What should a woman do who doesn't need men at all for her life? Why modern women need men

In our modern world, each person does what he pleases, denying their true purpose, provided by nature itself. Then questions arise - why did the relationship problems begin? And all because they go against nature ... against their essence ....

Psychologist-trainer, teacher of the true essence, director of the consulting company "Practicum" Oleg Silyavsky talks about the correct roles of men and women, the immutability of human nature and why paying 40 rams for a lady is right.

What should be the ideal roles for men and women?

In my trainings, I often invite people to present a simple biological model. For example, there is a house at the edge of the forest, a man, a woman and five children live in it - as it was before. And from here follow all the roles, functions, consequences, who should relate to whom, who should do what. Yes, materially and socially, everything has changed: people live in comfortable apartments, there is no need to cut wood, carry firewood. But at the same time, the archetypal nature of man remained the same. If people do not follow it, then problems begin, certain defects: psychological, social.

In general, in the modern world there is a clear distortion of the roles of men and women, this is how to drink. Painfully people have broken away from their true nature, they do whatever they want. Men forget their roles and functions, women lose theirs ... In this sense, now it is really a complete mess.

If you follow your model, then it turns out that a man should fully provide for a woman?

Of course he should. Definitely. Otherwise, he loses his masculine essence and degenerates. There is such a thing as a spiritual path, and everyone follows it, whether he knows about it or not. If a man does not realize his true biological function, then his path, his psyche are distorted. It's the same with a woman.

Does a man owe a woman something?

If he is a man, then first of all he owes himself, his masculine nature and his spiritual path. The duty of a man, his natural nature, is to be a warrior, protector, patron. And if he doesn't, then he is not a man. Of course, a person can act differently. He really doesn't owe anyone anything. But then let him accept the consequences of what he does, that he does not fulfill his specific purpose. And the consequences will be sad - for both men and women who do not want to go the natural way.

What are the consequences?

For a man, this is the destruction of business, loss of the meaning of life, depression, alcoholism, impotence. There are a lot of options that nature has prepared. In women, a violation of their nature and the correct spiritual path leads to loss of beauty, weight gain, and female oncological diseases.

At first it all seems fun, especially at a young age. They have not yet caught up with these consequences ... Here in Hinduism and Buddhism such a concept as karma is professed. This is a wonderful law in fact - the law of karma, or, as it is also called, the law of universal justice. But even if we remove the mystical side of the issue, the law of karma really exists. And here it is not even necessary to bring all these Buddhist stories about reincarnation. The law of universal justice works already in this life. The essence of this law is very simple: the choices we made yesterday determine our life today, the choices we make today will determine our life tomorrow. Therefore, those people who today make a choice against their true nature can first enjoy, have a lot of pleasure. It seems to them that they have gotten rid of unnecessary obligations: to provide for a woman, to support a family, or - for a woman - to serve a man, maintain a hearth, raise children. But a person can be happy for a year, two, three, and in five it will catch up with him. And after eight it will catch up with him so that he will not seem a little. I have been practicing for twenty years and have seen so many destinies! It works like a clock in fact, and people do not even suspect. They think: this world is like that, you know, do whatever you want in it. And it is not as simple as it seems.

What is the true path of a real man?

He must have a Case first. For a man, it plays a fundamentally important role. If he has no business, then this is not a man. It would be wrong to say "profession" here. Is a businessman a profession? Or an artist?

Again, in a simple biological model, the head of the family must go hunting every day or plow the land. Then he survives, his family survives. Therefore, the main male path, spiritual development, is connected with work. This is the first priority.

And the second priority is a woman. Because a man needs to get rid of the fruits of his work, how to say. If a man does not have a loving woman, then complete delirium begins in his life. For example, he begins to reinvest the fruits of his labor. This is done by many businessmen who have a disorderly relationship. That is, I did one business, I got a lot of money. Where to put them? We need to invest in the next business. I invested in the next one. And now what to do with them? After all, if a man is successful, has created one business, he will do both two and ten. I thought to get rid of the attendants, but there were twice as many of them. We need to do a third business! He will be so bent, he will live his whole life in these businesses, and then at 70 he will find that everything has passed by. There was success, but there was no happiness, and no, he built his entire career, did something else.

Therefore, every man, ideally, should have a woman who would waste his money.

Down the drain?

Yes exactly. Women waste money, it's obvious. Only first a man needs to earn money. And this has always been indicated in traditional cultures. Unfortunately, in the modern world, most of the traditional practices are lost. But in some places there are still such cultures. For example, in the East, such a phenomenon as kalym is still preserved. And that's right, I'll tell you. This is very correct. Because if you cannot pay 40 rams, you cannot be trusted by a woman.

And if a woman does not want you to pay 40 rams for her?

And they have no such idea that a woman does not want to. There is a different upbringing. And the man is also sure: if he paid 40 rams, he knows for sure that the woman wants him, and the children, and the kitchen. I saw it all with my own eyes.

And the man, perhaps, gets pleasure from the fact that the woman wastes his money?

Of course, this is obvious. An ideal family is a family in which a woman does not know where money comes from, and a man does not know where it goes. In terms of money, this is an excellent example of a pair. A woman always has tons of great ways to spend her money.

A man, on the other hand, does not know how to spend cash just like that, he thinks all the time, thinks about how to invest money better. Strives to ensure that there is always a return on invested capital. A woman spends easily. I bought the ring for 9 thousand dollars, for example. And this is still a small one, it is necessary for 25 to make a bigger diamond. Once - and 25 thousand no, flew away to the wind.

Money in this case is the continuation and embodiment of male love. Gifts, flowers, houses, cars, fur coats and specifically cash. If a man loves, then he gives all this to a woman.

And why else does a man need a woman, except to drain money?

In general, a woman is one of the best sources of investment for a man. Provided, of course, that this is a real woman. He puts something into her all the time, and she always succeeds. Once I invested something - the children turned out, another time I invested - the house turned out. On the material level, this is important.

At the social level - status, they say, I have a woman, and the best and most beautiful. It also gives the feeling of a secure rear.

And what about the spiritual level? This is also very important. On a spiritual level, a woman helps a man in one very important matter - in search of truth. Men are looking for the truth all the time, they itch to everything. Is that why there are so many men in science, among the Nobel laureates, for example? Because they have this trick: they want to know how the world works, they want to find the truth. Scientists, religious, even politicians, and those in some way want to know how this world works in order to command it. This is fundamentally important for a man - the truth. And most importantly - the truth about yourself. Find out who I am in this world. And this is exactly the woman who can tell. She speaks directly in words who you are. Goat, for example. And if you're lucky, he says: "You are my hero." And that's all, a man immediately enlightened. Only a real woman can give a man the true image he is looking for. Moreover, he should give it exactly in the way he needs it: I am a hero, I am a winner, I am the best in this world, because such a woman loves me, and she tells me about it.

Still, a lot has changed. Previously, gentlemen got up when a lady entered a room, but now it is not customary to give a girl a place in public transport.

The point is that the classes have shifted a lot. Who were real men in Russia? Mostly officers, nobles. As in Tsvetaeva: “with one bitterness of will you took the heart and the rock” ... And they behaved accordingly. But they were really men!

And then in Russia, almost all the men were destroyed. For about a hundred years, there was a total genocide of the male population. Look. The First World War, then the October Revolution and the Civil War - the destruction of all the colors of the White Guard, the nobility. Those who were not killed were expelled from the territory of Russia. But these were the best men not only in Russia - in the world in general! Further. Dekulakization - the destruction of men in the countryside. Those who could really do something, create a product, keep the farm. Then, through the Stalinist purges, they destroyed the Red commanders, the thinking intelligentsia and, in general, all capable people. The Patriotic War finishes off all the others who were heroes and went to defend their homeland.

As a result, our women were left with no one. It's good if there was only one man in the village after the war. Women are accustomed to doing everything themselves. It's like in the post-war proverb: "I am a horse, I am a bull, I am a woman and a man." After that, the next generations are brought up in a distorted field: boys - in an infantile feminine way (men are not around), and girls - like draft horses. And then this scenario is passed down from generation to generation. And it still works. Our women strive to be independent. I recently read it on Facebook. How to find a real Russian woman? Three-step technique. Set fire to the hut, scatter the horse, wait. [Laughs - approx.]

The Russian woman still strives to grab onto everything herself. "Can I bring you bags?" - "No, don't, I myself." And nothing that the man left, she herself will earn, she herself will raise the children. And she believes that she should be applauded for this. Before, yes, when there was no other choice, it was heroism. But now the situation is different, there are plenty of men. And here it is not necessary to applaud, but to throw tomatoes at her for the fact that she crippled the life of children, because these boys, brought up without a father, do not know what a real man should be, and girls do not know how to deal with the opposite sex. Vicious circle. She should not applaud, but say: “Do you hear, you, patient, get rid of your idiotic scenario, attract a normal man into your life. You don't need to work three jobs and raise children. Learn to be a woman, learn to obey, obey, idolize a man, admire him, and you will be all right. "

That is, a woman does not need to build a career at all, but should only go in for borscht?

A woman cannot build a career. This is not a woman's lifestyle. And a woman cannot work. The female body is simply not designed for stress. Well, let's see. Let's take this box that you have in your editorial office, and we'll walk along the corridor with it. First me, then you. See what will happen.

Well, the female body is not designed for workloads. A real lady should not work, she should have an occupation, and a favorite. If it brings her a good profit, I’ll be all for it. [Laughs - approx.] But if it is not profitable, it doesn't matter. A woman shouldn't earn!

I'm not talking about the fact that a woman cannot receive money or other dividends - fame, respect, recognition - at the expense of social merit. Please, for God's sake, let him do whatever he wants. The main thing is that it doesn't become a job for her. Because only men can and can really work. And women are not created for this business. Their organism and psyche are sharpened for a completely different occupation. First of all, this is borscht, you rightly said. Just don't be so skeptical about it. Borscht is a great thing. But here you have to look more broadly. Not only borscht. It's like saying that a man is only designed for a hammer. Only narrow-minded cynics say that from the side of men, that from the side of women. Everyone has their greatest role in this world. Borscht and hammer are only tools of this greatest role. The most important functions of a woman, which include borscht, are femininity and motherhood in the broadest sense. First you have to be a woman, and then, if she is able to attract and keep a man, start a family, it will come to motherhood. And if she is bad as a woman, then she will not become a good mother either. And femininity is, first of all, beauty, the one that will save the world. In other words, a woman has two main functions: beauty and care, femininity and motherhood. By the way, you can build some kind of business on them. Women are best at careers in these areas. For example, the modeling business. Or a restaurant, all sorts of clubs - where you need to take care of customers. And when women start to manage factories ... For this I would say that you need to have, but I won't be with you. A woman doesn't have that.

Ecology. life. Psychology: Every woman has a secret age when men become indifferent to her. And in a sexual sense, and in general. For some, this happens closer to retirement, for others in the climacteric region, and still others decide it at all by thirty. Such a woman, who scored on men, is determined at once.

Every woman has a secret age when men become indifferent to her. And in a sexual sense, and in general. For some, this happens closer to retirement, for others in the climacteric region, and still others decide it at all by thirty. Such a woman, who scored on men, is determined at once.

The main sign is that she is an aunt! With bad hair, tired eyes and deposits in unnecessary places. Tedious, grumpy, and with clipped wings. What happened to her? I entered the age when men are not needed, I gave up under the weight of resentment and disappointment.

Why is age secret? Because a woman does not tell anyone about him, except perhaps the most stubborn feminists. You have never seen a woman who would have gathered everyone in a circle and announced her disappointment in men. This is simply indecent. Although something tells me that there are such.

How do you understand what happened? The woman seems to cover her heart with iron. The intensity of her pain is such that she decides not to let anyone else near him. She stops trusting men, looking for men and even in her thoughts does not want to imagine that there is a man who is ready to fall in love with her. The price to pay for the peace of an icy heart is very high. Remember mymru from your office romance? Here, this is it.

What does the heart have to do with it? - someone will ask. Men are basically about another organ. You can safely use them without experiencing any mental anguish. I might have agreed. But a woman always has a heart to do with it, right?

Cleopatra's baths came into fashion a couple of years ago. Allegedly, Cleopatra used the sperm of young slaves to maintain her youth. The girls have tried, they say - a lie. Does not help. Does not remove wrinkles, and the look does not shine. Sperm sperm is also a disappointment. Why? Because here everything is past the heart. A woman is rejuvenated and made more beautiful only by injections into the very heart. There is no place for simple sexual mechanics, although they are very important.

Have you ever noticed that a woman in love is good even from a distance? Even when he does not see his beloved, but communicates with him by calls and SMS. Sex in her head, and prettier in reality? How so?

And all because love and passion are really ready to work miracles with us. Rejuvenate, make beautiful. But this happens only with those who believe in love. The rest will have to live out their days as aunts. And it's not even the wrinkles, but the age-old dust of disappointment in the eyes.

So if they ask me how old a woman needs men, I will say - until the last breath. I know that it hurts, that sometimes it’s terribly hard, and you feel emptiness and disappointment, and I’m ready to overgrow my heart with ice, if only it weren’t ... But you cannot. It's not an aunt to die.

And what do you think, there is such an age when women can no longer think about men and forget themselves as a sexual object? published

Lilia Akhremchik - psychologist, coach

I remember that I once read an article where one man popularly explained why successful men over forty do not need a permanent relationship. Say, there is enough money to have someone to do your homework: cook, wash, iron, clean the house, etc. You can always find someone to go out with, and there will be more than one option. If we talk about the benefits of regular sex in a permanent relationship, then, firstly, for a mature man this issue is not so relevant, and secondly, if you are successful, then having sex is not a problem at all. In addition, a mature man, in addition to work itself, is full of hobbies and various activities: hunting, basketball (football, volleyball, etc.), a sauna with friends, traveling, fishing, etc. And no time limit! Nobody burdens you with the fact that you owe something to someone: arrive on time, don’t forget to give it, drop in somewhere “on the way”, think, take care, etc. And in the comments, the people tried to convince that it was good, they say, a dear soul is nearby, that a person did not meet true love, and therefore is trying to decompose its existence into components.

The last few days I also think ... And I can not find the reasons ... Why does a successful woman need a man? Let's immediately discard the arguments “from time immemorial” and “nature laid down”. We're talking here and now about the present tense, ok?

Joint life. Fair? A man's life together only burdens. It is not the man who burdens him, but he burdens himself. And scattered socks are generally a trifle.

In a man, what is usually laid down by his mother? You must be looked after. And I, being an independent, separate person, cannot in any way understand with what joy. With what joy do I take care of the cleanliness of my clothes, the satiety and grooming of the same adult as myself?

He won't follow mine, will he? If I have a need for someone to take care of, then this need is more than compensated for by children and animals. So caring for another adult is only on the terms: you - me, I - you.

I will say more, at the sweet age of forty, there is a need to take care of you too. I'm already close to inviting a housekeeper to cook and clean myself, and not aggravate my existence with obligatory breakfast-lunch-dinner with the emergence of a serious relationship. So to me or me to yourself - only in order to make my life easier, and not hang yourself on me.

And if you handled it yourself? And, in general, you continue to cope with it normally? There is an apartment. Repairs done. Even worries about the following: “who will nail the nail and hang the mirror?”, “Who will connect the washing machine?”, “Oh, there is no one to assemble the furniture!” it turns out to be quite successfully solved by specially trained people. And yes, now I do not know any work that cannot be done for money. Without any favors, repairs are made for money at the service station and for money they organize a technical inspection.

Tell me, what about support? We swam, we know. A weak man, psychologically not resistant - and strives to jump off. For support, women are more reliable. Visit the hospital. To lend money. Have a beer in the evening. Speak out under cards in a cafe. Heart-to-heart conversations are generally best done with women. Well, you get the idea.

Oh yes, important! Sex. The same situation as for men. No problem. And the options are from 22 years old to ... Well, this is already a matter of taste. The presence of a serious relationship seems to promise regular and high-quality, but in practice it is far from guaranteed. For men, after all, the same corrals happen as for women: “tired”, “troubles at work,” “not at all,” “nuuuu, if you stir me up” (this is generally fu-fu-fu!). The disadvantage of habitual sex is that when a man examines a woman's body, he becomes even more primitive (a man, in the sense) than he really is: he pressed this button, then stroked it. The whole prelude is five minutes, the act itself is three. So let me disagree: the newcomers are trying!

Further not so important, but interesting. I watch the series, I watch TNT, I watch the Comedy Club. And I think ... Happiness. It is fortunate that no one grabs the remote control and starts looking for news on all TV channels. I’m lucky that no one tells me that only stupid women watch TV shows. Happiness that no one pulls me at all in the evening. Happiness that I can pour myself a glass of wine. Or a glass of brandy. And no one will say with a reproach: "You are not drinking?" Happiness that I can drink coffee at 11 pm and not listen to: “Can you sleep later?”.

The happiness is that I myself can decide whether I can sleep or not. It is fortunate that I can watch 16 episodes of the series I like in one day, and no one can stand my brain about this. Happiness is that I do what I want, I work the way I want. Nobody looks over my shoulder when I write, and does not comment: "Some kind of dregs!" or "You are texting with the men again!" Nobody says about my clients: “What kind of fuckers come to you?”. And for sure, only I myself determine what kind of makeup suits me, what I wear, what color to dye my hair and, in general, how long my hair should be.

In general, I am satisfied. I am happy with what I have. I like. For this I have a little boy and a big girl. Mom, sister, my godchildren. My dear friends.

There is much more that you want. Thai boxing, Osho dynamic meditations, salsa, tango, travel, outlandish cuisines of the world, the same jewelry, films and art, sophisticated authors and new books, grooming, English and Chinese, and ... Be yourself, helping people.

Sometimes men see a woman just as an object to satisfy their needs - sexual, domestic, procreation, respect among friends and relatives, acquiring the status of a family man. In return, the man is not going to offer anything, considering that he is already giving himself and the status of a wife with a stamp in his passport.

Conditionally good men are honestly ready to give something in return besides themselves beloved, and offer the woman a deal, he gives her money, security, living space - he has sex, life, a child.

It is not surprising that when a woman “for some reason” abandons such men or exchanges them for another, she can only hear curses and accusations of a cowardly mercantile female essence.

And if a woman herself is financially independent and developed and has been married at least once, then she simply does not need a man in pants, in principle, and it is not clear to her why he is. If earlier it was simply not possible to survive without a husband in the village, or not being married meant for a woman to be a second-class man, which again comes from the dark peasant times. But now, if a man is not an oligarch, a woman will always go into the red.

Why does this happen?

Some men forget about a woman's emotional needs, but how can you seriously love someone who treats her like an object?

Of course, they are not to blame for this, almost the entire generation that grew up in the 90s turned out to be a little emotionally "flawed", the lack of parental warmth did not allow men to form a full-fledged mental and emotional apparatus, and the boys grew up cold and emotionally dull.

But is it a woman's problem to warm the "unopened flowers", if there are many normal men around, and foreign gentlemen do not suffer from the problem of emotional stupidity.

Men who give women warmth, love, care, tenderness, loyalty and devotion, no one ever leaves. Even in difficult times, if a man has a difficult financial situation, or he was fired.

If someone else is seen as a person, a person, then this causes a deep response, relations develop in a completely different scenario, and are built on completely different principles, where there is a place for trust and understanding, and there is no place for betrayal and pure consumerism.

Often men call their sexual desire for a woman and the desire to appropriate her "great love" and complain that they loved her so much, wanted her, called her, gave flowers, but she did not appreciate that. At the same time, they themselves were not emotionally involved in any way, did not give themselves, at least partially, to another person, were not interested in the inner experiences and desires of the woman herself. They did not give her any emotional warmth and tenderness. There was only their infantile "I want!"

A good relationship doesn't start with consumption or trying to satisfy your desires. Love begins with the realization that the other is a separate person, with their joys, sorrows, past traumas, merits and demerits, another unique universe different from yours.