About the new book “I don’t want to study! History of schools in Russia. I'm moving to a new school. How to make friends with everyone? Why is this happening

Having to change schools can be very frustrating. Everything is new, and you don’t even know where the classes will be held. In addition, it is not so easy to make friends with new guys, because most of the students already have their own companies. But don’t despair: it’s quite possible to fit into a new team with ease! It will be easier for you to make friends if you gain self-confidence, become a more open person and start participating in all activities.

Steps

Part 1

Take a deep breath and relax. Do not worry. Remember that you are not the only one who wants to make new friends. There may be groups already formed at your new school, but there are always a few people who want to make friends too. Don't put pressure on yourself.

• Maybe at your new school you won’t have as many friends as you did at your last – this is quite normal. Over time, your popularity at school will go through ups and downs - it's not your fault.

1. Take the time to think about your qualities. You'll have a much easier time making new friends if you realize how good you are at making friends. Write down your strengths, this list should always be at your fingertips so that you can look at it any time you feel not very confident.

   Ask a question. Obviously, you'll want to get to know each other and tell people a little about yourself. However, if you ask people about themselves, they will feel that you are interested in them, and this is the beginning of friendship.

   Do something nice for someone. Take your new friend's place. Say hello to him in the hallway. Congratulations on your good grade. Give a compliment: “I really like your shoes/bag.” These simple steps work wonders!

   Don't force it. Even if you make every effort and be a kind and open person, not every acquaintance will want to make friends with you. Everyone has their own reasons for this. It could be something as simple as a lack of common interests. If you feel like a person doesn't want to be your friend (or they tell you so directly), don't pursue them. You can't force people to be friends with you.

Part 3

Take the first step. In any place (for example, in the locker room or in the yard) you can find a person with whom you have a lot in common. You just need to know how to get acquainted. To do this, start a conversation, smile, compliment the person, introduce yourself and tell them where you come from. You never know where you might meet a great friend.

Get involved in extracurricular activities. It doesn’t matter so much what it will be: a theater group, a hobby club or a sports game. This will provide an opportunity to meet new people who you will see regularly - two essential aspects of any friendship. Plus, participating in different activities gives you the opportunity to meet people who love the same things as you.

Try to find other newbies. Chances are you're not the only one new. At the very least, you will definitely have something in common: you both found yourself in an unfamiliar environment. Since you are both new, it won't be difficult for you to get to know each other and become friends. Tell us about your previous school, about your new school, about your successes, about your opinion about some subjects. You will definitely find something in common!

When choosing your seat, try to sit in the center of the class. This way you are much more likely to be noticed (than if you sit in front or behind). Plus, you will have the opportunity to interact with people. Most likely, you will be paired with someone to prepare a school project.

It will take some time. Don't be discouraged if you don't make friends on your first day at a new school - this is completely normal. Building friendships takes a lot of time, and it's important to find the right people for you. Don't give up, over time you will find people who will become your friends.

• You shouldn’t immediately try to “fit into” a new class; gradually get to know and communicate with people. We hope the new team will accept you quickly.
• By remembering the name of a person you recently met when meeting, you will show that this person is interesting to you. Don't worry if you forget about it. Just carefully ask his name again and try to remember it so that next time you call this person by name.
• Don't judge or be rude to others, even if they are rude to you.
• Once you become friends with someone, try to get to know your new friend's friends.
• Don't listen to rumors and gossip about other people. Get to know them personally and find out for yourself who they really are. Don't listen to what others say about them.
• Humor is wonderful. Tell your new acquaintances an anecdote or joke, but it should be harmless. An offensive joke will definitely not help you make friends with a person.
• If you don't have the courage to invite someone to spend time together on the weekend, sign up for basketball or football, where you can socialize with other guys. As soon as the guys realize that you are fun and interesting, most likely they will invite you to go somewhere.
• If someone is being laughed at or bullied, stand up! This way, other guys will understand that you can be trusted. Perhaps next time they will stand up for you.
• Be kind to people, even if at first glance you don't really like the person.
• If you really have problems with your new team, if you feel overwhelmed, seek help. Consulting with a psychologist will help you feel ten times better, and will also restore your self-confidence and ability to communicate with other people.
• The psychologist or teacher will be happy to introduce you to other students in your class.

Warnings

• Once you become friends with someone, don't steer the conversation in just one direction. If a person indicates that they do not want to discuss a topic, respect their decision.
• Try to be close to your family and old friends. You may find it helpful to make friends outside of school so you have someone to hang out with.
• When you make new friends, don't try to be bossy and capricious, because no one will like being told what to do.

The long winter holidays are over and the middle of the school year has arrived. At first glance, the child should go to school with great joy after this vacation. It's actually not that simple! Many schoolchildren come up with any excuses to avoid gnawing on the granite of science, and from the youngest you can generally hear: “I don’t want to study!”

Why is this happening?

Parents are in a panic, sedatives do not help, and they begin to justify the behavior of their children with the genetics of their grandparents, that supposedly the latter were ignoramuses and slobs. No persuasion, much less threats, help; all attempts to force the child to study turn out to be useless. The child has one answer: “I don’t want to study!”

Of course, each parent must understand that they cannot simply hear such a conclusion from the lips of their beloved children. Everything must have its reasons. The main reasons for a child’s refusal to attend school include:

In addition to these reasons for reluctance to attend school, it is worth highlighting one more, the most objective one, which will be discussed below.

I don’t want to study in the middle of the school year or “Third Quarter Syndrome”

Each of us went to school, and everyone remembers that the heaviest workload at school falls on the second and third quarters of the school year, this is how the school curriculum developed over the years is structured. Again, it is in the third quarter that children begin to get more tired, and their performance simply plummets. Doctors called this period a new term: third quarter syndrome. The causes of this syndrome will help you find the right ways to “cure” it.

First of all, you need to know what it is circadian rhythms? These rhythms usually include: biorhythms of the change of day and night, rhythms associated with the change of seasons, life-age rhythms and many other changes. Changing rhythms is a completely normal phenomenon that affects changes in our mood and even behavior. There is only one conclusion: in our everyday life, a change in rhythms is a significant characteristic.

First and fifth graders have a much more difficult time overcoming third quarter syndrome.

It is the change in biorhythms that prevents us from getting up fresh and early on a short winter day, which cannot be said about a summer day. It seems that lighting helps in this case, but still it cannot lengthen the daylight hours. And if a child has been ill and at the same time experiences a heavy load, then the school program is perceived as more difficult, as a result, one can only expect a malfunction of the body.

The lack of daylight is difficult to overcome. Moreover, it has long been noted that It is more difficult for humanity to live in conditions of prolonged absence of light than in low temperatures. Prolonged absence of sun leads to an increase in the incidence of acute respiratory viral infections. With a lack of light, the immune system becomes weaker, which leads to frequent illnesses. You should pay attention to the child’s complaints such as headache, weakness. These symptoms may indicate hidden and chronic diseases, so do not neglect your child’s complaints: show him to the doctor.

A cold, long winter, and even with the lack of snow, also has a detrimental effect on the mood and general condition of schoolchildren, and people in general. After all snow is also a kind of light source, and when it is not there, winter is much more difficult to endure. That’s why it’s so important to spend an hour or two with your child for a walk. You shouldn’t rush your child to prepare a report; it’s better to first take a winter walk in the park, go to the skating rink with him, or just go skiing or hiking. You will be surprised how a walk will benefit your student, and homework will be done with ease and perfectly!

But third-quarter syndrome is much more difficult to overcome for first- and fifth-graders. This is primarily facilitated by stressful situations, the main cause of which is a change in social status. The care and help of parents is more necessary for them!

You moved to a new school and want to be popular. This will take no more than 30 days.

Day 1: On the first day, get to know everyone in the class. Find out everyone's name and tell them your name too. You don't have to wait for someone to come to you first, act yourself.

Day 2: Don't forget the names of the classmates you met.

Day 3: Every day, when you come to class, say hello to everyone, while smiling.

Day 4: Wear only what you like, no need to change your style in order to please and attract attention.

Day 5: Smile often and your classmates will like you.

Day 7: The week has flown by. You have already gotten to know your classmates quite well. And now you can give notebooks, textbooks, CDs, etc.

Day 8: If suddenly you don’t know something, or can’t understand, don’t be shy, turn to your friends, people love it when people turn to them for help.

Day 9: When school ends, don't run straight home. Stay for a while and chat with new acquaintances.

Day 10: You are already used to the class and can now express your opinion calmly.

Day 11: It's time to find yourself a person in spirit. There is definitely someone who shares your hobbies.

Day 12: Exchange numbers with your classmates.

Day 13: Be yourself, no need to pretend. After all, in the old school there was that person who liked you for who you are.

Day 14: During recess, talk to everyone, but don’t gossip about anyone, because they don’t like gossipers.

Day 15: Someone invited you to go for a walk, to go to the cinema, don’t refuse, even if you don’t want to go somewhere.

Day 16: Don't overlook not-so-handsome boys, because they can turn out to be even better friends than girls.

Day 17: Don't act like you don't know anything in class, otherwise you'll get bad grades.

Day 18: Find a gift for your relatives with your friends.

Day 19: Remember that cute and dressed up girls are not always nice people.

Day 20: If suddenly it happens that you find yourself in an absurd but funny situation, show that you have a sense of humor and will laugh at yourself.

Day 21: Do something nice for your friend. But there is no need to flatter her.

Day 22: Invite your friends to a disco or take them for a walk.

Day 23: Don’t interrupt your classmates in class, no one likes selfish people.

Day 24: Always come to the rescue. Don’t be afraid to refuse any offer if you don’t have the opportunity, or you simply don’t have the desire.

Day 25: If suddenly your friend has a cold, call her and ask how she is feeling.

Day 26: Don't be selfish, listen to your friends, be interested in their hobbies.

Day 27: If your friend is upset, gently ask her what's wrong and if she needs your help.

Day 28: Help your classmates, offer help, don't wait for someone to ask you

Day 29: You invite your friends to a party and someone even says you're cool.

Day 30: Well, those you invited have arrived. Everyone had a lot of fun. In a month you have become popular!

In 2016, the publishing house “Walking into History” published a book by Ekaterina Stepanenko and Evgenia Suslova “I Don’t Want to Study! History of schools in Russia" with illustrations by Alina Ruban.

Although I am not one of the primary and middle-aged children for whom the book is intended, I enjoyed reading it! Perhaps that is precisely why it would be a pleasure and more correct for the book to be addressed to “middle and older adults...”? However, it is very likely that I underestimate younger students.

The information is presented with pedantry, over the centuries, and even with repetition - first general facts, then a detailed presentation - just like in a textbook. But unlike the textbook in “I Don’t Want to Study!” the text is as close as possible to normal human speech - “... cadet corps began to spring up all over the country, like mushrooms after rain,” and the “read the paragraph and look at the picture” format makes it easier to chew on the granite of science. The pages are covered with drawings in the style of “I can do this too” (a deep misconception that increases self-esteem) - and while the brain is digesting the information that

« the adjective “cadet” came from another foreignnew word: in French “cadet” means “junior”»,

the eye rests; a classic combination of business and pleasure. The authors try to adequately assess eras - both long gone and still very fresh in memory; glancing over the small paragraphs of text scattered between the illustrations, we are convinced: yes, it was different.

• Pupils of the Moscow Orphanage received freedom and “a new cloth dress” upon completion of their studies..<..>and a ruble of money,” but these are those who survived; the next paragraph rightly clarifies the extremely high (according to statistics - 87%) infant mortality in the institution,
• The Soviet Union was rightly proud of the elimination of illiteracy and free education - but it was not immediately possible to provide schools with at least the minimum necessary, and education in high school in the USSR from 1940 to 1954 was paid,
• teachers who graduated from pre-revolutionary gymnasiums (Latin, Greek, etc.) suddenly became scrubs(special thanks to the artist for the drawing of the teacher with claws!).

I would say particularly successful is the constant comparison of the conditions of a modern schoolchild with the living conditions of gymnasium students, lyceum students, students of digital schools - students of past eras. Feeling everyday life is necessary for understanding girls and boys who lived a long time ago or just recently, seemingly the same as you. And after such an encyclopedia, many will probably want to “broaden and deepen” their acquired knowledge. They can recommend books about the “old” school: “The History of One Childhood” by E. Vodovozova, “Essays on the Bursa” by N. Pomyalovsky, “Mishkin’s Childhood” by M. Gorbovtsev, “The Last Bow” by V. Astafiev and many other good books.

In addition to data on school education in Russia, the encyclopedia is studded with information about who Fyodor Volkov was, where the word “lyceum” came from, what it means in Latin Governoreterra and other things - to broaden your horizons.

You read about education in one particular country and you are amazed at how many times approaches to teaching and the very principles of teaching have changed! With each new ruler - emperor, general secretary - a new era began, including in school. And what a few years ago was positioned as unshakable values ​​became not only irrelevant, but also harmful and dangerous.

Peter advocated for vocational education, Catherine - for general secondary education...

In the cadet corps, under the first leader, it was accepted “ force him to memorize the task, and then ask the cadet what he had learned", under I.I. Betsky " It should be easy for children to learn, without any coercion»…

F.E. Anhalt believed that " The cadets need to be “a tender mother who, pushing away the thorns, leads her pet through the flowers,” walked with them through the corps park, equipped a library, a small botanical garden and an art gallery at the corps.”, and the next head of the corps, M.I. Kutuzov, strengthened the teaching of military disciplines and considered the main goal to raise officers for service in the army...

In the “new school” of the 1920s, grades and subjects were abolished - and ten years later, discipline and unconditional submission of students became the most important value for the school...

What to do - the authors say - the history of education in Russia is inseparable from the history of Russia as a whole, and the personality of the leader is of paramount importance. Therefore, it is absolutely logical that a story about gymnasiums and wrote without images of those who took turns standing “at the helm”, from Peter I to M. Gorbachev (the portrait resemblance of the rulers is sometimes quite sketchy, and some - Peter III, N. Khrushchev - were especially unlucky, or, rather, lucky - in the drawings they are significantly prettier than they were during life).

The influence of top officials on the educational process on a national scale is so great that teachers, even the most outstanding, are left to implement the reforms proposed from above with minimal damage to students. Apparently, this is why the book does not contain paragraphs about teacher-reformers K. Ushinsky, A. Makarenko and others.

I would like to believe that the target group, the intended audience - Russian schoolchildren living and receiving education in the 21st century, will understand that good intentions, even multiplied by almost unlimited administrative and financial resources, unfortunately, do not guarantee the fulfillment of plans: “ Gymnasiums were not the only educational institution that Alexander I planned to establish, but the only one that he managed to open...<…>Too few parish schools have opened, and district schools have not opened at all.” Moreover, they do not guarantee happiness and well-being.

And new reforms in the field of education (and where would we be without them?) will take into account the rich experience of predecessors and the main goal of the reformers will be to raise trusting first-graders from pliable, like clay in the hands of a potter, into well-educated, decent people.

Katarina Gulevskaya

So, how to behave in a new class? When you open the doors for the first time and appear in front of a new team, of course everyone evaluates you. People are interested in both your appearance and your character. For some, the first is important, and for others, the second. In the new team, of course, you should make friends. But you shouldn’t hope that everyone in the class will love you. Do not forget that people in the class are different and not everyone can get along with each other. Your task in a new team is not to please everyone, but to show yourself in such a way that you are not pestered or insulted. Therefore, initially you need to behave confidently. Of course, no one talks about self-confidence, in which a person begins to behave as if he is the “navel of the earth.” But, under no circumstances is it necessary to enter a new class with your head down and looking around hauntedly. People should understand at first glance that you respect them and respect yourself.

You shouldn’t look at everyone warily and remain silent all the time. Communicate and don't be afraid to start conversations. Of course, you don’t need to be annoying and pester everyone with endless stories about your life and your friends. You can do this when you have friends who are really interested. On the first day, you just need to limit yourself to making acquaintances, chat with your neighbor or deskmate and try to figure out who is the leader in the class, what his friends are, whether you want to get into this company or just want them to treat you normally. Teams are different. In some, newcomers are received with great dissatisfaction. You need to be prepared for this and be able to defend yourself. Of course, you don’t need to provoke a conflict yourself. But, if you see that they are trying to humiliate or insult you, do not remain silent. Even if someone dislikes you, he will no longer touch you if he understands that you can give a worthy rebuff and are not afraid of anything. In addition, in this way you will earn respect from good people who are in every team and can become your friends.

If you are erudite and know a lot, you shouldn’t constantly show it to the class and teachers. Of course, if you are asked, answer and earn good grades. But, under no circumstances should you interrupt your classmates or constantly raise your hand when they answer and don’t remember something. It’s better, if possible, to tell the person the answer. This obviously won’t hurt you, but people will understand that you are ready to help and can cooperate with the team, and not do everything just for yourself.

You should never change your clothing style if your classmates don’t like it. There will always be people who will accept you for who you are. And if, under the pressure of others, you begin to dress the way they like, they will treat you as a person who can be controlled and done with as they wish. You obviously won’t earn respect, but you will just become the “six” of the strongest. Naturally, you don’t want this at all. Therefore, you don’t need to give up on yourself just because someone else wanted it. Of course, everyone wants to join a new team, but there is no need to do this at the expense of their own dignity and sense of pride. You must remember that each person is individual. Smart and adequate people understand this and appreciate it in others. And, if someone wants to turn you into a gray mass or a clone of themselves, it means that this person is not worthy of your friendship and your efforts to please him.

You should never discuss class procedures and team members with new classmates. The fact is that you can be branded as a gossip or turn people against you. Remember that first impressions are often deceiving. You may like people who are not really good. And you will turn those who could really become true friends for you against yourself. Therefore, try to listen, observe and not get involved in someone’s discussion. Remember that these people have been studying together for a long time, they can say nasty things about each other, sort it out and make peace. But if you say something wrong, people will simply turn away from you. Therefore, it is better to just keep quiet and watch from the side. Sometimes, people who say little and know a lot feel the best. Everyone understands that they can be trusted and respected. But, at the same time, when people say little about themselves, those around you have little leverage, therefore, they will not be able to offend you much or force you to do something. Therefore, you should never open up to people right away, even if you like them. It always takes time to understand what kind of person a person really is. Therefore, try to restrain yourself.

But this does not mean at all that you should be constantly distant, gloomy and not communicate with people. On the contrary, if you can be the life of the party, amuse those around you and find topics for conversation - use it. People value those who can make them laugh, come up with something, and be original. Just don’t try with all your might to take the position of a leader if there is already one in the class or if there is democracy in the team and there is no obvious leadership as such. If people want, over time, you will feel that they themselves, consciously or subconsciously, are pushing you to the role of leader. But until this happens, there is no need to try to prove to them that you are better. They really don’t like this, especially in those teams where everyone is equal.