How to learn to speak the truth, or gaining complete freedom. How to learn to always tell the truth

What do you have, what to say, but for some reason you stand aside and are silent? Stop thinking that your thoughts and ideas are less important and unique than those of your friends or colleagues. Each person is interesting in their own way, so don't be afraid to show people your personality. If you do not start to say what you think, then you will have to say all the time what they want to hear from you. The same will happen with actions.

Start talking. Pick a day and say whatever comes to your mind, of course, within reason. If this task is difficult for you, then try to limit yourself to one phrase. This does not mean that you have to say what you think once. You should voice your thoughts at the exact moment in which you would like to remain silent, while knowing what to say. Increase the number of phrases the next day.

Use your inner monologue. Ask yourself why you didn't say at one point or another what you thought. What exactly stopped you? If this is modesty, self-doubt, fear, then you need to be active with this. As soon as any of the above becomes the cause of yours, try to overcome yourself and express your opinion. The less often you fight it, the harder it will be to start saying what you think.

Saying everything is also far from the best option. Every time before you do something, think about whether it needs to be said, whether it will ruin the relationship, whether it will damage your career, whether it will not be used against you. The proverb that says "always think what you say, but don't always say what you think" has not been canceled yet.

Try to express your thoughts as often as possible: at work, with friends, in public places. Over time, you will definitely succeed.

The ability to speak with confidence, as well as to express one's thoughts clearly and intelligibly has always been highly valued in society. In the modern world, without these qualities, it is especially difficult for a person to achieve at least some success in the professional field. And at the household level, it is equally important to be able to defend your opinion, find a common language with people and negotiate.

Instructions

Before you start talking about something, think about whether you know what you want to say well enough. If you do not understand the topic of the conversation, you will never feel confident in front of the audience, confused and confused in the conversation, you will look ridiculous. Consider and plan your speech ahead of time.

In order to learn to speak with confidence, you first need to overcome your shyness and lack of confidence in your abilities. If you act boldly, the people you are talking to will never feel your fear of them. A strong and persistent desire to achieve your goal will definitely help you. No matter how your heart beats, behave calmly and confidently, stand erect and look your listeners directly in the eyes.

It will be easier for you to get rid of, and you will feel more at ease if you do something in front of your audience, such as picking up a book or opening a window, moving a chair, or writing something on the board. You will also feel more confident speaking at a table or holding a chair.

The ability to speak is directly related to the ability to read smart people. To obtain the information you need, you have a lot of opportunities - the Internet, movies, etc. Try to memorize some interesting words, vivid turns of speech. Educate yourself constantly.

Rehearse your performance in front of people. To do this, you can use a mirror and a voice recorder. Listen to yourself, analyze what you can change to make your speech more.

Any skill comes only with experience and great practice. If you want to speak confidently, practice speaking more. At first you can practice with a small audience and soon you will see how your confidence goes away and builds up. Experienced speakers also advise newcomers to treat the audience kindly from the start so they reciprocate and you feel confident.

From childhood, parents taught us all to speak the truth and not lie, but life sometimes develops in such a way that from time to time you have to say not the truth to get out of an unpleasant situation, to avoid problems with superiors and loved ones. Even if it seems to a person that the lie was small and imperceptible, over time, his whole life can be overflowing with various lies. That is why, in spite of everything, it is recommended to always be honest with yourself and with others, and learning this honesty is not difficult at all.

Instructions

Whatever trends are present in the modern world, honest people are still respected and considered stable and reliable. In addition, which is important, honest people who have proven their truthfulness, which means that they can rise in life much higher than those people who are used to lying and dodging, changing the situation in their favor. The openness and stability of the honest inspires admiration in other people and improves the admiration of the object by allowing him to be himself.

Frequent deceptions cause constant, a feeling of anxiety, deceivers do not sleep well and are constantly worried that their lies are not revealed. If you speak, your sleep will be deep, you will not have to worry about your own reputation, and most importantly, you will be confident in your own strengths.

Try to be honest with other people - at first it may seem like a difficult task, but over time you will be surprised to notice that your soul has become lighter, your psychological has improved significantly, and your anxiety levels have subsided. Plus, honesty is the best way to reach other people's hearts if you want to finally be appreciated like that.

Of course, the information that you give out to other people should be filtered, and some data should be kept with you, since the pure truth is not always positively perceived by the interlocutor. But, nevertheless, if you keep some of the truth inside, you will not lie, but simply keep silent about some things, avoiding excessive directness. Try to say in such cases the truth more gently, hinting at it and finding workarounds so as not to hurt or hurt the interlocutor.

Gather your courage and start talking the truth, no matter what you are asked, even if it is not easy to do. Be open - speak in the first person, validate your personal opinion, emphasizing that it comes from the pure. Start talking the truth people around you, touching small things - for example, tell your spouse that it is time to replace some of his things with new ones. Over time, your ability to be honest will spread to bigger and bigger things.

If you're worried about ruining your relationship with someone by telling them the truth that he does not like, first let him know that you respect and value him. Try to apologize to friends and coworkers if you've ever lied to them. Apologize from the bottom of your heart. Complimenting people is also a manifestation of honesty, which not everyone dares to.

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Truthfulness and honesty are positive character traits. However, there are situations when your straightforwardness can harm both you and those around you. In such cases, it is better not to tell the truth.

Lie to the rescue

A common situation is when a person lies to show himself in a better light than he really is. If this does not cause significant harm to anyone, it is better to hide the truth in such cases. However, when other people's interests may suffer from your deliberate deception, it is worth considering before lying.

It happens that people lie at work when their manager is interested in the volume and timing of the work performed. If an employee honestly says that he has not started the task assigned to him all day, this will negatively affect his professional reputation, and in some cases may even lead to the loss of his job.

It is clear that a person has the right to make a mistake, but a strict boss can have his own opinion on this matter. Therefore, let the lie to the employer remain on your conscience.

Good intentions

There are times when telling the truth can hurt another person. If at the same time there is no benefit from your directness, there is no point in rebelling the soul of your loved one, friend or acquaintance.

Sometimes they hide his diagnosis from a seriously ill person, and he, not knowing that he is doomed, gets out. Perhaps if he had been told the truth, the healing would not have happened.

We can say that it is your duty to hide bad news from loved ones. But remember that while doing this, you must control the situation. By hiding the truth from your family, you automatically take responsibility to ensure that your hiding the truth does not bring negative consequences.

Superfluous details

It happens that a person does not lie, but does not say something about something. This is not a bad thing, again, as long as others do not suffer from his actions. For example, some questions are fictitious and do not need to be answered in detail.

Also, there is no need to tell about many things to young children and especially impressionable natures. It will probably be better if you hide from your child the whole truth about some terrible incident that does not directly concern him.

Politeness

Sometimes etiquette just forces people to lie. Imagine that you came to visit and you didn’t like absolutely anything: neither the interior, nor the food, nor the outfit of the owners, nor the behavior of their children.

When the hosts ask you about what impressions this visit left you, and whether you liked everything, you probably won't tell the whole truth. And you will do the right thing. Your honesty will ruin the mood of people who have kindly invited you to their home. And your criticism is unlikely to be of practical use.

Or think about what will happen to your environment if you tell each person about all his shortcomings that you think about from time to time. You may notice small flaws in the behavior or attire of acquaintances, but you will not talk about them. And this is true, because such a truth is usually not needed.

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Hello, my dear readers and blog guests! Truth is a seemingly very simple thing. But it is given to almost everyone with great difficulty. Lies are easy to pronounce, the consequences are rarely too severe, and the temporary benefits are there. In addition, ordinary fear often makes people lie. Therefore, from early childhood, they are accustomed to it. The trouble is that honesty is always and in everything no one needs. Others deceive each other out of self-interest, and from the best intentions, and for salvation. Nevertheless, the expressed lie pulls with it new and new streams of it. In the end, the person gets tired of this and still has to tell the truth.

The need to stop lying

People most often lie when:

• talk to their superiors;
• talk about their successes;
• promise something to a wife or mother;
• give an obligation to complete some work on time and with high quality;
• hide their mistakes;
• justify themselves to their partner;
• refuse the invitation;
• change;
• talk about love, etc.

Sooner or later, most people have to take the path of honesty.

It will be quite difficult to do this the first time, but with each new truth expressed it will become easier, and soon it will become commonplace.

It is desirable to start speaking it small. For example, in response to the question: "Do you love dogs?" You can safely answer: "No, I'm afraid of them." Nothing bad will happen. The person himself, having taken the first step on the path to truth, will understand that the stated truth does not bring with it any catastrophe.

Very often people are afraid of offending another and endure what is unbearable for them. Or you can just say: "I don't like tobacco smoke, let's not go into this bar." A friend may be disappointed, but it is much more important to preserve her health than trying to please everyone and everyone.

Having become honest, a person will feel calmer, stop worrying about the consequences of lying. He will be able to release a large amount of internal energy previously used to suppress negative emotions associated with the need to tell a lie. Because if a lie is revealed, it turns out to be a huge blow to his reputation.

In personal relationships, the acquired habit of not hiding anything from each other will greatly strengthen the relationship, create genuine intimacy, and grow in love with each other.

The first steps towards eliminating lies

1. You can first try to express some truth all alone. For example, that I do not want to go to the theater because I am tired, and not at all because I was urgently summoned to work. Listen to your words and find that there is nothing wrong with them.
2. The next step needs to be done with the interlocutor. He talks about some well-known situation. Another suffers, but pretends that he is very interested. He sees his sour expression and is offended, taking him for a bad attitude towards himself. Therefore, it is better to immediately say: "You know, I have already heard about this, it is very interesting." Then the conversation will take a different direction and everyone will be calmer.
3. In the case of hiring, do not tell stories about yourself. Needless to say, there is the skill of working with the most complex equipment, the English language has been studied perfectly and there is an opportunity to stay after the end of the working day. All this will be revealed immediately and at the end of the probationary period, the contract, most likely, will not be extended. It is possible that for the employer this is not at all important, and he asks questions simply according to a given scheme.
4. In personal relationships, too, you should not get into the jungle of lies. The man tells the woman that he wants to marry her. In fact, he doesn't even think about it. His girlfriend says she loves him so as not to lose her partner. The relationship takes on an increasingly fake form, hurting both. Therefore, when asked whether there will be a wedding, it is better to answer that it is too early to talk about it.
5. A special case is a lie out of pity or compassion. Of course, it is unacceptable to tell another person that he looks bad today or is wearing an ugly and unfashionable suit. But at the same time, you can especially not be zealous in lying. In order not to offend the interlocutor, it is advisable to simply keep silent or answer a direct question that today I have not yet had time to look closely at him.

How to learn to tell the truth

There are a number of other situations where you can be honest without stressing yourself and others. It is enough just to say:

• I was late today because I overslept, sorry, this is the last time;
• I made a mistake in the calculations, I will correct it now;
• I didn't succeed, I'll try again;
• I will not be able to come to visit you, because I have to go to the other end of the city, and today it is severe frost. I am afraid of catching a cold;
• you have offended me greatly with your words;
• I forgot to buy bread;
• I don't like sleeping with the lights on. Would you like to read in the kitchen?
• I changed my mind about going to your mother;
• I'm sorry, but I won't marry you. I still have to think;
• I don’t like it when they don’t give a check from the purchase right away;
• this model of dress does not suit me at all, please choose another one;
• no, I do not need the help of the seller, I want to inspect everything myself;
• I don't like it when they swear in front of me, etc.

You need to understand that this is not the beginning of a scandal or a showdown, but a simple statement of facts.

It is possible that the boss will not be angry at all because of being late, but will only slightly scold the employee, especially if it happened for the first time. In any case, a completely calm and businesslike atmosphere will be created. So it will be much better than piling up fables about a sick grandmother or an accident that happened.

If you make a mistake, you should also not exacerbate everything with lies and try to hide your mistake. When the truth comes to the surface, it can lead to very unpleasant results, up to and including dismissal. Therefore, it is better to immediately admit your guilt and correct it as soon as possible. People around you understand that this can happen to anyone. While it will be unpleasant for them, they will accept the need to wait a bit to get the correct data.

Do not try to become a truth-lover and a truth-fighter. Absolutely no one needs this. It is simply desirable to make the lies around become less and less and it would gradually cease to be the norm of life.

The criterion can be the understanding of what exactly the person himself would not want to hear from another, and what he would take down, even though it would seem unpleasant to him. Accordingly, and regulate the degree of honesty in their words.

More interesting articles

Situations often arise when it is simply necessary to tell a person the truth. At the same time, I really do not want to offend my colleague, friend or acquaintance. It's just that it is difficult to convey a specific thought to him in another way.

We will try to figure out how it is necessary to tell the truth and not injure the interlocutor.

It is easy and pleasant to tell the truth.
Yeshua Ha-Nozri. The Master and Margarita.

Outcome

Try to notice more positive than negative in the person. It is much easier for a person to accept criticism if it comes from the lips of someone who periodically praises and supports. Agree, if you tell a person that he is an excellent friend and comrade you can rely on, but in this situation he did not act quite right, then the perception will be completely different.

The main ailments of our time are lies and duplicity. From the point of view of psychology, lying is a bad habit, a consequence of a bad character, bad upbringing. What is the spiritual view of this problem?

I think the main reason people lie is fear and self-doubt. A person wants to appear better than he is, he is afraid to fail. If we add to this personal complexes, ambitions, envy, then lies and pretense become both an instrument for achieving goals and a way of life for such a person.

Of course, an important role in this problem is played by upbringing, the level of culture, the manners instilled by the parents. It is from the family that we take out the fundamental concepts of life and the "matrix" of behavior. Unfortunately, lately, parents have been trying to teach their children to achieve their goals in any way from a young age. This is the so-called psychology of leadership - if you are kind, honest and sentimental, then you will simply be "eaten" by the stronger ones. Life is seen as competition, struggle, and virtuous character traits as weakness. We are already reaping the bitter fruits of this approach to life - the lumpenization of society, the inability to hear and understand the other, disunity and anger. As it is said in the Holy Scriptures: “The fathers ate sour grapes, but the children's teeth were set on edge” (Ezek. 18: 2). No wonder, because false priorities lead to false goals. Initially, the deception in this case lies in the fact that a real leader is not one who knows how to manipulate people and get benefits in everything, but one who is able to sacrifice himself for the sake of others.

I am talking about this so that it is clear that a lie is not only a personal problem of an individual person, but it is something that can globally affect the life of the whole society and even all of humanity. And with all the diverse types of human lies, the circumstances of their occurrence, it is obvious that its main reason lies exclusively in the spiritual realm. It is no coincidence that the devil's second name is Liar, Slanderer. This is the primordial cause of that dark energy, with which the slightest untruth is connected, any distortion of the truth.

Lying is not just a sin. It is the main "component" of sin, it is the basis of any sinful act or thought. Probably, a person would never have sinned if he had not been deceived by the messages of sin. As St. Basil the Great says, "Hell cannot be made attractive, therefore the devil makes the way there attractive." Sin always deceives a person, and in every fall, the sinner becomes a hostage of lies.

According to the teachings of the Monk Abba Dorotheos, lies are manifested in three ways: by thought, by word, and by life itself. If a lie by thought consists in the unintentional substitution of a genuine "role" in which a person would like to see himself, then a lie with a word is already a conscious distortion of reality. Abba Dorotheos refers to the concept of "lying by life" as the deep sinful depravity of a person who is accustomed to vice, is not afraid of it and is not ashamed of it. But since public opinion nevertheless condemns vice, and nevertheless values ​​virtue, a person considers it beneficial to hide under a virtuous mask. This lie lies in the cynical duality of life itself.

Abba Dorotheos lists three reasons that lead people to lie, which are also the basis of all sin. This is, firstly, voluptuousness, that is, the desire to fulfill every desire; secondly, the love of money - the desire to acquire material values; and, thirdly, popularity, which in the case of monks was expressed in an unwillingness to come to terms.

- Lying outside generates a lie to oneself: a person ceases to expose himself, to admit to himself honestly what he has done. This leads to false confession and, as a result, to depression. How do you start telling the truth to yourself? And what is self-deception fraught with?

Saint Theophan the Recluse teaches that "one must be able to divide oneself into oneself and the enemy that is hidden in me." The main trick of the devil is that he inspires a person that his thoughts and feelings are himself. When we begin to separate ourselves from our own emotions, feelings and thoughts, then they can no longer control us.

Self-deception is always associated with self-justification, the belief that anyone can be guilty of a particular problem, but not myself. Avoiding problems in this way makes it impossible for a person to solve them. Therefore, the Monk Paisios Svyatogorets said: "In justifying yourself, you seem to be building a wall separating you from God, and in this way you break off any connection with him." We need to learn to be responsible before God and people for our lives, actions and thoughts. Do not hide your head in the sand, but open your heart to God, Who, seeing the sincere aspiration of a person, will always help and direct you on the true path.

The starting point of the spiritual life of everyone is an honest look, turned inward. Therefore, it was said by the holy fathers that the first sign of a soul's recovery is the vision of one's sins, countless, like the sand of the sea. Until a person realizes the depth of his fall, does not see his weakness and by his own strength will try to build his life - he will only be disappointed and endless wanderings. Passion blinds us, manipulates consciousness. Therefore, in order to see the real picture of your situation, you need to shift your own ego from the center of life and look at yourself from a different angle. It is important, in addition to your shortcomings and spiritual illnesses, to see also the One who can heal from them. It is only in the power of the Lord to save us from ourselves, our own passions and sinful habits. Without God, an honest look at oneself can end in despondency and despair. Spiritual diseases are healed by the grace that a person receives in the Sacraments of the Church, prayer and repentance.

The gospel gives us not only the truth about ourselves, but also the hope for correction. I came across an interesting analogy from a spiritual writer. He compared the sinful fall of a person with exercise on a trampoline: the lower the point of fall, the higher the person “rises” in repentance. Therefore, knowing the truth about yourself, honestly exposing your shortcomings, seeing them is not self-flagellation or humiliation, but the only way out of the personality crisis.

Interviewed by Natalia Goroshkova