Teenagers: a difficult age. How to help your child during the transition period? Parents and teachers are frightened by adolescence

Teenager: how to survive growing up?

Every loving parent dreams of his child getting straight A's - or at least B's and A's. However, not everyone understands that the effectiveness of learning depends not only on the wishes of mothers and fathers, but also on the child’s capabilities. An objective obstacle on the road to knowledge can be the rapid restructuring of the entire adolescent, called the “transitional period.” How to survive it with minimal losses?

Teenagers grow up unnoticed

Most often, both parents and teachers associate learning problems with the level of intellectual development. Hence the questions: “Why does he study poorly, because he’s not a fool at all?” In reality, a child may study poorly due to a decrease in performance associated with age-related changes in his body.

Young teenagers do not yet resemble adults either in appearance or behavior. They still play a lot and just run around, mess around and play pranks, they are spontaneous and restless, easily influenced.

However, the external picture of persistent childishness is deceptive; behind it, important processes of the formation of something new are hidden: adolescents grow up imperceptibly, remaining in many ways children. At this age, educational activities and school gradually cease to be the main and most important task.

During puberty, changes occur at all levels, primarily biological, as well as psychological and social. The intensity of physiological processes, hormonal levels, and organ functions change.

Hence the awkwardness

The growth of the skeleton is faster than the development of muscle tissue, hence the awkwardness, disproportion, and angularity of the figure. In girls, the mass of adipose tissue increases by 10-20%, which is subjectively very difficult for them. The volume of the heart doubles during puberty, while significant fluctuations in blood pressure occur, often upward, and frequent headaches. Doctors often diagnose teenagers with vegetative-vascular dystonia.

The biological characteristics of adolescence largely depend on the functioning of the endocrine glands. At this age, there is a kind of “explosion” in the activity of the hypothalamic-pituitary and endocrine systems. This leads to changes in hormonal status. Growth hormone, one of the main hormones of the pituitary gland, stimulates fat deposition, activates protein biosynthesis, and enhances metabolic processes. Its production reaches its peak at 12-14 years of age. This is what is associated with the maximum growth spurt in adolescents.

Another hormone of this gland affects the increase in bone and muscle tissue. It also enhances the body’s adaptive reactions to stress. This is the biological basis, which in adolescence ensures the acquisition of knowledge, as well as the development and consolidation of work and life skills.

Yes, and the nerves lose stability

Thyroid hormones play an important role in the growing body. They are involved in all types of metabolism, in brain development, determine the level of intelligence, physical development, maturation of the reproductive system, and adaptive capabilities. The function of the thyroid gland, in turn, is “controlled” by the pituitary hormone, which regulates iodine metabolism, carbohydrate metabolism, and stimulates protein synthesis. Changes in hormonal status, characteristic of puberty, cause restructuring of the immune system. Growth hormone and thyroid hormones stimulate the function of the thymus gland, lymphoid tissue, and the formation of T-lymphocytes.

But that's not all. The state of the teenager’s nervous system becomes unstable. Therefore, the behavior of adolescents is characterized by increased nervousness, lack of restraint, and instability of emotional reactions. External signs of this are increased excitability, pronounced emotional reactions to minimal stressful situations, and sweating.

Our brain develops unevenly - there are moments of crisis when the formation of some of its departments ends and the rapid development of others begins. This occurs at approximately one, three, seven and fourteen years of age. And in each period between crises, the nature and way of perceiving reality changes, depending on the development of certain parts of the brain.

Concrete thinking is replaced by logical thinking

In the child over the previous years, the leading role of the cerebral cortex has increased. But during puberty, subcortical activity increases again (this is indicated by data from electroencephalographic studies). This explains the natural decline in the productivity of mental activity of a high school student due to the fact that concrete thinking is replaced by logical thinking. It is not surprising that school performance is falling, although it seems that the pattern should be the opposite - with age there should be increasing progress.

Psychologically, there is a desire to become a more independent person, independent of parents. Intimate and personal communication with peers becomes the main thing. A new mechanism for logical thinking for a teenager leads to an increase in criticality. He no longer accepts the postulates of adults on faith; he demands evidence and justification. Only 20% of adolescents completely lack crisis manifestations of negativism.

Child psychologists are sure: a person must go through all the natural stages of his development - play to his heart's content, fight with his peers. The ubiquitous early development schools, where children learn integrals almost from the cradle, are simply an opportunistic order not justified by the child’s needs. Personality can only be formed after the brain is formed. And its development is completed by the age of 15-16 with the maturation of the frontal lobes.

The purpose of the frontal lobes is control. A child becomes a Personality when he learns to control himself - that is, to take responsibility for his actions. The teenage period of a child’s development is the last opportunity to influence the formation of his personality and character.

Find out your place in the world

The teenager wants to know not only himself, but also his place in the world, which he explores empirically. The teenager himself considers any “antisocial” behavior, from the point of view of adults, rather as... exploratory. Naturally, the framework within which he is forced to exist in an educational institution is too small for him. The school does not provide answers to the questions that concern older students. And this is another reason for the student’s conflict with his studies.

But parents should not treat their growing child too straightforwardly and think that he will definitely have a decline in learning. At this age, preferences in academic disciplines are determined. The level of knowledge for many teenagers becomes a factor in life success. For the first time, school classes are turning not into activities for getting grades, but into learning, as self-education and an incentive for self-development, that is, they acquire personal meaning and value.

If you look at all these metamorphoses as if from the outside, then you can imagine how a rapidly developing personality is freed from the old shell that has become cramped, and some unknown creature appears. This process sometimes occurs gradually, gradually, and sometimes suddenly and immediately. And often even experienced school teachers cannot keep up with the escalation of thoughts and feelings of growing boys and girls.

People around them often mistakenly regard the changed behavior of teenagers as shortcomings in their upbringing, the result of unfavorable environmental influences, etc. They try to apply measures of social or administrative influence to them, while they simply need to build relationships with a growing person at a new level. The time will come when the hormonal storms will subside, but if a teenager has become “difficult” due to improper upbringing, improving his physical condition will not lead to automatic correction.

Still, adults should not forget that the main characteristic of a teenager is not aggression, but personal instability. Opposite traits and aspirations fight within him, determining the inconsistency of character and behavior.

Psychologists advise:

— All the problems of adolescence can be smoothed out due to a good psychological climate in the family. At the same time, a teenager is positively influenced by high status among peers, the presence of life prospects, as well as hobbies. Parents should understand that mood swings are normal at this age. You can help your offspring restore emotional balance with walks in nature, herbal teas, baths with pine needles and salt.

— Tell your child more often that you love him: no one has yet been spoiled by an excess of parental love. He needs this, even if he desperately shows his independence from your opinion. Accept your child in both of its manifestations, adult and child. After all, he needs your love, and no matter what, you are the greatest authority for him.

— For many parents who believe that success and excellent academic performance are synonymous, we can recall the position of professionals: success does not depend on the number of A’s in the certificate, but on the ability to communicate, find a common language with different people, on the ability to enter into competitive relationships with others. In addition, the skills to navigate life situations, the ability to set your own goals and achieve them independently, and much more will be very useful, which can be partly learned at school, but this is not called school performance and is not graded with A's.

Expert commentary

Natalya Kuindzhi, chief researcher of the laboratory of hygiene of training and education of the Research Institute of Hygiene and Health Protection of Children and Adolescents of the State Institution NCCH (Scientific Center for Children's Health) of the Russian Academy of Medical Sciences, Doctor of Medical Sciences, Professor:

I completely and completely agree that with the onset of hormonal changes in a teenager’s body, receptivity to information decreases, memory becomes worse, and all mental processes slow down. At the same time, natural physiological changes are superimposed on increased physical and intellectual stress, and a certain conflict of interests occurs.

All schoolchildren are characterized by psycho-emotional and visual stress, physical inactivity, and prolonged forced sitting posture, caused by the educational process. Unfortunately, this is observed at a time when the child is growing and needs increased physical activity. Therefore, specialists at our institute are confident that a child’s body can only withstand six lessons a day, even if we are talking about a high school student.

It is important to note that gender differences greatly influence the learning process. Both boys and girls grow up, but it happens differently for them. For example, girls already in the first grade quickly get involved in their studies, try their best, but because they are very worried and nervous, their blood pressure often rises. But for boys, there are no fluctuations in pressure, and their studies do not neuroticize them at all: well, even if it doesn’t work out, well, let them scold them, they don’t care. Boys clearly waste less nerves and health than girls. It has been noticed that boys do not react to shouting or the authoritarian behavior of the teacher, but in 75% of girls the pressure rises in response.

Our institute has developed a technique: thanks to a special test, you can see how receptivity to learning changes with age. There is such an indicator - the ratio of the number of characters read to errors when reading. This parameter for girls first improves from the first to the fourth grades, then - in the fifth to seventh grades - there is a sharp drop, and then gradually, from the end of the seventh to eighth grades, this indicator begins to slowly increase again. But boys do not have such leaps, since they have a different development. As a rule, they adapt to school better than girls. Boys' learning problems are more likely due to psychological changes at this age.

Specialists at our institute believe that it is necessary to reduce the workload for girls in the middle classes, and in order for the educational process not to suffer, we need to start teaching them earlier. That is, for girls it is optimal to go to first grade from the age of six. But for boys it is still better to start at seven, because although the educational process itself is much easier for them, they later “get involved” in learning.

Of course, both parents and all educators need to take into account age-related changes in children, and accordingly, do not expect from them the same excellent performance in secondary school as they did in elementary school. There are objective reasons for the decline in school success, and no amount of drilling can affect this. When raising teenagers, it is imperative to take into account all the biological characteristics inherent in this age.

Kirillov Vadim

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“He’s rude, snaps, doesn’t listen, dresses provocatively” – these are typical griefs of parents as their children grow up. How to find a common language with a teenager and not slide into banal flirting and connivance? Where is the golden mean that will allow the child to grow up and not burn a ton of nerve cells from the parents.

It is very good if the family is complete and the parents live in harmony. That is, they are able to discuss and develop a line of behavior. Discuss a competent reaction to unimaginable tricks and quirks.

But the reality is that single-parent families are a sad reality of our time. Dad separately, mother and child separately. And there is rarely agreement between parents. A single mother cannot count on help from her father. And then there is adolescence and a catastrophic inability to keep the situation under control.

It is incredibly difficult for a single mother not to lose connection and understanding with her teenage child as he grows up. Yesterday he was still an understandable little man, touchingly caring for his mother. And suddenly, incomprehensible outbursts of protest and aggression out of the blue.

Mom has a life and work (often more than one) and a passionate desire to get some sleep. I only dream about vacation. The needs of the family increase and it becomes increasingly difficult to feed and provide everything the “baby” needs or desires. And it is necessary to teach your beloved child in a quality manner, which means it is paid.

And this same “beloved child” refuses to understand that his mother is working hard for him. She herself could get by with lower expenses, without additional income.

Tired, always preoccupied with something, the mother provokes protest in the teenager. Harmonious volcanoes are raging inside him, and the mother is intruding into his personal space with her teachings, restrictions, demands, and advice. He does not hear, and does not want to hear, anything that comes from his parents.

“The ancestors are from the last century, what can they know and understand!”
In no case does he want to live like them. He will live differently: freely, widely, freely.

The question “for what” is not of concern to him yet. The main thing is to become free as soon as possible. From what? From guardianship, prohibitions, studies and, in general, from all responsibilities.

It has been noticed that in a family where parents and children have common interests, there are no wars during adolescence. Everything goes calmer and smoother.

It is more difficult for a mother and a teenage boy to overlap in some areas of activity than for a father and a teenage girl. But this is possible, if desired. And it’s better to start thinking about this not when the thunder struck and the “war” flared up, but much earlier.

Common interests can be broad: from Internet projects to membership in an equestrian club. Or the mother is an experienced motorist and her driving authority is generally recognized. Then teenage sons naturally accept their mother as a partner or like-minded person.

In any case, whether or not they managed to acquire common interests, parents need to understand the following:

It is very good that a child strives to become independent. You have raised not a weak-willed amoeba, but a person who will be able to achieve success in life and become your support.

Remove petty supervision. Discuss the rules and boundaries of living together and behavior. There is no need to separate rooms with barricades, but it is necessary to exclude parental intrusion into personal territory, be it a room or a desktop with a computer.

Seize every moment when your child is ready to talk to you. Listen more - talk less.
Never say phrases like “here I am at your age.” The teenager will slam shut in his shell and there may be no more conversations together.

Teenage maximalism, adolescence, hormonal explosion - believe me, all this has already happened in every family. In more or less degree. Even though it seems to you that there has never been a worse situation and you are unique.

Learn from other people's examples. Some people overcame this period with difficulty and the consequences affected the future fate of the teenager and the parents too. Try not to repeat mistakes - at a distance and over time they are obvious. Someone, on the contrary, managed to get close and make friends with the child during this difficult period for him. Perhaps you too can benefit from positive experiences.

The transition to adolescence doesn't have to be a parent's nightmare. You may be lucky and won't notice any major behavioral changes. This, by the way, happens in large families and families united by one common cause.

There is no time and no one to “show off” to—you have to get on with your work. And the teenager understands this, despite the hormonal and psychological problems of growing up.

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This stage is special for Erickson. He worked with teenagers separately and not only as a psychotherapist. He was included in an interesting study. Teenagers are children who grew up during World War II. At that time, the image of fascism as an enemy was absolutely recognized and these were children whose parents fought and died. And suddenly, there is a terrible phenomenon in American society: teenagers wearing fascist symbols with fascist salutes are marching through the streets of New York. They demonstrate their commitment to the ideology that their parents fought against.

Erickson became interested in this phenomenon and worked with these teenagers. These were associations of young people who opposed themselves to the adult world; what was behind this? Erickson says these teenagers couldn't be for or against fascist ideology because they don't know it. They show commitment to something without even knowing what. What did they need? They don’t care what they’re against, the main thing is to protest.

Erikson considers the teenage stage to be special. This is the stage of unique opportunities and unique dangers. As for opportunities, we talked about how strong and weak personality traits are formed in a person. He is going through his own psychosocial crisis and it seems to be for the rest of his life. The exception is adolescence, when everything can change. Adolescence becomes that reserve in which all personality choices can change from “+” to “-” and from “-” to “+” and change everything that was done before. That is, a child can enter adolescence one way, and come out simply different, having changed everything that was done before.

The danger is this: we said that sooner or later, a person, no matter how he solves the problem of development in one version or another, he moves on, collects more and more new features and moves on to new and new tasks. With the exception of adolescence. Because if a person does not solve the problem of adolescent development, he goes nowhere further. You can stay in adolescence for a long time and forever. Personal development can stop: this is not maturation, not preformationism; age can become the upper limit of personality development.

Why can you change and why can you get stuck? Of course, this is related to the development task. What should a young man do here? We have finally reached the second need, the desire for ego identity , to be oneself, which balances the adult personality in socialization. But in order to be yourself, you need to become yourself. The development task is gaining ego identity .

What does it mean to “be yourself”? And who am I? What am I? What should I be like? Yourself. A person does not know himself until adolescence. It is in adolescence that the task of, we would say, self-knowledge arises. Understand myself and know what I am. And if a person copes with this task, then he gains very great personal stability. Because understanding who and what I am becomes a guide for many life choices. An adult, immediately after adolescence, makes a lot of life choices and is guided by this sense of Ego-Identity. Erickson writes about being true to yourself .

For example, if I am an honest person, then I may be tempted to take money on the street. But am I an honest person or not? If I'm honest, I won't take it. No one will teach and educate me anymore. In this sense, I will base my future behavior on what I think about myself and how I imagine myself.

In general, Erikson’s concept of ego identity is very complex. He gives a definition, but it needs to be explained. What is ego identity according to Erikson? Erikson defines it as "a sense of continuity and identity of one's existence" .

An unclear definition, but in context it becomes clear what he means. The question Erickson asks us is: We were all babies and what does that mean? We were small, bald and toothless and loud. How do we think about our infant selves? Is it me or not me? Do we think of ourselves as infants as me or not me? This is where the opportunity to think and reflect is.

Erickson says that this is surprising, because he was a different person, because he was of a different size and he did not have the personal qualities that I have now. But we still think it was me.

And further Erickson says that a person is constantly changing, but at each age he acquires his own identity: at first I am the son of my parents, then I felt that I was a member of a friendly company. Where did “I am the son of my parents” go? Interestingly, up until adolescence, we see that the child acquires the next identity, rejecting the previous one. He seems to be trying to abandon what happened before. An adult, on the contrary, does not reject anything, he talks about integration. About the fact that I am simultaneously a parent to my children and a son to my parents. That is, in my life I feel like both a child and a parent. I say that my personality is very complex and multifaceted: I am a child and a parent and a friend and a professional, and each of my identities enriches my personality. This is what is defined as integrity and continuity.

Erickson says that this is the outcome that must be reached. He believes that it is during adolescence that integration occurs, when a person assembles himself as a whole and continuity and begins to treat himself in a special way.

• At school they give a piece of paper and a free self-description: “who I am” and “what I am like.” Twelve-year-olds do it in fifteen minutes, they have no doubts. And sixteen-year-olds sit and grumble and say that they gave us such a difficult topic and that they were pestered in general.

It is very unlikely that by the age of 18 this problem will be solved. It may not be resolved even at twenty or thirty years old, and this painful search for oneself can continue for a long time. And it is in this search and in the analysis of oneself that a change in those qualities that have already been acquired can occur. He no longer just emotionally, but also rationally evaluates himself and the events of his life, he can look differently at himself and at relationships with his loved ones, and all these relationships can be reconsidered by him and as a result he will lean from distrust to trust, etc. . n. It is in solving this development problem that both dangers and opportunities lie.

Who decides with? A peer in the full sense of the word - equal in age. After all, the parents, seeing these searches and they really want to help and are ready to show him his strengths and strengths, everything is pointless. A peer is who becomes a trusted figure. Why? Psychologically this is very justified. Psychologically, we are talking about the fact that in order to find out what I am like, I must look in the mirror and be reflected. You can only be reflected in a psychological sense in someone like yourself. Therefore, other teenagers and peers become important people. But this is not yet building relationships; he must act and receive feedback. But how to know yourself? A thing at rest is not knowable.

For example, I may believe that I am a brave person. But do I know myself or not? No, I will know when I encounter danger. That is, knowing yourself requires action, action and then analysis of this action. Therefore, teenagers do not lie in bed wondering what kind of person I am, they act, receiving feedback and assessment from themselves and from their peers. But we can hope that the past years were not lived in vain and he has already entered this age with some burden.

What does a person gain as a result of this search? He has that same ego identity, that is, a feeling of identity with himself. How do you know when this search is complete? It's probably easier to see the other side. The weak point is the so-called identity diffusion - uncertainty, blurred ideas about oneself. And then a person with identity diffusion is very much influenced, he is ready to accept any version about himself: “Well, how can it be - that’s who you are, go and do it!” - Or maybe I’m really like that? I'll go and do it! A person who has an ego identity is able to refuse and resist pressure. He may say that he will not take this class because he is not like that. And vice versa, if he has an interest, he will do it. That is, a person, knowing himself, makes a decision in agreement with himself.

Sometimes, teenagers, spending time in a company, come home and even change their manner of speech and you can understand who he was with now. If this happens, which is definitely still diffusion, he is ready to try on any sample. As soon as a person acquires an ego-identity, you will not easily push him away from his manners and his positions. It is very difficult to find yourself.

It was while working with teenagers in post-war America that Erickson came up with another idea: whether the state of society makes life very easy or difficult. The fact is that our society also has periods of stability and restructuring. Erikson believes that if a teenager grows up during the period of perestroika, he, in principle, cannot find an identity and this period drags on for a very long time. Because to find yourself, you need stable supports and foundations. But if everything around is also unstable, where will this core come from?

He describes the growing up period of American teenagers as a whole complex of symptoms and these are developmental complications caused by growing up in an unstable social situation. He says that a teenager in such a situation is infantile, he does not want to grow up (although in general it is common for a teenager to strive for adulthood). In an unstable society, a teenager sees how difficult it is in this society to push back the border of growing up for as long as possible. He experiences a feeling of anxiety, and this anxiety is irrational. And this is also understandable: yes, a teenager is growing up, but if adults are confident in the future, then there is support, but if adults are not confident in the future, then this is very scary.

• We often hear the phrase from parents: “We still have to live until summer / vacation!” and for a teenager it sounds scary and alarming and they don’t want to grow up.

And the extreme version of this denial is the denial of life and an increase in suicides. Depression and denial are what all these perestroika processes turn out to be for a growing teenager.

At what age does adolescence usually begin? This happens differently for each person. However, there is a single criterion: when a child develops self-awareness, he becomes a teenager.

Beginning of adolescence

Early childhood lays the foundation for participation in social life and work. Society shapes his personal qualities, which help him integrate harmoniously into adult life, which is facilitated by preschool institutions, various clubs, and home education.

Periodization of childhood and adolescence

Most parents wonder: how many years does adolescence mean? It is difficult to give exact numbers, since the entry of each child into this period depends on the genetic predisposition and individual characteristics of the body. For some children, the onset of adolescence occurs at age 11, for others at age 14.

It is customary to distinguish three stages of adolescence:

1. The body is preparing for changes - the pre-puberty period.
2. Secondary sexual characteristics are formed - puberty.
3. The end of adolescence is the post-pubertal phase.

In addition to common features, adolescence among different peoples and nationalities has its own characteristics caused by geographical, national-cultural and other aspects. Children develop character traits and habits that meet the generally accepted norms of a given environment.

At what age does puberty begin in Russia? For centuries, the period of puberty among the Russian-speaking population was called “adolescence.” It lasted from 12 to 17 years. To date, this norm in our country has remained unchanged.

Psychological withdrawal

Along with physiological maturation, mental changes occur. Children in this age group are characterized by emotional outbursts, personal activity, the desire for independence, and self-affirmation in the eyes of others. Their pride suffers because they are forced to depend on their parents.

Teenagers very actively strive to imitate their elders, while focusing on the values ​​of the modern world. They develop an increased interest in their personality and self-esteem. The opposite state begins to appear: conflict with oneself. A growing child often has a painful conceit, and sometimes a careless attitude towards his life. All minor problems seem catastrophic, they manifest themselves very emotionally.

Attention! Various manifestations of teenage behavior must be patiently endured, like a natural disaster that will soon subside.

Boy growing up

Let's figure it out - when does adolescence begin in boys? Scientific research says that the “boyish” pre-pubertal period usually begins at 11. It ends at about 16.

Difficult age is caused by hormonal changes. The boy's voice changes, active muscle growth begins, genitals develop, small mustaches and fluff appear on his face, as well as hair on other parts of the body. The production of hormones in the body affects the behavior of a teenager: he becomes rude and uncontrollable. A strong sexual desire causes discomfort to a young man (even when he is in his early teens - which is 11 years old).

Growing up boys strive for maximum independence. She often becomes unpredictable and reckless. Hormone surges lead the young man to riots and hysterical behavior. Not only he, but also his household suffers from this. For boys, the difficult period is more difficult than for girls. This is confirmed by sad statistics: most often male children run away from home and become drug addicts or alcoholics.

In raising a boy, the father plays an invaluable role, who should be a model of masculine behavior. In order to form a future harmonious personality from his son, the father must establish contact with him on the basis of complete mutual understanding. If the family is incomplete, then this role is assigned to the grandfather or uncle.

Girl growing up

Sexual development in girls occurs earlier than in boys, so a girl often enters adolescence at the age of 9 - and this is earlier than the designated period. The difficult period ends at about 15.

The child develops secondary sexual characteristics: the hips widen, the body becomes more rounded. Body weight may increase. Hair appears on the pubic area and armpits. Acne often pops up, which brings a lot of complexes to the teenager. The physiological state of a girl very often leads to the fact that she does not perceive her body. The other side of the coin is increased interest in the opposite sex.

Important! The mother’s responsibility is to explain in a form understandable to her daughter the delicate moments associated with physiological issues. It is necessary to help the child soften the leap “from childhood to adulthood.”

Like boys, growing girls have a need to prove to everyone that they are adults. The need for self-affirmation deprives them of the ability to remain calm throughout the teenage phase of life and make reasonable decisions. The girl's character becomes difficult to control.

Adolescence lasts approximately 4–5 years. All this time, parents need to put themselves in their child's shoes. Elders are required to be nobility towards all people, tolerance and flexibility towards the teenager. The fragile consciousness of a growing child absorbs the behavioral style of adults. If parents criticize and condemn teachers, neighbors, friends, then they sow the seeds of hostility towards others in their child’s psyche.

Please note! Adults should teach a teenager to be responsible, but not by violent means, but by giving him freedom of choice.

An important aspect is proper sleep. The norm for night rest is 8 hours. If a teenager does not get enough sleep, then his nervous system becomes unstable and he experiences stress. Problems begin.

The physical development of a growing child is very important. Sports will help relieve tension associated with hormonal surges. Proper, balanced nutrition will provide the growing body with vitamins, microelements, proteins, carbohydrates, etc.

• constant depression;
• detachment;
• lack of appetite;
• rudeness;
• demonstrative actions;
• cruelty;
• "love of money."

If a child demands pocket money in excess of the norm, then parents should respond to this alarming signal. There may be a terrible reason behind the “love of money”: . If there is reasonable suspicion, it is necessary to examine the child at a drug dispensary.

End of post-puberty

In recent years, psychologists have noted that adolescence ends after adulthood. This phenomenon has reasons. Let's look at them.

Today's era of the digital economy requires young people to have a competitive education, which takes a lot of time to obtain. Consequently, the deadline for a young man to become an adult is postponed: he will be financially independent in order to create a full-fledged family. In addition, many boys and girls aged 18 to 35 continue to live with their parents.

So, the psychology of a child growing up can slightly reduce the intensity and ease the difficult burden of parents. And then the teenager will come to an agreement with himself.

Most likely, absolutely all parents and even those who are just preparing to become one have heard about how difficult it is to get along with a teenager. The phrase “adolescence” is perceived as something terrible, but at the same time inevitable, something that must be come to terms with. However, absolutely everything in this life has one remarkable property: it comes to an end. Sooner or later, the teenage period comes to an end, its representatives grow up and begin to show their best qualities.

And this is where amazing discoveries await many parents. It turns out that it can be difficult to get along not only with teenagers, but also with representatives of a slightly older group, young people. Those who, for various reasons (some due to age or marital status, and some only because they consider themselves smarter than most other representatives of humanity) consider themselves adults, look with bewilderment at yesterday’s teenagers and think: “How did this happen? ? After all, we weren’t like that! After all, we didn’t raise them like that!”

They are partly mistaken. Still, most of the character traits and behavioral characteristics are laid down in the family. It is on the example of the older generation that the child draws up his own formula for life, polishing and improving it in adolescence, and then applying it in adulthood. Let us repeat, they are only partly mistaken, since in fact a whole list of factors influences a teenager’s growing up.

Family as the main source of a teenager’s growth

No matter how much time your teenager spends at school, with friends, or in various extracurricular activities, he still spends much more time with his family. And here parents have to make the main choice in their lives: either they understand that the future life of their child will be a reflection of their own, and therefore will adhere to generally accepted standards of behavior, or they will live as they want, without forgetting “order” a growing son or daughter to live “as it should.”

What do we get as a result? In fact, nothing good: a teenager who has learned to lie, pretend and adapt to circumstances in such a way as to get out of the situation with the least loss for himself. Moreover, there is absolutely no point in blaming him for this, because the parents got what they were striving for.

Social factors influencing the growing up of a teenager

In fact, there are a lot of them, and even simply listing them would take quite a lot of time. Therefore, we will dwell only on those of them whose influence is undeniable and has been noticed by more than a dozen of both professional psychologists and ordinary parents.

Teenager's environment

This concept includes several subgroups of people. These include classmates with whom a teenager is forced to communicate in any case, even if he doesn’t really like it, and friends, most of whom he chooses for himself, and many other people of different ages with whom he has to communicate every day. It is not surprising that he tries to imitate some of them, while he begins to despise the traits of others both in himself and in those around him. And that's okay! Parents should never try to prohibit expressing opinions about people around them, even if they themselves do not agree with it.

Living conditions of a teenager

Also a multi-component concept. First of all, you should take into account the area where the teenager lives. If this is a village where all children are left to their own devices from birth, and when they get a little older they become the main helpers around the house, then growing up will come much faster than for a child cared for on all sides by caring relatives, who at 16-17 years old and has lunch I’m not able to warm myself up. This leads to the second component of living conditions: family.

Absolutely everything matters: cultural level, education, social circle... Everything for which there are certain standards and rules in modern society can affect the growing up of a teenager. But it is almost impossible to say anything definite in advance about the nature of this influence.

Upbringing

On the one hand, it is difficult to separate it from the concepts of environment and living conditions. But on the other hand, this is such a self-sufficient factor that has a colossal influence on the growing up of a teenager that it is simply impossible not to take it into account. Moreover, we deliberately do not put upbringing in first place, since often even the impeccable inclinations established by parents are spoiled if a teenager finds himself in bad company or in difficult social conditions.

The concept of education also includes such a difficult issue as religion. Of course, only parents and no one else can decide on the appropriateness of this component, but its influence cannot be excluded.

Other Conditions Affecting Adolescent Adulthood

In addition to what has already been listed, other factors can be cited, the influence of which on the transformation from a teenager into an adult is, if not enormous, then certainly clearly noticeable.

This is also a school, as a collection of fellow students, teachers and representatives of the administration, which for the first time teaches you to solve problems, and not wait for mom or dad to solve them.

This includes the media, the availability of information in which today exceeds all conceivable norms, and for a teenager, forbidden information simply does not exist with the current capabilities of the Internet.

This is the first love, not always mutual and happy, but always leaving its mark in the soul of a small, but already human.

The list could go on for a long time, and each parent, after re-reading the entire list, may well add something on his own behalf. However, the most important thing is to understand that a teenager is, first of all, a person. This is not an object for experimentation on which various educational methods can be tested. This is not a chance to finally bring to life what you failed to do at one time. This is a person who has the right to his own opinion, even if it is not always to your liking. And this personality will sooner or later become an adult, and it largely depends on you what kind of person will turn out from yesterday’s teenager.