Both the first and second options take place in real life, but very common another variation. When outwardly the mother produces the most pleasant impression: She regularly plays with the child on the playground, follows all the doctor’s orders, buys the child sweets and educational toys. Only she and the baby know that she does not have maternal feelings towards her continuation.

It is better to speak with the first image of the mother that we drew in our heads through the letter of the law and with the direct participation of the guardianship authorities. Especially if her actions threaten the safety and life of the child.

The second image, the stepmother, is a variant of the norm and does not require outside intervention.

But we simply must help the third image - a woman who wants but cannot love her child.

Remember: it is easiest to condemn, but it is very difficult to change the situation for the better.

Why does mom have a cold heart?

Sorry, but you're on time!

If you believe in the divine origin of man, each child himself chooses the moment when he appears in this world. Sometimes his conception does not coincide with the wishes of the mother, especially if she is still studying at the institute, is actively building a career or new life arose in her immediately after breaking up with her biological father. Unconsciously, the woman sees in the child the cause of all her troubles, and although she herself understands the absurdity of her accusations, she cannot cope with them.

Everything about you comes from him...

There is a joke going around the Internet right now about a newborn: “I carried it for 9 months, gave birth for 6 hours, and, you see, he looks like his dad!” A mother, surrounded by the attention of a man, is happy to see in her child mirror reflection loved one. A dramatic situation arises when relationships between adults are tense. If a partner does not live up to a woman's expectations, this provokes hostility. The latter, alas, is often projected onto the child.

You came too early

From a medical point of view, there is ideal age when a woman can conceive, bear and give birth to a child. But if we talk from a psychological standpoint, such an age does not exist. It is impossible to say for sure when specific woman will be ready for procreation when she is disposed not only to receive love, but also to give it in return.

Remember, young mothers often enjoy their pregnancy: how come they get so much attention! They perceive their situation as a reason to get more care for themselves. And a newborn not only takes all the attention to itself (and this is natural!) but also requires round-the-clock care.

I feel so bad…

Sometimes the lack of maternal feelings for the baby can be a natural temporary reaction. This is what happens when a new mother experiences all the delights postpartum depression. Being depressed and not receiving help from loved ones in caring for the baby, she may feel irritated towards the defenseless child. But as soon as the woman will come in itself (usually this happens within a few weeks), the problem itself will be removed from the agenda. But if the depression drags on and the woman, engaged in self-flagellation, reverses cause and effect - “I don’t love my child, because it’s very difficult for me now,” the situation will take on a persistent negative connotation. In this case, a woman should definitely consult a psychologist.

How to love your child?

The first and main recommendation of psychologists is to accept your condition. Do not hide feelings, do not be ashamed of them, but work with them until you receive them. desired result. The thing is that it takes too much to deny “cold” emotions mental strength and, as a result, irritation towards oneself and an overwhelming feeling of guilt arises.

Surprisingly, the sincere confession “I don’t feel love for my child” contributes to the emergence of greater affection for him and warmer feelings.

What else can be done?

1. Watch your speech. Never say phrases to your child that can hurt him. For example, “Before you were born, I lived better.” Put yourself in the place of a child, what would you experience if you heard something like this addressed to you?

2. Always apologize to your child for your outbursts and irritation. Even if you don't feel guilty. This is necessary to smooth out relationships and reduce tension.

3. Train yourself to hug, kiss and stroke your child. Let it be formal at first, exclusively in the form of recommendations. Body contacts play a huge role in relationships; very soon you will notice that you are “feigning love” with pleasure and you yourself feel the need for it.

This is how, step by step, you can cultivate sincere, warm and tender feelings to the child. Work on yourself so that he grows up happy!

1. The child loves when people gather around him. Now he needs company. Sitting comfortably on his chair, he takes part in family life. He laughs loudly, and if his gaiety is appreciated, he immediately resumes laughing. The baby communicates his desires with his voice and gestures. If he is offered something that he does not like, he can show “no!” with his hand.

2. The baby loves to play hide and seek, play with dolls (especially with a partner), and say “goodbye” with his hand. When he crawls, he loves to be caught up with and pretend that he is about to be caught.

The child really likes these first games with an adult, but they quickly tire him.

3. Most time, the child likes to play alone (provided that he has something to do). The baby especially likes sound toys. He likes to knock objects on the table and ring a bell.

4. When bathing in the bath, children love to splash, vigorously, and splash the water with their arms and legs. At the table, the baby likes to play with a spoon and a plate. He tries to take a spoon and eat on his own, but he hasn’t succeeded yet, so all his fingers end up in the soup.

What the baby doesn't like

1. Does not like everything new, unexpected, especially something that makes a lot of noise (for example, a vacuum cleaner, coffee grinder).

2. Most often does not pay attention to other children, but is interested in their toys.

3. Doesn't like being made to wait for food.

4. Does not recognize the replacement of things familiar to him.

5. Doesn't like to be alone with stranger, whom one may be afraid of and even experience fear because of his presence.

6. Kids can't stand wet pants.

At the age of eight to twelve months, children appear to have two opposing tendencies: for example, love for a familiar routine and at the same time constant desire do something new. He develops a fear that his mother might go somewhere, and at the same time an irresistible desire to do without her.

1. The baby makes his first attempts to stand on his feet around ten months of age. Gradually he will tend to let go of the bars of the arena. The first falls will scare him

Look at the baby learning to walk. He can hardly stand on his feet, but wants to move around the arena independently. He does not take the hand that is extended to him to help. If he is given the opportunity to act independently, then within two minutes he will look confused. If it is not his mother who brings him porridge, he will be confused. If a stranger wants to kiss the baby, he will start crying. In an unfamiliar house, a child is usually very restless.

2. To get to the object that he wants to take, the child uses his own method of movement: on all fours

What can be said in connection with the above? First of all, the baby gets so used to his surroundings in Everyday life, to his mom and dad, to other family members, that any change confuses him. This does not mean that he is regressing in his development. On the contrary, he develops further, and aversion to change means his ability to distinguish the familiar from the unfamiliar.

3. The baby can sit down on his own and remain in this position for a long time. He can already turn and bend over to pick up an object without falling.

The baby loves the established routine, the habits he has learned because they calm him down, and everything new and unusual bothers him. He will be upset if another person comes to feed him or cover him with a blanket, and not his mother, who has always done this. However, the need for habits is inherent in a person’s character. You will encounter this phenomenon in your child just as acutely at eight and eighteen years as at eighteen months.

4. If you hold the child by the arms, he will be able to walk. But at the same time his head and body are brought forward

The child does not accept any changes in the environment, routine, or food, most often when the mother is far from him. If the mother is nearby, then all changes are much simpler and easier. In your presence, the baby will say hello to a stranger. In front of you, he wants to walk around on his own and try new dishes. In your presence, he is in a hurry to test himself in a new business. He needs confidence that you are always nearby (no matter where: near the bed or in the next room). When safe, a child is trustingly happy and courageous (at any age!).

5. Great pleasure for a baby (much to the displeasure of adults) - throwing objects over the bed rail. He watches where they fall, he likes to watch them fall. He can grab any object, but cannot hold it, since his hand is not strong and its movements are uncertain. The baby cannot yet determine the size of objects

Some mothers, not understanding their child, believe that two year old baby You can simultaneously cultivate a sense of confidence and a desire for independence. In this case, you can make two mistakes. If you tell your child: “Oh, you want to do everything yourself? Please do it. And I’m leaving,” the child will feel abandoned. This is very dangerous for development, especially for young children.

If you say: “You need me, I won’t leave, I will help you,” then the child will always hold on to his mother’s skirt. With such a mother hen, he will never fly on his own wings.

Don't do either one or the other. We will also talk about the mistakes that an unprepared mother can make.

Some tips

Take your baby out of the crib and put him in the playpen - he needs movement. Very busy mom tries to leave the baby in the crib as long as possible. This is mistake. The baby is at the age when he needs movement for development, just as he needed sleep in the first months.

The child begins to sit very restlessly in his high chair, and tries to get up in the stroller. You need to keep a close eye on him. Give him more different toys, because he also loves to touch, suck, feel, hide.

He still loves to throw. Let him quit. To avoid bending over many times a day, tie toys with a string to the bed or playpen.

The baby is proud of his new teeth. He really wants to bite everything, even his mother. Give him teething rings, but remember to wash them often.

Do not leave plastic bags scattered around. The baby can put the bag on his head, which can cause unpleasant consequences.