Devastation and lack of mental strength. How to get rid of the feeling of emptiness Why a person feels empty

Getting tired of spending time with your partner is not a pleasant feeling. How to understand that you are completely devastated by your current relationship? What signs indicate that your partner is an energy vampire? It is often very difficult to distinguish between fatigue from work and lack of change from exhaustion from relationships. Niki Martinez, a psychology and interpersonal relationship expert, and many other experts share tips on how to recognize signs of energetic depletion in a relationship.

1. You constantly think about your partner.

Your partner can drain you emotionally when you spend too much time focusing on obsessive thoughts. Such thoughts completely deprive you of air and personal space, when you cannot sleep all night, thinking where your partner is, with whom, what he is doing, what type of relationship connects him and the people with whom he communicates.

Of course, this is not the partner’s fault, because this may be a problem that you learned from a previous relationship. This is both good and bad at the same time. Good, because you can work on this yourself. It's bad because you carry the burden of this problem everywhere, constantly trying to stop depending on these thoughts.

2. You feel tired all the time

We all have energy that we need to exist. Psychotherapist and neuromarketing expert Michelle Paiva comments:

Our cells are filled with energy. When we feel bad, we feel tired. When we are full of life, we feel energetic. If your partner makes you feel like you have a cold and not on top of the world, then you can be sure that he is draining you emotionally.

But just because you feel tired from being around someone all the time doesn't mean it's time to break up.

The point is that you are most likely giving too much, and not necessarily to your partner. If you are expending too much energy, just slow down, but if your partner is taking everything, ask him to slow down. Your energy belongs only to you, and no one can take it for free.

3. You dream of being alone

You breathe a sigh of relief when you get the chance to spend the weekend alone. If you're spending more energy on your partner and their needs, then a break sounds much more rational than a breakup.

Of course, there is a downside to this, because if you are impatiently waiting for your partner to leave you alone, then you should think about the value of your relationship as a whole.

If a weekend alone is a reason for fireworks and shouts of “Yeehoo,” if you are overjoyed at the opportunity to be alone, then this is a sign that your partner is emotionally destroying you. Of course, a break is good, but if you don't get bored when your partner is not around, then it's time to think about the meaning of your relationship.

4. Your partner doesn't fulfill you emotionally.

The easiest way to tell if your partner is taking all of your energy is to immerse yourself in how you feel when you spend time together. In most cases, we are accustomed to not noticing how we feel moment by moment, however, the important things come from the little things. A text your partner sent you or going somewhere together will all trigger feelings that will help you decide how your partner influences your emotions.

Over time, the days that were special to you will become routine and no longer give you those butterflies in your stomach. But it’s worth asking yourself, does this fact make you feel emotionally drained? Do you really put off answering calls and messages or do you avoid spending time together? Even the shortest answer or phrase can show how your relationship affects your emotional state. By answering these questions for yourself and analyzing your feelings, you can understand whether you are filled with positive emotions when you are together. If you feel empty, take this call and talk to your partner.

5. You need time to unwind from a date.

You are near an energy vampire if you feel physically exhausted.

So says interpersonal relationship consultant Dr. Jennifer Rhodes.

Emotionally sensitive people usually do not immediately notice the signs that someone is draining their strength. If you just ended a date and you're feeling exhausted, take some time to think things through. How do you usually spend your day and why do you need a whole weekend to recuperate? Try to figure out who exactly is taking your energy. If this is your partner, you might want to consider making changes.

6. You always feel like your partner is demanding too much.

If you are emotionally overwhelmed by your partner's demands and feel that this is too much, then it is worth noting that this is not just about him. Perhaps there is nothing reprehensible in his style of behavior, it’s just that your reaction does not match his. What is normal for one may be too much for another. Constantly fighting over these misunderstandings is another sign that you are emotionally exhausted. Everyone has their own limit and boundaries of personal comfort, it is worth taking them into account if you want to be together.

7. Conversations wear you out

If you are tired of conversations with your partner, then rest assured, this definitely indicates emotional devastation, the cause of which may be your partner.

Relationship expert Noah Van Hockman says this:

It can start with feeling tired and then develop into irritation. Perhaps you are really just tired, but if this situation repeats regularly, then soon any little things will bother you. If after every argument you want to say: “It doesn’t matter,” and then leave, slamming the door, then you are definitely dealing with an energy vampire.

8. You feel like you are emotionally dependent on your partner.

If you feel that every time you ask your partner for support or simply share your feelings, the relationship begins to crack, then it is possible that your partner is the one using your energy. Life coach Kali Rogers writes:

We all need the opportunity to learn about our partner, share our experiences and receive support. If you know that even a small request for advice can cause an explosion, you need to reevaluate the seriousness of your relationship. Of course, you can’t rely on your partner for everything, because he has his own feelings, but in a difficult moment, when you need his support, he should be there. You should do the same.

9. Your partner doesn't meet your needs.

If your partner refuses to listen to you, constantly argues, defending his opinion, then sooner or later you will feel that you are emotionally exhausted, and your desires and needs are left unattended. Stephanie Safran founder of Stef and the city says:

If you've noticed the fact that in a relationship you do most of the listening and you don't, you need to consider whether the relationship is worth it. Relationships are like two-way traffic, where you give and receive, and if you don't feel it, then you are already emotionally drained.

Emotional devastation is a very serious thing that can lead to depression. People entering into relationships must understand that the further they go, the stronger their emotional connection should become, and this is a lot of work. The desire to listen, come to the rescue, support and please is not only a man’s prerogative, but also a natural need to be close to a partner and maintain a relationship. If the boundaries established in a couple for each of their partners are regularly violated, of course, this is not a reason for separation, but it is an incentive for a heart-to-heart conversation. People are different, some give a lot, while others don’t know how to give at all, you need to look for a compromise. But if you understand that your relationship is one big sacrifice and a source of constant stress, think carefully about why this happened and take action.

In the life of every man there are seconds that last for minutes and all this continues for hours, days, months, and sometimes even years, and the cause of all this can be an existential crisis or a midlife crisis.

An existential crisis, as a rule, is characteristic of men aged 35-45 years. During this period, there is a revaluation of past experience, or, more precisely, an underestimation of it.

A man compares himself with his peers and realizes that he has achieved nothing in life. Moreover, he compares very selectively and not in his favor. The man feels empty, life seems meaningless and perhaps he does not understand why he lives at all.

The ideal way out of this situation is to work with a specialist who would help him along this path. However, not everyone has this opportunity, so in this article I will try to give a number of recommendations in order to return a man to a normal state.

1. A man needs to regain his taste for life, so that life takes on meaning, so that emotions appear in it.

A change of scenery can help here; maybe it’s worth going somewhere to relax and forget.

A man needs to be pulled out of harsh reality, at least for a while, so that he looks at everything a little differently.

2. To find meaning, he needs “small victories.”

For example, another, more stable job or income, so that a man feels that he is useful and that a lot depends on him, that he is in demand and needed.

3. Play sports, if possible, but do not strive for Olympic records.

You can start with walking, walking, running, a man needs to regain his connection with his body, his masculinity, this will give him strength.

4. You can watch some films on a certain topic.

For example, films about an existential crisis, through the experience of other people, a man can understand that there is a way out.

5. Being in a state of existential crisis, a man needs to develop his emotional sphere.

You can attend some trainings that promote the development of emotionality. As a last resort, just speak out your emotions, experience them here and now.

6. You need to communicate more with other people, old friends, and, if possible, expand your social circle.

7. If there is such an opportunity, then you need to have more fun, or rather, switch to something else.

Cinema, bowling, billiards, etc.

8. Do manly things.

Make repairs in the apartment, go hunting, fishing, repair the car. These are also “small victories”.

And most importantly, you need to remember that the best assistant in overcoming a midlife crisis IS TIME, because the psyche needs to restructure past experience, reevaluate it and draw the necessary conclusions.

Loneliness, the opinions of others, the monotony of everyday work – there can be many reasons why women start affairs with men who are completely unsuitable for them. And sometimes they themselves do not notice that they have begun to build relationships that have absolutely no future. Read the following signs that you're dating the wrong person. This will help you make sure that you are not making another mistake in your life.

1. After every meeting you feel completely empty. If you really have met a wonderful person who suits you in every sense, after a romantic dinner or a walk in his company you should feel inspired and joyful, but not devastated and alarmed.
   
2. You are putting too much effort into developing this relationship. When people are in love with each other, their actions are often impulsive and spontaneous. This circumstance, however, does not prevent the couple from feeling joy and slight excitement from spending their free time together, regardless of what they do. If you have to carefully think through a plan of action for the weekend and even it does not delight you, think seriously about why this is happening. After all, no one forces you to spend time with someone you don’t want to.
3. While waiting for the next meeting with your loved one, you do not feel excitement or a joyful mood. People who are truly in love with each other are ready to give everything just to meet more often and spend more time together. And when there is no joy from the upcoming meeting, this indicates serious problems in the couple.
4. You feel his superiority in the relationship. He constantly commands where you will go, what you will do, and at the same time is not at all interested in your opinion. Think about it before it’s too late, what will your life together with such a person be like?
   
5. There is no “spark” between you. Your relationship resembles hard and exhausting work, and fun in the bedroom does not always bring satisfaction. What will happen to you after 3, 5 or 7 years of relationship?
6. You can't imagine your future together. Having met “the one” man in their opinion, many girls sit for hours looking at the ceiling, mentally picturing the beginning of a life together, the birth of children and even a happy old age. If you don’t have such thoughts, you are clearly in a relationship with the wrong person.
7. You are afraid to show him your true self. Sometimes some married couples separate and are very surprised to learn about their exes (with whom they have lived next to each other for many years in a row) that they, it turns out, are avid lovers of rock climbing or bungee jumping! And all because their ex-husbands and spouses hid their true selves for many years in a row, not feeling confident that they could trust their significant other. Don’t repeat their mistakes and now end those relationships in which you cannot be yourself.
8. You try to think through every word and deed when you are near your loved one. For some reason, it seems to you that he will judge you if you laugh at something that seems funny to you or reacts with unpleasant surprise to some of your judgments. Such a situation can lead to the same consequences as described in the previous paragraph.
   
9. You are not ready to share your things with him. You try your best to protect your personal belongings from his attention and prefer that he does not invade “your territory” at all. It’s strange, but loving people should have everything in common, right?
10. You're not ready to show it to your friends and family. Either intuition, or a hidden feeling of fear that you will be exposed, makes you put off the moment of introducing your partner to loved ones longer and longer. What are you so afraid of: that his friends will take him away or that his mother will be able to determine at first glance a fact that you already know and declare that he is not a match for you?