How to live when dad died. The child's father died, what to do. Take on a new role

An old proverb says that shared joy is double joy, and shared sorrow is half sorrow. Psychologist of the Orthodox Center for Crisis Psychology at the Church of the Resurrection of Christ in the former. Semyonovskoye cemetery Svetlana Furaeva tells how to help a grieving person share his grief.

Faced with someone else's grief, many do not just want to express condolences, but do something to help the grieving person, and very often they are faced with a refusal to help. Why it happens?

The fact is that a person who wants to help does not always succeed in determining "on the fly" what exactly the grieving person needs right now. Therefore, the chosen behavioral strategies often turn out to be ineffective. Instead of realizing that I could be useful, there is an offense that "I am with all my heart ... and he (she) is ungrateful ..."

And what about this situation?

First of all, be sensitive. Help is accepted only when it matches the needs of the person in need. Therefore, it is necessary to assess the state of the grieving person, try to understand what he needs now most of all - peace, conversation, practical help with the housework, just sit next to him and be silent or help give way out to tears. For a better understanding of what happens to the grieving person, consider what the process of grieving looks like in time.

First step - shock and loss denial... Even if the deceased was ill for a long time, and the prognosis of doctors was disappointing, the message of death is unexpected for most people. In a state of shock, a person seems to be deafened by the news, acts “on the machine”, full contact with himself and with the world around him is lost. People who have experienced this state describe it as "it was as if in a dream", "it was as if not with me", "I did not feel anything", "I did not believe in what happened, this is not true." Such a reaction is caused by the deepest shock from the news, and the psyche includes a kind of inhibition mechanism, protecting a person from severe mental pain.

Second phase - anger and resentment... The grieving person "replays" the situation in his head over and over again, and the more he thinks about his misfortune, the more questions he has. The loss is accepted and realized, but the person cannot come to terms with it. A search is underway for the causes of the incident and alternative options for action. Resentment and anger can be directed at oneself, fate, God, doctors, relatives, friends. The decision "who is to blame" is not rational, but rather emotional, which can lead to mutual grievances in the family.

Next stage - feelings of guilt and intrusive thoughts... The grieving person begins to think that if he had a different attitude towards the deceased, acted, thought, spoke, then death could have been prevented. The situation is repeated several times in different versions. These are very destructive feelings that definitely need to be overcome.

Fourth stage - suffering and depression. Mental suffering accompanies all the previous stages of mourning, but at this stage it reaches its peak, overshadowing all other feelings. Grief, like waves, will rush, then recede a little. And during this period, a person experiences maximum mental pain, this is the "ninth wave" of grief. People experience this period in very different ways. Someone becomes very sensitive and cries a lot, someone, on the contrary, tries not to show emotions and withdraws into themselves. Signs of depression appear - apathy, depression, a feeling of hopelessness, a person feels helpless, the meaning of life without the deceased is lost. At this stage, chronic diseases can become aggravated, as the person stops caring about their needs. Sleep and wakefulness disorders, lack of appetite, or excessive food intake occur. At this stage, some bereaved people begin to abuse alcohol or drugs.

Fortunately, this period comes to an end, and the next one comes - adoption and reorganization... There is an emotional acceptance of the loss, a person begins to improve his life in the present. At this stage, life (already without the deceased) regains value. Plans for the future are being rebuilt, the deceased ceases to figure in them, new goals appear. This does not mean at all that the deceased is forgotten. On the contrary, the memories of him do not leave the grieving person, their emotional coloring simply changes. The deceased still takes his place in the heart, but the memories of him do not lead to suffering, but are accompanied by sadness or sadness. Often a person draws support from memories of the past.

How long do these periods last? And can the grieving person be helped to overcome them faster?

The duration of mourning is very individual. The process of mourning is not linear; a person can return to some stage and experience it again. But there is no need to rush the grieving person. After all, we do not force a newborn to walk, but a first grader to solve problems of quantum physics. In the experience of grief, it is not its duration that is more important, but the progress that occurs in the grieving person. I deliberately took the time to review the stages of grief to show that all feelings and reactions to loss experienced by the bereaved are normal... Accepting these feelings, understanding them and supporting the grieving person at every stage is the very help that will help to overcome the grief. It is very important to turn to specialists if a person is "stuck" at some stage and there is no positive dynamics.

And what should not be done so as not to run into a refusal to help?

One of the most common mistakes loved ones make is aloofness from empathy. This can manifest itself in a variety of reactions - from unwillingness to talk about the deceased to advice "to hold on and hold on." This is connected, as a rule, not with the mental callousness of loved ones, but with the manifestation of psychological defense. After all, other people's emotions are reflected in the state of a person, besides, loved ones also grieve for the deceased, they are also vulnerable at this moment.

Negatively affect the grieving phrases like “he’s better there”, “well, that’s the end of it”, if a person has been seriously ill for a long time, “now it will become easier for you, you don’t need to take care of it”.

Another common mistake is to discount the bitterness of loss by comparing it to the loss of others. “My grandmother was 80, she lived well, but my neighbor’s daughter died at 25…” and so on. Grief is individual, and there is no way to determine the value of loss by comparison.

With strong emotions, you do not need to talk to the grieving person about how others feel about this. This also applies to the individual characteristics of grief.

You shouldn't talk with the grieving about the future, because he grieves here and now. Moreover, you should not paint a bright future when a person is experiencing strong emotions. "You are still young, you will get married", "have another child, you have everything ahead of you." Such “consolations” can provoke anger and seriously ruin the relationship.

So what needs to be done to support a person in grief?

First, you need set yourself up... We talked about the need to be sensitive to the grieving person. It is very important. Help is always objective, that is, it is directed at someone. The discrepancy between the needs of the grieving person and the understanding of the helping person, what is right and what is not, usually complicates the situation. Therefore, you need to be intuitive, to feel good about what can be useful. Then there is a psychological adjustment, empathy begins. Naturally, intuitive feeling should not interfere with sobriety and logic, which are especially important in crisis situations.

Secondly, help need to offer... Perhaps the person at the moment does not want to accept help from anyone, or wants to be supported by another person. Perhaps he is simply experiencing shock and is not able to assess the situation now. That's why offer to be specific... Instead of “How can I help you?”, You should ask: “Do you need food?”, “Do you want me to sit with the children?”, “Maybe stay with you at night?”. I will also note that in Russia until the 90s, the principles of raising girls were based on the formation of a style of behavior “he will stop a galloping horse, he will enter a burning hut”. And now these women are not able to accept help, not because they do not need it, but because they simply do not understand and do not know how to do this, and the very word “help” directed at them may be a psychological taboo. If you just say “let me help”, it will cause misunderstanding. But the specific action that the helper is ready to do can bypass this stereotype of power.

Besides, the offer of help must be real... Offer what you can really do. It often happens that the grieving person refuses everything, just to “return everything back,” and this is the only thing that cannot be done. You should not follow the lead of the grieving person, turning to the occult and spiritualism. This will only bring harm, dragging the soul of a grieving person into a whirlpool, prolong the period of grieving, comforting with illusory, unrealizable hopes.

Desirable do not leave the grieving one, be with him. If this is not possible, one should try to organize a "remote presence" using modern means of communication. Better if it is a live conversation. In a conversation, you should try to avoid general questions like "how are you?", "How are you?" etc. This will help to identify the problems that the grieving person is currently facing and help to cope with them.

It is very important to force yourself listen to the grieving one... Not only what you want to hear, but everything that the grief-stricken person will say. And the grieving need to talk a lot. Speaking their thoughts and feelings, they live their grief, gradually freeing themselves from suffering. Sometimes you don't have to answer, especially if you don't know what to say. The main thing is to be sincere. Do not create taboo topics, give the opportunity to say everything that is in your heart.

Sincerity towards the grieving person helps accept him and his grief... Unconditionally, such as a person is now - weak, vulnerable, unhappy, ugly from experiences. Completely. You don't need to force him to be strong, hold back tears, try to cheer him up. A person should know and feel that he is dear to his loved ones and in such a state that it is permissible for him to grieve and be weak.

Necessary be patient... Some emotional outbursts of the grieving person can be directed at the people around him, perhaps the manifestation of anger, irritation towards the living. This behavior is a manifestation of powerlessness to change the situation. We need to be sympathetic to this. And, as we said, grief has no time NS x borders. It is impossible to "urge on" the grieving, to limit their mourning for a certain period. It is more important to understand whether there is progress or not.

It is important for those who are grieving when they memories of the deceased are maintained and encouraged... This takes time and patience, because the memories will scroll many times, and all about the same, causing new bouts of tears and grief. But memories are necessary, they help to accept the situation. Repeatedly reproduced memories become less and less painful, a person begins to draw strength from them for living today.

Necessary to help grieving adapt to the new social situation. Not to perform for him the functions that the deceased used to perform, namely, to help him learn to act independently. Otherwise, when for some reason you cannot help to do something, the grieving person will again feel unhappy, abandoned, abandoned, a new round of grief is possible.

It is advisable to try in advance prepare for milestone dates... Holidays, anniversaries - all this evokes new emotions of grief, because now they pass in a different way, already without the deceased. Perhaps, just thinking about the upcoming date will plunge the grief-stricken person into despair. It is better if these days someone will be with the grieving person.

And, of course, you need monitor your own health both physically and emotionally. After all, otherwise a person will not be able to fully help another. In illness or during periods of overwork, we become more susceptible, irritable, and can accidentally injure an already unhappy person. If there is an understanding that now there is not enough resources to support another, it is not necessary to avoid him, it is better to frankly, but delicately, explain that now there is no way to maintain a conversation or come. So that the grieving person does not feel abandoned and offended, you need to promise him a meeting or a phone call when you have strength and health. And be sure to keep that promise.

Great support for both helping and grieving is provided by articles on experiencing grief posted on our website Memoriam.Ru. Unfortunately, the emotions people experience during periods of acute grief prevent them from realizing the benefits of these materials, but those who want to help their loved ones can cope with reading. The site already has answers to all the questions that arise for those who are grieving and their loved ones. How to survive the death of a loved one? How to help a grieving person? How to help a person's soul? What to do with the feeling of guilt that has arisen? How can we help grieving children? These and many other questions are answered by priests, psychologists, psychiatrists, lawyers and people who have managed to overcome grief. It is necessary to study these materials and share them with grieving and other family members. From experience, I will say that this is a very effective tool that allows you to "move" along the path of sorrow.

A very powerful resource in overcoming grief is spiritual help loved ones. By these words, let's understand not the fulfillment of all of the above, but care for the souls of the deceased and those who remain. If there is a believer in the family, he can explain that the observance of confessional rituals is not just a tribute to traditions, but concrete concern for the deceased.

Faith is a great power to overcome sorrow. A believer can more easily overcome grief, since his "worldview" does not end with death. In all religions, prayers for the dead and works of mercy are considered blessings both for the one who left and for the one who does it here. If the family is not religious, you need to contact the ministers of the religious denomination that is traditional for the given nationality. He needs to ask all the questions that the grieving ones have accumulated, and also find out what can help the soul of the departed person. Starting with the performance of the rituals, the grieving person can gradually come to an understanding of the sacraments of life and death, and this, from experience, helps to cope with the crisis of grief. Such concern for the departed, moreover, if it is supplemented by help to those who are now weaker (even if it is just alms to a beggar), strengthens the grieving person, gives him the strength to live on, changes the quality of his life.

And in parting I want to say the following. You can endlessly give advice on what is right and what is wrong. But the only correct line of behavior with the grieving person will only be prompted by an open heart and a sincere desire to be useful. I wish everyone who is now trying to help their loved ones strength and patience. You will need a lot of them, but the result is worth the effort.

This is one of the saddest events in the life of every person. Sometimes it is impossible to give any recommendations, because the question is quite personal. Some people do not need anyone at all, they try to retire and disconnect from the whole world. Someone wants to get support and find support in close people.

Sorry to find solutions Problems not so simple, but you can think of something to distract yourself a little. It is still better to share such a misfortune with someone, because in this way you will spend at least a little of your energy and share your experiences, and this is very important for the psyche.

How to survive the death of your father?

1. Don't rush yourself... Many begin to look for a problem in their personality, do not allow themselves to show emotions, limit themselves. In fact, psychologists argue that grieving and crying is beneficial because it relieves stress. If you keep telling yourself that you shouldn't be sad, then this will create additional problems, you may feel guilty if you suddenly do not keep your promise.

Once upon a time, in the Victorian era, there was even a time frame for longing for a father - from two to four years. Some come to their senses much earlier, while others need much more years. It all depends on the person, as well as on the circumstances, because death from old age is inevitable, albeit a little, but we all understand this. It is much more difficult if it is a sudden death, it is much more difficult to survive. In any case, do not set a framework for yourself, recover from a disaster exactly as much as you need.

2. Do not forget that your father wished you well.... This means that no thoughts of suicide should ever come to you. Imagine how your father would react if he suddenly found out that you decided to die? He loved you, so he always wanted only the best, it is important to learn how to live so that he could be proud of you.

Think about the types of activities that bring you pleasure, try to start doing it again in order to imagine how your father would smile when he sees you happy. This, of course, is not easy, because not everyone can start playing active sports games when their soul is melancholy, but always imagine in your head your beloved dad who would be glad to see you in the rays of happiness and joy.

Try not to disappoint him in all walks of life... This is the most important thing you can do for your father right now.

3. Keep your father in mind... The most valuable thing that you can do for him, because he is no longer with you physically, but he will always be in your head. Remember that this way you can perpetuate it in your thoughts, remember it as it was. Be sure to start a diary in which you write the pleasant moments that you lived together, be sure to describe your state of health at the moment, so you can always return to your memories and you will know that you have not forgotten anything. Talk to people who knew him. These can be his friends, colleagues, acquaintances.

4. Don't forget about yourself... First of all, people who lose loved ones and relatives do not sleep well. This is due to the fact that they are constantly under stress, and this negatively affects their nervous system. Make sure that your sleep lasts at least 7-8 hours, otherwise your body will not have time to recover. In no case do not refuse food, because this is a physiological need.

You can refuse from delicious food if you blame yourself for the pleasure, but leave the basic products. Remember that your lungs need to breathe, your heart needs to beat, and your cells need to renew, and for that they need calories. You should have at least 3 meals a day, and ensure yourself minimal physical activity. This will give you a little emotional relief and will also help you feel better physically. Of course, we all understand that healthy sleep and tasty healthy food will not help you cope with this problem, but this way you will be able to function normally and perform your usual duties.

5. Analyze what makes you feel bored... Sometimes it helps to smooth out the pain a little and get out of the state of depression. It is important to understand exactly when you feel an urgent need for help and support. Remember that you can always ask your family and friends about it. Try to remember what you enjoyed doing with your father? What exactly are you missing right now? For example, you played board games together, watched a comedy show in the evenings, or visited certain places. Just ask someone closest to keep you company.

So you will feel closer to father, you can enjoy warm memories and have a great time with your dear person. Take a day planner and write down your entire day from start to finish. You should have a lot of things to do and only meal breaks. This way you will not feel lonely and will get rid of the feeling of loneliness.

6. Don't make spontaneous decisions... Often the death of a parent makes you think that everything in your life has no meaning. Many begin to ruin their families, careers and radically change their lives. In fact, this will not lead you to anything good, but you will make a lot of mistakes, over which you will then need to work long and hard. Remember that besides your father, there are other people in your life who need your attention and love. Do not forget that you will need a good job at least in order to feed yourself.

Someone has such moments there is a desire to move to another city, to divorce the other half, but now such thoughts come to you because of depression.

All the grief of daddy's death in one clip

Dad is dead

Maxim, 27 years old, writes:

I read your article about. I wanted to ask: what if your father had already died and only after his death did you realize that you were unfair to him, that in many ways you were wrong in relation to him, that you did not love or respect him. But I realized this too late and you will no longer be reconciled with him. What to do next? You can't talk to him anymore.

What to do if the father is dead:

1. Understand your father

If in childhood your father offended you with something, or hurt you, you need to understand why he did this? What was his intention? But to understand this, one must look at the situation through his eyes. If he was alive, then it would be necessary to talk to him directly. If he is no longer there, then you can try to do it yourself, or by asking for an explanation from relatives who knew him well.

The truth is that fathers are sometimes tough and communicate with their sons as if on equal terms, as if with an adult. But children cannot always adequately perceive what the father teaches. Therefore, resentment arises. For example, as in this fragment from the movie "Thief", when the boy described himself out of fear:

2. Go to your father's grave

• Tell him what you regret... About what you lacked him all your life. About your happiness and unhappiness. Speak out to him in a way you never spoke to anyone.
• Rate him like your father: was he good for you? What did he teach you during your lifetime? What are his qualities that continue their life in you?
• Leave a small souvenir on the grave, present. Perhaps he taught you how to play football - leave a tiny ball. Think, what could it be for the symbol that connected you? Leave it to him.
• And ask for forgiveness for forgetting him. For not living the way you should. For the fact that he did not show respect for him, did not show love. Then close your eyes there and ask him for advice on the situation in your life that is causing the problem.

3. Light a candle in the church, remove the photographs of the dead

Church... It doesn't matter if you are a believer or not. For example, I have nothing to do with faith, but sometimes I go to church, stand there for 5 minutes, listen to myself, remember my relatives. Then I buy candles and put them on to those who have already died. And for the health of those who are alive. I just use the church as a place where I can perform a ritual of honoring the memory of my relatives. Our relatives are alive exactly as long as we remember about them. This ritual in the church is worth remembering loved ones every six months. When the candle burns, I look at the light and just remember. For example, my grandmother, and how we ate dry potatoes for several months in a row, because the family had no money at all. I remember how she made me a basketball hoop in the courtyard of her house where we lived. Sometimes I remember how I hurt her, shouted or called her names. At this moment, mentally I apologize to her. And after such moments, my soul becomes easier. Do it, Maxim, even if you are an atheist.

Photo... Some people, after the death of relatives, make a museum out of their apartment, placing photographs of the dead on the shelves. Don't do that. These people live hard if the departed "look" at them. They are rarely in a good mood, because the dead are constantly reminded of the loss, and sometimes the feeling of guilt. Therefore, the photographs must be neatly folded in a decent place. Somewhere in the locker. But not in the closet, not on the balcony.

Photos of living, loved ones should be hanging in the house! Those you can hug and talk to. Then people do not feel lonely if the living "look" at them.

The son is an extension of his father

P.S... You are exactly half of your father. His blood flows in you. And despite the fact that he is no longer physically, he is still present in you. You continue your kind. Therefore, do what I wrote to you and remember that you can still show your respect and love for your father by creating your own family and raising your children with dignity. By becoming a good father, you show the highest respect for your own father. If you really want it.

As far back as I can remember, my father has always been an example for me. Even on those who grow up without a father, his influence is great - in the sense that it is easy to notice when a man was raised by his mother alone. Therefore, the death of a father is a great grief and great pain for any man. This is a great sorrow. For many, this is a loss of loss. This grief is different from any other, and only a man who has lost his father can understand it. It is difficult to recover from this event. It contains several difficult aspects at once.

Vulnerability

When a father dies, we often lose even more than a loved one. We sincerely cannot understand why the world did not stop after this tragic event. Sons take the death of their father very hard, and when the world does not share this grief, it makes them feel lonely, cut off from a world that does not understand them. Many men feel like an orphan, even though their mother is alive, because they feel universal loneliness. This feeling of vulnerability stems from the fact that for many of us, the father is a symbol of stability and order in the world. We always know that we can count on our father in any situation: he will help, he will give advice, even when the whole world turns away from us. When the father is no more, the son does not know who to turn to for help; he feels scared and vulnerable. This is true even for men who have had a bad relationship with their father. Yes, father might not have been a protector and breadwinner, but we still feel lonely: somewhere in the subconscious we believed that father could still fix the matter.

Awareness of mortality

Our culture prefers to ignore the fact of human mortality, to avoid this topic in every possible way. However, when a man loses his father, he can no longer ignore the fact that human life is finite; he clearly understands that we will all die one day. This awareness can touch us at any moment when we face death, and it manifests itself especially powerfully with the death of our father. This is because many men see their father as part of themselves; some of them themselves die with their father. The son knows that he will never (at least during his lifetime, for sure) see his father, and when he himself dies, it will simply be the end. Many may argue, they say, death is an objective fact, why does the loss of a particular person make him so frightening? The problem is the illusion of control. We men are used to thinking that we are in control of our own destiny, that we are in charge here. In many cases, it is, but death is a very special matter: here we really have no power to dispose of. We lose this illusion of control, there is simply no place for it in our lives: no matter how well we know how to control ourselves and solve problems, we cannot raise our father from the dead. Therefore, the son grieves not only for his father, but also for the understanding of his own powerlessness, which he acquired.

There is no one else to listen to us

We are used to the fact that our father was always there. He saw all our achievements, he helped, he encouraged, he gave advice. The son does a lot for the sake of fatherly approval, and the father is one of the few people for whose approval it is worth working hard. We can proudly bring home excellent grades and show the diary to our father, this dynamic can be traced in adulthood: we boast of our achievements at the university, at work, in the family. When a father dies, there is no one else to tell about it. There is no one to listen to us. For sons who are already parents themselves, it is also sad because they cannot tell their proud grandfather about the success of their children, they cannot ask advice about raising children. We miss a father whenever we need advice or human input. For a man who had never been particularly close to his father, this loss was felt much earlier, long before his father's death: he tried in vain to earn his approval. And now, with his death, this loss has doubled: the son realizes that he can never show his father what he is capable of.

Take on a new role

For many men, inheritance means, first of all, not property, but responsibility. Regardless of age, after the death of their father, men feel that they have suddenly and strongly matured. The death of the father leaves a vacuum in the family, and the sons feel that now they need to fulfill their fatherly role, to replace him. This is especially true if the father was the head and protector of the family. Sons feel pressure on themselves, they are afraid not to cope with this task. If the mom is still alive, the son will focus on caring for her. And thanks to this, he will grow, and the family will unite, relatives will become closer to each other in order to somehow establish life in new conditions. However, this is not always the case. The opposite may also happen: other family members will resist the son's desire to take on the role of head of the family; siblings may even fight for this role. In the worst case, the death of the father can lead to the complete disintegration of the family: he kept them together, and now there is no one else to do it. For men whose father has not played an important role in their lives, the mere thought of taking his place seems daunting. They do not want to fulfill his duties; on the contrary: they want to change the order of things, so as not to be like a father in the future.

Long shadow

As a boy grows up, he learns different skills and life lessons from his father. He quickly realizes that it is better to do everything like a father, because he knows more, he has more experience, and disobedience, as a rule, turns out worse for you. Sons crave the approval of their fathers and live for praise. This desire for paternal approval and the suffering of disapproval spills over into adulthood and continues even after the paternal death. Sons often feel the presence of their father when they do what their father taught them; visit places that they used to visit with their father; use their things. For many men, such memories mean a bond with their father even after his death. However, sons may find it difficult to do something differently than their father, as if they feel his disapproval. They often ask themselves the question: "Would my father be proud of me?" The long shadow of the father affects our lives even after his death.

Paternal legacy

When a man grieves for his father, he certainly goes through a phase of accepting his father's inheritance. We often look at the lives of our fathers and grandfathers to assess how their views and values ​​affected us. Some sons look back on their father's character and values ​​with admiration and a desire to follow them in their own lives. Others look around and see guilt, mistakes, failures - everything that they themselves would like to avoid. As a rule, we are looking for some good qualities that we could embody in our own lives. For a son who has already become a father himself, the analysis of his father's legacy is especially important: he feels himself to be the middle link through which the past is held together with the future - one day he will pass on this legacy to his own children. For many men, the death of a father serves as an impetus to strengthen relationships with their own children, and a desire to be the pride of their children is strengthened in them.

This is not really a practical guide to how to behave in the event of a father's death. There are no instructions here. This post aims to show all aspects and stages of accepting this grief; show how difficult it is to deal with it. Only time can heal wounds. One thing is clear: after the death of your father comes the desire to live life so that people can call you a worthy son of your father; so that you yourself can proudly declare it. Two things are important in accepting this grief. First, you have to fight. It may seem strange, but grief can only be overcome by fighting it. It will strengthen you. Secondly, you need to talk about it. In grief, support is needed. Be strong and be strong, bro.

Dad died. For many who have lost their father, this phrase sounds heartbreaking. And my heart aches in my chest, beating at the same time in a frantic rhythm. When the father dies, i.e. when the father died, then everything inside seems to be cut off, as if the world had collapsed. And in such moments close friends could help, but not for everyone and not always. It so happens that words of support do not really help, but even annoy, enrage, well, how long can you repeat the same thing. Take it easy! How can you calm down? Or pull yourself together! How? How can you be calm when a person with whom you grew up, played, was brought up, sometimes shared secrets, asked for advice, suddenly dies, leaves you, somewhere out there, to heaven, to heaven, to the universe ... it will always be so that he will always live, you can always call him, talk to him, ask him how he is, how are you, what you were doing ... But alas, this is how we all lose our fathers at an unexpected or expected moment. And no matter how hard it was for us, we need to live on, to live, because he gave us life, because he wanted it so, because it should be so that fathers leave before their children. Yes, it is hard, but it is impossible to accept this thought: "Dad is dead." And as much as you would like to return him - this, alas, is impossible, therefore you need to reconcile and accept the fact that dad is dead, that now he will not be around, that you need to live without this person.

Of course, you can resist this thought, but this will not help reality. In reality, it will only get worse from the fact that it does not correspond to the desired that the dad was alive, with the reality that the dad is no longer there. And no matter how much a person suffers, reality will remain, but the desired will not be fulfilled. It is difficult to understand, and even more so to accept, and even after many years, remembering the Pope, the heart will ache, there will be tears, there will be bitterness, and life will no longer be what it was before.

But if you cannot return your father, then you can return your emotional state to normal. And you can start smiling again, live on, without sadness. It would seem that this is impossible, because dad is dead. But I'll tell you that it is possible and I see this every day with different people who have lost their father. There are intensive methods and techniques to quickly recover from the loss of a dad. Relieving you from feelings of grief and loss, from suffering and longing. Leaving only a little sadness and a bright, warm memory of him, of your father. Therefore, do not wait for it to calm down. Click on the link (>>) and follow the further instructions. And you can get rid of grief and live as before, but without it.
Everything is much simpler than it seems now.
I will not persuade you, you will see for yourself in an hour.