Some interesting statistics. The overwhelming majority of readers of this site are women.

Indeed, women are more inclined to seek solutions to their problems, discuss them and ask for advice. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to hush up their problems, because a man is strong and steadfast, he will deal with his problems himself, right?

Based on these statistics, I am increasingly starting to write articles with an eye specifically on the female audience. But resentment is a universal thing, and therefore it is impossible not to touch on men's feelings. The fact that men don't like to talk openly about their problems doesn't mean that women experience resentment on average more often than men. In addition, resentment experienced by men can often be stronger due to the fact that they do not often give it an outlet.

In what ways does a man experience resentment? Of course, in relatives. And of course, one of these relationships is marriage. It often happens that a young man falls in love without memory and, against the backdrop of sweet expectations of a happy future together, makes a woman an offer. And of course, if the feelings are mutual, at first the relationship is really a fairy tale.

But after a few years, the man suddenly begins to realize that the fairy tale that he painted for himself in his imagination does not correspond to reality at all. And the reason for this is a lack of awareness, a lack of understanding of how women really work, and a lack of knowledge of what should be expected of them. But instead of understanding the situation, he would prefer to withdraw into himself and endure, endure, endure. Until sooner or later the threshold is crossed, and a quarrel occurs, varying in its strength from medium to catastrophic.

I note that this is monogamous relationships. That is, it is expected that the husband and wife will sleep only with each other until the very end, that is, until death or divorce separates. And no one is cheating on anyone, has never cheated and will never cheat. It is immediately clear that the initial premises are not the most realistic, but we will talk about resentment in open and “closed” relationships another time. In the meantime, here's how a wife can hurt her husband without realizing it.

How a Wife Hurts Her Husband in 6 Different Ways

1. Denial of sex. This is not without reason in the first place, since this is almost the surest way to ruin a man's life in marriage. Dear women, every time you refuse sex to your regular sexual partner, it is a painful blow.

You see what's the matter ... Let's talk openly. Men are lustful animals. They want sex all the time. Whether married or not. Though he is 20 years old, even if he is 50. Rich or poor, ugly or handsome, a young sexy male fucker-bachelor or a modest middle-aged fat loser-married man. In sadness or joy, in grief or resentment - men always want sex.

Of course, the frequency of the question varies from man to man. Libido is different for everyone - someone wants sex 5 times a week, someone even once will be enough. It doesn't change the essence. The bottom line is that regardless of his character, he expects that since he is with a woman, and he has a relationship with her, this automatically implies regular sex with her. always.

Yes, yes, I know what you can say. “It is not my duty to satisfy him.” “I am not a prostitute for him, I am the wife and mother of his children”, “Sex is not the most important thing”. But here's the thing - if you're marrying him, if you want a happy relationship, and your relationship is monogamous, I have news for you. It is your duty to fuck your husband. And for your husband, sex is very important, even if it is not the most important thing in a marital relationship. Why is this so important to him? Because he is not only a caring father and faithful husband, but also a lustful animal, as I mentioned above.

Does this mean that I blame or reproach women? In no case! . Therefore, it is necessary to go through the husbands.

Husbands, remember! Did you really expect that that honeymoon that you had at sea, when you fucked with your freshly baked wife several times a day, was the norm? Or is the first year of your relationship the way it will always be? I have news for you - women are biologically designed in such a way that they get bored with the same man in a long-term monogamous relationship over time.

Do you know why? Because the genetic code that people carry in themselves has not changed for millions of years. And this code programmed women to look for the right male who would provide them with offspring and would protect this offspring (which is funny, these two roles can be performed separately by two different men). How long does it need to be protected for it to get back on its feet and be able to escape? 20 years? 15 years? 10 years? No, less years than the fingers on one hand.

Therefore, from a biological point of view, a woman is “not interested” in sleeping with you for 20 years as it was in the first years of your marriage. Because if you have been living together for a long time, then from a biological, sexual, animal point of view, you are no longer perceived by a woman as a man with whom she sleeps. At least not as much as it used to be. Now you are more like a relative to her, and biology does not allow sleeping with relatives.

But what about emotions? We are not animals, we are people, and not everything is controlled by biology. Yes, this is true, not everything is decided by biology. But emotions are exactly the same biology, and they serve to ensure that you fulfill your biological program. Your male biology has programmed you for sex throughout your life. The point is not that we have more than just biology. The bottom line is that the biology of men and women when it comes to the sexual component of relationships is completely different. She needs to get offspring from a quality male from sex. And you, men, from sex need to spread your biological material across planet Earth. And no amount of social adjustment from above can drown out this fundamental difference between male and female biology, no matter how society denies it, trying to equalize men and women or reduce the importance of biology to nothing.

What does all this mean in terms of the subject matter of this site? After all, the site is not dedicated to evolutionary psychology, but to resentment. And it means the same as always. on his wife, men. If you don’t like the fact that the frequency of sex is decreasing, write it down on paper. And then, when you clean up the offense and see the situation as it is, you will be able to decide what to do. And perhaps you will understand that from now on you can no longer expect that the same woman will be the source of your male joy and satisfaction all your life. But more on that another time...

2. Permanent commands. We are talking about women with a more dominant character. Such women consider themselves “strong and independent”, and in practice this is expressed in attempts to constantly control the situation. In case of discrepancy between the situation and the scenario of events, directives are issued to correct the vector. Such women have a vector for everything, including their husband. So it falls to him, poor fellow.

Here again, men, wake up! A woman commands you only because you allow her to. Yes, there are men who like to obey a woman, but this is not about them. They do not feel offended by this kind of communication with a woman. Therefore, if you are reading these lines, most likely you are not one of them. Clear your mind, rake out all your fears and limiting beliefs, because of which you are not able to resist a woman. And there it will be clear what to do.

3. Attempts to change it. Women marry expecting a man to change over time. Men marry hoping that a woman will never change. Please, here's Venus and Mars, that's it. A man marries, hoping that everything will be as it was at the very beginning. A stable relationship is one that doesn't change.

Give a man a beautiful, smart, cool woman with big breasts and / or an elastic ass + a set of all the qualities he likes, and he will be happy. If only it never changed, always remained as it is.

But this is only from a male point of view. From a female point of view, stable relationships are those that have development. Women are more dynamic beings than men.

Women, first of all, with that very dominant character, expect that a man will adapt to new circumstances and, as a result, change if necessary.

Amendment - change if necessary to her. Personally, he may not have any intention of changing, for why? And so everything is fine. But the fact that his wife now and then criticizes him and hints that it is impossible to do this, or that it should be better, this eventually begins to settle in him in the form of resentment.

4. Excessive use of the phrases “You always…”, “You never…”, etc. Oh, women love it. "You never help my mom." "You always leave the toilet seat up." And well, are you really ready to swear that he always doing something or never doesn't do something there? You don't have to answer, I already know the answer.

Again, the trick is the difference between the communication styles of men and women. The fact that for men and for women these words mean different things. For a man, the words “always” and “never” are determined by their lexical meanings, which can be found in the explanatory dictionary. For a woman, these words are subject to the expression of those emotions that she experiences at one time or another. And if the emotions are strong enough, they bypass the linguistic filters in a woman's head, and, ultimately, are displayed in the form of the words "always" and "never".

Men, do not attach any importance to this - just get used to the fact that women work this way - there will be less resentment. Do not cling to the words, you are taking them out of context - the context of her emotional state here and now. And the resentment that you have already accumulated - what do we do with it? We are working on it, of course. Without pity.

5. Making him responsible for his emotional well-being. It should be noted that not only women do this, everyone does it. And men, and old people, and children. And in relation to everything around. It's not me who's offended, it's you who offended me. It's not me who is a fool and a lazy person, this state is bad and steals. Etc.

But still, if we compare men and women in marital relationships, women more often behave with men in such a way that it is the husband's fault that she is in a bad mood. An interesting seeming contradiction. On the one hand, women are more emotional, and on the other hand, they are less likely to realize what causes their emotions. And as a result, they do not realize that when they blame their husband for their emotions, nothing changes. He doesn't understand what he can do to you. Other than apologizing for nothing on the machine to calm you down.

But men, again, the responsibility for the offense is on you. You, too, do not shine with awareness if you suffer from such situations. After all, it happened that your wife directed her bad mood at you, and you have already formed a sense of guilt in yourself. Then you take responsibility for her bad mood on yourself and begin to accumulate resentment, slowly hating yourself more and more along the way. No problem, work it out.

6. Indifference to his efforts. Do you want to hurt your husband? Stop appreciating what he regularly does for you and your children.

A single man does not need so much money to maintain his existence at the same level. This means that a lot of his motivation to work harder is you and possibly your kids. Alas, often this is not realized or forgotten over time.

A single man does not need to help your mother, fool himself with communication with your relatives, or be faithful for decades. Alas, often this is not realized or forgotten over time.

By no means do I mean that men in marriage make greater efforts to preserve them than women. Not at all. Forgetfulness in relation to each other is a universal human defect, inherent in both men and women. Fortunately, you can fight it - after all, studies were invented for a reason.

Work hard, husbands and wives!

What is the conclusion of all this? There are two of them. The first is mutual understanding between men and women and a conscious attitude to how differently women and men perceive reality and communicate - this is the key to harmonious relations. Second - if there is a grudge against your marriage partner - work it out! At the same time, in the process of clearing your brain, you will acquire the necessary transparency of awareness so that you do not have such problems in the future, regardless of your gender or marital status.

Although each of us undoubtedly strives for harmony and mutual respect in marriage, it is not always possible to achieve such an ideal. In the life of spouses there are difficult periods and unpleasant ups and downs. But all of them can be overcome if there is a spiritual relationship and sincere feelings between the partners. But in some couples, situations may arise when one of the spouses very often or almost constantly expresses dissatisfaction with the partner. The reasons and methods for overcoming the constant dissatisfaction of the wife with her husband will be discussed in this article.

Causes

The psychology of the relationship of a married couple is by no means simple. The expression “darlings scold, only amuse”, indicating the frivolity of conflicts and quarrels, is not true in all cases.

It is not uncommon for men in marriage to find themselves forced to live in a difficult and hostile environment. The wife is always dissatisfied with her husband, often offends for no reason, makes far-fetched and unreasonable demands and claims. If there are children in the family, such an unfavorable environment has a very negative effect on their emotional and mental health. Unfortunately, often men in such a situation simply break down in response, showering their soulmate with rude words and reproaches. As a result, scandals exhausting both partners occur almost every day in the house.

Both spouses should approach the solution of such a problem with full seriousness. It is important for a man to figure out what is the reason for such behavior and the almost constantly excited state of his partner. The wife also needs to work on her psychological difficulties. She should try to find a way out not in the sphere of scandals and systematic humiliation of a loved one, but in rational methods of correction and control of the psycho-emotional state.

Consider the possible reasons for the discord in family relations in a couple, because of which the wife is always rude, insults and expresses dissatisfaction without objective reasons.

Often, such violations in relationships lead to problems in the sexual life of the couple. Being unsatisfied with sexual relations for a long time, but being unable, embarrassed or unwilling to express it, a woman gradually accumulates emotional stress. Over time, stress only increases, and the spouse begins to unconsciously look for relaxation in the domestic sphere. Many women do not associate sexual life with their psychological state at all. This greatly complicates the awareness and subsequent resolution of problems in relationships.

A barrier to the establishment of family life is the shyness of one or both spouses. Partners are not ready to competently discuss sex, express mutual wishes to each other, point out any negative points. A similar situation, when a couple does not have a healthy sex life that satisfies both partners, greatly complicates relationships outside of bed.

Emotional remoteness of the spouses, lack of common interests and opposition of characters greatly complicate family life. It is not uncommon for a situation where the choice of a man for marriage was somewhat forced. Unfortunately, even today there are still marriages of convenience or at the insistence of parents. The reason for such an inappropriate union can be an unplanned pregnancy. In any case, it is almost certain that such partners, cohabiting in marriage, will be deprived of a sincere spiritual relationship.

Lack of common interests and common ground will complicate normal communication. But living side by side, it is impossible to ignore the existence of each other. Therefore, the reasons for communication, in this case - negatively colored, are simply contrived. This results in nit-picking, reproaches, insults from one or both spouses.

The reason that a woman scolds her husband may be that the family setting she observed as a child. In other words, a girl or woman, having entered into marriage and started a life together with a man, unconsciously repeats the scenario of building relationships that she saw with her parents. Often in such cases, even childhood psychological trauma occurs if the girl had to watch difficult scenes of scandals and even violence.

The parents of the wife can also aggravate the situation in the family. Most often, the mother intervenes in the relationship of the daughter. A mother-in-law may speak negatively about her son-in-law. Often, an adult woman can even embark on adventures in order to humiliate her unwanted chosen one in the eyes of her daughter. The situation is even more aggravated if the spouses live in the same house or apartment with the wife's parents.

The reason for the sharp and rude behavior of the wife may lie in the negative traits of the character of the man himself. The wife is thus forced to defend herself or defend her interests. Often, husbands openly show unreasonable jealousy, possessiveness, limit the freedom of the second half, preventing her from realizing her interests and engaging in hobbies. Deprived of communication with friends, not having the opportunity to do something interesting for herself, in addition to work and family, a woman, in response, vents her emotional stress on her spouse.

Severe consequences for the psycho-emotional sphere of a woman have experienced episodes of violence, including sexual violence, by a man. It can be a beating of a father, and severe fights with an older brother, rape by a partner or an unfamiliar man. If a woman did not receive psychological help and could not cope with the trauma on her own (which is possible in very rare cases), then fear, resentment, helplessness before brute force remain in her subconscious for a long time. This is a very difficult situation that requires long-term rehabilitation and work with a psychotherapist. Women are most often ashamed of such an experience, and the husband may not even know that his wife was once abused. Therefore, it cannot even imagine that the root of the problematic behavior of the second half lies precisely there.

How to build relationships?

Of course, a loving spouse certainly wants to return a calm and friendly atmosphere to his family. However, it is worth setting yourself up for the fact that this may not be possible to do as quickly as we would like. In any relationship, marital or premarital, patience plays an important role. It is this quality that is important to stock up, setting out to preserve and strengthen your marriage.

Psychologist's advice for men

Help your wife find a way out of difficult situations for her, support during problems at work. All this will help her relieve stress and calm down.

• Don't ignore problems in your sex life. Talk to your spouse about her feelings during intimacy. If both you and your wife are not ready to discuss this issue, do not be afraid to contact a sexual relationship specialist. All over the world, couples visit such counselors, and this helps to strengthen the marriage, build mutual understanding, and often prevents divorces.
• Objectively evaluate your behavior, habits, manner of communication with your spouse. Self-analysis of one's personal qualities is useful in any situation. Often we reproach a loved one for what we regularly do ourselves.
• Husbands often make the mistake of trying to please their other half in every conflict. Of course, you need to make contact and correct really committed mistakes. But here indulging unreasonable demands, insults and nit-picking is still not worth it. This will not get rid of the core of the problem.

How to behave during quarrels and conflicts with your wife?

Simple advice should be followed.

• Try to be calm, do not respond with rudeness to rudeness, do not escalate the situation. Constructive adequate communication is much more effective than a heated quarrel.
• If the spouse cannot calm down in any way and does not make contact, perhaps you should leave her alone for a while. Go to another room for a while or go for a walk. Before doing this, gently tell your wife that her words are very hurtful for you, and that you are ready to give her time to recover, and then calmly discuss the problem with her.
• Learn emotional control techniques. For example, breath count. To calm down, do not quickly count to yourself to 4, taking a uniform breath, hold your breath for another 4 counts at the same pace, then exhale evenly for 8 counts.

2-3 minutes of this exercise is enough to get back to normal. Tell your wife about this or another effective technique for you and do it together during a tense situation.

Good afternoon, dear homebodies. As often happens, a wife is dissatisfied with her husband, his behavior or attitude towards her. “You don’t help me much around the house!” - this is one of the most popular women's claims to a man.

Wanting to at least slightly reduce the daily covey of his beloved woman, the man resignedly takes on more and more responsibilities, but this does not change the situation for the better.

What's the matter? Why or depressingly silent?

Let's make it clear!

Housekeeping is work. And it so happened historically that a woman does this work.

Undoubtedly, this work can be greatly facilitated by equipping the home with a washing machine and dishwasher, washing vacuum cleaner, food processor and other modern things. Actually, most men see this as their contribution to the creation of home comfort.

It seems to them that a woman is now required only to press the buttons with manicured fingers, without looking up from the magazine.

As you can imagine, things are a little different. And it’s not even about the fact that the dirty dishes won’t scrape off the remnants of goulash from themselves and won’t line up in even rows, but someone still needs to sort out smelly socks from lace panties.

It's about management. What, you ask, management can be in a banal laundry? You don't even think about it, but for your wife, every wash is a real project!

• Is there enough laundry?
• whether there are complex ones on it that require pre-processing,
• will the noisy spin of the child wake up if you start washing late in the evening,
• is there enough space in the dryer if you wash everything at once,
• whether to boil all whites separately, or wash them together with light colored items at medium temperature,
• Is there enough powder for 2 come in or do you have to run to the store ...

Yes, these decisions are made automatically, but this happens every time and before every button press.

Cleaning, washing dishes, shopping, cooking, caring for animals and plants - all this requires, like any other job.

The more household chores, the more carefully you need to think over the strategy. And this is what turns a woman into a housewife.

Step one.

When a wife is unhappy with her husband - evaluate your contribution

Situations are different. It happens that a husband works two jobs, and rushes around at home like a madman, following the orders of his unemployed wife.

And it happens that he sits on the priest in front of the computer in the office and drinks coffee, and his woman rushes after work to the kindergarten and the store, and spends her evenings at the stove. Nevertheless, it is still possible to divide responsibilities so that everything is fair.

Determine what household chores you are ready to take on entirely and completely, and what work you will not touch even at gunpoint, and discuss this with your wife.

Step two.

If the wife is unhappy with her husband, then do your job inside and out

You must understand that if the sharpening of kitchen knives fell on yours, a woman should not plan this work.

Knives must be sharp, period. If she yells from the kitchen, "Honey, the knives are dull!" She has already taken over some of your work. And every time she squashes a tomato with a finger-blunt blade, she has every right to snort.

After all, the sharpening of knives that you undertook includes not only maintenance, but also preventive inspections.

If a woman asks you to do your work, it means that you have not freed her from this work by 100%. Believe me, it's better to do one thing without waiting for a request than 10 things at the behest of your wife.

Step three.

If the wife is unhappy with her husband, take the initiative

No, it's not about how to take on all the homework, freeing your favorite to watch TV shows. If you have already divided the responsibilities equally and do your own thing, and your wife does not have to plan your own work for you, it's time to learn one little trick.

It consists in the fact that from time to time you will participate in the planning of her duties. For example, you dripped ketchup on a white shirt. You can throw it in the laundry basket. You can wash yourself.

Or you could say, “Honey, I have a stain on my shirt and there are a lot of white things in the basket. Shall we wash them today before the stain dries?

The same goes for cooking. When your wife asks what to cook for dinner tonight, she does not try to please you at all.

Do not try to ease it with the words “whatever you want, then cook” - this is the worst answer! By choosing a dish to your taste, you help her plan her work.

Step four.

If the wife is unhappy with her husband - ask and remind

It happens that, objectively, the wife does much less than the husband, but continues to nag him methodically. In such a situation, you can take on the role of tactician and strategist, regularly reminding her of her duties.

And if earlier, when she could not get a nail hammered into the wall from you for months, the truth was on her side, now that you have learned to do your job inside and out, it's time to put her in her place.

At the same time, you can be in her shoes and feel what it's like: constantly asking, reminding, demanding and not getting any result. With women who are economic, responsible, and most importantly, loving, this technique usually does not have to be resorted to.

Have fun

The distribution of roles and their clear implementation allows you to reduce conflicts on domestic grounds to a minimum. After reading women's forums, you come to such a simple conclusion: women are annoyed not by the fact that a man does nothing, but by the fact that he does not do anything himself.

After all, you yourself like it when your wife makes your life more pleasant (in a certain sense) on her own initiative, and not after you ask her a thousand times about it.

If the wife is unhappy with her husband, you need to talk heart to heart, what are you doing wrong in her understanding?

Happy family life!

Is your wife unhappy with something and whining all the time? Very often, women are prone to mood swings and not for the better. This is the usual standard situation in the family, given that constant hormonal fluctuations accompany them every month. Breakdowns are often associated with But what if her anxiety quite often affects others, and the main negative is directed at you? So you need to find a way to get hurt the least.

Sometimes men are confused about how to act sensibly and do what they can. Well, well, everyone has their own strategy. However, ask yourself, is it effective? Psychologists believe that there are the surest ways to get rid of the tension emanating from the wife. Find out more about

1. Create your own personal space at home. It can be a corner with a cozy armchair or a separate room dedicated only to you, where you can escape and detachedly wait out the next fuse of your wife. This method will avoid the heat of passion and senseless clarification of the relationship.

2. When you notice that your wife is starting to "boil", get out of the house and save yourself from unnecessary inconvenience. Use this period to your advantage: go jogging, walking or other activities that bring you benefit and pleasure.

3. Find time when the woman is calm and discuss her problems with her. Find out what specifically irritates her, what makes her unhappy. Help, if it is in your power, and her request is reasonable.

Be sure to tell how this behavior upsets you, annoys you, depresses you, and makes you leave the house. That you don't want to see your woman in such an ugly state. However, this must be done very delicately, without unnecessary reproaches and quarrels.

4. Try to ignore. This is one of the most important methods to calm a conflicted wife. Try not to get into a controversy when she's not in the best mood. Engage in reading or watching TV, in general, ignore it, which will avoid high-profile scandals and possible irreparable mistakes.

5. Get away from the topic that bothers her and move the conversation in a different direction. Talk about something of mutual interest. This method is one of the most effective to get rid of annoying questions and gradually smooth out the confrontation.

6. Have lunch or dinner together, invite friends, relatives or good acquaintances to visit. Perhaps a kiss is enough? Thus, you will demonstrate your care and attention.

Usually, women who have received a portion of the assurance of love calm down.

7. Do not be rude in response, smile. Male kindness can melt the heart of any woman. And for a man, she will help in a fantastic way to overcome the hardships associated with an angry wife, as well as maintain peaceful relations.

8. Think about whether you have something that would unite you, besides the concluded family ties? Maybe a shared hobby? Maybe your wife is also a fan of football or basketball? What do you enjoy doing together the most?

It has long been confirmed that spouses who are also friends do not have a chance to quarrel. Think about it.

9. Give your wife compliments, care for and admire her hair, clothes and appearance. Your will make a woman control herself and give you credit, which will be reflected in a softer and calmer attitude.

10. Understand the woman. The biggest reason for disagreement between spouses is the lack of understanding from the very beginning. It is very important that a man understands the nature of his wife and the true motives of her non-standard behavior, knows what pleases her and what upsets her.

Thus, you can achieve complete harmony, not only love yourself, but also be loved. And only a loving man is capable of this act.