Psychology. The age difference between a man and a woman. Relationship psychology in unequal marriage He is 10 years older than her

In life, you can see couples whose age is similar, but there are those when age difference one of the partners is significantly different. On this occasion, you can hear a different number of opinions. Someone does not approve of a union built by a couple if a man is more than 2-3 years older than a woman. Then the human opinion reproaches the woman that she is motivated not by love, but by completely different motives (thirst for profit, the high position of a man, etc.).

Of course, you can also find such couples where pragmatism (because of the benefits and benefits for oneself), not feelings. But there is a category of women who deliberately choose their partners. And this is not an indicator of calculation, but an interest in another generation and the value of certain human qualities. But, in order for a large age difference to take into account certain subtleties.

If we consider the marriages concluded in past centuries, then we can see the pattern when the difference in the age of the spouses was colossal (a very young girl and a fairly mature man, and sometimes a man suitable for grandfathers).

Pros and cons of a relationship when a man is 10 years older

Positive points if the man is older:

1. Protection. A woman has an instinct at the genetic level that suggests that a strong family needs a partner who can protect. And in the understanding of many women, only a man with a decent age difference can provide her with this. After all, if a man is 10 years older, then he is already an individual in his life, who has a sober assessment of everything that is happening around. And it is such a person who is able to establish a strong life and family.
2. Loyalty. For most women, this masculine trait is a priority, which is why they believe that the ideal age difference should be significant. Such husbands, as a rule, have tried a lot in their lives, made certain conclusions and matured for strong family ties without betrayal.
3. Understanding. It happens that a woman's opinion and her desires are very changeable. For example, in the morning a woman plans to go to the cinema, and when her husband gives her tickets for the desired screening session, she dramatically changes her mind and decides to go for a walk in the park. Husbands who are much older than their spouses are often tolerant of such mood swings and take everything with a smile, not a scandal.
4. Position in society. Most often, over the years, male status increases. This means that he is in higher positions, is able to lead with ease, and earns decent money.
5. Wisdom. With such a husband it is very easy to have conversations on any topic, he knows a lot and can suggest the right way out of any situation.
6. Children. It has been scientifically shown that the ideal age difference in order to give birth to an intelligent and developed child should be about 10 years. If the age difference exceeds the 10-year mark, and is 20 years, then in this case geniuses are often born.

What negative points can be noted when a man is 10 years older.

There are practically no such moments. Some nuances can be distinguished when the trace of the upbringing of another generation is superimposed on the character. But this is so insignificant that it is possible not to mention it.

What can be said about men why are they attracted to younger partners? As it turned out, this is not only about youth, body fit and freshness. Not a small role is played by the factor that with such women, a man feels more comfortable and confident. If a woman is much younger, then this is an excellent reason for male self-affirmation. Such a friend is more energetic, life-loving, who did not have time to be very disappointed in life and in men.

A union in which a woman is older

There are situations in life when a woman is the eldest of the partners. There is no need to initially give up on such a relationship. Indeed, over the years, a woman can effectively develop her style and charm, achieve great success in her career and become an interesting conversationalist. In addition, with high-quality appearance care (visiting gyms, beauty salons, etc.), the difference is that a woman older than a man will not be conspicuous. And such a woman can even give odds to the contemporaries of the chosen one in her sexuality and beauty. Young guys really appreciate how an older woman can present herself, reveal her femininity, without being embarrassed by emotions.

Women who have entered into relationships with guys younger than themselves tend to assert themselves in their own at their expense. And also such a relationship can seduce a woman by the fact that in a couple she will take a leading position. This situation is suitable for women who love power or overprotectiveness.

The ideal age difference between a man and a woman

But in order for such an alliance not to fail, you need to be able to make compromises. For example, a young girl likes noisy gatherings, festivities and clubs, while a man finds it boring and not interesting. As for creating a family and the desire to have children, it is likely that a spouse with a ten-year age difference has already had a bad experience behind him. Such a circumstance can impose a little difficulty on a new relationship, since important moments in life, such as a wedding and having children, may be greeted with little enthusiasm.

Relationships with a person much older than themselves are not suitable for everyone. Therefore, before building a serious relationship, you should think carefully about this and it is better more than once. For example, a man really wants to continue his family, but the woman is already out of childbearing age. And this situation will only lead to conflicts and misunderstandings. And sometimes the older partner already has children from past relationships, and he does not want to acquire new ones.

The most important aspect is the fact that in a pair you need to find as many points of contact as possible. This applies to life goals and interests. Then it will not matter at all what the age difference between the spouses is.

We consider it normal if the man in the pair is the same age or older than the woman. Even for 15-20 years. But when it comes to relationships where the woman is older, we violently condemn not only such relationships, we stigmatize the woman who enters into such a relationship. Moreover, it is women who show particular rage and intransigence: how is it that young girls do not have enough normal men, but here the "old women" step on their heels? Are they right or is it banal feminine envy and narrow-mindedness: should it be, as is customary !?

Accepted by whom, why and most importantly - when? Dear supporters of feudal relations, you should accept the fact that the world is changing and relations, as part of this world, also do not stand still. The most optimal model of the relationship between a man and a woman is always developed, proceeding from the conditions of our time. And this is not a "translation of the arrows", but real facts, from which one cannot turn away.

According to experts, the tendency to create relationships when a woman is older than a man is gaining momentum, and this is not only about famous couples from show business or cinema. According to statistics, every fifth man chooses a woman 10 years older, and every ninth man chooses a woman older than 15 years. And this is not a short-term romance, but a full-fledged relationship.

Psychologists and sociologists argue that in most cases this is not a tribute to fashion, but a real sign of our time. With a woman, everything seems to be clear, but why does a man need an older woman? How does she attract him? And why is the number of such pairs steadily increasing?

Mindfulness of choice

If we discard the prejudices of post-Soviet upbringing, it turns out that mature women have many advantages, thanks to which men choose them, and not their peers. Moreover, most men make this choice consciously, and not on the principle: choice without choice. Every normal man is pragmatic and evaluates everything according to the degree of rationality and optimality. And today we will not talk about infantile mama's sons or gigolos - no. It will be about men who have realized the clear advantages of being in a relationship with an older woman. True, some men do not understand these advantages immediately, but after a while, being in a relationship with a more mature woman. But these are already details. Let's get to the heart of the matter.

Analysis of the facts

I am sure that one of the main advantages of an older woman is her sexual liberation. Grown women are the best lovers; they, as a rule, are not ashamed of their desires, tk. they know how to fully concentrate on their feelings, they know how to give both themselves and their man real pleasure. A mature woman gives herself up to the process entirely, not caring about what is possible and what is not.

What else is attractive about an older woman?

An adult woman attracts a man with her independence. You don't need to babysit and entertain with her. She will not roll the stage if the man does not call for some reason "for a whole" hour. And this is not only a real saving of time and effort for a man, with almost identical results in the end. And often more interesting. What am I talking about?

It is much more interesting to spend time with an adult woman, communicate, discuss, debate on various topics from politics to joint weekends. Education, awareness, life experience - these traits attract many men.

An intelligent, independent mature woman will never restrict her man's freedom. After all, she has her own interesting, eventful life, she does not need to be entertained and amused all the time - this is a game with only one goal, and for a serious relationship, investments are needed from both sides. Therefore, it is more comfortable for a man to be in a relationship with an accomplished woman. And although a woman's appearance is very important for men, for a considerable number of men, interest, independence and trust are more attractive than the elastic muscles of the buttocks or chest.

Why does a man need an older woman? The emotionality of women and especially young girls is legendary. Girls often act out real dramas and make scandals, which is called "out of the blue." For example, if a man does not call the next day after a date, or looks after another girl. An adult independent woman will not be hysterical about this or throw up a scene of jealousy, she will be able to maintain her composure in any situation. Even really critical. Why? Yes, because she has considerable experience in responding to such situations. And then she knows how to distinguish the main from the secondary, so she will not unnecessarily ruffle the nerves of her beloved man. And unbalanced persons are not needed by anyone, a man wants to see an adequate woman nearby.

Grown women know the secrets of a couple's relationship, and many of them have learned to bypass the pitfalls. They understand where it is necessary to insist on their own opinion, and where it is worth giving in, which cannot be said about young inexperienced women. Adult women have more experience in serious relationships, so it's easy for them to find a solution that works for both. In addition, they have significantly fewer illusions about a man, so it is not particularly difficult for them to put up with some of his features of his character or habits. An adequate adult woman has no reason to compete or fight with a man, she clearly understands how important it is to live with a person who is sensitive to your desires and mood.

Another important factor. A girl often does not appreciate a man, taking his care, attention and help for granted. In addition, she likes to attract the attention of other men around her. She flirts with them not only to boost her self-esteem, but often to make her man jealous in order to manipulate him. An adequate loving woman will first of all think about the feelings of a man, about his ability to trust her, because it was not in vain that he chose her. It is very important for absolutely every man to know that he is the best and the woman is faithful to him. Loyalty is the basis of trust and it is this quality that underlies any happy relationship.

A mature woman, according to female psychology in relationships, understands herself and her needs well. Therefore, in a relationship with a man, she will not play cat and mouse, but will immediately clearly show that she needs him. Knowing and understanding herself, and also well distinguishing true values ​​from imaginary ones, an adult woman truly appreciates the time spent with her beloved, and knows how to be grateful to a man, which distinguishes her favorably from a younger woman. Men really appreciate it.

What else gives a man an union with a more mature woman? Every smart man is looking for development opportunities. Not every independent adult woman is the owner of a large business with an influential environment, but she has already achieved something in life, has taken place as a person, has considerable experience, she is pragmatic and active. A smart man will not miss such a chance for his own development. After all, passion after the first weakens, and deep understanding, resonance, intimacy, trust and experience remains and becomes an elevator that lifts both partners up.

Yes, it is worth admitting that not only normal adequate men are drawn to mature women, but also over-aged infantiles who are stuck in childhood, gigolos of all stripes and simply insecure personalities. But what can such a man offer to an adult, independent, intelligent woman? Therefore, he is unlikely to stay long next to her.

Favorite topic - age difference between men and women

First of all, it is a question of accepting your age and yourself. It is not so important what others say about you, as what you think about it yourself. To be able to accept your age means to find beauty, joy, interest, depth, clarity, advantages in it. It is not easy, but also not impossible for a person with intelligence.

Living with a man younger than yourself means not only trying to be in good physical shape, taking care of yourself, paying special attention to your appearance and emotions. First of all, it means being able and able to maintain his rhythm of life, and in all senses: physical movement, mental process, development as a person, etc. This is, first of all, her ease of recovery, energy, desire for change.

What you definitely shouldn't do

You should not turn into a “mommy” for your beloved, who constantly educates him, just as you should not become his “daughter”, lisp with him, calling him by all means pet names. This is a sin of many women, and not only of Balzac's age, who have a relationship with a man much younger than themselves.

If you have chosen such a relationship, then you need a clear balance: not "mommy" and not "daughter", but an adult smart woman.

Second factor. Don't do something "in his name." This is a dead end with all that it implies - expectations, grievances, claims and other ballast crap.

And finally the third. Don't fixate on competitors. Always keep your eyes on yourself and compare yourself to yesterday's self. And do not forget that activity, energy, creativity, versatile interests and ease of recovery truly attract men at any age.

Love you and strong serious relationship!

More and more often there are couples where the woman is much older than the man.

Much - this is for 10-20 years.

Women after 40 very often write about the attention of young men to them, but they are skeptical about this attention. "It is clear, he is looking for his mother" or "does not want to invest, he wants everything to be given at once." That is, adult women often perceive themselves as a dubious object and see in the interest of young men a non-sexual motive, a desire to save energy and money. This is pretty disappointing. Both for women themselves and for young men who quite often fall in love with adult women.

However, sometimes a relationship begins. But they end quickly. And if they do not end, women most often quickly go into negative territory. And men fly out as a plus. With older men, this does not happen so quickly and not necessarily. What are the reasons?

The main and main reason that adult women quickly go to the disadvantage with young men is that women, even adults, have absolutely no skill to build relationships from a leadership role. Even on an equal footing it turns out with great difficulty (in Europe it is already better). Mostly women are used to building relationships from below. They are guarded and they are slaves. A little girl or not a little.

The girl needs a dad. Even if it is her husband, he should be a little father to her. And if a man is older than a woman and more status, the role of a father is quite organic for him. This does not mean that he completely subordinates the woman, he delegates a lot to her, but the main word is behind him, the main leadership is his, he exercises the main guardianship, economically and politically. It's not that a woman is a completely infantile fool and just slaps her eyes, they get rid of such women quickly, just a woman sees in a man someone stronger and smarter than herself. This is so traditional a picture for our latitudes so far that many women confuse the concepts of "older, more status man" and simply "man", by default they consider any man to be older and stronger than himself (intellectually, morally), even if he is younger and less so for now achieved.

This distorted view leads a woman to a disadvantage when a man is much younger. Pay attention, if a man is older and wealthier, and a woman looks at him from the bottom up, on the contrary, it evens out the balance. Those who think that all people always and in all situations should communicate on an equal footing, regardless of any differences, are smart as well as those who want to take away and divide everything from everyone.

Talking on an equal footing with someone who is much more experienced than you is like talking about poetry with a philologist or about history with a historian, demanding equality of opinion. If you try to speak on equal terms, the dialogue will not work out, and if you are aware of their great competence, you can have a useful conversation, and for both parties, since the specialist is also interested in a fresh, unclouded, non-trivial look, but only if the interlocutor realizes the difference and does not think that "my grandmother said" is equivalent to "Academician Losev believed", both are interesting, but integrate in different ways.

The same is true outside the professional sphere. If you are older, you have more experience in everyday life and in relationships, you have more material and social resources, your role in the politics and economics of a couple should be leading, the main one.

Roughly the same demotivation occurs in a couple, where a woman is much older than a man, but behaves with him as the same age or even much younger than him.

Interestingly, it doesn't start right away. At first, as long as a woman is not too in love, she behaves normally, according to her age and social status. She realizes that in front of her is a younger and less experienced creature, perhaps talented, charming and full of strength, but still less competent in everyday life and in the sphere of social relations. He remembers that behind her shoulders there are various age stages, she was both a student, and a specialist, and a boss, and a mother of a small child and a mother of a big one, had a long-term serious relationship, experienced breakups, divorces, losses, and he has the mentality of a young man. Even if a man has a crown and he is convinced that at 25 he is different from his peers, because he is much smarter, even if he is a sexist and thinks that women's experience is not like men's and a woman at 45 is still the same girl, he is still equally at the beginning of the relationship, he is aware that in front of him is a lady of his mother's age and reflects this. He does not feel equal, although he can strive for SZ equality, that is, he hopes to be important and significant for this woman.

Equality and SZ height is correct, it is balance. But if a woman paired with a young man does not take a leadership role, she loses balance and goes into a minus. More precisely, it can go into default. The main thing is that a man in such a pair always turns into a plus, because he ceases to respect such a woman, even if he does not confess to himself.

I already wrote that adult women often speak with their young partners in children's voices, they give them funny children's nicknames, like a frog, duckling or pig. The name of such women is certainly Anyutka, Katyushka, Marishka and Manyurka. That is, even in couples with peers, there is not so much cleverness in addressing women as in couples where a woman is 20 years older. When I tried to deal with this phenomenon and asked those women, all as one stated that their young men just really want to dominate, young men are so desperate to go upstairs, strive to look mature and serious and do not want to deprive them of such joy.

Grown women with boys turn into old girls, both externally and in essence, and with older men behave adequately to their age. This is understandable. With older men, even at their forty years old, they feel young compared to his fifty (if a man is not a lover of young girls, but is satisfied with a ten-year difference), and with a boy, they want to look younger than him, and if he is thirty, that's all. almost adult women claim that he looks forty, and she, at forty-five, thirty-five, that is, younger than him by as much as five years. Here's how many complex digital perturbations are going on in a woman's head, just to hide the difference. Paradox?

Initially, a young guy falls in love with an adult lady. He likes that she is older, he likes her look from above, her seriousness or philosophical irony, protection, not helplessness, he likes everything about her, including the wrinkles that make the face more mature, and the authoritative tone, everything that emphasizes their difference , he really likes it. Otherwise he would not have fallen in love. If he wanted to be the same age, he would be the same age and was looking for. If he wanted to dominate, he would be looking for an inexperienced young girl. Most young men, having gone into a plus, tell their women that they actually want someone the same age and that they fell in love with her quite by accident. Yes, from the plus it looks like that. It seems to them that it was by chance, and now they already want someone the same age, because they are disappointed in adult women who behave like fools or hysterics. But initially everything was different. He fell in love, of course, not by chance, it was much easier for him to have an affair with a woman of the same age, but he chose an older woman.

And then she began to hide their difference, deciding that they fell in love with her. despite age... This is the main reason for the inappropriate behavior of such women. They despise their peers. It seems to them that their peers are worse than young ones. They consider themselves exceptions (!), Thanks to the crown, of course. She is always an exception. Yes, she is forty-five, but she is 1) beautiful 2) sexy, therefore - an exception to the rule. And her peers - wallets, cannot be of interest to a young man, and she does not want to have anything to do with them. She stands out from their row (the key here is that she stands out from any row, always, the crown makes in any group, even in age, at least in sex, at least in professional, feel better than the same).

And an adult woman begins to prove to everyone around that she looks younger than her man. Talk to these women, they will almost always say that their boyfriend looks older than them, especially when he is already in the black. These women see themselves as exceptions, that's the problem. If they were ordinary, normal adult women, they would behave like that, they would not be ashamed of their age, they would not try to get out of the line of their peers, they would look adequate and everything would be fine. But they see the attention of a young man as food for their personal (!) Self-esteem, instead of realizing that he just likes her age group. But phew, this is so sad, the crown cannot be gilded with that.

Noticing that his woman wants to feel like a girly, the guy tries to give her such an opportunity. He begins to dominate and call her a pig, he wants to emphasize that for him she is a baby. Well, the more a baby she is, the more noticeable her gray hair and wrinkles, by the way. For her forty, she looks great, but for eighteen ... I see. That is, women, trying to level out age, emphasize it and highlight how those who want to hide a big nose under naive curls make their nose several times larger.

The main rule of harmony: Create an organic context for quality, don't hide it, don't overload it.

Accept the age-related misalliance and find the benefits in it, emphasize it and do not hesitate.

The organic context for adult appearance is adult behavior. No childish voices, short skirts, helpless waving of eyelashes, no "daddy loves his girl?" which adult ladies love to say to their young husbands. (I still remember one lady who was 60+ and she used just such words to address her young lover).

If you're not in the know, you probably won't believe that this is exactly what many older women say. Predators are especially indicative in this sense. After some time of relationship, an adult lady turns into a child with a predator. With her older husband she did not turn, but with a young predator - yes. The predator differs from just a young man in that, on average, people fall in love with him more strongly. And the older the woman in love, the more little girl she turns into. In non-predators, the same thing happens if the woman is much older and in love.

In general, I would like to say the following. If your man is younger (plus or minus 5 years is the same age), never forget about the difference and do not try to hide it, emphasize so as not to hide it imperceptibly for yourself, be proud of the difference, love your age, do not pretend to be a girl, but don't turn him into an old man. Otherwise, soon you will begin to have complexes and fall into negative territory.

And the young men wanted to say. Do not pretend to be daddies, please, do not call your adult women Manushki and rats, it is better to play up the real difference beautifully. You don't need to call your lady by name, patronymic and "you", though ... But don't make them at least little fools. They will begin to annoy you yourself when you convince them that you seriously consider them your little ones at their fifty-five years old.

Men who had relationships with women 10+ older? Women falling in love with guys much younger? How did the relationship develop?

You, too, can ask your question to a psychologist and get an answer. Write on [email protected] rp.mail.ru and do not forget to indicate the subject of the letter - "Question to the psychologist."

"Hello!

My name is Yuri. I am 29 years old. Last year I met a 38-year-old girl (that is, at present she will be 39). I like her. Looks very young, beyond her years, so to speak. She has a 16-year-old daughter, I have no children, never married.

Now everything is starting to turn into a serious relationship with her. But the opinion of my entourage (relatives and friends) is inclined to not stand with her "seriously": like for many years, she may not give birth (at least one child I want 100%), will quickly start to age after 40, there will be no strength to deal with the child and then after the decree to work at the same time, you will have a great burden ... I understand this in principle. Naturally, this is a little embarrassing, but I wanted to find a girl to my heart, to my liking. She likes it, although, of course, our interests are quite different.

Please tell me what to do? Is it worth talking and ending the relationship? Or go with the flow and gaze at the horizon in the hope that the storm will not overtake? "

Yuri, hello!

It seems to me that at your age you can afford to make independent decisions, although it is not always easy to withstand family pressure. Your family may be voicing your own fears that you yourself may not fully acknowledge. But more importantly, you found a woman with whom you feel good. And, perhaps, first of all, it is worth discussing your plans for the future with her. Does she want children from you in the future, does she want to build a long-term relationship with you? It is possible that she has her own picture of her own future, in which, for example, she does not consider you as a constant companion in life.

Unfortunately, in our country the stereotype is too strong that life after 40 ends, but does not begin. At the age of 40, many women have the strength not only to give birth to a child (if they want it), but also to bring up, and having a child is stress for the female body, regardless of age, therefore, at first, a woman needs support from loved ones, especially - from the child's father. And if this scares you, then perhaps you yourself are not ready for this step right now, and the point is not that your girlfriend will not be able to give birth after 40.

It seems to me that you should look into "yourself" and see what is happening inside you, what are your own doubts and fears. Disregard your family's fears and resolve this issue on your own.

As for interests, it is also not always a matter of age difference. Simply, no matter how trite it may sound, in principle, all people are different, so they may have different hobbies and hobbies. It is important that your worldview and views coincide on basic issues such as the desire to have children, finances, religious views, and anything that is important to both of you.

If your girlfriend is to your liking, why not continue the relationship by talking to her about your concerns? You say that you are now moving into a more serious relationship. What does this mean to you? Do you want to live together? Does she want the same thing? Once again, I repeat that it is important that you and she have a general idea of ​​your future, then it will be a little easier to cope with emerging difficulties, such as public opinion or condemnation and fears of your family.

It is not very clear from your letter whether your loved ones know your girlfriend. If not, then perhaps personal communication with her will somehow help change their attitude to the current situation.

And remember: the same age, the presence of joint hobbies does not always guarantee a strong relationship. If you like her, you have feelings for her, and she has for you, then it is on mutual love that you can try to build a happy family. But it's up to you!

Under the cerebral cortex, we have it written that only peers of the same age can marry. Therefore, when we see a couple of different ages, it seems unnatural and surprising. There are families where a man is 10, 20, or even 30 years older than a woman, and there are not so few of them.

Let's try to understand where these exceptions come from. Let's start with female psychology.

Women are divided into three groups according to their behavior in marriage:

1. The "wife" is the most common type of woman in marriage. Such women tend to marry their peers. In marriage, they behave like equal partners.
2. "Mother". Such a woman in marriage often has a leading position. The spouse in such a marriage plays a less significant role. A woman-mother often takes care of, decides, controls. In such families, it is not uncommon for a man to be younger than a woman.
3. "Daughter". A woman daughter chooses a person who is much more experienced and, accordingly, older than herself as her companion in life. The reason is the need for custody, protection and patronage.

A man is 10 years older

A woman develops faster by nature. And it turns out that peers do not meet either the psychological or intellectual needs of girls.

Therefore, they like men much older. Girls in their twenties are interested in young men in their thirties. They are drawn to them for experience, intelligence, maturity.

Such a couple can hardly be called peers, but they are both representatives of the same generation. They share music, movies and heroes. In this pair, the man is a more experienced partner, he knows a lot and much better.

Such couples are not uncommon in society and are not surprising. In the traditions of the past, the age difference of 10 years was considered the reference.

A man is 20 years or more older

Such a man will be chosen as her husband by a woman who largely needs protection, support, patronage.

Definitely, this is a woman daughter who in adulthood still feels like a child, weak and defenseless. Perhaps the feeling of insecurity was born in childhood, especially if there was no father in the family. Latently, the "little girl" is looking for this strong image in a man - the image of a father. Therefore, a man 15, 20, or even 30 years older will attract her.

Common factors in choosing a relationship with an older man

• Personal and financial solvency.

A man of forty or more years already has financial well-being, a successful career and material well-being. With such a man, it is initially comfortable to start a family life. A woman realizes that a well-to-do, serious adult man can fully guarantee a stable, serious marriage in which children can be safely planned.

• Marriage readiness, maturity.

A man 15 years or more older is attracted by his serious attitude to life and marriage. He appreciates more family comfort and all the preferences of the family as such. Such men are wiser, they have previous experience of personal relationships. They are capable of compromises.

• Ability to look after beautifully.

If a man is much older, he is more experienced in dealing with women. Knows how to make something pleasant, what gifts and flowers to give.

• High social status.

There are also cases when women choose a husband much older than themselves, focusing on his professional and life success. For example, young actresses marry older, venerable directors. Nurses are for famous surgeons, and so on.

Here the image of the spouse is idealized due to his high objective assessment. A man as a luminary of science or art is attractive precisely for this. A person who has earned the honor and respect of a huge number of people evokes respect and interest. The authority of such a husband for a wife is enormous. As well as admiration for his professional skills.

Relationships with an older man promise help for a young woman in her own career or work.

• Feeling secure

By marrying an older man, a woman feels herself under the tutelage and patronage. Almost 100% of the leader in such a union will be a man. It will be responsible for decision making and leadership. This is very appealing to the pronounced "daughter" type women, who are afraid to be decisive and adults.

There are significant disadvantages to marriages where the husband is older than the wife.

• Difference of interests

The obvious gap in interests is becoming one of the main problems. This is due to the fact that if a man is 13 years older, the husband and wife are people of different generations. Each of them grew up on different music, different fairy tales, read different literature. In adulthood, they form a different social circle according to their age.

At the initial stage of family relationships, this is imperceptible. The couple are passionate about their passion. A few years later, when the first flair of love passes, these problems appear in almost every family of different ages. They find it difficult and bored with each other.

• Physiological (sexual) problems

If at 20 years old a wife quite normally perceives the difference with her husband at 20 or more years, then after 10 years this difference can turn into a problem.

A 30-year-old woman at her peak and a 50-year-old man in the process of sexual decline: how can they be fully together? The sexual appetites of a young woman and the desire for peace in a 50-year-old husband create conflicts in the family.

• Different energetics

This is directly related to age. A young partner longs for development, growth, movement, while the other is already tired of the race in life and, on the contrary, is looking for a safe haven and peace.

It turns out that the young wife, by her forty, has built a successful career, is full of energy and positive, and her elderly husband is already a pensioner who prefers a sofa and a book. The different rhythm of two people is a threat to such a marriage.

It is good if the adult spouse turns out to be an active and active match for the young spouse. In this case, the marriage will be lasting.

• Premature aging

It is noticed that a young wife next to her older husband is getting older purely visually and internally. They seem to be changing with energy. She gives him youth, and he gives her maturity. A young wife with an adult husband becomes calmer, slower, more sedate.

• Jealousy

In such a relationship, there is almost always a place for jealousy. Unequal positions of both lead to the emergence of distrust, neurosis. An elderly spouse may be jealous of a young spouse, realistically assessing his and her sexual needs.

• Unequal marriage. Rejection of relationships by relatives, friends and society at large.

The family of a young girl will dissuade from such a marriage, emphasizing the increasing age difference over time. Friends of an adult man will suspect the young spouse of self-interest.

• The past of a man

Another disadvantage in a relationship with an adult man is his past. As a rule, behind the shoulders of a man is an unsuccessful marriage and, possibly, children. This relationship will not disappear without a trace from his life. The young wife will have to come to terms with the fact that the ex-wife and children from the previous marriage will constantly emerge in their family life. And this is a difficult burden.

To create normal intrafamily relations from a young spouse, a great deal of wisdom, tact and patience will be required.

Why do men marry young women?

• Increasing self-esteem in one's own eyes and in the eyes of society.

A man who has married a woman much younger than himself thus proves his worth in many areas of life, for example, in sex, in social status. A young wife nearby is proof of a man's success.

• The ability to cheat age, become younger.

With a young wife, a man feels much younger. He begins to monitor his health and appearance in order to match his wife. He has an influx of energy and positiveness.

• Raising the perfect wife.

An adult man, as a rule, already has experience of family life and divorce. His attitude to the female sex was formed under the yoke of negative personal experience, where a woman acted as an irritant and a source of problems. In this regard, a man is pessimistic about his peers, considering them already formed personalities with whom it is not easy to find a common language and build good relationships.

With a young girl, everything is much easier. The character is not fully formed, the young diva looks at an experienced man with undisguised delight and admiration. In such a pair, a man feels more confident and stronger. He plays a leading role. He takes care of, patronizes, manages, teaches.

Still, many men, marrying a young girl, idealize the upcoming marriage and see in their spouse only a kind, caring hostess who will constantly bother at the family nest.

Sometimes such men hardly see in their wife a mature adult person who needs a career and their own separate life.

Having described all the pros and cons of a relationship with an older man, it should be noted that there are plenty of examples around us where a man is much older than his wife.

Here are some of the famous couples:

• Lydia Tsirgvava and singer Alexander Vertinsky. The age difference is 34 years. In marriage, 2 daughters were born and raised: wonderful actresses Marianna and Anastasia Vertinsky.
• Director Oleg Tabakov and actress Marina Zudina. The age difference is 30 years. Married for over 20 years, two children: Maria and Pavel.
• Director Andrei Konchalovsky and actress, TV presenter Yulia Vysotskaya. The age difference is 36 years. Together for over 20 years. Two children were born in the marriage: Mary and Peter.
• Hollywood actors Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones. The age difference is 25 years. They are raising two children: 12-year-old Carey and 15-year-old Dylan. Together for over 15 years.
• Fashion designer Roberto Cavalli and model Lina Nilson. The age difference is 47 years. Together for over 6 years.
• Directed by Woody Allen and Sun-I-Previn. The age difference is 35 years! The couple have been happy together for many years and are raising 2 children.
• Singer Alexander Gradsky and Marina Kotashenko. The age difference is 32 years. Together for 12 years, and last year the couple had a son, Alexander.

All of the above couples have proven their love over time.

And how many examples of new unions, where husbands suit their wives as fathers, or even grandfathers. Only time will tell how strong such an amazing relationship turned out to be:

• Armen Dzhigarkhanyan and Vitalina Tsymbalyuk-Romanovskaya (age difference - 45 years)
• Ivan Krasko and Natalia Shevel (age difference - 60 years)
• Bari Alibasov and Victoria Maksimova (age difference - 40 years)

Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin wrote back in the nineteenth century: "All ages are submissive to love ...". Centuries succeed each other, but love remains. Only mutual respect, tact and wisdom will help keep this feeling for years.

And the age difference is just numbers. Let them remain with them, on paper!