Secrets of happy family life. Common interests and impressions

According to statistics, after several years of marriage, many couples live as cohabitants, and even make a decision to divorce. Therefore, we have prepared for you a few tips that are suitable for those who just started meeting and those who are already preparing for the wedding or are already in family relationships.

A strong family begins not in the registry office and not even at the moment of birth of a child. It begins with mutual respect for the spouses to each other, support and ability to negotiate.

This item relates rather to representatives of strong sex. Although, do not argue, modern women do not mind to take the initiative in their hands. As studied studies of American scientists, it is worth navigating into a figure 3. If the pair meets about three years, then it's time to move to a new stage of relationships and build a strong family. In the case when your partner is in no hurry to make you a proposal, even after 3 years of relationship, it is worth thinking about a few serious intentions. Tackle: Do not delay with a proposal for too long. But here everything is very individual.

Relying on studies of the same American scientists, you can see the following statistics: the couples that concluded before 23 years in 70% of cases parted. The reason is simple: in marriage these people were more difficult to implement, get the highest or second higher education. Also, most of those who put stamp in the passport after 32 divorced in the first years of marriage. Here the habits accumulated to this age have a big role played. With some of them it was difficult to accept.

In general, the age of partners plays a role. The greater the difference in the age of spouses, the greater the probability of divorce. Many experts assure that the girls who choose their older men in satellites quickly lose their attractiveness and look much older than their years. But men, on the contrary, such a union is pursuing. Next to the young girl they acquire more confidence and flourish.

Do not spend a lot of money for the wedding

A luxury ring with diamonds and an expensive wedding are not at all the key to a happy life together in marriage. On the contrary, according to statistics, 46% of the steam, which spent 500,000 or 1 million rubles for a wedding, were divorced. And those who spent less than 500,000 rubles for a wedding, divorced only in 17% of cases. Of course, if you live in such a wealth that an expensive wedding is not a serious walk for you, then boldly celebrate! Otherwise, this money is better to put in the right direction, for example, to improve living conditions or go to an unforgettable romantic wedding trip.

If you decide to choose a healthy, calm and balanced man in satellites, it will probably be able to provide you with a decent and long joint life. This was found to find scientific members of the University of Chicago. They also found out that the woman does not have to be restrained.

Legal marriage in 46% of cases decompose less often than, for example, civil. If there is no press in the passport, then the man does not perceive such a marriage as something serious. And does not consider himself a married man with many obligations.

Most family conflicts begins exactly due to the fact that the spouses do not know how to properly express their feelings and emotions. Due to improper communication, there is a distance from each other. Express your thoughts clearly, without need to look for a secret subtext in them.

Sometimes one of the spouses must be visited alone, in silence and just do your own business. Do not be too imposed or try to please all 24/7. It is pretty tiring, and he also wants to escape such care.

Therefore, if your man asked you to leave him one or just wanted to be alone, do not panic! This is normal. He is not offended and did not cool to you. Some couples even on vacation manage to find a little time to stay apart, in their independence.

Sometimes life destroys romance and passion in relationships, and the spouses begin to look for feelings on the side, ceasing feeling loved and desirable. Before going to all grave, try talking to your partner, discuss with him options how to return the former emotions in the relationship.

Do not forget about obligations

Each of the marriage must understand that this is not just a cohabitation that should end as soon as the passion in relationships. This, above all, the creation of a family with two adult serious people who now have commitments towards each other. If the spouses are equally thinking, the relationship will be successful.

Common interests and impressions

According to the statistics of divorces, less precisely among those couples, where spouses have common interests, values \u200b\u200band views on life. And when the spouses have opposite views on the management of life, the education of children, budget planning, accordingly, misunderstanding and quarrels that can pour out in a divorce. Therefore, find common interests!

In addition, do not forget to try something new, but necessarily together! Make stunning and small discoveries together and regularly. It can be a new restaurant around the corner or an unusual art exhibition, or even a hike in the mountains. Sometimes evening game on a board game is enough to learn something new about the partner and feel novelty in relationships.

Be wiser

Sometimes there are moments when your favorite person can be annoyed and snaps without reason, making his second half hurts. If this happened, try to skip it by the ears. Do not exacerbate the situation with clarifying relationships. Try to figure out what is the cause of such behavior. And if you yourself hurt your husband and realized it, do not forget to ask for forgiveness and do not skip the kisses. It is advisable to do it in 5 minutes after tapping. And such a quick reconciliation will serve as an example of your second half about how to put up.

Self-realization

Happy wife is a pledge of a strong family. The more comfortable and the woman feels in marriage, the stronger the union. Only a favorite woman can make her husband happy. Everything is interconnected.

Many women make themselves sacrificing the family, pushing themselves and their needs for the background. As a result, after some time they feel unhappy, become irritable and completely give themselves to everyday life. No need to be afraid to go against the established stereotypes that the woman should only live for the sake of the family, as well as fear of her husband's wrath.

You need to think about yourself, your interests and impulses, well, and your second half will support you. After all, a loving man will never be against self-realization with his beloved. And it doesn't matter at what the most self-realization will be expressed: in conquering career heights, sewing or comprehension of culinary art.

Sometimes spouses can arise disputes on the topic who washes the dishes, and sometimes a man and at all prefer not to take part in domestic issues. But the traditional separation of duties between the floors is a man - a minider, a woman is a keeper of a homely hearth, long ago in the past. In modern times, men and women work equally, and sometimes a woman can even build a more successful career. Therefore, you should not demand from the spouse to start a "second shift" by the slab when it comes from work. Try to distribute home duties, and if there are financial opportunities, then hire a person who will take all the troubles on house cleaning.

If you are larks and fall asleep early, and your husband is owl and prefers to watch the series before the morning, let him put you sleep. Talk before bedtime, remember the past day, tell each other interesting stories, share the alarms and fears, discuss important life decisions. And you will feel the atmosphere of comfort and tenderness. It is much better and more pleasant than just telling each other "Good night" and close the door to the bedroom.

Manifestation of courtesy and tenderness

Do not forget to thank each other, say "Thank you", "please". Not superfluous compliments. More often smile at each other. Even if your partner is not very funny joked, do not show this, it is better to smile or even dare together. If we are experiencing stress or something distracts us, we forget about it, although we don't need to forget about the warmth of the relationship. Try to be a companion with which it is nice to go through life.

The ideal relationship does not happen, but you can do everything to grow into a long and happy marriage. If there are some problems in the relationship, it is important to recognize them and figure out, and not to close your eyes on what is happening. In a strong family and husband and wife are equal partners who support each other, they rejoice in the victories of their second half and are not afraid to tell about what worries. We hope that our tips will help you.

The secret of a happy marriage is one of the important topics that exciting women of different ages. Men also interests this question, but, unfortunately, to a lesser extent, what would I like.

Why are some matrimonial unions exist for decades, and some couples fall apart a year or two? What is the secret of a happy family life? Let's deal with.

Three types of love

They say: love multifaceted. For a long time, philosophers distinguish:

1. Personal attachment to man, the desire to establish emotional contact with the partner. A happy marriage is impossible without sincere affection that serves as a source of inspiration, joy and confidence in tomorrow.
2. Love-friendshipWhen the spouses feel not only gentle, but also friendly feelings. In such a marriage, the partner will substitute a reliable shoulder on time, hears, will advise how to solve the problem. Joy and grief spouses are worried together as real friends.
3. Romantic relationship, physical attraction of a man and a woman. Passion without love can not exist long. Only in marriage partners can reveal to each other hidden corners of their soul and completely trust a loved one. Caring, gentle words, kisses and arms - an important component of a happy union. Without romance, the relationship is poor, the emotional connection between partners is lost.

Secrets of happy family life

• Mutual respect - The basis, without which there is no love. Do not try to impose your opinion with a partner, treat the thoughts and views of your loved one. Roughness, ridicule, groundless charges and unflattering words kill love.
• Do not take offense, Speak with each other about problems. The ability to forgive is the basis of family life. Sincere repentance and recognition of errors - power, not weakness. Couples in which spouses after a quarrel do not speak for weeks, long "not extended."
• Egoism is one of the factors that destroy the marriage. If one of the partners thinks only about his desires and is trying to achieve goal with any ways, nothing to expect anything good. Egoism and marriage are incompatible. Appreciate the interests of the partner, take care of it - and your life will certainly become happier.
• Despite the equality of the floors and the desire of women to independence respect the desire of a man to lead. Let it be head, but you are a neck that will help in choosing the right path. The head of the family will take responsibility for the well-being and fortress of the family. Do not take a role from a man, let me feel the owner.
• Communicate with spouse, do not close in your shell, manifest sincere attention to his interests. Share joy and grief, tell about your feelings, plans. Do not generate indifference by throwing out on duty phrases: "How are you?", "What at work?". To live with someone else's person in the same apartment - there is a punishment.
• Create a comfort and a pleasant atmosphere in the house. Not in vain say that the "weather" in the family depends on the woman. Heat, tenderness, sincere care for beloved, delicious dinner, clean linen will show the spouse that you care about it. Become a real woman!
• Discuss all questions, do not think that the spouse guess about your thoughts. The frank conversation is the best way to solve any problem that has arisen in the family. Calm tone, the ability to listen to the partner - a good help during a conversation.
• Decide the money issue. It is finances that often become the cause of the sorry and deposits of the family. Sorry how to spend money, how to keep the farm, how to distribute salary, who will lead home accounting. The sooner you find a solution, the less conflicts due to money you have in your family.
• Will a full sex life. Do not consider that romance is needed only during the candy-bought period. The longer you save tenderness to each other and sexual attractiveness, the stronger will be your marriage.

• Do not try to remake your spouse! This rule knows everything, but there are a few. Especially the women sin. Trying to make the perfect husband, they kill individuality in the spouse, give rise to protests and unnecessary quarrels. Infinite quits and orders will be reduced "no" all feelings.
• Respect each other's personal space, let the spouse be alone with your thoughts. In happy families, each has its own corner in which you can relax from communication.
• Create family traditions. Family ritual is a good way to show that you are a family. Do not copy friends and relatives, choose what you like.
• Do not sacrifice the interests of the family in favor of the career. Try to achieve harmony in the time distribution that you pay for work and family. Otherwise, one day you will understand that no one is waiting for you at home, the family is destroyed, and you have only not necessary work achievements.
• Do not let relatives interfere in your life. Listen to their advice, but make a decision on all issues only together with your spouse. In happy families, partners are trying to find a golden middleware with loved ones. Remember: the annoying attention of relatives, the imposition of their views destroyed not one family.

Secrets of a happy marriage a lot. Only work on relationships, the desire to understand a loved one, mutual confidence and respect will help you live with spouses a long and happy life.

Unfortunately, many already at the first time of their family life suddenly unexpectedly understand how difficult it is sometimes possible to escape from conflicts, solve joint problems and at the same time try not to conceive any interests ...

Why do we create a family?

To go with your companion through a lifetime, in order to help each other in family relationships, happy children appear in the family.

Surely most people will answer this way. Although there are, of course, marriage for the calculation, where each side pursues its benefit.

But, nevertheless, we are all trying to find happiness in family life. And, as the result, to mark the "golden" wedding together to look again, as for the first time, look at your loved one and repeat: "In trouble and in joy, in wealth and poverty .."

What is the "golden" wedding, and what are the recipes for such a happy longevity in marriage?

Gold is a noble metal of yellow color, ductile, chemically very inert, does not change in the air even when heated.

Isn't it fair, because in order to live 50 years together, you need special "hardware", the softness of character, the invariance of feelings is even "when heated from outside", the inertia symbolizes the constancy of the direction in the goal movement.

So in marriage, we are moving all family life to a single goal together, confident in the reliability and support of the partner.

Unfortunately, many already at the first time of their family life suddenly unexpectedly understand how difficult it is sometimes possible to escape from conflicts, to solve joint problems and at the same time try not to conceive any interests.

Apparently, therefore, individual couples quickly part, and without having lived even before their "wooden" wedding. In our time, unfortunately, it rarely lives to a platinum, not to mention the "golden".

And yet, maybe there are some recipes for those who seriously want to live in a family for a long time and happily and die in one day?

Did you pay attention to that our grandfathers, in the main mass, live together together? Our moms are no longer so burdened with family bonds, unfortunately. And all because the old men, in general, ever, as a rule, did not consider the option - divorce.

In their thinking and consciousness, the exit from the crisis situation was other options, but not a divorce. And now, a little bit wrong, look for another ....

And the meaning is to divorce if a person cannot solve the family problem? Next marriage again divorce? As an example, one of my familiar family elderly couple, making marriage, agreed - if there are conflict situations in the family, the husband silently is going and goes for a walk. During the long-term collaborative family life, her husband had not one kilometer around the house, so this family lived to a golden wedding.

Of course, you need to get rid of the wrong ideas about family life "on the shore", so to speak, to remove the "pink" glasses, such as the fact that common children surely fasten the marriage and make a couple happier.

Numerous studies prove that the appearance in the family of the firstborn provokes the first serious conflicts in the family and then the main thing is to resist "afloat", that is, competently distribute your attention and strength, and this is the work of the hands exclusively a woman.

However, there is also a plus: according to statistics in the percentage ratio, family couples with children are divorced somewhat less often than childless families. It is not worthwhile in the clouds in the clouds (by the way I will say right away - unfortunately, but this is how things are), and think that the key to a long and successful marriage is good luck and romantic feelings.

The secret of a long marriage, as family-friendly "long-livers" is recognized, in understanding and friendly relations between partners.

They are confident that they built their marriage themselves to themselves - serious peace, the desire to devote themselves to a partner and complying with the marriage commitments taken.

The happiest family couples are friends who live with a common life, whose interests and aspirations coincide.

It also makes it also the opinion that men love smarts and beauties, and marry "fools", and the fact that the better the woman is formed, the smaller she has a chance not only to marry, but also live a long happy family life.

It is believed that such a wife will be definitely above his wife, to whom it will constantly annoy it, infringe on and, as a result, he will find a witness. This is not true. With an interesting and educated woman, a man is comfortable not only at home, but also in humans, where he will be proud to be proud of how erudited his second half and, accordingly, appreciate her every year more and more.

Married, be prepared to not only take attention signs from your spouse, but also to show similar gestures to his address. And if you love, then demand the same love and from your partner. That is, to apply the same amount of effort in relation to each other.

It seems that this is exactly the so-called "high relationships", about which we are all so dreaming. Otherwise, even the most good family relationships soon will definitely give a crack.

Another error is that some believe that civil marriage contributes to the future long marriage: the couple has time to get to know each other better.

However, many studies confirm the opposite: couples living together before marriage, much more likely to divorce than those who began to build life only after the wedding.

Unfortunately, dry statistics cannot fully highlight the reasons. Perhaps the fact is that the most people who positively relate to civil marriage are more prone to divorce. There is a theory that a joint preservation provokes some negligence in relationships: they say, since we are not married, then we can easily with our relationship and you can easily finish.

Later, after the conclusion of marriage, this attitude is projected on family life. Therefore, as you understand, if you build something for centuries, it is necessary to start with the foundation.

At the same time, by the way, it is not necessary to be sure that your family relationships after printing in the passport will continue at the rolled line. Remember that the family is the same as the construction of a house in which the brick brick is first lay out the foundation, and then the whole building of family life.

In other words, family life is everyday work of two people. In the opposite case, the ugly building can be.

One of the most serious mistakes is the confidence that in marriage you will continue to continue making love all with the same intensity as it was during courtship. Try to understand and accept the fact that the hormones of passion have a lot to subsight over time.

All this is quite natural. And if so, then take the situation in your own hands and periodically simply induce the "order" in your intimate relationships. It is not necessary to completely dissolve each other and absolutely everyone to know about your husband.

This is not at all interesting and besides dangerous, because there is a chance to lose all interest in it. And therefore, do not report to your narrowed literally about everything that happens with you; Let you have their little secrets.

Moreover, this applies not only to your work, relationships with the boss and friends, but also the secrets of your personal attractiveness. In this regard, he completely no need to know how your cheeks are poured by a blush, eyes and hair shine, and the mouth contours become more delineated.

Well, by itself, do not seek to control literally every step of your faithful and try to be all true and unlikely to be almost a second one. Acting in this way, you will soon simply be tired of each other.

After all, it is not by chance that there is no better way to wave each other than to be nearby.

Therefore, we make the right conclusion: you live your life, get as much pleasures as much as possible and after that share them with those who accompany you on family life.

Only so you will be good together and only so you will have a chance to live in a happy marriage to the "golden" wedding.

Ayurveda, traditional Indian medicine, believes: A man to succeed in life, it is necessary to find a chaste wife. A man is a defender. The desire to lead and respond to someone laid in the male psyche.

We, women need a support and protection, that's what we first are looking for in my husband. Without seeing this, we begin to educate a man in family relationships. But if a woman interfers to her husband to be a family leader, trying to control and give advice, how to make money, if indicated with whom to build relationships, how to treat other people than to deal with, considers it not quite smart - there will be no happiness in such a family .

As long as the woman is instinctively or deliberately obeyed in family relations a man, he will not be able to reveal his best male qualities.

The husband will begin to degrade, and after a while the wife will not even be able to respect it. Unfortunately, this situation is not uncommon.

As soon as the woman occupies a dependent position, the man automatically becomes responsible for the family. Our mistake is that we are trying to solve all the questions with the help of power, pressure, criticizing a man what to do, by the way, in no case cannot.

You can give a lot of tips how to live a long lucky family life, but, in my opinion, respect, confidence - these are two main points for family life.

And of course, the initial "tab" in the family: a man is a wall, a minider, a defender. Woman - house, comfort and tenderness.

This is the basis of the basics of each family, which can proudly say: "We are newlyweds again! Golden. "

With the wishes of happy family life and longevity

Previous news

She looks at him, contempt and pours out of her eye and spreads around: "Yes, but at different times."

This little remark showed everything in the relationship of this married couple.

Long, happy marriage: Is it really that else? I think you have to wait fifty years to find out. Of course, no one should tolerate insults and remain married for the "save family". If the spouse is insulting and humiliates you, then in any case he has already violated this terms of the "contract" (remember that they swear "love and take care"). But the now widespread expression "Society of Lost Opportunities" can mean that absolutely normal relationships are too rapidly rejected on the grounds that they do not look perfect.

The irony lies in the fact that the current obsession "personal consistency" - in other words, with an increase in its own significance at the expense of others - left more People failed, sad and lonely. Marriages crack and burn with a bright flame, when the former spouses are replaced with "new versions", which, of course, always "better." It seems that the ideas of debt, obligations and responsibilities are thrown into the side of the road - together with happiness.

Happy marriage is, first of all, health

Marriage may seem like old-fashioned and faded as old ink, but repetitive studies show that people who lived all their lives with one spouse - the happiestand that married on statistics is happier and live longer than idle. Do we know why some marriages are successful, and others are not?

Today we already know what to avoid and what you need to maintain and develop and develop that marriage is happy and healthy. Of course, there are no ideal marriages, but happy - a lot. Difficulties happen in happy couples, but they have a constant sense of community: "We", and not "you" and "I".

Adhere to the following strategic rules (I mean both spouses) and who knows, maybe in 50 years you will tell me about all the medical and psychological advantages and the happiness you enjoyed all these years.

So, first of all:

1) Be realists in your expectations regarding marriage

Romanticism is wonderful and see the best in your spouse - a sure way save love and intimacy. However, you are going to be together for many years, so you need to be able to close your eyes to some imperfections of the spouse. In the first gusts of passion, the object of our romantic attention may seem devoid of flaws, but later we discover the weakness hidden. At this moment, to continue the marriage, we need to look further and deeper, see what "for the" shortcomings and weaknesses of the partner in the end, no one is perfect. In family relations, it's easily not to do, expectations that everything will be easily, and that everything will always be "perfectly", lead only to disappointments (the lot of all unrealistic expectations).

Idealize your spouse as soon as you can, but remember that he / she is only a person.

2) "Sorry" should not be the most difficult-acting word

You noticed that some people never apologize, never admit that they were wrong and never says "sorry"? Noticed? So, these people have much less chance to ever enter into marriage or save it.

Polls of married people show that people who are happy in marriage can twice as often and are ready to ask for forgiveness from their partner than divorced or lonely. Polls also show that the probability to ask for forgiveness first in happy pairs is 25% higher, even when one of the spouses feels that it is only partially to blame. The harder to apologize to the divorced and lonely people or make a conciliatory gesture, the more chances they remain alone.

Love and passion can connect a couple, but compromise and respect is supported by this unity. Learn to say "Sorry."

3) drive from the city of riders who destroy your relationship

Some couples can swear every day, but remain happy in marriage. Others swear less, but if they start, their relationship suffer greatly. What is the difference?

Not the case, you swear or not, but in that as You swear. It is this determines whether your marriage will continue for a long time.

There are 4 factors that destroy the relationship. They are called "four riders of the apocalypse." Here they are:

1. Contempt. The manner of circulation, grimaces of displeasure, curses and insults - in general, you show your behavior that the partner causes you disgust - this is "contempt." If all this is regularly repeated in the initial phase of disagreements, then past days remained until the end of the relationship. In women who look contemptuously at a time when the husband says something, six times more likely to divorce in two years;

2. Defensive position. "Well, what are you stuck to me? Do not look at me like me! What do you need from me?!"

"But I just asked if you would like tea!"

Another important predictor of the possible collapse of relationship is "Exceeding the limits of the necessary defense." If someone begins to scream as soon as the partner suggests something to discuss if it seems to him that he is threatened or attack him, and if this happens regularly - in the relationship of the crisis. The defensive position blocks communication and shares spouses;

3. Do not criticize, but be sure to speak compliments

Criticizing each other's spouses risk so damaging their relationships that they will be "repaired" then it will become impossible ... it does not mean that you can not express your discontent If the spouse is upsetting you, but the criticism is much more destructive than the presentation of claims.

When you criticize, the attack goes to a person generally (Even if you did not want it).

The discontent is directed only to a separate act and does not affect the personality of man. For example, "You are a lazy pig!" implies that man always that is, too lazy - its basic, fundamental trait. There are no specifics and restrictions on time, as in "I thought that you were a little half-person. It's not like that!"

Some believe that constantly pointing to the shortcomings of the partner, they "make it better." But even with good intentions, the consequences will not be good. If you criticize your spouse in public, it is humiliating (for both), but when you talk about it in the company something pleasant is just wonderful.

People in a happy marriage feel that they should be appreciated, love and respected. Remind your spouse about his talents, strengths, and that you especially like it. No one likes to feel under constant fire criticism.

4. Self-assessment or "opposition"

The emotional branch of oneself from the spouse - we "do not see anything, we do not hear," when the partner expresses its claims - another predictor of the soon breaking of relations. Women criticize more, men are more inclined to self-esteem. Men in nature are not able to cope with strong emotional loads, women here have a clear advantage. Therefore, men instinctively try to avoid quarrels and strong irritation and remove protective walls around themselves.

Self-sustaining can be expressed in the fact that the spouse "turns off" during a conversation or tries as little to "contacted" with his wife and thus arrange a "escape from conclusion." The danger of such a behavior model is that it becomes constant, closing it for the practitioner and possible positive aspects of relations.

Everyone needs a personal space, but neverwithout reacting to the emotional manifestations of the partner, we leave it in the cold behind the closed door.

Surprisingly, when at least onefrom these factors (or "riders") is regularly present when "clarifying relationships", the prospects for these relations are left to desire the best. Are these "riders" present in your marriage?

What else can make your marriage happier?

4) Know about notspeak married

Young spouses often want to "dig up a plump", learn "all secrets", be completely open in front of each other and "Everyone". But the study of the experience of elderly couples, who were happy in marriage for decades, shows that in these couples often "miss past" what was told when expressing negative emotions. These people also prefer not to pay a lot of attention and their feelings about relationships, if only do not consider something absolutely necessary. This "threshold" here is much higher than that of young couples.

Therefore, the typical advice that worried about you "to tell" and "to be completely frank" does not contribute to healthy and long-term relationships. Agree with the claim and know, from what it is worth staying away - one of the key skills in relationships.

5) Work on problems, but stay at the helm

Another key factor that helps to keep the relationship with disagreements is the habit of changing the topic when the discussion is "coming down from the course". Such quick "switching" reduces the number of negative emotions and reduces the likelihood of "chewing" of the same in the future. It also carries a message: "We can argue, but at the same time get along with each other." Thus, the controversial issue acquires the borders and not spoils the relationship in general.

Disagreements should be a "disposable special offer", not a long series. It is also important to laugh ...

6) Together laugh - together stay together

Regular memories of romantic times in the past and mention of them in conversations ("True greatly ..." And "and remember ...") is a very powerful way to maintain mental connection. But regularly laughed together - an even more powerful way.

According to recent studies, couples that laugh together and regularly remember funny cases, as a rule, are much more satisfied with their relations. Create "pantry for funny cases" and more often come there. Without a fun marriage dries out like a flower without water.

7) Provide 5 "good cases" on one "bad"

For a stable marriage, you need five "good" on one "bad." "Good" - it can be a warm hug, and a day, pleasantly spent together, and discuss the interesting film, in general, something positive. "Poor" is a quarrel, disagreement or disappointment.

So make efforts to fulfill the rule 5/1. It turns out even better if you follow the next advice.

The better you know the tastes of the spouse / and, his / her aspirations who like it and do not like from colleagues at work and so on, the higher the quality of your "love card". Knowledge of the details of the external and inner life of the partner (allowing somepersonal space) strengthens your connection. One my colleague did not know the name of the company in which her husband worked (undervalued), and one man did not know what his home dog was name! (To the big horror of his wife: "He is not interested in anything in the house!")

Correct your "Map of Love", apply new objects to it to better manage your Family Ship.

Life in a happy marriage - This is one of the ways to ensure for many years the satisfaction of your life for each of you. Follow these tips yourself and ask your spouse too to read them.

Formula of family happiness is perhaps one of the most complex life formulas. A prosperous marriage is what most of us seeks what. And the fact that many never manage to create. Divorces, divorces, divorces ... Unfortunate spouses, deprived of the attention of one of the parents, lonely, firmly settled in the house. All this can be found at every step. But marriages are created with hope for a long and happy collaborative life! Why does anyone have it, and someone has no? What are the secrets of family happiness and do they exist at all?

Exist. And we will now try to find out what secrets it is.

What does family happiness depend on?

What is the main secret of family happiness? If you look at the relationship of happy couples more closely, you can notice something in them. First, the spouses in such pairs simply do not exist without each other. In such families, there is no separate "I", but there is an inextricably bound "we". Secondly, in prosperous marriages, her husband and wife communicate a lot among themselves. They discuss joint plans, problems, relationships with friends and close, complexity of professional activity and so on. Thirdly, in strong families there is trust, thanks to which the partners are most frank each other. They tell each other even about whom someone else says a shame. And they know how to forgive their companions of life, not criticizing their actions, but gently advise. And finally, in happy families, the past is not grown, remembering only good.

Why it happened that one person became a real half of the other, it is difficult to determine difficult. However, there are several conditions, subject to which the probability of a prosperous marriage increases significantly. These include:

• Love and respect

  We must admit that not all marriages are created on the basis of strong love. The surface sense of love can quickly disappear, leaving emptiness instead. Therefore, if we decided to create a family, you need to learn to transform in love with love. And try to respect your half. It happens that in the family sincerely and deeply loves only one of the spouses. The other just allows you to love. Here, respect for the satellite of life is especially important. On its basis, immeasurable attachment to a loving partner, capable of becoming love over time;

• The ability to take another person as it is

  We all have and dignity, and disadvantages. This is the integrity of human nature, its individuality and, actually, attractiveness. Trying to remake your halm - the matter is ungrateful. Yes, and meaningless, because shortcomings and dignity - the concepts are relative. Each person himself decides that he is suitable in the other, and what is not. The opinion of others should not be the main thing in this matter and can not be a reason for persistent attempts to change the satellite of life;

• Trust and openness

  In happy families, the spouses are not afraid to admit to each other in the most intimate. Being confident in the fact that they will be understood, they openly show their feelings. This makes it possible to exclude suspected relationships and not doubt that in a difficult situation, the partner will support and do not betray;

• Sharing

  A joint business may be the desire to purchase furniture, a car, housing, apartment design, cleaning, cooking dinner ... The main thing is that the spouses get pleasure from him and have been agreeing in their decisions. In addition, it is important that they shared responsibility for the consequences of any action. And if trouble arose, they did not dump the blame on each other, but they tried to cope with them together;

• Lack of competition

  In happy families, her husband and wife do not compete among themselves in everyday life or in professional matters. They sincerely rejoice in the achievements of their halves and do not find out which of them is talented or lucky;

• Ability to constructively resolve conflicts

  Without quarrels, no even the most prosperous family costs. However, in strong marriages, conflicts have borders. Partners do not allow themselves to humiliate and insult each other and all the more not to move to everyone that will go under the arm. Each of them intuitively feels when it is necessary to stop. And if the insults were still alive in a quarrel's fever, the spouses can forgive them;

• Mutual sense of humor

  Especially by the way it is in the brewing conflict. When two possess the ability to translate everything and together to laugh at the situation, their relationship can be considered healthy, and the marriage is strong. If not, it's time to beat the alarm: a joint life gave a crack;

• The desire to make your half something pleasant

  It includes affectionate nicknames, and gifts, and the desire to help, and tender touch, and meeting from work and much more. Maybe someone's conversion "Zainka", "Cat", "Lapp" will seem well. However, without them, family life acquires some official, not allowing spouses to truly close. Cute words together with unexpected pleasant surprises as if they say: "You are my most native person! I always remember about you and I want to deliver joy ";

• Ability to correctly build relationships with parents

  "Properly build" in happy families means discussing all the news, crisis moments and some major events, first of all, among themselves. It is no secret that many of us when even minor frictions come with her husband to complain to Mom. The result of such complaints is usually the increasing dislike of parents to her husband and her husband to them. It may well lead to family collapse, even if the spouses originally did not want this at all. Therefore, do not interfere with parents in their family affairs. Let them be simply very close people, and not controllers and managers.

Well, perhaps, all the main secrets of family happiness. Of course, in each prosperous family there are small secrets and their rituals, helping to preserve and strengthen the relationship of spouses. But no rituals will save us from trouble if we begin to re-educate our half, let's hide something constantly from it, we will not trust each other and do not find common points of contact for communication. Family, where each of the spouses live in itself, can not be considered a full. It's just the cohabitation of two people who are still comfortable to each other. Their future is foggy, well-being is doubtful. Should I create similar marriages?

Each of us dreams of happiness. And we often rush to get married, believing that it was in marriage and find it. And then we crush, because the husband was not as much as I wanted, the normal family did not work out, the scandals or hanging a gloomy deaf silence do not stop in the house. Why do we have such a life? Wouldn't it be better to wait next to whom will be reliably and warm?

Let's see, in which case marriage promises to be successful and are we ready for family life.

Conditions of successful marriage

So, we meet with a pretty cute young man and as if ready to run with him to the registry office. Stop. Family life is not a walk through the boulevard and not a pleasant cruise on the Mediterranean Sea. This is a painstaking daily work and almost constant work on yourself. Simplify your life with the help of a marriage not capable of such labor to the young lady usually fails. But complicate - easily.

Therefore, before you wear a wedding dress, think about whether we need this young man and do not deceive themselves and Him. Sweet two different people on one territory is not easy. After all, they have grown in irritable conditions and are raised differently. And this means that the spouses have to go through the period of wipes, implying patience, indulgence, the ability to forgive. Without them, marriage will turn into a solid blood pressure, where even harmless habits of her husband or wife can cause a grand scandal.

If we are experiencing a strong attraction to a young man, we will surely be able to quickly accept his lifestyle. Well, when there is no such attraction, both will have to be tight. Attempts to change the spouse, make him live in their own way either push the man or break. In the first case, he will become more and more often from home, in the second will turn into a branched repeater or an alcoholic. Do we want this half of your half?

It would seem adults already possess some wisdom and can be relatively flexible, adapting to each other. But it is in theory. In practice, we most often simply demand from our faithful, so that he refuses his habits, make rapidly, yazvim, gried. It snaps up, we start, start remembering the past, we get a whole flurry of indignation in response ... Scandal, stress, tears. And wines everything - an abandoned with her husband to the edge of the bath towel ...

However, the reason is not in it. Just the girl got married, understanding poorly why she is generally this family. And all the current conflicts with her husband are an external reflection of its inner dissatisfaction and immaturity. And now the marriage oppresses both.

So that this does not happen before converging with a young man under the same roof, you need to determine for myself a few things.

1. What do we feel, looking at him sleeping? We want to kiss a man, breathe his smell, cuddled to the cheek?
2. Are we capable of victims for the sake of this young man? Are they ready to come from about him by their desires without requiring nothing in return?
3. Will you be able to forgive some misconduct and resentment, even when a man does not ask for forgiveness?

If the girl on all these questions answered in the affirmative, then everything is in order. She solved the secret of happiness in the family and is ready for its creation. Of course, in order for the marriage to be really successful, it is necessary that the man wants to him. Do not seek yet? Do not force events. Otherwise, he will try, already being married, to get out what was not caught up to the wedding. We will be diplomatic and patient. After all, we are ready to come true for him with our desires!

The main enemy of a prosperous family life is egoism. It is he forces spouses forever to make some requirements and claims to each other, to set the conditions, limit the actions of their half and so on. Our selfishness does not allow selflessly, expecting anything in return, to love another person. And, therefore, does not give us to be free and happy.

If we cannot cope with your own egoism, why create a family? First you need to learn how to control yourself and your feelings, develop patience and ability of selfless forgiveness. And then find a worthy young man and boldly walk with him a wedding cortem, towards happiness.