Fear of Public Speaking: How to Deal with Fear? How to get rid of the fear of fighting? Opinions. Sign up for martial arts

Did you know that, according to American studies, fear of public speaking ranks first among all other fears? In second place is the fear of death! If you are afraid of public speaking, you are not alone. First of all, you should understand what fear is. Fear is the expectation of pain. So is your fear real or fictional?

Steps

Overcome your fear of public speaking

Realize the source of the fear. This source is ignorance of what might happen when you speak in front of people. It’s not that you’re afraid that you don’t own the subject of your speech. You are afraid that you do not know what will happen when you go on stage or stand in the pulpit.

• On the way to a good performance (speech, seminar, presentation) there is a fear of condemnation, the fear that you will make a mistake, do not calculate something, and experience physical or emotional pain. Remember that the people in the audience really want you to succeed. Nobody comes there hoping that you will perform badly and boringly. If you go to them with reliable information and present the material clearly enough, you have already won ¾ the battle with your inner fear.

1. Face your fears. If you feel your knees tremble and buckle with fear, remind yourself that fear is clinging to something that does not appear to be reality. You can say with almost 100% certainty that whatever you fear, it won't happen. If there really is a real cause for alarm, for example, you forgot an important props, figure out how to get out of the situation, and stop worrying about it. Remember, you can always conquer fear with your mind.

   Take a deep breath. Do breathing exercises the day before your performance - they help relax both the body and the mind. You can do one of them anywhere, even a minute before leaving. Stand up straight and calmly, feel the firm ground under your feet. Close your eyes and imagine that you are floating somewhere near the ceiling. Listen to your breathing. Tell yourself there is no hurry. Slow down your breathing so that you can count 6 seconds on the inhale and 6 seconds on the exhale. This will help you achieve a relaxed and confident state.

   Relax. To truly relax, you need to master the art of letting your imagination run wild. Imagine yourself being made of soft rubber. Or imagine that you are sitting in front of a mirror and use your lips to portray a horse's whinnying. Why not lie down on the ground and pretend that you are flying? Or just collapse to the ground like a limp doll. Imagination allows you to release tension in the muscles of the body, and this, in turn, gives an overall feeling of lightness and relaxation.

   Learn to engage your audience. If you still haven't taken a professional course on public speaking, look for a training program that's right for you. Mastering the art of public speaking will dramatically increase your success in meetings, at sales presentations, and even increase your chances of moving up the career ladder. This is a must-have skill for any manager and business owner.

   Use the wall punching technique. This is the technique used by Yul Brynner, the star of the musical "The King and I". Here's what to do. Stand about 50 cm from the wall and rest your palms on it. Push the wall. At the moment of the push, your abdominal muscles will contract. As you exhale, push out the air with a noise and contract the muscles below the ribcage, as if you are sailing in a boat against the current. Repeat the exercise several times and your stage fright will disappear.

   Realize that people can't see if you're nervous. When you go on stage or on the catwalk, no one knows that you are worried. You may have stomach aches and nausea in your throat, but your behavior will not betray anxiety. Sometimes, when it comes to public speaking, people think that everyone is clear about their excitement. And this makes them even more nervous. There are not many signs, and extremely subtle ones, that betray a person's excitement - usually, if they appear, then only for a split second. So don't worry about it. Others do not see the panicking creature inside you.

   • Bluff. Stand up straight with your shoulders back and your head held high. Smile. Even if you don't feel particularly happy or confident, you still behave that way. If you look confident, your body will trick your brain into convincing it that you are truly confident.

2. Keep in mind that adrenaline triggers a rush of blood to the fighting centers of the brain located at the base of the skull. Place your hands on your forehead and massage it gently. This will cause a rush of blood to those brain centers that are responsible for the success of your speech.

   Exercise. Take any opportunity to practice - find communities or organizations where you can host speaking engagements. Remember to choose a topic for public speaking where you can consider yourself an expert. Speaking on a topic you are not familiar with will only increase stress and complicate your speaking.

   Buy software that allows you to record your speech on your computer. Take notes and listen to them to see what needs to be done in the future. Invite pros in the field to your talk and ask for feedback. Whenever you have to perform, use it as an additional learning opportunity.

3. Get ready. Make sure you are fluent in your presentation material. Write a detailed outline, break it down into major sections, and memorize them. List subsections and title your presentation. Below is an idea that helps you memorize the logic of speaking:

   • Match each part of the plan to a specific area in your apartment / house. The first point is the entrance hall. The second is a corridor, kitchen, hall, etc. (take a walk in your imagination around your house)
   • Match each subsection of the plan to the painting on the wall. Imagine a picture in a painting that will help you remember the main point of the subsection. The funnier the image, the better the memory will work (the main thing is that these images do not distract you from the performance).
   • In the morning before the presentation, take a mental walk around the house to “decipher” the memorization technique.
   • Trust yourself.
   • Only you know what you are going to say or do, so it's okay to make changes to your presentation during the presentation. (And it's perfectly okay not to say word for word what you've written in advance.)
   • It gets easier over time. Practice is a great thing.
   • Remember, your excitement is invisible to you.
   • Don't take anything personally.
   • SMILE and try to put in a couple of jokes to hide your excitement. The audience (in a good way) will laugh and think you have a great sense of humor. Just do not try to make the audience laugh in serious situations - at a funeral or important events - or you risk incurring problems!
   • Remember, even the best pros use every opportunity to learn new things!
   • Tell yourself, "The one who stands before everyone is worthy of admiration."
   • If you think that the people you are speaking to will be too critical of you, imagine in their place your loved ones, relatives, friends and speak as if for them. Those closest to you will not criticize you for mistakes.
   • Be yourself.
   • Remember that when you are asked to speak, if you are in a service position, you will never fail. Remember, this is not about you. It's about who you are speaking for - your audience. You are not a star - they are stars.
   • If you go to school, always volunteer to read a text or assignment aloud.

   Warnings

   • Don't ruin your performance with Power Point! Overusing this format will lull your audience to sleep!
   • Do not give incorrect or unsupported answers. Offer to postpone the discussion and ask "would you mind if I answer your question during the break, because I need to clarify the information."
   • If you don't know the answer to a question, ask the audience (you don't even need to admit that you don't have an answer - you just address the question to the audience).
   • (try not to stand in pulpits, tables, or any other physical object that serves as a barrier between you and your audience).

There are two types of people in the world: those who like to speak in front of a crowd, and those who turn to stone with fear at the sight of a microphone. How to become the first type and how not to be afraid of public speaking, read on.

How not to be afraid of public speaking

Fear of potential failure and stage fright are completely natural and are common to many people. It is important for us to understand what is really behind the fear of speaking, so that we can effectively counteract it.

Stage fright or fear of possible failure is a state of incessant anxiety that grips the person who is about to perform in front of a large audience.

Listen to the following tips:

Know your subject

Nothing suppresses the fear of performing as well as being prepared. Know the subject and text of your talk. And most importantly, know your audience. If you know what you are telling and to whom, you have no reason to panic.

Knowing the subject will allow you to be more natural and convincing in your presentation. And if any technical failure suddenly happens, it will not embarrass you at all: after all, you are 100% confident in your knowledge!

Know your report like the back of your hand and rehearse as much as possible (preferably in front of people) - and you will have faith in yourself.

Calm yourself down

Despite the fact that stage fright is "just in the head", fear has specific physiological manifestations. Your listeners may notice it. The best way to deal with it is to replace negative expectations with positive ones. Instead of worrying about what will happen if you forget what you said, think about what will happen if you perform well in front of an audience. While it sounds trite and simple, positive affirmations can really help relieve stress before public speaking.

Imagine the worst possible scenario

If positive thoughts don't help you, think about the worst-case scenario. Once you imagine it, you will realize that this scenario is not that scary. This will help you relax.

Imagine the results

Call it whatever you like: reflection, imagination, meditation. It doesn't matter what name you give it - just do it. Imagine your ideal performance in front of an audience where you shine with enthusiasm, humor, confidence and professionalism. The more you think about success, the more likely you are to achieve it.

The world doesn't revolve around you

You may feel like everyone is just waiting to ridicule, criticize, or condemn you. But this is not the case. Let go of the feeling that the whole world will blame you for all your mistakes.

Focus on your presentation, on the audience, on what you are willing to give them. By doing so, you will reduce the tension that is already building up within you.

When something went wrong

Sooner or later something will go wrong. The microphone or projector may stop working. If you own the topic and content of your report, then this will not greatly unsettle you. The microphone is not working? Never mind, raise your voice and continue speaking. The technical staff is probably already working on a solution to the problem. And yes, let them worry, not you.

Take it easy and don't get ahead of yourself

Take your time to finish your talk as soon as possible. Start your performance calmly and slowly. This will allow you to choose the optimal speech rate, get used to the audience, and allow the audience to get used to you.

Concentrate on the first five minutes

Imagine your entire talk is only five minutes long. This makes the performance less stressful. Focus on "getting through" the first five minutes of your presentation - this will be enough time to calm you down and get involved in the process.

Never apologize for your excitement

For most of your speech, you will appear calm and will not betray your excitement in any way. So why tell the audience about it at all? Let it seem to you that your knees are trembling - no one in the audience will notice this, believe me. So just don't mention it, or your audience will get nervous themselves, stop listening to what you say to them, and start judging your manner of speaking.

Don't talk about your mistakes

You have prepared and rehearsed your performance, you feel great. But, being already on stage, you suddenly realize that you are confused or forgot to say something important. At such times, you need to remember that you are the only one who knows about this error. Your listeners don't suspect anything. So even if they remain in happy ignorance, it is not worth informing them about it. If you admit your mistakes, some listeners will deliberately start looking for other flaws. You will divert the attention of the audience from the main purpose of your presentation.

Come in advance

Being late will only increase your excitement. Come to the place of your speech in advance, get used to it. You can even go up on stage or walk around the hall to feel more relaxed.

Warm up

When you are nervous, the muscles in your body stiffen. Do a little warm-up fifteen minutes before your performance. This will release muscle tension and relax your body.

Breathe

Excitement is always accompanied by rapid breathing, which leads to a lack of oxygen and loss of composure. Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself a minute before you step onstage.

Check everything twice

Do you need to use a laptop or any notes in your report? Check if everything works. When you stand at the microphone, it will be too late to run after forgotten papers and notes. And this will greatly diminish your confidence. Know the text of your speech so well that you can continue to speak without hesitation even in the event of force majeure.

Don't try to fight your fear of performing. Work with him! You must prepare yourself and accept the fact that in the first few minutes of speaking, you will be extremely excited. The more you try to suppress your anxiety, the stronger it will become. So focus on your presentation and the excitement will slowly recede.

How to get rid of the fear of public speaking - video

Being a social being, a person can still treat other people ambiguously. Fear of people - as a form of social fear - is increasingly common in society and has an impact on people's mental health.

The specificity of anthropophobia becomes clearer if we trace the behavior of a person with fear of people:

• awkwardness(constraint) movements and behavioral reactions in public places (“in public”) - anthropophobes always think that they will be ridiculed, that something is wrong with their clothes, appearance, actions;
• excessive excitement during or before communication (even ordinary), avoidance of "meeting with gazes" - people with fear of others, when talking with someone, always experience discomfort (palms sweat, heart beats intensely, breathing becomes confused), try to end the interaction as soon as possible;
• confusion of speech and manners of expressing judgments - such people confuse themselves, jump from thought to thought, drop something or bump into something, this makes them even more worried, stumbled and confused;
• panic stupor may occur- a feeling of panic is experienced simply from the thought of a possible participation in a public event, about communicating with many people or about a future performance;
• scripting, how to avoid even the very hint of a situation of interaction with others.

Fear of people differs from social anxiety in the following ways:

• fear of all people without exception;
• seclusion of a way of life, voluntary seclusion;
• excessive control and sensitivity in violation of personal space.

With anthropophobia, another interesting detail of fear can arise - selective fear. It manifests itself in the fear of certain specific personalities: obese women, foreigners, noisy children, loud men, old women, gypsies, homeless people, and so on.

Anthropophobia reasons

The difficulty of uncontrollable fear of people is that it does not have clear reasons. Psychologists and specialists in the field of psychiatry have long concluded that anthropophobia is a companion of many mental disorders, diseases or disorders.

A kind of catalyst for her "presence" in a man or woman is compulsive behavior, expressed in the performance of obsessive movements, actions and deeds.

The purpose of such acts is the function of protection - from the phobia itself, from the states, emotions, feelings and experiences accompanying it:

• So, a person can master incessant counting - being in a crowd, he begins to count the number of people he meets (without stopping, with unquenchable activity).
• The feeling that you can contract some kind of disease from the people around you also indicates the presence of fear of people in the individual. Therefore, any communication is reduced to them "to naught", even with relatives, friends or simply close people.

Focusing on the causes of anthropophobia, it should be mentioned that it often manifests itself in adolescence, regardless of gender.

The reasons for this type of phobia can be described as follows:

1. Children's fears, stress and psychological trauma... Faced with violence, aggression and other negativity, the child comes to the conclusion that the most comfortable thing for him is to be alone with himself. This pattern carries over into adulthood.
2. Intense criticisms and rejection from people who are significant to a person. This hurts self-esteem, lowers self-esteem to the lowest levels and leads to a defensive reaction - avoidance of communication and interaction with people.
3. Neurosis with incessant fear getting into a mess, embarrassing or embarrassing situation. The constant expectation of such circumstances leads to excessive suspicion and bias, forcing one to adhere to a strategy of isolation from society, social events and performances in front of a large number of people.
4. Personality traits... Here, the determining factor of the fear of people is the psychology of the individual, his specific features that distort the perception of social reality: an introverted character, melancholic temperament, a tendency to reflection and self-examination, the peculiarities of the formation of a person as a person.
5. Influence of stereotypes... Socially desirable qualities are instilled by parents, in childhood: for example, boys should be masculine and unsentimental, girls - feminine and docile. Inconsistency in the perception of their own characteristics and characteristics that are valued in society - if they do not coincide, leads to the emergence of a fear of social assessment and communication in general.

How to get rid of fear of people

Anthropophobia is not as harmless as it might seem with superficial perception. It affects not only mental functions, but also contributes, for example, to the occurrence of cardiovascular diseases (vegetative-vascular dystonia, etc.).

Treatment of fear of people becomes more complicated due to its specificity: the very first step - seeking help from a specialist in overcoming phobias - causes significant difficulties for an anthropophobe.

Lacking the proper communication and interaction skills, he becomes more and more convinced of the impossibility of everyday social actions, demonstrates asocial behavior, thereby exacerbating his anxiety and obsession.

The timely intervention of a professional psychotherapist (psychologist or psychiatrist) will help to overcome the fear of people, which will help to establish the correct diagnosis and the root causes of the emergence of fear, the selection of an adequate method of combating fear.

To overcome the fear of people around you, you need to take a number of steps:

• First- awareness of the very fact of the existence of fear and its detrimental effect on the personality, recognition of the problem.
• Second- establishing and concretizing the content of the problem (what exactly frightens the most - the people themselves and their large number, the fact of the need for communication, etc.).
• Third- search for a way out of a terrible situation. For an anthropophobe, this is an expansion of one's own communication (development of a positive scenario for the circumstances of interaction with other people, conscious encouragement in expanding the circle of communication).
• Fourth- consolidation of the achieved results. Communication skills are something that can and should be developed. First, through single actions and successes, gradually expanding their communication capabilities, seizing the potential for successful communication - a person can make fear of people recede.

These steps will face tremendous resistance - it is difficult to master in an instant what a person fears and avoids most.

Therefore, you need to train with a gradual increase in the load - from a few minutes and small moments, to more global actions in communicating with people and with significant time frames.

An approximate set of techniques and exercises for developing communication and interaction skills with people around:

1. You can start by gradually getting used to the interaction. This is where mediated communication comes in. For example, through the phone - it allows you to enter into communication anonymously, the reactions of a person with a phobia of people (redness, squeezing of improvised objects, abruptness of movements) on the other side of the line are invisible.

Antrpopfob can call the help desk and find out several numbers of some firms or consultants. Or ask about the work schedule of any services (utilities, household). You can also use the information stations of the stations, finding out the transport schedule. To simplify the task (in the initial stages), you can write down the questions on a piece of paper and just read them out.

2. To expand interaction with representatives of society, it is necessary to "go out to people": take a ride on the subway or other form of public transport. Better not during rush hour and not on too busy routes.

You can also observe people, become interested in them - mentally imagine how they "live and breathe." You just need to find a comfortable place - from a psychological point of view of a person with a phobia - (a secluded corner in a park or an uncrowded cafe, restaurant) and take a closer look at the people around, get used to them and become interested in their life.

3. The next step can be direct communication. For its implementation, either an acquaintance is selected with whom it is more or less comfortable to talk (someone from relatives), or someone from neighbors or employees. Long communication is not worth planning right away - just a couple of questions and an interested listening to answers.

4. It is important to find common topics for communication. Any hobby or topic in which the anthropophobe understands and is a specialist will help here. Being interested in the content of the conversation will distract from thoughts of anxiety and fear.

5. The next stage in the development of the skill to communicate and interact should be the stage of communication with strangers. You can introduce yourself and strike up an unobtrusive conversation with a person who, on the way from work or to work, with a neighbor in the area, discuss a play or a film after watching them together.

Anthropophobia can be called a disease of people in a big city (megalopolis), where there is a forced need for contact with many people:

• as for work or personal matters;
• and an elementary meeting with the "brothers" in public transport;
• eating together in a restaurant or cafe, etc.

The success of the activity in realizing the desire to overcome the fear of people depends on how much a person can adjust himself to a comfortable feeling in such conditions.

Video: Social phobia

Paralyzing fear, emanating from somewhere from within and always manifesting at the wrong time, breaks the plans created. It would seem that you have found the one you were looking for, here she is standing right in front of you, but uncertainty in words and timidity in the body deprive of any chance of gaining female attention.

The fear of meeting a girl is a common disease inherent in any age group, and what is most dangerous, if you do not identify the main cause of the occurrence, then it is very likely that it will be preserved for life.

We will analyze the main reasons for the emergence and manifestation of "fear of approach" in order to save you from this ailment and give you free communication in any situation!

What is Fear of Approach?

"Fear of Approach"- a complex and individual feature causing the fear of communication with the opposite sex. There is only one way to get rid of it once and for all, one, but guaranteed to be an effective method.

Read also:

Any fear, not only the fear of girls, is the result of negative experiences in the past. The very experience that brought physical or mental discomfort.

When you, showing initiative and courage in anything, stumbled upon "sharp rocks", there was an unpleasant imprint in your memory, which is then superimposed on all subsequent attempts to change the situation.

The cause of its occurrence could not be so much you yourself as the environment, namely: An unpleasant interlocutor who greatly offended or offended, a pretty girl who rudely sent you or a friend who laughed at your idea, which you have since been afraid to implement.

If you strain your memory, then each of us will find in the secluded corners of consciousness those very "black" days, through the prism of which the perception of present and even future life goes.

But how, then, if everyone has similar memories, and the fear of acquaintance, even though many, but still not everyone? This is an individual matter, depending on willpower, character traits and temperament. You can even intensify this disease by saying that it was originally inherent in everyone, and to overcome it is your personal duty! But let's not exaggerate the already dark colors, this is not true, but everything is exactly the same in relation to you!

How so? It's simple! A woman is mystery and obscurity, and the unknown always causes fear, that's why there is a mystery, so that they would solve it!

Hearing once again a burning "No" means adding plus one memory to the piggy bank, from which you so want to get rid of. Vicious circle? Before trying to open it, you need to get rid of existing complexes and prevent the emergence of new ones. It's like trying to solve a math problem without going through a topic, and convincing yourself that you're stupid every time you get the wrong answer! It's funny and naive, but this is how it happens when dealing with girls.

Fear is not a physical phenomenon, but a protective mechanism of the body that makes itself felt every time you strive to conquer the unknown! In our case, the identification of the world's mystery is a beautiful girl!

A guy who is ashamed of himself is wondering how to get to know a girl? - instead of asking - What do you need to get rid of the garbage in your head?

How to overcome your fear of dating?

The actual treatment process follows a very simple, but long-to-learn formula: To get rid of bad experiences in the past, you need a positive result, at least once, this will be more than enough!

Just how to succeed in where you are long years pursued by failure? Next time, when an opportunity presents itself, when there will be again a beautiful lady, on whom you have already laid your eyes, you need to "turn off your brain"! It sounds crazy, but now you will understand everything!

When the same or a similar situation is repeated, the event or several events that caused your panic complexes and fear of opening your mouth, the brain automatically reproduces in the subconscious "unsuccessful takes". Such a lever of self-preservation, which is impossible to get rid of, but it is necessary to learn how to control. You remember the past, which stops you in the present, again I will hear "No", again they will not support me, like last time, they will laugh at me again, and so on.

“Turning off the brain” means not thinking about it, just forgetting and forgetting about what was once. Relax, it's different this time. Another woman, another time and perhaps even a different you, just do not think about the bad experience. It sounds easy, of course, but in reality it is not enough.

Until you get it into your head that the new girl is a blank slate, nothing will help. This sheet provides the opportunity to draw, and portray yourself as you like, do and say what you want, of course, this is a metaphor, but the essence is clear.

If you don’t cheat yourself once again, don’t think about your own, most often fictional complexes, then everything will go exactly as you imagine. One successful time is enough for healing, and a long list of failures will fade into the background, in comparison with the long-awaited success.

A woman a kilometer away senses complexes, phobias, timidity of words, as well as a body, remember this! To hear "Yes" from the desired lady, you will have to practice your appearance, manner of speaking and behaving in society.

Fear of girls limits you not only in communication, but also reinforces the false idea of ​​personal inferiority. And what of this may be the consequences, I think, is not worth telling. No need, they are afraid. You are not going to tame a wild beast, capable of tearing to pieces. And this is something much more dangerous.

As soon as your spiritual world takes on the correct and appropriate channel, the body will cease to give out signs of fear and insecurity, since the fear of women simply will not be in you.

It all starts with the head, and as long as there is a mess and confusion in it, there is no point in going in for sports, hoping to attract with the body. Even an athletic physique and good looks will not give you confidence, as the reason for the "fear of approach" is not a physical disability, they say, you are too ugly for her, but deep in the subconscious.

• Think over a replica, which you say after the words of acquaintance. The thoughtful beginning of the dialogue gives confidence and a state of peace.
• Give a mental countdown from 3 seconds... Then just go and go. The brain itself turns off after such a sharp jolt and no longer burdens you with unnecessary doubts.
• Argue with a friend that you can meet a girl. You will either achieve your goal, or you will lose respect for yourself, which is very unpleasant. For motivation, you can also make a money bet, so that the desire to deviate from the goal finally disappears, and the victory will also bring money!

Additional techniques: how to tune yourself to the right wave, from a professional pickup artist:

Psychology of communication with girls

In order for a conversation with a lady to be the easiest and most enjoyable, you need to know and understand the features of their psychology. Learning interesting communication is not difficult only if you have a goal and aspiration.

You need to be able to take the right position in any dialogue, namely to be not only a silent listener, but also to complement the girl, clarify and ask relevant questions. This is similar to communicating with a friend, the principle is similar, but it has its own differences. At least the fact that unlike a friend who can understand your isolation or silence, a girl is not capable of this... Here you yourself have to set the tone and vector for the development of the dialogue, make it interesting and fun.

Here are some tips that you can not just follow, but must be followed if you want to learn how to attract female attention in communication:

1. Don't complain. Never dump your problems and difficulties on her, no one else cares about them. Everyone has personal concerns, that's why they are personal, as they require an independent decision, and not public discussion.
2. Develop your horizons. Be well-read and erudite, the more information you have, the easier it is to win over your surroundings. First of all, you need to do this for yourself. As soon as your personal growth begins to differ from the one that was yesterday, life will sparkle with new colors. Information owns the world, it is the most valuable resource, being a source of knowledge is always useful and profitable.
3. The conversation must be active. You must sound confidently, clearly and, most importantly, live! No one wants to listen to a mumble, while a good speaker can interest even a boring topic. Having mastered this skill a little, the attitude and respect for you will only go up the hill!
4. Be able not only to tell interesting stories, but also to listen convincingly. The girl should see your interest in her words, understand what is interesting with her.
5. always pleasant to everyone. Do not hesitate to talk about the beauty of her figure or hairstyle, about a well-chosen accessory and the scent of perfume. So you will also emphasize your attentiveness.
6. A man must remain a man under all circumstances. It is necessary, if possible, to strengthen your authority with bold and good deeds, to cause some admiration for your person.
7. Learn to surprise. This is a good way to show your originality and originality. Nice gifts and interesting tricks are what you need!
8. Don't run after a woman, show your independence. Why would she want another errand boy? Be as unperturbed as you need to be conquered. Make it clear that you are interested in her, but not by courtship, but by the fact that you will not be in a row with her Fan Club!

Common topics for conversation with a girl

In fact, you can talk about anything, as much as possible and anywhere! The question is how to come to this result? In addition to a good and close relationship, you need mutual trust and understanding of each other. To overcome the barrier of permissible topics, you can only gradually get closer to the interlocutor, and then, the boundaries will be erased.

If during the meeting, you could not even connect two words, then, ultimately, you can spend hours discussing absolutely everything that surrounds you. However, you can start your first live dialogue with the topics listed below. They can help you open up emotionally, express your thoughts, and establish regular communication.

Examples:

• Clothing. Ask what famous brands she likes, what clothes she prefers and, of course, compliment her taste.
• Almost everyone has pets. A short story about your pet, be it a cat or a fish, and why exactly are they?
• If your relationship is close enough, you can bring up the topic of sex. Discuss familiar couples, do they really fit together?
• Religion. One of the topics that you can talk about forever, and still not budge. You will learn well about the views, philosophy and method of life of the interlocutor, besides, it is very easy to switch to ghosts, spirits and other supernatural phenomena.
• Cinema. Talking about films is perhaps one of my favorite topics when meeting each other. We ask what genres she likes, express our opinion and say what we like, explain why, and then invite to go to the movies. The topic is very broad, you can touch upon the actors and in the same way argue which of them are the most significant.

In addition, when talking about your favorite movie, your words will automatically be supported by feelings and emotions, you will enthusiastically tell what you think about this or that. Interesting and ideal theme, especially recommended by me!

• Favorite books. Unlike films, if you put it bluntly and inaccurately, you can offend a girl. Since a negative review of the book is taken personally, as if speaking of bad taste. Of course, these are little things and the topic is certainly great. What, if not read books, can characterize a person?
• Hobbies. Simple and obvious. Conversation about who does what, loves and why. We ask about plans for the future and get even more interesting things.
• Food. The tastiest, most exotic food you've ever had. What's in your daily diet? You can also invite to a cafe or restaurant in order to try something delicious!
• Favorite holidays and preferred gifts. Surely you will find out the birthday, ask what you wanted, what would you give her. Favorite season, month and why it is!

Fear of girls is, first of all, complexes, which must be immediately got rid of! Detailed instructions in the video:

A relationship building expert teaches you how to overcome your fears. Must-see !!!

The fear of public speaking is present in everyone. Some are more afraid, others less. Some people know how to hide this feeling in the depths of their souls, while others cannot cope with it. But from time to time, each person is faced with a situation when it is necessary to speak in front of other people. You don't have to be a speaker or showman to do this. But you may need to make a speech at an interview, wedding, birthday, and in other situations.

Fear of publicity is just an instinct. This is an echo that comes to us from the distant past, when the ancestors were still wild and lived in the forests.

95% of successful people know the secret of how to overcome their fear of public speaking. They got rid of fear. And many of them even make a living doing it. Not a profession, but a fairy tale: getting paid for talking a lot.

If you are just learning how to get rid of the fear of public speaking, then the information below is especially for you.

Tips to help overcome your fear of public speaking:

Write what you want to say on a piece of paper. You need to write by hand. So you will better remember the information and you will not need to peep at the leaf all the time. Think over the report to the smallest detail.

At least don't do it ahead of time. Tune in to a positive outcome. You don't have to be perfect to perform in public. Have you ever seen on TV or live how TV workers or officials confuse and say the wrong words on the air? But because of this, they do not run away and do not hide. All people make mistakes. No one is immune from mistakes.

It will be easier for you if you have a support group. I mean not a noisy company with banners, but 1-2 people who can support you. Have them sit in the front row and focus on them as you speak. Since there is no guarantee that strangers will listen to you with open mouths. Each of those who come has the right to listen or not.

If you have no one to take to the event, then look over the heads of the audience. Many public people and artists do this. Don't focus on faces. Consider hairstyles better. And from the outside it will look like you are looking people in the eye.

You will be judged by your appearance even before the first spoken word. In advance, in front of the mirror, look at the options and choose what you would like to dress in. Work on your image to the smallest detail. If you have doubts, seek help from a person who is competent in such matters. After all, if you look good, then you will feel more confident. The image should be stylish and modern, but discreet or vulgar.

Do not use psychotropic substances or alcohol. Learn to breathe properly and you won't get nervous. Due to the lack of oxygen, stiffness occurs and the person is indistinctly protruding. If you learn to breathe smoothly and evenly, inhaling deeply, then these problems will disappear by themselves.

By adhering to these rules, you will soon experience a change in sensation as you perform and prepare. But it is worth adding a couple more recommendations: do not gorge on tightly before the performance, do not radically change your hairstyle the day before, have a good rest and sleep. Stick to these rules and you will be successful.