Rzhevsky, be silent! Vulgarity, beautiful in every way. SMS vulgar jokes. The eyes will tell everything

The most charming vulgarity of all time is Lieutenant Rzhevsky. I don't know, maybe it's folk art It made him like this, and in life he was a bore, the likes of which the world has never seen, but in jokes he appears to be a very charming person.

In general, from childhood I was taught that vulgarity is disgusting. And of all vulgarities, the most disgusting is male vulgarity. Moreover, this word, as a rule, meant exclusively greasy jokes and anecdotes. Then I learned that vulgar things do not necessarily have sexual overtones. Over time, my opinion has changed: jokes below the belt can cast their author in a very favorable light.

For some reason, men succeeded in this. I love it when they come up with a theme out of thin air. Someone said something, and the man saw the subtext in it - and please, the vulgarity is ready. This is, in my opinion, very sexy. Especially if it’s a subtle joke, a half-hint, and not a greasy one spoken in plain text.

For example, one of my friends believes that such half-hints with elements of flirting are simply necessary in a team, because they defuse the atmosphere and allow you to build informal relationships. Although, in his opinion, in men's companies such statements are more vigorous. Due to the lack of delicate female ears, which are not created for such things.

But another friend of mine (let's call him Vlad) - an exemplary family man- believes that greasy things are always negative, and are born only in those companies where there are representatives of both sexes.

“Vulgar jokes are told in order to tease a person of the opposite sex,” explains Vlad. – The interlocutor seeks to confuse the opponent, make him blush, and feel uncomfortable. To do this with vulgar barbs is low, this is not the right method. Although an appropriately and tastefully delivered vulgar joke can look very successful.”

“I am openly against vulgarity,” adds his colleague Sergei. – Vulgarities should be said as a joke, they should be funny, funny, they should lift the mood. And, naturally, like any other joke, it should be pronounced appropriately.”

But men, who have different views on greasiness, are united in one thing: if a person is vulgar, this does not mean that he has any problems sexually. Which, as you understand, the girls do not agree with.

“Obscene language spoken in a playful tone is only appropriate in private, because it helps create a special atmosphere between loving people“, strengthening family ties, if you like,” Lena, who got married two years ago, shares her experience. “If a person does it in a company or, even worse, at work, it means he is fixated on this topic, he definitely has some problems with sex.”

Her friend Yulia associates vulgarity with sexual humiliation. In her opinion, many people simply do not know how to separate vulgar and frank jokes. Eat explicit topics, which can be discussed in company and which can be joked about. But there are topics that are unethical to speak about in society, and therefore all statements sound vulgar.

It's no secret that the same vulgarity will sound differently in different companies. If there are only women or only men in the team, then the jokes there, as a rule, are ruder. Because it is not achieved the main objective statements - hint, flirting, attracting attention. In same-sex groups, jokes are derogatory, while in opposite-sex groups, jokes are playful. Because greasiness is a successful (or not so successful, depending on the education and skill of the speaker) veiled allusion to special treatment. This is a type of flirting in which compliments are said in a more frank form, but are presented in a in a humorous manner. It seemed like he was joking, but he also seemed to be giving a compliment - take it as you please.

For example, a man tells me: “You have new hairstyle? It suits you very well” or “Wow! Judging by your hair, you had a stormy night...” Do you feel the difference? In the first clean water compliment. It’s nice, I don’t argue, but the second one is more informative, because it already contains a hint, a hidden desire to spend this very night together, to be the reason for such a hairstyle. And this, you see, is much more pleasant. Especially if you like the man too.

In general, the conclusion is again banal: skill and good taste even vulgarity is turned into art. And if there is such a person nearby, a kind of modern Rzhevsky, then, dear women, we were lucky. And again the palm is in the lead for men... We'll have to work on ourselves.

The ability to communicate with girls is not given to every guy. Men hide their insecurities under silence, embarrassment, and some let them go stupid jokes addressed to beautiful representatives of the opposite sex, thereby expressing sympathy.

If there is a person in your circle whose words make you blush with embarrassment or rage, you need to know how to respond to a vulgar proposal.

Use a sense of humor

Perhaps humor is a universal weapon that can lift a person to heaven or lower him lower Mariana Trench. If you're good with resourcefulness, don't be afraid to insert a sharp word when a guy tries to be vulgar. For example, he often makes a joke in your direction: “When we finally get down to it,” tell him to stand in line, because such smart people are already a dime a dozen. There is no need to stand on ceremony with such guys.

Don't answer anything

There are people who deliberately provoke others to see how they lose their temper. If you understand perfectly well that the guy is pursuing exactly this goal, simply do not react to his words. But if the jokes already go beyond hints and openly concern your honor, look at him with pity in your eyes and say something like: “I feel so sorry for you, did you have a difficult childhood?” or “You talk about this so much, you have big problems. I can tell you the number of a good psychotherapist; he once helped a guy like you a lot. True, he was treated for a long time.”

Usually, after this, the man prefers not to get involved with the one who turned out to be smarter than him, or switches to human language without vulgarities. After all, a girl who is not taken aback by open rudeness deserves respect.

Set conditions

It happens that even close friends who simply do not know how to speak differently say vulgarities.– the vocabulary of each of us is formed under the influence of the environment in which we find ourselves. Sometimes you just have to come to terms with the fact that there will always be hints of eroticism in your communication. If your beloved friend values ​​\u200b\u200bthe relationship, you may well set a condition not to send in your presence. But don’t give too much credit yourself of great importance vulgarity.

It also happens that in this way ex-boyfriend The person you abandoned is trying to humiliate you in this way in order to avenge your wounded heart. Talk to him first in a good way. If he doesn’t understand, ask for your new one young man defend your honor. By talking like men, they can come to a consensus. If this doesn’t help, try not to cross paths at all.

An erotic letter to a man should contain a declaration of love, compliments about his virtues, fantasies of a sexual nature with his participation. Guys don't like to be overwhelmed big amount vulgar SMS messages, so you need to first intrigue him by writing, for example, one of these phrases: “If you are thinking about me now, then come and make all your desires come true.” You can write: “Darling, would you like to warm up dinner or our bed today? Or combine business with pleasure?”

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What should you write to a man and what should you not write?

A man, regardless of character and age, loves when a girl appears before him in different guises: from a shy virgin and touchy-feely girl to a cheeky bitch and a heartbreaker. Therefore, you need to change your writing styles: from ambiguous phrases with a slight hint of sex to outright vulgarity and descriptions of your sexual desires and fantasies.

To excite a young man by correspondence, you should tell him compliments, declarations of love and admire your lover’s body, ask about his desires and feelings. If a young man is crazy about high-heeled shoes and stockings with garters, then he will definitely be turned on by the photo female legs in shoes and the phrase “They are looking forward to you and are ready to open the gates of heaven for you.”

If a woman wants to write an erotic letter to her husband, who has gone on a business trip, then she should not write something that she is not ready to do in real life, since deception will negatively affect the relationship of the young couple, and the husband will begin to look for another who can satisfy his needs and desires. Erotic messages in prose, written in your own words, are better than beautiful love poems written by another author.

No need to write to your lover obscene expressions and compare him with other men, trying to humiliate his manhood.

If a representative of the opposite sex does not respond to passionate SMS message, then you should not send him 10 more messages with similar content in the hope of arousing him - perhaps he is not in the mood or he is busy right now, and such persistence will only push him away.

Examples of exciting phrases and erotic letters for a man

Phrases that excite men:

• You are so strong and at the same time gentle hands! No one hugged me as passionately and tightly as you do!
• My thoughts are only about yours sexy body. I dream that you would now press me to your strong torso, and I would dissolve in your kisses and hugs, forgetting about everything in the world.
• You are my air and my life, every moment without your touch is unbearable torment for me, I want to drown in the ocean of bottomless eyes and expose my body and feelings to you.
• I was captivated by your arms, shoulders, smell, lips, hugs, hair, skin, pumped up abs and what is located below the belly... Oh, you turn me on half a turn, I want to come to you, I want you inside me. ..
• I’m now putting on your favorite fishnet stockings and lace black panties and... going to bed, since the distance between us is hundreds of thousands of kilometers.

In representatives of the opposite sex different temperaments, so not every guy will agree to have sex on the phone, but beautiful and sweet words He will be pleased to hear from his beloved, and he will want to meet the woman to spend an unforgettable and hot night in each other’s arms.

Examples of erotic messages in prose to a husband when he is away or at work:

Conducting correspondence of an intimate nature with your lover or husband over the Internet, you can reinforce love messages candid photographs that will help you quickly turn on and seduce a young man.

What should it be perfect lover? Sometimes - naive and meek, sometimes - vulgar and daring. Experienced, sexy, temperamental, gentle woman always knows by SMS? One of the rather spicy options!

A real “tiger” knows how to turn on a loved one literally right away, how to bring him to the point of “losing his pulse.” Unpredictable, spontaneous, impulsive, wise, attentive and thin woman never really even thinks about how to excite a man via SMS. The main thing is not to be shy about your desires.

How to excite a man via SMS: be creative

So, more details. Knowing this via SMS, you can have no doubt: he will always dream of intimacy with you. All you need is your imagination and think about what excites your man the most. You can even play groovy word game. Express yourself to the fullest, he will definitely like it.

By the way, SMS messages can also help you if you are a little shy about direct contact. Or if you managed to try the most various ways seduction and crave variety.

A mobile phone is an extremely useful thing

How to excite a man via SMS? Everything depends on you. The main thing is to have a mobile phone. After all, it is not intended only for calls. With the help of messages, you can excite your man so much that he will rush to you in a matter of minutes, demanding more.

Uniqueness this method is that you can tell your partner about your intentions or desires at any time, wherever you are. Imagine, for example, that love correspondence happens right in business negotiations...

Spicy negotiations

Erotic SMS in correspondence is, of course, just something! If this actually happens in negotiations, believe me, they will be very spicy. The need to hide secret information and the business environment will only fuel your partner’s interest.

Well, you shouldn't be shy. Just write what you want. Don't worry about appearing too much depraved woman. Believe me, in this case your man will not think badly of you. Try to describe to him a picture of what awaits him after work, how he will be rewarded, etc.

Voice mail

By the way, erotic SMS may not be just text. Messages will not be able to excite your man even more. Your flirting voice will drive him crazy. Many girls use this method, but all men, without exception, are satisfied.

You can also add a photo to the voice message. Give your partner a hint about what you are waiting for. Let this surprise It will be small, but it will excite your loved one, remind him that you think about him even when he is not around.

By the way, this psychological moment. Your man will feel for his person from your side. This will create more trust and intimacy in your relationship.

Start with words

Before looking at some examples of exciting SMS messages for a man, it’s worth thinking about the phrases that you will be ready to write to him. Believe me, well-constructed correspondence will drive your other half crazy. Be a little Cleopatra, who knows how to conquer the stronger sex, and maybe a little girl from the Phone Sex agency. Basically, try your best.

How to apply

The best thing, of course, is an exciting SMS to a man. Tell us in your own words what you want. Add as much sexuality as possible to your sentences. No need for sharpness. Just some intimacy in the right place.

Very important element Your SMS message will contain a request. Write to him “my best”, “dear”, “beloved”. The sound of a man's own name is always pleasant. However, in addition to it and its derivatives of caresses, there are many other options. You can also address your loved one, for example, like this: “my hero”, “my happiness”, “desired”, “kitten”, etc. And then - the message itself. What can you write? Try these options:

When you've got it going enough...

And on social networks

Of course, today only mobile phones no one is limited. Social media also allows you to connect with your loved ones erotically. SMS that excite men will be stored in the message history for a long time, again and again warming up the interest of partners, reminding them of a spicy conversation and their feelings.

A good and passionate lover can hone the art of a seductress for months and years. The main thing is to be able to win over your loved one from a distance. Just don't forget about literacy. If a man is better at spelling than you, and you send him an SMS with gross mistakes, you will not excite him, but rather make him laugh.

Well, you just have to decide what messages these will be. SMS or MMS... Poetry or prose... Use your imagination. Search the right approach. And if you can find it, everything will be great.

It all depends on the stage of the relationship

It's no secret that men are turned on by vulgar SMS. But don’t forget that you need to control yourself and not cross the line. The content of the text is very important for a man.

If your relationship is on initial stage, try not to surprise him too much with your impulses, your frankness. For example, write something like:

• “I wanted to write you a message at this very moment. I can't get enough of your photo. I want to see not only the photo, but also you. If you kiss the picture, you won’t get an answer... Let’s see each other?”
• “Today I had a wonderful dream. You were in leading role. Call me, I’ll tell you what we did.”

Well, if you already had sexual relations, you can even play. For example:

First - more information

One more thing. It is important not only to know what words excite men. An SMS will have a much greater impact if you subtly hint in it at a certain quality of your man, at some feature or character trait that is unique to him. That is, before sending such letters, you need to know as much as possible about him... If you have known each other for a long time, this will not be a problem. If your relationship is just starting (or you are just planning to meet), carefully monitor his profile on in social networks. As a rule, users describe their preferences and habits here and post a variety of photographs. If you know your chosen one well, it will be much easier for you to find the right words to excite him. After looking at the information he posts on social media, try to use For example, look at his photos carefully. He's probably proud of them. Hint in your messages that you are incredibly excited by his abs (biceps, shoulders, etc.).

By the way, men talk about themselves in different ways. Some people spend almost their entire lives online. It’s like, “I’m like this, I live like this, I think like this, I do this or that.” Others are limited only by date of birth (city, specialty, place of work). The first ones, as a rule, are selfish. With the latter, you can start an erotic correspondence with the following message: “Hello, stranger. You are so mysterious...” Intrigue a man, maintain mystery and spontaneity, don’t ask unnecessary questions, play with him. In this case, you won’t be able to get bored of him and won’t move to the standard category. When you meet, your chosen one will definitely please you and will not disappoint you.

By the way, don’t forget to pay attention to the number of women in his contacts. If there are too many of them, he definitely wants to be liked opposite sex and enjoys success with him. Tease him. For example: “Shall we play?” Then let your imagination run wild...

Brief but tempting

Exciting SMS messages to your beloved man in prose or poetry should not be too long. Messages like this don't get you started. They are tiring. Especially if they arrive to your chosen one in parts. In this case, it will be quite difficult to grasp the meaning. Brief message will make a man turn on his imagination and think about you even more. Send SMS that would encourage him to respond. Fill them with a lot of feelings and emotions. It will be simply impossible not to respond to such messages. Start with an innocent one: “What do you think about the one who thinks about you all day?” Don't forget to use punctuation marks. This technique will also stimulate your man's curiosity. Big role In such messages, the ellipsis can play a role. For example, write to him: “I think...” And pause. As a rule, when we receive an SMS from a person we are interested in, we want to respond to him immediately. Please wait for this response. And do not continue correspondence immediately after receiving it. Otherwise, you will create the impression that you simply play this way in the first phases of erotic correspondence. Your chosen one will begin to worry when you are delayed in answering.

And finally. Of course, you shouldn’t forget that you shouldn’t write too long messages. But even if you write briefly... Write only to good mood. Even your carefully hidden negativity can completely ruin everything. Never talk about (neither directly nor in a veiled way) whether you liked the evening or not. Try to do everything so that the man does not feel under pressure. Just play with words. And be patient. Sometimes SMS messages do not require a response. Don’t think that if a man doesn’t answer you right away, he doesn’t care about you. Perhaps he is just trying to find the right words to express his interest, his attitude, his feelings for a woman. Men, they are like that... They need to digest information... Especially with such unambiguous content...

This means that the appropriate energy comes from you, even if you cut holes in a bag and put it on, men will still pay attention and offer themselves at your service. Every person has a libido-specific psychic energy-energy sexual desire, which has primarily an unconscious form. The choice of the object of libido in this way occurs at an unconscious level, as well as the methods of satisfying it. This is where the male libido turns on in your presence. How to approach this is up to you. I would prefer life principle cartoon Carlson - “calm and only calm.” Use it in your communication. You must realize that you are a self-sufficient person, worthy of respect, understanding, have rights, and not just responsibilities, for example, you can say “no” if you don’t want to be disturbed or don’t like something. You have every right not to be interested in someone or something, and you are not obliged to, the right to have your own opinion and change it according to the situation, make mistakes, not be imbued with the problems of other people and not want to solve them. You can politely and correctly state your desire/not desire to answer a personal question, communicate with someone, explain your actions. So demonstrate all this to people if necessary. You can start doing this today. Speak calmly, confidently, respectfully. Please note that with body position, posture, facial expressions and gestures we give no less important information interlocutor than words: calm look, confident voice, straight and slightly relaxed posture, no unnecessary and especially sudden movements. Respond to words politely, kindly, but persistently, defending your rights without aggression, adhering to your opinion and your line of behavior, demonstrate self-respect and respect for others. Since men cannot hide their instincts when they see you, then you can clearly be restrained, self-confident, calm and demonstrate this with all your appearance. I advise you not to isolate yourself, not to blame yourself for anything and not to look for reasons to justify yourself - you are not to blame for anything, and if you make excuses, the person will act as if he was truly guilty and feels it. Accept yourself as you are. learn to love, appreciate, respect, hear your desires. You are lucky, many smart and beautiful women would be happy to change places with you, at least for a short time, in order to feel welcome, to see eyes, men, burning when they approach. But this is not given to them, but to you it is more than possible. So be proud of it, use it in moderation, don’t overplay it, sometimes you need to be careful. men can be aggressive and unpredictable, in their excitement they do not hear or understand the word “no”, and sometimes it is like a “face” signal for them. To your beauty and stunning sexual energy, add intelligence. Together, these three tools can make you the most happy woman, if skillfully applied in the right circumstances. Constantly improve personally and professionally, develop (never forget about supporting your beauty and figure). Add a sense of humor to your communication with people - it can right moment to defuse the situation, it makes it easier to establish contact with people, laughter makes us happier, helps us cope with troubles more easily. A good joke can have a much more effective impact on a man than a simple refusal or remark. You are very lucky, don't even doubt it. You really don’t want to give up this feature of yours forever? Yes, and you won’t be able to - because the energy is already inside you. Remember this expression - whether a person is happy or not depends on what he himself thinks about it? Think about it too. After all, a person himself can influence how he will live. You just need to choose the right life guidelines. Live according to your ideas about happiness. Think first about what you want most now, what you lack - in interpersonal relationships, in terms of work, career, material wealth, recreation? What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “I want?” This is what you need to change. There is always something most important. In general, whatever you want in life, hence the goals, and the means, and the people who appear at the right time, who help, and the paths that open up. Live, communicate and work with pleasure. All the best to you. Contact us via chat for detailed advice - I’ll help. Don't forget to rate the answers.

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