Foreigners about raising children in Russia: Russian family life is fundamentally different from foreign, because juvenile justice has destroyed the very concept of the family in "enlightened" Western countries. Russian mentality through the eyes of foreigners (many bukof,

The Russians, who raise their children in an atmosphere of limitless care, instill in them habits that shock foreigners. Due to the difference in mentality, they consider Russian methods of forging a personality to be very conservative, rigid and suppressing the individualism of a child.

Child control

According to psychologist Maria Shchenniak, Europeans are amazed at the attitude of Russian adults towards children, whom they do not perceive as an independent unit. Surrounding children with excessive care, they try to protect them from mistakes, deprive them of the right to choose, trying to prolong their carefree childhood. Meanwhile, in the opinion of foreigners, it is precisely for this reason that Russian children for the most part grow up as spoiled and infantile people who are unable to make a decision. The absence of the habit of listening to the child, not restricting his freedom within the limits of what is permitted and reasonably indulging his whims, ultimately leads to the “creation” of a notorious, insecure person, dependent on the opinions of others.

Little manipulator

Along with this, there is another habit of Russian children - manipulation. Knowing about his role in the life of his parents and that they will go to great lengths for him, the child, in order to achieve his goal, forces adults to follow his lead, abandoning his previous words. For these purposes, there is a whole arsenal of "weapons" - screaming until you are hoarse, rolling on the floor, crying sobbing, pretending to be sick, etc. Foreign parents in such cases will allow the child to go through all the stages of hysteria, and Russian parents, for the most part, rush to save the child and fulfill his requirements.

Grandmothers and grandfathers

The sincere surprise of foreigners is caused by the great love of Russian children for grandparents, who, instead of devoting leisure time to themselves, traveling and enjoying a life free from work, are raising their grandchildren for free. Giving young parents the opportunity to build a career, they take care of the child, referring to their experience in this difficult matter. Russian families are critical of the idea of ​​hiring a nanny, firstly, this circumstance requires additional budget expenditure items, and secondly, the grandmother will simply be offended when she learns that a person from the street was preferred to her. Justifying the “grandmother's” upbringing, Elena Kazantseva claims that there is a “mystical connection” between grandchildren and elderly relatives that strengthens the connection between generations.

Clothes sorting

Donna Gorman, an American who lived in Russia for several years, wondered why local mothers tirelessly wrap their children in warm clothes on the pages of the Time newspaper. In the West, the child himself decides how and what to wear, while Russian parents prefer to take care of the baby's attire, which must necessarily protect him from colds. In this regard, hats, numerous modifications of which change from season to season, become an indispensable attribute of children's attire.

Mandatory walks

At the same time, Gorman notes that, in addition to a phobia of diseases, Russian parents have a mania for walks that they go out with their children, both in pleasant weather and in hard frost. Explaining such actions with the phrase “children need fresh air,” they shock foreigners who see this as a real execution. That is why children, growing up, spend a lot of time on the street.

late sleep

Gorman, who had contacts with Russian families, did not understand the habit of local children to go to bed late due to attending numerous clubs, sports sections, tutors and doing homework. In the West, such a load on a child is considered unacceptable, and in Russia, the more additional classes he attends, the more developed he looks in the eyes of others.

Showdown in Russian

From the point of view of educational consultant Isabella Lauterpacht, in private schools in the UK, students from Russia are easily identified by how they deal with conflict situations in the classroom. Accustomed to solving problems on their own, they never go to complain about the offender to the administration, but prefer to deal with their fists. The reason for this lies in the fact that from childhood children are taught not to tell the tales, but to be able to stand up for themselves. Such behavior of Russian boys often becomes the basis for their expulsion.

pampered

Among other features of Russian teenagers in foreign boarding schools, Lauterpacht names spoiledness, from which indiscipline, aggression and self-will follow. They are used to getting everything they want at the first click, and being well versed in their rights, they do not want to realize that they also have responsibilities. While flaunting the material resources of their parents in front of peers from Western countries, they sometimes forget that the main purpose of their stay at school is to study.

Russian girls, unlike their European peers, are obsessed with fashion, their appearance and the impression they make on the opposite sex. Being the center of attention of boys, they suffer from arrogance and vanity.

1. Babushka's (Grandmothers) often center of families. Take care of children and are tough. They will take no grief from anyone. They will push you on Metro or out of the way at store to get to front of line.

Grandmothers often play a central role in the family. They bring up children and have a difficult character. They will spare no one. They jostle in the subway and in stores to get ahead of the line.

2. Russia is a child centered society. Most absolutely love their children. Children become a good discussion point, when you have become friends.

Russian society is focused on children. Most adore their children. Children are a good topic of conversation when you become friends.

3. The new Russians have a different set of values ​​than older Russians. They are often focused upon conspicuous consumption and acquisition.

The value system of young (new) Russians differs from that of the older generation. The young are focused on consuming and acquiring.

4. This is a difficult period for pensioners. The are often poor, resentful of government inaction and afraid that society has left them behind, and questioning if anyone still appreciates their contributions.

Times are tough for retirees. They are often poor, resentful of the inaction of the state and fear that society has abandoned them, and also wonder if anyone needs them at all.

5. Role of “Kitchen Culture” You have been accepted into Russian society, when you can sit late at night in a Russian kitchen with borscht bread, vodka and discuss philosophy. Be prepared for longer and more intense personal discussions than most Americans are accustomed to.

The role of "Kitchen culture". Consider yourself accepted into Russian society if you sit late at night in a Russian kitchen with borscht, bread, vodka and philosophize. Be prepared for longer and deeper personal conversations than most Americans are used to.

6. You will see war memorials in each city…and veterans with their ribbons. The war killed one of three people in many places and was shaping event for that generation. Russians have great difficulty understanding why we pay so little attention to past wars.

You'll see war memorials in every city... and veterans with their awards. The war killed one in three in many places and was a formative event for that generation. It is hard for Russians to understand why we pay so little attention to past wars.

7. If you are invited to homes, bring candy, flowers or a bottle of wine or liquor. Never refuse an invitation to a home or dacha. It is in homes that you really get to know people.

If you are invited to visit, bring sweets, flowers, or a bottle of alcohol with you. Never refuse an invitation to visit or to the country. It is on a visit that you really get to know people.

8. Remember March 8th, which is International Women's Day. You will give gifts to the women in our office. If you are either working in Russia or with them on teams, remember to give gifts or congratulate them on that day.

Remember March 8, International Women's Day. You will need to give gifts to women at work. If you work in Russia or in a team with Russians, do not forget to give gifts and congratulate on this day.

9. Little business is done in the last half of December or the first part of January and half of May during holidays. Plan ahead on your projects knowing that many are on holiday or not in office. It is worst time to schedule meetings.

Little work is done in the second half of December, the first half of January and the first half of May, during the holidays. Make a schedule in advance, knowing that many people are not at work these days. This is the worst time to schedule appointments.

10. Don’t forget thirteen day difference in holidays between Julian and Gregorian calendars…for Russian Christmas.

Don't forget the thirteen-day difference between the Julian and Gregorian calendars... due to Russian Christmas.

11. Number of Russian traditions. These include:

Russian traditions. Include:

* Leave your shoes at doors of homes or apartments, They will give you slippers. It is rude to walk barefoot or in stocking feet.
Take off your shoes near the doors in houses and apartments. They will give you slippers. It is indecent to walk barefoot or in socks.
* Do not give a birthday card early, but at party or later. If you give it early, it is considered bad luck.
Do not give greeting cards in advance, give on a holiday or later. Giving postcards in advance is unfortunately.
* Never, ever forget a Russian birthday. It is a major event.
Never forget about Russian birthdays. This is an important event.
* You are expected to have the ability to present toasts during events as well as knowing anecdotes. Russians have one of the most visible senses of humor of any nation.
You are expected to be able to toast during celebrations, as well as to know anecdotes. Russians have a distinct sense of humor compared to other nations.
* You are expected to be able to discuss art, literature and culture. Russians view Americans as lacking in culture. Russians read three times as many books as we do. Even if poor, in book stores concerts and read newspapers and books on Metro. You will se many children take out a book as soon as they sit down on Metro.
You are expected to discuss art, literature and culture. Russians believe that American culture is poorer. Russians read three times more than we do. Even if the poor, something there in bookstores, read newspapers and books in the subway. You will see many children who take out a book as soon as they get on the subway.
* Never shake hands across a threshold. It is considered bad luck and many believe it will lead to an argument.
Don't say goodbye across the threshold. This is unfortunately and many believe that it is a quarrel.
* Never shake hands with your gloves on. It is an insult.
Don't use gloved hands. It's insulting.
* Never make sign “Ok” with fingers. It is considered very low class and rude.
Never show the OK sign. It is considered low and rude.
* Avoid the peace sign “V” with second and third fingers and palm facing inward. It is the same as giving them a finger.
Avoid the "V" gesture with the index and middle fingers inward. This is the same as showing a fake.
* It is best to give a thumbs up if you approve or really like something…
The best way is to give a thumbs up if you approve or like something
* Never criticize Russian history or society. They wish to forget some eras and Russians wish to be proud of their history and heritage.
Never criticize Russian history and society. They want to forget some times and Russians want to be proud of their history and heritage.
* Never tell them how America is more advanced. In many cases now, it is not true.
Never say that America is more advanced country. Nowadays, in many cases, this is not the case.
* Never use profanity, especially around women. You will lose all credibility and be seen a low class.
Don't express yourself, especially in front of the ladies. You will lose all credibility and be perceived as a lowlife.
* Never sound like we are lecturing them. They wish to be seen as equals and resent greatly if someone appears to be better.
Speak in a way that doesn't sound like you're preaching to them. They want to talk on an equal footing and are very offended when someone seems better.
* When in Russian churches, women should wear scarves and conservative dresses.
In Russian churches, women are required to wear headscarves and modest clothing.
* It is considered bad luck to light a cigar from a candle on a restaurant table.
It is believed that lighting from a candle in a restaurant is unfortunate.
* Monday is considered a bad to begin a journey or business venture.
Monday is considered a bad day to start a business or train.
* A cat should be the first creature to cross the threshold of a new home.
The cat must be the first to cross the threshold of a new house.
* Women should never sit at the corner of a dinner table. It is felt they will never marry for seven years. It is also felt that such bad luck will come to men.
A woman should not sit on the corner of a table. It is believed that she will not marry for seven years after that. It is also believed that a similar misfortune will be for a man.
* Spitting three times over one's shoulders prevents bad news.
Spitting three times over your shoulder prevents bad news.
* Russians rarely point or wag a finger at others across a table. Never point or gesture with your knife or any implement during dinner. It is the height of rudeness and bad breeding.
Russians rarely point or wag a finger at another person at the table. Do not point with your finger, knife or other cutlery while eating. This is very rude and rude.
* If offered seconds, always accept, even if a small portion. It is an insult to refuse.
If they offer a supplement, do not refuse, at least from a small portion. It's insulting to refuse.
* If you are seated before the other guests arrive, arise to be introduced to them. Do not remain seated.
If you were sitting before someone entered, stand up to greet them. Don't sit.
* When giving a flower, remember to give an odd number of roses or flowers. Do not give an even number.
When giving flowers, give an odd number of roses or flowers. Don't give an even number.
* Do not wear bluejeans or t-shirts to a home of a business associate but can wear these to a dacha.
Do not wear jeans and a T-shirt when you go to visit a business partner, but you can dress like this when you go to the country.
* Snapping your finger against your neck indicates that someone else has or will be drinking alcohol.
Snapping fingers on the neck means that someone has had a drink or is about to drink.
* Do not speak or laugh too loudly in public.
Don't talk or laugh too loudly in public.
* Never pour wine backhanded. This is insulting.
Do not pour wine by hand. This is not appropriate.
* Do not wear your outdoor coat indoors.
Do not wear outdoor clothing indoors.
* Do not have luncheons on park lawns.
Don't picnic on the lawn.
* Always sit quietly for a moment of joint silence, if leaving for trip.
Sit quietly for a while before being late (to the track, I mean).
* Knock on wood three times to avoid bad luck.
Knock on wood three times to avoid trouble.

12. If you are invited for dinner make no other plans for that evening. You will be there a long time.

If you are invited to visit, do not plan anything for the evening. You will be there for a long time.

13. Toast are always for the hostess first, then for women and then for others. When you are ready to leave, there will be an order of “passashock”, which have a historical tradition to them. After toasts. clink glasses, unless you had non-alcoholic beverage in glass.

The first toast is always to the hostess, then to the women, then to the rest. When you are about to leave, it will be the turn of the "road", which is a historical tradition. After the toast, clink glasses if you have an alcoholic drink.

14. Always reconfirm all appointments.

Always confirm appointments. (meaning check again if everything is in force)

15. At concerts and events, applause will be rhythmic to show approval.

At concerts and events, applause will be rhythmic to show approval.

16. Russians will be aware of every person playing in the NHL, and often the NBA but will be completely baffled by American football(real football is soccer) or baseball. You will never be able to fully explain the rules of baseball, so try and learn something about hockey or basketball.

Russians know about every NHL player, and often the NBA, but they don't know anything about American football or baseball. It is unlikely that you will be able to fully explain the rules of baseball, so try to learn something about hockey or basketball.

17. Russians love to fish. If you are a fisherperson, or often a hunter, you are on the path to being considered a good human being in Russia.

Russians love fishing. If you are a fisherman or a hunter, you are on your way to being considered a good person in Russia.

18. Nothing is eve really considered broken in Russia, but simply has not yet been fixed.. This is true of cars, machines,etc. Russian are extremely, innovative because for years had to fix everything with no spare parts.

Nothing is considered completely broken. It is believed that everything can be somehow repaired. The Russians are super-inventive, went without spare parts for years and everything worked.

19. Russians often consider payoffs to service people as normal. It included a bottle to the plumber, payments to the doctor for special treatment. The concept of “blat”..It is better to have 100 friends than 100 rubles.

For Russians, remuneration for work is normal. This includes a bottle to the plumber, a doctor's reward for a special treatment. The concept of "blat". Don't have 100 rubles, but have 100 friends.

20. The true Russian comes out at the dacha(summerhouse). Potatoes and vegetables are planted and bottled. Like our lake houses. “Shashlik” done by men, with special recipes. Now developing year round places near cities. Often, the families will move to dacha for the summer.

A real Russian leaves for a dacha (summer house). Potatoes and vegetables are planted and watered. Like our cottages. “Shashlik” is prepared by men according to special recipes. Now houses are made for the whole year. Often, families go to the country for the whole summer.

21. Russians do not like lines. Will often push ahead to get to the front.

Russians don't like queues. They often push to get ahead.

22. You will see many women standing in apartment yards, gossiping and taking care of their children. The concept of “doing lunch” with other women is new and often limited to upper classes.

You will see that many women are walking in the courtyards of houses, gossiping and walking with children. The principle of going out to lunch to fray has taken root so far only among the cream of society.

23. People watch television, but don't believe what they see or read. They understand that information is controlled, but believe that is the normal way of life, which they have always known and don't have many other choices.

People watch TV but do not believe what they see and read. They understand that information is controlled, but they believe that this is normal, it has always been like this, and there is not much choice.

24. Russians will not share secrets with strangers. There is a tradition of not speaking openly on phone, if possible, but rather in person. There is a strong feeling that much information is private and they will share it only if have become trusted.

Russians don't share their secrets with strangers. Traditionally, people do not talk openly on the phone, preferring a face-to-face meeting. A lot of information is considered private and they will only share it with you if they trust you.

25. There is a zero sum mentality among many Russians. Often difficult to get different groups to work together, because they feel their ideas or position will be stolen.

The Russian mentality is a zero-sum game (meaning that the Russian has to either win or lose, there can be no compromise). It is often difficult to get different groups to work together because they feel that their ideas and positions are being stolen.

26. Russians have seen little benefit in Democracy and much of capitalism is seen as benefiting small groups of elites or criminals.

Russians saw little good in democracy and, in general, capitalism is perceived as a benefit for a small stratum of the elite and criminals.

27. Dancing in restaurants very popular. There will be guards to throw out drunks by about 10:00. This also cuts down on fight between drunks.

Dancing is popular in restaurants. There will also be guards who will kick out the drunk around 22:00. Sometimes everything ends in a fight between drunks.

28. Russians love to walk, even in winter in the center of Moscow and other cities.

Russians love to walk, even in winter in the center of Moscow and other cities.

29. Russians love ice cream, even in the coldest parts of the year.

Russians love ice cream even in the coldest seasons.

30. As part of wedding celebrations go to Sparrows Hill near Moscow State University or to Eternal Flame at Kremlin. Actual ceremonies very small with larger wedding parties following.

Part of the wedding ceremony is a trip to Sparrow Hills near Moscow State University or to the Eternal Flame near the Kremlin. The ceremonies themselves are rather short, but they are followed by extensive parties.

31. Many of new rich have homes in London, Spain, Cyprus and France.

Many nouveau riche have homes in London, Spain, Cyprus and France.

32. It is considered a sign of middle class success to go abroad two or three times per year.

A sign of belonging to the middle class are trips abroad 2-3 times a year.

33. Many Russian women believe Russian men lazy or won't cook or help around the house, or drink too much.

Many Russian women believe that a Russian man is lazy, won't cook or help around the house, or drinks too much.

34. Many women have had abortions—Do not see this as a moral or political issue and cannot understand why Americans discuss the issue.

Many of the women who have had abortions do not see it as a political or moral issue and do not understand why Americans are discussing this issue.

35. Many Russians are strongly anti-homosexual, but have known gay clubs and public officials.

Many Russians are actively against homosexuality, with well-known gay clubs and public figures.

36. See government as separate from citizens, not as “We the people” are the government.

Authorities are perceived separately from citizens, and not “We are the people” is power.

37. Just developing concept of long term credit and mortgages on houses and cars. Often pay fully or in two parts for houses.

The idea of ​​using long-term loans and mortgages to buy cars and houses is just starting to catch on. Often the purchase of houses is paid in one or two installments.

38. Still strong fear of failure. See failure as end and not just bump in road.

Still afraid of making mistakes/losing. See failure as the end of the road, not a pothole.

39. Love to have guests at homes or at dachas, but usually need to call ahead and set future time, rather than just dropping in because you were in neighborhood.

They like to receive guests at home or in the country, but it is usually advisable to call and warn about your visit in advance and set a time, rather than just drop in simply because you are in the neighborhood.

40. Make appointments but reconfirm a few days before, the day before the appointment, and often even the day of the meeting.

Make appointments, but confirm them a few days before the day of the meeting, and often on the day of the meeting itself.

41. Touching and walking arm in arm is considered acceptable for friends both male and female.

Walking hand in hand is considered normal for friends, regardless of gender.

42. Russians rarely speak with people they don't know on streets or metro, not like small town Minnesota.

Russians rarely strike up conversations with people they don't know, on the street or on the subway, unlike in small towns in Minnesota.

43. Coats are kept at the “gardarobe” at concerts and events…You will usually leave small tip for attendants.

Outerwear is rented to the “cloakroom” at concerts and events. Usually leave a small tip to the cloakroom attendants.

44. Russian tipping is usually smaller than our ten or fifteen percent…except at fancy restaurants.

Russian tips are usually less than our 10-15% ... the exception is pretentious restaurants.

45. Russian circuses are considered very special and being a clown is an honored profession.

The Russian circus is something special and the profession of a clown is considered honorable.

46. ​​Ethnicity is viewed differently in Russia than in US. There are White or great Russians and then everyone else. Caucasians are dark skinned and have most discrimination and looked down upon and often are the people you see working in public markets.

Views on nationality in Russia differ from the United States. First the Whites, or the great Russians, and then everyone else. Caucasians have dark skin, are the most discriminated against, are looked down upon and are often seen in markets.

47. Will do “Chuckchen” jokes..they are the Iowa jokes…

They tell jokes about the Chukchi ... something like our jokes about Iowa.

48. Stay away from demonstrations. May be seen as participant and you have no rights.

49. Americans are clearly identified on streets because of our shoes, haircuts, the way we look confident and walk and smile.

On the streets, Americans are easy to identify by their shoes, haircuts, they look calm, they walk slowly and smile.

50. People dress well at work men in suits and women in dresses and make up. Most Russians consider us unfashionable when they come her and wonder why there are so many fat people. There is an old Russian proverb which states” They want to meet you depending on how you’re dressd and they say goodbye depending upon how wise you seem.”

At work, people dress well: men in suits, women in dresses and makeup. Most Russians think we're unfashionable, they don't understand why we have so many fat people. There is an old Russian proverb “They meet by clothes, see them off by mind.”

51. Never do drugs in Russia. There is a strong drug culture, but if you are caught, you have no rights.

Do not use drugs in Russia. There is a strong drug culture, but if you get caught, you won't get away.

52. There are limits on taking money out of country…You can ask for declaration, or have bank statement and other times are just waved through..no problem taking money into Russia.

There are limits on the export of money from the country. You can declare the money, transfer it through a bank or just go through customs... there will be no problems bringing money into Russia.

53. Get to the airport early. Lines move slowly and they will take everything out of suitcases at Delta at Sheremetevo Airport.

Arrive at the airport early. The queues move slowly, it happens that everything is pulled out of the suitcases if you are flying through the Delta to Sheremetyevo.

54. Remember that hierarchy and position is very important in the Russian organization. Where you are in any organization often defines your status and that a distance exists both organizationally and psychologically between workers at different levels.

Remember that hierarchy and positions are very important in a Russian organization. The position in the organization often determines the status of a person and there is some distance among employees of different levels, both at the organizational and psychological levels.

They chose Russia: Stories from the life of foreigners in Russia

" Hans, 11 years old, German. I don't want to be "German"!
The very game of war jarred me and even frightened me. The fact that Russian children are enthusiastically playing it, I even saw from the window of our new house in a large garden on the outskirts. It seemed wild to me that boys of 10-12 years old could play murder with such passion. I even talked about this with Hans' class teacher, but she, quite unexpectedly, after listening to me carefully, asked if Hans played computer games with shooting and did I know what was shown on the screen? I was confused and couldn't find an answer. At home, I mean, in Germany, I was not very happy that he sits a lot with such toys, but at least he was not drawn to the street, and I could be calm for him. In addition, a computer game is not a reality, but here everything happens with living children, isn't it? I even wanted to say this, but suddenly I acutely felt that I was wrong, for which I also had no words. The class teacher looked at me very attentively, but in a kind way, and then said softly and confidentially: “Listen, it will be unusual for you here, understand. But your son is not you, he is a boy, and if you do not interfere with his growth, like the children here, then nothing bad will happen to him - except perhaps also only unusual. But in fact, bad things, I think, are the same both here and in Germany.” It seemed to me that these were wise words, and I calmed down a little.

Before, the son had never played war or even held a toy weapon in his hands. It must be said that he did not often ask me for any gifts, being content with what I bought for him or what he bought with pocket money. But then he very persistently began to ask me for a toy machine gun, because he does not like to play with strangers, although he is given weapons by one boy who he really likes - he named the boy, and I disliked this new friend in advance. But I didn’t want to refuse, especially since, after sitting over the calculations from the very beginning, I realized an amazing thing: life in Russia is cheaper than ours, its external surroundings and some kind of carelessness and unkemptness are just very unusual. On the May weekend (there are several of them here), we went shopping; Hans's new friend joined us, and I was forced to change my mind about him, although not immediately, because he appeared barefoot, and on the street, walking next to the boys, I was taut like a string - it seemed to me every second that now we will just be detained, and I will have to explain that I am not the mother of this boy. But despite his appearance, he turned out to be very educated and cultured. In addition, in Australia, I saw that many children also walk in this way.

The purchase was made with skill, with a discussion of the weapon and even its fitting. I felt like the leader of a gang. In the end, we bought some kind of pistol (the boys called it, but I forgot) and an automatic machine, exactly the same as our German soldiers used in the last World War. Now my son was armed and could take part in the fighting.

Later, I learned that the fighting itself brought him a lot of grief at first. The fact is that Russian children have a tradition of dividing in such a game into teams with the names of real peoples - as a rule, those with whom the Russians fought. And, of course, it is considered honorary to be “Russian”, because of the division into teams, even fights arise. After Hans brought his new weapon of such a characteristic type into the game, he was immediately recorded in the “Germans”. I mean, into Hitler's Nazis, which, of course, he did not want

They objected to him, and from the point of view of logic it is quite reasonable: “Why don’t you want to, you’re German!” "But I'm not that German!" yelled my unfortunate son. He has already managed to watch several very unpleasant films on television, and although I understand that what is shown there is true, and we are really to blame, it is difficult for an eleven-year-old boy to explain this: he flatly refused to be such a German.

Rescued Hans, and the whole game, the same boy, a new friend of my son. I convey his words as Hans conveyed them to me - apparently, literally: “Then you know what ?! We will all fight against the Americans together!”
This is a completely crazy country. But I love it here and so does my boy.

Max, 13 years old, German. Burglary from a neighbor's cellar (not the first burglary on his account, but the first in Russia)

The attendant who came to us was very polite. This is generally a common place among Russians - they treat foreigners from Europe timidly, politely, wary, it takes a lot of time to be recognized as “their own”. But the things he said scared us. It turns out that Max has committed a CRIMINAL CRIMINAL - BREAKING! And we are lucky that he is not yet 14 years old, otherwise the question of a real prison term of up to five years could be considered! That is, he was separated from the crime by the full responsibility of those three days that remained until his birthday! We didn't believe our ears. It turns out that in Russia from the age of 14 you can really go to jail! We regretted coming. To our timid questions - they say, how is it, why should a child answer from such an age - the district police officer was surprised, we simply did not understand each other. We are used to the fact that in Germany the child is in a super-priority position, the maximum that would threaten Max for this in his old homeland is a preventive conversation. However, the district police officer said that after all, it is unlikely that the court would have appointed our son a real prison term even after 14 years; this is very rarely done the first time for crimes not related to an attempt on the security of the person. We were also lucky that the neighbors did not write a statement (in Russia this plays a big role - even more serious crimes are not considered without a statement from the injured party), and we will not even have to pay a fine. We were also surprised by the combination of such a cruel law and such a strange position of people who do not want to use it. After hesitating just before leaving, the district police officer asked if Max was prone to antisocial behavior at all. I had to admit that I was inclined, moreover, he didn’t like it in Russia, but this, of course, is connected with the period of growing up and should pass with age. To which the district police officer noted that the boy had to be torn out after his first antics, and that was the end of it, and not wait until he grew into a thief. And left.

We were also struck by this wish from the mouth of the law enforcement officer. To be honest, we did not even think at that moment how close we were to fulfilling the officer's wishes.

Immediately after his departure, the husband spoke to Max and demanded that he go to the neighbors, apologize and offer to work off the damage. A grandiose scandal began - Max flatly refused to do so. I will not describe further - after another very rude attack on our son, the husband did exactly as the district policeman advised. Now I realize that it looked and was more funny than it is actually harsh, but then it amazed me and shocked Max. When my husband let him go - himself shocked by what he had done - our son ran into the room. Apparently, it was a catharsis - it suddenly dawned on him that his father was much stronger physically, that he had nowhere and no one to complain about "parental violence", that he was REQUIRED to repair the damage himself, that he was one step away from real court and prison. In the room he was crying, not for show, but for real. We sat in the living room like two statues, feeling like real criminals, moreover, taboo breakers. We waited for a demanding knock on the door. Terrible thoughts swirled in our heads - that our son would stop trusting us, that he would commit suicide, that we had inflicted severe mental trauma on him - in general, a lot of those words and formulas that we had memorized in psychotraining before Max was born.

Max did not come out for dinner and shouted, still with tears, what he would eat in his room. To my surprise and horror, my husband replied that in this case, Max would not get dinner, and if he did not sit at the table in a minute, he would not get breakfast either.

Max left after half a minute. I've never seen him like this before. However, I didn’t see my husband like that either - he sent Max to wash and ordered, when he returned, to first ask for forgiveness, and then permission to sit down at the table. I was amazed - Max did all this, sullenly, not raising his eyes to us. Before starting to eat, the husband said: “Listen, son. Russians bring up their children this way, and I will bring you up this way. The nonsense is over. I don't want you to go to jail, I think you don't want that either, and you heard what the officer said. But I also don't want you to grow up to be an insensitive bum. And here I do not care about your opinion. Tomorrow you will go to your neighbors with apologies and will work where and how they say. Until you work off the amount you robbed them of. You understood me?"

Max was silent for a few seconds. Then he looked up and answered quietly, but clearly: “Yes, dad.” ...

... You won't believe it, but not only did we no longer need such wild scenes as the one played out in the living room after the police officer left - our son seemed to have been replaced. At first, I was even afraid of this change. It seemed to me that Max harbored a grudge. And only a month later I realized that there was nothing like that. And I also realized something much more important. In our house and at our expense for many years lived a small (and not very small) despot and loafer, who did not trust us at all and did not look at us as friends, as we were convinced by those by whose methods we “brought him up” ”- he secretly despised us and skillfully used us. And it was we who were to blame for this - we were to blame for the fact that we behaved with him in the way that “authoritative specialists” inspired us. On the other hand, did we have a choice in Germany? No, it wasn't, I honestly tell myself. There, on guard of our fear and Max's childish egoism, there was an absurd law. Here there is a choice. We made it, and it turned out to be true. We are happy, and most importantly, Max is really happy. He got parents. And my husband and I have a son. And we are FAMILY.
Mikko, 10 years old, Finn. Snitched on classmates

Four of his classmates beat him up. As we understood, they were not beaten very hard, knocked down and knocked with backpacks. The reason was that Mikko had stumbled upon two of them smoking in the garden behind the school. He was also offered to smoke, he refused and immediately informed the teacher about it. She punished the little smokers by taking away their cigarettes and forcing them to clean the floors in the classroom (which in itself amazed us in this story). She didn't name Mikko, but it was easy to guess who told them about them.

The next day, Mikko was beaten up. Pretty strong. I couldn't find my place. My husband also suffered, I saw it. But to our amazement and joy of Mikko, there was no fight a day later. He ran home very cheerful and excitedly said that he had done as his father had ordered, and no one began to laugh, only someone grunted: “Enough, everyone has already heard ...” The strangest thing in my opinion is that from that moment the class took our son completely for his own, and no one reminded him of that conflict.

Zorko, 13 years old, Serbian. On the carelessness of Russians

Zorko really liked the country itself. The fact is that he does not remember what happens when there is no war, explosions, terrorists and other things. He was born just during the Patriotic War of 1999 and actually lived all his life behind barbed wire in an enclave, and I had a machine gun hanging over my bed. Two shotguns with buckshot lay on a cabinet by the outer window. Until we got two guns registered here, Zorko was in constant anxiety. He was also alarmed that the windows of the room overlooked the forest. In general, getting into a world where no one shoots except in the forest on a hunt was a real revelation for him. Our eldest girl and younger brother Zorko accepted everything much faster and calmer due to their age.

But most of all my son was struck and horrified by the fact that Russian children are incredibly careless. They are ready to be friends with anyone, as Russian adults say, "if only the person was good." Vigilantly quickly got along with them, and the fact that he stopped living in constant expectation of war is mainly their merit. But he never stopped carrying a knife with him, and even with his light hand, almost all the boys from his class began to carry some kind of knives with them. Just because boys are worse than monkeys, imitation is in their blood.

So that's about carelessness. Several Muslims from different nations study at the school. Russian children are friends with them. Vigilantly from the very first day, he set a boundary between himself and the “Muslims” - he does not notice them if they are far enough away, if they are nearby - he pushes them away, repels them in order to get somewhere, sharply and clearly threatens with beatings even in response to an ordinary look, saying that they have no right to raise their eyes to a Serb and a “pravoslavist” in Russia. Russian children were astonished by such behavior, we even had some, although small, problems with the school authorities. These Muslims themselves are quite peaceful, I would even say - polite people. I talked to my son, but he told me that I want to deceive myself and that I told him myself that in Kosovo they were also polite and peaceful at first, while they were few. He also told Russian boys about this many times and keeps repeating that they are too kind and too careless. He really likes it here, he literally thawed out, but at the same time, my son is convinced that war awaits us here too. And, it seems, is preparing to fight seriously.

Ann, 16, and Bill, 12, are Americans. What is work?

Offers to work as a babysitter caused people either bewilderment or laughter. Ann was extremely upset and very surprised when I explained to her, having become interested in the problem, that it is not customary for Russians to hire people to supervise children over 7-10 years old - they themselves play, walk on their own and generally outside of school or some circles and sections left to themselves. And younger children are most often watched by grandmothers, sometimes by mothers, and only for very young children, wealthy families sometimes hire nannies, but these are not high school girls, but women with solid experience who earn a living from this.

So my daughter was left without a job. Terrible loss. Terrible Russian customs.

After a short time, the blow was dealt to Bill as well. Russians are a very strange people, they do not mow their lawns and do not hire children to deliver mail ... The job that Bill found turned out to be “work on a plantation” - for five hundred rubles he dug up a hefty garden with a hand shovel from some nice old woman for half a day. What he turned his hands into looked like bloody chops. However, unlike Ann, the son reacted to this rather with humor and already quite seriously noticed that this could become a good business when his hands get used to it, you just need to put up ads, preferably in color. He offered Ann to join the weeding business—again, hand-pulling the weeds—and they immediately got into a fight.

Charlie and Charlene, 9 years old, Americans. Features of the Russian worldview in rural areas.

The Russians have two unpleasant features. The first is that in conversation they strive to grab you by the elbow or shoulder. Second, they drink incredibly much. No, I know that in fact many peoples on Earth drink more than Russians. But Russians drink very openly and even with some kind of pleasure.

However, these shortcomings seemed to be redeemed by the wonderful locality in which we settled. It was just a fairy tale. True, the settlement itself resembled a settlement from a disaster movie. My husband said that it's like this almost everywhere and that you shouldn't pay attention to it - the people here are good.

I didn't really believe it. And our twins were, it seemed to me, a little frightened by what was happening.

What completely horrified me was that on the very first day of school, when I was just about to pick up the twins in our car (it was about a mile to school), they were already brought straight to the house by some not quite sober man in a creepy half-rusty jeep similar to old Fords. Before me, he apologized for something long and verbose, referred to some holidays, scattered in praise of my children, said hello from someone and left. I attacked my innocent angels, who were stormily and cheerfully discussing the first day of school, with strict questions: didn’t I tell them enough that they should NEVER DARE EVEN CLOSE TO STRANGERS PEOPLE ?! How could they get into the car with this man?!

In response, I heard that this is not a stranger, but the head of the school household, who has golden hands and whom everyone loves very much, and whose wife works as a cook in the school cafeteria. I died of horror. I gave my children to a brothel!!! And everything seemed so cute at first sight ... Numerous stories from the press about the wild customs reigning in the Russian outback were spinning in my head ...

... I will not further intrigue you. Life here turned out to be really wonderful, and especially wonderful for our children. Although I'm afraid I got a lot of gray hair because of their behavior. It was incredibly difficult for me to get used to the very idea that nine-year-old (and ten-, and so on later) my children, according to local customs, are considered, firstly, more than independent. They go for a walk with the local children for five, eight, ten hours - two, three, five miles, in the forest or on a terrible, completely wild pond. That everyone here walks to and from school, and they soon began to do the same - I just don’t mention it anymore. And secondly, here children are largely considered common. They can, for example, go with the whole company to visit someone and have lunch right there - not drink something and eat a couple of cookies, namely, have a hearty lunch, purely in Russian. In addition, in fact, every woman in whose field of vision they fall immediately takes responsibility for other people's children somehow completely automatically; For example, I learned to do this only in the third year of our stay here.

NOTHING EVER HAPPENS TO KIDS HERE. I mean, they are not in any danger from humans. From none. In big cities, as far as I know, the situation is more similar to the American one, but here it is exactly the same. Of course, children themselves can cause considerable harm to themselves, and at first I tried to somehow control it, but it turned out to be simply impossible. At first, I was struck by how soulless our neighbors were, who, when asked where their child was, answered quite calmly “running somewhere, he’ll jump to dinner!” Lord, in America this is a jurisdictional case, such an attitude! It took a long time before I realized that these women are much wiser than me, and their children are much more adapted to life than mine - at least as they were at the beginning.

We Americans pride ourselves on our skills, abilities, and practicality. But, having lived here, I realized with sadness that this is a sweet self-deception. Maybe it used to be like that. Now we - and especially our children - are slaves of a comfortable cage, through the bars of which a current is passed, completely preventing the normal, free development of a person in our society. If Russians are somehow weaned from drinking, they will easily and without a single shot conquer the entire modern world. I say this responsibly.

Adolf Breivik, 35, Swedish Father of three children.

The fact that Russians, adults, can quarrel and scandal, that a hot hand can blow up a wife, and a wife whip a child with a towel - BUT THAT THEY ALL REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER AND EACH OTHER WITHOUT A OTHER THEY ARE BAD - in the head of a person remade under the standards accepted in our native lands simply do not fit. I will not say that I approve of this, such behavior of many Russians. I don't think that beating a wife and physically punishing children is the right way, and I myself have never done it and will not do it. But I just urge you to understand: the family here is not just a word. From Russian orphanages, children run away to their parents. Of our slyly named "surrogate families" - almost never. Our children are so accustomed to the fact that they essentially have no parents, that they calmly obey everything that any adult person does with them. They are not capable of rebellion, or escape, or resistance, even when it comes to their life or health - they are accustomed to the fact that they are not the property of the family, but EVERYONE AT ONCE.

Russian children are running. They often run into appalling living conditions. At the same time, the orphanages in Russia are not at all as scary as we used to imagine. Regular and plentiful food, computers, entertainment, care and supervision. Nevertheless, escapes “home” are very, very frequent and are fully understood even among those who, on duty, return children back to the orphanage. “What do you want? - they say words that are completely unimaginable for our policeman or guardianship worker. - There's a HOUSE. But it must be taken into account that in Russia there is not even close to that anti-family arbitrariness that reigns in our country. In order for a Russian child to be taken to an orphanage, it should actually be TERRIBLE in his family, believe me.

It is difficult for us to understand that, in general, a child who is often beaten by his father, but at the same time takes him fishing with him and teaches him how to use tools and fiddle with a car or motorcycle - can be much happier and in fact much happier than a child whom his father did not lay a finger on, but whom he sees fifteen minutes a day at breakfast and dinner. This will sound seditious to a modern Westerner, but it's true, believe my experience as a resident of two paradoxically different countries. We tried so hard to create a “safe world” for our children on someone’s unkind orders that we destroyed everything human in ourselves and in them. Only in Russia did I really understand, I realized with horror that all those words that are used in my old homeland, destroying families, are in fact a mixture of utter stupidity generated by a sick mind and the most disgusting cynicism generated by a thirst for encouragement and fear of losing one's place in the guardianship. Speaking of "protecting children", officials in Sweden - and not only in Sweden - destroy their souls. They destroy shamelessly and madly. There I could not say it openly. Here - I say: my unfortunate homeland is seriously ill with abstract, speculative "children's rights", for the sake of which happy families are killed and living children are maimed.

Home, father, mother - for a Russian, these are not just words-concepts. These are symbolic words, almost sacred spells.

It's amazing that we don't. We do not feel connected to the place where we live, even a very comfortable place. We don't feel connected to our children, they don't need to connect with us. And, in my opinion, all this was taken from us on purpose. That's one of the reasons why I came here. In Russia, I can feel like a father and husband, my wife - mother and wife, our children - beloved children. We are people, free people, and not hired employees of the State Limited Liability Corporation “Family”. And it's very nice. It is purely psychologically comfortable. To such an extent that it redeems a whole bunch of shortcomings and absurdities of life here.

Honestly, I believe that a brownie lives in our house, left over from the previous owners. Russian brownie, kind. And our kids believe in it."

Everything that seems familiar in Russia sometimes shocks residents of other countries. The attitude of mothers towards children is no exception. Let's look at Russian mothers through the eyes of foreigners.

About Russian education

American Tanya Mayer, who lived in Russia for many years and published the book “Shapka, babushka, kefir. How children are brought up in Russia, ”says that Russian education is fundamentally different from European and American. Some things she liked, and some not so much. So, what is peculiar only to Russian mothers?

They choose to breastfeed more often

If a Russian woman has milk, then she is likely to feed the baby herself. And it is unlikely that soon after the birth he will go to work, giving the child to a nursery or nannies, as often happens in the same America. In Russia, it is customary to prefer a family to a career.

They have little hope for the help of the father of the child

In Western countries on weekends you can see a lot of men walking with children in the parks. In Russia, mothers traditionally take care of children more than fathers. If the husband helps with the child "in full", then this is regarded more as an exception than as a rule. Many women try not to trust children to dads at all, as they are convinced that a man will do everything wrong.

They often entrust children to grandmothers

In the West, this is simply not accepted. There, grandmothers do not sit with their grandchildren, but live their own lives, for example, go to various clubs of interest, travel. We have to call and ask: “Mom, can I leave Mishka with you until the evening?” in the order of things. On the contrary, if the grandmother has other plans and she refuses to take care of her grandson, the Russian mother will be mortally offended.

They love to go out with the kids

Russian mothers are convinced that the more the child is in the fresh air, the better for him. Therefore, they walk with the children for hours. They try to spend the summer in the country, if it is not possible, send the child to the grandmother in the village “for vitamins”.

They carefully monitor the nutrition of children

Most Russian mothers try to follow the principles of healthy eating for their children - even if they themselves eat fast food. May limit strawberries, citrus fruits, or chocolate if the child is allergic to them. It is rare that mothers give their child ice cream and drink cold drinks - they are convinced that the baby will have a sore throat from this.

They are weird about treating children

Many women in Russia oppose childhood vaccinations. And they prefer to treat children not with pills, but with folk remedies and homeopathy - less "chemistry". It also seemed wild to Tanya Meyer: after all, law-abiding Americans are used to running to doctors just a little bit and fully complying with their prescriptions ... In addition, Russian mothers often travel with their children, and it is very risky to take an unvaccinated baby to other countries, she believes Mayer.

They love to send their children to extracurricular circles and sections.

In Europe, it is customary to trust a child to a kindergarten or school, and if he goes to circles, then usually at this institution. In our country, they certainly strive to enroll children in an art studio or dancing at a cultural center, in a music school, in foreign language classes ... It is believed that the more extra-curricular activities a child attends, the more prestigious.

They are constantly raising children

Do not champ at the table!”, “Do not walk through the puddles!”, “Behave yourself!” The fact that Russian mothers constantly make remarks to their children, yell at them and even sometimes spank them in front of everyone, makes unprepared foreigners dumbfounded.

In Japan, children under the age of five are generally allowed to do almost everything, and in most Western countries, they are reprimanded only in very egregious cases. If a child, say, eats with his hands or screams too loudly, then often they simply do not pay attention to this.

They punish not only their own, but also other people's children.

“Once in Moscow, my son was naughty, and one nanny loudly clapped him on the palm - they say, it’s impossible,” Mayer recalls. - I asked that woman not to do this anymore, to which she was surprised: “What's wrong? That's the way we do it!"

Indeed, in Russia, a woman can make a sharp remark to her child's friend or even hit him for some kind of misconduct, and this does not always become a reason for complaints and proceedings. In the West, it is believed that you can only raise your own children. If something does not suit you - go complain to the parents of the child, but in no case do not touch it yourself!

31.03.2015

An American wrote a book about the experience of motherhood in Moscow. She is confident that Russia can supply the West with the technology of Russian motherhood.

When Tanya Mayer, a former investment banker and now 38-year-old mother of three, told her Russian acquaintances that she was going to write a book about Russian motherhood, she was told that this should not be done, because mothers in Russia are bad.

On the playground they scream at their children wrapped in a hundred sweaters, at home they pamper too much, from school they expect only excellent grades.

About the fear of the past

“The most vivid memories of my pregnancy in Russia are associated with the ubiquitous advice and concern of other people. Everyone asked about their well-being. Even the shop assistants became a little friendlier, especially when they noticed that I wasn't wearing a wedding ring.

In Russia, pregnant women are not allowed to carry weights, men open doors for them and give up their seats on the subway. Here they say that pregnancy is not a disease, but despite this, others treat a woman in a position with respect and care. Maternity leave is planned in such a way as to give the new mother the opportunity to relax and prepare for childbirth.

I’m curious what American women who work until childbirth would say to this in order to stay with the already born baby as long as possible (in the USA, maternity leave lasts 3 months. - Approx. ed.).

There are many superstitions in Russia. They probably take their roots from village traditions. My friend Tanya, a well-educated girl, a teacher at Moscow State University, admitted that during both pregnancies she did not cut her hair, because cutting her hair while you are expecting a baby is a bad omen.

Russian women can spend hours telling scary stories about pregnancy and childbirth in the USSR. They are passed down from one generation to the next, and this probably makes modern moms more collected. I was amazed at what costs - both financial and time - Russian women are ready to find a suitable clinic. Maternity hospitals are changing, but they are still far from European standards. One girl told how in 2002 in the obstetrics department she was forced to wipe off the varnish from her nails, completely shaved her intimate area and put an enema!

Mom and newborn

“There is an old belief that the first 40 days of a baby can only be shown to the husband, sometimes grandparents and no one else. This custom is connected with the fact that in the old days the child was hidden from strangers until baptism. There is also a practical meaning: Russian mothers treat the newborn as a very fragile creature, which is important to hide from friends and relatives, to keep in peace and quiet.

I watched an American reality show where two dozen relatives went to the hospital to visit a young mother, and then the mother and baby who returned home were greeted with a barbecue party for 40 people. I'm sure if you show these programs to a Russian mother, she won't believe it.

One of the latest Russian novelties for young mothers is a special postpartum swaddling. A postpartum recovery specialist comes to your home and wraps you very tightly. It is said that this method "helps the organs to fall into place" and returns the body to its prenatal form. Another new trend is the use of soft Japanese diapers.”

About grandmothers and nannies

“Grandmothers in the West are more needed for entertainment than for help. My own mother - she is now 71 - is a typical example of such grandmothers who collect photos of their grandchildren and fly to visit twice a year for a few days. Gifts, a couple of rounds of Monopoly - and home.

When my children were babies, I asked her for advice - for example, how to calm a daughter who was crying from colic, what kind of food she gave me when I was a baby - and was shocked when she said she did not remember anything. She walked around my apartment in London and only repeated that she breastfed me for up to nine months. In Russian families, grandmothers begin to help mothers immediately after discharge. They sit with babies, do housework, and mom has time for herself.

When I arrived in Moscow with a two-month-old baby in my arms and I had to go to work full time, I fell into despair. I would give a child to anyone just to get a few hours of sleep. As a result, I entrusted it to a middle-aged Ossetian with a broken Russian, but a kind heart. I also hired a second nanny who worked for many years in the public kindergarten.

Intuitively, I always trusted the Ossetian nanny more, because I saw her sincere love for my son. Of course, she had flaws, but she did nothing on purpose - she just had her own position on many issues. The behavior of the second nanny worried me, and in the end I fired her because she treated my child as if he went to a state kindergarten - feed, walk, put to bed and no love.

About treatment and nutrition

“It never ceases to amaze me that often a Russian mother trusts the advice of friends more than doctors. Frankly, I do not defend people who self-medicate: I am sure that if a child is sick, he must be shown to the doctor and follow his prescriptions. But I take my hat off to Russian mothers who are not too lazy to read about diseases, seek out information about health and bombard doctors with questions.

Russian moms try to avoid medication whenever possible, and yet, unlike Western moms, they have an encyclopedic knowledge of medication. On the other hand, many of them continue to believe that vaccination is not safe and prefer that their children remain "clean".

In Russia, even babies eat a lot of porridge, not to mention older children. Kasha is a traditional Russian superfood. The most traditional of these is buckwheat, which is served with a piece of butter melting on top. For lunch there should be first, second and kompot. For the first, of course, only soup.

Olga, a mother of three and a very stylish girl, once shared an amazing photo with me. On it, Olga's children, a two-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son, drank homemade compote, a beautiful orange-colored drink brewed from - get ready! - dried apricots, raisins, rose hips, figs, with the addition of cloves and anise.

Seeing this, I began to think about those boxes of apple juice that we give to our children. I felt ashamed: we all must cook Russian compote for our children. Believe me, it will be a great addition to a rainy evening when the whole family decided to stay at home.

In addition to the obligatory soup for lunch, mothers cook fish for their babies - almost immediately after they learn to chew. More recently, a Russian mom mentioned in a conversation that she cooked for dinner for her one-year-old child: fried cod and broccoli in a light creamy sauce. Impressive? Me - exactly. I have never met a single person in Russia who did not like fish. Once I shared with an American mother of many children that my children love sea bass. She looked at me like I was from Mars!”

Fundamentals of life - in the sandbox

“Practically every playground in Russia has a sandbox. This is a cult place where kids meet each other, and nannies, grandmothers and mothers stand aside and watch the children. It is in sandboxes that Russian children learn the first rules. Each kid has his own toys, and a parent should teach his child to share them with other children and just as politely ask permission to play with others.

Even before they start going to kindergarten, kids socialize in sandboxes. If your child is too playful and, say, starts throwing sand, biting and pushing, then everyone present will certainly look at you with reproach and the army of grandmothers will make a remark about your child’s manners.

About the sexuality of Russian mothers

Pamela Druckerman, author of French Kids Don't Spit Food, wrote in The New York Times after a visit to Moscow that mothers in high-heeled shoes came to the presentation of her book. Yes, this is what catches the eye: Russian women always look good, whether they go to the store or for a romantic dinner.

It is not at all uncommon in America or Great Britain that a woman, having become a mother, devotes herself completely to a child. In Russia, mothers also do everything for their children, but at the same time they do not lose their beauty, build a career and still feel like women. What is their secret? There are several. Russia is a huge country where almost the entire population grew up in small apartments. At home, everyone usually wears simple clothes - comfortable slippers, sweatpants.

On the street, they change into clothes “to go out”: in Moscow it is not customary to walk around in sweatpants and sneakers. No, of course, some wear sneakers, but certainly chosen according to the latest fashion trends to fit the hipster look. Russia is a country where shows are loved, and life there in a sense resembles a performance.”

Russian popes

“In Russia, a dad is such a bonus: it’s great when he is and is actively involved in family life, but there will be no tragedy when a mother raises a child alone. On playgrounds in Vienna and London, I often heard mothers complain about their husbands. Perhaps this is our mistake: we expect too much from fathers.

We often want dads to stay with their children, completely replacing, say, a nanny for a while. We forget that men are masculine, and we do not accept their masculinity. Therefore, Western dads often look depressed, trying to follow all the orders of their wives. Russian mothers, on the contrary, put their father on a pedestal: they are happy when they help them with the housework or with the children.

When a Russian family has a dad, they are the main earners. They also have a duty to set a good example for future generations and, of course, to play with children. The Russian Pope has unquestioning authority. Moms, according to my observations, are very grateful for everything they do for the family. They understand that men have a different role in parenting and don't get hung up on things that their husbands can't help with. It is clear that it is much more pleasant for dads to hear words of praise from their wife, to feel that they are good parents, than to constantly listen to criticism.

Preschool

“Home entertainment in Russia is focused on mind games - I'm impressed by the number of children who play chess from an early age. More recently, I discovered Swedish walls, which were very popular in the USSR. Parents could build a small sports complex from metal beams, ropes, rings and ladders - a kind of mini-jungle in the corner of the living room. There, the children did gymnastics - a great option for long winter evenings.

In general, Russian children have a wonderful long childhood, but as soon as they turn seven, school begins and with it real work. From the first grade, it involves discipline and a serious workload and no talk about "emotional comfort." Every child learns mathematics, Russian and English. After school, everyone does their homework without fail. Sounds a little old-fashioned, but I have to admit that these methods work: if you compare an ordinary Russian child with an American or an Englishman, then his level of education is much higher.

Dictionary of Russian parenthood

“Shapka in Russia is not just an ordinary hat. I dare say that there is no child in Russia who would go out without her on the street during the first years of life. Traditionally, gorshok training begins immediately after the child begins to sit, that is, at the age of 6-10 months.

Massage is for kids, not moms! My son was 3 or 4 months old when they started asking us at the playground for massages. I did not understand the question: massage for children? But I soon found out that it is normal if the baby goes through a whole course of massage. To do this, you can hire a specialist or learn how to massage yourself.

Babushka is not just a grandmother. Often the babushka plays a central role in the upbringing of her grandchildren, almost the same as the mother, and sometimes even more.

The tights are made from cotton. These are warm, tight-fitting pants, and you can easily imagine them if you think of a cold winter. Tights in Russia are worn by all children in winter, regardless of gender. The dictionary also contains the words soska, poldnik, nyanya, banya, dacha, kasha, soupchik, gulyat’.”