The media claim that every year 26 million arranged marriages take place in the world, and 80% of them end in a happy ending. At the same time, no one specifies what exactly is meant - the bride’s forced consent to marry a man whom she sees for the first time in her life, or escaping from the groom’s house and an inevitable scandal. We have collected several stories of different girls who were forced into marriage or tried to do so. Decide for yourself which of them is happier.

Patimat, 27 years old, Makhachkala: “I don’t need a diploma now!”

Journalist Khava Khasmagarova spoke with Caucasian women who were forced to marry against their will.

I got married at twenty-one. Before that, I studied Spanish and English, planned to get a diploma with honors and dreamed of living in Spain. I didn’t think about marriage at all and didn’t even know that my parents had already agreed with the family of my future husband.

One day in June I came home after tutoring.. Mom asked what my plans were, I replied that I needed to learn new material. She said: “Okay, when you finish, go to the wedding salons, choose your dress.” And then I found out that I was getting married in August. For the first five minutes I was silent, I was in shock, then I started getting hysterical. I screamed, didn’t believe it, asked again, thought that maybe I had misunderstood and the wedding would be in a year.

I didn’t see my husband before the wedding. It turned out that he was nine years older than me, a good person, an ordinary man. He is not rich, I can’t think that his parents were flattered by the money of their husband’s family.

At first I was offended by my mother. I didn’t understand how she could do this to me, because all our friends and relatives know her as a woman of modern views, who never forbade me from doing anything, and paid for tutors. After some time, I fell into apathy and everything became indifferent to me, I did not resist, did not try to fight.

We already have two children. I became an ordinary Dagestan housewife, I sit with the children and am completely immersed in the family. I got married in the fourth year, in the fifth I was already pregnant - of course, I closed the sessions, passed all the final exams, but did not receive the diploma itself. He is of no use to me now.

Alisa, 22 years old, St. Petersburg: “We already have servants!”

The story of a St. Petersburg woman of Lebanese origin was told by the portal Life.ru

My mother is Russian, my father is Lebanese. When they were getting divorced, the court left my brother with my dad, and me with my mom. I lived with my mother in St. Petersburg until I was 14 years old: I studied, hung out with friends, did dancing, volleyball, and athletics.

My mother didn't do much with me. She asked if I wanted to go to Lebanon. Here I had a modest family, and my dad had three cafes and a good financial situation, so I really wanted to spend my holidays with him in Lebanon, where there is sun and sea. Mom and dad signed papers saying that I would live in Lebanon for a year.

My father’s family forbade me to even go outside - only accompanied by my brother. When my stepmother gave birth, I took care of the whole house. The entire apartment had to be cleaned by ten in the morning. By twelve o'clock breakfast for the whole family had to be ready. One day my stepmother asked my dad: “Should we get a servant?” And dad answered her: “Why should we have a servant if we have our own white servant?”

One day I was sitting at home, my younger sister ran in and said: “The groom is coming to see you now!” After which dad comes up and says: “Dress normally, a friend will come to see me. Make coffee, bring out fruit, sit with us, this is a sign of respect for my friend!” A man came and looked at me, I did everything as dad said. For two weeks he came to us every day. Three weeks later, my dad announced that this was my future husband and I was getting engaged in a week.

A year later we got married. I was 16 years old and he was 32. The wedding was very magnificent and beautiful. But at that moment, when they put on my wedding dress, I realized that today was the day when everything collapsed. And when we danced a slow dance, I couldn’t stand it and started crying.

For me, the night after the wedding was a nightmare. I then considered myself a child, in front of me was a man 16 years older than me, and I had to do something that I didn’t want. And the worst thing is that on the morning after the first wedding night, all the relatives came to check that everything had happened and that I really was innocent. Dad reproached me all the time and didn’t trust me. This marriage was very beneficial for him from a financial point of view - my husband had a chain of stores.

When I called my dad, I told him that my husband was pushing me, kicking me, that he threw me out of bed, he answered: “You’re lying, you’re as much a liar as your mother!” Although I even showed him the bruises. One day my husband came home and saw that I had lipstick on, began to ask where I had been, who I had seen, overturned all the food on the table, and began to reproach me that a thousand men had passed through me. Then for the first time I allowed myself to answer him. I told him that he should be ashamed because he knows that he is my first and only man. I began to feel terrible depression, I lost up to 40 kg.

I saved up money for a ticket to St. Petersburg and thought of everything. I asked my husband for permission to go to my mother for three days and said that I missed her very much. He gave me a gift for my birthday. I collected all my things, all my gold, everything valuable. The day I boarded the plane, it was an indescribable feeling. I understood that I would never return to this country again.

My father told me that either I come back, and then he divorces me from my husband, buys me an apartment, a car. Or I stay here and the whole family abandons me. “And even if you die, I will not help you. I could easily just kill you now and I wouldn’t be ashamed,” he told me. Of course, I didn't leave with him. The husband got married there two weeks later, and within a month his new wife became pregnant.

Ainura, 41 years old, Bishkek: “Two guys jumped out of the car and pushed me into the car!”

There is a similar custom in Kyrgyzstan. According to human rights activists, 12 thousand girls are kidnapped in the republic every year to force them into marriage. This custom is called “ala kachuu,” which translated from Kyrgyz means “grab and run.”

I was born and raised in Frunze (present-day Bishkek). Of course, I heard about brides being stolen. But I thought that this happens either in the film “Prisoner of the Caucasus”, or in distant, distant villages. It never occurred to me that they could steal me.

I don't like to remember that story. I was 19 years old, I was leaving the university. My boyfriend Dauren usually met me, but a week before we had a fight. A car stopped near me, and some completely unfamiliar guy offered me a ride. Naturally, I refused. The car drove slowly nearby. I repeat, I did not think that I could be stolen, and I was not at all alarmed - especially since it was daytime and there were a lot of people around. But when I turned into my lane, two guys jumped out of the car, grabbed me and pushed me into the car. I screamed, bit, and couldn’t understand anything.

I was brought to a huge country house, where there were some elderly women. They put a scarf on me and said that I was a matchmaker, showing the “groom”. He turned out to be a distant relative of my parents' friends. We met at some kind of holiday, and I didn’t remember him at all, but he, it turns out, “fell in love.”

I was not raped, beaten, insulted, I was simply locked on the second floor. I waited until night fell and everyone in the house fell asleep. I tied up the sheets and used them to climb down from the second floor window. And then she ran wherever she could. Fortunately, I was taken not very far from the city. So I got home about three hours later...

I rang the doorbell of my own apartment, my mother opened it for me... And then the worst thing began. Mom told me to go back. That I was kidnapped, I spent the night in the “groom’s” house and now I’m disgraced, so no one will ask me to get married anymore. And this family is very wealthy, and the guy, they say, is good, and what else, stupid, do I need.

I turned around and left, called my friend and explained everything. Her father came for me and took me to his home. From there I called my Dauren. He immediately arrived, called my mother and said that he would marry me. Dauren's relatives are modern people, and no one has ever reproached me. Now Dauren and I have three children. Fortunately, all sons. And I don't have to worry about someone stealing my daughter.

Marina, 35 years old, Moscow: “They practically threw me under my parents’ feet!”

And again the stories recorded by Khava Khasmagarova.

I am from Buinaksk, but I entered the university in Makhachkala. I met a young man, we were dating, only my cousins ​​knew about it. We already talked about the wedding, although he was a Dargin and I was a Lezgin, but this did not bother us.

My uncle found out about our relationship. He came with his sons, and they beat me for what they considered inappropriate behavior. I had a broken nose, a couple of ribs, and a broken head. When they finished beating me, I was lying exhausted on the floor, on the carpet. They just wrapped me in this carpet, put me in the car and took me home. There they threw me practically at my parents’ feet.

I was not given any medical assistance; instead, there was a scandal, everyone was screaming. They locked me at home and didn’t let me go anywhere. I tried to open my veins with a tin lid from the lemonade they brought me, after which they wouldn’t leave me alone. I lived like this for a month - during this time, it turns out, they found a groom for me. My mother began to tell me that I had disgraced the family, that my brother would not be able to look people in the eye, and no one would marry my sister, and the only way to fix everything was marriage. I started to believe it myself.

The husband was a simple man from a small town, he treated me well, which I cannot say about his mother. She humiliated me in every possible way, insulted me, and entrusted me with the most difficult and dirty work. I lived like this for two years.

In the end I decided to run away. I left the house in the old clothes I wore at home, threw my coat on top, and told my mother-in-law that I was going to the store. I had some money that I hid, I hid my passport in my bra and went to the bus station. From there I went to the Stavropol Territory, where I called my old friend and asked her to buy me a plane ticket to Moscow. At first I lived with a friend, then I found a job. gradually rose to her feet.

I don’t keep in touch with my family because my mother forbade my family to communicate with me. She believes that I have disgraced my family and that there is no way back for me. The only person who communicates with me is my younger sister. To be honest, I'm not worried about this. In general, I don’t want to remember my past; the thought of going to Dagestan does not arise to me. I don't even want to think about it.

Zara, 50 years old, Grozny: “My father regretted that he gave me away by force!”

When I was a teenager, I decided for myself that I would marry whoever my father chose for me. Because my sister was married several times, each time for love, but the relationship did not work out. I decided that it would be better to leave according to my father’s will. But in reality everything turned out differently.

I had been dating a young man for two years at that time. My mother knew about this, knew his family, because that guy's father was friends with my father. One evening my mother came up to me and said that I was marrying another man. It turned out that my father gave his word to another friend that he would marry me to his son. My father did not talk to me about my personal life; no father talks to his daughters about this.

My young man, when he found out that they were going to marry me to someone else, came to my work with friends to steal me. Then I worked in a store. I told him that if they kidnap me now, I would never tell my relatives that I wanted to marry him. Because when a girl is kidnapped in marriage, all the relatives get involved, this can cause a scandal and even enmity. I asked him to give me the opportunity to persuade my father and resolve this issue peacefully. I really thought that I could convince my father. I hoped that my mother would be able to influence him, that she would say that I was dating so and so and that my father would allow me to marry him. But he said: “I already gave my word.” There was no turning back.

When I came home from work, my family and the family of my future husband already knew that that they wanted to kidnap me and they wouldn’t let me go to work anymore. My father forbade me to leave the house at all before the wedding. They began to prepare for the wedding at an accelerated pace, and on the third day after that incident I got married. The wedding dress, trousseau - everything was bought in three days, because I wasn’t getting married, I didn’t buy anything in advance.

On the day when they officially came to marry me relatives of my future husband, I locked myself in my room and didn’t open the door to anyone. My sister knocked and said that the guy I was dating had come. I went outside, and he really was there. He wished me happiness in my marriage, said goodbye and left.

After I realized that I would still marry the one to whom my father gave his word, I it was no longer important. I had no choice. I know that my father later regretted that he gave me away by force. Maybe even more than me. He believed that it was not necessary to do this, he said that he felt sorry for me because of the way he treated me. Plus, he knew that my mother-in-law was a difficult person.

I had no time to worry about being married anymore. because my husband’s family had a big house, and I immediately plunged into troubles. Then the children left. You get used to it after some time. The thought of leaving does not arise, especially when children are already born. You live for your children.

In Kazakhstan, young girls continue to be stolen and forced into marriage. Khabar agency journalist Baurzhan Orda posted the corresponding video on his Facebook page.

The video shows a young girl being forced to wear a headscarf. The girl breaks free and screams, but the man and woman manage to throw a headdress over her, after which she calms down.

Baurzhan Orda said he received the video via WhatsApp messenger and could not establish where and when it was filmed. The Dozhd TV channel asked journalists to explain what was happening in the video.

According to him, putting on a headscarf is one of the stages of the ritual that begins with the abduction of the bride: putting on a headscarf means that the girl has come to terms with the fact that she is being forced into marriage. One of the elements of the ritual is “shoshu”: the girl is showered with sweets.

Dozhd journalist Kogershyn Sagiyeva says that the kidnapping scenario may differ in different cities and villages. Sagiyeva notes that, judging by the conversations in the video, the girl and the guy knew each other before, but this could have been a casual or even correspondence acquaintance. The girl could accidentally be visiting or she could be lured into the apartment by deception; a girl and a guy could be in a relationship, and their relatives could decide to organize their wedding.

“If the bride, after putting on a scarf, still refuses the wedding, then both she and her family are considered disgraced. And even if it is not possible to put a scarf on the girl, then they include the final option - the “apashka”, the eldest woman in the family, falls across the threshold. If If the stolen bride crosses her, then it’s definitely a shame for the whole family of the stolen bride. However, it also happens that the girl’s relatives don’t give a damn about such “traditions,” and then they go to destroy the “groom’s” house,” Kazakh journalist Maxim Kalach told Dozhd.

“After putting on a headscarf, there is no turning back. At least, if she refuses marriage, the girl will never have any relationship with this guy and his family. In some villages, after refusing a forced wedding, the girl will never be able to get married at all. Perhaps , she values ​​her relationship with her “fiancé,” despite the kidnapping and violence,” Sagiyeva said.

A girl from Kazakhstan is forcibly married off/Youtube video

Journalist Olzhas Kozhakhmet notes that this tradition is perceived as ancient, but in fact appeared recently: “This practice really existed in our steppes, but this was done by guys who did not have the means to pay the bride price, because matchmaking is a truly ancient custom.” .

Let us remind you that it took place in Grozny: the head of the police department entered into a marriage with a 17-year-old girl. The marriage of the 47-year-old head of the police department with a minor caused a huge resonance even before its conclusion.

The media claim that every year 26 million arranged marriages take place in the world, and 80% of them end in a happy ending. At the same time, no one specifies what exactly is meant - the bride’s forced consent to marry a man whom she sees for the first time in her life, or escaping from the groom’s house and an inevitable scandal. The popular portal Daily has collected several stories of different girls who were forced into marriage or tried to do so. Decide for yourself which of them is happier.

Patimat, 27 years old, Makhachkala: “I don’t need a diploma now!”

Journalist Khava Khasmagarova spoke with Caucasian women who were forced to marry against their will.

I got married at twenty-one. Before that, I studied Spanish and English, planned to get a diploma with honors and dreamed of living in Spain. I didn’t think about marriage at all and didn’t even know that my parents had already agreed with the family of my future husband.

One day in June I came home after tutoring. Mom asked what my plans were, I replied that I needed to learn new material. She said: “Okay, when you finish, go to the wedding salons, choose your dress.” And then I found out that I was getting married in August. For the first five minutes I was silent, I was in shock, then I started getting hysterical. I screamed, didn’t believe it, asked again, thought that maybe I had misunderstood and the wedding would be in a year.

I didn’t see my husband before the wedding. It turned out that he was nine years older than me, a good person, an ordinary man. He is not rich, I can’t think that his parents were flattered by the money of their husband’s family.

At first I was offended by my mother. I didn’t understand how she could do this to me, because all our friends and relatives know her as a woman of modern views, who never forbade me from doing anything, and paid for tutors. After some time, I fell into apathy and everything became indifferent to me, I did not resist, did not try to fight.

We already have two children. I became an ordinary Dagestan housewife, I look after the children and am completely immersed in the family. I got married in the fourth year, in the fifth I was already pregnant - of course, I closed the sessions, passed all the final exams, but did not receive the diploma itself. He is of no use to me now.

Alisa, 22 years old, St. Petersburg: “We already have servants!”

The story of a St. Petersburg woman of Lebanese origin was told by the Life.ru portal.

My mother is Russian, my father is Lebanese. When they were getting divorced, the court left my brother with my dad, and me with my mom. I lived with my mother in St. Petersburg until I was 14 years old: I studied, hung out with friends, did dancing, volleyball, and athletics.

My mother didn't do much with me. She asked if I wanted to go to Lebanon. Here I had a modest family, and my dad had three cafes and a good financial situation, so I really wanted to spend my holidays with him in Lebanon, where there is sun and sea. Mom and dad signed papers saying that I would live in Lebanon for a year.

My father's family forbade me to even go outside - only accompanied by my brother. When my stepmother gave birth, I took care of the whole house. The entire apartment had to be cleaned by ten in the morning. By twelve o'clock breakfast for the whole family had to be ready. One day my stepmother asked my dad: “Should we get a servant?” And dad answered her: “Why should we have a servant if we have our own white servant?”

One day I was sitting at home, my younger sister ran in and said: “The groom is coming to see you now!” After which dad comes up and says: “Dress normally, a friend will come to see me. Make coffee, bring out fruit, sit with us, this is a sign of respect for my friend!” A man came and looked at me, I did everything as dad said. For two weeks he came to us every day. Three weeks later, my dad announced that this was my future husband and I was getting engaged in a week.

A year later we got married. I was 16 years old and he was 32. The wedding was very magnificent and beautiful. But at that moment, when they put on my wedding dress, I realized that today was the day when everything collapsed. And when we danced a slow dance, I couldn’t stand it and started crying.

For me, the night after the wedding was a nightmare. I then considered myself a child, in front of me was a man 16 years older than me, and I had to do something that I didn’t want. And the worst thing is that on the morning after the first wedding night, all the relatives came to check that everything had happened and that I really was innocent. Dad reproached me all the time and didn’t trust me. This marriage was very beneficial for him from a financial point of view - my husband had a chain of stores.

When I called my dad and told him that my husband was pushing me, kicking me, that he threw me out of bed, he answered: “You’re lying, you’re a liar like your mother!” Although I even showed him the bruises. One day my husband came home and saw that I had lipstick on, began to ask where I had been, who I had seen, overturned all the food on the table, and began to reproach me that a thousand men had passed through me. Then for the first time I allowed myself to answer him. I told him that he should be ashamed because he knows that he is my first and only man. I began to feel terrible depression, I lost up to 40 kg.

I saved up money for a ticket to St. Petersburg and thought of everything. I asked my husband for permission to go to my mother for three days and said that I missed her very much. He gave me a gift for my birthday. I collected all my things, all my gold, everything valuable. The day I boarded the plane, it was an indescribable feeling. I understood that I would never return to this country again.

My father told me that I was coming back, and then he divorced me from my husband, bought me an apartment, a car. Or I stay here and the whole family abandons me. “And even if you die, I will not help you. I can easily just kill you now and I won’t be ashamed,” he told me. Of course, I didn’t go to them. The husband got married there two weeks later, and within a month his new wife became pregnant.

Ainura, 41 years old, Bishkek: “Two guys jumped out of the car and pushed me into the car!”

There is a similar custom in Kyrgyzstan. According to human rights activists, 12 thousand girls are kidnapped in the republic every year to force them into marriage. This custom is called “ala kachuu,” which translated from Kyrgyz means “grab and run.”

I was born and raised in Frunze (present-day Bishkek). Of course, I heard about brides being stolen. But I thought that this happens either in the film “Prisoner of the Caucasus”, or in distant, distant villages. It never occurred to me that they could steal me.

I don't like to remember that story. I was 19 years old, I was leaving the university. My boyfriend Dauren usually met me, but a week before we had a fight. A car stopped near me, and some completely unfamiliar guy offered me a ride. Naturally, I refused. The car drove slowly nearby. I repeat, I did not think that I could be stolen, and I was not at all alarmed - especially since it was daytime and there were a lot of people around. But when I turned into my lane, two guys jumped out of the car, grabbed me and pushed me into the car. I screamed, bit, and couldn’t understand anything.

I was taken to a huge country house where there were some elderly women. They put a scarf on me and said that I was a matchmaker, showing the “groom”. He turned out to be a distant relative of my parents' friends. We met at some kind of holiday, and I didn’t remember him at all, but he, it turns out, “fell in love.”

I was not raped, beaten, insulted, I was simply locked on the second floor. I waited until night fell and everyone in the house fell asleep. I tied up the sheets and used them to climb down from the second floor window. And then she ran wherever she could. Fortunately, I was taken not very far from the city. So I got home about three hours later...

I rang the doorbell of my own apartment, my mother opened it for me... And then the worst thing began. Mom told me to go back. That I was kidnapped, I spent the night in the “groom’s” house and now I’m disgraced, so no one will ask me to get married anymore. And this family is very wealthy, and the guy, they say, is good, and what else, stupid, do I need.

I turned around and left, called my friend and explained everything. Her father came for me and took me to his home. From there I called my Dauren. He immediately arrived, called my mother and said that he would marry me. Dauren's relatives are modern people, and no one has ever reproached me. Now Dauren and I have three children. Fortunately, all sons. And I don't have to worry about someone stealing my daughter.

Marina, 35 years old, Moscow: “They practically threw me under my parents’ feet!”

And again the stories recorded by Khava Khasmagarova.

I am from Buinaksk, but I entered the university in Makhachkala. I met a young man, we were dating, only my cousins ​​knew about it. We already talked about the wedding, although he was a Dargin and I was a Lezgin, but this did not bother us.

My uncle found out about our relationship. He came with his sons, and they beat me for what they considered inappropriate behavior. I had a broken nose, a couple of ribs, and a broken head. When they finished beating me, I was lying exhausted on the floor, on the carpet. They just wrapped me in this carpet, put me in the car and took me home. There they threw me practically at my parents’ feet.

I was not given any medical assistance; instead, there was a scandal, everyone was screaming. They locked me at home and didn’t let me go anywhere. I tried to open my veins with a tin lid from the lemonade they brought me, after which they wouldn’t leave me alone. I lived like this for a month - during this time, it turns out, they found a groom for me. My mother began to tell me that I had disgraced the family, that my brother would not be able to look people in the eye, and no one would marry my sister, and the only way to fix everything was marriage. I started to believe it myself.

My husband was a simple man from a small town, he treated me well, which I cannot say about his mother. She humiliated me in every possible way, insulted me, and entrusted me with the most difficult and dirty work. I lived like this for two years.

In the end I decided to run away. I left the house in the old clothes I wore at home, threw my coat on top, and told my mother-in-law that I was going to the store. I had some money that I hid, I hid my passport in my bra and went to the bus station. From there I went to the Stavropol Territory, where I called my old friend and asked her to buy me a plane ticket to Moscow. At first I lived with a friend, then I found a job and gradually got back on my feet.

I don’t keep in touch with my family because my mother forbade my family to communicate with me. She believes that I have disgraced my family and that there is no way back for me. The only person who communicates with me is my younger sister. To be honest, I'm not worried about this. In general, I don’t want to remember my past; the thought of going to Dagestan does not arise to me. I don't even want to think about it.

Zara, 50 years old, Grozny: “My father regretted that he gave me away by force!”

When I was a teenager, I decided for myself that I would marry whoever my father chose for me. Because my sister was married several times, each time for love, but the relationship did not work out. I decided that it would be better to leave according to my father’s will. But in reality everything turned out differently.

I had been dating a young man for two years at that time. My mother knew about this, knew his family, because that guy's father was friends with my father. One evening my mother came up to me and said that I was marrying another man. It turned out that my father gave his word to another friend that he would marry me to his son. My father did not talk to me about my personal life; no father talks to his daughters about this.

My boyfriend, when he found out that they were going to marry me to someone else, came to my work with friends to steal me. Then I worked in a store. I told him that if they kidnap me now, I would never tell my relatives that I wanted to marry him. Because when a girl is kidnapped in marriage, all the relatives get involved, this can cause a scandal and even enmity. I asked him to give me the opportunity to persuade my father and resolve this issue peacefully. I really thought that I could convince my father. I hoped that my mother would be able to influence him, that she would say that I was dating so and so and that my father would allow me to marry him. But he said: “I already gave my word.” There was no turning back.

When I came home from work, my family and the family of my future husband already knew that they wanted to kidnap me, and they didn’t let me go to work anymore. My father forbade me to leave the house at all before the wedding. They began to prepare for the wedding at an accelerated pace, and on the third day after that incident I got married. The wedding dress, trousseau - everything was bought in three days, because I wasn’t getting married, I didn’t buy anything in advance.

On the day when my future husband’s relatives officially came to marry me, I locked myself in my room and did not open the door to anyone. My sister knocked and said that the guy I was dating had come. I went outside, and he really was there. He wished me happiness in my marriage, said goodbye and left.

After I realized that I would still marry the one to whom my father gave his word, I no longer cared. I had no choice. I know that my father later regretted that he gave me away by force. Maybe even more than me. He believed that it was not necessary to do this, he said that he felt sorry for me because of the way he treated me. Plus, he knew that my mother-in-law was a difficult person.

Once I was married, I had no time to worry, because my husband’s family had a big house, and I immediately plunged into troubles. Then the children left. You get used to it after some time. The thought of leaving does not arise, especially when children are already born. You live for your children.

Are people forced into marriage these days?

It may seem crazy, but the question of whether people are forced into marriage these days is relevant. There are societies where it is not considered reprehensible to arrange the fate of a girl, often under 18, without her consent. Basically, such situations are relevant for “developing countries”. African countries, India, Afghanistan, Yemen are states where such marriages are not uncommon. Let's figure out why this happens and what awaits the newly-made wife after the “Mendelssohn March”.

Why is a girl forced into marriage?

• In “developing countries” where the economy is weakened, people survive as best they can. There were cases when a family, in order to pay off debts, was forced to marry off girls who were 6, 8, 10 years old.
• Such marriages often have another financial aspect. Due to the peculiarities of a particular situation, for example, a girl’s mother has died and her father cannot raise her, the baby is placed in another home. But she just can’t live there. Therefore, there is only one way out - to marry her off. Then the girl will be able to legally live in the house of her benefactor.

Economic reasons are the main reasons for such marriages. Although the question of whether people are forced into marriage these days seems wild, it is still relevant and quite common in specific societies. In addition to this information, I would like to clarify one more point - what does a very young girl do when she is married?

How do girls who were forced into marriage live?

• Young girls who were married off so early that they did not even finish school are forced to quit their studies. The fact is that often husbands are simply not interested in their new wife getting an education.
• Hence the second postulate - girls actually become housekeepers in a new house. And at this time the husband can start another family and practically forget about his young wife.

These are the sad consequences of marriages when they are forced on a girl. Human rights activists, assessing the situation, are working on the problem. And there are first results. So in the near future there is a high probability that this will become less common in societies where such marriages are common.

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It’s difficult to be a feminist in a Muslim country: they can just take you and marry you off. And these are not some made-up stories, this is happening now: about 15 million people (!) all over the world live in a marriage they did not want.

By the way, if you haven’t seen it yet, watch the film “Tightness” by Kantemir Balagov. There in Nalchik they are trying to force the main character into marriage.

1. Maryam, 22 years old

   Maryam is from Tajikistan, she grew up in a Muslim family, but not too religious: they did without a burqa. The girl was always a tomboy and a feminist, she wanted to build a career first and then get married. Did not work out.

   From the age of 17, matchmakers—the parents of potential suitors—started coming home. Everyone stared at the girl and assessed her. Until the age of 20, Maryam resisted marriage, and then her father simply gave the go-ahead for the wedding without asking anyone.

   So Maryam got married at the age of 20. It's a little late for Tajikistan.

   She saw her husband for the first time on the wedding day, and talked to him after the ceremony. He said that he was also forced into marriage.

   She and her husband lived as friends, the only problem was the mother-in-law, who was very annoying, jealous of her son and generally interfered with life.

   Maryam says that she was lucky: her husband turned out to be more or less sane. Now they live as husband and wife and are trying to build the right relationship.

2. Taisa, 28 years old

   The girl was simply kidnapped. A guy who knew her relatives liked her, Taisa didn’t like the guy. One day she got into the car with her cousin. When the girl realized that they were going in some strange direction, she was informed that she was getting married.

   As a result, the car was stopped, Taisa ran out onto the road, shouting: “Creatures! How could you do this?”

   Thaisa was brought to the house of the “groom”, she was sobbing, and the women on their knees begged her to stay and get married normally (otherwise, why is she showing off, well). One even said that the girl had a genie inside her.

   Everyone was worried that the police would find out about the kidnapping: this is impossible even in Chechnya, where the story took place.

   It didn’t end so badly: Thaisa was saved by her other relatives, and she didn’t have to get married.

   After that, they tried to persuade her for another month to marry that guy.

3. Larisa, 31 years old

   Also Chechnya. And also a kidnapping. Larisa was kidnapped from her friend’s house, forced into a car and taken to the house of her future husband, with whom she had not communicated for several years at that time and did not remember his face at all. The phone was taken away.

   For several hours Larisa didn’t want to get out of the car, but then she had to. All night she sat on a chair in an unfamiliar kitchen and asked to return her home.

   “I was surrounded by women and children. They persuaded me that I needed to come to terms with it and move on with my life, and they treated me to the fullest."

   In the end, she was taken back, but nothing ended. Her relatives and mullah were waiting for her at home, who decided that a night on foreign territory was almost sex. Larisa was put under pressure, and she agreed.

   At first she thought about running away, but then she resigned herself and got used to her husband.

4. Safiya, 24 years old

   Since childhood, Safiya was ready for her father to decide everything himself. In the end, this is what happened: she was married to the son of her father’s friend, he was 7 years older.

   The girl even fell in love with her husband, and everything was fine, except for her husband’s family, who were gone. The girl was forbidden not only to work, but also to wear makeup or wear normal clothes.

   And the husband said this: “You must love my relatives, my friends and even my lovers.”

   Then they divorced.

   The girl was left alone with the child and returned home. There she became an outcast because she disgraced her family with divorce. Now Safiya is married to another man, and he is normal.