Divorce concerns not only the relationship between a man and a woman, but also the condition of their children. Often, for some of them, divorce turns into psychological trauma, which cannot always be cured. The child is especially threatened by such an outcome when the parents cannot solve the conflict peacefully, they swear all the time, sort things out and argue.

In the process of divorce, two main questions arise: how to divide the property and with whom will the children live? Moreover, the solution of the first problem is not paramount; in this regard, the law clearly regulates the distribution of property acquired in marriage, moreover, it allows for a special agreement. Much more serious difficulties arise when solving the issue of raising children.

The whole seriousness of the problem lies in the fact that the incorrect distribution of roles in raising a child, that is, leaving him under the care of the wrong parent, can lead to an almost broken life of an unformed personality.

That is why the decision concerning children is of paramount importance in comparison with the division of property, and is obligatory for adoption in the judicial process.

To divide children, in the literal sense, means to distribute them among the parents. A similar procedure applies when there is more than one child in the family. Moreover, this process is clearly regulated by Russian law.

The resolution of the question of who the children will live with is based on several main principles:

• In the case when the family has two children, then usually each of the parents gets the right to live together with one of them. That is, the children stay with both the mother and the father;
• In the case when the child is already ten years old, he has the right to decide for himself with whom to live;
• In the case when there are several children in the family and they are of different sexes, the boys are usually left with the father, and the girls with the mother.

Often, spouses feel that having several children will make it much easier to separate them. However, it is not. The court always considers the fate of each of the children in a separate order.

In this case, the following circumstances will be taken into account:

• The opinion of both children and parents, but in the case of a child, his desire will be of interest to the court only when he turns ten;
• The financial situation of both mother and father;
• The presence of a criminal record, mental illness and other similar deviations.

When deciding the issue of a child's residence, a judge always takes into account each of the circumstances in aggregate and determines the most convenient option for him. Among other things, it may happen that children are divided between parents. This also happens taking into account the most favorable environment for them.

Can children be divided in case of divorce?

It is not uncommon for a family to have several children. There is a misconception that in such a situation the court acts on the principle of "equal shares", that is, proportionally distributes children between parents. It’s not like that. This would indicate that the court does not consider living conditions and other circumstances, but simply blindly divides the children, which is unacceptable.

Regardless of how many children there are in the family, each parent has the same rights and the court will individually consider the options for the child's further residence with one of the parents.

That is, the division of children always relies on objective circumstances, which include the following:

• The interests of the child, which primarily relate to how much time each parent can spend with him, how much attention he will be provided;
• The standard of living of each of the parents, as well as their ability to maintain existing positions, including material ones;
• The father's desire, which should be clearly expressed, for example, he takes the initiative in paying alimony or participates in raising a child.

A striking example from practice is the situation when the court left an eleven-year-old boy with his father, since he was strongly attached to him, and a seven-year-old girl with her mother, since due to her age the participation of a woman in upbringing was necessary.

Plus, psychological examinations are often carried out, which with some degree of probability can show the child's attachment to one of the parents. Also, there are often cases when both children, if there are two or even more, are left to one parent.

This is due to the fact that the separation of children can have a bad effect on their development, upbringing, learning process and other similar moments.

How to separate children when parents divorce?

Legislatively, there are only two methods of resolving the issue of how children can be divided between spouses. Initially, they should turn to the magistrate, who deals with the divorce.

And he, in turn, can offer two solutions to the problem:

• An amicable agreement, which is proposed for the conclusion of the spouses, including if a dispute arises over the residence of joint children;
• Appeal to the district court. Only this instance will be able to judicially resolve the dispute regarding the residence of children, and also immediately establish the rules for the payment of alimony.

Talking about an agreement between spouses, it is considered the surest way to resolve all issues arising in the divorce process. A sample agreement can be viewed

Such a document may contain the following conditions:

• Who the child will live with;
• The order of meetings with the child of the other parent, up to the hours and specific days of communication;
• The procedure for fulfilling the obligation to support and educate either parent;
• Expenses that will be borne by each parent and which can only be directed to the child.

From a psychological point of view, it is best to resolve all issues at the initial stage of divorce. Parents usually do not translate any conversation into scandals and arguments. So there are more opportunities to peacefully negotiate and find a compromise about the child.

However, in the case when an agreement still did not work out, the only way out is a trial.

Speaking about the division of children through the court, it should be noted that, first of all, this instance refers to the Federal Law "On the Protection of the Rights of the Child", as well as many other regulations of a similar nature.

Proceedings begin in this form when the former spouses could not find a compromise, the questions about the children have not been resolved, which means that the only way out is the court.

Moreover, when making a decision, the judge looks not only at the interests of the child, but also at certain conditions:

• The desire of the children matters for the court, however, there is a limitation - the age, the child must be at least ten years old, in the case when he has not reached this age, most often he is left with his mother;
• The desire of the father and mother, whether they want to be with the child sincerely or are pursuing some selfish goals;
• Financial aspects, as well as the characteristics of each of the parents from a moral point of view;
• The territory where this or that parent lives, amenities, infrastructure, and so on;
• The environment of each parent, the social environment in which they live;
• Other similar circumstances.

It is also important to pay attention to the intentions of the father, who may simply take the children from her out of revenge or anger at the mother.

You should go to court by filing an application. It must necessarily contain the reasons, circumstances and conditions on which one of the parents wants to keep the child.

All available facts about the child's life, his future, and also his second wife are also reported. It is immediately necessary to indicate the alimony, which can be done at the expense of a specially prepared document.

The participation of the guardianship and guardianship authorities is mandatory when it comes to ending family relations between people with common children. This is necessary in order for the specialist to study the conditions in which the children lived, in which they will live if they stay with their mother or father.

The opinion of the guardianship and guardianship authorities will also be taken into account by the judge. For its registration, a special act is drawn up, reflecting the results of the study.

In addition, psychological examinations are carried out. They help to display the situation and relationships in the family, attachments, levels of communication, and so on in the most colorful way. Not only the condition of the child is being investigated, but also of the parents.

Also, teachers can be involved, who, by research, draw conclusions about what were the conditions for the learning and development of the child. All this is confirmed by the corresponding conclusion.

In the event of a divorce, as a rule, all joint property acquired is divided in half. Former spouses can share everything. But children are not property, and the issue of their "carve-up" is rather delicate and painful, therefore, divorcing parents are interested in how children are divided in a divorce.

What the law says

Let's start with the fact that in a family where there are minor children, the marriage is dissolved only in court.

Art. 24 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation allows the conclusion of an agreement between parents in matters of residence and maintenance of a child after a divorce. If there is no such agreement, then these issues are resolved in court.

During the divorce process, its participants can voluntarily determine with whom the children will live. But if no one is inferior to anyone, the parties are in conflict, the judge makes a decision based on the interests of the child.

The court takes into account everything that concerns each child: his age, the degree of attachment to each of the parents, the state of health. If the child has reached the age of 10, then the court may take into account his desire for the future place of residence. Each of the parents is considered from the standpoint of integrity, income level and availability of a place of residence. From a material point of view, the life of a child in the event of a divorce of parents should not become significantly worse than it was during the marriage. Therefore, the responsibilities of supporting minors remain with each of the parents, regardless of who the children will live with.

In litigation, one way or another affecting the interests of minor children, guardianship and guardianship authorities are necessarily involved. Sometimes, by a court decision, an expert commission of teachers and psychologists gathers.

How in practice

Let's now see how this happens in real life.

Most often, during a divorce, the ex-husband and wife are at war with each other. The “carve-up” of children, if it is appropriate to call it that, turns into an evil game of “hurt your ex / ex”. Everyone suffers from this - both parents and children.

Legal disputes are filled with emotions, reproaches, scandals. There is nothing reprehensible in this, we can say this is a variant of the norm. Not all of us can cope with the accumulated resentment and other experiences. The main thing is to avoid mental disorder of the child after the parents divorce. But, unfortunately, this is not always possible.

According to Art. 66 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, a parent living separately from a child has all the same rights as a parent living with a child. He can see and communicate with his child, as much and when he wants, to participate in his upbringing, to represent his interests in all institutions, in a word - all parental rights remain with him. But in practice, it is not uncommon for a former spouse to interfere with the parent's communication with the children. Does it "out of harm". In this case, you have to contact the guardianship and trusteeship authorities. Representatives of this government organization can set a schedule for parent-child meetings. In case of violation of this schedule, the “offended” parent can go to court to protect their rights.

Other close relatives, for example, grandparents, can write a statement of claim to remove obstacles in communication with a child.

Children live only with their mother

Mother or father - who is preferable for the child? There is no single answer to this question. And not only because mothers and fathers are different, good and not very good, but also because for the harmonious development of the personality, the child must grow up in a complete family, with mom and dad.

At the same time, when discussing the issue, our compatriots are inclined to believe that children always stay with their mother. Indeed, the judicial practice of the USSR proceeded from the fact that minors, especially children under 3 years of age, are more attached to their mother. And their place of residence was most often determined with their mother, and not with their father.

But at present, the opinion of the Russian court is more objective: many factors, particularities of the situation are taken into account, and there are often cases when a child, after a divorce of his parents, remains to live with his father. And it is right.

In any case, both parents have all the rights and obligations in relation to their children, unless a decision has been made to revoke parental rights. And for a child it is important to communicate with both the mother and the father.

The life of a child after the divorce of his parents is certainly changing. But it is in our interests to protect him from strong feelings. Remember, wives / husbands can become exes, and children stay with us forever.

There are many unpleasant consequences caused by such a procedure as divorce proceedings. The negative emotions associated with the distribution of property values \u200b\u200bcan never be compared with the emotional experiences that a divorcing spouse has to experience when there is a minor child in their family.

Separation of children in a divorce is a huge responsibility placed on parents, because the fate of their child depends on it. And how can the division of a living person be realized, who equally needs communication with both the father and the mother. When parents get divorced, children experience a strong psychological shock, and it is very important not to aggravate the situation with arguments, but to do everything in order to minimize their experiences.

According to the legal norms of family law, children do not divide upon divorce, and this is natural, but it is determined with which of the parents they should live on a permanent basis.

There are two possible options for conducting the divorce procedure in those families where the child is in fostering. It can be a peace agreement, at best, or a lengthy divorce process, in which the decision will be made by the court, not the parents.

Compromise between parents

When the spouses decide to divorce, but they are responsible for providing for the children, it will be correct to resolve all differences between themselves, while drawing up a written agreement. In this case, none of them will have to wonder how children are divided in a divorce, and to defend their rights in court.

If the spouses are able to sensibly assess the situation and agree on who, upon divorce, will get the right to live with children, then an agreement is concluded between them, which should indicate:

1. The exact address of the child's permanent place of residence (determined according to the registration of the father or mother).
2. Details regarding the possibility of meeting with the second parent. The frequency, the amount of time, and also the place where they will occur is specified.
3. The role of each of the divorcing spouses in the organization of the educational process.
4. The amount of material resources aimed at ensuring the life of the baby.

When drawing up an agreement designed to separate rights and obligations, you need to take into account all, even the smallest, details.

In order to avoid problems in the future, it is advisable to notarize the document and make three copies. Two of them will be with the parents, and one must be left to the employee of the notary office. If these conditions are met, it will be impossible to change anything unilaterally.

If such a compromise does not violate the rights of the child during the divorce of the parents, then it will be approved during the process in the magistrates' court. Otherwise, the decision about who the children stay with will be made after clarifying all the details of the spouses' personal lives.

The claim for the division of children in the city court

If the spouses have developed completely unfriendly relations, and ambitions prevent them from agreeing on the future of their children after the divorce, then employees of state bodies are involved in the case.

To organize the trial, one of the parents should file a statement of claim and apply to the reception office of the city (district) court. In the claim, you must definitely indicate your opinion on how to divide the children in case of divorce, as well as provide the necessary evidence to substantiate this request.

It should be borne in mind that the court is guided exclusively by those legal norms, which spell out the rights of children in case of divorce. This means that providing optimal conditions for the full development of a child will exceed the personal wishes of parents based only on emotions and affection, although they will not be left unattended.

In order to divide the children exactly as you want, you need to seriously prepare for the hearing in court, and for this you need to know what issues will be considered during its holding.

Issues considered by the court when dividing children

After the court accepts all the documents, a time is appointed for the consideration of the case. It is possible that the meeting will be preceded by a three-month period determined by the spouses for reconciliation. After this time, the whole procedure will take place in the manner prescribed by law.

In court sessions aimed at determining who the children will remain with in case of divorce, an employee of the guardianship authorities must be present, who exercises control over the observance of the legitimate interests of the minor.

Obligatory circumstances to be considered in court are:

1. Parents' opinion. The fact of attachment to the child of each of the spouses separately is established. The sincerity of intentions aimed at maintenance and education is clarified. The degree of communication and the presence of common interests with the children is checked before the citizens decide to divorce. If it is proved that one of the parents was never interested in the development of the child in the past, then such a circumstance will significantly affect the results of the trial.
2. Daily behavior and personality characteristics. The moral qualities of the parents are checked, namely:
   - the use of alcohol and drugs;
   - dependence on any kind of gambling;
   - having an addiction to periodically visiting drinking establishments or gathering noisy companies;

In general, everything that can negatively affect the life of children is assessed.

3. Mental state and balance. The fact of the presence of aggression on the part of the parent in the educational process falls under close scrutiny. Frequent use of antidepressants, and even more so, being treated in a neuropsychiatric clinic will have a negative impact.
4. Responsibility level. It is unacceptable to leave a child unattended, or with those adults who are not competent in this matter.
5. Material security. It is very important that the parent with whom the child stays with after the divorce has the opportunity to carry out expenses related to education, entertainment and other needs related to the full development of the child's personality.

It is impossible to say unequivocally who will get the child in case of divorce, because each specific case provides for individual characteristics.

In addition to studying information related to the personalities of the parents, the judge can listen to the opinion of the children themselves. However, this requires that their age reaches ten years. Such arguments are not fundamental, but they will be sufficient to make a decision if there are doubts about the veracity of the testimony of the spouses.

Involvement of social workers

In exceptional cases, in order to deliver a fair verdict, the court sends a request for a commission, which will include teachers and psychologists.

With the help of an expert commission, additional information is collected regarding the intra-family relations of spouses before divorce.

The decision is made on the basis of an act drawn up by the guardianship officer, as well as the opinion of independent citizens who are able to assess the situation without the presence of any emotions.

Divorce itself does not pose a legal difficulty, but only if the spouses do not have any disagreements. If the parents are not able to independently decide how and with whom the child will live, then the situation becomes very confusing. In order to avoid unnecessary negativity, as well as take into account all possible subtleties, it is advisable to contact a specialist.

good evening
Help me figure it out, please.
For exactly one year, my husband and I have been divorced, my daughter is 2, 5 years old, I took my daughter and left for another city. I rent a 2-room apartment, favorable conditions for a child, preparations are underway for kindergarten, a job search for me.
And what about the communication between the daughter and her father? He (26 years old) after a divorce lives with his mother (47 years old), with her second husband (50 years old), and their daughter (his sister is 11 years old), 3 room apartment. The conditions are not bad either. To be honest, we have a terrible war with them. They scare me and threaten me, I am a person who thinks that he said, then he did, I go and take the "shot" first. There is no talk of a truce, at least from their side, I'm already tired ...
I have not let them see each other for a year now, a couple of times I took her ex for a week, then I specially brought her to them, but then the conditions follow from him: a month with him, a month with me. And every time they see each other, he tells me so. I can't afford it. Daughter is the meaning of my life.
I need advice from a professional third party. I believe that a girl should be at least 70% with her mother, because this is washing, dressing, affection, a girl with her mother feels free and can be capricious, offended. And will she feel at ease with her father, and he works all day, therefore, with her grandmother, with her grandfather, who is not her own?
We will not live in the same city. We did not define custody. She filed for alimony, but he doesn't pay much, he wants to, then he doesn't want ... I know that he loves her in his own way, and his mother generally considers my daughter hers, but my love is indescribable. But what's the best for your daughter? How much time does she spend with her father and with me (mother)?

Altyn Adilova

Evgeniya Sergeeva

Administrator, Moscow

Altyn Adilova good evening. How does the child react to such separation from you? Are you far from the city where your husband lives? Husband can't come on a day off?
The psychologist will answer you after a while.

Hello. I suggest you look at your situation from the other side. Only loving people will want to spend such a long time with a child. This is primarily you, as well as the father of your daughter and his parents. The fact that the grandfather is not native does not mean that he is bad. You get a job, a small child, will go to kindergarten will often get sick. You will often go on sick leave, not every employer will like it. You have no support - you are alone in another city. And here you have such good help, and you resist. Can loving people harm a child? The child should not be given away only if he is in danger, but I think this is not your case. You all love your baby, only each in its own way.
Of course, it would be nice to know the reason for your divorce and why do you say, "To be honest, we have a terrible war with them"?
You should have only one goal, to make your girl good, and not to be at enmity with each other and divide her, she is not a thing ... She is yours and dad's, there are two parts in her. And then, when you left her a couple of times for a week, she cried, she didn't want to be there? Or did you "cry" without her? Think first of all about the feelings of your daughter, and not about your female selfishness!

Good afternoon!
When I took the child away from them, of course, they did nothing wrong to her, but she cried in her sleep at night, for 2 days, cried and shouted "Mom, where are you?" This is because she is used to sleeping with me. We are a day apart from each other and my husband does not want to come to me, does not want to see me. And none of them wants to.
Why did we divorce, because the former played computer games for days on end, went to bed in the morning when we got up and woke up when we went to bed. I didn’t work, but the money came from him, that is, then his mother would throw it, then his grandmother. He has been playing for a long time, since he was 14. Before marriage, of course, I did not know about it.
His mother is very talkative and always wishful thinking, but at the same time smart and cunning. For the first year, my ex-mother-in-law and I wore each other in our arms, but then it began: why diapers, why the child's T-shirt is not ironed, why doesn't she sit, why doesn't she crawl, why doesn't she walk? Once we had a fight and she said that she was taking MY daughter! I answered her: give birth yourself. She was offended strongly, strongly - that's putting it mildly ...
Since then, we have hated each other. Well, I am quickly appeased, I don't care about her or her son. And they, in another 40 years, will not forgive me.
I didn't cry without her, I believe that in a year she will have her own personal life, kindergarten, friends, and the further, the worse. I love her, but this is not my property. But how can you live a month there, a month here? Is this normal for a child? 2 and a half years only.

Altyn Adilova

Good afternoon! Well, of course, your baby in a year will not have her personal life) She is still small. Here you have another matter! Of course, dividing the child by months is not the case! A child is happy only when his parents are happy! You are all adults, you need to sit down with your ex-husband and decide everything without the participation of his mom and dad. The child is yours, so you are directly responsible for him. Have you talked to your husband about what to do next? Let him come to you, in the end, with grandparents to visit their daughter and granddaughter! You are not against their meetings, phone calls, Skype, finally!
P. S. But about the fact that your daughter sleeps with you is controversial! The time will come when you want to wean her from this, but it will be oh how difficult. After all, you are a young woman, this is while you are alone, but it may be different ... Think about it.

Just yesterday I tried to talk to him. He is rude, sarcastic, says that if he takes it away, then for a month. Allegedly, half the time with me, half with him. But I believe that she cannot live like this, here and there, she will just meet the children, she will leave for a month. And I believe that this is not the case. He basically stands his ground. I have a feeling that he does this in order to suppress me or something like that, he can show that he is the solution ... Or as he said, or not at all. T. E my proposal: for 2 weeks, once every 2 months, it does not suit him, he starts being rude, saying that I took his child from him and for a whole year I do not let him see her. Although, he picked her up, I brought her, and when we quarreled at the next "month in a month", I went on Skype with him so that they could communicate, invited him to visit more than once. I even have messages. And when I send them to him, I prove that I am not trying to stand between them like a wall, it seems that he ignores all my arguments. It feels like I'm talking, I don't even know with whom, like in a bribed court, you bring irrefutable evidence, but they are still useless, even if there is a video that a crime has been committed, it is as if they do not see, hear, and destroy.
Perhaps this is another reason why I exploded in my marriage ...
Well, in general, he wants to pick her up for a month or does not answer my messages. This is our correspondence. I do not know what to do. He pisses me off, I consider him, to put it mildly, a fool. But he is a kind person at heart. Father of my little angel. I don’t understand how to solve such a sensitive issue with such a stubborn and principled person.

In general, I could do like many mothers, forget about everything and live with my child. But it is important for me that she receives attention, compliments, male affection and care from her father.
And we sleep with my daughter, because I am alone)

Altyn Adilova

Then, you can only communicate on Skype and phone. After all, you write: "he says that if he takes it, then for a month." If I do, that is, he still hesitates to take it or not? And if you don't give a daughter, he will come and take her himself?
What are you afraid of?

And you need to communicate not by phone, but eye to eye. Just you and him!

I understand that they need to see each other, but for how long? A week every month: he takes a lot of money for the trip, for a month, I do not agree. 20 days there, 40 days with me, this is the middle. But how can a child be? I'm afraid of everything ...

Altyn Adilova

Good evening! So the point is not that dad wants to see his daughter for a month, but that a lot of money is spent on the road! Are you so worried about him or did he tell you so?

Yes, he wants to take her for a month for 2 reasons: so that he would spend more time with his daughter, and therefore there is no opportunity to ride every month. I don’t feel sorry for him. I thought his daughter was important to him. In my opinion, he does not particularly care.

Altyn Adilova

Good afternoon! If you don’t give him a child, will he take it by force?
By law, both spouses have equal rights and obligations in relation to the child, neither of them has an advantage over the other.
According to the law, separation of children upon divorce can be carried out in two ways:
-signing by parents of a settlement agreement on all "children's" issues;
-Application to the district court to determine the place of residence of the children, the procedure for communication and participation in the upbringing of children, bearing the costs of maintaining the children of each of the parents and other issues.
Divorce can affect the psycho-emotional development of the child and not at all for the better. Therefore, considering all the options for the further temporary stay of the child with you or with the father, you must, first of all, think about the child, and not about your grievances and pride. And this must first of all convey to the ex-spouse! Mom and Dad are two of the most important and necessary people in a child's life. Therefore, it is necessary to organize your life in such a way that both parents feel comfortable and take care of the child as much as possible. You, as a former spouse, need to mutually discuss the time that he (dad) can devote to the child. And to convey to dad that it is better for dad to spend several hours with the child, a couple of days a month, at your home, but they will be memorable, joyful and mutually beneficial for both, than to take the child to a long distance flattering his vanity. A "good dad" is not someone who often takes a child to him. A "good dad" is scored on other criteria. Explain to your dad that he will not benefit the child with these trips, grandparents can communicate by phone if they want to or by Skype to see the child. And dad, insist let him spend time with you at your place at home. While the child is small for him, this is the best option. You should not injure the child's psyche with flights from city to city.
Start a conversation with dad with the words: "Do you love your daughter?" You must both understand that you need to act together for the good of your daughter, and not in spite of and in spite of each of you.
Of course, the best option in your problem is visiting a psychologist, family psychotherapy. Where are you together with your daughter's father and a specialist.

Divorce in any case will be a serious psychological trauma for children. But life in a family whose members have become strangers to each other is at least not the best alternative to a civilized dissolution of marriage. Divorce usually entails the need to resolve many difficult issues.

For example, how to divide joint property. Who will remain the owner of an apartment, a summer residence, a car, and so on. But there is a much more complex problem that does not have a known correct solution - this is the question of who the child will stay with or how to share the children, if there are several of them.

Any mistake in the division of property is fraught, in the worst case scenario, only with material losses. A mistake in the issue of children, incomplete consideration of all factors can cause ruined human destinies.

The problem with which of the divorcing spouses the children who have not reached the age of majority will live, or how they will be divided between the spouses, can be solved in two ways. The first way is a pre-trial agreement between a father and a mother. In any case, divorce in the presence of minor children can only be made by a court decision. And it is also the responsibility of the court to determine with whom the child will remain after the divorce. The court must consider and take into account the pre-trial agreement of the parents.

If it is impossible to make a joint voluntary decision on this issue, then the court will make the decision. Naturally, he will consider all options, take into account the recommendations of the guardianship authorities and the wishes of the minors themselves. The court decision will determine the place of residence of each minor child, the need and procedure for paying alimony maintenance and other related issues. When making a decision, the court will be guided primarily by the interests of children.

Until the age of three, as a rule, the court leaves the child with the mother, guided by the consideration that at this age children are more in need of maternal care. After reaching the age of ten, the court will certainly listen and take into account the opinion of the child himself when making a final decision.

The characteristics of the parents - their moral character, the presence of harmful habits and preferences, having a job, attitudes towards children and many others. Any court decision concerning minor children can only be made in agreement with the guardianship authorities.

If you are not satisfied with the court's decision, you can appeal the decision to a higher court. In order for your complaint to be satisfied, you will have to prove that the child's living with the second parent is unfavorable in the first place for the child himself. In general, the process of filing a complaint against a court decision is rather complicated and therefore, if you nevertheless decided on this, then you can advise you to contact a lawyer to develop a legally competent algorithm of actions. Also, a specialist will help draw up all the necessary documents for the court.

A pre-trial agreement between parents allows you to avoid unnecessary stress for underage children, although it is also not an ideal way. There are two erroneous premises on the basis of which parents approach the question of how to divide their children in a divorce.

• The first erroneous premise is that children should be divided equally between parents. In essence, this provision deliberately does not take into account the interests of children. For example, what if all children choose to stay with one of the parents. Or it is more important for the children to keep in touch with each other.
• The second premise is completely opposite to the first, but it is also erroneous - it is impossible to divide children when parents divorce and they must all live in one place. This premise has the same disadvantage as the first, namely, it does not take into account the opinion of the children themselves. It is not at all necessary that all children are closely related to each other, or that some of them have no preferences for parents.

It is impossible to decide how to divide the children on the basis of some templates. Any decisions must take into account the conditions of a specific situation, specific people. First of all, the wishes of the children themselves, their interests and preferences should be taken into account.

It is very important that when solving this issue, parents forget for a while about their own grievances, feelings, emotions. Each of them should understand that their future largely depends on how the children are divided upon divorce.

One more point must be taken into account. Even if after a divorce you are deprived of the opportunity to live with your child, this does not mean that you cannot meet with him, spend free time together, and take part in his upbringing. This argument should also force parents to pay more attention to the interests and needs of the child, rather than their own desires.

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