Writing a condolence. Short words on the occasion of the death of loved ones. Samples of written condolences for death

Page 2 of 2

21. There are no words to express all the pain and sorrow of our soul.

22. Eternal memory of you.

23. You are always in our memory.

24. I miss you so much for complete human happiness.

25. I feel empty on earth without you. 26. Thank you for living (living).

27. Great sorrow cannot be measured, tears of grief cannot be filled with tears. You are not with us, but you will live forever in our hearts.

28. We would give everything, a piece of our heart, If only yours would beat again.

29. The heart went out like lightning, the pain will not be extinguished by the year, Your image will forever be kept in our memory forever.

30. Everything was in him (her) - soul, talent and beauty, everything sparkled for us like a bright dream.

31. How much of ours went with you, how much of yours remains with us.

32. You left (left) life incomprehensibly early, Parents are oppressed by sadness and a wound is bleeding in their hearts, Your little son is growing up without knowing the word “mom” (“dad”).

33. You left (left) so early, without saying goodbye and without saying a word to us, How should we continue to live, making sure that you will never return to us.

34. Your mother’s tears, your father’s sadness, your brother’s loneliness, your grandparents’ grief will be eternal for you.

35. Like drops of dew on roses, there are tears on our cheeks, sleep peacefully, Darling, we all remember, love and mourn you. 36. The earth is empty without you.

37. Forgive us for bringing flowers to your stove under the starry sky. I'm sorry that we were left with air that you didn't breathe.

38. They don’t part with their loved ones, they just stop being close to them.

39. We cannot find words to describe our grief, We cannot find strength in the world to lift you up, Our words cannot even be contained in the sea, How cruel is the fate that took you away.

40. Unable to overcome grief, bear the pain of loss, No one could help you, forgive us (name), forgive us.

41. Having left a mark in the hearts of people with our good deeds, We do not say the word “no”, we say: “You are forever with us.”

42. Time stopped running and pain squeezed my whole soul, A man like few in the world passed away.

43. You left life, but not your heart.

44. How I want to scream in pain that you are no longer in the world!

45. I will never meet you, and I know it will always be like this.

46. ​​The earth became poorer with one flower, the heavens became richer with one star.

47. Angel, dear, forgive me, it’s my fault that I wasn’t with you at the hour of death

48. The heart still doesn’t believe in the bitter loss, As if you didn’t die, but went somewhere.

49. When people forget you, all your friends forget, Only your heart will remember you, and that heart will be me.

50. Unexpected grief, immeasurable grief, the most important thing in life is Lost, it’s a pity that life cannot be repeated, To give it to you again.

52. We come here to lay flowers. It’s very difficult, dear, for us to live without you.

53. We wish you good luck in that unknown and new world, so that you don’t feel lonely, so that the angels don’t leave.

54. Bending over, we stand over your grave, watering the flowers with hot tears, I don’t want to believe, our beloved son (father), that you are in this grave.

55. Sleep well, our dear son (father)

56. You passed away too early, words cannot express our pain. Sleep, dear, you are our pain and wound, but the memory of you is always alive.

57. Love for you, dear son, will die only with us, And our pain and our sorrow cannot be expressed in words.

58. To you, the one and only, we bow our heads.

59. And earthly life ended, all your strength faded away, Farewell, our dear beloved, eternal memory to you.

60. Forgive us that we did not dare to give our love to you during our lifetime. You forgave us, left us, we remained eternal debtors.

61. You lived your life with dignity, leaving us with a memory forever. In a silent world, sleep peacefully, the person we love.

62. A serious illness broke you, you passed away without living, Dear, our beloved son, how difficult it is for us to live without you.

63. We are with you forever, son, God, calm his soul

64. I loved you very much, I always lived by you. Forgive me, my dear son, that I did not save you.

65. You were an example to follow for us. We still live by looking up to you. We come to you, father, on a date, to consult in happiness and misfortune.

66. Your whole life is over with you, you have no life, and we don’t. The dearest, beloved son, beloved child has passed away.

67. You are in us, dear, like our blood, And death has no power over you as long as there is love in the world!

68. Thank you, my clear one, for being in the world!

69. You left us, dear, the mournful hour of separation has come. But everything is still alive, you are in our heart among us.

70. Don’t make noise with the leaves, don’t wake up our mother.

71. You left life instantly, the pain remains with us forever, But we will never forget your beloved tender image.

72. We love you and you are always alive in our memory.

73. Don’t find out where I turned my path, to what limit in life I passed, oh, friend, I did everything on earth, I loved and lived on earth.

74. You, mother, gave us your warmth. We believe that your soul is calm and bright.

75. Let the fire not go out until the end and the memory of her remain, Who awakened hearts for life, and now has found eternal peace.

76. I loved you, I won’t forget you, I will love you forever

77. Quiet, trees, don’t make noise with the leaves, mommy is sleeping, don’t wake her.

78. Sometimes angels descend from heaven, To warm you with their warmth and love, You, our beloved girl, were such an angel.

79. Sleep peacefully, my beloved daughter, You have walked your short journey honestly and joyfully.

80. We love you very much, our daughter. Why did the night hide you so early?

81. You were a clear star, how dim the world became, When the star went out.

82. What words can I find so that you can hear the confession of my soul? And what string to play on, So that you can run, as before, on a date?

83. A rose fell, broken by the wind...

84. Lord, we give you our littlest angel.

85. How could we have thought that on this day you would step from childhood into eternity...

86. You passed away too early, words cannot express our pain. Sleep, dear, you are our pain and wound, but the memory of you is always alive.

87. To our little angel who has returned to heaven

88. You were like an angel soaring into the sky, how little time you spent with us..

89. Calm down, mom and dad! Gentle angels guard my sleep.

90. No, I will not come to terms with the terrible burden of existence until my death. That children die before adults, that you died, I remain.

91. You, baby, were cherished, raised, carried in their arms, taken to kindergarten. They sing to you now, bending over, and eating Farewell at the eternal cradle.

92. Wonderful child, unfair fate did not give you to me, but only showed you and immediately took you away.

93. Words cannot express all the grief and sadness, In our hearts and memories you (you) are with us

94. We are endlessly grateful to you, we do not forget about you, and we remember your souls and hearts alive.

95. No... They didn’t go away, but they repeated themselves in the children.

96. What a pity that we realized late how much we miss you

97. Life separated them, but death united them. Two pure souls are now in one grave.

98. Sleep well, my dear ones, I (we) will dedicate (we will) my life to your memory.

99. You will never be on earth again, But you gave us life, raised us, and left us here as your continuation.

100. Lord, thy will be done!

101. Rest in the Kingdom of Heaven.

102. Sleep in peace and pray to God for us

103. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

104. Lord, with the saints rest the soul of your servant(s) (Name)

105. Give us strength to understand the Divine covenant - With God everyone is alive, but there are no dead.

106. How we (I) miss you, our (my) dear... And only prayer helps us (me) in sorrow.

107. Here rests in peace (Name), so that one day he will be resurrected in Christ

108. The Lord himself sent you to earth. He was your Shepherd and now He has called...

109. You have lived your life in merging with God - Now your path to Him is easy.

110. Don’t pass by, passer-by, stop, bow to my damp grave, pray for me, a sinner.

111. Life on earth is fleeting, but ahead is a heavenly paradise. We will remember you forever, so rise quickly

112. Help and save, protect and cover, Cover me with soft snow, look at me, Here I am all (all) before you, O Lord, give me peace.

113. Nature is wise and the eye of the Almighty sees our every step on the thorny road. There comes a moment when each of us, at the last line, remembers God.

114. The dust will return to the earth, which it was, and the spirit will return to God, who gave it.

115. God created the stars, the blue distance, but surpassed himself by creating sadness for loved ones.

116. Passer-by, pray over this grave, He found refuge in it from all earthly anxieties, Here he left everything that was sinful in him, With the hope that his Savior - God - lives.

117. Lord, he had sorrows and sorrows on earth, Give him joy in heaven.

118. Grant him, O God, remission of sins, Grant him eternal peace.

119. The kingdom of heaven and eternal peace to you.

120. God, forgive his (her) sinful soul and accept him as he (s) was

121. There is no need to cry for me, the soul is subject only to God. She set off on a journey through an unknown country. There is a kingdom of light, a kingdom of stars, There is a kingdom of world harmonies, so take your palms away from your eyes and smile, no need for tears.

122. How the heart cries, the pain cannot be conveyed. We mourn and remember every minute. Time cannot take away this pain. Oh God, help us get through the separation.

123. When the escape of life is torn out without pity, When the body turns to dust forever. Let them make a jug from this dust and fill it with wine: the man will come to life.

124. Life without You is empty. Where the dream lived, flowers die in tears. It's bitter to live without You. Not believing that You will never return to us.

125. Don’t part with your loved ones. Grow into them with all your heart. And every time you say goodbye forever when you leave for a moment.

126. And let the evening light candles for me. And your image is enveloped in smoke. But I don’t want to know that time heals. That everything goes with him.

127. Why and who needs it. Who sent you death with an unshaking hand. Only so mercilessly, so evil and unnecessary. Who let you into Eternal Peace.

128. Don't cry for me when I'm gone. After all, you will find a star in the sky. And my sorrow will leave you. After all, my star is so far away.

129. The pain of separation is incurable. The separation that is forever.

130. Eternal sleep for you, and eternal melancholy for us.

131. The farewell candle will burn out. And your eyes will fill with tears. It's hard to live in the world without you. And believe that you are not with us.

132. To those who are dear in life. Like those who remember and manage.

133. The heart is squeezing, the soul is crying bitterly, There is no important grief, no waste of your life.

134. Your dream will no longer pass, and your month will no longer meet, For the Lord will be your eternal light.

135. Without you, the earth is empty for us. How cruel fate is that it took you away.

136. How much of ours went with you. How much of yours remains with us.

137. We can’t bring you back with tears. Sadness cannot be measured by sadness.

138. It’s so easy to imagine you alive. That it is impossible to believe in your death.

139. Our last debt, a sorrowful stone, The cup of sorrow is full. There is no more joy in the world, Only pain and sorrow remain.

140. That day when your gaze went out and your heart stopped beating, For us it was the most terrible day, And we will not be able to come to terms with it.

141. There are no words in the world to describe our grief. There is no strength in the world to lift you up. Even the sea cannot contain our tears. How cruel fate is that it took you away.

142. You left kindness and love alive, No matter how many years have passed: We love, we remember, we mourn...

143. And he stands before my eyes. Alive, with a smile on his lips. No! No! He is always with us and will live in our hearts.

144. A person leaves the world. Like a guest from a friend's feast. He was tired of the chaos. I finished my glass and finished dinner. Tired. Enough. Rest is needed. It's time to go home.

145. You left life instantly, but the pain remained forever.

146. For the rest of our lives, we will have enough grief and sadness, About the one we loved and so suddenly lost.

147. We could not lose more, our grief has no boundaries. Grief cannot be expressed, cannot be described, there is very little granite page.

148. You believed your friends. Was deceived by love. But there is God above us. Punishment is coming. God's punishment is not a myth. What has passed will return. Those who took you away will be punished.

149. Grief, suffering, despair, the stormy waves of the sea of ​​life are full. Their splashes are tears and blood. But to a man in the vale of languor, wonderful sisters are given as consolation. Faith Hope Love. And encouraging the weary in soul, Faith brings us firmness with it. She casts doubts. We look forward with bolder hope. The dark distance is both clearer and lighter. Full of wondrous joy. The third sister is God's breath, with her no suffering is scary. Her temple is our hearts. It contains compassion, pity, participation. It contains beauty, forgiveness, happiness. The kingdom of love without end...

150. Your hands did not know fatigue. Your lips never fainted. You walked through life loving your work. May you rest in peace.

151. I loved you, I loved life, but it’s not my fault that I didn’t live long. Now for you I will become the wind, a birch tree, a blade of grass, flowers. Pet them mom, it’s me, your pain is with you forever.

152. We only had a little more time to live in the Duma, and we might as well have lived. But the sun has set.

153. We stand bending over your grave. We water the flowers with hot tears, I don’t want to believe, dear and beloved, that you are in this grave.

154. It’s too early to see us. No one could save you. The wound in my heart is too deep. Sorry son, sorry, sorry...

155. You walked through life smiling. He left us all without saying goodbye. It’s impossible to describe how my heart cries. We mourn and remember

156. Pishov’s life is much too early. No one could lie. The wound is so deep in my heart. As long as you live with us.

157. With one flower the earth has become poorer. Heaven has become richer with one soul. You were with us so little in this life. But your memory is always in our hearts. 158. No! Don’t write in the dark, even if your heart skips a beat in agony. Having deprived you of a place to live for your squad, the children and children. 159. Do not bear grief. Don't cry a tear. You've taken your joy from home forever.

160. You loved everyone and sang songs. There is hope and support in the family. The world turned black. The light has dimmed and our grief is inconsolable.

161. Death chose you without asking us. How to live on and will you have enough strength? Our fell and husband, you were loved by us. We remember you and mourn you in grief.

162. We will remember You forever, for being cordial to everyone. For Your wisdom and kindness. For efficiency at the post. For sincere, smart advice. For the warmth that I was able to give. May God open heaven for you.

163. You passed away too early. Words cannot express our pain. Sleep dear, you are our pain and wound. The memory of you is always alive.

164. Oh, if only mommy were alive. We would give anything he asks for. Words... Words... Words... Words... We all pronounce them after death.

165. You lived and loved life. You should live and bloom. But the insidious death struck. Nobody could save you.

166. How the heart hurts, how the soul cries. The day has finally arrived.

167. I choke with tears... You are in my memory through me. It's so hard to bear the price of grief. I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry. What they couldn’t save you.

168. The pain of loss cannot be washed away with tears, and sorrow has no end. Our dear, you will always be with us. In our thoughts, our hearts.

169. Sleep well, our dear one, in a dark house, in the distance. Let our sorrow and our tears not disturb your dreams.

170. Having deprived everything, happy days and death. Life has given you so few years. And instead of youth, love and hope, I gave this granite as a gift.

The culture of condolences has almost been lost in our society. News feeds are full of news about death, but it is not customary for us to talk about death as part of everyday human experience. However, this can be learned... The head of the Center for Crisis Psychology at the Patriarchal Metochion - the Church of the Resurrection of Christ on Semenovskaya told the guests of the anniversary XXV International Christmas Educational Readings about how to speak correctly with a person in a situation of severe loss.

Share the mourner's pain

First of all, you need to understand that sympathy is not a ritual or empty words, but a joint feeling, and condolences are a “shared illness.” By expressing condolences, we make an attempt to take on part of someone else's pain. Condolences can be either oral or written. Just don’t do it in the form of SMS messages - for many, this form of expressing sympathy can simply offend.

Condolence is not easy. Condolence is a risk. Behind the words of sympathy there must be work of the soul; we must be prepared for discomfort, for the fact that a person overwhelmed by grief may react sharply to our words and actions. It must be remembered that unsuccessful forms of expressing sympathy, callous formal words can cause him additional pain, and the invaluable resource of internal strength will be spent not on overcoming the pain of loss, but on… “not killing the sympathizer”…

The sympathizer should not restrain himself in expressing his feelings. It is very effective at such a moment to simply touch the grieving person, hug him, cry next to him, warmly shake his hand. Now, unfortunately, it is not customary to do this, but experience shows that it is much stronger than words. But at the same time, you need to maintain control over yourself in your behavior with the mourner.

To find the necessary sincere words of consolation, you need to think about your attitude towards the deceased, remember the most important moments of his life, remember what he taught, how he helped and what joys he brought into your life. You need to think about the degree of loss and the history of the development of relations with the deceased of those people to whom you are going to express condolences, try to feel their inner state, their feelings.

In word, deed, prayer

We must remember that condolences are not only words, but also actions that can alleviate the situation of a neighbor. Words without deeds are dead. Real help gives words weight and sincerity. Deeds make life easier for the grieving person, and also allow the sympathizer to do a good deed. Only words, even the best and most correct ones, are like a car with a steering wheel but no wheels; real action helps everyone cope with a difficult situation. Do not hesitate to offer help to the grieving person, find out what exactly you can do to support him. We can offer financial assistance, help with housework, in organizing funerals... And we will also really help a family where grief has occurred if we take the trouble to take care of the children living in this family. Children, at a time when adults are immersed in loss and worries about burial, often find themselves abandoned to the mercy of fate. The child reacts to death with a delay, he may not outwardly express his emotions at all, so it will seem that he is coping perfectly well on his own, and yet it is the children in this situation who are the weakest link. Grief can overtake a child in six months, and those around him will not even understand why he behaves so strangely. This is extremely important: children in this situation should not be left to their own devices.

Sometimes mourners refuse help. There is no need to regard such a refusal as a personal attack against you. A person in this state cannot always correctly assess the situation.

You can help by deed, not only by providing material and organizational assistance, although this is also necessary. Our task can and should be prayer - both for the deceased and for the mourner. You can pray not only at home, but also in church, and submit notes for commemoration. You need to tell the mourner that you will pray, thereby you show that you do not stop communicating with the deceased, that even after death you continue to love him.

Reconcile with the departed

Sometimes our resentment toward the deceased or his relatives prevents us from expressing sincere condolences. In such a state, it is, of course, impossible to express sympathy. Reconciliation is necessary, otherwise our everyday words will cause additional mental trauma to the mourner. And if we forgive the offense from the bottom of our hearts, then the right words will come by themselves.

Here it is appropriate to briefly and tactfully ask for forgiveness for what you consider yourself to be guilty of before the deceased, admit your mistake to relatives and say that you are very grieved that you cannot apologize to him personally.

If nothing comes to mind...

If you need to say something, but the right words just don’t come to mind, you can say some standard phrases, which, of course, will not contain warmth, but which, at least, will not hurt the grieving.

“He meant a lot to me and to you, I mourn with you.”

“Let it be a consolation to us that he gave so much love and warmth. Let's pray for him."

“There are no words to express your sorrow. He meant a lot in your life and mine. Never forget".

“It’s very hard to lose such a dear person. I share your grief. How can I help you? You can always count on me."

“I’m very sorry, please accept my condolences. If I can do anything for you, I will be very glad. I would like to offer my help. I would be happy to help you..."

“Unfortunately, in this imperfect world we have to experience this. He was a bright man whom we loved. I will not leave you in your grief. You can count on me at any moment."

“This tragedy affected everyone who knew her. Of course, it’s harder for you now than anyone else. I want to assure you that I will never leave you. And I will never forget her. Please, let's walk this path together."

“Unfortunately, I only now realized how unworthy my bickering and quarrels with this bright and dear person were. Excuse me! I mourn with you."

“This is a huge loss and a terrible tragedy. I pray and will always pray for you and for him.”

“It’s hard to put into words how much good he did for me. All our differences are dust. And what he did for me, I will carry with me throughout my life.”

How not to express condolences

It is necessary to avoid in every possible way in condolences pomposity, pathos, theatricality. A short unsubscribe via SMS is one extreme. But there is another way - to send a long ornate message in verse, which can be found on the Internet in two minutes. Both are equally tactless, and the basis of these two mistakes is the same problem - the unwillingness to work with the soul. We are often prevented from showing sympathy by elementary selfishness, fear of disturbing our own spiritual comfort, as well as a lack of understanding that accepting grief has its own stages.

Completely inappropriate for condolences consolation for the future. “Time will pass, you will give birth again,” “You are beautiful, then you will get married”... The person has not yet really realized his loss, has not mourned the deceased. Maybe in a year it will be possible to say to this girl: “Look, you are so beautiful, take comfort, there will still be family happiness in your life.” But now the grieving person is not interested in the future; the pain of loss in the present is too strong.

Very common is ban on grief: “Don’t cry, everything will pass.” Or even worse: “Don’t cry, you’ll kill the dead,” “You can’t cry, you’ll anger God,” and even “You’re now neutralizing prayer with tears.” You need to understand that in this situation the principle “don’t cry, it will heal before the wedding” does not work. The mourner will simply hide his emotions and withdraw into himself, which can lead to very severe psychological breakdowns in the future. Usually, a ban on grief arises precisely because of “sympathizers” who are traumatized by the emotions and experiences of the grieving person.

Completely unacceptable devaluation and rationalization of loss: “It’s better for him, he was sick and suffered,” “It’s good that his mother wasn’t hurt,” “It’s hard, but you still have children,” “He died because he would have become a bandit.”

Should be avoided at all costs comparisons of losses: “It’s even worse for others,” “You’re not the only one.” A grieving person cannot compare his pain with the pain of others.

And of course, under no circumstances should you put pressure on a person's feelings of guilt: “Eh, if we had sent him to the doctor...”, “Why didn’t we pay attention to the symptoms,” “If you hadn’t left, then perhaps this wouldn’t have happened.”

Listening to Mikhail Khasminsky’s speech, I remembered my loss. The news of my father's death caught me two years ago on a train, when I was already approaching my destination. I knew that dad was terminally ill, but I still hoped... My God, for what?! Why did I even go? I remember at that moment for some reason I was afraid to shock my neighbors in the reserved seat car with my tears. But they treated my grief with understanding. And I will never forget how one girl - I didn’t even recognize her name - simply shook my hand tightly and whispered only one word: “Condolences”...

Newspaper "Orthodox Faith" No. 04 (576)

Hello dear readers. Each of us has faced a situation where it was vital to support a loved one who had experienced loss. And there is no such person who would not think about how to express condolences over a death.

What are condolences

How to convey to a person that you sympathize with him, worry and are simply ready to support with all your might? What are condolences, and what should not be said? Let's try to figure it out.

Let's start with a definition. On the one hand, words of grief are an expression of moral support for a person experiencing grief. On the other hand, it is the duty of a person present at a funeral or death anniversary, an unshakable rule of etiquette that should be observed.

Fact. On the day of mourning, everyone, regardless of desire, must say these two words: “my condolences.”

Funeral words should not offend, offend, or evaluate the current situation. Their main role is sympathy, simple and human. It is not necessary to write poetry, long obituaries and make sentimental speeches about the deceased. Your task is to provide support to relatives - moral, financial, physical.

In addition, one must realize that the burial ceremony is not only a symbolic farewell to another world, but also a very troublesome matter that requires physical and financial assistance, because organizing an entire funeral procession is not so easy.

That is why an envelope with a small amount of money given to a person who has lost a loved one will become so-called humanitarian aid.

Words of sorrow on the occasion of death

Condolences regarding the death of a Muslim should contain the following words: “may Allah grant you patience,” “may Allah forgive your deceased,” “may Allah grant you happiness to your home in exchange for grief.”

Words of grief in this faith also imply instructions, prayers for forgiveness, parting words and wishes for earthly blessings in return for the grief that has overtaken the family.

When talking about the death of a father or mother, you can use established phrases:

1. This loss is irreplaceable for all of us. The loss of such support, reliable and so close, is always difficult to accept.
2. Please accept my sincere condolences. I knew your father (mother), he was a very good person. We will never forget him, his memory will be eternal.
3. There are no words to express my sorrow. This is terrible, and losing such a person is like losing a piece of your soul, your heart. Hang in there, we are with you.

It is especially difficult to find words of sympathy for a person who has lost his child - a son or daughter. What can you say other than “Be strong”? Maybe something like this:

This is a terrible shock for us. I can't believe he/she left so early. It was so early for him to leave this world, but time does not spare anyone. If there is heaven in the world, then let him go there. He deserves better.

Advice. Common phrases exist so that you can compose your monologue, short but meaningful in meaning. These are, first of all, templates that are designed to help those who find it difficult to express their thoughts on this matter.

Condolences on the death of husband, father

Any tragically cut short life causes pain and bitterness in the hearts of people. When expressing grief to people who have lost their husband or father, you must understand who this person was to his family:

1. It is very difficult to accept such a loss, my husband is an unbreakable support, the head, and it so happened that he is no longer with us all. Patience, my dears, strength. We offer our condolences.
2. Please accept our deepest condolences and help, symbolic, but still. Such a terrible tragedy has come to your home, may God give you strength and peace to your home.
3. Eternal memory to him... What a man, what a personality. He was truly amazing and sincere, may he rest in peace, we will miss him very much.

Well, let’s say these are roughly the words of grief spoken to loved ones in need of support.

Remember, these are just general examples of how to speak at funerals and on days of mourning. Along with such phrases, as a rule, you should offer an envelope with cash. Let this help be even a symbolic drop in the sea, but the sea consists of drops like these.

Don’t be afraid to hug a person, offer a scarf, or bring carnations to the altar of the deceased. Every step of an attempt to get closer and help a person will echo in him an echo of kindness and warmth. The grieving person needs support more than any words, no matter how harmonious and beautiful they may be.

Mourning clothes

When entering a house where mourning is taking place, according to the rules of etiquette, men are supposed to take off their hats; this rule does not apply to women. Also take care of your appearance. Discreet, without rhinestones, crystals or bright prints, floor-length black dresses are perfect for such an evening.

An open neckline and bright makeup are not allowed, and men are supposed to dress in formal suits; dull sweaters and shirts are allowed.

Advice. Sometimes a person's appearance speaks more than their words. Vulgar appearance is not allowed for girls or adult ladies. Be modest, decent, speak in a calm, quiet voice, and keep banal valerian tablets in your purse.

A funeral or death anniversary can be calm and civilized, or extremely emotional.

What not to say on a day of mourning

If we make a top list of the most stupid and inappropriate phrases regarding a death or death anniversary, then the honorable first place will be taken by an expression like: “How are you?” Do you agree?

Second place will be given to the remark: “This was to be expected” or “It was predetermined by fate.”

Stupid phrases like “That’s life” and “We’ll all be there.” Hearing this is not the most pleasant thing for a person in mourning. And to say something like that should be enough courage and shamelessness, but there are such amazing people.

Do not show excessive concern for a person who is in a mourning mood. Let him be with his thoughts, cry, say goodbye to the deceased and just come to his senses.

Expressing words of sorrow in a letter

In the age of high industry, you don’t have to empty your wallet for a carrier pigeon. It is enough to write an SMS or a letter: short, but conveying the meaning of your words.

If you can't appear in person, please write a message

This way you will remind them of yourself, show how you care and sympathize. Even a small SMS message will be a good message and good support.

In such a message it is necessary to fit briefly very meaningful phrases. For example:

Please accept my condolences, this is a great tragedy. I am with you in thought, hugging, kissing.

Messages of this kind can be sent to a friend, a colleague, a mother, or a grandfather.

But if you decide to write an entire memoir about your grief, then prepare pen and ink; the speech should uncompromisingly express your experiences.

An example text of a letter may contain the following expressions:

When I found out what happened, I couldn’t hold back my tears. There are no words to express the pain of loss. I am sincerely sorry that such a long distance separates us, and I cannot support you personally, just hug you at such a difficult moment in life. I hope that your closest people are with you now and they are supporting you.

If you enclose a couple of banknotes, I think this letter will further express your sincere feelings and show that you support the person dear to you with all your might.

How Orthodox Christians Express Condolences

Orthodoxy believes in an afterlife - where both hell and heaven exist. Every person, professing Orthodoxy, hopes to go to heaven to the Lord God himself, therefore, if you express words of sorrow and condolences to an Orthodox person, the following expressions would be quite appropriate:

• May he rest in peace;
• May God grant you patience and all the best;
• The Lord is generous and merciful, may He forgive our sins;
• sleep well, may God rest his soul.

Be punctual, behave naturally and politely. A sign of support and good attitude is your attention. In this way, you show your reluctance to remain on the sidelines when grief occurs to your loved ones.

I hope this article was helpful to you. Do not write long obituaries - speak sincerely and from the heart. Share this parting word with your friends and loved ones on social networks. Subscribe to our blog updates. All the best!

We intuitively and subconsciously understand how to behave in joyful, easy life situations and festive events. But there are events of a tragic nature - the death of a loved one, for example. Many are lost, faced with their unpreparedness for loss; for most, such events are beyond acceptance and awareness.

People experiencing loss are easily vulnerable, acutely aware of insincerity and pretense, their feelings are overwhelmed with pain, they need help to relieve it, accept it, come to terms with it, but in no case add to the pain with an accidentally thrown tactless word or incorrect phrase.

You need to be able to show increased tact and correctness, sensitivity and condescension. It is better to remain silent, showing delicate understanding, than to cause additional pain, hurt disturbed feelings, or touch nerves overloaded with emotions.

We will try to help you understand how to behave in a situation where the person next to you has suffered grief - the loss of a loved one, how to properly sympathize and choose the right words so that the person feels your support and sincere sympathy.

It is necessary to take into account the existing differences in condolences.

The form of expressing condolences for the loss will vary:

• Grandparents, relatives;
• mother or father;
• brother or sister;
• son or daughter - child;
• husband or wife;
• boyfriend or girlfriend;
• colleagues, employee.

Because the depth of experience varies.

Also, the expression of condolences depends on the severity of the grieving person’s feelings about what happened:

• Imminent death due to old age;
• imminent death due to serious illness;
• premature, sudden death;
• tragic death, accident.

The condolence itself should be short in form, but deep in content. Therefore, you need to find the most sincere words that accurately convey the depth of your sympathy and your willingness to provide support.

In this article we will provide samples and examples of various forms of expressing condolences and help you choose mournful words.
You will need: sincerity;

patience; attention to the person;

sympathy;

Tip 1

1. Form and method of presentation
2. Condolences will have distinctive features in form and method of presentation, depending on their purpose.
3. Purpose:
4. Personal individual condolences to family and friends.
5. Official individual or collective.

Obituary in the newspaper.

Farewell mourning words at the funeral.

Funeral words at the wake: for 9 days, on the anniversary.

Serving method:

The timeliness factor is important, so the postal delivery method should only be used to send a telegram. Of course, the fastest way to offer your condolences is to use modern communication tools: email, Skype, Viber..., but they are suitable for confident Internet users, and these should be not only senders, but also recipients.

• Using SMS to show sympathy and empathy is only acceptable if there are no other opportunities for contact with a person, or if the status of your relationship is distant acquaintance or formal friendly relations.
• Submission form:
• In writing:
• obituary - a mourning note in a newspaper.

In oral form:

• In a telephone conversation;
• in person.

Important points

All verbal condolences should be short in form.

• It is more delicate to express official condolences in writing. For this, a heartfelt verse is more suitable, to which you can choose a photo of the deceased, corresponding electronic pictures and postcards.
• Personal individual condolences must be exclusive and can be expressed either verbally or in writing.
• For the dearest and closest people, it is important to express or write sorrowful condolences in your own sincere words, not formal, which means not stereotyped.
• Since poems are rarely exclusive, exclusively yours, so listen to your heart, and it will tell you words of consolation and support.
• Not only words of condolences should be sincere, but also an offer of any help that is within your power: financial, organizational.

Be sure to mention the distinctive personal virtues and character traits of the deceased person that you would like to preserve in memory forever as an example: wisdom, kindness, responsiveness, optimism, love of life, hard work, honesty...

This will be the individual part of the condolence, the main part of which can be formulated according to the approximate model proposed in our article.
Tip 3

Universal mournful texts

1. “May the earth rest in peace” is a traditional ritual phrase that is said after a burial has taken place; it can be used as a condolence at a funeral service; it is suitable even for atheists.
2. “We all mourn your irreparable loss.”
3. “The pain of loss cannot be expressed in words.”
4. “I sincerely condole and sympathize with your grief.”
5. “Please accept my deepest condolences on the death of a dear person.”
6. “We will keep in our hearts the bright memory of the deceased wonderful man.”

Help can be offered in the following words:

• “We are ready to share the severity of your grief, be by your side and provide the necessary assistance to you and your family.”
• “Surely, you will need to resolve many issues. You can count on us, accept our help."

On the death of mother, grandmother

1. “The death of the closest person - mother - is an irreparable grief.”
2. “The bright memory of her will forever be in our hearts.”
3. “How much we didn’t have time to tell her during her lifetime!”
4. “We sincerely mourn and sympathize with you in this bitter moment.”
5. “Hold on! In memory of her. She wouldn't want to see you in despair."

Tip 5

On the death of a husband, father, grandfather

• “I offer my sincere condolences and express my deep sympathy in connection with the death of a loved one who was a reliable support for you and your family.”
• “In memory of this strong man, you must show fortitude and wisdom to survive this grief and continue what he did not finish.”
• “We will carry the bright and kind memory of him throughout our lives.”

Tip 6

On the death of a sister, brother, friend, loved one

1. “It is painful to realize the loss of a loved one, but it is even more difficult to come to terms with the departure of young people who have not known life. Everlasting memory!"
2. “Allow me to express my most sincere condolences on the occasion of this severe, irreparable loss!”
3. “Now you will have to become a support for your parents! Remember this and hang in there!”
4. “God help you survive and endure the pain of this loss!”
5. “For the sake of your children, their peace and well-being, you need to cope with this grief, find the strength to live and learn to look into the future.”
6. “Death does not take away love, your love is immortal!”
7. “Happy memory to a wonderful man!”
8. “He will forever remain in our hearts!”

To the death of a believer

The text of condolences may contain the same mournful words as for a secular person, but an Orthodox Christian should add:

• Ritual phrase:

“The Kingdom of Heaven and Eternal Peace!”
"God is merciful!"

• Prayer phrase:

“O Lord, rest his soul, forgive all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant the Kingdom of Heaven!”

Conclusion

Conclusion

“The life of the dead continues in the memory of the living” - these words belong to the ancient sage Cicero. And while we are alive, our departed loved ones live in our hearts!

Conveying condolences for a loss sincerely and tactfully is always difficult. Especially if you have to do it in person. There are certain forms of etiquette that will make communication go smoothly, despite the tragedy of the moment. We hope our advice will help you to hold yourself with dignity and show your best sides.

Examples of words of condolences

To find the right expressions, you need to gather your thoughts and look inside yourself.

Don't try to hide behind dry clichés, but don't be too emotional either. Never use swear words in speech.

How formal your appeal will be depends on the specific case, but it is imperative to end it with a question about how you could help.

In both written and oral form, you can use the following text as an example:

• “A wonderful man has passed away. I send my condolences to you and your entire family at this sad and difficult moment”;
• “I mourn your loss. I know this is a hard blow for you";
• “I was told that your brother died. I am very sorry and I send you my condolences";
• “I want to express my deep regret at the death of your father. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know."

When is it customary to express condolences?

Time, like words, is also of great importance. You should be tactful towards the loved ones of the deceased.

Typically, those who want to express sadness over someone's death are concerned about two things: will I disturb the mourners and is it too late (or early) to apply?

The first point is psychological. It happens that you have no experience in such conversations, or you are afraid to enter a house that has recently been visited by death, or during the life of the deceased you did not get along with his family... Most often, people simply torment themselves, feeling that they are obliged to come or call, but are afraid to see someone else’s grief and do not know how to behave in such a situation.

The second point relates to moral behavior. Is it possible to call the family of the deceased as soon as you have learned the dark news? Is it worth waiting for the funeral to support his relatives there? And if you were not invited to the funeral or commemoration, then when should you show up with condolences? Will it be too late in a week?

No matter how difficult and scary it may be for you, you should show up or call when you feel that it is expected of you. For example, a friend, relative, or neighbor needs consolation. Also, if you know that your presence or a few kind words over the phone will encourage the person, you should do so on a “if not me, then who” basis.

You may not be best friends, you may not have been in this family for a long time, but sometimes support is needed from strangers, especially if the grieving person is lonely and unprotected. These could be pensioners, widows, orphans, young mothers with a baby, or simply closed people who find it difficult to count on help.

Don't get overly embarrassed. Even if you are received distantly or asked to be shorter and leave, then at least your behavior will be correct.

Still, most mourners need and expect visitors and calls. If you are close to them, call as soon as you find out about the grief. If not very close, it would be more formal to come or call in the first three days after the funeral.

After a maximum of a week, it is customary to offer condolences from employees at work, and if you contact them even later, prepare a short excuse (they didn’t know, they were in another country, etc.).

What not to say

Well-worn phrases, which can be used to get away with it if a friend is just having another problem, are absolutely not suitable during the period of mourning for the deceased.

To avoid hurting a person experiencing a loss, you should avoid common mistakes:

1. Do not call “Don’t cry”, “Calm down”, “Stop grieving”. A person should not feel guilty for his grief. Otherwise, he will simply think that you did not appreciate his grief and do not want to see him in tears and sadness.
2. Do not console with words like “Think about yourself”, “ You haven't died yet", "You'll find someone else", " Do you still have children?" Such phrases also devalue the loss, taking away the right to mourn the deceased. Think about the fact that even if a widow ever manages to marry again, now is not the time when she needs to think about the possibility of replacing her deceased spouse. Even if he wasn't exemplary, it doesn't matter.
3. Do not judge the deceased with supposed consolations like “ He shouldn’t have drunk/smoked/had surgery», « We felt this would end badly», « Workaholics burn out quickly" or " Drug addicts always have a sad ending" The reaction to your words will be just anger, because death erases all the mistakes of the deceased. Death may be a consequence of his addictions, but this is always too heavy a reckoning, which is what hurts the relatives of the deceased now. They have no time for your consolations and condemnations.
4. You shouldn’t lie that you know what it’s like for someone grieving right now. Even if you have suffered a loss at one time, it is right to talk about it with those who have already gone through all the stages of grief. With these words you can try to get closer to a stranger in order to instill more trust, saying that you are united by a common grief. But immediately after the funeral you cannot talk about your similar grief - for the mourner this is an unlived experience, and such consolations only irritate.
5. Phrase " There are those for whom it is even harder now"is simply deadly for orphans, widowers and widows, for those who have lost a friend or brother. A common reaction to this is: “ I am none the better for it!" - absolutely fair. Save this phrase for those who whine about problems, so to speak, not knowing life. This is inappropriate after a funeral.

Finally, even if you don't know how to properly express your condolences in words, you can do it from the heart - simply with your silent presence. When trouble comes to the house, we need each other even without words. Do not leave your loved ones and acquaintances alone with your grief!