What should a man do in his life? A man must build a house, plant a tree and raise a son. But how to learn to love

Everyone knows the saying that a real man should have time to plant a tree, raise a son and build a house in his life. Having a house, a garden and a son are traditional criteria for a man’s success. But does a modern man need to strive for these three cherished goals or does success today lie in something else?

The simplest task, at first glance, seems to be the task “Raise a son" Many men have sons, but not all of them raise them, that is, care for and educate them. Unfortunately, many fathers do not pay enough attention to their sons and sometimes do not even love them. But it is the father who is the boy’s role model!

The most effective education is education by example. Therefore, the task “Raising a son”, in fact, implies the ability to begin with becoming a real man, one from whom the son will take an example and, based on this example, grow up as a worthy person.

But in order to raise a son, caring only about the formation of his personality is not enough; you also need to think about external, material well-being. It is unlikely that a child will be happy if the family lives in poverty. Hence the second task of a man - “Build a house”.

Of course, it is not necessary to build a house yourself and it is not at all necessary that it be a house. It is enough to have an apartment, the main thing is that it is your own!

A successful man these days can buy an apartment in the city or a house outside the city. If buy a plot of land in a cottage village , you can build your house yourself, with your own hands. And then the second task will certainly be completed 100%!

The meaning of the task “ To plant a tree” is perhaps the deepest. What trees are usually planted? Fruit! Those from which you can harvest, those that later grow into a large garden. This means that a man must be able to find a direction of development, work and business from which he can receive constant profit.

The “tree” that feeds will help the man both maintain the house he has built and provide everything necessary for his entire family.

But even if we take the third task literally, it does not become less significant for life. By planting trees, people save the planet, and therefore themselves. Everyone today wants to live in an ecologically clean area, everyone loves to relax in nature and many would like to live in the country.

Ideally, if you have an apartment in a metropolis, for example, in Moscow, you can buy a summer cottage not far from the city, where you can go to relax from the bustle of the city and breathe fresh air.

So, all three tasks are still relevant in our time. And these days, having a garden, a house and a son are the criteria for the success of a real man.

, - what is the meaning of this definition?

What is the meaning of human life?

What does it take to be happy? Have you tried to answer these questions for yourself?

There is such a definition: "A man must build a house, plant a tree and raise a son."

And many of us take this literally—they start a family and raise children. They are furnishing what they inherited from their parents or grandparents, or they are actually building or buying a house or apartment for themselves. They start a dacha or a garden where they plant and grow more than one tree. But they still happen, and very often, to be unhappy.

What is it to build a house?

Home is a place where love, kindness, understanding, mercy, help, care, tenderness, joy, and happiness live. Home is the entire space of your life. Home is your homeland. Home is everything that is sweet and dear to you, it is where you feel good.

You can also call yourself your home - a home or temple for your soul. That is, first of all, each person must become a home for the soul. So that his soul blossoms and sings, and this song of the soul pours out into the world, making it better.

What are we really doing? We build mansions for the body, do European-quality renovations, buy expensive carpets, furniture, and dishes. But this does not make our homes better - there is no warmth in them, no love. Yes, there is no time for the soul - continuous worries.

There is something to think about, isn’t it?

A - "to plant a tree"? What does this mean? Of course, and a literal tree. Each of us should take care of nature. Must love and preserve her. In their dacha or garden, everyone takes care of their own seedlings and seedlings, their own flowers and berries. He tries to water them, weed them, and remove excess dirt. And in nature, when you go on a picnic or pick mushrooms, or go fishing. How many of you pick up trash after yourself? How many of you put out the fires on which you cooked your kebab? Our forests and parks, and even just courtyard areas, have turned into a dump of garbage and dirt. And what is the use of the fact that everything at your dacha is sparkling clean, but near your entrance or house there is garbage and dirt?

But there is also another meaning "to plant a tree". This is to enable a new generation to grow and become a new tree of life, the Tree of Life. Your parents are the roots, you (family - spouses) are the trunk, your children are the branches, your grandchildren are the twigs, your great-grandchildren are the leaves. But every branch and twig, every leaf must grow its own Tree. This is how the ancestral grove grows - the clan.

What is it "create a family"? It’s not easy to meet a person, fall in love, have a wedding, give birth to a child, feed him, send him to be raised first in a nursery, kindergarten, school, college, etc. This is a very responsible work, and first of all, with yourself. Everyone must find those ways and compromises that will make communication in the family comfortable, calm and joyful, full of warmth and love. Everyone should try very hard to raise their children to be reasonable and kind.

What is really happening today? Two young people meet who do not have the correct morality in their relationship to each other, since all the media today talk about open relationships, not about morality, but about immorality. Young people do not understand and do not know what it is to love. And so-called falling in love, a sensual relationship, arises. And, these two really want to escape from the care of their parents, or one of the two is thinking about their own benefit (money, apartment, etc.), or it’s just this "last hope" start a family, or it just so happens that a new person is about to be born. This is how it is created "family". And today it is even called "marriage".

Where is the love? Where in relationships with each other is trust, understanding, kindness, desire to help, tenderness. Usually there are none. There is either attachment (habit), or any obligations (the same marriage contract), or "hold" Small children. But the attitude towards our children is purely everyday - to feed, clothe, educate on time, and the school, the institute should be responsible for education, but not ourselves, we already spend a lot of money to provide our children with textbooks, a computer, clothes, food ; " so that they don't need anything", or were "no worse than others."

Where is the love for the child? Not cooing and indulging in whims, not excessive care, but love?

Exactly Mom and dad should be the first educators and teachers. It is mom and dad who should be the first comrades and friends.

Exactly mom and dad must show their child the world he has come to. It is you who must teach your child to love.

But how can you teach to love if you don’t know how?

Love is a very deep feeling that must be kept in balance. remember, that "from love to hate one step". Hatred comes from disappointment, from unfulfilled hopes.

What have you done to make all your hopes come true, to make your dream come true?

Love needs to be cultivated. Moreover, even just respect or deep affection can grow into great love. I can tell you this for sure. I went through this myself.

But for this you need to really love yourself and see in your partner, first of all, a person who has something to love for.

This is the kind of love that lasts for many years. It's like in fairy tales: "They lived happily ever after and died on the same day".

You need to try not to change another person with your moral teachings, but to change yourself. Understand what is important in life for you and for him. Find compromises, and such that both you and your other half feel calm and comfortable. So that in your relationship there are no omissions or even small deceptions. And this is a job for two spouses.

The simplest thing is to say that he (she) himself does not want to change, that you already do so much for a calm family life, that you are already tired of adjusting and giving in.

And this is how many families live. And children in such families grow up the same way - ignorant of happiness - there was no one to learn from.

Here you go "A man must build a house, plant a tree and raise a son".

It turns out that each of us must first educate ourselves. Understand yourself. Accept yourself. Learn to love, learn to give and receive love.

It's difficult, but anyone can do it!

After all, this is precisely why we came to this earth - to learn to love..

And I’m talking about love not as a relationship or feelings for another person, but about selfless, unconditional, boundless and pure love. This is love for yourself - as the temple of the soul, this is love for the world in which you live, this is love for the people who surround you, this is love for your roots - all your ancestors, this is love for God, as the Creator of everything and everyone, this is love for the person who is your soul mate, this is love for your children, an extension of yourself, this is love for all living things.

But how to learn to Love?!

Start changing yourself: “Change yourself, and the world will change around you!”

These are not just nice words. This is a rule that each of us must follow if we want to live in a better world.

Ecology of life: Usually, when making lists of what they would like to do in life, people write all sorts of nonsense. There are either obvious things or showing off. Sex on a plane is boring. The Burning Man festival is a stupid idea. Mardi Gras isn't nearly as good as everyone thinks. Growing a beard is easy. Running with bulls and conquering mountain peaks is not worth it. Here is a list of things that every man should do at least once in his life.

Usually, when making lists of what they would like to do in life, people write all sorts of nonsense. There are either obvious things or showing off. Sex on a plane is boring. The Burning Man festival is a stupid idea. Mardi Gras isn't nearly as good as everyone thinks. Growing a beard is easy. Running with bulls and conquering mountain peaks is not worth it. Here is a list of things that every man should do at least once in his life.

1. Get your body in order. There is nothing to argue about here.

2. Prepare a gourmet dinner for close friends.

3. Work as a bartender.

4. Give yourself a luxury gift (like a sports car or a cool watch) for a special occasion.

5. Swim naked, preferably with company.

6. Hire someone to do the job.

7. Fire someone.

8. Get drunk in Yangon, Kashgar, Zanzibar, Kyoto and Nashville.

9. Adopt an animal from a shelter.

10. Treat a veteran to a beer.

11. Read The Brothers Karamazov and Don Quixote.

12. Gallop on your horse.

13. Shoot with a machine gun.

14. Tell one of your best friends that you don't approve of his fiancée.

15. Fight back the bully.

16. Live abroad.

17. Make a big, risky investment.

18. Try you-know-what-but-we-can't-write-about-it.

19. Tell your partner what you really want in bed.

20. Buy yourself a tuxedo before you turn 30 and maintain your figure so that you can always fit into it.

21. Attend the Kentucky Derby, the World Cup, the Olympics, or any other major sporting event of your choice.

22. Race on the racetrack.

23. Go surfing.

24. Participate in the design and construction of your dream home.

25. Lie when it would be easier to tell the truth.

26. Have children.

27. Go scuba diving.

28. Buy tickets for the front row, kissing seats, near the ropes, in the gallery, behind the bench, or sneak backstage.Don't post photos from there on Instagram.

29. Call someone you have hurt in the past. Apologize.

30. Give such a tip that the waiter's eyes will pop out of his head.

31. Go somewhere on vacation with your father.

32. Shake the president's hand.

34. Accompany a loved one to a chemotherapy session.

35. Show your son how to throw a curveball correctly.

36. Go bar crawling in Patpong (Bangkok).Don't get drunk until you lose your pulse. Believe me, it's not worth it.

37. Spend the night behind bars.Get the case dismissed.

39. Make an enemy for life.

39. Go out on a yacht into the open ocean.

40. Buy everyone at the bar a drink.

41. Cut down a tree. With an axe.

42. Spend your vacation alone.

43. Sign up for a sports section for adults.

44. Spontaneously buy a plane ticket and travel abroad. Buy clothes there.

45. Learn to fly fish. It is cheaper than psychotherapy sessions.

46. ​​Visit a third world country.Remember, this is how most of the world's population lives their short lives.

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47. Spend the night outdoors. Purposefully. Preferably by the fire.

48. Become a coach on your child's sports team.

49. Spend the day swinging a shovel in the hot sun. Have your obituary appear in The Economist. You don't have to be rich, famous or influential to do this.

50. Just living an interesting life is enough. published

Let me make a reservation right away: I believe that a man initially owes nothing to anyone. BUT! There is great wisdom in these words if you look at them from a different angle. Building a house, planting a garden and raising children influence the development of a man himself very favorably. Of course, you can prove yourself in another way. Someone wants to write a book or a scientific treatise, do charity work, become a great athlete, teacher, craftsman, etc. But it is building a house, planting trees and caring for children that has practical benefits and promotes self-improvement. Let's look at all three instructions.

Building a house.

Many people prefer not to bother with construction, but to buy ready-made housing or hire builders. But you can buy living space, real estate, andhouse you can only build. When you put your energy into construction, when you treat your creation with love, then you will get a house in which you will be comfortable, joyful, calm and cozy.
During construction, a man needs to learn a lot, learn about the properties of building materials, and master several specialties. A builder must be a carpenter, mason, roofer, plumber, electrician, plasterer, painter, joiner, welder, foreman, craftsman and designer all rolled into one. A man learns to overcome difficulties, organize work, and plan one step ahead. We can say that this is a maturity test.

Planting a garden, planting trees.

You can bypass the difficulties here too and buy ready-made fruits, vegetables and berries. But only the fruits of your garden, when you again use your own energy, will become both the most delicious food and medicine for you at the same time. After all, plants (even though we consider them a lower form of life) very subtly sense the human condition and react to the slightest changes, producing exactly those substances that a particular person needs.
When planting trees, a man studies natural cycles, becomes immersed in the rhythms of life, and penetrates into the secrets of the interconnection of all living things. This is certainly also beneficial for personal development.

Parenting.

The most important step in becoming a man is raising children. You can find a workaround here too. For example, hire nannies, educators, governesses, entrust your wife or grandparents to look after the children, or simply step away from upbringing by paying alimony. But will you then have the moral right to call your child a son or daughter? The most valuable things in our lives cannot be bought with money.
A father's responsibility for his children places the highest demands on a man. In essence, we are not raising children, but ourselves. We grow and develop together with children, because the best education is personal example. In the child's small universe, parents play the role of gods. Children try to be like their parents, they unconditionally believe their every word, and relationships in the family are subsequently projected onto relationships with other people. It is the parents who lay the foundation for the child’s worldview.

Building a house, planting a garden and raising children is a test and at the same time a path to self-development for a man.
This is how I see the meaning of this catchphrase.

All the best.

What should a real man do: plant a tree, build a house and raise a son? Today, hundreds of other desires have been added to these three dreams. Here are some of them:

1. Travel around the world.

2. Jump with a parachute.

3. Fall in love.

4. Swim with sharks.

5. Go scuba diving to the wreckage of a sunken ship.

6. Casting for films or television.

7. Have a reception.

8. Buy drinks and invite everyone you know.

9. Do a photo shoot.

10. Learn to fly an airplane.

11. Learn to play a musical instrument...

12. Live in the south for at least a year.

13. Live in the center of the capital city for at least a year.

14. Spend a few weeks relaxing by the sea with your loved one.

15. Go surfing.

16. Learn a foreign language.

17. Visit the North Pole.

18. Participate in the show as an audience member.

20. Jump off a cliff into the water in some exotic place.

21. Climb a mountain.

22. Cook the fish you caught yourself.

23. Ride a horse.

24. Drink warm beer from a barrel in a real Irish pub.

25. Spend the night traveling from one bar to another.

26. Jump from the stage into the crowd at a rock concert.

27. Play at the casino.

28. Visit a high quality strip club.

29. Take a three-week cross-country road trip with your three best friends.

30. Ride a camel through the desert.

31. Rafting down the river.

32. Take up snowboarding.

33. Get physically fit.

34. Understand how government works in your country.

35. Learn some type of dance.

36. Kiss in an unusual place.

37. Write a book, even if it is short and will never be published.

38. Visit third world countries to see what real poverty is.

39. Swim in the sea at midnight.

40. Take a shower under a waterfall.

41. Choose your goals in life and write them down.

42. Spend New Year's Eve in the main square of the city.

43. Go on a blind date.

44. Fall asleep under the stars.

45. Visit Oktoberfest in Munich.

46. ​​Visit Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

47. Visit the carnival in Rio de Janeiro.

48. Relax as a savage.

49. Fly in a hot air balloon.

50. Rent a fast sports car and drive on the freeway.

51. Change jobs until you find what you need.

52. Buy your own house.

53. Buy a sports car.

54. See the Grand Canyon.

55. Attend an important football match.

56. Spend the whole day at home with loved ones.

57. Learn to mix cocktails.

58. Take part in a marathon.

59. Tell a joke while standing in front of a large audience.

60. Fire a weapon.

61. Cross the English Channel.

62. Bungee jump.

63. Make fire by rubbing stick against stick.

64. Pass the exam for your friend.

65. Learn a trick.

66. Get a couple of recipes for dinner.

67. Learn to sail.

68. Get an education and continue your studies.

69. Spend your vacation on the other side of the world.

70. Have fun in a high-rise building in an apartment with an amazing view.

There can be many options, the main thing is that you like them. You will succeed, the main thing is to believe in your dream.

Andrey Vetoshkin