Psychological support of the child. What kind of child behavior is problematic? Believe that any of your action will throw out the fatal way to develop a child

All parents from time to time have to cope with the disobedience of the child. We hardly like it, but it happens. Sometimes we have no idea what you need to do and looking for a specialist to get help. We are afraid to do wrong and lower the child's self-esteem. We continue to look for ways to cope with his defiant behavior. But we will not despair, there is hope! All we need to do is in a timely manifestation with the manifestations of inappropriate behavior, i.e., at once, as soon as it arises, and adhere to the discipline strategy. This article presents useful tips that will help you in this responsible business. So.

1. Try to understand your recalcitrant child.

If you are a parent child who behaves defiantly, it is important that you tried to understand it. Whatever it is, first of all, you need to demonstrate his unconditional love. If a child or teenager behaves defiantly, it means that he considers himself an even one. He does not see the mentor, the older, the main thing. It is necessary for adults to understand his feelings, otherwise he is disappointed, offense and manifests anger. All children experience such emotions at one time or another, but children with causing behavior cannot cope with the fact that they do not understand them.

2. Remove the child from the situation

If your child begins to behave defiantly, immediately remove it from the situation! Tell your child, that it's time to go home, and immediately leave. Do not let him begged you to stay or traded with you.

3. Hold your own reactions, reinforce words

If you notice that the child behaves defiantly, first take a step back. Inhale deeper. Never lose composure in the presence of a child. Tell him a calm voice that his behavior is unacceptable and that you will talk to him later. Give a child for some time to think about what he did and the possible consequences of his actions. During this time, calm down, take yourself in hand and demonstrate to him the right reaction.

4. First of all, control yourself

The cries of parents make the child behave even worse. Crees can very quickly output the situation from under control. When your child hears how you shout, he feels that you have lost control over yourself. It concludes that emotional bursts are quite allowed. Make a deep breath and calm down. Then start talking to a child with a solid and calm voice. This is a very important step that helps to solve the problems of manifestations of causing behavior and soften the confrontation.

5. Keep control over the situation

The dispute with the child gives him the opportunity to control what is happening, which means that he allows him to behave even more definingly and aggressively. If confrontation arose between you, tell the child the following: "You already know the consequences of your actions!". After that leave. If you leave at the moment when the last word remains yours, then still control the situation.

6. Place the child responsibility

Before you begin to adjust any kind of manifestation of calling behavior, spend a family assembly, do it when you are all calm and balanced. Set home rules for a naughty child and explain to him what kind of duties are entrusted with the housework, as and when he should do homework when you go to bed, come home from a walk and how to treat others. Make a list of manifestations of unacceptable behavior in which rudeness can be included, physical aggression in anger, refusal to fulfill their duties and disrespectful behavior. We are responsible for a child and describe the consequences for violation of home rules.

7. Describe the consequences corresponding to the child's age

There are two categories of consequences that are used as discipline methods. One of them is a removal, for example, the removal of a child from its room, time out (one minute for each year of age) or "deleting" favorite toys.

The second category is forcing, for example, coercion to pay a fine for bad behavior and making this amount in the piggy bank, adding household responsibilities at home, going along with you for purchases instead of games on the street with friends, etc.

Removal, as a rule, works better for young children, and coercion usually helps with older and adolescent children.

8. Do not yield, do not bargain and do not make the second attempt

You must stand firmly on your own and follow the discipline strategy at the moment when you adjust the causing behavior of the child. If you are consistent, the child will know that your words do not diverge with the case. If you give up or tell, he will not take you seriously. If a child speaks someone's bad words, you must immediately stop such behavior. Tell your child the following: "You can not say such words to other people. Go to your room. " Be sequential. Thorough and giving a child a second chance, you allow him to behave defiantly.

9. Children need a positive reinforcement

Parents are extremely important to reinforce the good child's behavior. Reinforce any positive, any good child act. A lot and often praise him when he behaves well, award him for cooperation. It strengthens the sense of responsibility of the child for their actions.

10. Communicate regularly with the child

When a good relationship is settled between you and the child, talk more with him and tell about your expectations. Explain to the child that you like a parent doing everything possible to teach it useful life skills to grow up with a responsible young man. Tell me that you are not trying to deliver to him trouble, but you want him to be strong and satisfied with life.

11. Let the child take part, contributes

When you discuss with your child your expectations from him, be sure to let him speak. Let him choose what he wants to do. It gives some sense of control and helps to reduce the degree of resistance. Ask a child at what time he wants to fulfill his duties around the house or what duties he would like to do.

12. Know when it should be compromised

It is important not to bargain, but to learn a recalcitrant child to reach a compromise. You are a little inferior, he is a little inferior - and everyone is happy. For example, if you send a child to sleep for bad behavior, and he asks to keep the light on to be able to read, do not deny. You deleted it from the destructive situation and described the necessary consequences, this is more than enough.

13. Attach all the forces so that your family becomes a team of like-minded people.

Explain all family members disciplinary rules and convince everyone to follow them. You and your spouse must agree on what behavior is acceptable, and what is unacceptable. If senior teenage children look at young children, they must adhere to your principles and be consistent with the implementation of discipline strategies. Younger child should know that in your lack of main in the house is his older brother or sister and that the elders expect from him the same behavior as you.

Exclude an option opposition-causing disorder

If you can't control the causing behavior of the child at all, then it should be verified that it does not suffer from the so-called Opposition-causing disorder. When a child for six months is constantly kept, behaves defiantly and it is difficult to control it, there is a high probability that he has ORP. Symptoms of such a disorder include unlimited
15.10.2016

What behavior is permissible and acceptable for a child, and what is extremely undesirable? Solve this task is not as easy as it may seem at first glance. Let's try to find the golden middleness between excessive rigor and outcome.

What does bad behavior mean?

For a child, bad behavior is a form of communication with adults, can be a way to draw attention and report about your desires. Therefore, if a child demonstrates bad behavior, first of all, try to understand that he wants you to "inform" in such a peculiar way.

In various situations, poor behavior may mean: "I don't know what to do", "I need attention", "I'm tired", "I want to do something else", "I do not understand what is happening around", etc .

Mom tells the mother of a two-year-old boy: "The son was calmly played, but after a while he began to capricious, scatter toys and pester to his sister. I began to read it and tried to distract with a new toy."

What happened? The child played a long time and lost interest in the game, Mom was busy with his affairs. The kid "used" sister to attract the attention of the mother and get a change of activity.

How to prevent bad behavior?

Analyzing the behavior of the child, try to understand what situations are "disruption", and try to warn them.

The child begins to behave badly from boredom - suggest a change in time.

The child is capricious when you are talking on the phone, - put a box with toys.

Your attention is required during the game - talk to the child, ask stakeholders.

Difficulties arise during a joint hike shopping - tell you what you buy, for what else to buy. Make up for a baby "Picturesque" shopping list, offer the baby with you to find in the store you need products.

Highlight typical situations in which the child behaves badly, and choose the appropriate strategy.

How to react?

Try to immediately respond to unwanted behavior, without waiting for a suitable moment. For example, if a child on the playground selects toys from other children, you should not wait to return home. It is necessary to stop unwanted behavior and explain that it is impossible to do so. Belazen reaction: "You behaved badly on the street" - it is useless, she will not give anything to the child.

Avoid phrases like: "What a bad boy," "Look, what a bad girl!", By this you underestimate the child's self-esteem. Let me understand that you do not approve of behaviors: "You did a bad thing when I took the toy from the boy."

Right to aggression

Sometimes kids with a big delight throw toys on the floor, break up the buildings from cubes, knocking a spoon in a saucepan, play with a drum or hammer. On the one hand, noisy games allow the child to throw out the accumulated emotional stress: sharp movements and loud sounds contribute to discharge. On the other hand, such games give the child a sense of power over others. Breaking, throwing, clapping, the baby feels the king. Let the "king" enjoy your power in a permissible game form.

In many families there is a ban on aggressive behavior: a child cannot bite, pushed or fight. Gradually comes to understanding that it is impossible to offend close. But despite this, the child is still experiencing aggression. A wonderful toy can come to the rescue, she wills tolerate kicks and jolts, "saying" to the child: "You can be affectionate and kind, but sometimes a little aggressive."

Caution: Self-aggression!

Some children have a bad habit of inflicting injuries: fight your head about floor or bed, bite yourself, beat your fist on the forehead, pull hair, etc. It is important to understand what happened in the family, what changes caused such a reaction. Such behavior may also be associated with fear, anxiety or annoyance from the fact that the child does not understand. He is again and again trying to report something, but, not getting attention and understanding, falls into the rage, reassuring the offense for himself.

A child who is peculiar to self-aggression can be offered to spill negative emotions, playing with wet sand and water. Let me pour water into a sand with sand, breed "dirt", touch her hands. You can add small toys to wet sand. Later, when the child calms down, try to clarify his feelings and find out what caused indignation.

If the attacks of self-education do not pass, consult with a psychologist.

Do not be afraid to say "no"

If parents are demanding and understanding at the same time, the child feels safe, he knows what is allowed to him, and for which they can punish. Therefore, it is very important to be able to say "no" when it is necessary.

If the child does something unacceptable in your opinion (for example, beats another child), you should surely say "no" without irritation and explain that you can not beat people, but you can take a hand, say hello or stroke your head. When you prohibit anything to a child, demonstrate the appropriate emotions. Do not raise noise, do not attract the attention of other adults - just let you understand that you do not suffer such behavior.

If you said "no", try to stick to your decision. The child should know that "no" means "no". Landing the child's requests, you yourself can get into the trap.

Remember that constant prohibitions will lead to the fact that the child will begin to ignore them. Therefore, use the prohibition when it is really necessary. Do not seek too limiting the freedom of the child, he must explore the world around him, know the new and learn from his mistakes.

Family Rules

In each family, certain rules are developed in the course of life. In order for the child to help them, they should not change daily, and there should be no contradictions in the requirements of different family members. The child must understand that if something is forbidden, then the annoying requests and the whisper will not help. Realizing this, the child usually complies with the rules: their constancy gives him a sense of security.

Children are very smart and can check you on strength. At this point, you may seem that the situation becomes only worse. But do not despair, it is temporary. As soon as the child understands that you are constant in your requirements, the behavior will change for the better.

Be honest in relations with children, if somewhere wrong, do not be afraid to say about it and recognize your mistake.

Of course, the norms of behavior are great, but we should not forget about humanity. Sometimes, so you want to go to bed a little later, or eat more sweet, for example, during a hike in the park. And how nice to go under a warm summer rain and jump on the puddles barefoot. From time to time let yourself have these little weaknesses, they make us happier and remain in memory much longer than ordinary norms.

We want our children to grow sensitive, kind and understanding. To do this, we must submit them a positive example. Children are more followed by examples, and not words.

Is it possible to manage difficult behavior?

Usually adults try to stop unwanted behavior by prohibitions, threats, persuasion or not to notice. But sometimes it is enough just to sympathize to listen to the child and try to see the situation from his point of view.

Show the child that you understand it and share its problem. "You took the car from Petitka, because you liked it, and you also wanted to play with her." It provides a child a sense of security and self-confidence.

However, sympathizing with a child, do not let him do what violates the pre-advanced requirements: "But you can not select toys, offered the pets to change the machine or choose another."

Show that you understand the feelings of a child, it does not mean that you "go on about." Stay near and speak with a child calm voice.

Have your favorite book or a child's toy with you. It can help if you are in the store, in transport or talk with people. If you feel the approach of unwanted behavior, get a book and try to talk to the child.

Wear a small bottle with a solution of soap bubbles in a handbag. If you need to distract the baby on the street, it can help you out. Bubbles, as a rule, cause positive emotions in most children.

Faced with the difficult behavior of the child, try to keep calm and positive attitude. In addition to negative comments, do not forget about good words for your baby. Praise and approve the child when he behaves well and shows even small successes (for example, calmly draws).

Often parents confuse the reaction of the surrounding child's behavior. Do not give it much importance. Different people have the idea of \u200b\u200bpoor and good behavior. Therefore, do not worry about what they will think.

Try to find classes from which the child receives positive emotions and behaves well (for example, a walk in the park or a playground playing). Find time for these classes and get as many positive emotions as possible from communicating with each other.

Sophia Pozdnyakovachild psychologist

Discussion

i always do not just say no

Well, a very useful article. For myself, I learned a lot of interesting things. Honestly, I rarely tell my child, so it can, she is so naughty for me. We must be able to say the word no and do it rightly.

Comment Article "Poor behavior: What is the right reaction? How to say the child" "No" ""

Hygiene rules for nursing mom Nursing mom must adhere to hygiene rules. However, this does not mean that you need to wash your breasts with soap before and after each feeding, as recommended quite recently. Frequent washing breasts with soap leads to removal of protective and softening lubricants from the skin. After her removal, the skin dries on the nipples, and cracks begin to form. Yes, and when feeding a child at the request of women there is no time for all these procedures. In the first days after childbirth ...

Is it appropriate to make comments other children? How not to hurt your parents (if these are small children of friends, for example)? Regarding children acquaintances, I am a supporter of about the same attitude towards them, as I would relate to adults. That is, I do not have the right to teach, there is no right to make comments from the position of the mother of these children. But I have the right, even if I see an adult who interferes to me, behaves inadequately, noisy, etc., I have the right to speak out, as far as I am uncomfortable, how much is it ...

I continue to "reboot" by its author's program "Personal Safety of the Child". Watch out for the updates: # Personafety Credit Count Read more Two first items of the next algorithm: "As a child should behave, if an unfamiliar person is suitable for him." The order of the safe behavior of the child 1. We estimate the situation. 2. Hold the distance (2-3 meters)! 3. Precise conversation, say: "Sorry!" 4. Go to a safe place. We tell about the best parents. (See the release of LBR No. 024) ...

It began ... Wound, but these are realities. Almost 5 years ago, we accepted in the seven three orphans, boys, pre-school brothers. The older was 5, the youngest year and a half. After a short time it turned out that the children are very poorly adapted in society. The established rules cannot comply with the instructions of adults to work in classes, adequately respond to comments. That visual effect that the children are externally very beautiful, well-groomed, the sleeves, developed and nonsense - causes the surrounding ...

Discussion

Hello, I know the year has passed as you wrote here about your problem, how did you decide everything? My son is in first grade, translated him to another school in November and in the month began all the horror that you write here !! Basically with teachers and school principals, I do not know how to help your son !!! There are no places in another school, with classmates part, girls mostly get along, but scary scary with loans! And the threats and insults of the director, I can't cry at home, I see how to bring it ... With younger son, 5.5 excellent relationships, there are no psychos ... But there ... and there was a pediatrician ... and the kindergarten It was all saying a normal baby .... how to solve the situation, but they insult me \u200b\u200bthat I am inactive ...

Lee, forces you and patience! Soviets do not give any due to the lack of such experience, but I want to support you with good wishes. Health and wisdom in the new year!

I will write, I'm going for a long time. It will be about passioned receiving children with a bad social history. I almost 8 months ago I became a receiving mother of the girl 6.5 years. At the same time, I have a homemade daughter 11 months older. After the younger daughter lived at home around 2 months, I realized that these two girls live in two different worlds. The eldest lives in a world where adults love children and care about them. The youngest lives in the world where adults are at best - do not pay attention to children, and in ...

Discussion

You are right just over ... I tell you how the returned once for the unnecessary child. + Revenge. Holy. With a capital letter. ("Why only me?! Let everyone!") Type "I have the right!".
But you are well done ... so reconstruct life ...
P.S. On the tears of the child, I can react only with rabies: "Shut up! That's right you don't have rights to it! You are too well safe!" (If someone is somewhere interesting. In general, all this is a long garbage. Right now, it was made up.)

Something in your words is. I have a very difficult child, which I took 6.5 years. Before me, the adoptive family beat him, and I understand them why, the bottom of the child was returned to the shelter. I have other methods. 2 years have passed now, the child has not ceased to be difficult, but already less sucks. I can say, just that he himself is bad from himself and I am very sorry for me. Tips for others I do not take to give, all children are different.

Children's psychologists advise not to pronounce some phrases, so as not to injure the baby, it doesn't matter how much he is from kind - he already understands, even by intonation. What you can not speak to the child: 1. You see, you can't do anything, let me do the baby kept with laces or trying to fasten the button, but it's time to go out. Of course, it is easier to do everything for him, not paying attention to the angry children's "I myself". Moreover, it is soon the impulses of autonomy run out - why try when mom is all ...

1. Question number 1: "I'm a random of obedient or successful?" 2. When the child does not listen to you, remember the question number 1. 3. Even the smallest best mom knows warmly or cold, he wants to eat or no longer, he likes something or not like something. 4. Children copy parents. It makes no sense to scold for the flaws they took from you. 5. Check the child more often. For example: what (and how much) to eat, what to play, where to walk ... So he learns. 6. If possible, do not bother to get a negative experience ...

Discussion

What to understand under "obedient". If in the sense of controlled, then IMHO, it will hardly be successful. For suppression by authorities as a child smoothly flies into the same in adulthood

Little, with which I agree. And, most importantly, I do not like this opposition to obedient and successful. As if obedient are not successful, and the success - mandatory continuation of disobedience. If the child is successful, he is successful (and still need to determine what to understand this). Because being president is one. Just happy is another. Being happy yourself and make the life of others better - this is generally the third. These groups can intersect in one person, and may not.

By the way, an interesting reaction will be in a child if you break her hysteria on video. 10.Regulously to conduct "flight dissembly" and teach the right behavior daily. "I reread your post - tell me, when you took a schoolgirl, didn't you know that children from ...

Discussion

"A year ago, I had another girl in my family, Tanya. She arrived a week before his 10th anniversary. And again I had the first gust" to give a child everything she was deprived. "
But with her, I reacted much faster that the girl is already very strongly breakdown with an orphanage - instead of rejoice in the opportunities, she only built dissatisfied physiognomy, demanded more, more, more and cooler. At the same time, naturally, there was no mental warmth from her side, and there could not be. Moreover, if the first 3 days the child was held in the framework, then after these, she began to demonstrate the union and aggressive behavior. ".

This writes the receptionive mother Olga Korotkov Ollako her nickname in LJ. By Tagu "Tanya" many posts about the adopted daughter of the age of your girl, and with similar behavior. There is its own situation, there are still children in the house, and not with all Mom methods can agree, but something deserves attention.

Uff, exhaled!)))
Thank you very much to everyone who wrote !!!
So I do without you? It is good that there is a conference, and most importantly, that there are such wonderful people on the confiff!
I let go a little. So that even pictures in the album laid out)))
Who is interested, password 6666. then closing.

Selected - they said it badly, they said to ask. Requests - do not give. Here's how with them? To play on roles with toys, scoring models of behavior, reactions, child, and the very essence of the case is one - it's not necessary to communicate :)) Ours I spoke the point correctly, adult, everything was disliked.

Discussion

IMHO, this is not autism. If you play with younger, then understands the dynamics of the game.

Difficulties with speech ... pull it out! Meanwhile, teach a child to buy friendship. For gifts, for cool toys, for sweets ... Do not throw in me sneakers. My daughter did not speak until 4 years old, in general, I taught her right away to children to give them toys ... There were friends ... Now everything was corrected, actually as soon as she spoke, everything became normal, immediately.

I want to draw your attention for two points.
1. The child learns. Interter's child with autistic features is difficult to comprehend quickly to all the wisdom of communication. Selected - they said it badly, they said to ask. Requests - do not give. It continues to ask, asks culturally that it is very well characterized. At this point, it's time to simply give him a new portion of information about the world, and that's it. Of course, it is difficult for you to find the form of filing this information quickly, especially under the pressure of the mother, whose son Vova, you see, irritated.

Therefore, they do not register themselves for what worked non-optimally, but wrap themselves on the future. I think that, taking into account the age of the city, the information must be as simple as possible, even if not ideally correct. In the simple version, you can certainly tell the "boy greedy" - but this option is not quite good. It is good only by the fact that little words and the child is not confused in the text. You do not say Vinga "You see, son, by virtue of the mental features of children's age, not all children are capable of parting the toy at the request of a foreign person, because it can cause damage to their psyche" and like blah blah blah.

Therefore, you need to say the same idea to simple words with the use of a simple example. "Wagon, probably, this boy Mom only gave a toy yesterday, and he still did not play, he wanted to give even a second. Remember how you did not want to give the machine that you were presented to you for the new year?"
It will be older - explain that the reasons can be different, someone greedy, and someone did not play, we do not know the reasons, but the result is one - you need to find ways to survive frustration. But here, they come to the rescue with a candy mother. Or maybe even make a habit of habit in a bag, some kind of surprise, which in such a situation will be able to calm and distract the child.

That is, summoning, the child learns, knows the world, and the task of adults - to facilitate this study.

2. Ultraworth your attitude to what is happening. I understand that you are also introvert, and, of course, it is difficult to teach a child to the fact that the most difficult is given. But on our side our age and our experience. (I am writing this pronoun because I also have difficult areas for me, which I have to teach children).

You need to add to the upbringing of the Son of your personal ease in the processing of different situations and self-confidence. According to my observations, the inner rod of confidence in itself or exists from an early age, or (if not since childhood) is increasing during life. Someone has to old age :). (My mother-in-law in childhood and youth was a nasty duckling. The other day the employee called her, he said that she was the best woman in the CRT :).)

Here is a person who understands that all these cars that do not give greedy boys - bustle bows - and can help in this situation in the city. Find somewhere in this situation (if not in this, then in the next) even though a yumor! And show her to the child. Buy him in compensation toy or chocolate. Play with the toys in the sandbox. The bear gave a hare machine, and the tiger did not give, the hare went to cry, and Mom told him - do not cry, let's go better with a teddy bear and so on. etc.

Show him with your attitude that you do not need to give such situations too much importance. By the way - it is not excluded - that you yourself give it more value than the son would do it yourself, i.e. Learn not lightness, but on the contrary. The last thought is certainly not a statement, but the version or, if you want, a warning.

Teases, challenges, cash defeats, fights. And the ears are long, and the surname is funny, and the fact that the clothes are not as necessary, and it is not necessary to speak. For any child, a new team is a large emotional load, additional stress. Woman.ru will tell me how to teach the child to react to mockery. For any child, a new team is a big emotional load for anyone no secret that the kids who visited the kindergarten are much better adapted to school. For them already ...

Children do not like when the strangers speak poorly. And he can conclude about your impotence in front of him. Incorrect your child reaction. Here, one mother wrote, as her daughter gasped her, and mom said in response: "And what is the right reaction?

Discussion

There were attempts to snap. Very strictly pulled out, and because Usually I do not communicate with my daughter, then she quickly realized that she did something wrong. Literally recently answered me "Well, you stuck to me," I saw my angry face and immediately apologized.

I tried this, after watching the rude child in the group. Here I turn on the "dominant male". That is, no "calmly explained that it is impossible to talk like that." This, IMHO, the case when the boundaries are needed. I strictly spoke in a high tone: "Who is this with m_a_m_o_y now talking about ???" I explained hard that so in our family, I do not speak, how are you not letting chat, we restrict communication with them. If such a family becomes started, then I can also talk to him too - like it? Like that.

I told the child last year. The daughter found itself on the Internet, without the help of girlfriends. Mom bad. It remains to teach a child to voice them correctly, and the mother can be able to hear them and with their reaction "not to push" the child.

Discussion

Please tell me. There was a similar situation. The child, staying at home alone, includes the Internet and watching porn. As it turned out, not the first day. Age -9 years. Girl. She said that girlfriends in the class said, see what it is, and then we will not be friends with you. Perhaps trying to justify. I am worried about the fact that she looked not just "sex", and debauchery sex with dwarf, group sex and so on. How much does all this in the head remain? How best to talk to the child?

I will start the fact that I am terribly interested, what kind of children were seen ... maybe it's not "dirt" at all, but just naked kissing uncle and aunt ... I would ask how I can help, can explain something to the child about seen. If there are no questions, it would be said that 1) Only adult people have the right to view pictures - video (clarify how many years by D. B. person); 2) In the relations of adults, there is everything that suits them and does not interfere with anyone; 3) In our family, people are not interested in watching this, because we believe that the intimate relations of people should not be posted at the bottom. And all ... And about the daughter's friend ... I would for the upbringing of an extraneous aunt of my daughter (especially with the addiction), the ears would have thrown this tet (already, alone, would talk to the daughter) ...
The most basic is now, in fact, spend and retard from children ... Daughters explain that such a mother's reaction was from shock (I never thought that intimate attitudes of adult people can be available for watching children) ... talk quietly Without emotions, with a mom's mom about that. What and where they saw and explain how to put protection against children ...

I communicate with moms badly hearing children in several forums. But, indeed, the behavior of my kid is different from the behavior of hearing-haired children. He, as if he hears, no.

Discussion

My had Motor Alalia, but the speech therapist argued that the sensory too. The girl did not goule at all, was silent, after a year she began to wash, the leptice appeared after one and a half years, the words - after three, four began to stutter himself, at the past five years he said with great difficulty, her outsiders did not understand her. Five and a half began to read, I read a lot, I worked hard with the speakeropian, I really wanted to learn how to say everything. For six months, they put all the sounds, the stutter decreased sharply, at 6.5 years old under the caused speech therapist that I would enemy my child and from the deep disapproval of the PMPC I gave it to school, and even with the study of two foreign languages. Now she is in grade 9, learning well, all problems with speech have long been forgotten.

I have two sensors-motor already undergotiated. Ask what interests.

To teach to understand that the joy of the bad word has said or the joy of attracting the mother's well, that is, it is right - such behavior? And I first hear that it is impossible to offend the child. I think that she is understandable to her, because she behaves like that.

Discussion

I think that you can take offense and need. You, as a parent form the identity of the child, help him assimilate the basic relationship lessons with the surrounding people. Resentment is a normal response to the caused pain. You can not be offended only on fools and people whose opinion is indifferent to you. Your child, I suppose does not apply to these groups. The child will set the causal relationship between the poor act and the consequence: in fact, the insult is one of the forms of punishment, but it can not be abused and devalued. The offense should be rare, without manifestation of aggression and last long, while the child is not aware of the misdemeanor. How to show offense? Simple limit of attention. Do not fully ignore the child, arrange it silent protest and go into myself. It is just necessary to be a bit more cold in communication and not rejoice in life. You are upset and offended. Children are very sensitive, they quickly catch the change in your mood. Wait for the child himself asks "What happened?" Then calmly, without anger, but with the offense, explain why you feel bad. The main thing is not to overtake the stick, do not torment the child and do not force your guilt. He quickly goes around. You are the roads to him, he wants to see you a cheerful and responsive. Do not be offended by trifles, not part with insults. This will determine the punishment, the child will understand that you are crabming and forget, without having learned a lesson for myself and without making the right conclusions.

Discussion

Thanks for answers.
Yesterday everything was different. Dad him in the group began and went quietly. After 2.5 hours they called us and said: Run, pick up. Dad-Balbes, no clearly say that he leaves. The child ran into the group to play and did not even realize that he was alone, and then scared. In the evening, the system, at night too. Everything is clear - a natural reaction to stress. The garden refused to go flat. I decided it on Thursday and did not drive Friday, and from Monday again try.
All through it pass, but how it is more correct to do - take breaks or go better every day?

Council will not give. We have in the group those children who inadequately behaved last year, behave also in this. And one at all is 4 years old, and it will not be translated from the nursery for bad behavior. Although it seems to me that what to leave him to the kids to offend, it would be better to be sent to the elders on the contrary. Maybe they would be divided, I would understand what's what.

Guys, we put the soul in the site. So
what you open this beauty. Thanks for inspiration and goosebumps.
Join us in Facebook. and In contact with

The shelves of bookstores are bursting from literature on the upbringing of children, the profession of the children's and family psychologist has long been not uncommon. Nevertheless, the question of how to grow children and do not make serious mistakes, is relevant more than ever.

We are in website We decided to figure out what kind of mistakes would lie on the path of parenthood.

13. Always get up on the side of the educator or teacher

As far as the sharp was the situation in which the child is to blame, do not scold him together with the educator or teacher. In such a situation, it is especially important for him to feel that you love it, even if neither the droplets approve of his act.

It is worth finding out which claims are presented to the child, apologize for his behavior. A serious conversation is better to postpone and discuss all at home. Otherwise The child is unlikely to make the meaning of your words, but a serious crack may appear in your relationship.

12. Fully dedicate yourself to a child

With the advent of the child in the life of the parents, inevitably decreases the time they can pay for themselves. But forget about themselves, it is still impossible. Personal hobbies should always be, time to treat themselves, for a full holiday, communicating with his spouse.

After all, if the parents devote all their life to the child, he will almost inevitably grow an egoist, it will be difficult for him to adapt in the world. In addition, by this you deprive him of the reasons to be proud of your parents, and for him it is important to achieve them and how they look.

11. Do not trust your child

It is much easier and faster to do all things yourself, without trusting their child. But the advantages of such education are very dubious. After all at the kidsimply there will be no chance to learn independence, become confident and their strength.Parents must give a choice, and not solve everything themselves. If the child gets used to what everyone is doing for him, in his future life it becomes extremely difficult for him to make important decisions for himself.

10. Compare with all and as often as possible.

Always found as those who will be in something better than your children and those who will give him to something. And the child as a result of constant comparisons loses confidence in its own forces or starts competing with everyone, strive to prove that he is best. But such a constant race will not bring any happiness.

If we compare children, then with them, but in the past. So they will be easier to see their own progress, their past achievements - they will be able to believe that they will learn almost everything they want.

9. Contact grandmothers and the Internet, and not to specialists

Often young parents lack experience and confidence in the upbringing of the child. And many of them are in search of the answer to their questions for help to internet forums, literature, The authors of which are not experts in matters of education and care, "verified" recipes of grandmothers. But often following their advice, parents only exacerbate the problem.

If the situation is really serious, you should seek help from specialists who will give competent recommendations.

8. Replace your love, attention and care

The child who is accustomed to the fact that the purchase is the only way to express parental love, begins to demand more and more. Not the best way it affects its character. Grows indifferent, stubborn, calculating. Relationships with parents become frankly consumer. In the future, such children it is difficult to build a happy personal relationship, they are also moving away from their parents.

7. Violate the personal space of the child

When parents hold a child's life under full control, it seems to them that this is the best guarantee of its safety. But unceremonious questions, the invasion of the child's room, reading his Internet correspondence only they give parents and children, deprive them of confidence.

A child can become closed, incredulous, experience difficulties in communicating with peers, can affect the influence of bad companies. Of course, it is important for parents to keep your hand on the pulse, but it is necessary to do it correctly.

6. Believe that any of your action will rock a fatal effect on the development of the child.

Often parents are suitable for the upbringing of children too responsibly. Choosing a pot or stroller for a child will take away from them for several weeks, and an inadvertently abandoned sharp word causes a prolonged feeling of guilt.

But do not think that every our awkward movement makes a child an irreparable injury. . After all, HIS well-being in the first place develops from the peace of mind and happiness of parents. And this is impossible until the parents focuses on really important things.

5. Invent standards that the child must match

Probably, each parent has such a parent regarding the development of their children, their upbringing. But still do not forget that every person is unique, everyone has their inconsistencies and interests. And whatever our good intentions, you need to give children the right to choose.

If you can constantly impose a bar, which he must match, - he will not immediately add enthusiasm. And the desire to meet parental expectations all life happiness just definitely will not bring.

4. Fencing any difficulties

The best way to not allow mistakes is to do nothing at all. Sounds stupid. But it is precisely for this that we unconsciously push your child every time you protect it from any obstacles to. Making mistakes, children learn to analyze them, use this experience in the future. Do not do for them what they can themselves. Constantly excluding the risk of the child's life, we deprive it with the opportunity to grow up.

Psychological support of the child

Psychological support is one of the most important factors capable of improving the relationship between children and adults. With a lack or absence of adequate support, the child is disappointed and prone to various misconduct.

Psychological support is a process:

In which an adult focuses on the positive sides and the benefits of the child in order to strengthen its self-esteem;

Who helps the child to believe in itself and their abilities;

Which helps the child to avoid mistakes;

Which supports the child with failures.

In order to learn how to keep the child, teachers and parents, you may have to change the usual style of communication and interaction with it. Instead of paying attention primarily for mistakes and bad behavior of a child, an adult will have to focus on the positive side of his actions and the promotion of what he does.

Keep a child – so believe in it . Verbally and non-verbally parent informs the child that believes in his strength and ability. The child needs support not only when he is bad, but then when he is good.

We emphasize once again: an adult, seeking to support the child, considers not only events (act) as a whole, but also tries to allocate individual, positive parties for a child. Support is based on faith in the inborn ability of the person to overcome the vital difficulties with the support of those whom it reads significant for themselves.

In order to support the child, parents and teachers themselves must experience confidence, they will not be able to support the child until they learn to take themselves and do not achieve self-esteem and confidence.

An adult must be understood as the role of psychological support in the process of education and know that by providing her, he himself, without knowing, can disappoint a child, saying to him, for example, the following: "You could not get it!", "You could be And career! "," Look how your brother did it well! "," You had to look when I did! " As a rule, negative comments of parents do not have actions. Permanent reproaches of the type "You could do it better" lead a child to the conclusion: "What is the point of trying? Anyway, I can't. I can never satisfy them. I give up".

Adults must learn how to help the child, see the natural imperfection of a person and have a matter with him. For this, adults should know what power at school, family, kindergarten, in a wider environment of the child can lead to disappointment. According to many psychologists, those forces are:

1. Illuminated demands of parents.

2. Rivalry of brothers and sisters (Siblingov).

3. Excessive ambitions of the child.

The overestimated demands of the parents to the child will make it impossible to succeed and quite likely disappointment. For example, if parents first expected the child in kindergarten "most capable", then they expect from him the same in school; A child who knows how to tumble good, want to see a good gymnast in the future.

As for the brothers and sisters, parents may unintently oppose children to each other by comparing the brilliant successes of one with the pale achievements of the other. Such rivalry can lead to cruel disappointment and destroy good relationships before.

Excessive ambitions affect the behavior of the child. Excessiveness of ambitions clearly manifests itself, for example, in cases where the child, poorly playing some kind of game, refuses to take part in it. Often a child who cannot stand out through something positive, begins to behave defiantly negatively or turns into a "stone on the neck" of the whole class.

How to support a child?

There are false ways, the so-called "support traps". So, typical of parents for parents supporting the child are a hyperopka, creating a child's dependence on adult, imposing unreal standards, stimulating rivalry with siblings and peers. These methods only lead to the experiences of the child, prevent the normal development of his personality.

Once again we repeat: genuine support for adults to the child should be based on emphasizing his abilities, opportunities - its positive parties. It happens that the behavior of the child does not like the adult. It is at such moments that he must extremely clearly show the child that "although I do not approve your behavior, I still respect you as a person." For example, if the child fails to behave as the teacher would like, it was the teacher who should help the child to understand why this is happening. It is important that the child understand that its failure may result from the lack of readiness or ability to behave accordingly. It is necessary to show the child that his failure in no way detracts his personal advantages. It is important that the adult learned to take a child as it is, including all its achievements and misses, and in communicating with it to take into account the knowledge of such things as tone, gestures, etc.

In order to provide a child psychological support, an adult should use those in words that work on the development of the I-Concept and the feeling of adequacy of the child. During the day, adults have a lot of opportunities to create a sense of their own utility and adequacy. One way is to demonstrate to the child your satisfaction from its achievements or effort. Another way - to teach the child to cope with various tasks. This can be achieved by creating a child with a child: "You can do it."

Even if the child does not quite successfully cope with something, an adult should give him to understand that his feelings in relation to the child did not change. The following statements may be useful:

It would be very nice to watch what is happening.

Even if something happened not as you wanted, it was a good lesson for you.

We are all people, and we all make mistakes, in the end, correcting our mistakes, you also study.

Thus, the adult will rather learn how to help the child achieve self-confidence. According to the expression of one of the parents, it is like the vaccination of the child from failure and misfortune.

A central role in the development of a child's confidence in himself plays, as already noted, faith parents and teachers in the child. The parent must show the child that he is an important family member and means more for her than all the problems associated with it. The teacher is that the child needs and respected member of the group, class.

Adults are often focused on past failures and use them against a child. Examples of such estimation are approval types:
"When you had a dog, you forgot to feed her when you were engaged in music, you threw the lessons after 4 weeks, so I don't think that it makes sense now to do dancing." Such an emphasis may produce a feeling of persecution in a child. The child can decide: "There is no possibility to change my reputation, so let me consider bad things."

In order to show faith in a child, an adult must have courage and a desire to do the following:

Forget about past child failures;

Help the child to gain confidence that he will cope with this task;

Allow the child to start from scratch, relying on the fact that adults believe in him, in his ability to achieve success;

Remember about past luck and return to them, and not to errors.

It is very important to take care of creating a child with a guaranteed success. Perhaps it will require an adult to change the requirements for the child, but it is worth it. For example, at the Pedagogical Council, the teacher may propose to specifically create such a situation that will help develop a sense of adequacy and self-relief from a student. He can help the schoolboy to choose those tasks with whom he, from the point of view of the teacher, can cope and then give him the opportunity to demonstrate his success to the class and parents. Success generates success and strengthens confidence in their forces of both the child and in an adult.

So, in order to support the child, it is necessary:

1. Repeat on the strengths of the child.

2. Avoid underscounted by the misses of the child.

3. Show you are satisfied with the child.

4. Be able and want to demonstrate love and respect for the child.

5. Be able to help the child break great tasks for smaller, those with which he can cope.

6. Conduct more time with the child.

7. Make humor in relationship with the child.

8. To know about all attempts to a child to cope with the task.

9. To be able to interact with the child.

10. Allow the child to solve the problems where it is possible.

11. Avoid disciplinary incentives and punishments.

12. Take the child's personality.

13. Show faith in a child, empathy for him.

14. Show optimism.

There are words that support the child, and the words that destroy his faith in themselves.

For example, words support:

Knowing you, I'm sure you will do everything well.

You make it very good.

You have some considerations about this. Are you ready to start?

This is a serious challenge, but I am sure you are ready for him.

Words of disappointment:

Knowing you and your abilities, I think you could do it much better.

You could do it much better.

This idea can never be implemented.

It is too difficult for you, so I will do it myself.

Adults often confuse support with praise and reward. Praise may be, and maybe not to be support. For example, too generous praise may seem like a child insincere. In another case, she can support a child who is afraid that he does not meet the expectations of adults.

Psychological support is based on helping the child to feel their need. The difference between support and award is determined by time and effect. The award is usually issued to a child for making something very well, or for some of its achievements during a certain period of time. Support, unlike praise, can be provided with any attempt or low progress.

When I am pleased to make a child, it supports it and stimulates to continue the case or make new attempts. He enjoys himself.

You can maintain: separate words ("beautiful", "carefully", "fine", "great", "forward", "continue"); statements ("I am proud of you", "I like how you work", "it is really progress", "I'm glad to your help", "Thank you", "Everything goes well," "Good, thank you," "I'm glad that you participated in it "," I'm glad you tried to do it, although everything turned out at all as you expected "); Touching (sweating on the shoulder; touch the hand to hand; to gently raise the chin of the child; bring your face to his face; hug it); Joint actions, physical complicity (sit, stand next to the child; to keep it gently; play with him; listen to him; there is with him); Facial expressions (smile, wink, nod, laughter).

Development of effective communication style

Very often adults, communicating with children, seek to compete with them.
Adult can think: "It is important for me to insisted on your". Such a philosophy would be useful to replace with the understanding that "the real winner is the one who can treat other people." The barriers between the adult and the child will collapse, will increase the feeling of their own utility, the need, the relationship in the family, the school will noticeably improve.

The proposed adult and child communication style is based on mutual respect. Mutual respect implies that both are both a child and an adult
- Let each other honestly and openly express feelings and thoughts, without fear of being incomprehensible and rejected.

Effective communication is: the adoption of the partner reports; accepting his feelings; Refusal to condemn partner.

In other words, we must show the interlocutor, which we understand his thoughts and feelings. Remember that you can and disagree with the child, but you are able to take it feelings. Adoption can be demonstrated by tone and appropriate words. The formation of this style of communication requires patience and practice. This also includes mastering such a skill of communication as
"Reflective hearing and message."

What is a reflexive hearing?

The reflexive hearing is an important skill of communication due to the fact that we cannot send your thoughts and feelings directly to the interlocutor. We must use the code: words, tone, gestures, poses, etc. As a listener, we interpret messages with a greater or lesser degree of accuracy. In order to understand the message as accurate as possible, it is useful to apply one of the skills you need to communicate - feedback.
Feedback There is nothing but a message about what you heard. In turn, the interlocutor can say: "Yes, that's what I meant" or "No, I didn't mean that. I will try to explain again. "
These components - messages, feedback and verification of confirmation - make up the feedback process.

"Sender" - message - "Recipient"

- FEEDBACK -

- Confirmation - in the effectiveness of the reflexive hearing and using the feedback process, you can make sure that the following example.

Mother heard her son, returning from school, said: "What a bad day! The teacher was angry at me and called the lie for the fact that I forgot to bring homework. She screamed at me! Here is a note from it. "

In order to check how correctly she understood the Son, and in order to make sure that he is really upset by a school incident, the mother can say: "It seems you have a terrible day today." This will serve as a son with a signal, did the mother understand what he wanted to say. In this case, the mother understood the Son correctly and he says: "You can repeat it again." This time mother, thinking, says: "Probably terrible ashamed when you scream in front of the whole class. The child, in turn, agrees: "Of course I am ashamed and I feel very bad." Further conversation may look like this:

MOTHER. I am ready to argue that you will go and offended by her criticism.

SON. Yes! Just like I am ready to argue that she happened to forget anything and, perhaps, no one "Kleval" for that.

MOTHER. Most of us think exactly when someone hurts us.

SON. Well, it is somewhat soothing.

This example clearly shows that the reflexive hearing with feedback contributes to clarifying and understanding the problem, finding a solution.
If the feedback cannot be installed, misunderstanding, irritation and frustration occur.

Of great importance for mastering the skill of the reflexive hearing is to understand the difference between the closed and open response. A closed answer shows that an adult either does not hear and understands the child, or prefers to ignore his story. In other words, he limits the message.

An open answer indicates that an adult hears the child and is interested in what he says about. Open answers stimulate the child to continue their story. In addition, open answers reflect the feelings of the child behind his story.

Open answers can be distributed in the following categories:

"Starters"; "I understand", "oh-oh", "Mmm", "I would like to learn more about it," "Tell me something else."

Silence: Do not say anything, but all your views demonstrate interest in conversation.

Open questions instead of closed issues.

Open questions are designed not to simply inform an adult about anything, but to help the child clarify his problems. On the contrary, the closed questions in their essence are approaching the management of the statement and they can only be answered by "yes" or "no". The difference between open and closed questions is easier to understand on a specific example.

Open question: "Could you tell me what happened today at school?" Or "How do you feel about what friends ignore you?"

A closed question: "Have you had a good day today?" Or "Are you angry with your girlfriend for not noting you?"

The reflexive hearing requires parents and teachers understanding the diversity of the child's feelings and the ability to establish emotional contact with him. As a result, the child feels that he is listening and seeking to continue the conversation.

The reflexive hearing involves certain attitudes and forms of behavior. First of all, it is a general installation of an adult in relation to the child: "I worry about you, and I am interested in everything that happens to you and what you are doing," as well as verbal and non-verbal forms of behavior, as if talking to the child: "I listen to you" .

Installations and feelings necessary for the implementation of the reflexive hearing include:

The desire to listen to the child and understanding that it will take some time;

Desire to help this particular child;

Adoption of both negative and positive feelings of a child;

Recognition that the feelings of a child are his true feelings;

Attitude towards a child as an independent person with his individual identity and feelings;

Deep conviction in the ability of a child to manage their feelings, overcome them and find a decision;

Understanding that feelings are transient, not constant, and the expression of negative feelings has its ultimate goal to help the child to end them.

Required for reflexive hearing forms of behavior:

Non-verbal:

Summary contact: Look at the child with whom you are talking, but do not drill it with a look;

Gesture language, natural and free poses;

VerbalStimulating the child to continue the story and helping him to understand what has been said:

Feedback, allowing the child to learn your interpretation of what he said;

Reflection of feelings;

Warnings:

1. Know when using a reflexive hearing.

It is most effective in cases where the child has a problem and you have enough time to solve it.

2. Know when you should not use a reflective hearing.

If you like a teacher or parent feel that the child does not accept you or repels, you do not need to try to apply this method, in this case it will not bring success.

3. Develop your ability to listen. Practice will make a "reflective hearing" everyday and familiar to you. Do not be afraid of disappointments, try again.

4. Make sure that at first it will not be easy to use the "reflective listening".

Mastering by any new skill first is always accompanied by a sense of uncertainty. This is true for a reflective hearing.

5. Try to combine other interpersonal skills with a reflective hearing.

Use a reflexive hearing in combination with the study of alternatives, determining who "belongs" to this problem, etc.

We know that many specialists of the guardianship bodies give great importance to the first meeting with the child, and sometimes it is the criterion for the success of the selection. If the child is coming to contact with candidates, then adoption can be made.

Learn to watch what the child is capable of and how he behaves.

It must be not passive or distracted awareness or care. Actively watching and listening - it means to really pay attention to the fact that the child says and does what is trying to do what has already been learned, but as long as its ability or understanding. Observation will help you to evaluate how the child is developing, to notice one or other failures in time, problems in his behavior.

If your child behaves, in your opinion, is unacceptable, try to quietly approach the solution of this problem. Think what your child can feel, what makes him behave like this: unhappy, scared, angry, confused, feels rejected, unnecessary, unloved? What do you think the cause of his feelings?

Asking a child why he behaves like this, you are unlikely to get an intelligible answer, as the child will either defend themselves, or can not explain anything, or say anything, so that they do not stick to him.

You will have to guess myself about the reasons.

What can you do to help your child feel better?

Try to distinguish the identity of the child and his behavior.

Remember: There are no bad children, but there is unacceptable behavior. Evaluate try not a person, but a deed, business, behavior. Do not say: "You are a good boy, a girl," better tell me what you liked in his behavior. "I liked how you neatly folded toys", "Thank you, helped me to get out", or "I didn't like that you scattered our belongings", thus avoiding general estimated judgments: "You are good", or "you are a good" , Fix the child's attention on the specific results of his actions, actions.

It is very important in communicating with the child to pay attention to the slightest achievements, success, good words, actions, so that he believes in a good attitude of adults. As possible, express the approval of the child's desired behavior. This is necessary for self-affirmation and strengthening faith in itself.

Install the rules understandable i.

All children need discipline. It helps children stay in reasonable borders and raises self-esteem, helping the child to meet the expectations of others.

Control over behavior can help build a trust relationship between you and the adoptive child, especially if the controls are used to support, and not for punishment. Punishment is usually used to fit the indignation of adults, but it does not teach a child with a new, useful behavior that can replace unwanted.

The reaction to negative manifestations in behavior should be neutral or emotional. Try to exclude facial expressions on your face, avoid contact with your eyes, stay silent. Children sometimes make bad actions with the sole purpose - to achieve adult attention at any cost. Therefore, in such a situation, let him feel the absence of your attention he so costs, and let him make sure that the best way to earn trust is to behave well. If the child guessed, it is necessary to emphasize that he himself caused discontent, and his behavior, a deed: "I like you, but I don't like your behavior." Then the child will know what they love him, and strive to avoid disapproval.

It is completely unacceptable to leave a child one or ignore - he might think that he was rejected. The most important thing in this situation is to convey for a child that you understand and accept its negative feelings, but do not approve bad behavior. This does not mean that the child is "praised" for unacceptable actions, but quite exactly that the smaller the child deserves love, the more he needs it.

Do not compare your child with other children.

All adults and every child is a unique person. Each has its own pace and development plan. You can not compare different children, you can only compare with yourself - today I did better or worse than yesterday. Take a child as it is, he is unique.

Do not strive to make it better than it is. Your ideals may not be forces. Worst of all of the very bad in the upbringing is to predict the child that nothing will come out of it or that he has a bad character, not like another child's child.

Pay constant attention to the child.

Communicating with him, try to be with him on the same level so that he should not have to look at you from below. Talking with the child, more often squeeze in front of him so that the communication takes place "eyes in the eyes." Keep closer to the child, try not to raise your voice. Listen carefully to the child, at the same time look at him, eyes and facial expressive to his words. Use the reception of the reflected hearing, confirming its feelings by repeating what you heard. If the child says he does not like to remove toys, you can respond: "I see that you do not like to clean the toys ..." But at the same time, avoid to evaluate the words and actions of the child.

Help help, maintain at the right moment

If the child begins a new business, we must try to create favorable conditions for success and anticipate possible difficulties. For example, when he wants to learn to climb through an obstacle, unnoticed; Trying to catch the ball, choose such a distance so that he can do it.

In the course of activity, encourage the child and reinforce its actions by praise to achieve the goal. It is important to immediately hold a child through success than reacting then to its failures and expect that it will learn about errors. Success creates confidence and the desire is still so or better to do. There is no noise - fucking hunting sometimes for a long time, if not forever. Think about how you act in case of failure: console or offer to try again; To postpone for a while failed, and then with a favorable situation, return to it.

Try to raise your child in the situation of choosing and making your own decision.

In a selection situation, it can be achieved so that the child does what I didn't want to do first, for example, if you need it to eat porridge, and he does not want it, ask: "Do you put five porridge porridges or seven?" But do not propose the choice where it is not. If you need to go for a walk Do not ask: "Will you go for a walk or stay at home?" Ask better: "Where will we walk with you - on a pond or in the park?" Support if he offers his walking option.

Do not give promises that you will not be able to perform. Every time you keep the word you.

Tell your child that you will do everything possible to perform it, but do not promise anything in categorical form. If for some reason the promise was not fulfilled, explain with the child so that he realize that adults can also be mistaken.

Scheme of behavior management

Clear, available rules

An example of proper behavior

Attention to the child

Praise and support

Sequence in the actions

Prevent problems

Clarification of the consequences of the child

Of course, every beautiful girl wishes on the day of the wedding celebration look exquisitely, gorgeous, fashionable and modern. But in order to become the most modern bride, you need to have an excellent taste, as well as know all the trends in the wedding fashion.

In this girls will be able to help catalogs of outfits, which are presented in the most famous online stores. If you carefully view the 2014 fashion news, it is easy to understand that the main trend is simplicity and naturalness in the image of the bride. Among the most interesting and original new products are highlighted long narrow wedding Dresseswhich, as you know, were in fashion in the 19th century. Nevertheless, in modern interpretation from such elegant models, it can be unique notice of "retro".

Straight cut, a small number of exquisite decor, as well as the cutout boat - today it looks like a fashionable and stylish wedding dress. If the bride strives to be more feminine, then it is necessary to pay attention to the popular Mermaid style this year. However, it should be remembered that it is not very comfortable to move in such an outfit, and therefore it can be used only in the official part of the marriage. The tiles of such a style skirt can begin directly from the knee line.