09.08.2019

Restlessness. In what case should you consult a doctor? Advice for mothers of restless children

DatsoPic 2.0 2009 by Andrey Datso

All children have their own individual character, and they all develop in their own way. Even the psychological portrait of twins makes it possible to notice a significant difference between the two children. Some kids increasingly delight their parents with their behavior, while others often disappoint.

One of the main traits that can irritate parents and others, and also create certain problems when raising and educating a child, is restlessness. Restless kids can be rude and unrestrained, absent-minded, or simply overly energetic. All this creates certain problems: a child, already at an early age, is distinguished by the fact that he cannot sit for a long time on a puzzle that is difficult for him, and after two or three failures he throws it away with aggression and refuses to continue his exercises. In the future, it is difficult to teach such a child reading, writing, mathematics - here you have to literally remember the proverb “They teach the ABCs - they shout at the whole house.” Of course, such behavior of a child cannot be called normal, but before you punish or forcefully train an overly active or absent-minded child, you need to understand the reasons for his behavior.

In some cases, a child's restlessness is associated with problems with his health, and this needs to be understood. Thus, children with mental disorders can be restless. This may be temporary, so to speak, age-related - due to the development of the frontal lobe of the brain. In this case, the phenomenon will soon pass on its own. Or maybe the child has an attention disorder disorder, and then he definitely needs to be taken to specialists and treated. The cause of absent-mindedness can also be many other disorders, and only a specialist can determine them. Parents can only test their child's vision and hearing on their own, since disorders associated with the sensory organs can also cause restlessness.

It is important to consider that a child’s restless behavior is often associated with a defiant complex. In the behavior of such children, in addition to restlessness, the following deviations can be noted: if something irritates the child, he begins to behave aggressively, he can shout, insult, or even hit his mother. The behavior of such children needs urgent correction, otherwise you will have constant problems with the police, complaints from peers and their parents. Such a child is unlikely to become successful in life.

Sometimes restlessness is associated with other problems in the child’s behavior and psyche. Sometimes children suffer from uncertainty and depression, or other problems. All this needs to be identified and corrected. If the problem is severe, contact a specialist. If not, and you feel that you can cope with the child’s behavior on your own, go ahead. This can really work out well for you, because it is the parents who know their child best, and often intuitively know how to help him.

If your child cannot persevere and cope with tasks of medium or high difficulty that are not given to him the first time, join him. You can promise him a reward for doing the work he is doing so that he has an additional incentive. If the child continues to be capricious, offer to be distracted by something more interesting and finish the task later. But do not promise such rewards that he can receive immediately upon completion of the task - this will cause even stronger resentment due to the fact that the task does not work out. Tell him that if he can handle it today (in the next few days), you will go to the zoo or circus this weekend.

And remember that a child by nature cannot concentrate for a long enough period of time. So, try to give a child aged 4-6 years old problems that he will have to work on for 15-20 minutes, no more. Don't demand the impossible from your child, and if he has to do longer tasks, offer to take a break every 10-20 minutes. Then work will be easier for the child, and he will probably worry and complain less. Also, don’t scold your child if something doesn’t work out for him - it’s better to praise him for completing at least a few steps. A friendly environment when performing complex tasks truly works wonders - understanding that they believe in him, the child will do the work more confidently, will worry less about possible failure, because he will understand that he will not be scolded for this.

Perseverance should be cultivated in many children. And this task can only be accomplished by understanding parents. If you express your disappointment over your child’s failures, he will become tense and worry that he won’t be able to cope, and this will not lead to anything good.

But it also happens that the child is already accustomed to behaving defiantly in cases where he fails at something. Then the work ahead is more difficult - you need not only to teach the child to be assiduous, but also to stop his unwanted behavior. There is a fairly simple recipe for this: ignore the tantrums. Did your child fail to assemble the construction set? He threw him into the wall, started roaring and kicking him? - Just ignore it. And when he calms down, offer to assemble the construction set again, point out that he still assembled several elements, and therefore he is a good job. Or - take a break, play or watch a cartoon, and then start working again. This proposal is also very effective: tell your child to assemble the construction set halfway, and then promise him your help. The same goes for reading or writing: tell your child to read one or two pages of an interesting story, and promise that then you will read the story to the end. Be sure to praise your child for the work done, do not focus on mistakes, and day after day, trust the child with more and more of the work, and do less and less yourself. This way you can teach your child perseverance without tears and hysterics - if you do not deviate from the accepted course and again scold him for failures.

Publication date 03/26/2015

How all parents want to raise their children to be successful people, mentally beautiful and fulfilled in life! Unfortunately, not everyone succeeds. And not always the reason for our failures lies in shortcomings in upbringing or insufficient attention to the child. In a large number of cases, disturbances in the formation of mental functions - namely, these include the sphere of emotions, learning, and intellectual abilities - are associated with functional or organic changes in the structures of the child’s body that regulate its development.

Hyperactivity – character or syndrome?

The child is not able to assess his condition and talk about it. But often, with his behavior and some external manifestations, he signals attentive and caring adults to pay attention to the fact that he needs help.

Restlessness, hyperactivity and attention deficit are closely related symptoms of one of the most common painful conditions in children (5–10%) recently. Hyperactivity, i.e. Excessive, excessive mobility may manifest itself in the fact that the child cannot sit quietly, play quiet games, is fussy, jumps up from his seat without permission, and runs aimlessly.

The official name of the state is Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). The onset of manifestations, as a rule, is in early childhood (3–4 years), if left untreated or insufficiently treated, then in half or even more cases it can progress into adolescence and beyond. Many school problems are associated with this unfortunate syndrome, the main clinical manifestations of which are inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity. The problem becomes interdisciplinary – psychological, pedagogical and medical.

In preschool age, the main symptom can be called hyperactivity, while children can wander around the kindergarten group all day long completely aimlessly, but at the same time they chatter incessantly and interfere with the activities of other children. With the beginning of the school period (6–7 years), the child’s inability to concentrate for a long time, anxiety, extreme mobility are revealed; children cannot sit still during lessons and doing homework. In adolescence, the manifestations of the syndrome are impulsivity and unmotivated aggressiveness. Impulsivity is manifested in such behavioral features as shouting an answer without listening to the question; unable to wait for one's turn.

Be careful!

Many people think that their child is “just naughty” when serious disease processes are developing.

Parents should consult a doctor if:

The child cannot listen to speech addressed to him;

Cannot organize his activities and complete his work;

It is difficult for him to concentrate on details and complete the task without mistakes;

He forgets everything; often loses necessary items (books, pens, etc.); distracted;

The child avoids activities that require perseverance.

When observing a child and seeing some signs of trouble, family members cannot always independently assess his condition and understand that, for example, restlessness is not a character trait, but a disease. In such cases, it is better to seek the help of qualified specialists and undergo the necessary instrumental examination.

You need to start with your local pediatrician. The necessary examination can currently be completed in a local clinic. Which one - a pediatrician, neurologist, psychologist will tell you. The problem, as already noted, is interdisciplinary. Therefore, the decision must also be joint.

Anatoly Efimov, General Director of ANO

"Interregional Center for Rehabilitation Medicine and Rehabilitation"

Doctor of Medical Sciences, Professor, Academician of the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences

My son is 2.9, my second child. The child is very active, but his restlessness and capriciousness frightens him. Lately I've started talking over each other - I talk, and he repeats. Restlessness manifests itself in games and activities in kindergarten. The child lasts for 2-5 minutes. Then attention switches to something else. Capriciousness manifests itself in relationships with sister and grandmother. He starts screaming, kicking the floor, spinning around on the floor if everything doesn’t go his way. We try to work with our son, but it seems to me that all the attention is paid to him, we spoil him. He cannot play alone, he is constantly on the move, he needs to be with someone. His behavior is very frightening. Psychology says that a child’s character is formed by the age of three. What should we do next? How to instill perseverance? How to remove moodiness? Thanks for the advice. (Irina)

Answer:

Hello Irina. Thanks for the question. Don't be scared, Irina. If we all had the same character as when we were three years old, we would not have become what we are now. Personality nevertheless develops continuously, although, of course, the skeleton (a person’s character traits, value system, life views is laid down in childhood and adolescence). But, as we know, no development is possible without personal crises. (Crisis of the first year of life, 3 years, seven years, teenage crisis, midlife crisis, etc.).

Your son’s age period just falls into a crisis period. Let's remember that the crisis of three years is characterized by:

stubbornness
negativism
obstinacy
neurotic behavior (night terrors, bedwetting, difficulty speaking, stuttering in speech, etc.)
hypobulic seizures, i.e. a peculiar type of seizures that superficially resemble seizures, but in fact are not seizures in the literal sense of the word (the child shakes, throws himself on the floor, knocks his arms and legs).

But besides this, this period is characterized by:

the development of will and the associated sense of independence and self-sufficiency. If the will is not given the opportunity to form, feelings of shame and uncertainty will take its place.
pride in achievements. That is, the ability to persistently and purposefully strive for the goal he has set, despite difficulties and failures. Only in this case it is very important that adults see and approve this victory. If this does not happen, the value of the achievement falls catastrophically... It must also be taken into account that a sense of pride is combined at this age with a heightened sense of self-esteem. And hence - increased sensitivity, emotionality and sensitivity to the extent to which parents and other people important to the child recognize his achievements.
development of the ability to isolate, separate from others. The child trains this ability in the same actions that develop independence. Indeed, at the moment of his childhood confrontation, he deeply experiences a feeling of isolation... and sometimes rejection from adults caused by his “bad behavior”
development of sensitivity and sensitivity to the feelings of others. If I do this, how will my mother react? What if it’s like this?... Constant checking, observations and conclusions... Thus (if parents help, of course) the young researcher of human relations learns both positive communication skills and acceptable (peaceful) forms of isolation from others.
development of reflection. In general, he only recently discovered that he is him. Separate from others, able to influence the environment. And now he begins to compare himself with others. And your attitude towards yourself depends on your own achievements.
The limits of what is permitted are being checked. Constantly finding out what is “possible” and what is “not possible”.

Thus, in each of our crises there is still more positive than negative. This is true. Although, of course, it is not easy for a parent during this period. Parents also have their own crisis. It takes a lot of patience and love.

It is believed that the more acute and vivid the three-year crisis, the more firmly the child’s strong-willed character traits will be formed and strengthened, because this crisis is the birth of his “I”, the birth of self-awareness at a different level: the child begins to become more aware of himself (his desires and needs) and the outside world. Consequently, the more the child’s desires, initiative and activity are suppressed, the worse this will affect both the child’s development (mental and personal), and how the grown child will perceive the world in the future, on his future position in life.

The specificity of this crisis and crisis reactions is that the child is ready for a new stage of his activity (wants to be more independent, active, proactive, more independent of his parents, let’s say, “more mature”), and his parents continue to treat him as a dependent child who, without his mother or father, cannot do anything on his own. Indeed, a child at this age is not yet so independent as to be given absolute freedom, but the crisis reactions that the child himself demonstrates indicate that a wider field of activity is required than is available. the child needs a “different” attitude towards him, no longer like a baby.

Therefore it will be very important:

remember that such “terrible” behavior of children is not their conscious choice, but is a consequence of certain developmental patterns. This is exactly how a child realizes and realizes his independence, learns to regulate his desires and reactions.
Important! Share, emphasize and encourage the child’s useful initiatives (watering flowers, washing the floor, etc.)! Important! Offer your help unobtrusively and slowly (step by step) demonstrate the skills to the child.
According to the observations of parents and specialists, negative reactions increase when a child is either left to himself for too long and thereby demands attention to himself or thus “escapes” the overprotection of significant adults. In this regard, it is still important to exercise moderation in your interaction with the child (What is the extent of your relationship with him and where is it? - this is more a question of either an in-person psychological consultation or your maternal instinct, which never deceives if you listen carefully to it ).
If a child does not ask for help, do not interfere in his children's affairs.

Determine a few constant rules that ensure the safety of the child and others. There should be few of them. (You can’t play on the roadway, you have to sleep during the day...) And in all other cases, act more flexible. How exactly - this is already an area for trial and error for parents. But who knows better than you what will work with your baby?
use the “Come on together!” technique. Let’s go wash up together, and we’ll also grab a teddy bear...
technique “I can’t do it... Help me, honey”
perhaps just retreat for a while: if you don’t want to eat, don’t. Let him mature for his own decision.
offer a safe replacement in the event of a negative action. Tearing up books? And in response: “Oh, how interesting it is to tear paper. And I think newspapers are even more interesting. We have to try... but I don’t remember where they are... Sasha, don’t you remember?..."

Treat your child as an equal. Ask his opinion, ask permission to use his things, say “thank you” in response to his services... This way you will not only reduce his desire to be stubborn, but also set a good example for others to follow.

Hysterics. If in earlier years of life the cause of a baby’s hysteria was fatigue or overexcitement, now it is a method of manipulation. Therefore, we firmly and confidently say “NO” to the demand and deprive the child of attention. Exhorting a child or trying to explain anything to him is absolutely pointless. He still can't hear you. All that remains is to let him finish the hysteria on his own and not let him get what he is seeking in this way - attention, things, actions from you. Just remember that shouting and slapping are also attention. Even if it’s negative, it’s at least something. Therefore, if you give in or he receives attention, he will continue to use this tool of influence. Special masters of hysterics fall on the floor especially competently: in a puddle or in the middle of a crowd of people. In this case, we carefully move the obstinate animal to a drier or less crowded place and place it in the same position as we took it. Calmed down? That is great. Notations and swearing have no effect. It is much more productive to use a message about your feelings: “I always feel very bad when my son falls on the floor in the store and screams.”

But in addition to this reason (three-year-old crisis), the changes you described in the behavior of a three-year-old child may also be associated with going to kindergarten, with the appearance of a younger brother/sister in the house, with the appearance of another family member (although in your family the son is the youngest). This is also important to consider.

Your main question is “How to remove moodiness?” I propose to rephrase this as follows: “What can I do as a parent to make moodiness less severe? How can I help a child get through a period of crisis?”, because you can’t remove moodiness, just like you can’t remove any other mental manifestations (they either exist or they don’t). It is important for the parent and the child to learn to deal with this and OVERCOME. This is the main thing. What should you do as a parent is described above in the recommendations.

Patience to you, Irina! Your anxiety was felt from the letter (“What to do next? “The behavior is frightening...”, “the capriciousness and restlessness is frightening...”). If you are looking for solutions for yourself and your child, and do not stop with what is, it means that you are already in many ways a mature and wise mother who is constantly improving herself as a parent, and therefore as a person. You are well done!

Summary: Restlessness in children. Manifestations of restlessness in children: increased activity, short temper, impulsiveness and inattention. Reasons for restlessness. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

Is your child overly active, short-tempered, impulsive or inattentive?

You can list a number of probable reasons for this behavior of the baby.

It may be due to hearing problems (chronic otitis media) or vision problems, thyroid disease, boredom, depression, anxiety, fear, lead poisoning, sexual assault, mental illness, or side effects of certain medications. Also, this behavior may be caused by learning difficulties (the child may not yet be ready to learn to read and write at the time he is taught this). Or perhaps tasks are too difficult or easy for him, causing him frustration or boredom.

Another possible cause of a child's inattention and restlessness may be a disease called attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). A child suffering from such disorders has difficulty concentrating on anything, sitting still, or following someone else's directions. Experts estimate that such disorders affect 5% of children in the United States.

Excessive activity due to attention disorders is approximately five times more common in boys than in girls. These disorders may be detected before the child can walk and may continue into adulthood.

No one can say why these disorders occur. Some scientists suggest that this is due to dysfunction of the brain in its frontal part. Together with other parts of the brain, this area is responsible for the control of movement and attention.

Only a specialist should diagnose this disease. It should be noted that the earlier the disease was identified and treatment began, the higher the likelihood of recovery.

One of the difficulties in diagnosing ADHD is that it is often accompanied by other problems. For example, many children with ADHD also have learning disabilities, which means they have problems learning language or certain academic skills, usually reading and math. ADHD itself is not a learning disability. But because attention is impaired in ADHD, it can increase the school problems of a student with learning disabilities.

A small group of people with ADHD have a rare disorder called Tourette syndrome. People with Tourette syndrome have tics and other involuntary movements, such as blinking or facial convulsions, that they cannot control. Others may grimace, shrug their shoulders, sniffle, or suddenly shout out words. Fortunately, this behavior can be controlled with medication. Researchers at the National Institute of Mental Health and other organizations are working to determine the safety and effectiveness of treatments for people with both Tourette syndrome and ADHD together.

More seriously, nearly half of children with ADHD—mostly boys—have oppositional defiant disorder. These children may overreact or hit when they are not feeling well. They can be stubborn, hot-tempered, aggressive or defiant. Sometimes this develops into more serious behavioral disorders.

Children with this combination of problems are constantly at risk of getting into trouble at school, sometimes even with the police. They may take dangerous risks and break laws - stealing, setting fires, destroying property and driving recklessly. It is important that children with these disorders get help before their behavior leads to more serious problems.

Sometimes, many children with ADHD—mostly younger children and boys—experience other emotional disorders. About a quarter of children experience anxious feelings. They feel enormous anxiety, tension, or worry, even when there is nothing to be afraid of. Because these sensations are scarier, stronger, and more frequent than normal fears, they can affect a child's thinking and behavior.

Others experience depression. Depression goes beyond ordinary sadness - people can feel so depressed that they feel hopeless and unable to cope with daily work. Depression can interfere with sleep, appetite and thinking ability.

Because emotional disturbances and attention problems often go hand in hand, every child with ADHD should be assessed for co-occurring feelings of anxiety and depression. Anxiety and depression can be treated, and by helping children manage these intense, painful feelings, we can help them cope and overcome the challenges caused by ADHD.

Of course, not all children with ADHD have an additional disorder. Nor should all people with learning disabilities, Tourette's syndrome, oppositional defiant disorder, conduct disorder, anxiety, or depression have ADHD. But if ADHD is indeed accompanied by another disorder, then the combination of problems can seriously complicate a person's life. Therefore, it is important to pay attention to other disorders in children with ADHD.

Therapeutic effects to alleviate and eliminate symptoms.

If you suspect that your child has hyperactivity symptoms due to attention deficit disorder, contact your pediatrician. You may learn, for example, that it will be enough to give your child a new pair of glasses or prescribe other medications to restore order in the family. If the presence of this syndrome is nevertheless determined, then there are various types of treatment that will help you in this situation.

The long-term prognosis for hyperactive children with attention disorders is good if they receive appropriate treatment. Then they do well in school and many of them get on well in life as adults.

Consider medication treatment. Your doctor may recommend a combination of several medications, including antidepressants and stimulants such as Ritalin. (Some drugs that act as a stimulant in adults appear to promote better concentration in children and, as a result, calmer behavior.)

However, all such drugs have side effects. In some cases, it is mildly expressed - in the form of decreased appetite and insomnia. In rare cases, side effects of drugs include facial tics, heart disorders, or liver disorders. Ask your doctor to explain to you all possible complications of drug treatment. It would be quite reasonable to seek the opinion of another specialist - a pediatrician or child psychiatrist - before treating a child with these powerful drugs.

If treatment with special medications is started, you should notice an improvement in your child's behavior within one to three weeks, depending on the medication. If you find a side effect of the drug or lack of effect within the specified time, insist on changing or stopping treatment.

Use the reward method. The motivation for a child’s actions with excessive activity and unstable attention is well regulated by a reward system. For correct behavior or completion of a task, a child may receive a reward in the form of an extra hour of watching television or a portion of pizza.

When using these methods, it should be borne in mind that the tasks assigned must be consistent with the child's capabilities, and the rewards must be provided immediately. If a child does not receive his due reward within three weeks, it is difficult for him to realize why he tried to do something good instead of doing wrong.

Try to avoid scandals. Restless children are often unstable. There is a simple way to alleviate these disorders. You need to go somewhere for the time when the child has an outburst of anger. If your child follows you into another room, lock yourself in the bathroom or bedroom so that he cannot reach you.

When the child sees that there is no one to watch his performance, his irritation will quickly pass. In this way, you can make it clear to the child that he must calm down himself, and you will see that this actually happens.

Instead, try saying, "Well, now you've finally got your boots on. I was sure you could handle it. But let's see if you can do it a little faster next time." Even if you are 200% sure that this achievement is the fruit of your efforts, do not forget to tell your child that he completed the task.

Do special exercises with your child. Many restless children do not have a correct understanding of time and speed. If you ask such a child to quickly walk across the room from one end to the other, and then slowly in the opposite direction, he is unlikely to understand the difference.

Here relaxation exercises - deep breathing or yoga - can come to his aid. (Your doctor may refer you to a specialist who can teach this to children.) There are special games that help your child learn to listen carefully and solve problems on time. With the help of these games you can teach him to act slowly and concentrate.

Follow the rule: “divide and conquer”. Children with increased motor activity are able to concentrate only for a very short time. They have difficulty following complex instructions. Therefore, it is very important to break tasks into several small parts.

If your child has 25 math problems to solve, give him five problems at a time, distributing the entire task evenly throughout the evening until he completes it.

Additionally, if you ask your child to do something, give him simple and concise instructions. If your instructions go beyond one sentence, they are considered too long for children with these disorders.

Restlessness. In what case should you consult a doctor? Advice for mothers of restless children

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