Topics for conversation with your child. Making bad choices doesn't make you a bad person. What not to do

Often, mothers wait until the child is completely grown up to communicate with him on an equal footing. Until then, they can lisp, babble, and otherwise distance themselves when the baby asks funny and stupid questions.

Hundreds of questions - hundreds of answers

First rule - always answer everything children's questions. Even if you’re busy, even if the question is funny, and especially if you don’t know what to answer. Very often children ask their parents such questions that mothers, even after several minutes of thought, are still not ready to give an answer. Maybe the reason for this is that children perceive the world without prejudice, thinking non-stereotypically, and therefore freshly. Therefore, the mother is not even aware of the things that the child notices and tries to understand. It is not necessary to give your child a boring, comprehensive answer that the child will not even listen to. Try to explain everything figuratively, with examples, so that what is said is imprinted in the child’s mind.

Silent question

It’s not a fact that a one and a half year old child will directly ask you about what interests him. Sometimes the baby points his finger at the window, pointing either to the crow or to the dog. Most likely, he will not support his gesture with the question “Mom, why is the crow sitting on the wire?” If you notice a child’s questioning look, tell him about what interested him so much.

About the weather?

You can talk endlessly with your child about what surrounds him. Tell, explain, show and generally do everything to make the baby interested in more and more things. And the English custom of talking about the weather is also relevant here. Tell and show your child that the sun is shining, how beautiful the clouds are, how green the grass is or why it's raining. The child is interested in absolutely everything; the question is whether you can explain it clearly to the child.

Let's talk about life

After two years, or even earlier, a child begins to think about people’s actions. But he doesn’t always ask his mother about this. Therefore, explain to your child why you are doing a specific job, what dad does at work and why he is so happy today. For a child, this will be the first step in understanding the actions and moods of people, and trying to independently understand them.

Let's just chat

It is not necessary, when talking to a child, to try to teach him or show him something. Sometimes a child just wants to listen to you speak. And your calm and non-instructive tone is more to your liking. In this case even two year old baby The atmosphere of the conversation, the mood, your closeness are important.

Remember, it is not necessary to try to constantly raise a child, because true education occurs precisely at the moment when you behave naturally, talk to the child, because you want to tell him something, and not just important for educational purposes.

If you are the parent of a five-year-old child, then ask yourself, how is your relationship with him? Do you always understand him, are you interested in what worries the baby? After all, adults often show respect and attention to other people, and to build trusting relationship They can’t with their child. To understand how to find the right approach to a five-year-old little man, you first need to delve into psychological characteristics development of children during this period.

Children aged 5 are very curious

Psychology of a child at the age of five

This stage in a child’s life is usually characterized as transitional: from early childhood to the status of a preschooler. Noted active development, knowledge of the surrounding world. Children at the age of five overcome a certain turning point; they become aware of themselves as individuals in a social environment, their qualities and capabilities. They are more sensitive to how others treat themselves. All this suggests that little man own self-esteem is formed. What it will be like depends on many factors, but first of all on what he receives from the world around him. Especially from communicating with adults.

Advice: you should pay attention to your behavior as a parent, because the child very actively copies it. Examples of close relatives (brothers, sisters) also have an influence in this regard.

By nature, any child wants to be good, to be appreciated and praised. Therefore, it is extremely important to support this desire both for parents and other adults (grandparents, teachers). If a child does a positive thing, it is definitely worth celebrating. But the main thing here is to indicate what exactly you are praising him for. The child must understand that doing this is good and repeat his actions in the future.

Emotional and cognitive aspects of development

At age five, continues to develop and mature steadily emotional sphere. You may notice that your baby's feelings become deeper. If before he experienced rather simply the joy of communication, now this is expressed in more complex form: sympathy and affection. And this is where these things take their roots moral concepts, like friendship, sensitivity, kindness, and over time, a sense of duty.

The child also shows the ability to think. However, he may not always come to the right conclusions.

Then follow this advice: parents should respect the baby’s first conclusions and unobtrusively correct them if necessary.

Communication skills of five-year-old children

The child shows everything more interest to children of approximately the same age. And from habitual communication only in the family, he increasingly moves on to broader relationships with the outside world.

Often a preschooler in this period divides children into “good” and “bad.”

But in this way he evaluates them based on the opinions of adults. Kids can be friends, quarrel, be offended, seek reconciliation, even be jealous, but they also help each other. The child has an increasing need for recognition of himself as an individual and respect among other peers.

Communication with peers is an important component of development

Due to the fact that in children of five years of age, communication with adults is dominated by cognitive interest, then inevitably there are a lot of questions that they ask. More often in the character of “why”. This happens because it is the adult who is the indisputable authority, the source of knowledge.

Helpful advice: it is important to listen to the child, because no one else but the parents can clearly explain to the child everything that worries him and replenish his knowledge.

Strong-willed qualities and focus develop. With their help, children can overcome certain difficulties that arise at this age. But along with active independence in the spirit of “I do it myself,” children are often overtaken by failures, discouraging them at the same time. And if there are a lot of mistakes, this can subsequently lead to a feeling of insecurity.

How to build trust with your child

In fact, no special knowledge or action is required in this matter. The main thing is to always put yourself in your child’s shoes, strive to imagine the world as he sees it. And then it will be much easier to understand what your baby wants and how exactly you can help him. It’s clear that adults don’t really remember what they were like at five years old, but something remains in their memory. It would be good to sometimes remember and ask yourself questions: “How did I behave at this age? what I liked, etc.” Simply put, look at the world through a child's eyes.

The relationship between parents and children is, so to speak, a whole field for the development of skills such as care, help, respect. A five-year-old child is susceptible not only to memorizing rhymes, numbers, and letters. You can really talk to him, even about love. Just try, sometimes you can hear the amazing truth that adults are afraid to tell themselves. But more often in society it is understood this way: what can a child of five know?

To understand how to establish a relationship with a child and trust each other, you need to remember some things and adhere to simple rules in everyday communication.

Principles of the correct approach to a child at the age of five

Agree that even an adult will be pleased when someone comes up to him after a hard day at work, asks “how are you?”, hugs him, warms him up kind words. It’s the same with children. Just talk to them in a friendly way, ask how their day was, what was new in the garden, or maybe ask deeper questions about what worries them.

Important advice: if you do this sincerely, with love, the child will definitely open up and answer you.

• Watch the tone in which you speak to your son or daughter. The speech should be friendly and encouraging. Even if your baby has upset you in some way, you can clarify the situation by calm tone, no screaming. It is easier for five-year-old children to respond when there is no pressure on them, but when they try to understand why they did what they did. If you explain something to a child, do it as simply as possible, in a language he understands. Accessible, clear and unambiguous.
• Always listen to your child. Do this carefully, do not try to interrupt, even if he says something that is not entirely logical. You can carefully correct what was said after the child has finished speaking. And then he will definitely take this into account.
• Set clear boundaries in your child’s behavior, but according to his age characteristics. It is important that he understands: if certain things cannot be done, then this rule does not change.

Advice: here it is important not to give slack to the adult himself. If you say that there is enough candy for today, and then you give out more, then the child will not have a stable concept, and when it is really impossible, a feeling of permissiveness will develop. Children actually love boundaries and rules.

• In a relationship with five year old show maximum patience. After all, often children themselves do not know what they want and why this happens to them. They are still learning this skill of understanding themselves. And it’s normal that a child may take longer to get dressed, clean, and walk than you want. Who would like being constantly pulled back and rushed?
• It's good when parents encourage their children's curiosity. Naturally, a 5-year-old child asks a lot of questions. There is one caveat here. The kid definitely wants an answer. And how he recognizes it directly depends on the adult. Try to become the main source of correct information for him at this age. You don’t need to have special erudition to do this. Advice to parents: if you don’t know what to answer to your child, suggest looking for it together in a book or at least on the Internet. But be sure to find the answer, otherwise he may find it elsewhere. And there are no guarantees that this information will be correct.
• Pay attention to what your child is interested in. Try to grasp what he is drawn to and develop these abilities. You can, of course, try different areas of hobbies, and then gradually determine what your child likes more: singing or drawing, English language or skates. The child must preserve his originality. Parents should not force his interests on him.

• Be a positive example for your child. It’s not without reason that they say that children are a mirror of their parents. At this age, they grasp everything instantly, both good and bad. So watch your words, emotions, actions. But if you made a mistake in the presence of a child, then you need to explain that adults can make mistakes too.
• Never, under any circumstances, compare your child to others. This factor greatly affects his self-esteem. You should also not constantly criticize and scold your child, especially in front of other people. Better in calm state talk through the situation. At the same time, you should look directly into the baby’s eyes, but with an understanding look.
• Do not demand or expect from your child what he is not able to do at his age. Everything should be in moderation, including the number of rules and restrictions. When there are too many of them, he may stop noticing them.

And the last point is highlighted separately. These are games

You should play kind games with kids, educational games. And it is best to build a relationship with a five-year-old child in this form. This means that the baby needs to be captivated by one activity or another: turn cleaning into a fun competition to see who can put the cubes together faster; You can also turn cooking into a game, sew an apron for your child, and your baby will become your assistant in the kitchen.

You also need to participate in the children's games themselves. Just do it from the heart, with love, to be imbued with this process. Then the child will really be interested in his parents. And this is also a deposit good relations With with your own baby. Remember that you and your child should enjoy communication. If so, then you are on the right track!

It can be perceived not only as entertainment, but also used for educational purposes. Children can be offered several topics for discussion that will help them understand the world better.

TRANSPORT

On the street there is a great opportunity to introduce a child to such an integral part of our lives as transport. Draw your baby's attention to the most different kinds private and public transport: cars and trucks, buses, trolleybuses, trams... This way you can identify the main types of vehicles. Now ask your child a question: what color are all these cars? You can also name several main brands of cars, name their main components (wheels, doors, windshield, trunk, hood, steering wheel, seat, etc.)

After this general descriptive excursion, move on to the purpose of each type of transport, explain, for example, the difference between a bus and a taxi, passenger and freight transport, etc. Think together about where you can go by car, bus, trolleybus: to grandma’s, to the park, to the kindergarten, to the circus...

IN educational purposes You can also briefly talk about other types of transport, not as visual as the ones listed above: metro, train, plane, steamship.

ABOUT CLEANITY and GARBAGE

While walking, pay attention to the baby, how clean it is on the street, whether there is any garbage there. At the same time, talk about how important it is to maintain cleanliness, and everything unnecessary (papers, wrappers, jars and bottles) must be thrown into a trash can or trash can. If there are no trash cans anywhere, then it is better to leave the garbage with you (for example, in a bag) and throw it away at home.

The child will also be more attentive to the problems of cleanliness if you show and tell him about exactly how cleanliness is maintained in the city. Tell him about the wipers, watering and harvesting machines, explain how each of them works and what their purpose is. This will form in the child respect for the work of others.

ANIMALS AND BIRDS

Walk around the city – good way getting to know the city's fauna. Of course, in an urban environment it is very limited, but it is what it is. It is important that the child not only learn about the animals themselves, but also get used to them - especially dogs, which children are often afraid of.

Describe the color and size of the individuals you noticed, specify what they eat, what their cubs are called, etc. Be sure to draw your child’s attention to the fact that there are not only domestic cats and dogs, but also stray ones. Also study birds together: what they are called, what sounds they make, where they live.

AT THE PLAYGROUND

First, explain what a playground is and what it is intended for. Emphasize that the playground is shared and a variety of children play here. Name everything that is present on it: swings, slide, sandbox, etc. All this must be used together, without quarreling or swearing - every child present has equal rights to use these items. In this way, you will explain to your child the basics of peaceful interaction with people and conflict prevention.

Tell us about what you can take with you to play on the playground: a shovel, a bucket, toys (a car, a doll, etc.), that it is very good to share your toys with other children. And it’s even better to play together, including outdoor games: “Hide and Seek”, “Catch-up”, etc.

THE SHOPS

Often mothers have to go shopping with their child, which can also be beneficial. Ask your child what store you came to, what exactly do they sell here? What are the names of stores that sell other types of goods (grocery, furniture, etc.)? Name everything you see around: a display case, a counter, a cash register. Also tell us that there are salespeople in the store, and those who buy goods are called customers.

SEASON

Think about what happens in the fall, how nature changes. Tell us about leaf fall, what color the leaves on the trees are now (you can even collect a small collection for a herbarium). Ask your child what the weather has become: what has changed compared to summer? What clothes and shoes should you wear in the fall and why? What is the significance of autumn in the lives of people and nature in general? (harvesting, preparing for winter, etc.)

In general, talk, communicate, teach, but without fanaticism. You shouldn’t turn a pleasant walk into a lecture: everything should be interesting, easy and relaxed.

Tell your child:

1. I love you.
2. I love you no matter what.
3. I love you even when you are angry with me.
4. I love you even when I'm mad at you.
5. I love you even when you are far from me. My love is always with you.
6. If I could choose any child on Earth, I would still choose you.
7. I love you to the moon, around the stars and back.
8. Thank you.
9. I liked playing with you today.
10. Mine favorite memory for the day when you and I *______* (what you did together).

Tell us:

11. The story of their birth or adoption.
12. About how you were *affectionate* with them when they were little.
13. The story of how you chose their names.
14. About yourself at their age.
15. About how their grandparents met.
16. What are your favorite colors?
17. That sometimes it’s difficult for you too.
18. That when you hold their hand and squeeze it 3 times, it’s a secret code that means *love you*.
19. What is your plan.
20. What are you doing now?

Listen:

21. Your child is in the car.
22. What does your child say about his toys, and think about how important this is to him.
23. A question in which your child really needs your help.
24. One second longer than your patience allows.
25. The feelings behind your child's words. Ask:
26. Why do you think this happened?
27. What do you think will happen if _____?
28. How do we find out?
29. What are you thinking about?
30. What is your favorite pleasant memory per day?
31. What do you think *it* tastes like?

Show:

32. How to do something, instead of prohibiting it from being done.
33. How to whistle into blades of grass.
34. How to shuffle cards, make a fan (house).
35. How to cut food. How to fold laundry.
36. How to look for information when you don't know the answer.
37. Attachment to your spouse.
38. That taking care of yourself (caring for yourself) is very important.

Make time:

39. To observe construction sites.
40. To look at birds.
41. Have your child help you cook.
42. Go to some places together.
43. Digging in the dirt together.
44. To complete tasks at your child's pace.
45. Just to sit with your child while he plays. Make your child happy:
46. ​​Surprise him and clean his room.
47. Put chocolate in pancakes.
48. Post a meal or snack in the shape of a smiley face.
49. Make some sound effects when you help them do something.
50. Play with them on the floor.

Let go:

51. Feelings of guilt.
52. Your thoughts about how it should have been.
53. Your need to be right. Give:
54. Look at your child with kind eyes.
55. Smile when your child enters the room.
56. Reciprocate when your child touches you.
57. Make contact before you say (correct) anything so that your child actually hears you.
58. Give your child the opportunity to cope with his dissatisfaction (anger, rage) before helping him.
59. Take a bath at the end of a long day.
60. Choose your favorite way to be kind to your child.

Among my friends on the playground there is a family - a mother and son. The boy is already 2 years old, and no one has ever heard him speak. Even the words “mother”. The woman is raising her son alone and is not very concerned about his upbringing and development. She knows that she needs to talk to the child, but somehow she doesn’t succeed. Somehow she has nothing to talk about with the little one.

I believe that talking to a child is necessary not only to provoke his speech, although this is also important. By telling stories, we open up a world for the little person, interesting and unfamiliar.

Let's explain

Things that are clear and obvious to us are new and often incomprehensible to a child. There are so many interesting things happening on the street! I constantly comment on what is happening to my son: “These are big guys, they are playing catch-up,” or “This is how the guys clear the snow together.” We look for a plane in the sky and watch it disappear behind the neighboring house. We watch people and everything around us.

There are a lot of topics for conversations with small children: fairy tales, toys, cartoons, various birds and insects, shops, cars. I don’t understand how you can be silent all the time?

We teach to communicate

A good simulator for teaching communication is a children's playground. But without our explanations, the child is unlikely to understand how and where to behave. While walking there, I constantly have to remind my son that he shouldn’t throw sand, that he needs to carefully slide down the hill, give way, etc.

Recently I observed a typical scene: a boy and a girl were digging in a sandbox. The boy interfered with the girl, who complained to her mother. The mother did not scold the boy and did not brush her daughter off. In my opinion, she acted very wisely: she turned everything into a game. She invited the children to compete to see who could dig a hole faster and deeper. As a result, there were no offended people, but it simply became more interesting to play.

My son is very interested in watching older children play, and he doesn’t mind playing with them. But I explain that it’s too early for him to play with them and suggest he just watch. And he is interested, and the children like that they show interest in them.

It is important for a child to find out what is happening around him, and for us to evaluate what is happening. I try not to scold other children. Recently, a girl on a bicycle drove straight into my son's bicycle. Of course, I was scared and screamed. Naturally, I wanted to scold her. But she was also scared. As a result, I only asked if she had hurt herself.

If we don’t get angry or call someone names in front of a child, then most likely he will grow up to be a positive person rather than an angry one.

Raising a polite child

We definitely say hello, say thank you, sorry, be healthy, etc. You don’t have to force the child to do this; rest assured, he will understand that this is the right thing to do. My son recently thanked me when I untangled the string from his car, and he answered his neighbor’s “hello” faster than I did. It was nice:)

We have never had a situation where my son tried to take something away from another child or hit someone. But when he stained the girl’s hat with sand, I immediately apologized to her and helped her clean it. After all, he himself does not yet know how to do this, let him learn.

Some people find it difficult to talk to their baby. But in my opinion, it is difficult to raise and develop a child without talking to him.

Is this easy for you?

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