The husband is hysterical signs. Typical male tantrum. How an intelligent woman should behave

I kept it for myself. But if it is useful to someone, I will be very glad!

Behavior unworthy of even nervous and weak women
more and more often the representatives of the stronger sex show. Due
so that there are more and more of them, the portal
www.interfax.by together with psychotherapist Leonid
Shemlyakov took care of the classification of such
men and a description of how to deal with them.
We all encounter such non-men in everyday life, at work, in stores, traffic jams, Internet forums and in almost any life situation. By the totality of "merits" Leonid Shemlyakov proposes to give this phenomenon the code name "hysterical men."

How to recognize a hysterical man
- Regardless of social and material status, such a man feels his inferiority. This is due to deeply felt complexes. The Napoleon complex in men of short stature, a baldness complex, complexes associated with the size of the reproductive organs and problems in sexual life, an inferiority complex, fear of failure, a guilt complex, and so on.
The men we are going to talk about are personalities with a very pronounced hysterical accentuation (sometimes turning into psychopathy), in which egocentrism goes off scale. Hysteroid and hysterical in a psychological context are not the same thing, but in life they are very often combined.
Hysteroids are not sure of themselves, they are afraid of being ridiculed, fear that their dark deeds will be revealed. These are demonstrative personalities with a great desire to please everyone, and the desire is so great that they will pass off even bad deeds as good, without stopping before lies and falsification of facts. They consider themselves to be the center of the Universe, are capricious, hypochondriac, and are distinguished by unhealthy pride. This behavior is usually attributed to women, which is why in the definition of "hysterical man" the second word is feminine.
How do they behave
- Hysterical men are not very smart, but this does not prevent them from believing that everyone is stealing ideas from them, although everything happens the other way around: not having enough intelligence, education, erudition, these individuals come out only on what they tell one people on their behalf stories taken from other people. Or they give quotes from famous films for situations that happened to them in life. Plagiarism - direct and indirect - is the meaning of their life and the way of being.
Hysterical men are stingy. They can torment you for hours with stories about how they were cheated for a few rubles, and over time the amount of rubles will increase, and the saleswoman will turn into an evil harpy, which the hero managed to defeat. A hysterical man likes to lie in order to present himself in a favorable light, to arouse admiration, respect or sympathy. Lying and dodging are their favorite pastimes.
Hysterical men are gossips. They discuss everyone behind their backs in a hard-hitting light. They are always offended by something, dissatisfied, deprived, but they will never express their opinion openly. They don't have the courage to do it. They suspect the whole world of conspiracy against them, beautiful, everywhere they see non-existent conspiracies.
At the slightest provocation, such men burst out with outbursts of "righteous" anger: they spit saliva, shout, resent, accuse everyone, try to humiliate and insult.
Dignity is not about them, although they really like to consider themselves noble and worthy. At the slightest touch of their sick ego, so much dirt will pour out on you that you will simply wonder how a person can be so petty and unworthy.
These people cannot be trusted, because they do everything in life only for themselves and will easily break promises and agreements if it suits them.
Hysterical subordinate
- If such an employee is subordinate, your bones will be washed constantly. Often you will not suspect about this, because no open discontent will be shown, moreover, they will curry favor with you and try to please. But behind the back they will call them the last words, envy the position of the leader, accuse of greed, incompetence, and so on. Often such citizens corrupt the collective with their constant whining and discontent, while they themselves are not particularly valuable employees. And it is good if you have formed a competent collective of independently thinking people, because the gray masses are easily infected with hysterical behavior and also become unhappy with everything.
A hysterical man will not go directly to his boss with his problems. Asking for a raise, for example. What for? After all, the bosses are a priori evil and were sent to earth by the forces of hell to spoil the life of their subordinates.
Hysterical chief
- Hysterical men who occupy high positions have two types of enemies - internal and external.
At first glance, these bosses seem friendly and nice. They treat their subordinates in a familiar manner, tell them about their personal lives and how the villain Petrov from a competing company was put in place at the banquet (such feats usually do not have witnesses). They will tell everyone about what new suit they bought and how great they had a rest, having "built" the hotel staff who tried to demand a tip. The hysterical boss will sprinkle jokes overheard in a friendly company and make greasy compliments to employees.
But if you don’t admire it or question its magnificence, nit-picking will immediately fall on you. You will turn into a terrible non-professional. At the same time, your boss, not wanting to spoil his image, will refer to unknown "customer complaints", "reviews of other employees" and so on.
If you turned out to be the external enemy of the hysterical boss, then wait for tales both about yourself and about your company. Everything will be done to harm your business and personal reputation. You can find out about your "homosexual inclinations" or, conversely, that you have three mistresses and one of them is a dwarf, that you have a fake diploma, and there are only three classes of education in a parish school, and so on. Clients and partners will “learn” that your company has suddenly become composed of amateurs, that you are stealing money and cheating partners. The entire staff of the hysterical man will be busy writing "anonymous" reviews on the "terrible" work of your company on the forums, while he himself will be, as it were, above all this, trying to remain in the role of a wise leader and not knowing that people are communicating with each other and it is easy to establish who is behind the flock of decoy ducks.
Hysterical man and women
- Hysterical men are afraid of women. If they are married, they are quiet, dumb creatures who are pushed around.
Hysterical men are not very developed creatures, burdened with complexes, so they try to prove their imaginary superiority in terms of gender. It is from them that you can hear that women are by definition more stupid, that a woman's place is in the kitchen, the phrase "A woman driving - death on the road" and the like.
If such a man encounters an intelligent, independent woman, whose opinion is opposite to his views on life, the banal rudeness of the male begins, who does not have sufficient intelligence to conduct a full-fledged discussion or dispute. The most common and practically the only cliché that such males operate on is (in the mildest form) "There is not enough sex in her life, her husband / lover does not satisfy." And if the lady is not married, the hysterical man is all the more clear. They, using "She's a fool!" As an argument, believe that their gender gives them some advantages and that all life is based on sex. And they do not realize that such statements signal, first of all, about serious problems in the sexual life of the “applicant” himself. Such primitive views of the world are due to a low culture and level of personality development.
How to deal with them?
- More than anything, hysterical men are afraid of open confrontation.
If a hysterical man is your subordinate, call him into the office and ask what exactly he is dissatisfied with, warning that all gossip behind the backs of the bosses and attempts to disintegrate the team will be suppressed and punished.
If you are subordinate to a hysterical man, try to be professional and detached with him, do not go beyond the working relationship, no familiarity. If, nevertheless, you have come under attack, ask directly what is the reason for such a sudden “drop” in the level of your work, why there have been so many complaints against you. Most of all, hysterics are afraid of losing their image, therefore, in the face of such a danger, they may change their anger to mercy.
If a hysterical boss tries to ruin the reputation of you and your company, file a lawsuit to protect your honor, dignity and business reputation. No attempt to influence harmful behavior in a peaceful way will be beneficial, because hysterical bosses will feel impunity under the guise of anonymous accusations.
If there is a possibility, having identified such a man, try not to enter into any relationship with him at all. Do not take similar people to work, do not communicate with them in a team, ignore their attacks in friendly companies, at parties, in the office, queues, traffic jams and on the Internet. Nothing positive and useful will come from them, and they can very much harm at least your mood. Therefore, protect yourself from unworthy people and know how to fight back.
/ interfax.by /

Especially for "I Love!"
When the reaction to a nonsense problem is screaming, screeching, and an inability to think soberly, it causes dislike or irritation. And it is quite sad if “a man in the prime of his life” falls into affect. Somehow sobbing and convulsions for a trifle do not fit with the title "stronger sex".

Consequences of emancipation?

Once a neighbor appeared on the threshold of my apartment and rudely demanded to park the car in another place. Argument: he himself likes to put his car on this particular place. Secretly, it was a corner in the underground parking lot, where parking is prohibited in principle. That is, both me and he have no rights to this place! This is what I tried to convey to him. But the man fell into a natural hysteria, began to intimidate me and did not react at all to logical arguments. In a word, he did not behave like a gentleman. Fortunately, our dialogue was without consequences, but the residue remained. I was so confused that my memory could not even keep the face of the intruder. Now, meeting the tenants, I cannot remember: and with whom the conflict happened.

Say - an isolated case? But a similar picture happened in one of the banks in Riga. The respectable client waved his arms and climbed the wall because he was absent for a minute and missed his turn. As a result of an angry tirade, several charming women with Olympic calmness on their faces let the psychopath go ahead.

While preparing the material, I remembered another case. A young couple came to visit, and the groom, having drunk too much, began to complain to friends about his hard and worthless life. I must say that his life was quite exciting and well-organized, but at that moment he wanted, apparently, to dissolve the nuns. At first, the guy whined quietly, then tears the size of a plum came to his eyes, and at the end of the story he just jumped up and ran out into the street. The wretched person was found, returned, warmed, and more such excesses never happened to him. But at that moment, his girlfriend was stunned from shock, not daring to contradict or object to the raging companion. I still admire her endurance. But the relationship, alas, could not be saved by those lovers.

Having put together a puzzle from different life episodes, I remained completely puzzled. Questions immediately buried in my head. Does emancipation not only relieve a man of the status of “breadwinner” and “head of the family”, but also rewards the stronger sex with exclusively female character traits: hysteria, whims, weak character? If so, then we urgently need to change something, otherwise soon the ladies will have to put up not only with their PMS, but also with the male one. And this is no good.

Not every man is hysterical

I didn't manage to figure out the problem myself, so I decided to consult a psychotherapist Alexander Moshkin: “Men can really lose control in the most everyday and simple situations. But the reason for this lies either in character traits or in the external environment. We will not generalize isolated cases, and immediately record all men in "hysterics". It often happens that the stronger sex behaves very dignified, but something went wrong - and now a capricious and incontinent young man is in line in front of us.

And the thing is that a man bears an immense burden of responsibility. Urgent work issues, striving for career growth, taking care of the family, raising a child. This is not a complete list of must-do adult men. For them, the bar was initially raised very high, which they must overcome. And this is extremely exhausting.

"You're a man!" - the woman says to him and this automatically obliges him to comply: to be cold-blooded, reasonable and strong. But we are all different, temperament, upbringing and even the event of the day play an important role in human behavior. For example, the project, which he was engaged in for many years, investing his strength and soul, he ordered to live a long time. Or he is doing well in his career, but he doesn't like the job. I was exhausted in the office, and at home my wife saws every day. When patience is running out, emotional and physical stress requires an outlet. And now, unwillingly, the man breaks down from the slightest trouble: "cut off" on the road, sat down on the mobile, the seller in the store did not please. Here the question is only in the form of the discharge of negative energy.

It is a little easier for women: they quarreled, cried - and their souls felt better. And what should men do? With their mother's milk, they absorbed that they must always keep themselves in hand. Tears, screams, tantrums - not allowed, not allowed, this is the prerogative of girls! And the situation is further complicated by the attitude of society, which usually reacts extremely negatively to the manifestation of fleeting weakness.

Sexual warfare arena

Emancipation did not benefit the male psyche either: women entered the professional arena with an iron grip, and what is important - they began to win! Today he has not only to fight for a place in the sun, but also to protect his pride from wounds. After all, if you are bypassed by a woman, you are a "rag". Although in reality this is completely different, the stereotypes of society based on outdated values, alas, are still strong.

By the way, the massive dominance of women in society threatens not only with sudden outbursts of affect in men. He may just start to lose the traits inherent in the stronger sex. And such characters often turn into domestic despots, bullying their entire family. The woman will provide him, groom and cherish, and in return receive scandals and pokes.

Another option is anger and zealous competition with women. It is morally difficult for such a type of men to come to terms with the fact that a weak woman was able to achieve more, to be stronger and more agile in this or that situation. And such long-term dissatisfaction with oneself can lead to sad consequences: tantrums can become, if not the norm, then frequent guests in your house.

Grit your teeth and shut up!

If you suddenly witness a scene of male tantrum, it is extremely important to behave correctly so as not to aggravate the tense situation. A normal man, after such a “concert”, always realizes that he was wrong. But since the process has already begun, it is important to get your bearings and not make it worse.

1. Do not get to the bottom of the truth or express your claims. When a person is in such a state, it is not surprising to get under the hot hand.
2. Do not even try to appeal to common sense when his feelings and emotions “rebelled”. It is better to step aside, endure, be silent and give the man the opportunity to throw out the accumulated experiences. Let him speak out, calm down, cool down - and then we can conduct educational conversations.
3. Do not forget about tenderness. Women are very cunning and wise. At such a moment, it is worth turning on your femininity to the fullest. By the way, this was exactly what I had to do when a neighbor with auto-claims appeared at the door. If I immediately smiled and offered him to solve the problem calmly, the aggression would disappear

The power of a smile

The modern world is quite cruel - and this affects our psyche. In itself, aggressive behavior is inherent in the stronger sex. But today, alas, women have adopted a similar manner. After all, it is always easier to attack than to defend. But as soon as the dialogue becomes on the level of "assaults" on each other - write was gone. Although it is natural to flare up in response to a partner's anger, however, such a reaction instantly turns any conversation into a dialogue of two asexual creatures, from which sexuality is completely deleted

Expert tip: Take the Italians as an example. They even go out to the store all dressed up, let alone everyday matters. Pay attention to how they swear: even in a quarrel, a man tries to seduce and charm a woman.

This is the key to success: not losing your gender, even in times of conflict. If you turn on feminine softness, then the man will instantly switch, calm down, see you not as an opponent in an argument, but as a woman. With this approach, aggressiveness will always fail. And then, having calmed down, it is necessary to analyze the situation, its causes and draw useful conclusions.

All this, of course, concerns normal men, for whom hysteria is force majeure, something out of the ordinary. It is much more difficult with those men who in life behave exclusively like a woman: they will always have to be worn with them, as with a written sack, fulfilling endless whims. Therefore, it is important for a woman to understand in time who is in front of her: a spoiled teenager or a man who is simply not very lucky today.

Alas, there are no general recommendations. Each has its own "diagnosis" and methods of "treatment". And we, smart women, just need to always remember: we are the fair sex and remain weak and defenseless even in an argument. Our strength is in a smile and tenderness. Remember this often.

Strong and passionate

Such men are filled with feelings. They do everything with passion. They work energetically and earn a lot, they love sincerely, giving all of themselves, they are truly friends. Emotions are seething in them, but this man is trying to lock them up. The thing is that in childhood he was told that men do not cry, they should be restrained, not too emotional. Therefore, these individuals are fighting with themselves to please the attitudes laid down in them and, fearing to destroy their own image, restrain themselves.

A passionate man saves himself by throwing out his emotions over trifles, restraining himself during serious matters and important family conversations. After a fit of hysteria, he calms down and seems to be reborn into the world. If the wife had the wisdom not to say nonsense during the outbreak of his feelings, then he will begin to make amends for his guilt in every possible way, agree to something that his beloved has long wanted, kiss her, do something pleasant for her.

Strong and smart

For such people, hysteria is not a way to throw out their own, but a way to achieve a goal. They think over everything in advance, wait a long time for the moment, accumulate energy, and when the right situation comes, they start up their tantrum. As a result, others are confused by this behavior, they are shocked and from this agree to the conditions put forward by the hysterical man. In this way, he achieves the goal, but he uses tantrums wisely and rarely, so that they are not used to them and this method always has an impact.

Weak and reckless

These people require attention to themselves, but are weak, unrestrained. They are not overwhelmed with emotions, but they cannot stop in time. The weak often raise their voices, and emphasize the last syllable. For example, instead of "Nobody respects me here!" it turns out “Nobody respects me here ?!”. It is difficult for them to cope with life's circumstances, and therefore they arrange tantrums for any reason. This is how they get rid of negative emotions. After a long hysteria, which can periodically flare up again, the weak forces everyone to apologize to him for bringing him to such a state.

What to do?

During a tantrum, it is important not to encourage it, but to wait it out. Be calm and just watch, no matter how annoying you are and not forcing you to join this "game" too. If you cannot look at it, then go to another room or to the street. However, some men do not want to lose their viewer, so they can follow you and throw a tantrum in public.

Do not be afraid of male tantrums. They are completely safe, so do not be afraid that you may be hit or damaged by any property. Usually threats are needed only to intimidate ... For example, if a man shouts "I will kill everyone," then he is probably just angry, and if he threatens to commit suicide, then he is in pain. However, for greater safety, it is better to remove fragile objects from the hysterics, otherwise, in a fit of feelings, he may break some especially valuable plate, which he will very soon regret.

During a man's tantrum, you do not need to engage in extraneous matters, even though you are trying to say that you are not paying attention to what is happening, but with such behavior you can injure a man. Better sit back on the couch and listen to him. The tantrum won't last longer than half an hour, so devote that time to him.

Tantrums happen from the fact that a man is looking for an outlet for his feelings, so they can be prevented. To do this, do things that will discharge the man, let him shout out or throw out his strength. For example, go to karaoke, play active sports, or play cards where a man can calmly complain about a loss or rejoice at a win. You can also watch melodramas, during which a man transfers his emotions to the feelings of the heroes and gets rid of negativity along with the main characters. Therefore, some men like to watch "soap". But we do not have Brazil and men are embarrassed to watch programs of this kind, so watch them yourself. Then the man will not be so ashamed to connect to the view.

Women are usually called hysterics and brawlers. It is believed that they behave inadequately due to the disorder in their personal life, problems in relationships with a partner, and unstable hormonal levels. Any woman's attempt to raise her voice is regarded as a manifestation of PMS or lack of sexual gratification. There is undoubtedly some truth in this - the word “hysteria” is translated from Latin as “uterine fury”. However, recent research by psychologists has shown that for every four women who are hysterical, there is one man who is hysterical.

Representatives of the stronger sex do not like to talk about their rowdy inclinations. After all, a man will not be able to get off with such an easy and inexplicable reason. We'll have to explain why, during a conversation with his beloved, he broke into a cry or threw himself into tears. And sometimes he himself does not know the answer to this question. Yes, and admit to myself in this hysterics ashamed. Therefore, a man prefers to “forget” about her, pretending that nothing special has happened. If the partner keeps silent, he will finally make sure of his own rightness - the emotional outburst will repeat after a while and more than once. So that you do not have to experience all the delights of a nervous breakdown of your beloved, you must know how to react to such a situation in order to stop a man's attempt to fall into hysterics in the bud.

Why does the second half become the object of male hysteria? Because it is simply embarrassing to demonstrate such weaknesses in front of bosses or friends. But the negative accumulates, emotions are looking for a way out. Friends can twist a finger at the temple, and the boss can reprimand or even fire him. And the beloved woman seems to be obliged to be near in grief and joy. Therefore, the man addresses his "theater of one actor" to her.

The reason for male tantrums can be a protest against your point of view, unwillingness to put up with life's circumstances, or simply. During a hysterical seizure, a man cannot control his emotions - at this moment appeal to his conscience and sanity. The hysterical face turns red, the veins in the neck swell, shortness of breath appears. Such a performance is not only destructive for the nerve cells of the spectator, but also dangerous for the health of the actor himself. In the presence of a physiological predisposition, during the outburst of emotions, an attack of allergic or bronchial asthma, epilepsy or angina pectoris may occur.

A separate type - sentimental brawler... The final stage of hysteria in such a man is necessarily accompanied by crying. Psychologists believe that this behavior is typical of men with a female line of behavior. This does not mean that your partner is weak-willed and effeminate. Most likely, excessive emotionality is due to upbringing, the main role in which belonged to the mother. Alternatively, as a child, your man often witnessed family scenes between parents and over time began to perceive them as the norm.

Both classic tantrums and sentimentalists are prone to causeless jealousy... Suspicion and mistrust are the perfect pretext for another scandal. If desired, even in innocent communication with a colleague on the phone, you can see signs of treason. Jealousy can lead to domestic violence if your hysteric loses control.

Did the home tyrant decide to raise a hand on you? This situation requires you to respond. Are you ready to endure beatings for the sake of rare moments of happiness? Will you be able to give birth and raise a psychologically full-fledged child in an atmosphere of scandals and fights? Give the hysterical man an ultimatum: a breakup or a normal relationship without any violence. Don't fall for his apologies and pleas for forgiveness. Leave the beatings unpunished - the man will hit you more than once.

A tantrum won't last long if you don't respond to your partner's attacks. Its purpose was to attract your attention and "pump out" emotions - the man wants you to feel sorry for him, calm him down and follow his lead. If you feel tension while communicating with him, do not show it. If he bangs his fist on the table or starts shouting, leave the room silently, not responding to insults and tears. Read an interesting book, get some fresh air outside, visit the gym. When you return, act as if nothing had happened. When the discouraged man begins to ask questions about your disappearance, invite him to have a heart-to-heart talk. Tell them that you intend to resolve emerging issues exclusively in a calm atmosphere, without scandals and wringing of hands. Emphasize the kinship of your souls with your partner - tell him that you also want to work on relationships, develop them, change them for the better. But in more peaceful ways, without scenes and hassle.

Don't force your man to admit that he is hysterical. Social attitudes forbid a man to be hypersensitive, vulnerable, psychologically unstable. Emphasize the awareness of the very existence of the problem of quarrels in the family, and not psychological terms.