What should a girl do if her boyfriend dumped her: how to survive a breakup. I left my boyfriend, now I regret it I left my boyfriend, I feel bad

A woman's heart is fickle. Sometimes what gives rise to delight in him, after some time can cause irritation and hostility. And sometimes it's the other way around. For example, most women at least once in their lives have experienced longing for their former partners/lovers, missed them, and some wondered if it was possible to get everything back? Indeed, why not return the former relationship if it turned out that they were really happy, and the breakup that the girl agreed to, succumbing to temptation, on the contrary, was a big mistake. But is this possible, and if so, how?

Important circumstances

Of course, nothing is theoretically impossible. A girl can return a guy whom she once had to leave if she shows persistence, ingenuity and patience. However, in each situation the degree of probability of a positive outcome is different. A number of factors are important here, for example:

• What caused the separation. The guy cheated, offended or just got tired of me. Another young man met, to whom the girl felt an irresistible attraction. Perhaps the reason was other circumstances or third parties.
• What form did the separation take?. It was a calm conversation, a promise to “remain friends,” a strong quarrel with mutual insults, etc. Or maybe the girl simply silently disappeared from his life, without deigning him to say a word.
• How long has it been since the breakup?. Whether it was a week ago, or several years have passed since then. Are the feelings that connected the couple together still fresh in memory, or do the relationships already seem like a “ghostly past?”
• Did third parties manage to intervene?. In other words, since the breakup, has the guy got another girlfriend, or, conversely, has the girl got a new boyfriend? Perhaps some of them are currently in a relationship.
• Are there any signs that a guy still cares? to this girl, because, after all, the breakup was not his initiative. Perhaps he is quietly interested in her life, speaks of her with tenderness, and tries to catch her eye once again.

Of course, much will depend on the listed circumstances, as well as on many other nuances, individual for each situation. What is important, for example, is the character of the guy, the determination of the girl, the characteristics of their former relationship (duration, strong passion, many romantic moments, frequent disagreements, complete trust or, conversely, loss of it, etc.).

If the reason for the separation was some unpleasant events, for example, the betrayal of a young man, incessant quarrels, the intolerable character of one (or both) partners, then restoring the relationship will be very difficult, and most importantly, most likely, an inappropriate action. This process will also be complicated by the abrupt form in which this separation may have taken place. Often such moments are accompanied by rude, offensive words, quarrels and scandals occur.

After such breakups, people often remember the scandal itself, and not the happy moments of mutual joy that preceded it. Therefore, when breaking off relations with your partner, you need to behave as decently as possible. Firstly, maintaining your self-esteem always benefits your image, and secondly, you never know how life will turn out. Suddenly, after some time, there will be a strong desire to return this person.

What can you do

First of all, it is necessary to immediately emphasize that in such a situation you can count on one useful quality that is characteristic not only of women, but also of men. We are talking about a tendency towards nostalgia. The vast majority of people remember with pleasure the pleasant moments of their past, miss the places where they lived, the people with whom they communicated, and the lovers with whom they had a good time. People also usually respond favorably to praise and flattery. And those who claim that they are indifferent to praise addressed to them or even do not like them, either mean rude, insincere flattery, or are simply disingenuous.

To win back your ex-boyfriend, you need to take advantage of all his weak points, which are best known to the girl, especially the one who was in a relationship with him. It's best to meet in person. Asking him to come, setting up a “random” meeting, or coming yourself depends on the situation and the character traits of both.

Prepare for the meeting, dress the way he liked before; if there is a specific thing that reminds you of a happy moment, you can use it. Get yourself in order as carefully as possible, but without fanaticism, so that it doesn’t look like you’re going to the main event in your life. The facial expression should be such that epithets like “sweet”, “calm”, “sincere”, “kind”, “in love”, “tender” would suit him. And do not forget to express remorse at the right moments - after all, you made a mistake by abandoning “such a wonderful young man.”

During the conversation, you should not touch on obviously far-fetched topics. It is better to resort to simple formulations that will not conflict with your “sincere expression.” You can say directly: “To be honest, I really miss you. I wanted to talk to you so much that I couldn’t resist.” At the right moment, you need to focus on your mistake: “Now I’m so sorry that I lost you. You are the best thing I ever had.” At the same time, avoid the phrases “I left you”, “I left you”, etc. - this is extremely difficult for men to perceive. It would be better to say “lost.”

Don’t be confused, and especially don’t get excited if the guy isn’t too affectionate at first. Phrases like “Do you remember how rude you were to me?” or “Aha, now I’ve come to my senses!”, or “That’s it, now you see your mistake?” should be accepted with a sweet smile and answered, for example, like this: “Well, you can forgive me for one mistake” or: “Give me the opportunity to prove that I understood everything.” Even if he refuses you at the moment or decides to “increase his worth”, do not give up and do not be offended - time will put everything in its place.

When you are abandoned, it is always very unpleasant. Especially when the decision to leave is made by a loved one. Pain, despair, tears, mental anguish - words cannot describe such a state. There is a strong desire to turn back time, to wake up from a bad dream. Here's how abandoned girls feel:

“My boyfriend left me, help! I haven’t eaten or slept for 3 days now, I check messages all the time, waiting for his call that he has changed his mind. I think I'm dying"

Why did this happen to me?

This is the question you need to ask yourself first. Not “how could he”, “why”, but precisely “why did this happen”. In any situation, two people are always to blame, even if not in equal shares.

If a guy finds someone else, it means that he was not truly happy and experienced a lack of affection, love, attention, understanding, or other things. A guy going nowhere can be provoked by frequent swearing and cooling of feelings.

Or perhaps your guilt is much more serious, you cheated on your boyfriend or cheated on a big scale. In any case, the sooner it becomes clear where the mistake was made, the sooner it can be corrected. Or leave “broken” relationships in the past.

Is there anything that can be done?

The next step is an objective assessment of the reason for the separation. At the peak of emotions, this may be difficult, so you need to either calm down or involve your mother, sister or friends in resolving the issue. If your relationship has deteriorated due to minor conflicts or grievances, or you have done something seriously wrong, the situation is completely fixable. Try to talk to your loved one and make amends. Come to a meeting in a beautiful dress, with makeup, hairstyle, and invite them to talk in a quiet cafe. Be as you were when you first met, speak sincerely and from the heart.

A guy cannot be returned only in two cases: he never loved you, or he met someone else and wants to marry her. At this point, whether you like it or not, you will have to retreat. The main thing is to remember that this is not the end of the world, the wounds will heal, and after time your soul will feel better.

How to live further?

If you have come to the understanding that all attempts to return your loved one are in vain, or you yourself no longer want to restore the relationship, but the pain is tearing you to pieces, the following tips are for you. How to close this heartbreaking chapter of your life gracefully:

Most likely, if you broke up recently, you feel so bad that this instruction seems like a joke. However, it is really effective. Just stop feeling sorry for yourself, dry your tears, start changing your life. Suffering cannot last forever (even mental suffering), unless you are addicted to reveling in it and constantly reopening the wounds of the past.

Due to her emotionality, a girl can be very painful with a guy. Depression and nervous states often develop, which are replaced by complete apathy. The 1st, 7th and 14th days after the rupture are especially difficult. To somehow alleviate the experience, you can resort to the help of sedative herbs, or ask a close friend for support. If you want to cry, you shouldn’t embarrass yourself. Tears help achieve relief. Speak up, complain. It's quite normal.

What not to do if your boyfriend dumps you:

If you have thoughts of suicide, it is recommended to visit a psychologist or psychotherapist. The first will help you understand the situation and find peace in your soul, and the second will prescribe the necessary treatment to physically feel comfortable, eat well, sleep, and think positively.

As for psychological advice on how to get a guy to come back, it is clear - change yourself. It is impossible to force another person to be with you if he does not want to. You can change the situation only by becoming completely different, happy, self-sufficient, alluring. Reconciliation cannot happen because of pity. Such relationships have no prospects.

Love and magic

It is customary to rely on magic where no other method has helped. And in general, it’s impossible to bring back a man who has burned all his bridges, doesn’t want to communicate, or has moved far, far away. The advantage of the magical option is convenience, mystery and power of influence. Special rituals and conspiracies help influence the energy of your loved one, evoke a subconscious desire to see you again, or, conversely, make you suffer.

Bring back love

The most popular, and at the same time simple and accessible magical ritual that can rekindle a guy’s feelings. You will need: a large onion, a lot of toothpicks or pins, a low pot of soil. Stay alone and in complete silence, concentrate on the image of the guy, remember his smell, taste, body warmth. Take the onion in your hands and imagine his head and face. Think about what idea you want to inspire in him. Pierce the bow with a pin and say:

“As easily as a pin pierces a bow, so let (the guy’s name) rise with the same ease of passion and love for me. He will think about me during the day, at night, until he confesses his love and repents of leaving. Amen"

Take a new pin and plant the following thought in your loved one’s head. Continue the ritual until you run out of ideas. Leave the bulb on the windowsill. Within 3 days you can add to what has been said. On the 4th day the bulb needs to be planted. As soon as green feathers appear, the beloved will return.

Punish

If a guy not only abandoned you, but insulted and humiliated, betrayed, and you want to restore justice, this method is for you. He will suffer until he apologizes. It is advisable to pronounce the spell at the offender’s back, but you can also say it at a photograph, bending your lips towards it:

“Go, arrow, with pain, tears,

Through untrodden paths, through blood, not in the eye and not in the eyebrow,

And straight to the heart. Pinch and stab, hit and pull.

Punish him, destroy him, my offender (name). Key, lock, Amen."

Be careful with magic. If your thoughts are not pure and you cause damage for selfish purposes, punish the innocent, then everything will turn against you.

Forget

If you don’t want to get your boyfriend back, but you just need to get rid of painful feelings and thoughts and fall out of love, the following plot will help. Print out one of the guy's last photos, where he is alone and looking into the frame. Turn it upside down and place it in front of you. Place a piece of black bread, broken off by hand, next to it. Touch your chest and say:

“Servant of God (his name), stand as you stand. Bread, lie as you lie.

I will remember you not with love, but with cold blood. How did I, the servant of God (my name), forget

The first steps that I walked as a child, The first tooth that grew,

So from now on and forever, I will forget about this man, the Servant of God (the guy’s name). Amen"

After the ritual, feed the bread to the birds. If necessary, repeat the spell for 7 days at the same time.

Getting over a breakup is not as difficult as it seems at first glance. All you need is to curb your emotions. Suffering begins with a thought. Try to control them. It is possible that you will get back together soon. Think about how to prevent your guy from leaving you again. Try to take into account and correct the mistakes made.

Anya, Berezniki

Unfortunately, people break up quite often. There are a great many reasons for this: betrayal, fatigue, quarrels, coldness in relationships, and as some like to say "did not get along". It would seem that when you break up with a guy, there can be no doubt about the correctness of your decision. It may seem to you that you have fallen out of love, fallen in love with someone else, or simply want a new life.

But what if after a while you realize that you want to return him, that he “the one”, “the one for life”. There is no point in comparing tactics for bringing back a guy who left on his own with our situation. They are different. Each case is individual. It all depends on the reason why you broke up? But there are general rules that you should follow to get your guy back if you dumped him yourself.

“Come back to me, my love!”

Still, there is some similarity with the tactics of getting a guy back if he dumped you. Prayers, requests, pity and pressure will not help either here or here. It is a mistake to believe that in phrases: “Come back to me, I can’t live without you” And “If you don’t come back, I’ll do something to myself.” you will fix the situation. This will only push him away, no matter how much the guy loves you.

This rule also applies if you have changed. Compassionate phrases like “this won’t happen again, I beg you, forgive me” will not help matters. Let's better pull ourselves together and start taking action.

"The wind of change"

As we have already agreed, the usual “I’m sorry”, as well as “I won’t do this again, I love you” are unconvincing. In this case, drastic changes are needed. It’s important to work hard on your attitude towards life, your boyfriend and yourself in general. Change your appearance, go to the hairdresser, start learning something new. You must discard as much as possible all the negativity from the past. If, for example, your aggressiveness led to the separation, then you should change your character, learn to be calmer and more restrained. The guy will not return to you to experience your anger and temper once again.

"Time cures"

Parting with a loved one, one way or another, leaves traces. Your boyfriend has an unpleasant aftertaste in his soul, anger, maybe sadness. Even if he is still madly in love with you, it takes time and a considerable amount of effort in order to return the person.

Having changed yourself externally and internally, write a letter to your loved one. Tell him that you have changed a lot lately. Your breakup changed a lot in your life and made you think and change. Thank the guy, it was a good lesson for you. Do not touch on the topic of relationships and their possible further rehabilitation. Give the young man time to think.

"Help from a Friend"

In such a situation, you can ask your mutual friend for help. Let him or her tell your boyfriend how much you have changed. You just need to do this carefully and unobtrusively, “as the conversation progresses.” You can start like this: “You know, they recently told me about Tanya, it turns out that a lot has changed in her...”. And then you can come up with a story that would clearly show what has changed in you.

Let’s say you helped a person, but before you were selfish, or you reacted calmly to an argument, but before you would have smashed everyone who contradicted you. The examples are, of course, conditional. It all depends on the reason for the breakup and your behavior. If this doesn’t help, and the guy won’t meet you, you can throw a party or run into him by chance, for example in a store.

Where does he often go? Where does he go? Try it "accidentally" meet him in those places. The main thing is that it doesn't look like “I’m waiting for you at the entrance”. Again, enlist the help of a friend, organize a joint party where both of you will be invited. In a relaxed atmosphere, it will be easier for you to start communicating. The main thing is, don’t put pressure on the guy, don’t always raise the question of starting to date again. First of all, you need to show him that you have become different and the problems that led to the separation no longer exist and will not exist. Then the man himself will reach out to you and look for a meeting.

Situations are different. You could leave a guy, and he, to spite you, started dating someone else. In this case, returning it will be a little more difficult. Or he no longer wants a relationship after breaking up, being angry and offended by you. Do not panic and despair, reproaching yourself for a rash step. Everything in this life can be fixed, the main thing is to know how!? I suggest you pay attention to our advice: and.

Some time after parting with a person, you suddenly realize that it was much better with him than without him, you begin to appreciate those advantages that you did not notice or did not want to notice when you were together. Common situation? Well, I’ll try to help you, dear girls. In an article about how to get back a guy you left behind, I’ll give you not only a couple of ways to get your boyfriend back, but I’ll also tell you how not to lose him again, so as not to then contact visitors to various sites and forums with requests like this : I left my boyfriend - I want him back.

Method one

In order to get your boyfriend back, you will need very little: convince him that you are very sorry for your mistake. Of course, his reaction will be significantly influenced by the characteristics of his character, however, as a rule, after sincere repentance and, possibly, tears (also sincere), the guy who loves you will return to you. Here you need to overcome your pride and openly tell the guy that you made a mistake and want to fix everything. In any case, you have nothing to lose, since a young man who really loves you will easily (or not so much) forgive you for this, and if he is too proud or vindictive, think about it - is this really what you need? Love and pride don’t always go hand in hand, and if you don’t sacrifice something for each other, is it worth building a relationship at all? Now, pay attention! Don't do this twice, because the second time, no matter how sincere your words and tears are, the guy may not forgive you. And he will have much more compelling reasons for this, since if the first time it could be attributed to an accidental mistake, then the second time I seriously doubt it. How to get back the guy you left for the second time? Honestly, this is almost impossible, unless he has a very calm character.

Method two

It happens that it is quite difficult to admit your mistake in person or over the phone, although such an admission would be ideal and would not hurt your pride at all. However, there is a way out of this situation. You probably have some mutual friends and email. Ask a friend to hint to the young man that you are very worried about breaking up with him and then write him an email or “casually” send a message on Skype, ICQ or VKontakte. In the end, the method is not important and the guy must understand that you have repented and that you are very ashamed of what happened. And how he reacts to this will tell you a lot. A loving person will always forgive a single mistake (even such a serious one), although perhaps not immediately. In this case, you can write to him again or even call him. If the guy remains adamant and leaves your confessions unanswered and does not answer calls for weeks, think about it - do you need it? In the end, you didn’t cheat on him, and everyone has the right to make a mistake, and this reaction on his part is completely inconsistent with the severity of your offense. Here the question already arises - did you love? In this case, I advise you to meet in person and talk with him to find out everything once and for all. By the way, it is quite possible that your young man has a new passion. In this case, you should not judge strictly - after all, it was not he who abandoned you, and he has every right to start building a new relationship. In any case, be sure to see each other and talk; everything can still be corrected with sincere confession without reproaches or offense. I think you will succeed.