What should a woman who doesn’t need men to live do? Why do modern women need men?

In our modern world every person does what he pleases, denying them true purpose provided by nature itself. Then questions arise - why did the problems begin in the relationship? And all because they go against nature... against their essence....

Trainer-psychologist, teacher true essence, director of the consulting company "Practicum" Oleg Silyavsky talks about the right roles men and women, the immutability of human nature and why paying 40 rams for a lady is right.

What should be the ideal roles of men and women?

In my trainings, I often ask people to imagine a simple biological model. For example, there is a house on the edge of the forest, a man, a woman and five children live in it - as it used to be. And from here flow all the roles, functions, consequences, who should treat whom how, who should do what. Yes, in material and social terms everything has changed: people live in comfortable apartments, there is no need to cut down forests or carry firewood. But at the same time, the archetypal nature of man remained the same. If people do not follow it, then problems and certain defects begin: psychological, social.

In general, in the modern world there is a clear distortion of the roles of men and women, it’s amazing. People are too far removed from their true nature and do whatever they want. Men forget their roles and functions, women lose theirs... In this sense, now it really is a complete mess.

If we follow your model, then it turns out that a man should fully provide for a woman?

Of course I should. Definitely. Otherwise, he loses his masculine essence and degenerates. There is such a thing as a spiritual path, and everyone follows it, whether they know it or not. If a man does not realize his true biological function, then his path, his psyche turns out to be distorted. It's the same with a woman.

Does a man owe a woman anything?

If he is a man, then first of all he owes himself, his masculine nature and your spiritual path. A man's duty, his natural nature, is to be a warrior, a protector, a patron. And if he doesn’t do this, then he’s not a man. Of course, a person can act differently. He really doesn't owe anyone anything. But then let him accept the consequences of what he does, of the fact that he does not fulfill his specific purpose. And the consequences will be sad - both for men and women who do not want to go the natural route.

What are the consequences?

For a man, this is the destruction of a business, loss of the meaning of life, depression, alcoholism, impotence. There are a lot of options that nature has prepared. Women have a violation of their nature and correct spiritual path lead to loss of beauty, weight gain, and female cancer.

At first it all seems fun, especially in at a young age. These consequences have not yet caught up... In Hinduism and Buddhism, such a concept as karma is professed. This is actually a wonderful law - the law of karma, or, as it is also called, the law of universal justice. But even if we remove the mystical side of the issue, the law of karma really exists. And here it is not even necessary to cite all these Buddhist stories about reincarnation. The law of universal justice works already in this life. The essence of this law is very simple: the choices we made yesterday determine our lives today, the choices we make today will determine our lives tomorrow. Therefore, those people who today make a choice against their true nature can first enjoy and receive a lot of pleasures. It seems to them that they have gotten rid of unnecessary obligations: to provide for a woman, support a family, or - for a woman - serve a man, maintain a hearth, raise children. But a person can be happy for a year, two, three, and in five it will catch up with him. And after eight it will catch up with him so much that he won’t think enough. I have been practicing for twenty years and have seen so many destinies! It actually works like clockwork, and people don’t even realize it. They think: this is the world, you know, do whatever you want in it. But it is not as simple as it seems.

What is the true path of a real man?

First of all, he must have a Business. For a man it plays a fundamental role important role. If he has no business, then he is not a man. To say “profession” here would be incorrect. Is being a businessman a profession? Or an artist?

Again, in a simple biological model, the head of the family must go hunting every day or plow the land. Then he survives, his family survives. Therefore, the main male path, spiritual development connected precisely with the case. This is the first priority.

And the second priority is a woman. Because a man needs, how to put it, to get rid of the fruits of his business. If a man doesn't have loving woman, then his life begins to be completely delusional. For example, he begins to reinvest the fruits of his labor. This is what many businessmen do who have problems with their relationships. That is, I created one business and received a lot of money. Where should I put them? We need to invest in the next business. Invested in the next one. Now where to put them? After all, if a man is successful and has created one business, he will create two or ten. I thought about getting rid of the money, but there were twice as many of them. We need to start a third business! He will be so bent, he will live his whole life in these businesses, and then at the age of 70 he will discover that everything has passed him by. There was success, but there was no happiness, he was still building a career, doing something else.

Therefore, every man should ideally have a woman who would waste his money.

Right into the wind?

Yes exactly. Women waste money, this is obvious. But first a man needs to earn money. And this is in traditional cultures was always indicated. Unfortunately, in the modern world, most traditional practices have been lost. But in some places such cultures still remain. For example, in the East, such a phenomenon as bride price has still been preserved. And that's right, I tell you. This is very correct. Because if you can’t pay 40 rams, you can’t trust a woman.

What if a woman doesn’t want you to pay 40 rams for her?

And they have no concept of what a woman doesn’t want. It's a different upbringing. And the man is also sure: if he paid 40 sheep, he knows for sure that the woman wants him, the children, and the kitchen. I saw it all with my own eyes.

And a man, perhaps, gets pleasure from the fact that a woman wastes his money?

Of course, this is obvious. Perfect family- this is a family in which the woman does not know where the money comes from, and the man does not know where it goes. For the money, this is a superb example of a pair. A woman always has a lot of wonderful ways to spend her money.

A man doesn’t know how to spend cash just like that, he always counts, thinks about how best to invest funds. Strives to ensure that there is always a profit on invested capital. And a woman spends easily. I bought a ring for 9 thousand dollars, for example. And this one was still small, it would cost 25 to get a bigger diamond. Once - and 25 thousand are gone, gone down the drain.

Money in in this case- this is a continuation and embodiment male love. Gifts, flowers, houses, cars, fur coats and specifically cash. If a man loves, then he gives all this to the woman.

Why else does a man need a woman, other than to spend money?

In general, a woman for a man is one of best sources investments. Provided, of course, that this real woman. He puts something into her all the time, and she always comes out with something. Once you invested something, you got children, another time you invested, you got a house. On a material level this is important.

On social level- status, they say, I have a woman, and the best and most beautiful. In addition, it gives a feeling of reliable rear support.

And what about spiritual level? This is also very important. On a spiritual level, a woman helps a man in one very important matter - in the search for truth. Men are always looking for the truth, they are itching for everything. That's why there are so many men in science, among the Nobel Prize laureates, for example? Because this is their thing: they want to know how the world works, they want to find the truth. Scientists, religious figures, even politicians, in some way, want to know how this world works in order to command it. This is fundamentally important for a man - the truth. Well, most importantly - the truth about yourself. Find out who I am in this world. And it is a woman who can suggest this. It speaks directly into words who you are. Goat, for example. And if you’re lucky, he says: “You are my hero.” And that’s it, the man immediately becomes enlightened. Only a real woman can give a man the true image he is looking for. And give it exactly in the way he needs: I am a hero, I am a winner, I am the best in this world, because such a woman loves me, and she tells me about it.

And yet, a lot has changed. Previously, gentlemen stood up when a lady entered the room, but now it is not customary to give up a seat to a girl on public transport.

The fact is that classes have shifted a lot. Who were the real men in Rus'? Mostly officers, nobles. Like Tsvetaeva: “with one fierce will you took the heart and the rock”... And they behaved accordingly. But these were really men!

And then in Rus' almost all the men were destroyed. For about a hundred years there was a total genocide of the male population. Look. First World War, then October Revolution and the Civil War - the destruction of the entire color of the White Guard, the nobility. Those who were not killed were expelled from Russian territory. But these were best men not only Russia - the world in general! Further. Dispossession is the extermination of men in the countryside. Those who could actually do something, create a product, run a farm. Then, through Stalin’s purges, the Red commanders, the thinking intelligentsia and, in general, everyone who was capable were destroyed. Patriotic War finishes off all the others who were heroes and went to defend their homeland.

As a result, our women were left with no one. It would be good if there was one man per village after the war. Women are accustomed to having to do everything themselves. It’s like the post-war proverb: “I am a horse, I am a bull, I am a woman and a man.” After this, the next generations are brought up in a distorted field: boys - in an infantile feminine key(there are no men around), and the girls are like draft horses. And then this scenario is passed on from generation to generation. And it still works. Our women strive to be independent. I read this on Facebook recently. How to find a real Russian woman? Three-step technique. Set fire to the hut, disperse the horse, wait. [Laughs - approx.]

The Russian woman still strives to grab everything herself. “Can I bring you the bags?” - “No, no need, I’ll do it myself.” And it’s okay that the man left, she will earn money herself, she will raise the children herself. And she thinks she should be applauded for it. Previously, yes, when there was no other choice, it was heroism. But now the situation is different, there are a lot of men. And here we shouldn’t applaud, but throw tomatoes at her for ruining the children’s lives, because these boys, raised without a father, don’t know what they should be like a real man, and girls don’t know how to deal with the opposite sex. Vicious circle. She shouldn’t applaud, but say: “Listen, you sick woman, get rid of your idiotic script, attract a normal man into your life. You don’t need to work three jobs and raise children. Learn to be a woman, learn to submit, obey, adore a man, admire him, and everything will be fine with you.”

That is, a woman does not need to build a career at all, but should only engage in borscht?

A woman cannot build a career. Is not female image life. And a woman cannot work. The female body is simply not designed to handle stress. Well let's see. Let’s take this box that you have in the editorial office, and we’ll walk with it down the corridor 20 times. First me, then you. You'll see what happens.

Well not designed female body for workloads. A real lady should not work, she should have something to do, and a favorite one at that. If it brings her a good profit, I will be all for it. [Laughs - approx.] But if it is not profitable, it does not matter. A woman shouldn't earn money!

I'm not saying that a woman cannot receive money or other dividends - fame, respect, recognition - through social merit. Please, for God's sake, let him do whatever he wants. The main thing is that this does not become a job for her. Because only men really know how to work and can do it. But women are not created for this work. Their body and psyche are tailored to a completely different occupation. First of all, this is borscht, you said it right. Just don't be so skeptical about it. Borscht is a great thing. But here we need to look more broadly. Not just borscht. This is the same as saying that a man is designed only for a hammer. Only narrow-minded cynics say this, both on the part of men and on the part of women. Everyone has their greatest role in this world. Borscht and a hammer are only the tools of this greatest role. Key Features women, which includes borscht, are femininity and motherhood in the broadest sense. First you have to be a woman, and then, if she is able to attract and keep a man, start a family, it will come to motherhood. And if she is bad as a woman, then she will not become a good mother. And femininity is, first of all, beauty, the same one that will save the world. In other words, a woman has two main functions: beauty and care, femininity and motherhood. By the way, you can build some kind of business on them. Women are most successful in careers that are related to these areas. For example, model business. Or restaurants, all sorts of clubs - where you have to take care of clients. And when women start managing factories... To do this, I would say that you need to have it, but I won’t be with you. The woman doesn't have this.

Ecology. life. Psychology: Every woman has a secret age when men become indifferent to her. Both in a sexual sense and in general. For some, this happens closer to retirement, for others around menopause, and still others decide to do it by the time they are thirty. A woman who has given up on men is identified for once.

Every woman has a secret age when men become indifferent to her. Both in a sexual sense and in general. For some, this happens closer to retirement, for others around menopause, and still others decide to do it by the time they are thirty. A woman who has given up on men is identified for once.

The main sign is that she is an aunt! With bad hair, tired eyes and deposits in unnecessary places. Boring, grumpy, and with clipped wings. What happened to her? She reached an age when men are not needed, and she gave in under the weight of resentment and disappointment.

Why is the age secret? Because the woman doesn’t tell anyone about him, except perhaps the most stubborn feminists. You have never seen a woman who would gather everyone in a circle and announce her disappointment in men. This is simply indecent. Although something tells me that there are such things.

How can we understand what happened? The woman seems to cover her heart with iron. The strength of her pain is such that she decides not to let anyone else near him. She stops trusting men, looking for men, and doesn’t even want to imagine that there is a man who is ready to fall in love with her. The price to pay for the calmness of an icy heart is very great. We'll die from office romance remember? Here it is.

What does the heart have to do with it? - someone will ask. Men are basically about a different organ. You can safely use them without experiencing any mental anguish. I might agree. But a woman’s heart always has something to do with it, right?

A couple of years ago, Cleopatra’s baths came into fashion. Allegedly, Cleopatra used the sperm of young slaves to maintain her youth. The girls tried it, they said it was a lie. Does not help. Doesn't remove wrinkles and doesn't brighten your eyes. The sperm whale sperm is also disappointing. Why? Because everything here is past the heart. A woman is rejuvenated and made more beautiful only by injections into the very heart. There is no place for simple sexual mechanics here, although they are very important.

Have you ever noticed that a woman in love is good even from a distance? Even when she doesn’t see her lover, but communicates with him by calls and SMS. Sex is in her head, but does it look prettier in reality? How so?

And all because love and passion are really ready to work miracles with us. Rejuvenate, make beautiful. But this only happens to those who believe in love. The rest will have to live out their lives as aunts. And it’s not even a matter of wrinkles, but the age-old dust of disappointment in the eyes.

So if they ask me until what age do women need men, I will say until their last breath. I know that it hurts, that sometimes it’s terribly hard, and you feel emptiness and disappointment, and you’re ready to cover your heart with ice, if only this wouldn’t happen... But it’s impossible. It’s not like dying as an aunt.

Do you think there is an age when women can no longer think about men and forget about themselves as a sex object? published

Liliya Akhremchik - psychologist, coach

I remember once reading an article where one man popularly explained why accomplished men over forty do not need a permanent relationship. They say there is enough money for there to be someone to do homework: cooking, washing, ironing, cleaning the house, etc. You can always find someone to go out with, and there will be more than one option. If we talk about the benefits regular sex V permanent relationship, then, firstly, for mature man this question is not so relevant, secondly, if you are successful, then having sex is not a problem at all. In addition, a mature man, in addition to work itself, has a lot of hobbies and various activities: hunting, basketball (football, volleyball, etc.), sauna with friends, traveling, fishing, etc. And no time limit! No one burdens you with the fact that you owe something to someone: arrive on time, don’t forget to give a gift, stop somewhere “along the way,” think, take care, etc. And in the comments people tried to convince them that it was good, they say, soul mate nearby that the person did not meet true love, and therefore tries to decompose its existence into components.

For the last few days I’ve been thinking too... And I can’t find any reasons... Why does a successful woman need a man? Let's immediately discard the arguments “from time immemorial” and “naturally laid down.” Let's talk here and now about the present tense, okay?

Shared life. Honestly? For a man, living together only burdens him. It is not the man who is burdened, but he who is burdened by himself. Moreover, scattered socks are generally a trifle.

What is usually instilled in a man by his mother? You must be looked after. And I, being an independent, separate person, can’t understand why I’m so happy. Why would I be happy to ensure that an adult like myself is clean, well-fed and well-groomed?

He won’t keep an eye on mine, right? If I have a need to take care of someone, then children and animals more than compensate for this need. So caring for another adult is only on the terms: you - for me, I - for you.

I will say more, at the sweet age of forty, the need arises for you to be taken care of. I’m already close to inviting a housekeeper to cook and clean for myself, and not aggravate my existence with obligatory breakfasts, lunches, dinners with the appearance Serious relationships. So come to me or me to you - only in order to make my life easier, and not to hang yourself on me.

What if you dealt with it yourself? And, in general, do you continue to cope normally? There is an apartment. I made the repairs. Even worries about: “who will nail the nail and hang the mirror?”, “who will connect washing machine?”, “Oh, there’s no one to assemble the furniture!” It turns out that they are quite successfully solved by specially trained people. And yes, now I don’t know any work that can’t be done for money. Without any favors, repairs are done for money at a service station and for money they organize a technical inspection.

You say, what about support? We swam, we know. The man is weak, not psychologically stable - he strives to jump off. Women are more reliable for support. Visit at the hospital. Lend money. Smoke a beer in the evening. Talk over cards in a cafe. Heart-to-heart conversations are generally better to do with women. Well, you get the idea.

Oh yes, important! Sex. The same situation as for men. No problem. Moreover, the options range from 22 years to... Well, it’s a matter of taste. Having a serious relationship seems to promise regularity and quality, but in practice it is far from a guarantee. For men, the same things happen as for women: “tired”, “trouble at work”, “no time for that”, “well, if you stir me up” (this is generally fu-fu-fu!). Another disadvantage of habitual sex is that when a man examines a woman’s body, he becomes even more primitive (a man, in the sense) than he actually is: he pressed this button, stroked it here. The entire prelude is five minutes, the act itself is three. So I beg to differ: the new guys are trying!

What follows is not so important, but interesting. I watch the series, I watch TNT, I watch Comedy Club. And I think... Happiness. It’s fortunate that no one grabs the remote control and starts searching for news on all TV channels. It’s fortunate that no one tells me that only stupid women watch TV series. I’m lucky that no one bothers me at all in the evening. I'm happy that I can pour myself a glass of wine. Or a glass of cognac. And no one will say reproachfully: “Aren’t you getting drunk?” I’m happy that I can drink coffee at 11 pm and not listen to: “Can you sleep later?”

I’m happy that I can decide for myself whether I can sleep or not. I’m happy that I can watch 16 episodes of the series I like in one day, and no one gives me shit about it. I am happy that I do what I want, work the way I want. No one looks over my shoulder when I write and comments: “What a mess!” or “You’re texting guys again!” Nobody says about my clients: “What kind of suckers come to you?” And of course, only I myself determine what kind of makeup suits me, what I should wear, what color I should dye my hair and, in general, how long my hair should be.

In general, I'm satisfied. I'm happy with what I have. I love. For this I have a little boy and a big girl. Mom, sister, my godchildren. My dear friends.

There is a lot that you still want. Thai boxing, Osho's dynamic meditations, salsa, tango, travel, exotic cuisines of the world, the same jewelry, cinema and works of art, complex authors and new books, grooming, English and Chinese, and... Be yourself, helping people.

Sometimes men view a woman simply as an object to satisfy their needs - sexual, domestic, procreation, respect among friends and relatives, acquiring the status of a family man. In return, the man is not going to offer anything, believing that he is already giving himself and the status of his wife with a stamp in his passport.

Conditionally good men They are honestly ready to give something in return other than their loved one, and they offer the woman a deal, he gives her money, security, living space - she gives him sex, everyday life, a child.

It is not surprising that when a woman “for some reason” abandons such men or exchanges them for another, she hears only curses and accusations of a cowardly, mercantile feminine essence.

And if a woman herself is financially independent and developed and has been married at least once, then she simply does not need a man in pants in principle, and it is not clear to her what he is for. If earlier it was simply impossible to survive in the village without a husband, or not being married meant for a woman to be a second-class person, which again comes from dark peasant times. Now, if a man is not an oligarch, a woman will always go into the red.

Why does this happen?

Some men forget about emotional needs women, how can you seriously love someone who treats her as an object?

Of course, this is not their fault, almost the entire generation that grew up in the 90s turned out to be a little emotionally “flawed,” the lack of parental warmth did not allow men to develop a full-fledged mental and emotional apparatus, and the boys grew up cold and emotionally dull.

But is it a woman’s problem to warm up “unopened flowers” ​​if there are a lot of normal men, and foreign gentlemen are a problem emotional dullness don't suffer.

Men who give to women warmth, love, care, tenderness, loyalty and devotion, no one ever gives up. Even in Hard times, if a man has a difficult financial situation, or he was fired.

If in another they see a person, a personality, then this causes a deep response, relationships develop according to a completely different scenario, and are built on completely different principles, where there is a place for trust and understanding, and there is no place for betrayal and pure consumerism.

Often your own sexual desire to a woman and the desire to appropriate her, men call " great love“, and complain that they loved her so much, wanted her, called her, gave her flowers, but she didn’t appreciate her like that. At the same time, they themselves were not emotionally involved in any way, did not give themselves, at least partially, to another person, were not interested in inner experiences and the desires of the woman herself. No one gave her emotional warmth and tenderness. There was only their infantile “I want!”

A good relationship does not start with consumption or trying to satisfy your desires. Love begins with the realization that the other is a separate person, with his own joys, sorrows, past traumas, strengths and weaknesses, another unique universe different from yours.